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Sun December 25, 2005
(Some legal beagle)
 
 
 
Jessica (Barbie Doll) Simpson says the judge in her divorce case is a meanie and she wants him removed (pic)
source: femalefirst.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
Tennessee proposes bill to tax business software as "property", despite software manufacturers saying you never actually "own" the software. Remainder of news article printed on the side of this opened can of worms
source: it.slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The State)
 
 
 
The tax on items bought on the Internet is about as effective as the 55 mile per hour speed limit
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I-Mockery)
 
 
 
I-Mockery brings us coal this year - the Star Wars Holiday Special
source: i-mockery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Lice killed more of Napoleon's army than the Russian winter
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this old bottle
source: imageknockout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Boston man turned away at convenience store for wearing Yankees hat
source: news.bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
New "burqini" allows Muslim women to flaunt it if they've got it (with pic)
source: heraldsun.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
American Idol's Carrie Underwood is voted Oklahoman of the Year, beating out literally ones of other people for the honor
source: kevxml2a.infospace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Man robs arcade while wearing a bright pink dress and a brown wig
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Mayor of Glendale points at the arrival of the Arizona Cardinals as proof that the suburb is becoming more sophisticated. Opponents of that opinion point out that welcoming the Arizona Cardinals to town doesn't exactly smell like progress
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Prisoners in PMITA penitentiaries are finding a new way to pass the time -- submitting false tax return claims to the tune of $200k, without fear of prosecution
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Way News)
 
 
 
Delusional New Yorker legally changes name to Jesus Christ. "I am the person that is that name."
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NASA)
 
 
 
Photoshop the last man on the moon
source: antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Spanish radio shockjock calls Bolivia's president-elect pretending to be the Prime Minister of Spain, hilarity ensues
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DW-World)
 
 
 
German artists host exhibit with new interpretations of the traditional Christmas tree. Results include chili pepper trees, garbage trees, and a "super action" tree that likes to attack visitors
source: dw-world.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Starbucks finally started building coffee drive through after realizing that some people just wanted to have their caffeine without standing in a damn line listening to clever jazz compilations
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hawk Eye)
 
 
 
Police ready to trade in their $40 flashlights for $5000 "tiger vision" flashlights that do not emit any light visible to the naked eye
source: thehawkeye.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Stolen puppy returned just in time for Christmas...with a stocking full of doggy toys
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
French chef to develop food for astronauts. Freedom fries surrender
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PowerLineBlog)
 
 
 
Congressman arrested for calling the war "wicked, cruel and unnecessary." But there's a catch
source: powerlineblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Republican)
 
 
 
Despite "threatening, perverse and jaded" e-mails, pastor still plans "Mr. Heterosexual" contest where straight guys will play "Name that Potato Chip" blindfolded and discuss best uses of duct tape
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
New Christian video game allows players to smite their opponents, as long as they have enough faith. "If a game could make the baby Jesus cry, this would be it"
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"And that star over there by Orion's Belt is the Duke Sucks nebula"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Japan's space agency wants to develop space suits that are lighter than current models and with upgraded functions, in times of danger suits will allow astronauts to form Voltron
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ArgusLeader.com)
 
 
 
Man Dies after crashing motorcycle when port-o-potty falls off the back of a truck
source: argusleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Interfax)
 
 
 
Russian corporation Energia plans to double spacecraft production
source: interfax.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
'Twentysomethings' are increasingly using anti-aging, wrinkle treatments to stave off appearance of age. Apparently, 'stay out of the sun' is free and wrought with too much common sense
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Merry Christmas everyone
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
The dark side of pro bass fishing
source: signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
You do not have a constitutional right to keep racing pigeons
source: washtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Plan B
source: fark.com%23okwhatnow   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 24, 2005
(Tribune-Democrat)
 
 
 
Bocce court in Iraq fire-zone is an officially sanctioned and recognized member of the United States Bocce Federation
source: tribune-democrat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marshfield News Herald)
 
 
 
Caption these women (voting enabled)
source: cmsimg.marshfieldnewsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Some French regions ban sale of gasoline. ExxonMobil surrenders
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(com.com)
 
 
 
The US government wants every vehicle to have a GPS tracking device. There will be no restrictions on use of tracking data and your car won't run if you disable the device
source: news.com.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contact Music)
 
 
 
Mischa Barton from The OC: "Pretty people aren't as accepted as other people."
source: contactmusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
How to drink vodka and stay sober
source: konstantin2005.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man invents Instant Balcony, which sounds better than BarcaLounger of Death
source: realities-united.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
Ten bogus frights of the past that shocked the world
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy teasing a roast pig
source: dennisjernigan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Prince Charles plans to be called King George VII when, and if, he becomes the King of England
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PC World)
 
 
 
The 50 greatest gadgets of the last 50 years
source: pcworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(some station)
 
 
 
Christmas Eve NFL Discussion thread. You'll cheer, you'll cry, you'll complain that your local affiliate isn't broadcasting the game you want to watch
source: fox31news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
World's biggest boxer, Nikolai Valuev, loses his champion belt on return home (with pic of his wife)
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WacoTrib)
 
 
 
Man steals copper wire from a working electrical substation, what could possibly go wrong?
source: wacotrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Egypt cracking down on dangerous wedding convoys
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Official Fark Christmas Tree thread Post yours with voting goodness LGN
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Falling Sand Thingee)
 
 
 
Draw lines to alter the flow of various substances. Surprisingly addictive
source: ishi.blog2.fc2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
New Yorkers salute transit workers coming back to work. This being New York, you'd be correct in thinking the salute was missing a few fingers
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fed furiously printing money to prop up the dow. $38 Billion in monopoly money created just this week
source: safehaven.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AVN)
 
 
 
UCLA hospital turns down donations to help families in need because the money was given by a porn company (some site ads may be NSFW)
source: avn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(L J World)
 
 
 
Mayor Boog Highberger has a message for Lawrence, KS: "Zimzim urallala zimzim urallala zimzim zanzibar zimzalla zam"
source: www2.ljworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
While women may say, "It's the thought that counts" when it comes to opening Christmas presents, they're lying
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NORAD)
 
 
 
The science behind The Santa Tracker
source: noradsanta.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(A Yankee Fan)
 
 
 
Shave and a haircut, $52 million
source: sportsillustrated.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Dumb: Stealing a car from a pizza deliveryman. Dumber: Calling your buddy to brag about it. Fark: Failing to realize it's not your buddy on the phone, but a cop
source: kcci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Thief dismayed to discover that the Christmas party he chose to pickpocket was being held by the local police department. Oops
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMY)
 
 
 
Police not entirely sure: It was either a shoe-salesman kidnapping, a shooting, a car wreck, a guy hit by car, an escape from a closet or an attack with a lamp
source: wfmy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Doctors discover soap operas portray comas in unrealistic light. Of course, everything else portrayed on soap operas is extremely realistic
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Car thief banned from all parking lots in English town is left baffled at how he's supposed to attend court, since the only way in is to pass through a parking lot
source: thisisexeter.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Transportation spokesman strongly urges Santa to use public transportation, since his reindeer produce a lot of gas
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Festivus is alive and well in northern Pennsylvania
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Man hurts his murder trial insanity plea by bragging to his friend that he's faking it
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Western Mail)
 
 
 
Carol "The 12 Days Of Christmas" was originally a song about pagan mating rituals before Catholic Church changed the words. Eight maids a-milking indeed
source: westpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
Scientists find tiny magnetic particles on cats' wrists that help them find their way back home. In other news, cats have wrists
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this golfing duo
source: static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Remember that kid who said that the feds questioned him after he checked out Mao's Little Red Book from the library? Now he says he made the story up
source: southcoasttoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PCOmelet)
 
 
 
Gigundus icicle captivates small New England town
source: pcomelet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
British Santa's got a street-legal sleigh that goes 70 mph. The Sun is there (pic)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
British woman gets letter from queen on her 100th birthday, but not even a card from her asshat nephew known as Sting. "I realise that he's busy being a rock star," she says
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
White House releases tsunami-preparedness plan. If you live in Nebraska or Iowa, you'll do fine. New York or California residents, your water wings will be mailed to you shortly
source: ap.peninsulaclarion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
If an earthquake happened in the Amazonian rainforest, and only the Ecuadorian Geophysics Institute heard it, did it make any sound?
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rock climber
source: static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel 3000)
 
 
 
Two men stabbed at regular meeting of Madison Fight Club. Police say investigation is going slowly because no one wants to talk about Madison Fight Club
source: channel3000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
More kids around the world emailed Santa their Christmas list than mailed it, experts say. In related news, record number of parents tell their kids "Santa's only got dial-up" rather than "Santa doesn't exist"
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(noradsanta.org)
 
 
 
Where's your stuff? Track Santa on NORAD
source: noradsanta.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Shopper pays for marine's engagement ring
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
SC Johnson introduces enormous ZipLoc bags. Collective "Sweeeeeeeeet" is heard from stoners worldwide
source: ziploc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 23, 2005
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Even astronauts on International Space Station get Christmas gifts. Unfortunately, the gifts came from Russia
source: mytelus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Reuters' Top 40 Pictures of the Year
source: i.today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Disaster survival cookbooks the next big thing. Enjoy some "Shiitake Happens Mushroom Soup," or "Duck and Cover Tortilla Bake"
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Comedian Mike Myers files for divorce, listing something about "axe murdering" as main grounds
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
London probably won 2012 Olympics because of misplaced vote. Florida offers to conduct recount, no extra charge
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It's not smart to drive a car without a license... for the 11th time. But it takes a special kind of idiot to wave happily at police while passing them on the street
source: wakefieldtoday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
That loud popping sound you just heard was the housing bubble
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMY)
 
 
 
Maine burglar put on ice when homeowner comes home and finds him unable to get out of the driveway
source: wfmynews2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Shoppers holding out for last minute sales, according to the Retailer's Association of Wishful Thinking
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"That's the best spot you know, if you're going to have a knife in your head"
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ZimDaily)
 
 
 
Robert Mugabe, President of Zimbabwe, has scrotum pierced by angry goat. Apparently, God has a keen sense of humor
source: zimdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
2006 Olympic hockey rosters
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Playing a didgeridoo for 25 minutes every day can help you sleep better, get you lynched by your neighbors
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Guy creates wooden computer. Still reportely trying to work out some bugs (pics)
source: funmansion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
U.S. intelligence has been monitoring mosques and Muslim houses for radiation in top-secret program for last four years: Report
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Italy has a new king of fashion, and his name is Pope Benedict XVI
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Yes you go/Downtown... where the actors go/Downtown... such as Brad Renfro/Downtown... to buy heroin, crack or snow/Down on Skid Row
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Fifteen-year-old boy victimized by a female sexual predator. Only this time she wasn't a teacher, just a porno actress. The Smoking Gun is there (with pic)
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Despite being convicted of a crime and having approval ratings below 20 percent, Ohio Governor Bob Taft considers 2005 to have been a successful year for him
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
America must choose between watching Bolivia turn into a socialist drug haven and accelerating the process by trying to stop it. In conclusion, put cocaine futures
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Danville Advocate-Messenger)
 
 
 
If you're burglarizing a church and you don't want to get caught, don't stop to take a beer break in the minister's office
source: amnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Seattle Mariners, who had the most players suspended for steroids last season, sign a guy whose biggest claim to fame is being suspended for steroids
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Online)
 
 
 
Police claim that the opposition leader in Kazakhstan -- who was shot twice in the chest and once in the head -- committed suicide
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXLY)
 
 
 
Kid channels Riley Freeman, hilarity ensues
source: kxly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wral.com)
 
 
 
Girlfriend tries to swallow phone during argument
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
This time of year is a wonderful time to drive past your local mall. Share your stories
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Strike as fictional as an Oompa Loompa cost $400 million a day
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Study shows bartenders pour less alcohol into tall glasses. Another way short and fat things get some love thanks to alcohol
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
The "Second Amendments," a bipartisan rock and roll band comprised of five members of the House of Representatives, to rock the troops during Christmas
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
American musician living in Holland upset by 800-year-old tradition of Sinterklaas and his blackface companion, Zwarte Piet
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Top 10 things people in Britain should fear in 2006 include tsunami, nuclear meltdown, volcanic eruption, according to disaster "experts" with way too much time on their hands
source: sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Rhode Island couple find rare pearl in Quahog. Critics shrug, say the show gets off a few good one-liners but isn't consistently funny
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ 101.5)
 
 
 
Today's "state legislator caught switching price tags on items to save money" story brought to you by Irvington, NJ
source: nj1015.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
2005: The sports year in weird
source: msn.foxsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Firm buys Tommy Hilfiger for $1.6 billion. Vows to continue to make clothes that look ugly and are overpriced
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Court says drunk driver who wrecked sports car can sue owner of dirt pile 15 feet off the road for causing the wreck
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
With no more pressing news to cover, Reuters reporters tackle the tough story: Where exactly does Santa live? Iceland, in their opinion
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Planting trees may actually cause global warming
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
FORMER EMPLOYEE OF SCHOOL FOR DEAF CHARGED WITH EMBEZZLEMENT
source: northcountrygazette.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Pop singer Howie Day charged with one count of interfering with a flight crew, three counts of sucking ass and writing cocktastic lyrics
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The weirdest case mods ever
source: gadgets.fosfor.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Osama bin Laden's niece renounces family and poses for hot photos in men's magazine. White House declares her a Weapon of Men's Desire
source: news.bbc.co.uk
 
(webindia123.com)
 
 
 
Egyptian man's wedding day ruined when he discovers his burka-wearing fiancee of three years is actually a man
source: news.webindia123.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Surprisingly cool old-school side shooter
source: wimp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Netscape)
 
 
 
Man loses ring while packing fruit baskets, was startled to have it returned by a couple of short folk, an old wizard and a ranger from the north
source: channels.netscape.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ben Maller)
 
 
 
FedEx dumps Vikings quarterback from advertising campaign following sex-boat scandal. Love Boat, Spice Channel reportedly interested
source: benmaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News24)
 
 
 
Lawyer claims Saddam has been psychologically abused. Critics contend he should have read the whole auction before bidding on that egg carton with XBox 360 written on it
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Wal-Mart/employee settlement total rolled back due to a clerical error
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SJ)
 
 
 
Man stabbed to death by long-time girlfriend in argument over can of beer. Making situation more tragic, it was a can of light beer
source: sj-r.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Problem: Milwaukee wants to improve its image. Solution: Move the official thermometer
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Live scorpion shows up in Greek hospital operating room. Here it is. Rock it like a hurricane
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
"Tick-tock, tick-tock, is it a bomb or is it a clock?" Middle-school teacher writes poems threatening to blow up her students. Felony charges ensue
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Courtney Love willing to sell Nirvana song catalog for $100,000,000, which buys quite a bit of crack
source: entertainment.excite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The top 10 sexiest geeks of 2005
source: tinynibbles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contractor.uk)
 
 
 
New browser-blocking software employs a colour and image-analysis engine that processes an image's shape, colour and text to decide if the content should be blocked
source: contractoruk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Santa's new day job: Frisking visitors and checking for bombs in five-star hotels
source: today.reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Austria to celebrate the 250th anniversary of Mozart's birth. Festivities to include shrimp on the barbie, Foster's
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Indiana governor not too crazy about the baboon wallpaper and green Buddhas in his new pad
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
In a move that will undoubtedly threaten the very foundation of the counter-wiping industry, the makers of "Bounty" sue the producers of "Towels" for infringement (with pics)
source: greenbaypressgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Tell this Santa to do something and he will. Take a piss and act crazy are not out of the question
source: santasez.sig-ad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
China's Iron Chef ingredient today will be: Cadmium
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Space Agency)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Pluto probe
source: nssdc.gsfc.nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Milford Daily News)
 
 
 
In order to "embrace diversity," school bans Christmas, show tunes and the color red
source: milforddailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
Homeless inventor wants $1,500,000 from the New York Yankees for letting them wear his frozen rubber necktubes that were responsible for them winning the 1996 World Series
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Cover a song with the word "hero" in its title or lyrics... but, in your version, replace the word "hero" with "dumbass"
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grouchy Media)
 
 
 
Videos from the guys at the sharp end
source: grouchymedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discovery)
 
 
 
Researchers determine cows are only four thumbs short of forming a union
source: dsc.discovery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Law says girlfriend must sleep outside when man's daughters come over for the night
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Share your favorite holiday recipes for this weekend
source: southernfood.about.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Girl)
 
 
 
Adult toy company in North Carolina gets Business of the Year award. Helps out everyone in the community, including animal shelter and family violence prevention center
source: comcast.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Because guinea pigs like to dress up too, woman develops tiny sweaters, dresses, football helmets
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Father loses a Schwarzenegger worth of weight to enlist in the Army, with before and after pics
source: nyjtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Scientists tagging and tracking office teaspoons over a period of five months find that 80 percent vanish utterly. Uri Geller impressed
source: today.reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Gabby the Regal Beagle hangs up her nose after 70 dog years of sniffing out contraband such as smoked wallaby legs
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Works from this year's Legofest 2005
source: mediabum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Diver stranded on a rock refuses helicopter rescue because he's afraid of heights
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Garden in Britain reveals hoard of Bronze Age artefacts. The British spell the darndest things
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News Observer)
 
 
 
School gets check for $2,500 and an unsigned confession for 1973 vandalism
source: dwb.newsobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Mom picks up messy family members possessions and sells them on Ebay
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(eBay)
 
 
 
Looking for a last-minute Holidaymas gift? Look no further: Your own stuffed horse
source: cgi.ebay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Economist)
 
 
 
The mountain man and the surgeon
source: economist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Members of the British House of Commons (and their journalist guests) consume 800 pints of booze a day
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Spent fuel rods at Scottish nuclear plant reported to be doing "something unusual." It wasn't drinking 20 pints of beer and headbutting a cop, so police and fire crews scrambled
source: today.reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Most cordial bank robbery note of all time: "Please give me $50 so I can go to jail. No one will get hurt and I will wait for the police outside. Sorry for the inconvenience"
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Headline-making little boy found wandering beach after tsunami, lands role in movie about football
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Mooner)
 
 
 
Photoshop this nearly full moon
source: neovenator.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Farker's friend Brent is willing to shave an obscene word into his head for cancer -- donate something and you could choose what it is. Still no cure for cancer, but at least he's trying
source: brentorama.bravejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 22, 2005
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Grad student keeps her only copy of her masters' thesis, the product of seven years of effort, on an easy-to-steal jump drive. It doesn't take a degree to see where this is heading
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Retardent workers kill Rhode Island's official Christmas tree by spraying it with fire retardent
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Monsters and Critics)
 
 
 
Michael J. Fox shows interest in Back to the Future 4. Details, however, are shaky
source: movies.monstersandcritics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsBusters)
 
 
 
New York Times, 1982: "Federal court ruled it's OK to tap phone calls between American citizens and foreign nationals." New York Times, 2005: "BUSH IS A CRIMINAL"
source: newsbusters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Newspaper remands video of the Kate Moss nose-candy incident to police. Authorities unlikely to pursue charges, fear she would just turn sideways and slip through prison bars
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania Christmas tree dealer including free surprise possum with purchase. "The eyes were, like, glowing," says one customer. "I was thinking, 'Oh my God' And I screamed."
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Dog rescued after testicles frozen to railroad tracks. Nutsack squirrel unavailable for comment
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXAN)
 
 
 
Austrian man receives two months in jail for having cellphone voicemail greeting of Hitler saying "Sieg Heil"
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bush: 2005 a good year. Presumably if you're not in New Orleans, are a fan of government torture camps, and don't mind high budget defecits
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hubble finds new rings around Uranus. Bleach sales on the rise
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Evolution named 2005's top scientific breakthrough. Gravity up for grabs in 2006
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(It's a Sweater)
 
 
 
Theme: The moment of disappointment on Christmas morning
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Two Glendale men arrested for stealing mailboxes filled with holiday gifts. Punishments may include five years in prison, $250k in fines and lifetime membership in Fruitcake of the Month Club
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
That Air India flight out of LAX on Monday night? They still haven't arrived in New Delhi yet
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
School's "Got Breakfast" -- now if they could just "Got Grammar" and "Got Teaching Stuff That Matters," we will "Got Education"
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Honolulu Star-Bulletin)
 
 
 
Tonight on TV: "Aloha Flight 243," a documentary on passenger jet that loses foward upper half of its fuselage while in flight but lands successfully. Pilot quoted as saying "I told you I was hardcore" (with pic)
source: starbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABD)
 
 
 
Today is the 40th anniversary of the temporary speed limit on British motorways, a source of great profit to the government with no safety benefit
source: easier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Legendary broadcaster's bones stolen by grave-robbers
source: media.guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Raider fans don't care if Bronco fans hate them, or want them to take a shower
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Upset over strictest confidence in business opportunity being breached, Nigerian militants set fire to oil well in hopes of over-invoicing to repair the damage and transfer more money out of the country with the help of a business partner
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Shots fired in high school gym, no one hit. Shooter reportedly offered a Georgetown basketball scholarship
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Researchers find that the only sure-fire way to prevent a hangover is too avoid drinking alcohol. Ric Romero on the scene
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In California, "fraud" means "gay" when getting an annulment, at least it does for Renee Zellweger
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
"Barbie in a Burka" is the new must-have toy in the Arab world
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CHUD.com)
 
 
 
Hollywood is out of ideas, plans a sequel based on the worst Michael Keaton movie ever. No, not that one, the other one. No, the OTHER other one
source: chud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
Al Sharpton turns down sitcom offer from CBS, citing fact that "The Amazing Race" was already taken
source: kevxml2a.infospace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Group of kids tells Santa to take their presents to the kids that were hit by Katrina
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Man invents "solar purse" which can be used to power "small electronics." No word on what kind of small electronic items might be in a woman's purse
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Santa Claus is infecting your computer this holiday season. Ho Ho Hope your firewall is running
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Paramedics need snow shovel to clear path through garbage-strewn apartment to rescue a woman
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
Scientists find the "ingredients of life" circling around a Sun-like star, claim they have no idea how the beer and boobies got up there
source: newscientistspace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
DirecTV denies allegations that they suck, but pay fines for sucking anyway
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
"An average person exercising common sense should have known" that a 50-pound scooter is the same as a 3000-pound car when drunk driving laws are concerned
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Arizona Republic publishes their top photos of 2005. First up is the beatdown to end all beatdowns (with pic goodness)
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
MMORPG Second Life to sell virtual porn magazine. Virtual kitten population not expected to recover
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsWatch50.com)
 
 
 
Dumb: Streaking at your old high school. Dumber: Not wearing a mask and being recognized by teachers. Fark.com: You forgot the school has security cameras
source: newswatch50.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Remember earlier in the week when the Senate blocked the renewal of the Patriot Act? Maybe not so much
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
Anti-spam crusader sells candidacy for governor by sending thousands of unsolicited emails bragging about it
source: sptimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Students make field trip to fire station, girl gets injured sliding down pole. Mother suing for negligence, claiming daughter's career aspirations to be stripper over
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Christina Ricci will guest-star in a future episode of "Grey's Anatomy," possibly as an emaciated cadaver if her picture is any indication
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
Ten Juniper message-board posters being sued for defamation and libel. In the future, flame-wars will consist of two people typing "I believe you to be incorrect, but I could possibly be wrong"
source: yro.slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Celebs and disasters are most searched terms on Google in 2005. Combining the two into a "wardrobe malfunction" makes you No. 1
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pope Benedict may have screamed like a little girl when he was elected
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Massachusetts Santa Claus arrested for being ho ho horny... again
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
It's raining idiot men in this Australian bar, and one idiot has been charged for it
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Planes in trouble make good television
source: theobsessivemessenger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1010WINS)
 
NewsFlash
 
NYC transit workers to return to work, continue negotiations
source: 1010wins.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(eBay)
 
 
 
Charity auction of "Webcam that Fooled the World"
source: cgi.ebay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Bush pardons two men convicted of moonshining
source: rctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KETV)
 
 
 
Secretary of Transportation gives Santa clearance to land on people's houses on Christmas Eve, lets reindeer go through security line
source: ketv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Judge under investigation for using official court letterhead to extort a million dollars from newspaper he was suing for libel
source: news.bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghai Daily)
 
 
 
Huang gets too excited during sexual debut, damages shrong
source: shanghaidaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Scientists investigate why people are attracted to hot dancers. Still no cure for cancer
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this line of ladybugs
source: static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Boy ordered not to trespass on housing project property. Since the the housing project surrounds his home, easier said than done
source: news.bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ICNetwork)
 
 
 
Gun-toting robber's plan to stick up store goes wrong when 54-year-old clerk tells him to "Get lost." Police say, "Fortunately, he did"
source: icayrshire.icnetwork.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Zoo owner believes Toga, the stolen baby penguin, has died, after receiving call from man who claims he dumped it in a plastic bag
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(620WDAE)
 
 
 
Colts Coach Tony Dungy's son found dead
source: 620wdae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Gospel Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster to be published, proceeds to be used to buy pirate ship which will help spread the gospel. Preach it, brother, preach it!
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Impact Lab)
 
 
 
Britain is about to become the first country in the world to record the movements of every vehicles on the roads. Prince Charles responds by saying he wishes he was a tampon
source: impactlab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Twenty-three percent increase in Houston homicides NOT blamed on Katrina evacuees. But, hey, put two and two together
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Faquier Times-Democrat)
 
 
 
From the "where are they now?" files, Linda Tripp is serving big weiners in Virginia
source: zwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
USDA to fight exotic fire-ant invasion by introducing imported South American phorid fly. What could possibly go wrong?
source: news.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Senate blocks arctic drilling in Alaska several years after Hillary Clinton blocked it in the Lincoln Bedroom
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I-Mockery)
 
 
 
Further proof that companies will do anything to tie-in popular characters with holiday merchandise just to make an extra buck: The Incredible Hulk now has a Christmas tree of his own
source: i-mockery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Japanese whalers, Greenpeace, currently locked in standoff in remote Southern Ocean. Fortunately, one of them thought to bring harpoons
source: today.reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Fark's favorite stormchaser, Mike Hollingshead, has his photo selected as one of MSNBC "photos of the year." Voting for ultimate "photo of the year" is enabled over at MSNBC
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Theme: A page from the "Fark Holiday Cookbook." (Difficulty: No nuts)
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Hundreds of human footprints dating back to the Ice Age found in the Outback, all of whom called ahead for seating
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Doctor's Guide)
 
 
 
New study shows that two million Americans have drug-resistant superbug in their nose. Experts warn that this is nothing to sneeze at, critics say threat is overblown
source: docguide.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Best Of Cincinnati Magazine.)
 
 
 
And thus the people of Cincinnati spoke: "Best Internet sacrilege of 2005? Why that would have to be Fark's 'Touchdown Jesus' photoshop contest." (Link to PS contest in thread)
source: best-of-cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Double-mouthed trout pulled from lake. Four-assed monkey, three-eyed fish still on the loose
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKMG)
 
 
 
Bizarre five-pound chunk of ice falls from the sky in Japan. Bespectacled onlookers take lots of pictures
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Illeadysseus)
 
 
 
Philippine politician steps down after accusations that she's had thousands of Greeks inside her
source: manilastandardtoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 21, 2005
(Farktography)
 
 
 
Theme of Farktography Contest, No. 33: "Around the House." Link goes to next week's contest. Please read first post
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Santa descends from his arctic realm with a merry goal: Pay every parking ticket in Birmingham
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Australian aquarium takes the old fake-fly-in-ice-cube trick to the next level, displays 23-foot giant squid in block of ice
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky)
 
 
 
Basque separatists continue to be a nagging pain in the ass. They're still blowing stuff up, but at least they have the decency to tell people to evacuate first
source: sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Coming this January: Comet dandruff delivered via a "big tennis racket"
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
When George Steinbrenner opens his Christmas presents, he'll find a $34,000,000 luxury tax bill and, once again, no championship ring
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blackpool Online)
 
 
 
Fifteen-year-old female student suspended after accepting dare, kissing female teacher on the cheek. In other news, this wouldn't be news without anal school authorities going to pucker factor nine in three-seconds flat
source: blackpoolonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Today's Iron Photoshop ingredient: Congressional districts
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Study on liberal bias in the media accused of bias. Groups accusing bias study of bias accused of bias
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
Iran expecting first cloned sheep. International watchdogs look forward to herding it
source: kevxml2a.infospace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Hurricane Katrina the top story of the year in media poll, much to the disappointment of "Lipstick on my cat's butt" supporters
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Hurricane Katrina actually weaker than originally thought. Levees magically repair themselves, streets unflood, Heineken bottles fly back on shelves and the Saints don't suck
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Louisville Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
Judge rules ACLU is "tiresome" and "does not represent a reasonable person" in Kentucky Ten Commandments case
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Strike leaders in New York could soon be going to pound-me-in-the-mass-transit-system prison
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
German firm fires employees for exceeding "two moans per employee" rule, and other weird regulations at the workplace
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Dick Cheney, a man clearly in touch with the people and not blinded by power and greed, insists that Americans don't mind being spied on by their own government
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man braves New York transit strike to rescue chicken. Interviews with chicken available upon request
source: biz.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Egotastic)
 
 
 
Lindsay Lohan shacking up with Keanu Reeves for a collective IQ of 40
source: egotastic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(eBay)
 
 
 
Guy gets job. Guy quits job. Guy forgets girlfriend's picture. Merciless coworkers seize the opportunity
source: cgi.ebay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Three stabbed at release party for Notorious B.I.G.'s posthumous greatest hits album
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
"Funny feeling" kept men off crashed Miami plane; helped them find their "special purpose"
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Saddam claims he was beaten in custody, does not like dem apples
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
Erectile dysfunction may warn of heart disease onset. Men shrug, just want boners fixed
source: kevxml2a.infospace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Man tries to rob a bank with a pint of gas and a roman candle
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Santa fights off gang of thugs in British mall with tree. "He wanted to show our shoppers and their children that Santa is no pushover," says mall manager
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
When most people want children, they just want one. George Clooney wants sextuplets. By next year
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Wife, 26, has 46-year-old husband killed with help from her 16-year-old daughter's 18-year-old boyfriend... wait, that can't be right
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman admits she's "a little obsessive" about Santa, and with 6000 of them in her house, no one's going to contradict her
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
Jets fans are the worst on the Web -- excluding Raiders fans, of course, who are using their data ports to light up their Darth Vader skull bongs
source: sportsillustrated.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Witchita Eagle)
 
 
 
Woman without access to Fark calls police over robbery while in possesion of marijuana and drug paraphernalia
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Chad Johnson may use a live deer as an endzone celebration prop this Christmas Eve. The NFL, caught in the headlights, says "Doe, a deer? That's just fawning the flames of disaster"
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
New York may be the wrong team for Damon, and not just because he'll have to shave
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
British trademark registry rules in favor of French Connection with emphatic "FCUK, yeah"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
Japan Airlines jet flew for months with engines mounted in wrong place. Officials searching for a man with big teeth muttering about ballbearings and Quaker State
source: mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contact Music)
 
 
 
Pamela Anderson: "If you cover your nipples then you're clothed"
source: contactmusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Morning Call)
 
 
 
Today's "man threatens police with medieval weaponry" story brought to you by Allentown, PA
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
South Park's Cartman first appeared on a 1854 Christmas Card. No kittah daughts mah haggis pie (with pic)
source: heritage.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
Video
 
Pro-wrestling fan breaks down in tears while hailing his favorite wrestlers (with video)
source: planetvids.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly Burbs)
 
 
 
Woman embezzles over $300,000 from a church to buy breast implants and a house
source: phillyburbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Man arrested after he was found crawling around in the ceiling of a strip club
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Scientists discover female gorillas go through menopause: Suffer with symptoms of weak bones, hot flashes, and watching their mates move on to trophy wives after they worked so hard to put him through Gorilla School
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contra Costa Times)
 
 
 
Judge enjoins David Letterman from using "code words and eye gestures" to inform New Mexico woman that he wants to marry her and make her his co-host
source: contracostatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsletter)
 
 
 
Drunken "Samurai Sword Man" who terrorized residents of housing development sent to jail for nine months. There can be only one sentence
source: newsletter.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Candidates in the federal election campaigning door to door come face to face with naked constituents; are invited to relax in lavender baths
source: ottawasun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Justice department may have flipped Abramoff
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Love hurts -- especially in India, where if police find you out on a date, they will beat the living crap out of you while TV cameras roll
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Kobe bangs in career high 62 points, cementing reputation as NBA's most explosive scorer
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sum Guy)
 
 
 
Today's Monster Shop challenge: Combine any two ads from Craigslist's Free Stuff section to make a nice Holidaymas gift. Example: Free sailboat and a free 26-foot (yes, foot) TV
source: craigslist.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Scientists find sweet tooth in the brain. Tooth Fairy's alibi a little shaky, but no arrest yet
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Applicant withdraws application for Jesus Juice trademark. Mind changed after children's Thriller bed sheets came complete with pop star
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
Seagate to buy Maxtor for $1.9B after instant rebate, mail-in rebate and $15M off $75M coupon
source: kevxml2a.infospace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Drunken rampaging, armed robbery of stores and banks, speeding and assault are just some of the charges against bad Santas this year
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Man accused of exposing himself at medical clinic claims it was a wardrobe malfunction. Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake unavailable for comment
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
This week's house with 301 cats (184 dead) brought to you by Frederick, Maryland. Must be something in the Potomac
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Rock slide in New York State makes deposit in bank branch that opened the day before. Doesn't get the free toaster
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Apparently that shark off the coast of Australia had a friend in the Atlantic who also likes the taste of boats
source: sportsillustrated.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I-Mockery)
 
 
 
The evolution of Santa
source: i-mockery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these balanced rocks
source: static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Doctor charged for giving weed killer to patients with cancer (That's weed killer, not killer weed)
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man credited with inventing lite beer passes away. Burial at sea expected because he liked things close to water
source: kesq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Moose lured into family's yard by mating call of boy's saxophone. Turns out he was just horny
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Japan invents intelligent elevators that repair themselves after earthquakes, notify nearby Terminators of Sarah Connor's floor
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Milwaukee Channel)
 
 
 
Milwaukee man attacks another with meat thermometer, screaming, "You're done!"
source: themilwaukeechannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Latest road-rage incident involving hand grenade brought to you by Garland, Texas
source: nbc5i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Top federal spy judge quits in protest of Bush's domestic survellience techniques
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Workers at Cat Protection League offices in Scotland have started putting out poisoned food after being overrun by mice
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 20, 2005
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Seagoing scullers scarecely 'scape shark seeking smelly sewage. Now sharing ship with said shiat
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Canadian store fires employee for taking chocolate from a garbage can
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
United Nations creates new agency to help states recover from wars the United Nations failed to prevent
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Flight out of Logan Airport declares emergency, apparently with landing gear, to attempt landing shortly (Update: Plane landed safely)
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Sparks Tribune)
 
 
 
No two snowflakes are alike. Ric Romero nods approvingly
source: charlotte.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ModBee)
 
 
 
Santa Claus now robbing banks in Texas to bankroll his eight tiny reindeer
source: modbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
In another stroke of diplomatic genius, a U.S. television host describes Canada as ''a stalker'' and a ''retarded cousin''
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EOnline)
 
 
 
Britney Spears sues magazine for $20 million dollars for calling her "goofy," leading fans to wonder what that crazy trailer-whore will do next
source: eonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Rep. Edward Markey (D-MA) is still worried that terrorists could hijack planes by forceful nail clipping, removing eyeglass screws
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ZDNet)
 
 
 
Members of the FTC declare anti-spam legislation a success. Apparently, they don't have email or they buy a lot of Viagra
source: news.zdnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Canadian Supreme Court to rule on legality of swingers' clubs. Observers say the decision could go either way
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The name "Jesus" is a mistranslation. No word on if Joshua is pissed at us getting his name wrong all these years
source: thenazareneway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
When in a conflict with an opposing political party, do you: A) Debate with them? B) Lead protests against them? C) Dig up the grave of the opposition leader's mother and try to steal the body?
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Butter Battle)
 
 
 
Today's Iron Photoshop ingredient: Butter
source: wisdairy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Jackass penguin may have been stolen by human relation as Christmas present. Keepers warn someone didn't think this one through
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brocktown News)
 
 
 
Mexican official calls U.S. fence plan "stupid." U.S. rebounds quickly, pointing out that the official is a "doodiehead"
source: localnewsleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
Good news everyone: "Futurama" may make a "Family Guy"-esque return
source: slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Local Goodwill president salary slashed from $824k to $626k per year, forced to shop in own store
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Cajundome seeking 70 volunteer toilet flushers as it cleans up after Katrina refugees
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Mayor of Schwarzenegger's home town: Suck it? Okay
source: fortwayne.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Transport workers' union to be fined ONE MILLION DOLLARS per day, be fired upon by sharks with frickin' laser beams on their heads
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Elton John has bachelor party: Drinks are served in the lounge, nuts are on Elton's chin
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Oklahoma woman nicknamed "Stretch" sets hospital record with 14-pound, three-ounce baby
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Gwen Stefani is pregnant with Gavin Rossdale's child. Gavin to keep his shirt on at all times so the baby has no confusion as to who's serving the drinks
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ebay cancels plans to allow sale of pets, which is just as well as they're too hard to stuff into mailing tubes
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Vikings coach Mike Tice mad at fans who scalp tickets
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Budapest man claims color of store holiday decorations are a little too close to Commie Red for his taste. He appears to be the only one
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nashville City Paper)
 
 
 
Yup, it's Christmas as the ACLU vs. the State Capitol for having a menorah display. The war on Judaism continues unabated
source: nashvillecitypaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Banana Boy a-peels sentence
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Alcohol sales banned this Sunday at Giants Stadium. Fans panicking at the thought of having to be sober while watching the Jets play
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSMV)
 
 
 
Ah, Christmas time... when families get together to steal $10,000 from a charity fund set up to give new lungs to a 12-year-old awaiting a transplant
source: wsmv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Two men arrested for stealing train horns and attempting to pimp their ride with them
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Latvian man had blood alcohol of 0.9 percent -- almost twice the lethal limit -- before being run over by a car
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVF)
 
 
 
Town wonders why police chose to store a meth lab in the water supply tower, also why the drinking water for the town has meth in it
source: wtvf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald-Record)
 
 
 
"May God damn this newspaper for running the photo of the snow penis"
source: recordonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hilldale News)
 
 
 
Best newspaper correction of the year concerns bogus gay marriage notice. "The information was fabricated and inserted as a prank into the news computer system by a member of the Daily News staff, who has been fired"
source: hillsdale.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Wayne Gretzky's mom has died
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rawstory)
 
 
 
Censure motion introduced to House, ultimately seeks investigation into impeachable Presidential offenses
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSMV)
 
 
 
Clarksville family concerned with 500,000-volt tower radiation mutating their cattle into supercows. Watts the big deal? It's just a ohm on the range gr amps
source: wsmv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
400 pounds of explosives, including 150 pounds of C4, stolen from bunker in New Mexico. Federal officials reportedly seeking singed coyote for questioning
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
TV reporter attempts to escape DUI arrest by kicking officer, head-butting him with helmet hair
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Killer's death sentence commuted to life after jurors were found to have used the Bible during deliberations
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Schwarzenegger to Austrian death-penalty critics: Suck it
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Inmate files over 500 lawsuits, including suing Hallmark for defective envelope and Kellogg's for stale Corn Flakes. Threatens to sue Fark if link is not posted
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Scotland community is behind an American student who was kicked out of his high school dance for wearing a kilt. Not quite as closely as a Welshman is behind a sheep, but still supportive nonetheless
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Why people who work from home get no respect, and never mind that home-office dwellers are their own cafeteria staff, shipping-and-receiving clerks and janitors
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside Bay Area)
 
 
 
Hooker invited to U.S. soccer camp
source: insidebayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Holiday train carrying Santa, a dozen elves and sleigh derails in Chicago. Witnesses report short, furry green creature with small heart fleeing site
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EarthTimes.org)
 
 
 
Lost Beagle 2 did land on Mars, and by "land" they mean "plowed into at a high rate of speed"
source: earthtimes.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Learn math with road signs
source: roadsignmath.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Table Warrior)
 
 
 
Now you can scream "Have at you" while holding a table
source: us.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Rail car filled with anhydrous ammonia that derailed in Iowa didn't leak, so please go away you crazy meth addicts
source: dmregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Bush's approval rating shoots up to 47 percent following Iraq elections in latest story you're not hearing much about
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NST)
 
 
 
Country of Nauru's only plane repossessed by U.S. bank
source: nst.com.my   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News-Observer)
 
 
 
"Trust me, you haven't lived until you've been verbally pimp-slapped by the Rev. Al Sharpton first thing Monday morning"
source: newsobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Teen who caused fatal car wreck surprised that admitting to guilt on his blog may be bad for his defense
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Judge outlaws intelligent design in Pennsylvania. Philadelphians prepare for meatball rain and rivers to flow with marinara
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Twin snow leopards born at Sydney's zoo. One has snow balls, the other has no balls
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this philodendron
source: static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)