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Sun May 15, 2005
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
If your orchestra is missing a genius who can draw the Swedish flag, play piano concertos for hours and is in his twenties or thirties, Kent Police would like to talk to you (with pic)
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Man, overcome with guilt after years of not paying for train fare, sends check for over $1000 to London officials
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Your tax dollars at work: High school coach caught giving oral to county worker in city park used for class field trips (with mug shot goodness)
source: badjocks.com%23coachoral   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Complaints force radio station to paint "straps" onto bare womens' backs
source: fm99.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
British lawmaker argues that people with court-ordered community service need to wear chain gang-style uniforms
source: today.reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Newsweek now says the whole Koran desecration thingy just didn't happen. And they are sorry
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Counterpunch)
 
 
 
A chronology of U.S. war crimes and torture, 1975-2005
source: counterpunch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop orange Toronto
source: wvs.topleftpixel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UGO)
 
 
 
I'll see your Uhura and raise you a Troi: A tribute to the girls of Star Trek...
source: ugo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asbury Park Press)
 
 
 
You know you've pissed off the judge when he states the only way he could make his order clearer is if he cut a vein and wrote it in blood
source: app.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fort Wayne.com)
 
 
 
Steroids suspected as high school produce class after class of gifted, small-testicled athletes
source: fortwayne.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LUG)
 
 
 
Students paint huge Firefox logo on Oregon sidewalk using only water, Kool-Aid and cornstarch. In other news, police are on the lookout for a seven-foot-tall red pitcher
source: lug.oregonstate.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Its easy to get busted for smuggling 1000 kg of tobacco if your van rides so low it almost scrapes the concrete. Even if your cohort is a customs officer
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A cook at a Paris children's hospital was killed in a sword attack on Saturday evening by a man he met on the Internet. Police say he's not crazy, he just hates the French
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
College student killed in bike accident donates organs to five different people
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Bike polo: A popular alternative sport and one more way for aging athletes to put themselves at risk of injury
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Chapelle wasn't on drugs, at a psych ward or stealing food. He has just been keeping his shoes clean in Africa
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Headmaster sends unruly pupils to "the cooler." Still not as effective as a trip to the tossed-salad man
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
And now for something completely different: Man begs for UFO to take him
source: heraldsun.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
The next time your significant other wants to manipulate you to see the opera, you can counter with this play that involves masked Mexican wrestlers, buxom strippers and people on fuzzy pogo sticks
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bottle in the grass
source: wvs.topleftpixel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Japanese perfect the art of robotic vampires. Your Aibo wants your blood
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
How to swear in Japanese
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Fifth-grade teacher dismayed to discover that her effective method of keeping students quiet it actually not sanctioned by the school
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
Grand opening of new mail facility delayed after high-tech package scanner detects sauerkraut. What could be wurst?
source: estripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(World Net Daily!)
 
 
 
Commercial featuring a thong-bikini-clad Paris Hilton washing a car "couldn't be more pornographic" an industry source claims. Said industry source apparently not familiar with Hilton's earlier works
source: worldnetdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Alien wasp that likes to knock down pine trees found in New York
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Death-row inmate, 12 days from execution, wants to donate his liver to his dying sister
source: fortwayne.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Players of role-playing murder mystery game agree to reenact game in real-life
source: ap.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Photoshop President Bush having umbrella trouble
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man supposedly caught cheating with Cameron Diaz responds to the press coverage on his weblog. He's a friend of Wil, too
source: hollywoodlog.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Petition Online)
 
 
 
Online movement seeking shutdown of the Internet rapidly gaining support
source: petitiononline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(In Forum)
 
 
 
Japanese man wigs out on plane after finding single strand of hair on his blanket
source: in-forum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Rome's top police officer laments lack of red-light district, suggests creating one immediately
source: ap.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Farker's brother found in Ukiah. Behold the power of Fark. Link goes to original thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(softpedia)
 
 
 
IBM sides with Firefox. Separatist movement gains momentum against The Empire
source: news.softpedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Female First)
 
 
 
Former member of Spice Girls talks about her huge sex toy collection and how she makes men wait months before giving them what they really really want
source: femalefirst.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
In a rebuttal film to "Super Size Me," some farker plans to film a documentary of himself eating nothing but fast food and losing weight
source: superslimme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dailytimes.com)
 
 
 
Two boys playing hide-and-seek found hiding under bed after grandmother enlists the help of a helicopter, dozens of searchers, military planes and a few K-9 units
source: dailytimes.com.pk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Your mom's right about the clean underwear thing. For that matter, you probably shouldn't keep your crack in there, either
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Evening Times)
 
 
 
Prudes protest nude portrait in gallery window. Apparently, Scotland is the last hole on the bible belt
source: eveningtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 14, 2005
(X-Entertainment)
 
 
 
Purplesaurus Rex Kool-Aid: The grape/lemonade nectar of the gods that made many childhoods worth living...
source: x-entertainment.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Stand and deliver: Landlord attempts to collect overdue rent at swordpoint
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Crack dealer hobnobber and child abuser coddler squares off against scandalous corruptor for mayor of L.A.
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Commercial)
 
 
 
Woman opens her morning newspaper and is surprised to find out she is in critical condition at the local hospital due to a car crash
source: 209.41.184.21   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Drudge)
 
 
 
Dave Chapelle comes out of hiding and speaks from South Africa
source: drudgereport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Winston-Salem Journal)
 
 
 
Hooker expects up to seven percent drop in business due to wood shortage
source: journalnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ouch)
 
 
 
Photoshop alternate ways to pull teef out. Difficulty: No door and string
source: indien-netzwerk.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AVN)
 
 
 
New bill in Ohio says that women who use tampons are engaged in "sexual conduct"
source: avn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Hospital)
 
 
 
In honor of Final Fantasy, couple names their child "Sephiroth"
source: harrisonhospital.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Nuclear batteries being developed for home use, can last more than a decade. Energizer Bunny surrenders
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Sun)
 
 
 
Breaker One-Nine, this here's Rubber Duck. Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a Baby Convoy
source: heraldsun.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCTV)
 
 
 
Runaway bride turns into a marketing bonanza
source: kctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Lucas Guy)
 
 
 
Remember how hot Princess Leia looked in her slave outfit on Jabba's barge? Wouldn't it be great if you could dress up your dog like that? (pic)
source: shop.starwars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
The only thing between you and seeing boobies on a North Carolina beach is 88-year-old Mildred Wilson
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(mweb)
 
 
 
Firemen mistake unconscious snake for hose
source: new.mweb.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Underwater quake, measuring 6.9, rocks the island of Sumatra. No tsunami expected
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Elle MacPherson is in favour of breastfeeding. Unfortunately, only with babies
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOLD)
 
 
 
Tons of free furniture available on I-10, slightly charred
source: kold.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FunReports)
 
 
 
Spooooooooooooooooooooon...
source: funreports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phuket Gazette)
 
 
 
Death by coconut
source: phuketgazette.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sciencedaily)
 
 
 
Aerodynamic secrets of flying snakes. In case, you know, we ever need to convert existing ground-based snakes into long-range, air-launched attack snakes
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCCO)
 
 
 
Drunk man steals Krispy Kreme truck. City's entire fleet of police cars reportedly involved in pursuit
source: wcco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Theme: One man's junk is another's treasure
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Nightclub church service offers live rock music, flip-flops and nose piercings
source: signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News and Star)
 
 
 
Chef runs amok with a knife in the street, faces affray charge. Punishment attenuated by crazy, Italian chef cliché
source: newsandstar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contact Music)
 
 
 
Billy Crystal turns against audience, tells them to shove their cell phones up their asses
source: contactmusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The Rockies suck and fans can't deal. Welcome to baseball, Denver
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
United Airline stewardesses strip to protest loss of pensions (with SFW pics)
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LGN)
 
 
 
Theme: Pimp-out something that doesn't require pimping
source: google.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(dailynorthwestern)
 
 
 
"As my father used to tell me, good citizenship begins with nipple sucking"
source: dailynorthwestern.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1010WINS)
 
 
 
Stagecoach hit-and-run looses wild horses into NY traffic
source: 1010wins.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Dylan's hometown to name street after him. 4th Street is Positively out of the question
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
((Grocery)
 
 
 
Princess Lettuce: "Help me Obi-Wan Cannoli, you're my only hope against Dark Tater"
source: storewars.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Fence from grassy knoll up for auction, includes graffiti such as "Oswald Was Framed" and "Oliver Stone has sucked since Platoon"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 13, 2005
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Woman bites thief. "The man arrived with his right testicle dead and hanging by a thread... there was nothing to do but cut it off"
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Milwaukee Metropolitan Sewerage District spokesman says they are fairly confident a majority of condoms are now being caught before they can reach Lake Michigan
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some College Guy)
 
 
 
Cheap beer, malt liquor, bottom-shelf vodka: Create an advertisement glamorizing poor-quality alcohol. Difficulty: No Miller Light
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(mcdowellnews)
 
 
 
Robbery suspect gets beer, cigarettes, IDed by clerk who knows his full name
source: mcdowellnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Govt record)
 
 
 
Kentucky legislator introduces bill to make fertilizing more than one egg a felony. Knocking up cousin Betty Sue with twins gets more dangerous
source: lrc.ky.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLB.com)
 
 
 
Chicago Cubs playing in D.C. for the first time since 1899. Surprisingly, have won two World Series since then. Meanwhile, "Nats" still suck and there's no tradition
source: chicago.cubs.mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Like Gretzky, John Paul II may have typical five-year waiting period waived for Hall of Fame entry
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Georgia judges packing heat after Atlanta shooting. "Do you understand the charges against you? Well do you, punk?"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Utah Jazz re-hires Jerry Sloan to coach their 26-56 team after realizing that nobody else wants to coach a terrible NBA team in Utah
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Dear Penthouse Forum: I never thought these letters were real until I had an experience recently -- I was out jogging in Duluth, thinking of my upcoming wedding, when suddenly...
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I-Mockery)
 
 
 
iMockery comes up with some decent iPod ad spoofs
source: i-mockery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News24)
 
 
 
Frenchman shows his disgust at proposed European Constitution by jumping on a table during parliamentary proceedings and waggling his buttocks at it
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
If you're an NBA owner looking for a guy to foul out in under 10 minutes, you now have your chance: Shavlik Randolph eligible for NBA draft. Duke sucks
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
"The mouse looked like it was browned or grilled or something." $17.5 million lawsuitalarity ensues
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLBZ)
 
 
 
Big rig smashes into bridge guardrail, leaving cab dangling 60 feet above river, which obviously catches fire. Driver leaps to water below, swims to nearby island, asks for a beer
source: wlbz2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FunReports)
 
 
 
Police officer fines driver for his resemblance to Bush
source: funreports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The FCC fined CBS millions for inadverdently showing Janet J's boobie. Yesterday, several stations broadcast a man shot to death by the police, live. How much will the FCC fine that station? Submitter predicts $0. What say you?
source: tinyurl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
TV show demonstrates how cat can survive when thrown off a four-story building
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Today's animal hoarding horror, including unique Great Dane-carcass-in-a-freezer twist, brought to you by the former mayor of Beverly Hills
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Wendy's Chili Finger apparently belonged to co-worker of accuser's husband
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News-Press)
 
 
 
Construction crew leaves the keys in their heavy equipment at the end of work day. Deathilarity ensues
source: news-press.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Drudge)
 
 
 
Martin Bashir told Jacko he was "looking so sexy" that women would throw their pants at their TVs
source: drudgereport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
Uranus still needs a good probing but we may have busted Saturn's nut
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
German senator resigns after dousing homeless man with wine
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fourth annual Cedar Point Fark Party this Sunday. Meet at TGIFridays outside the park Saturday at 8:00 p.m., and Johnny Rockets inside the park Sunday at noon
source: bit0.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Tiny weeners. New hotness: Liquid injected penises
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Australians invent wine in a can, export it to Japan. Taste test shows Japanese can't tell the difference between canned wine and a dead crab
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this empty bus
source: wvs.topleftpixel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
How well do you know "Caddyshack"? Find out with this quiz
source: jaguars.jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Saudi Arabia outraged at Koran desecration. Still apathetic about terrorism, Iraq beheadings
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Twelve-year-old Maryland girl has not aged since she was 12 months old
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Hawaii evicts woman living in lava tube
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Scientists and engineers get together to send a unified message: "Send more women"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Northern Colorado Fark Party, May 27th at Red Feather Lakes. Drew's helping a friend celebrate the grand opening of his restaurant, come join us
source: rfhighcountry.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Pentagon releases proposed BRAC list. Here come the closures
source: defenselink.mil   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Today you may experience Paraskevidekatriaphobia, the Fear of Friday the 13th. Here comes the science
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(news.gc.ca)
 
 
 
Canadian government warning: "Undeclared nuts in cock"
source: news.gc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
CT Fark Party, Saturday, May 14, 8:00 PM at Action Sports Bar, 3352 Whitney Ave. in Hamden. Come party with us. You know you want to. Your dog wants more beer
source: fark.meetup.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
World's first bionic arm being fitted to netballing hairdresser. Not quite sure what this means for Sasquatch
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Philly burbs Fark party, 5/21 at 8:00 p.m.
source: mapquest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pillar-lined path
source: wvs.topleftpixel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Death-row inmate tries to hasten punishment. Strangely, people think this is a bad idea
source: breakingnews.nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Border Patrol is ordered to stand down, not arrest aliens crossing the border where the Minutemen patrolled in an effort to downplay their effectiveness
source: washtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Idea Guys)
 
 
 
From the people who brought you Space Penguin, it's Doom Funnel Chasers
source: bigideafun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1010WINS)
 
 
 
Lightning strike causes Iowa town to smell like rotten egg fart
source: customwire.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Court says talking penis on TV is indecent
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Kentucky congressman wants to get his hands on fake penis. If he shakes it more than three times, he's playing with it
source: badjocks.com%23fakepenis   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Seven jobs for opinionated people. Warning: No actual jobs
source: msn.careerbuilder.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 12, 2005
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Hundreds of Darth Vaders and imperial troops will invade a Paris boulevard on Friday. France surrenders
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LGN)
 
 
 
Theme: Recreate a popular song using only instruments that a caveman would use
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Man makes date with Internet girl, invites her to his house. Girl asks if he likes bondage. Hilarity ensues
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Republican takes a knee for Nancy Pelosi
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Demi Moore says Ashton Kutcher pulls the trigger a little too quick in the sack. "Obvious" tag trumps "Amusing"
source: sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tuscaloosa News)
 
 
 
Officer showing high school student his safety gun holster dismayed when student discovers that the trigger could still be successfully pulled
source: tuscaloosanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Californian)
 
 
 
The Boss threatens to kill audience members whose cell phones ring with a chainsaw
source: dailycal.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Embarrassed Gal)
 
Boobies
 
Replacement boobies (not safe for work)
source: elgalleries.com
 
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
Mistranslation of news article on foreign currency sparks mass panic among investors and trading firms
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel 4)
 
 
 
Do you gravitate towards the light or the dark side of The Force? Take the quiz and find out
source: channel4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cedartown Standard)
 
 
 
Man accidentally shoots himself three times while cleaning gun
source: news.mywebpal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Pool)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flying kid and his friend
source: unioncrossmoravian.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oscar Meyer)
 
Weeners
 
Dog gone: Thieves steal 12-foot hot-dog sign from restaurant. Police relish opportunity to ketchup with those responsible
source: heraldonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Boston in jeopardy of losing journalists' conference due to 1675 law requiring all Native Americans entering the city to be arrested
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News-Record)
 
 
 
Subway calls stamp-licking "antiquated," plans to do away with free sub promotion
source: news-record.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Woman sues ex-husband -- and wins -- for not telling her he was impotent
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Teenager hacks mayor's and police officers' voicemails, says "All your base" in Darth Vader voice
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWMT)
 
 
 
Teacher told her services were no longer required after the school found out she was four months pregnant and only married for two months
source: wwmt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1010WINS)
 
 
 
Not to be outdone by California, landslide takes out highway in New York
source: 1010wins.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Man extolls the virtues of Dumpster diving. "I have steak sauce to last 100 years. It never goes bad"
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dean's Planet)
 
Boobies
 
Goddess of the Victoria Secret's catalog, Adriana Lima, falls out of her top during a photo shoot (not safe for work)
source: deansplanet.com
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Government takes away "FAR CUE" license plate. Fark University has no chance
source: ntnews.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
English teen, addicted to sunbeds, labelled a "tanorexic." Could use a sammich, too (with photo)
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Smokers boycott major charities, including the American Cancer Society and American Lung Association
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Couple asked by state to remove their grapefruit tree. Couple claims formal immunity for the tree, pursuant to provisions of the Geneva Convention
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Eighteen percent of Florida seniors fail FCAT, state's graduation exam. Administrators consider renaming it the Florida Universal Comprehension Test
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
John Cleese writing next claymation film with Nick Park (Wallace & Gromit); will explain why the Brits and French hate each other
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sify)
 
 
 
Bengal tiger cubs breastfed by Malaysian woman die of dehydration
source: sify.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Five buffalo escape meat-packing plant, begin grazing in adjacent field. Police arrive, pump 120 rounds into buffalo, houses, cars
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Malcolm Glazer launches takeover of Manchester United
source: business.timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
In retrospect, kicking the officer in the testicles was probably not the right way to respond to being pulled over for a minor traffic violation
source: thecouriermail.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
New rules for Australian pro rugby allow you to intentially punch opponent in groin, say you're sorry, go back and do it again
source: badjocks.com%23punchtogroin   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this manhole cover, bench and bird
source: wvs.topleftpixel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"Happy slapping," a new craze in the UK involving teenage kids beating up random strangers and filming the attacks on their phones. Solution? Ban baseball caps and blame MTV
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(www.wthr.com)
 
 
 
Worker parks GMC pickup in Chrysler-only parking lot. Car towed, but towtruck service waives tow fee, refuses to tow any more
source: wthr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Press-Telegram)
 
 
 
Bikini-clad realtor's billboard emphasizes her assets and huge... tracts of land, looks to get a rise out of a stiffening market
source: presstelegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Wisconsin boy suspended after wearing dress to prom, dancing in sexually provocative manner
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Newlyweds sue hotel after traditional "tease the newlyweds" celebration leads to broken arm
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC5)
 
 
 
Residents of Henderson, NC disturbed to find a new 17-foot statue that features a woman's legs spread eagle on Welcome Avenue (with pic)
source: nbc5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Darwin Awards)
 
 
 
Theme: Darwinism at its best
source: darwinawards.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Paralympics)
 
 
 
BWI to be renamed "Thurgood Marshall," to raise respect for the airport along with current major tenants Hooters Air, Airtran and Southwest
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Man sends 182,689 text messages a month. Sends messages about as often as he thinks about sex, can crush walnuts with his fingers
source: news.com.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Dave Chappelle checks into South African mental health facility due to people yelling "I'm Rick James, bitch!" at him all day
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKYT)
 
 
 
911 tapes released detailing call made about drunken Kentucky man riding a horse, which apparently is a vehicle according to state law
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1010WINS)
 
 
 
Senator's stolen fiberglass cow held for ransom, returned after Senator refuses to comply with demand for "a large box of Jujyfruits"
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Students complain about how the new dress code effectively bans most of their wardrobe (pics)
source: thepittsburghchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(mediabistro.com)
 
 
 
Dennis Miller's CNBC show cancelled. Which kinda sucks since Drew was slated to go on the show in June. Insert inappropriate faux-intellectual obscure reference here
source: mediabistro.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Richard and Robert Sherman are the authors of the most-played song on Earth, and would like to apologize to some of you for that
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Pope Benedict XVI digs beer so much that he's having a German brewhäus ship 185 gallons of it to him. It's good to be the pope
source: wtlv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 11, 2005
(China View)
 
Boobies
 
How many luring postures can you imagine? (SFW)
 
(Manila Times)
 
 
 
Proof of Fermat's last theorem found to be wrong -- 368 years and still going strong
source: manilatimes.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC via sploid)
 
 
 
Washington Times cartoonist depicts Pakistan as the U.S.'s dog. Pakistan flips out
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
County Republican chairman sues over smear letter claiming he's been married six times. The correct number, he says, is five
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Squid)
 
 
 
What's long and hard and ready to photoshop? (SFW)
source: navy.mil   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
NY Times slants coverage of tax reform, gets busted by bloggers. Maybe
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB)
 
 
 
Driver determines dump truck is safe to drive even though it's stuck in the "up" position. Hilarity ensues
source: thebostonchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCCO)
 
 
 
Seventy-year-old woman falls off balcony, drops nine stories, lands on canopy, gets up, yells "TA DA!"
source: wcco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Northern California Farkers: Fellow farker needs help in finding his kid brother. LGN, DIT
source: maps.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Women pregnant with boys less forgetful than those carrying...
source: alertnet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
CSI SFX artist quits show, starts making ultrarealistic prosthetics for wounded soldiers
source: nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Fleeing car thief offers day-care attendant $2,000 to hide at center
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 2 Chicago)
 
 
 
Street vendor gets mad after boy questions price of ice cream. Does sensible thing, punches him in the face
source: cbs2chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPVI.com)
 
 
 
Procrastinators Club of America has new presidents: Couple still hasn't come up with a name for their 18-month-old daughter
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Florida hurricane evacuations boosted Alabama's tourism revenue by $240 million, enough to buy every man, woman and child in the state five 18-packs of Miller Lite
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ICNetwork)
 
 
 
Newcastle Brown Ale may lose its name in EU legal battle
source: icnewcastle.icnetwork.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
VideoEdit
 
Theme: Car dealership ads for a new generation. Due June 3rd
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Your car is safe from computer viruses. Toasters, rubber ducky, trees also unaffected
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Real Spoilers R Boring)
 
 
 
Make up your own more interesting "Revenge of the Sith" spoilers
source: supershadow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Schneier)
 
 
 
"Papers, please." Federal driver's licenses pass 100-0
source: schneier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsfilter.org)
 
Boobies
 
Hollywood's latest Latin hottie, Rosario Dawson (NSFW)
source: newsfilter.org
 
(Stereogum)
 
 
 
Sammich alert goes out for Lindsay Lohan. (With sad, sad SFW pic)
source: stereogum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
New flat-iron steak increasing in popularity among restaurants, conoisseurs, your dog
source: kevxml2a.infospace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Fortune cookies live up to their name as lucky numbers generate enough Powerball winners to launch a serious investigation. In other news, your local Chinese takeout has just been shut down for health-code violations
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Donkeys get lunch break as part of "employment rights." Your mule wants a siesta
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
"All clear" follows brief evacuation of Capitol and White House
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
NewsFlash
 
Capitol Building, White House evacuated
source: dailynews.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Don't make a car with vanity plates your getaway vehicle
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ablogistan)
 
 
 
Media's obsession with missing, attractive white women is asinine
source: ablogistan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
PETA to send protester dressed as a bear to follow the queen around gun-slinging rural Alberta. What could possibly go wrong?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Anna Nicole Smith gets drunk, high and makes an ass of herself in Hollywood club. World gasps in shock, didn't expect that one. (with pic)
source: roadrunnerrecords.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wwmt.com)
 
 
 
Michigan passes anti-drive-by-porn legislation
source: wwmt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
Giambi not (intentionally) going to Columbus. "I'll be here unless something happens"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Eagles won't renegotiate Terrell Owens' contract. Gigantic cloud of sulk sighted coming in over Penn's Landing
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocky Mountain News)
 
 
 
People skipping work to go see "Revenge of the Sith" costs employers $627 million, according to Department of Made-Up Statistics Pulled out of My Ass
source: rockymountainnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
"Sea of beer" shuts down major Canadian Highway
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Slave cabin discovered in Maryland. Developer plans to restore it and surround it with million-dollar homes
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: A rose, a hose and a nose
source: weareacamera.ilovegames.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Vikings running back caught with "Whizzinator" kit for foiling drug tests. Tells police it's for cousin
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocky Mountain News)
 
 
 
Police rounding up pit bulls in Denver and taking them to be killed, per new law that outlaws the breed
source: rockymountainnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Despite 20 horses in the race and George Steinbrenner in attendance, Tara Reid turns out to be the biggest horse's ass at the Kentucky Derby
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Seven-foot eight-inch, 360-pound Chinese man could be high NBA draft pick this summer
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GM News)
 
 
 
Police trying to determine who, why, how the hell someone set a defenseless Port-a-Potty on fire
source: ws.gmnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Woman claims it rained shrimp; fires up the barbie and gets cocktail sauce
source: signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Steroids don't matter if you can't hit the ball: Yankees consider demoting Jason Giambi to minors
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Gas-station owner bans customers after they complained about sex shop he opened in the garage
source: sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wlbz2.com)
 
 
 
Moxie, the distinctively flavored soda that's bottled in New Hampshire, to be Maine's official soft drink
source: wlbz2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Man enters electronics store, stuffs LCD TV under jacket, attempts to leave. When stopped, man explains he has to take TV or someone will kill his mother
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
At the Canadian Air Guitar Championships, faux players ignore the crowd and shun the MC as they carefully adjust the pretend knobs on the pretend amps and tune their pretend guitars
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Stevie Wonder release video for the blind. Not to be outdone, Marcel Marceau releases audiobook for mimes
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Stray dog saves abandoned newborn baby, carries it across busy road, through barbed wire fence. Found nestling in shed with puppies
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MTV)
 
 
 
Egyptians dig up Keith Richards, allow for one more Stones tour
source: mtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Morgan Freeman wins control of domain with his name in it; figured he'd better get busy bloggin' or get busy dyin'
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Riding on last week's success of curing the last disease known to man, Japanese scientists seek out best way to skip a stone
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GIS)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: How to make bingo more exciting
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 10, 2005
(Some Guy)
 
Boobies
 
Two pairs of beauties on one beautiful girl. Not safe for work
source: amables.com
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
War College to be closed. Apparently, War High School diploma is good enough
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ICNetwork)
 
 
 
The score is one to naught in the age-old rivalry between chainsaw-wielding motorist and Welsh speeding camera
source: icnorthwales.icnetwork.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-TV)
 
 
 
Pink flamingo yard ornaments are returned. Candy bar ransom apparently didn't work
source: kirotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(via Wonkette)
 
 
 
God hates AT&T
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ZUG)
 
 
 
Mapquest has unreliable maps, but their phone support makes up for it: "Sir, you cannot leave your child in a bad neighborhood like that." ZUG: "I know. I panicked. This is all MapQuest's fault"
source: zug.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Finger-in-chili woman has cheering section at arraignment
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Bush goes to Georgia and praises democracy. Confuses crowd when he promises to dispatch Charlie Daniels anytime the Devil shows up in their country
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
WAKA WAKA WAKA: Pac Man turns 25, still paying alimony to former Mrs. Pac Man
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Oil jumps above $53 on news of power outage at U.S. refinery. CEO of ConocoPhilips last seen running from scene with wire cutters
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
President Bush, grenade fail to make impact in Georgia
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kentucky.com)
 
 
 
Man blows .244 on the breathalyzer, gets arrested for drunk driving. On a horse
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Have you hugged a TotalFarker today? Come see how cool TotalFark can be for a mere $5
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age)
 
 
 
Bored teenager forces open shipping container, is buried under an avalanche of peas. Cries of "peas, help me" alerts authorities
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(This Is London)
 
 
 
Doctor tells patient with gallstones that she is a "big woman with big bosoms," then gives them a jiggle. Hilarity ensues
source: thisislondon.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wisconsin Ag Connection)
 
 
 
Never mind the price of oil: The price of bacon has jumped $0.17 since March
source: wisconsinagconnection.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hometown Annapolis)
 
 
 
Man writes bad check for bar tab. Bar puts mans name on sign out front. Man with same name doesnt find it funny. Hilarity ensues
source: hometownannapolis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU)
 
 
 
FedEx cargo plane air-delivers Pratt & Whitney jet engine parts to Danville, CA neighborhood, free of charge
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Groundbreaking survey reveals that older people are baffled by computer technology. Also concludes sky is blue
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discovery)
 
 
 
New research reveals humans are smarter lying down than standing up. Paris Hilton unavailable for comment
source: dsc.discovery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Woman pulls off trillion-to-one shot, hits second $1 million jackpot on same machine (with pic)
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Kevin James to get $500,000 per episode to be fat, have reasonably hot wife on TV
source: thehollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10)
 
 
 
TV weatherman who drove 200 miles to meet "14-year-old boy" for sex claims he was framed. Also, says squirt guns and condoms in his car were always there
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(N.W. AR Times)
 
 
 
Viewing kiddie pron will get you arrested in AR. Getting caught by your roomate will get your computer thrown down the stairs and a busted lip. Wearing a diaper in the process will get you posted on Fark, hundreds of radio interviews
source: nwanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
LeBron James dumps agent and replaces him with high school buddy named "Maverick," despite warnings from George Gervin and Jack Givens
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Greenpeace found guilty of not protecting itself from paperwork
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Having gone far too long without making a jackass out of himself, Tom Green decides to release a rap album
source: jam.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Someone's Foot)
 
 
 
Photoshop these bicyclists and disgruntled fan
source: cervelo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(QSR Magazine)
 
 
 
Wendy's gives out free Frosties nationwide this coming weekend as a thank you for not believing that stupid, lawsuit-crazy biatch. (Paraphrased how they wish they could say it)
source: qsrmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(woai)
 
 
 
Nickelodeon airs spot claiming Battle of the Alamo was fought so white farmers could keep their slaves
source: woai.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Kentucky Derby favorite owned by George Steinbrenner won't compete in next two races. Duke sucks
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Archaeologists discover 2000-year-old shoe in UK, proving Brian did not die on the cross as previously thought
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Relaxing whirlpool spa baths can make you sick due to the fecal matter that builds up. "I'll get in the tub, fill it up enough, turn the jets on and all this crap pours out of it"
source: channelcincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
MSNBC political commentator apologizes after getting duped into thinking that Arnold Schwarzenegger wanted to destroy the moon
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
Sandia engineers develop lightweight material that can handle 600-degree temps for extended periods. Applications include aircraft, drilling equipment, anti-chafe pants for Rosie O'Donnell
source: kevxml2a.infospace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Police chase ends when officers fire 95 shots into SUV. Driver was hospitalized with non-life-threatening injuries
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
German museum opens exhibition of flip books. Curiously, they all end with the stick man getting hit by the comet
source: start.earthlink.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Irish fisherman hooks a great Jamaican Splifferfish, with a street value of $513,000
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bertelsmann buys Columbia House for one penny, $400,000,000 for shipping/handling
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
As pesticides prove ineffective on marauding insects, government moves to rarely used "Actually, the bugs are quite delicious" strategy
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV)
 
 
 
Deputy sues Florida hospital after being injected with glitter
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
VideoEdit
 
VideoeEdit contest: Act out a Fark flamewar. Due May 20
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Rene Zellweger and Kenny Chesney get married. She thinks his tractor's sexy
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Europe's top court rules Greece has exclusive rights to call its cheese "feta"; also rules non-Greeks must pronounce gyro as "ji-ro"
source: reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Jackson may not testify at his trial in an effort to prevent jurors from laughing at him hysterically
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Consumer Reports magazine rates diet plans: "Weight Watchers" edges out Anna Nichole Smith's "Crystal Meth the Flab Away" plan for No. 1 spot
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
A year after the original ceremony was delayed while he faced domestic battery charges, James Brown unveils caped bronze statue of himself in Georgia, along with his former road manager the Rev. Al Sharpton. The Apocalypse is near
source: jam.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Detroit Pistons offering $450,000 luxury suites that are in the basement and have no view of the court
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SEMO)
 
 
 
Suspect in bank robbery caught in four minutes. Bank located between police and sheriff's departments
source: semissourian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UK Channel Five)
 
 
 
Ron Jeremy, Flavor Flav, Italian pr0n star Cicciolina and a small, green duck to star in TV reality show set on a farm
source: five.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
From the people who brought you the dog translator: A device to decipher babies' babbling. Your baby wants steak
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Press & Journal)
 
 
 
Only the Scottish executive would try to cut binge drinking amongst women by giving them T-shirts emblazoned with the slogan: "Mine's a Double"
source: thisisnorthscotland.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10)
 
 
 
Sixteen-year-old spring breaker falls in love with older man, takes up prostitution to support him. Ah, true love...
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today's Iron Photoshop ingredient: Wheels
source: weareacamera.ilovegames.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
In a case of mistaken identity, Al-Qaeda's No. 3 man turns out to be the night janitor instead
source: adnki.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Malaysian Star)
 
 
 
Man says he only broke his marital vows once, but it was for a "female extraterrestrial of unusually robust build"
source: thestar.com.my   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Extortionist claiming to have a vial of foot-and-mouth disease threatens New Zealand
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
New Lamborghini Murcielago Roadster goes so fast it causes a nosebleed
source: motoring.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Chicken crossing the road gets ticketed for jaywalking by California deputy. Answering the age old question...
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Gal)
 
Weeners
 
What you wish the guy on the other side of the monitor looked like (not safe for work)
 
(WTEV)
 
 
 
Last night's Heat-Wizards matchup was kicked off by Miami-Dade police department's bomb squad
source: wtev.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Rusty Wallace shows Tony Danza who the boss is at the annual "DayTony 500"
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(timesonline.uk)
 
 
 
Ava Gardner states that Frank Sinatra had "110 pounds of cock"
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Farker chakalakasp goes tornado chasing. With pics
source: storm2k.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these mysterious snowprints
source: weareacamera.ilovegames.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Studies show gay men get worked up over male pheromones. Women still need only two drinks to make out with each other
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Teacher about to lead students into discussion of whether abstract painting was meant to invoke a certain part of the male anatomy -- when her class was interrupted by the real thing
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Baseball seeing fewer home runs after steroid crackdown
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Protesters go topless during their protest about the safety of clothing
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBCSandiego.com)
 
 
 
Police find dad passed out in back of burning car driven by nine-year-old son
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Yellowstone rated "high" for eruption threat -- EVERYBODY PANIC
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 09, 2005
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Pam Anderson refuses to act in a scene with a chimp. Chimp retorts that at least he didn't act with Hasselhoff
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Macon Telegraph)
 
 
 
Q: How do you make soccer more interesting? A: Dog droids
source: macon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Police blame lazy slaughterhouse worker, not Satanists, for leaving severed goat heads in Canadian park. Park now full of hungry Norwegians
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Live Aid, fall of Berlin Wall ranked most memorable for Britons, followed closely by that one time the sun came out
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Pope John Paul II gets trading card, seven-figure deal with Yankees
source: sportsillustrated.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Student suspended for taking phone call from mom in Iraq allowed to return to classes
source: us.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(whtm)
 
 
 
Man, 32, conducts his own panty raid at a local college. Jailarity insues
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Accused geese-stomper free on bail; claims constitutional protection because he was performing a WWII reenactment
source: cbs4boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Angry citizens write in to give ideas on how to punish Runaway Bride. The Smoking Gun is there
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
We've all, um, "massaged" a work timesheet or two, but asking to be paid for working 28 hours a day is a finesse best left to lawyers and lobbyists
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(How Stuff Works)
 
 
 
Light sabers -- is there anything they can't do? Photoshop other uses for light sabers
source: howstuffworks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Time travelers fail to show up at MIT event designed to give a specific time/place for future citizens to return. No one considers possibility that time travelers have better things to do than hang out at MIT
source: web.mit.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Homestar Runner)
 
 
 
You traitor. You shot my favorite TV show
source: homestarrunner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
If you're interviewing for a job, don't arrive in pajamas or make a pass at the interviewer
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
Boobies
 
Where have all the boobies gone? Jill from AZ (not safe for work)
source: skidroche.com
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Friends honor man who drowned by holding belly-flop contest at local tavern
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Woman discovers police don't need a search warrant for dead bodies they can see lying in a pool of blood in the doorway. Jailarity ensues (link fixed)
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
"DrinkorDie" pirates go to jail. Johnny Depp surrenders
source: computerworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXAN News)
 
 
 
"The owner of the home says that he'll never forget the morning his family had to be evacuated when a naked stranger came stomping across his roof"
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delaware News Journal)
 
 
 
Student sues university after getting caught cheating on ethics test
source: delawareonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Man manages to lose $800,000-winning superfecta ticket for the Kentucky Derby. Found later where he left it
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arutz Sheva)
 
 
 
Israeli army accidentally fires artillery shell into Lebanon. Frantically searching for Hallmark card that apologizes for accidentally shelling a neighbor country
source: israelnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ICNetwork)
 
 
 
Sacked teacher tells tribunal Prince Harry's teachers did his homework for him
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Man walking on beach calls emergency crews after being unable to tell the difference between "severed penis with testicles" and "seaweed"
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
North Carolina woman fired for living in sin with boyfriend; turns out co-habitation is against state law
source: ap.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Step 1: Name your website after the title of the new Stars Wars flick. Step 2: Write a few fake chapters of a book which cleverly contain said title. Step 3: Profit
source: revengeofthesith.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
World's largest scavenger hunt wraps up at the University of Chicago. Winner drove 1,531 miles in a 58-hour sprint after finding, buying or doing all 283 items on the list
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Anti-abortion activist confides in Alan Colmes: "When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule"
source: tinyurl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MS Works?)
 
 
 
Photoshop comical partnerships for Microsoft to enter into. (Difficulty: MSNBC already done)
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LancasterOnline.com)
 
 
 
Study finds traffic jams keep getting worse. Still no cure for cancer
source: lancasteronline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Allblacks.com)
 
 
 
All Blacks coach Grahm Henry continues to take the Kiwis down by letting standout Carlos Spencer slip away to England
source: allblacks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Woman claims vaginal cream fights facial wrinkles when used in conjunction with tuna-based diet
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Journalists find fish markets selling made-up species. Owners defend themselves, declaring that fugu is acronym for "Fish us, Gut us"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Final price for Runaway Bride toast auction on eBay ends up at $15,400. Runaway high bidder calls from pay phone in New Mexico, claims he's been kidnapped, can't pay high bid
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Our top story tonight: Huge radioactive leak closes local nuclear plant. But first, let's go to Mark, who's got some Class 1A volleyball scores
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Astrological signs replace "Please wash me" pleas carved into the dust on the back of English cars. At least for Libra, Cancer, Pisces, Taurus and Capricorn, slobs who "research" finds are too lazy to clean them
source: sify.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Rejected company slogans
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oh I wish I was a.....)
 
 
 
Theme: Rejected Oscar Mayer wiener jingles
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Sexologists "hunker down" in San Francisco hotel to swap stories about the freakiest of the freaky. Your dog wants a chastity belt
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register-Guard)
 
 
 
Airlines say fliers eating up snack boxes. Still no substitute for a 12-inch BMT in your carry-on
source: registerguard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Online)
 
 
 
If you live in England, your entire country is about to become encased in a block of ice
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TIME Magazine)
 
 
 
Photoshop the latest Time magazine cover featuring Darth Vader
source: i.timeinc.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
New chilli sauce on sale today is so hot it could kill... and The Sun is there
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Howstuffworks)
 
 
 
Halo: The Musical
source: stuffo.howstuffworks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR.org)
 
 
 
All things fhqwhgads: NPR profiles Homestar Runner
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
DaimlerChrysler plant designates 80 percent of employee parking spaces for Chrysler vehicles only and forces workers to park away if they drive Fords or GMs
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toledo Blade)
 
 
 
Nerds gather to debate the question of the ages: Which is better, Star Trek or Star Wars?
source: toledoblade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Smell cannon" developed to shoot smells. Taco Bell to sue for patent infringement
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Gal)
 
Weeners
 
Cute guy in jeans (not safe for work)
source: my-xxx-porn.com
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Military trying to figure out how to rein in hotdogging pilots before millions of dollars in metal gets turned into scrap
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thisislondon)
 
 
 
Now that Londoners are used to the 24-hour camera surveillence of the entire city, government decides to turn up the volume
source: thisislondon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(cincinnati.com)
 
 
 
Rate the "Star Wars" movies in order, with five being the best, one being the worst. Results to be published May 18
source: news.cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
New radio station format hailed as innovative for dropping personalities and actually playing music. Lazlow looking for a new job
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(matt#s)
 
VideoEdit
 
Theme: Car dealership ads for a new generation. Due date: Thursday, May 19
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Activists arrested for attempting to steal briefcase that allows Bush to activate nuclear weapons
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
NASA researchers hatch brilliant plan to provide power to a moonbase: Solar cells. Houston truly is "Space City, USA"
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Drum Kit)
 
 
 
Virtual drum kit. Be Neil Peart. Go nuts. Impress your friends. Play some Skynyrd, man
source: kenbrashear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you live by Sammy Hagar's song "I Can't Drive 55," then you might want to check out this site for a listing of speed traps in your area
source: speedtrap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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