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| Sun December 26, 2004 |
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Emergency Medical Hologram reporting for duty, please state the nature of your medical emergency
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Russians foil NASA's plans to create space cannibals
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these young squatters
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| (Some Guy) |
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The 10 worst tech gadgets of 2004
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Food cart for kids setup outside of the principal's office gets kids to eat more. Same results expected if the carts were setup in the bathrooms
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Ghost causes chaos at Scottish Castle by turning up the jukebox when Robbie Williams songs are playing
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Australia has a long history of being overrun by non-native species. Currently feral camels
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Peyton Manning sets single-season NFL touchdown record with 49
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Next generation of solar panels are light, flexible, and about the size of your fingernail
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| (India Daily) |
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Remote viewing Tibetan monks see extraterrestrial powers saving the world from destroying itself in 2012
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this dam tour
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| (India Daily) |
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Iran complaining about UFOs hovering over their nuclear facilities
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School bans rubber bands after discovering kids shoot them at each other. Warns spitballs maybe next
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Reggie White, former NFL superstar, dies of respiratory failure at the age of 43
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Documentary on X-rated classic "Deep Throat" to screen at Sundance Film Festival
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Tomato Committee says Florida tomatoes are too ugly to be sold out of state
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| (Some Guy) |
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Rat fishing pioneer dies
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop A Farkers two buddies having a gay ol' time in a recent half marathon
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Man walks 2 miles to mother's house with bullet in his head, only to find she has moved to a nursing home
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University professor objects to mountaineers having sex on Mount Everest. Doesn't believe they should go past first base camp
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South Texas gets first white christmas in 86 years. Middle School kids get tricked in eating lemon flavored snow-cones
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Anonymous man walks into homeless shelter, randomly hands out $35,000 in $100 bills
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Over 10,000 in Asia killed by tsunami caused by recent 8.9 quake in Indonesia
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Oil discovered in Cuba. Looks like the U.S. will be liberating them next
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Exploding gravy tops list of Christmas hazards
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| Sat December 25, 2004 |
| (Bloomberg) |
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Earthquake measured at 8.5 hits Indonesia, several reported dead
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Five Christmas eve burglars forced to leave residence empty-handed because the safe was too heavy to handle
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Theme: The consequences of an NRA and PETA merger
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| (Times Online) |
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Nearly 200 reality TV shows set for 2005
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I'll be home for the day after Christmas. Comair cancels all of its 1,100 flights on Saturday because someone spilled beer on the server
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Firefighters rescue frost-bitten lemur from tree
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Prime Minister tells his ministers to think before speaking
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Ghost firms helping to cover up the tracks of the oil-for-food scandal. Bob Cratchet unavailable for comment.
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Pick the best photoshop image of 2004 used in a previous contest
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2004's Top Ten Video Attachments
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Man wearing mini-skirt stuck head first in charity clothing bin. Police Rescue Squad say man was in a good position for some ass whipping
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| (Some Guy) |
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What was the best present you got this morning? The worst? (voting enabled)
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| (Somewhere) |
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Photoshop this high 5
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| (Interfax) |
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Walrus and dolphin transport goes awry, impromptu 'dolphin on ice' show ensues. Goo goo g'joob
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Accuser's lawyer wants to know how many other times Kobe took the backdoor layup hard to the hole when looking to score
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Mitsubishi Eclipse owner's hate page about Honda Ricers
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| (Rocky Mountain News) |
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Cassini probe begins to fall to Saturn moon Titan. Last transmission from Cassini is reported to be "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
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Annual Christmas day swim for naked Germans includes inverted penises and nipples.
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For 29 years two brothers have been sending the same card to each other, further proof alzheimer's has its advantages
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| (NY Daily News) |
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Halle Berry: "The day I saw my mom eating the Santa cookies on the plate was one of the most horrific days of my life. I never let her forget it. I had at least three more good years that I could have believed, had she not been so careless"
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Cost cutting measures means Snow White only has 4 dwarves and 2 puppets in dwarf costume.
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| (Kentucky Post) |
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Manhole covers are disappearing at an alarming rate in Kentucky. Cornhole covers doing just fine in Cincinnati however
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It's embarrassing to get stuck in the mud while making a U-turn. It's way worse when you're driving a full passenger jet at the time
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| (tree house guerrilla) |
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Photoshop this army of one
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| (GIS) |
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AudioEdit Santa terminating an elf's employment
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Scientists find gay penguins. Your bird wants a matching tuxedo -- Not that there's anything wrong with that
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Market rethinks selling microwaveable stuffed animals for children
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Ohio couple spends $85 to reserve church pew for Christmas Eve mass. Scalpers surrender
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Christmas just wouldn't be the same in Fishers, Indiana without the annual bull running through town until it's brought down by a sniper's bullet
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| (Secret Santa) |
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40 galleries of boobies by the stockings were bare, the chicks by the pool shaved triangles in their hair. The stuff in this link, not to be played off, click this at work and you might end up laid off
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Gossip columnist vows to never write about Paris Hilton again; right after this one last time
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Woman sets up fake charity donation boxes around town. Jailarity ensues. Woman gets out of jail, sets up fake donation boxes. Because no one would ever suspect it again
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McDonald's drive-thru worker reaches in, pulls customer completely out of car. This was a good thing as the driver was passed out at the wheel and his car was rolling towards a canal
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23 years later, stolen 1963 Ford Fairlane discovered and returned. Merry Christmas folks
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Court of Appeals allows man named Snaphappy Fishsuit to change his name to Variable
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| (Secret Santa) |
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From house to house the fat man he sped while visions of this actually danced through my head. Although this link is tame, a site to be prized, click it at work, you might be downsized
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this father-daughter duo
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Airman on leave saves mother and son from sinking car after it crashes into river
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Merry Christmas everyone! From Drew and the gang
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| Fri December 24, 2004 |
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Lutefisk inflicted on US troops. Norwegian terrorists held responsible
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Ghost Ship haunts R.I. coast, Mystery Inc. called in to investigate. Old man Smithers denies involvement
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Photoshop Pauly Shore a better career. Link goes to GIS
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List of Japan's weirdest cops of 2004
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Detroit drivers ticketed for snow emergency that was never issued
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| (Valley Sun) |
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City officials shut down 11-year-old's mistletoe stand for not having a business license
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| (Daily Bulletin) |
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Santa answers first-graders' questions
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| (M90) |
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Christina Aguilera changes her look, still slutty (safe for work)
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| (Portsmouth Herald) |
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Restaurant crowd sings carols over breakfast, everyone just hams it up
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Pot plant found disguised as Christmas tree. The angels had the giggles and the toy-soldiers had the squints but the biggest clue was the gingerbread man eating himself
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| (Cadillac News) |
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First alternate team of reindeer: "Dasher, Conner, Cupid, Vixen, Rudolph, Blitzen, Slayer, Pikachu and Dakota" Still no cure for Prancer
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Let us remember the most important Christmas in American history: Washington crossing the Delaware and opening a can of colonial whupass
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Four Norwegian towns bickering over who owns Santa Claus. North Pole out of the running
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| (8bitpeoples.com) |
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Sounds of the season: Christmas carols produced from old videogames (w/ mp3's)
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| (Some Farkette) |
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I triple dog dare you (24 hours of A Christmas Story starts tonight at 8pm on TBS)
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What if Bin Ladin stopped releasing tapes and started releasing albums? Link goes to cover-art inspiration
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Newpaper subscribers surprised to receive a Bible insert in their Sunday newspaper. The entire New Testament, in fact
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German paper prints only good news on Christmas
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| (channelcincinnati.com) |
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This week's intelligent thief robs convenience store across street from police station and locks keys in getaway car, Apu is amused
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Artificial Xmas trees from China may contain real longhorn beetles
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| (Some Guy) |
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New Years 101 for Guys: How to buy someone a drink
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Finnish volunteer firefighters somehow manage to set a sauna ablaze, then can't figure out how to rectify the situation
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| (NORAD Santa) |
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NORAD is already tracking Santa, you pacific rim Farkers better get to bed soon
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| (People's Daily Online) |
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China's new hotness: vinegar bars. Something to quench your thirst AND fix that "not-so-fresh" feeling
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Photoshop an old Dr. Seuss book cover, making it relevant to issues today. (Link is Dr Seuss GIS)
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Cassini ready to launch probe to Titan. Cartman seen holding both hands tightly over his ass
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BBC issues memo to teach staff how to use revolving doors. Will next issue a memo on how to boil water� oops, too late
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| (News 8) |
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Brawl breaks out at bar, they take it outside. Fight quickly broken up by freight train
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Dad with naughty kids threatens to sell Christmas presents on EBay. Kids call his bluff, Dad shows he's got the biggest stones
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Scientists find giant asteroid on a collision course with Earth
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| (Cincinnati Enquirer) |
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Photoshop the fine mayor of Rabbit Hash, Ky. (He's in front sitting on the ground)
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Explosion on electric tower sends 3" bolt through window onto bed of sleeping couple
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| Thu December 23, 2004 |
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KFC cook, worked at the same location for 49 years retires today. If you're in the neighborhood, stop by for lunch
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| (wsoctv.com) |
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Ch-ch-ch-Chia Pets still popular gifts. Recipients still think they Su-su-su-suck
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Running over a pedestrian in a crosswalk while driving double the speed limit isn't illegal says judge as he pauses GTA to render verdict
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Earliest depiction of rainbow found... along with earliest depiction of Pacman (pic)
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| (KMBC) |
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FCC fines radio station $200,000 for putting naked people on the air. Now it's a crime to simply sound naked
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Massive earthquake measuring 8.2 on Richter scale strikes, not a single person found alive in the area
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| (Some Guy) |
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Outhouse falls on man
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| (New Statesman) |
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"These days, pert buttocks, bulging bikini tops and glistening lips do little to enhance sales" (not safe for work)
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High class services for dogs include stretch limousines, day care, grooming and, yes, even psychotherapy. Your dog doesn't just want steak anymore
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| (LA Times) |
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Parts of Los Angeles are turning into mini-Mogadishus
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Meteor showers to devastate planet Earth
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| (wral.com) |
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N.C. homeless shelter evicts pregnant woman, three sons; shelter director says Jesus would have done the same thing
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Sonic boom from Eurofighter jet scares the bejesus out of town who thought it was an earthquake
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| (Some Dynasty) |
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Japan to sell new flimsy car in US to "lure younger drivers". Emperor is seen stroking his beard and smiling wickedly
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Indiana town gets almost 30 inches of snow today. Share your recent snow stories
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| (Some Farkette) |
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Theme for a farkette: Huckleberry Finn on a variety of unexpected modern-day adventures. (Link goes to GIS for "Huckleberry Finn")
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Best Singles Scene: Barnes and Noble
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| (Some Guy) |
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Top 10 most disappointing movies of 2004
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| (Some Guy) |
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The Bill Cosby "Pull up your pants and speak English" tour is on. Best material ever
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| (Game Spot) |
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Minor sues over illegal use of her boobies when she saw herself in a video game
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today's "Octogenarian Kills Intruder" story brought to you by Sandlick, Kentucky. Don't mess with Grandpa this Christmas
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| (Post Gazette) |
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Hawk 1 Annoying Little Dogs 0
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Boulder Colorado considering issuing $1000 speeding ticket. Officers also considering replacing their service revolvers with Howitzer cannons
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For all Farkers travelling this holiday season, TSA gives advice on how to avoid the snap of a rubber glove
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Soccer star fired from team for failing to show up at own wedding
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Freight train carrying hydrochloric acid derails in Illinois
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| (B3ta) |
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The folks over at B3ta spoof the new Band Aid cover
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Shoe sale starts at 7, mall opens at 8. Hilarity ensues
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| (Some Plumber) |
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Photoshop this expert putty job
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Florida nativity flap grows. Zoroastrianism and Festivus check in. Atheists insist on hanging up sour grapes
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Texas Farkers, fellow Farker needs help finding Niece and Grand Niece. Details in thread
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Swiss student fined $4,000 for trying to play hide the salami with airport screener
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Scientists discover previously unknown species of "monster" cockroach. Immediately call for environmental protections to ensure the safety of the insects
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2,000 Indonesian house wives gather together to do laundry
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| (worldnetdaily.com) |
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Border Patrol agents providing heat packs & blankets to alleviate the discomfort aliens may experience as they sneak across the southwestern U.S. border
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| (Great Falls Tribune) |
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Lewis and Clark described Native American transvestites possessing great spiritual power, ability to belt out show tunes
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| (Reno Gazette-Journal) |
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Nevada Supreme Court strikes down "Son of Sam" law, which allows victims of felonies to take any profits made by felons from books, movies, etc. about the crime
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Researchers have ostriches running on treadmills in an effort to determine the running style of Tyrannosaurus Rex - Treadmilling elephant of Alaska unwilling to comment
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| (Some Guy) |
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FCC searching for anti-Bush DC pirate radio station. Hard Harry unavailable for comment
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Arena Football Champions give players filing for free agency rings encrusted with cubic zirconia
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| (Some Guy) |
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Woman pays $50,000 for cloned cat
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Go naked in Villahermosa, Mexico, and get arrested. That's indoors. In your own house
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| (WLWT) |
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Beginning December 23, female airline passengers will be allowed to hide weapons between their boobs
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Government condemns Ghettopoly. Pimps forced to play Slumderdash and Tenamentictionary
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Parachute system can save lives on small planes. Jetliners still rely upon "head between knees" method
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NFL announces Pro Bowl teams. Randy who?
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Supercomputer to simulate nuke explosion -- Here comes the science
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Photoshop what Drew was doing when the 200,000th Farker was registered that caused him not to notice for three days
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| (Some Animator) |
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"Daddy says I'm too old to belive in Santa. Please come to our house and put the fear of God into him." Childrens' Letters to Christopher Walken
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| (Japan Herald) |
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Japanese engineers develop image scanner built into piece of flexible plastic barely the size of a credit card, secret agent technology surrenders
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New York comedians say their pay is a joke
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Calls to end duck hunting in Australia ignored; told it's wabbit season instead
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Stolen 'Black Sabbath' gold & silver records recovered behind dumpster
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| Wed December 22, 2004 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Customs officers seize 263 "Fart Bombs"
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Bride who was dropped at the altar by SMS to sue fiance
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Since all over forms of racial discrimination have been dealt with, Nova Scotia's human rights board asks Supreme Court to decide if "Kemosabe" is a racist term. Lone Ranger surrenders
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Rats available for adoption in San Francisco, except you have to pass the questionnaire and screening exam -- and be ready to list some "hopes and expectations'' for your rat
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How to dispose of £20 million and not get caught
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Arkansas bitches about its Ford police cars. Ford responds by refusing to sell any more cars to Arkansas police
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| (Star Tribune) |
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Group demands Budwieser remove beer-stealing referee ads because they promote illegal activity, consumption of crappy beer
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| (NOLA.com) |
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An Army of One: Sgt on first patrol in Iraq suspicious of luxury car parked next to barn uncovers large weapons cache, saves perhaps 50 lives
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Man plays same videogame every night for 2 hours for 25 years. Wife says his dinner went cold in 1989
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Next time you're on a cocaine binge and invite two women into your mobile home, hide your cooking tongs
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New PETA billboard shows sheep with bloody butts caused by farmers
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Unaware that prison is meant to be somewhat unpleasant for criminals, Martha Stewart calls for sentencing reform and better prison food
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| (des moines register) |
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Today's "five million pounds of fresh popcorn scattered over 1000 acres" brought to you by Iowa
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Washington, DC gives in to MLB blackmail
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Theme: What if time travel were allowed in sports?
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Man kills himself with chain saw during arrest
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| (newsitem.com) |
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Santa Shot in Shamokin PA.....your elf wants body armor
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| (Mail and Guardian Online) |
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Japan welcomes knife-proof kids' clothes
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French attorney accused of paying a prostitute with a stolen credit card hours after giving a speech on ethics
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Man gets year in jail after being arrested for playing football in the street
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Colin Farrell admits to being overpaid, Hollywood says "Dude, shut up."
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| (Some TFette) |
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Firefox is now 21.2% of the browser market, and more people are using Opera than Netscape 7.0
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The Tennessean presents: 8 driving tips southerners will not follow the instant they see a snowflake
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Movies for people who hate Christmas. You know where you can stick that holiday cheer
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Why do some men obsess over tiny little train sets?
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School Dean and 17-year old student who were fighting fall down elevator shaft, Bruce Willis not impressed
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Alaska man builds 18-foot fighting robot for local race track, military, SkyNet (pics)
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Harry Potter at #1, 7 months before being released
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Farmers are now feeding cattle beer. Beer that we could be drinking right now
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Sharon Osborne battling bulimia. Asked for comment, husband Ozzy stated that he mffftly sppmhrt his fknwf yknow, abltrrtn his fknhm
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| (Local10) |
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"Frosty" the cat, scheduled to be put to sleep, doing well after spending time in a deep freezer with his euthanized buddies. (with pic)
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Kid breaks into house, 79 y.o. WWII vet asks him politely to leave. Kid refuses, learns that shooting is like riding a bicycle
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: Michael Moore working on his latest project. Link goes to easy-to-photoshop pic of a rootin' tootin' shotgun-totin' Mike
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| (ZWire) |
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Suspect falls asleep two blocks from crime scene, only takes the police 8 hours to find him napping in a running car with the burglar alarm sounding
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So far no one has conquered Scotland's 10 pound burger
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AP removes its poll from the BCS
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this Farker's one-month-old daughter who wants to be a rock star. Difficulty: The wife must like it (link goes to pic)
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| (Monterey Herald) |
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Man gets confused, accuses elderly woman of stealing the van that he just stole
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Mystery Martian cleans US space buggy, asks if it has any spare change
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Boeing launches 17 million horsepower rocket, wins science fair
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| (wtkr.com) |
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If you're going to break into a house and tie up the residents, try to pick a house where the victim can't dial 9-1-1 with her tongue
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Impotent Brazilian robbers hold up pharmacy for Viagra, Cialis and Levitra. Your dog wants a bone
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| (Some F'ing Guy) |
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New York's 31 electoral college votes are currently on the books for some guy named John L. Kerry
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| Tue December 21, 2004 |
| (MLB.com) |
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New York Yankees can't finish a deal to get Randy Johnson, leaving Steinbrenner longing for the Big Unit to fill his holes
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Archeologists may have discovered clay jars that Jesus used to turn water into wine; other team of scientists still looking for Santa's workshop and Easter Bunny's lair
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Jersey City mall suffers power outage, hundreds inconvenienced
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Tonga is the porniest nation in the world with 7.7 pages per inhabitant
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$39 million bank heist in Belfast may be world's biggest. IRA on the short list of suspects
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this Normal Rockwellesque Christmas scene
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A whole week of inauguration protests planned. Department of Homeland Security ready to kick some hippy ass
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Microsoft unloads Slate on the Washington Post
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Toy trains will now be packaged with condoms. What?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man who saved the world now living in dingy basement apartment
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Diet soda could soon outsell regular soda even as pants with 40-inch waists could soon outsell pants with 32-inch waists
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Anybody wanna go to the Sugar Bowl? (Not safe for work)
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Commit a capital crime in Sri Lanka and your hangman may be wearing a "trainee" badge
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man paints his whole body to look like Spider-Man (not safe for work)
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Taco Bell employee double-swipes rude customers' credit cards, thought no one would notice
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| (Hawaii Channel) |
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Inmate escapes in the nude, later spotted sporting strategically positioned paper bag
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Husband's prank triggers national security alert
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Not to be outdone by West Virginia, male Maryland fish growing eggs
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AudioEdit an "unusual" Christmas carol
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| (Cincinnati Enquirer) |
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Man claims he slid on ice when his SUV struck a pedestrian. The fact that the pedestrian was his girlfriend's ex-husband is purely coincidental
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| (Galvnews) |
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Police advise against attacking burglars, but when you're a pissed-off female armed with a fireplace poker determined to strip burglar naked, it's pretty cool
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| (SILive.com) |
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Ahh, the holiday season -- preschool holiday play erupts in a brawl
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Dow touches three-year high, gets put in same jail cell as Michael Jackson
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Wall Street's "Charging Bull" for sale. Washington DC "knee-deep bull" still free
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Burp Blaster toy that says "sh*t" removed from store shelves (with pic, video)
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Sixth "Harry Potter" book complete. JK Rowling goes back to clearing out back bedroom to make room for buttloads of cash
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| (Livedaily) |
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Hoobastank cancels tour after singer becomes violently ill. Doctors believe frontman Doug Robb had just listened to the band's latest album
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| (KRT Wire) |
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Move over, Mattel: The king of weird toys is hanging on to market share by producing things like the smoking baby, angel snot and hopping lederhosen
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Woman receives impromtu rat shower, nets $65k. Squirrel, kitten showers up next
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| (north umberland today) |
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Bad Christmas for man that leaves tailgate down while taking new TV home for the holidays. Good Christmas for '93 Buick that gets a 43-inch hood ornament
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Full of holiday cheer, Shaq offers to be the brick wall to Kobe's Corvette
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| (Some Goof-Ass) |
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Paul "Wofowitz" to nuke Houston on Dec. 27th
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For the first time in history, "My evil twin did it" excuse actually works
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Germany wins world cup beer battle
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When dropping off your film to be developed, make sure the cannister isn't full of cocaine
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Most people go to Vegas for the slots, but a rare few go for a good paddling of their balls
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Internet logs nailed fetus snatcher
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| (Some power-luser) |
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Theme: Clippy saves the world
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Yankees set to acquire Randy Johnson as paperwork goes to Bud Selig for approval. Duke sucks
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Yankees selling off anything the Red Sox touched during the last ALCS
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| (Film Threat) |
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Top 10 Hollywood urban legends. Strangely, Richard Gere/gerbil love tryst not listed
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"Cosmic" bakery fights construction of cell-phone tower. Says radio waves will disturb the subtle forces involved in making its bread.
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Britons lead the world in getting hammered at Christmas
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| (Oakland Tribune) |
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Installed for homeland security purposes, radiation detectors are regularly being tripped by humans emitting gamma rays. Witnesses report that they have green skin and wear only torn-up jeans
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Parking Theory 101, Section Four: Mall parking strategies
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| (Reno Gazette-Journal) |
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Poll: Most Nevadans would rather not have their state be turned into a festering nuclear cesspool
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Burp Blaster toy says "sh*t" when fired. Mother not amused
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Pesky past passenger pickup problems? Provisional phone parking permits provided. Proposed project practicality puzzling, problematic
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Give the gift of TotalFark. Immediate delivery, no waiting in lines
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Turning cell phones into sex toys was "a natural progression," says editor with humming pants
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Tom Wolfe invokes Alanis Morissette defense against "Bad Sex" award. Slither, slither
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Teen sues school board after she was denied entry to prom over Confederate flag dress. Also says someone kept playing Dukes of Hazard music when she jumped into her orange car through the window
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Attack on U.S. dining hall in Mosul. Twenty-two dead, 50+ wounded
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| (The Olympian) |
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Society makes nondrinkers feel like dorks
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Once a year, the sun enters Ophiuchus, the little-known 13th house of the zodiac
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Dolphins upset Patriots. Duke sucks
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Fark's annual "worst holiday gift ever" photoshop contest. Difficulty: No repeats
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop theme: "Honesty in Holiday Cards." Link goes to Festivus websites
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| (Some EQ Geek) |
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EQ guy caught cheating on his online girlfriend. The Sun isn't there, yet (not safe for work)
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Pedro's dwarf is mad at him for going to the Mets
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Cow brains and spinal tissue entering American food supply -- in violation of USDA directives. Your dog wants steak
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CBS eyeing Katie Couric to replace Dan Rather. "Cooking with Katie" and "Let's just sit here and be cute and show some leg" high on the list of proposed regular features
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Hotel hangs mistletoe from its awning, rewards any couples that stop for a kiss with glasses of champagne
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these trampoline-safety enforcers
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| Mon December 20, 2004 |
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Its that time of year again, you know, when JonBenet replaces Laci Peterson on all the tabloids
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Small town in Louisiana to receive phone service for the first time
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| (Florida Today) |
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That sinkhole in Florida, she no gettin' any smaller, mang
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Surgeons who play video games operate more quickly and accurately, particularly in cases that require pills to be thrown into rows with colored viruses
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Hurricane-force wind gusts hit Colorado
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Indian asshat tries to sell homemade teen porn video on Ebay. Ebay pulls the auction. Police arrest CEO of Ebay's Indian subsidiary anyway. Thousand-person music-and-dance scene ensues
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| (NBC4) |
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Tom Cruise leaves $5,000 in Dairy Queen tip jar for accident victim
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| (Switzerland) |
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Ah, St. Nicholas' Day, when a young Swiss man celebrates by grabbing a bullwhip to chase Santa down the street in a drunken stupor. With video. (Click on British flag for bizarre translation of the ritual)
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School district pays all of its staff from a cash-advance line of credit. What could possibly go wrong?
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Wal-Mart to sell $500 Linux laptops. Employee answers to all questions is "Uhhhhhh?"
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| (wzzm13.com) |
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Archway recalling cashew cookies. Extra sparkly Christmas sprinkles are actually glass shards. Yum
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Declassified Navy sonar recordings indicate that a solitary whale matching no known species has been wandering the Pacific, calling out and receiving no answer, for the last 12 years. Spock blending in with 20th-century Californians to investigate
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| (AllHipHop) |
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Footage from Ol' Dirty Bastard's final concert sold on Ebay for $100,000. Highlights include ODB smoking crack, falling off the stage
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| (The Iowa Channel) |
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Carrie Bare, stripper, comes to work town where Carrie Bare, youth pastor and preschool teacher, lives. Hilarity ensues
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| (ChannelCincinnati) |
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Squirrels of the regular-size nutsack variety are stealing the Christmas lights from the Cincinnati Zoo's Festival of Lights
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After getting a rare win yesterday, 2 Raiders players decide to go celebrate. Public intoxilarity ensues
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| (theledger.com) |
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Local church practices guerrilla Nativity tactics
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Terrell Owens out for the season, ensuring the Eagles a fourth straight NFC Championship game defeat. Let's hear it for almost good enough
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| (NBC5.com) |
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Promoters reserve YMCA for all-night cross-dressing and transgendered fashion show. Parents bringing kids to early swim meet not impressed. Hilarity ensues
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Two hundred years after the birth of Joseph Smith, Mormons reflect on their religion's founder, and some wonder if it's possible that he just made the whole thing up
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This hour's "Anonymous donor drops gold coin in Salvation Army kettle" is brought to you be Royal Oak, Michigan.
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| (woai.com) |
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GI bound for Iraq loses custody of his son
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Fatties are quitting Atkins fever
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Bush defends Rumsfeld, saying he's doing a "really fine job" of insulting troops, covering up prison abuses, not sending enough supplies and lying his arse off
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Italians mad about smoking ban; claim smoke covers up the BO
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Remains of 7,500-year-old man found. The remains can often be seen on Late Night with Conan O'Brien and go by the name Abe Vigoda
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If you drive a Kia Spectra, looking like a loser is the least of your worries
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Drivers in Ontario may soon have to drive with their pants on once again
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| (PC World) |
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North American asses collectively growing in anticipation of Samsung's new 102 inch plasma TV
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Jack Whittaker's granddaughter found dead in woods
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Moose again attacking the laundry in Norway, signaling the arrival of Christmas
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| (Keene Sentinel) |
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UPS driver injured in serious accident. Unable to get proper medical attention at hospital because he hadn't delivered the parts to fix the CAT scan machine yet
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this shooting-range setup
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Actual water Elvis drank from onstage, 2/21/1977
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| (LancasterOnline.com) |
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If you're driving around with 33 bags of cocaine, 34 tablets of ecstasy, a small bag of marijuana, a six-pack of beer, a loaded handgun and two open bottles of alcohol, don't drive the wrong way down a one-way street
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Today's "Hunter mistakes llama for deer" story brought to you courtesy of Madison, Wisconsin
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St. Peter's Basilica opens coffee bar, offers Body of Christ double mocha latte
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The AFP's top strangest stories of 2004, some of which you saw here, some of which you submitted with a funnier headline
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| (KSTP.com) |
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The Zamboni, the Zamboni, the Zamboni is on fire (with video)
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Aussie Telecom company sued to $13 million in unpaid bills for porn
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Excuses not to try the next time you're pulled over for speeding. Someone's already tried them and found them wanting
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| (WCCO) |
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Post office will lose, damage or misdirect more pieces of mail today than any other day of the year
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Kato Kalin bravely announces he will not cancel "public appearences" after nephew killed in Iraq. In other news, Kato Kalin still makes public appearences
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Swedish pharmacy seeking volunteers to break world record by kissing for 31 hours, will also break record for blue balls
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Homes for the pudgy, homes for the pudgy
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Photoshop these creepy Christmas dummies
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Here's an early Christmas present: The Page 3 Girl winner (not safe for work)
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Lightning on Saturn "one million times stronger" than on Earth
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| (7 News) |
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Four-year-old Honda robot, Asimo, finally learns how to jog
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| (Some shocked guy) |
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For some reason, Styx decided it would be a good idea to release a cover of "I Am the Walrus" in 2004. Amazingly, it doesn't suck
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| (Some Guy) |
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The project to build a real hobbit hole
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| (TerraDaily) |
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Gypsy decapitated by hurricane-blown roof tile. There can be only one
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| (Syd) |
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"The Dark Side of Oz," the Pink Floyd/Wizard of Oz phenomena revisited
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Christmas tree shortages in Hawaii raise prices to $200
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| (TvNz) |
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Man beats crap out of own car with sledgehammer when it refuses to start. Police arrive on scene, determine no crime had been committed, grumble that Basil Fawlty did it way better back in '75
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Mechanics share their most memorable stupid acts. Share yours
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| (Some Guy) |
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Blonde twins... four breasts above the rest (not safe for work)
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Theme: Unlikely scenes from the extended DVD version of "The Return of the King"
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These are only a small percentage of links submitted. Join TotalFark to see them all! Link archives »
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