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These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
Sun September 11, 2005
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Cooking for single people: share your recipies Challenge: keep it simple but varied and tasty
source: google.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wacotrib.com)
 
 
 
Texas doctors who provide illegal abortions may receive the death penalty
source: wacotrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(aversion.com)
 
 
 
Firefighter fined for using fire truck to water his lawn
source: aversion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
Hong Kong Disneyland under fire from dog-lovers, shark-lovers, fireworks-haters, and everyone else who hates their trash
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(umop.com)
 
 
 
Interdimensional 15-gesture version of "Rock Paper Scissors." Simplicity surrenders
source: umop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Manchester ready for the event of the year: people trying to knock Yorkshire pudding off a wall by throwing Black Pudding at it
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ibm offering new laser printer that can churn out Tolstoy's "War and Peace" in less than a minute
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Massachusetts pays almost $100 a piece for park ranger uniform patches with pot leaves embroidered them
source: redsox.bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Ford and Fiat to build cars together, devise new acronym to describe broken down vehicles.
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Australian police and customs officials raid warehouse and find $1.5 million worth of stolen tobacco. No word on how much of it had been made into TVs and vans
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Scottish team wins the King's Cup Elephant Polo title. They're dancing in the street in Aberdeen
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Robert)
 
 
 
Matrix style animated ninja battle
source: flashvaults.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Man pretends to be a doctor, and even gets to serve on the highly important committee for safer dance parties
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham has been voted England's most pointless celebrity. Her husband David came in second
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(No Commercials; No Mercy)
 
 
 
TiVo cuts prices in half; still finds it morally wrong for you to record anything on Fox
source: start.earthlink.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Move over Illuminati, here come the Exclusive Brethren
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Photoshop this indoor surfer
source: wtimg.us.publicus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some TFette)
 
 
 
Cooking Farkers: Who's your favorite chef on Food Network? LGT my pick. And it has nothing to do with her being hot.
source: foodnetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Tfer just picked up golf this year. Give him some tips LGN #
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Today is the fourth anniversary of 9/11. Refresh your memory of that day by reading the farkives threads
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Musical bed linen comes with sounds like wind in the forest, birds singing, and sounds of the sea. Sawing of logs and musical fruit still in development
source: popgadget.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Are you ready? Opening week NFL discussion thread
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
National Wildlife Federation lobbies to have seismic tests suspended because they make it tougher for hunters to shoot elk and deer
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sunday Mail)
 
 
 
Scotland seeks to bring back flogging. Well-qualified BDSM dungeons concerned that it will hurt business
source: sundaymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
Your tax dollars at work: Katrina victims using their FEMA-provided debit cards to buy $800 Louis Vuitton purses and other luxury items
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Theme: Futuristic body modifications
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Saudi King slaps ban on hand-kissing. High-fives and low-fives still kosher
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
College freshmen and mageirocophobes - people who hate to cook - would bow down at the Altar of Ramen Noodles if such a thing existed
source: lacrossetribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sunday Mail Australia)
 
 
 
Audience member to Aussie footballer: "Did you play any football or did you spend your whole time shagging?"
source: thesundaymail.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH)
 
 
 
12-year-old girl accidentally sees a picture of her mutilated father during a presentation on drinking and driving
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are a Camera)
 
 
 
Photoshop this little girl and her best friend
source: weareacamera.ilovegames.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
"People need to understand politically and socially that porn was not born yesterday, that it's fundamentally harmless, and that people have been looking at it forever"
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Amy L. Nitrate)
 
 
 
Man charged with delivering fake drugs turns out to have genuine drugs. Tazerlarity ensues
source: nashscene.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Transgendered evacuee arrested for showering in female shower, losing the game of lets hide the Salami (w/pic goodness)
source: theeagle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat September 10, 2005
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Greenlanders watch in awe and horror as gigantic chunks of ice break off glacier and crash into fjord below
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
HIV-Positive man convicted of attempted murder for spitting blood at people
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
USMC Col. Steve Hummer demonstrates new, high-tech Hummer. Don't ask, don't tell?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
This year's top movie at the Venice Film Festival is a movie about gay cowboys eating pudding
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Woman tries to sell frogs' legs labelled as "chicken thighs"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Good ol' boy network prevails in contracts awarded for Hurrican cleanup and reconstruction
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Girl)
 
Weeners
 
Guys without shirts (not safe for work)
source: eze-4-women.com
 
(Some Ghastly Website)
 
 
 
Apparently the 'Go f*** yourself, Mr Cheney' guy has a website, tastefully done in late-90's garish
source: hurricanekatrinasucked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Traverse City Record-Eagle)
 
 
 
Pet rabbit foils felon's plan to skip trial, flee country
source: record-eagle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Senate strikes a decisive blow in the War on Sick People by making it harder to buy NyQuil and Sudafed than it is to buy the actual meth the Senate is worried about being made from them
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
No. 7 Virginia Tech routs Duke 45-0. This concludes today's "Duke sucks" affirmation
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Alldumb.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop these tough guys
source: alldumb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVOA)
 
 
 
If you happen to see a 400-pound granite elephant lying around, please notify the police in Natick, Massachusetts
source: kvoa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Alternative energy stocks skyrocketing, losing power when clouds block sun
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RXPG News)
 
 
 
Researchers may have found an effective vaccine for feline AIDS. Still no cure for promiscuous tabbies
source: rxpgnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pueblo Chieftan)
 
 
 
SUV buyers respond to $3 a gallon gasoline prices by buying more SUVs
source: chieftain.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RedOrbit)
 
 
 
Rednova presents the physics of tennis on the moon. Strong Bad beats Coach Z 1,000,000 to 3
source: rednova.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Your gas dollars at work: Gulf emirate of Dubai will build a city of life-size replicas of seven wonders of the world at an estimated cost of $1.5 billion
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this, um, drill team.
source: static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shropshire Star)
 
 
 
Couple names their son Rafferty Bob Ash Chewbacca Peate, plans to call him 'Chewy' for short (pic)
source: shropshirestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(McCall.com)
 
 
 
After a bite from neighbor's dog, woman dons long blonde wig and "goofy clothes", rents car, drives around corner and guns down neighbor, takes another hostage. Just another day in Northampton
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(mediabistro.com)
 
 
 
CNN openly questions why they could cover the Iraq War and South Pacific tsunami devastation, but FEMA won't let them cover ongoing NOLA rescue operations. And by "openly questions", I mean "files lawsuit".
source: mediabistro.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Today's "am I really living in America" headline: police of suburbs south of New Orleans steal refugees' food and water, fire shots over their heads to drive them back into the city
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Express India)
 
 
 
Armed bank guard arrives at licensing facility to renew his arms license, forgets to set safety before handing the gun over to constable. Hilarity ensues
source: cities.expressindia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Futuristic Toilet Seat)
 
 
 
If you've ever wanted a toilet seat that gave you an enema while you were sitting on it, boy howdy are you in luck
source: advancedtoilets.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Cessna has too much slice on its approaching shot, bogeys the eighteenth hole
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Today's "I'll never drink again" story brought to you by Denver, where man on painkillers, who hadn't slept for two days because of tooth abscess, decides to have a few beers and go four-wheeling at night in the backcountry
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Woman finds baby squirrel orphaned by Katrina, does what anybody would do: sleeps with it and lets it live in her cleavage. In other news, thousands of "orphaned" Farkers descend on Mandeville, Louisiana (pic)
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EnidNews)
 
 
 
Three straight-A students receive suspension for dying hair; no warning given; can not make up missed work
source: enidnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Judge allows release of identity of anonymous librarian who was allegedly served with FBI demand for information about anonymous person who allegedly did something unspecified related to national security
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gloucs Echo)
 
 
 
Naked man gives chase to thief
source: thisisgloucestershire.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Today's stupid criminal award winner is: bungling burglar attempts escape with wheelbarrow in the pouring rain
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
School decides to get those fat, video game playing, Cheeto eating, surly teenagers more exercise- by taking away their lockers
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Robotic arm feels breasts, finds Sarah Connor, searches for new Fark cliches
source: msutoday.msu.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Company turns unsolicited, 'junk' faxes into $100 each for the recipient
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Radworld)
 
 
 
If H.R. Giger and J.K. Rowling traded jobs... (possible spoilers in entries)
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Beautiful Bollywood actresses annoyed that lead role in coveted sexy soap commercial--with a woman taking a bath surrounded by rose petals--has been taken by a dude
source: news.independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Loophole lets Rhode Island prostitutes work indoors. Fark collectively packs it's bags and buys a one-way
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald (UK))
 
 
 
Ikea to introduce flatpack houses. Allen wrench, south wall, and rancid meatballs not included
source: theherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contact Music)
 
 
 
Kanye West, further elucidating his anthropological theories, thinks white people should only use black slang when it's old and busted. Word to his mother
source: contactmusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Man protects his daughter, survives mauling and scalping from grizzly bear. "I could feel a tooth going into my scalp...At that point I thought, 'hmmmm you can die from that,'"
source: komotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Research concludes what many have long suspected -- Gummi Bears fight tooth decay
source: komotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop what this carver's carving
source: ryanphotographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Saturn's moon, Titan moon occupies 'sweet spot' in the solar system, which is always preferable to the wet spot by Uranus
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man sets world's fastest blind driver record after speeding across airstrip at 167 mph. Considers piloting an aircraft for his next attempt
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Hurricane victims gone wild; Stranded residents told to flash their breasts if they want to be rescued, get beads
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Polish customs officers seize haul of meteorites on Russian truck, debate over which one will screw in the light bulb
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PhillyBurbs.com)
 
 
 
911 dispatch center told to put its tanning bed where the sun don't shine
source: phillyburbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
25 Mind-Numbingly Stupid Quotes About Hurricane Katrina
source: politicalhumor.about.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 09, 2005
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Kentucky governor's office urges hurricane evacuees to call Red Cross, gives out phone number. Because you're reading this on Fark, you know it was the wrong phone number. And that it belonged to a phone-sex operation
source: bluegrassreport.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bird-hunting SWAT team
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
German brewer creates beer with 25.4 percent alcohol content, coming closer to a true cure for ugliness.
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Real Tech News)
 
 
 
China to ban Skype: There's goes 1.3 billion people from Ebay's possible customer base
source: realtechnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Argus)
 
 
 
Vermont town spends $2.5 million to build a museum devoted to granite, claiming it will attract thousands of tourists
source: timesargus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN)
 
 
 
Old-style gas pumps can't register $3.00 per gallon
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The fickle finger of fate finally fells the Great Wendy's Chili Conspirators. Includes pix of couple with matching eyebrow goodness
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Honda creates first airbag designed for motorcycles.
source: nbc4.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(cjob.com)
 
 
 
Twenty-five-foot structure deemed "unsightly" and "embarassing" but allowed to remain. You'll never guess what it is
source: cjob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
Tom DeLay to some young Astrodome refugees: "Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?" Oddly, wacky summer camp hilarity does not ensue
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Semi-hardened gang of criminals busted for selling fake Viagra
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Girls who eat breakfast are slimmer than those who don't. Is there anything bacon can't do?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Portland Farker)
 
 
 
Last reminder about this Saturday's (tomorrow.) Portland, OR Fark party. 8 PM, Horse Brass pub, LGN
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Scientists take a break from solving the world's problem to figure out how soap clings to water
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Hollywood is out of ideas: "Police Academy 8"
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RedTub)
 
 
 
Columbia, SC Fark party at the Red Tub -- This Saturday. Drink a few with other Farkers, listen to live music and help out victims of Hurricane Katrina ($10 donation at door for benefit)
source: stationripper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Photoshop Mary Pierce
source: us.news2.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rock Bottom Brewery)
 
 
 
Denver Fark party: Friday, September 16th at Rock Bottom Brewery at 16th and Curtis downtown, 6:00 p.m. Drew will be there, so let's show him the mother of all Fark parties
source: rockbottom.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(eBay)
 
 
 
Painting for Charity 100 percent to Red Cross by "Pablo" Clay "Picasso". Works can currently be seen in world famous galleries such as Le Fridge and Le Cupboard Door at his parents' house
source: cgi.ebay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
Pennsylvannia schools add new subject to report cards: Body-mass index
source: kevxml2a.infospace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit News)
 
 
 
College football coach hopeful his star running back will return from a one-game suspension, despite that pesky murder indictment
source: detnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Prostitute burns down house of civic leader for hurting her business
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
With nothing else going on in the world currently, CNN reports that Elton John has a farting clock
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Thief foiled by adversary he could not outsmart: The sliding door
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
NewsFlash
 
FEMA Director Mike Brown removed from managing hurricane relief
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
TV news scandal causes director to be fired after he stages some of his morning show reports with various friends
source: mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
9/11 relief checks ended up going to Lexington, KY businesses
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(View Askew)
 
 
 
To benefit Katrina victims, Kevin Smith auctioning off walk-on roles in "Clerks 2," barbeque at his house, and other interesting items
source: viewaskew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Study of adults finds 91 percent pick their noses on regular basis
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Post-Crescent)
 
 
 
Man arrested after nailing his entire home shut to prevent his girlfriend from leaving
source: wisinfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Tourists shut out as Toyota's private party takes over Chicago's Millennium Park. General Motors shows up with free tickets and chauffeur rides to places that are open to the public
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
"This woman was squirming around uncomfortably, so a schoolboy swatted her over the head with a rolled-up newspaper"
source: mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
When attempting to steal power lines for the copper content, do not confuse residential wires with 12,500-volt high-tension lines
source: komotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(broadcastingcable.com)
 
 
 
Fox replaces "Family Guy" debut with a repeat because the episode references a hurricane
source: broadcastingcable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Louisiana real estate booms after Katrina
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Bar inversely links price of beer with gas
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH.com)
 
 
 
Florida subdivision bars residents from taking in Katrina evacuees. Evacuees reportedly relieved
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
If you've ever wondered what would have happened if the Hatfields and McCoys had been armed with tomatoes and in an Olive Garden, it probably would be like this
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Intellectual)
 
 
 
Theme: Photoshop your favorite Shakespeare play in a different time and place
source: www-tech.mit.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Beaufort Gazette)
 
 
 
Couple fake storm damage to their crops by throwing ice onto a tomato field and beating plants
source: beaufortgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
New backpack produces energy when carried. Now no reason not to take your ipod on that 500-mile nature hike
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fuel crisis? Short supply? In other news, ExxonMobil's profits are likely to soar above $10 billion this quarter alone
source: business.bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Flatuence)
 
 
 
Theme: Interrupt important moments or speeches with sounds that shouldn't really be there
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Scuba divers to live underwater for 10 days, test the limits of human pruning
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
What's this dolphin thinking?
source: 69.9.160.146   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Flying reptiles just got bigger, plan on attacking Japan and fighting Godzilla
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Newest pain treatment device is a pager in your ass
source: alertnet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Study of pollution in pre-industrial polar ice reveals modern humans came about our habits honestly
source: scoop.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Asshat takes advantage of world's giving mood at the moment to launch appeal to buy himself a Ferrari. And it's working. The Sun is there
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Theme: Rejected soda pop flavors
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Unable to control a powerful and dangerous 12-year-old girl, Cincinnati cops taser her
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Flying Spaghetti Monster)
 
 
 
Guide the Flying Spaghetti Monster and convert the people to Pastafarians so they may enjoy a beer volcano and a stripper factory in heaven
source: venganza.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Gas stations starting to require pre-payment to cut down on theft, justify not changing prices
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 08, 2005
(KATU Portland)
 
 
 
Police baffled by the mystery of a dead naked guy in the middle of their highway
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Researcher buys 100 lottery tickets all to disprove an Irish town's luck. Conclusion: Lucky Charms are delicious
source: today.reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A pet monkey escaped, chased 12-year-old boy into his house and bit his ass
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Paris Hilton wants to settle down and become a homemaker, just as soon as her fiance coughs up the $2 million engagement ring she wants. (With topless mostly-SFW pic from Vanity Fair cover)
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Rolling Stone to publish the note that Hunter S. Thompson wrote just before shooting himself. It's a rambling, incoherent, drug-addled screed, so it's no different from anything else he wrote
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
100 billionith Bic pen sold
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 5 Chicago)
 
 
 
Volunteers and donations needed to aid PAWS Chicago in helping/caring for pets left homeless by Hurricane Katrina. (Link in story goes to PAWS Chicago website for more information)
source: nbc5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
My 2 year old likes to take a little, old camera of ours, put it up to his face backwards and push the button, making it flash right in his face. Is this an honestly bad thing for his eyes?
source: disney.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Secret Service investigates Kentucky student for suggesting on a message board that Bush should be shot
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Striking Northwest Airlines mechanics, looking for new jobs, are dismayed at their inability to find anyone willing to pay them such absurd wages
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
First Apprentice winner fires himself from the Trump organization
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Navy pilots reprimanded for stopping on their way home to rescue people stranded from hurricane when no other help was present. Now in charge of kennels. His status as "Hero" trumps the Navy's assinine-ness here
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocky Mountain News)
 
 
 
Colorado congressman demands that Louisiana not be in charge of any money for rebuilding. Forgets that he's a States' Rights Republican and that no one should take him seriously after he advocated the bombing of Mecca
source: rockymountainnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Freed Dried Movies)
 
 
 
Topher Grace to play Venom in "Spiderman 3," but the real villian is obviously the casting director
source: freezedriedmovies.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Carolina Panthers offer up tickets for this week's Panthers/Saints game to Katrina refugees. For God's sake, people, haven't they suffered enough?
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
USA Today's Department of Yesterday's News reports on slutty stewardess' continued dispute with Delta airlines (with pic)
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Excite)
 
 
 
Officials shut down Chinese restaurant for selling tiger meat, only to be told; "It's okay, it's not tiger meat -- it's donkey meat cooked in tiger's urine"
source: apnews.excite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Grambling football coach Melvin Spears demands that the SWAC record a forfeit for Alcorn State after Alcorn State refuses to play following Hurricane Katrina
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Instead of re-upping his TF membership that expires today, TFer just bet his $5 on the Raiders to win at +300. In six short hours this thread will become a shrine to my prognosticating greatness
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Real Tech News)
 
 
 
Logitech to save relationships by launching the first wireless Dolby 5.1 THX certified surround-sound system. Women and men around the world rejoice (for very different reasons)
source: realtechnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop contest: Dating no-no's
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RTE News)
 
 
 
Indian call center company announces new call center in Northern Ireland
source: rte.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Congratulations to Tropical Storm Ophelia on being promoted to a hurricane
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
CBS apologizes for airing "Price Is Right" showcase of a New Orleans trip and a speedboat
source: groups.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
During the Bush Administration, Louisiana received more Corps money for flood control than any other state, but spent hundreds of millions of dollars on pork projects
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddjack)
 
 
 
Oddjack reports on odds that Kayne will do something stupid tonight on TV
source: oddjack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Australian)
 
 
 
Mississippi resident tells VP Cheney to go f**k himself during his Katrina tour. Cheney responds, "That's the first time I've heard it"
source: katc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Boston ranked the most expensive city in the U.S., overtaking New York after being down three games to none
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Son of astronaut charged with possession of child porn. It is absolutely imperative to mention the fact that he is an astronaut's son, especially in the headline of this story, because... well... astronauts go into space and stuff
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Standard, Au)
 
 
 
League asks naked soccer fans to please stay home
source: the.standard.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincs Echo)
 
 
 
Hard to know who's stupider: The man who asked his friend to break a glass on his head, or the friend who agreed to do it
source: thisislincolnshire.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFTY)
 
 
 
Texas man kills El Chupacabra. Or maybe a coyote with mange
source: kfty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Leicester Mercury)
 
 
 
Engelbert Humperdinck's son accidentally sets fire to himself tending bonfire
source: thisisleicestershire.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Moving etiquette: When people help you move, shooting them in the groin is an unacceptable way of thanking them
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Bush requests $52 billion more for Katrina relief efforts. FEMA is now spending over $2 billion per day on new plan to soak up flood waters and wall off levees with bundles of $100 bills
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some TPIR Fan)
 
 
 
Showcase prize package on today's The Price Is Right included a trip to New Orleans and a speedboat
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News24)
 
 
 
The genius of morality ringtones, brought to you by The Department of Farting Against Thunder
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Theme: Spectacular ways to get fired
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Ebay reportedly in talks to buy Skype. Talks fail when at the last second some jerk bids $3,000,000,000.50
source: news.moneycentral.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ft. Wayne News Sentinel)
 
 
 
Having won exactly one game in the season, Notre Dame fans already convinced they'll go to the national championships
source: fortwayne.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Wired news picks up SA debacle. Duke (and Paypal) sucks
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsfilter.org)
 
Boobies
 
Crystal Klein (not safe for work)
source: newsfilter.org
 
(Flashnews)
 
 
 
Weatherman claims Japanese Mafia are behind Hurricane Katrina
source: flashnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Earthlink)
 
 
 
For some reason, universities with working nuclear reactors on campus don't like to brag about having working nuclear reactors on campus
source: start.earthlink.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWTX)
 
 
 
On top of everything else, a large solar flare may disrupt communications on the Gulf Coast
source: kwtx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
National Hurricane Center warns it will run out of hurricane names before the end of the year
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
 
 
Theme of Farktography contest No. 18: "A special occasion." Link goes to next week's theme. Please read first post
source: itsouttasite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Poster Guy)
 
 
 
Theme: Posters for movie spin-offs of TV shows
source: images.google.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Step 1: Steal things. Step 2: Auction them online. Step 3: Profit. Man unfortunately forgets Step 2a: Don't sell the items back to original owner
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ZDNet)
 
 
 
ThreatCon global threat index raised to Level 2 -- please report to your Internet shelters
source: news.zdnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Officially recognized German anarchist party is running a series of political commecials showing nothing but drunk people making out -- for free
source: today.reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dean's Planet)
 
 
 
Downward Spiral: Celebrity Edition presents the many 'scary' faces of Courtney Love
source: deansplanet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Darwin, Australia residents living life large after cash machine is accidentally stocked with $50 bills instead of $20 bills
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
New book claims Fark almost singlehandedly sparked a porn renaissance, as well as all of the world's evil not already attributable to George Bush or Sean Penn
source: books.slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Intoxicated motorist arrested after throwing drink through nearby motorist's window, stopping in middle of road, throwing tire jack through said motorist's window
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 07, 2005
(1010WINS)
 
 
 
Man finds his Notre Dame season tickets which had been "delivered to the wrong place" -- strangely enough, at the delivery man's apartment
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today's "RV with 74 cats and woman living inside it" story is brought to us by Loveland, Colorado
source: longmontfyi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Theme: Unlikely country music lyrics
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBSpot)
 
 
 
Top 11 reasons to keep an obsolete computer
source: bbspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Web cam allowing visitors to watch walruses basking on the shore will be shut down this week because Native Alaskan leaders don't think the public will really want to watch them being shot and butchered during the traditional Fall hunt
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Adding acetone to gas = up to 35% better mileage
source: lubedev.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Harvard Gazette)
 
 
 
"Pass me that illicit painkiller, dude. I'm gonna snort it." (SNOOORRRT) "OW... OW... OWWWWW... Who snuck blazing-hot pepper into my illegal drugs?? OWWWWWWWW..."
source: news.harvard.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Softpedia)
 
 
 
Noted social scientist Celine Dion thinks the looting in New Orleans is OK since poor people there have probably never had nice things. In other news, Celine did not announce the date that she will allow looting in her home in Las Vegas
source: news.softpedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Two men charged with hamburglary after breaking into closed McDonald's through drive-thru window
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Encephalitis claims two lives in southern Massachusetts. Residents told to avoid mosquitos and other shifty-looking insects
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Prince releases new single for Katrina disaster victims, offers to make pancakes for 500,000 refugees
source: npgmusicclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Straight Dope)
 
 
 
Does suppressing the urge to toot endanger one's health?
source: straightdope.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Paris claims she isn't sexual. Rick Solomon and Carl's Jr. burger seen laughing together
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKRN Nashville)
 
 
 
Investigators believe man charging $7.00 per gallon may have been price gouging. Now he faces possible crippling $1000 fine. Ahh, sweet justice...
source: wkrn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Mexico sends water-purification systems to help with NOLA recovery
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mama and baby giraffe
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Northen Ireland beat England at home for the first time in 78 years
source: skysports.planetfootball.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
A bag containing thousands of dollars of jewels, price tags still on them, found in a Katrina refugee shelter. Strangely, no one claims the bag
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Rod Stewart to appeal jury's ruling he return $2 million advance for missed concert. Attorney: "He reasonably assumed they were paying him NOT to sing"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Ford recalls 3.8 million trucks to replace functional fire-starting device. Wait, no, malfunctioning cruise control switches
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Prague Monitor)
 
 
 
The president of the Czech Republic posts signs that inform people that the EU does not extend to his personal property
source: praguemonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Production employee spent a month working on Superman's codpiece so his package looked "just right" for the new movie
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Mexican Navy sends rescue ships and supplies to New Orleans. You know things are bad when you need help from the Mexican Navy
source: signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Thirty-three percent of steroids cases come from the Seattle Mariners, which still doesn't explain why they suck
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Carolina Channel)
 
 
 
Government tells Charleston, SC to be ready for a plane load of evacuees. Plane winds up in Charleston, WV. Twice
source: thecarolinachannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TWeb)
 
 
 
We've secretly replaced their porn with verses from the Koran... let's see if they notice
source: itweb.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(kfmb.com)
 
 
 
Jerry Rice may not be able to retire this year due to a NFL rule regarding one-day contracts after the roster cuts. Retirement home will still accept him this year
source: kfmb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Organizers of testicle-cooking championships left hanging by ballsy hoaxer. The eventual winner, Gornji Milanovac, won after "beating off stiff competition from 11 other teams"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
New show "Skating with the 'Stars'" to feature such luminaries as Todd Bridges and Dave Coulier figure skating. Where is your God now?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
EU attempts to blot out sun; passes law to cover barmaids' bosoms and construction workers' chests
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Supporters of tax hike raise $202,050. Of course, after the new local tax that's only $196,998.75. Then with income tax, that's $139,869.11. Throw in insurance, medicaid, property tax, wheel tax and gas taxes: $117,938.79. We need a new tax
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Love is the most popular reason to have sex, according to thousands of high school virgins
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scientists develop Alzheimer's early-warning test. You meant to submit this yesterday with a funnier headline, you think
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NOLA.com)
 
 
 
Today's "Woman with 40 cats" story comes from -- you guessed it, New Orleans -- and she's not leaving without them
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
duke StUdents truCK it to new orleanS to help with evacuations. (In other news, not one student from any other university is helping out, the bastards!)
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contact Music)
 
 
 
In what is apparently a blatant attempt to keep viewers away, William Shatner and Donald Trump among others to sing at this year's Emmy Awards
source: contactmusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
NASA's Deep Impact mission reveals that Comet Tempel 1 is fragile and empty inside, and is also busy crying in the bathroom
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Boris Yeltsin breaks his leg while on a bender in Italy
source: ap.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Construction crews uncover Gold Rush-era ship in the middle of San Francisco
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Captain Obvious files his report: Hurricane Katrina to increase joblessness
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
NewScientist debunks product claims. Company changes claims to include quotes from NewScientist's debunking. Einstein spins in grave
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MarketWatch)
 
 
 
Fiat may hook up with DaimlerChrysler to create the perfect storm of crappy cars
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop a lunch box for today's elementary school kids
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greenville Online)
 
 
 
South Carolina's attorney general starts unfair practices investigation after oil prices failed to decrease after pipeline damaged by Katrina repaired
source: greenvilleonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Drunk woman dies while peeing on a grave
source: today.reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Landscaper sought on fraud charges after pulling the old "my baby ate your check" scam
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(sify.com)
 
 
 
Cletus Federline wants to name his baby Vegas, because it's his favorite place to hang out
source: sify.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Refugees from Katrina turn down free Cape Cod vacation after rumors spread that Ted Kennedy would be driving the shuttle bus
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Turkmenistan's president has ordered 300 penguins to go with the ice palace he ordered built last year, on which construction has been delayed largely in part to Turkmenistan being in the middle of the desert
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"We already knew that Yahoo collaborates enthusiastically with the Chinese regime in questions of censorship, and now we know it is a Chinese police informant as well"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Thieves in Sweden steal 25 kilos of dynamite. Police are on the lookout for a singing nun and seven children and warn that it could be a Von Trapp
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Congratulations to Tropical Depression 16 on being promoted to Tropical Storm Ophelia
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ICNetwork)
 
 
 
Morons steal washing machine, fail to make clean getaway trying to escape on foot
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
The Smoking Gun releases Jack Kerouac's military record, which goes a long way toward explaining why he didn't want to stay anywhere for long
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The moment soccer's Vinnie Jones squeezed Paul Gascoigne's balls is being made into a bronze statue
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Earlier thread)
 
 
 
Las Vegas Fark party: Saturday, September 10 at Champagnes, 8:00 or 9:00 p.m.? Dinner beforehand at Lotus of Siam?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Physics Web)
 
 
 
Scientists to use lasers to create fusion. Doc Ock files patent-infringement lawsuit
source: physicsweb.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Inmates win most of the gardening competitions at a Vermont fair
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Compounding one natural disaster with another, Michael Jackson plans to release a hurricane-related single
source: alertnet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Man, 99, looks to continue bowling after his birthday in three weeks, then remove pumpkins and apples from the grill of his car
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
MIT researchers record a bit of the Big Bang. Surprised to hear Keith Richards asking if he should "press this f*ckin button"
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Picayune)
 
 
 
Ant balls are not an urban myth, but you need a microscope to see them
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Theme: Rejected "The Price Is Right" pricing games
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Farker is going to his first "college party" on Saturday night and needs advice on how to be social outside of Fark. LGN
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Condiment-packet museum
source: clearfour.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Man survives 30-second 2000-volt shock after falling on wire. Maybe some amps also, but everybody knows those don't count for nothin'
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Canada considering switching to unmanned fighter aircraft. Somebody in the DOD musta just seen "Stealth"
source: ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Scientists recommend a diet of 100 grams of dark chocolate and 150 milliliters of red wine daily to add six years to your life
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Old 'n busted: Horse whisperer. New hotness: Mule charmer. Next hotness: Ass dazzler?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 06, 2005
(AP)
 
 
 
Young girl demonstrates what she learned on TV, captures an alligator just like she saw the Crocodile Hunter do
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Iran offers to give the USA a bunch of free oil as long as they can bring it in a big, wooden horse
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia (AP) -- Neil Armstrong said Tuesday that a human expedition to Mars won't happen for at least 20 years, but declined to reveal why he is speaking about Mars in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Police recruit with outstanding warrant takes part in fingerprinting exercise. Hilarity ensues
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Pierce Brosnan goes Sean Penn and pulls a Kanye West; now expects to get Dixie Chicks'ed at the box office and Swift Boated by the Bush Machine
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Everything's possible with a Hoveround." Photoshop someone in a Hoveround/scooter/wheelchair doing something unlikely
source: hoveround.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Burlington Free Press)
 
 
 
If lesbian Lisa marries Janet in Vermont while living in Virginia and has a baby and moves to Vermont and back to Virginia to renounce homosexuality and divorces in Vermont, does anyone read this tagline past the word "lesbian"?
source: burlingtonfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Police use cell phone left at the scene of a crime to call idiot suspects
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
Suge Knight released from the hospital after gunshot wound. Promises to get the motherfarker that did it, which means he might be popping another cap in his own ass
source: kevxml2a.infospace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Former ESPN reporter chooses "shoot me in the head" over "pound me in the ass"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Major oil pipeline on East Coast is now operating at 100 percent capacity, meaning oil companies will have to think of some creative new thing to blame for increasing prices
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Windsor, Ontario residents face $5000 fine if caught holding more than three garage sales per year
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man granted deferment from military service so he can compete in an international computer games competition
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
After completing rehab from successful headshrinking surgery, Barry Bonds to be activated off the DL as early as tonight
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Yet another media-created fad using anecdotal evidence: Typewriters are back
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Former Ben & Jerry's CFO pleads guilty to embezzlement, expects to receive continuous supply of Chubby Hubby from cellmate
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Prison contraband crackdown finds lamb chops, steaks and rice cookers in prisoners' cells
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsWatch50.com)
 
 
 
Gas prices are going down everywhere except where you live
source: newswatch50.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Education)
 
 
 
Torn from the front page of the Bangor Daily News: Parade of weiner dogs anticipated in Belfast
source: bangornews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAV)
 
 
 
The serial rapist plagueing Charlottesville may have been caught. Just in case, Tony the Tiger, Snap, Crackle and Pop still in hiding
source: charlottesvillenewsplex.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Bob Denver and John Denver now have two things in common. So long little buddy
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Armstrong comment that was serious, then a joke, now serious again
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Amazon)
 
 
 
With his 15 minutes almost up, 50 Cent (under the pseudonym J.E. Swearingen) is now reviewing deep fryers on Amazon.com
source: amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Web Watch)
 
 
 
Federal court strikes landmark blow against pirates, apparently unaware of pirates' important role in global climate regulation
source: networks.silicon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News24)
 
 
 
Fark's favorite all-round genius and submissive husband, Stephen Hawking, gets new blinky-talkie thingamybob
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Police blow up man's cannonball -- man wants them to buy him a new one
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Six-year-old boy found walking down road in Baton Rouge holding five-month-old, surrounded by five toddlers
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
Boobies
 
Boobies site donates 72 hours of proceeds to Katrina relief. Has a gal in a Fark shirt, too (NSFW -- would have been a sponsored link, but we're donating that to hurricane relief as well)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Murder and rape in New Orleans -- fact or fiction?
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Armstrong comeback comment just a joke
source: sportsillustrated.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asian Sex Gazette)
 
 
 
Russian MP produces porn video depicting Ukranian and Georgian leaders. Ex-Soviet bloc threatens to retaliate with gay porn depicting Putin (link fixed)
source: asiansexgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsnet 5)
 
 
 
Beaver statues given implants, go from B-cup to C-cup
source: newsnet5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cycling News)
 
 
 
Lance Armstrong may pursue eighth tour victory. "I'm thinking it's the best way to piss the French off"
source: cyclingnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Wales Evening Post)
 
 
 
Bush under fire again over Katrina, this time from the Vicar of Swansea. Who?
source: thisissouthwales.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Macon Telegraph)
 
 
 
Wesley Duke, recently signed by the Denver Broncos, was a star at Mercer University, where there is no football team. Duke sucks
source: macon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Neil Armstrong says a manned mission to Mars will be easier than his mission to the moon, which in his day was uphill both ways, through six feet of snow, barefoot
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today's photoshop secret ingredient: Something happy
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Today's "criminal leaves name tag at scene of crime" story brought to you by Albuquerque, NM
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Plans to move hurricane victims to cruise ships put on hold. Officials having trouble finding enough wacky bartenders and lovesick doctors
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
United States being invaded by great gray owls. Reportedly trying to find Number 4 Privet Drive
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
New Zealand MP just bids on whatever at the Rainbow Labour charity auction and winds up with a one-meter photograph of a penis. "I was getting a hard time"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jamaica Observer)
 
 
 
Britons told not to smile for passport photos -- facial recognition software identified 25 percent as Mr. Ed
source: jamaicaobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling to provide New Orleans family of nine with housing in Boston
source: ap.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Press Photo Assn.)
 
 
 
Cops beating up, stealing cameras of New Orleans photojournalists who take unfavorable pictures
source: nppa.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asian Sex Gazette)
 
 
 
From the country that brings us soiled-panty vending machines: Porn vending machines
source: asiansexgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Something Awful)
 
 
 
Something Awful forced to refund the $27,695.41 raised for Red Cross. No word on why Paypal hates America
source: somethingawful.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Astronomy Nut)
 
 
 
Saturn's rings changing
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Train engineer participates in Take Your Daughters to Work Day and lets them drive the train. What could possibly go wrong?
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Scanners help determine what pleases women besides having their heads strapped down in a noisy machine
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
University of Central Florida offers video-game grad program. No word whether the course will be offered at the University of Your Parents Basement
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this scientific demonstration
source: onlypeople.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Democrat Gazette)
 
 
 
Family wins third world record for watermelon weighing 268.8 pounds
source: nwanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Parasitic worms discovered to brainwash their victims into committing suicide by throwing themselves into water. Sobbing Chekov tells Kirk the captain was strong
source: news.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ozy)
 
 
 
Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow engaged. Sheryl having a ball planning for the wedding
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Poughkeepsie Journal)
 
 
 
Guys mix parts of a 1957 DeSoto, a 1958 Lincoln, other front-end body parts and a 1998 Mercury Marquis. Create the 2005 Fugly
source: poughkeepsiejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Two amateur documentary makers infiltrate the UFO cloning sect, the Raelians
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Future cars will have seats that vibrate when the driver is following too closely. So get used to women drivers tailgating you
source: go.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Mexican dwarf bullfighters use traditional techniques along with the aid of "squeezy plastic hammers" to delight the public, supplement earnings from chocolate factory
source: signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 05, 2005
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
Man blasts thousands of $2 bills into sky above crowded beach. Overheard saying "Katrina who?"
source: sptimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
White cat goes out for a weekend on the town, returns home pink (with pics)
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
"All over the place there are groups of people getting together who just want to get their backsides flayed"
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Robin Williams in a Groucho moustache and fright wig warns of taking stem cell research too seriously
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SignsOfLight)
 
 
 
All the Mississippi River needs is millions of mushrooms
source: resurgence.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dog taking an awesome plunge
source: outdoortexascamp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Link goes nowhere)
 
 
 
AudioEdit a radio commercial for an upcoming event this SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ship Of Fools)
 
 
 
Jesus walks into a hotel with a box of nails and says "Can you put me up for the night?" The 10 most offensive religious jokes ever. Bonus: The 10 funniest. Revrunt Pat wants you on his hit list.
source: ship-of-fools.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPVI)
 
 
 
Woman's missing gargoyle reappears with $20 and pictures of him on vacation around the country
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Roberts to be nominated as Chief Justice of Supreme Court
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Four-year-old girl shopping in researcher's pretend accessory shop for Barbie dolls: "I need this for my man. A man needs cigarettes."
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Have a question about how Fark works? Read the comments (click the number on the right) and feel free to email in a question
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Homestar Runner)
 
 
 
That sounds like everything I want to be a part of.
source: homestarrunner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC6 Pocatello)
 
 
 
Fire crew clearing brush accidentally sparks 100-acre blaze. Excess brush no longer a problem
source: kpvi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Aussie surfer has close shave with great white shark. No news on jellyfish eau de cologne
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mosnews)
 
 
 
Russian mman is so drunk he sleeps through train running over him
source: mosnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(How Stuff Works)
 
 
 
How Supreme Court Appointments Work
source: people.howstuffworks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MaineToday.com)
 
 
 
Lobster farming in Maine. How do you milk a lobster?
source: morningsentinel.mainetoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly Burbs)
 
 
 
Locking gas cap is the latest 'must-have' accessory for your car
source: phillyburbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bristol Evening Post)
 
 
 
Bank says we don't want your coins
source: thisisbristol.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nightmare on Shrek St)
 
 
 
Theme: Combine any childrens movie with any horror movie
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Grandmothers decide that they will end the fashion of hoodie swearshirts and baseball caps by wearing it themselves, making it uncool by default
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Police believe that the driver involved in a minor crash may have been distracted by something. Specifically, by the nearly-naked drunk woman in his car
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Western Daily Press)
 
 
 
Buy a new home, get a free pig
source: westpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Burlington)
 
 
 
Police arrest domestic disturbance suspect after he emerged from the garage wearing a gas mask, removed his shirt, and whipped out a 12-inch sword from his pants
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jerusalem Post)
 
 
 
Having addressed all other incidents of racial discrimination, NGO asks Chinese to use less biased characters to represent "Jewish people"
source: jpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
Zoo decides to display spider monkeys along with the world's largest rodents together in the same enclosure - What could possibly go wrong?
source: mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Evening Herald)
 
 
 
Banned drink driver nabbed after driving toy pike past cops
source: thisisplymouth.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Electric New Paper)
 
 
 
Plastic surgeon who specializes in weener enlargement is surprised by the sudden request by patients who want to make their manhood "ugly"
source: newpaper.asia1.com.sg   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Homestar Runner)
 
 
 
Happy Labor Day to all you Farkers loafing around at home! Labor Day is the day we celebrate the proud profession of obstetrician, or something. Here's a link to the H*R Labor Dabor
source: homestarrunner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
Sean Penn goes to New Orleans with boat, rescues locals, gives them cash
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
As onlooker mocks him, Sean Penn makes desperate effort to rescue his career, I mean hurricane victims. With pic of him bailing his sinking boat with a Dixie cup
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Hitler planned to attack Britain from within by using exploding chocolates, was touting them as 'wafer-thin'
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Robots in unexpected places. Link goes to GIS
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man hands bank teller note reading "This man has a gun and he wants my money," is surprised when police arrest him, and not his gun-toting ex-landlord, to whom the note referred, for bank robbery
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Man decides to ride his horse to work after gas hits $3.00 / gallon
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
List of the funniest jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Winner lands on his face in the "World Belly Flop Championships"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Classic)
 
 
 
Telemarketing counter-script
source: xs4all.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
New parking meter technology automatically resets time remaining to zero when car pulls away from curb
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Sun News)
 
 
 
Forbes predicts oil bubble to burst, sending prices down to $25-$35 a barrel
source: heraldsun.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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