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| Sun November 07, 2004 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Shaq sells house to Japanese pop star. Obviously, he needed the extra tall and wide entrances
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| (Some Military Author) |
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Zergling rush
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New DC stadium will be painted camouflage and will have water magic
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Assault on Fallujah has begun. Local businesses already selling shirts that say "I survived the battle of Fallujah and all I got was this lousy shirt." Also selling preorders for "Halo 2"
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Turn your old vinyl records into bowls
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| (NDTV.com) |
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To James Belushi: Thanks for making a boring sitcom. I'll use that as an excuse to annoy the hell out of you. Love, Julie Newmar
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Activist chains self to train tracks to protest nuclear-waste shipments. Darwinism ensues
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Scientists discover that bees "bumble" while drunk. Still no cure for cancer
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| (CTV) |
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UN scientists pull random numbers from their ass and predict global population in year 2300 will be somewhere between 2.3 billion and 134 trillion
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| (Montgomery Advisor) |
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Larry Hagman wants to be ground in a wood chipper, scattered in wheat field, baked into a cake for friends to eat (end of story)
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Britain to begin testing flying minicabs sometime next year
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| (NY Daily News) |
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Construction worker notices nearby apartment on fire, rushes into building, rescues three kids left home alone by mother
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Woman chokes to death during bread-eating contest
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If you are intoxicated and get your car stuck in the mud, don't steal a fire truck to push it free. Also, don't call for a tow truck on the engine's radio
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| (Some Lad) |
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Photoshop this dude in his ultimate LOTR fantasy
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Thief steals only one brand of lawnmower to finance drug habit
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| (New Kerala) |
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Indian scientists develop beer that protects your liver
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| (News Journal) |
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The elves ride harleys. Probably smoke doobies, drink beer and make love to your women at will. But they are still elves
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| (Herald Tribune) |
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Cement truck unleashes 50,000 pounds of fresh concrete on I-20
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| (Some Guy) |
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Create a map of all the countries/states you have visited. (Comments not safe for dialup)
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| (Some Guy) |
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U.S. Air Force report on non-lethal weapons. Entanglers and holograms unite once more
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| (Some bored guy) |
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Your life is a board game, so photoshop it. Link goes to GIS for inspiration
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| (Rapid City Journal) |
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West Virginia car runs on baking soda and vinegar
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| (Some Guy) |
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Gallery of old computer ads. LOBO has it all
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Study reveals that actually teaching children, instead of giving them lots of time in which to get drunk, improves their grades
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Sign of the times: Senior bus trip heads north to buy drugs
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Iraq goes to red alert
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Scientific study of male mating patterns at bars
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| (some small town guy) |
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Another example of a small-town newspaper with nothing better to report
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Officer dressed as Shrek chases down booze thief
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| (NOLA) |
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$2.3 billion worth of cocaine, weighing in at 37 tons, seized by Coast Guard this fall
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Wisconsin school science curriculum "should not be totally inclusive of just one scientific theory"
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Government study blames parents, not booze industry, for underage drinking
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| (Some Frog) |
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Him name is hopkin green frog. I'll find my frog. Who took my frog?
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French warplanes destroy fledgling Ivory Coast Air Force
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| (Gorilla Media) |
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Photoshop this roadside gorilla
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Teacher calls sunbathing girls sluts for exposing their midriffs, singing dirty song
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| (bangladesh-web) |
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Spurious beer factory unearthed by "Cobra." Storm Shadow surrenders
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| Sat November 06, 2004 |
| (Flange) |
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The nine commandments of caption writing
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| (Some Guy) |
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Hong Kong residents digging up old graves to make room for newer corpses
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| (Blizzard Entertainment) |
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World of Warcraft intro now available for viewing. Dabu
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Panic after nuclear reactor shutdown in Russia: "People were telling each other to drink vodka, take iodine and no matter what not to use public water"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man's leg set ablaze at frat party
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| (anysoldier.com) |
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Anysoldier.com -- 100 percent of your donation goes to sending a care package to a soldier who doesn't get them from home
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| (Some Guy) |
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Finally, the long wait for a waffle belt buckle has come to an end
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| (NZ Herald) |
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Investigative reporter takes to the streets dressed as Master Chief in order to, uh, see how people react to a guy dressed as Master Chief (pic)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this tiny parade leader
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Pictures from Star Wars: Episode III. (May contain spoilers)
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| (Idaho Statesman) |
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The top 10 good things and bad things about college football
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Architect uses 80 tons of pornography for barn erection
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People suffer depression from election results. Still no cure for cancer
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| (News Journal) |
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Soldier sends a rose a day to his wife, then surprises her by delivering the last rose himself
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| (Chill Gazette) |
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The secret to the perfect pancake
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| (Arkansas Dem & Gaz) |
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Man wins city council race despite not campaigning for it
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What makes blue cheese blue?
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Fark Party Vancouver, tonight, 8:00 pm at the Jolly Taxpayer's Pub. Fark Party Seattle tomorrow 1:00 pm at Jillian's
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| (mlive.com) |
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Electric barrier keeps Asian carp from U.S. waters. Still no barrier to keep terrorists from U.S. land
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| (Some Gal) |
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Mark Vanderloo. If you like Brad Pitt, you'll probably like this lad
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this lonely path
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Geologists watch in fascination as Mount St. Helens begins ejecting the equivalent of a 30-story, magma-based buttplug
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| (Some Guy) |
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AudioEdit a song about things that start with the letter C
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| (OnlyPunjab) |
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Court forces burglar, who got wedged in chimney during crime, to rebuild it after firefighters had to rip it apart to free him. Reached for comment, Santa says "Damn straight, baby. The system works"
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British discover new way to eat peas that doesn't include cooking them into grey mush
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| (TheTruthAboutCars.com) |
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Ford's newest car, the Five Hundred, is to cars what Applebee's is to fine dining
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Tough, rugged suburbanites re-enacting Lewis & Clark expedition call off rest of trip because it's getting cold and they really miss sushi
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After being arraigned in court for damaging cash register, man takes elevator up to courthouse cafe, swipes money from cash register
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Arafat -- who was deathly ill, not deathly ill, in a coma, not in a coma, dead, not dead, brain dead, not brain dead -- now awake and communicating
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Tara Reid pops out her top... the Sun is there (not safe for work)
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| (WFTV) |
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Deputy charged with urinating in parking-garage elevator. Blames rare condition of uromysitisis
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County health officials searching for two teenagers seen playing hacky sack with rabid bat
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| (Female First) |
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Sharon Osbourne beat up Japanese groupie who climbed into bed with her and Ozzy
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Actors use IMDb as a dating tool
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today's Iron Photoshop ingredients are Ted Nugent and a fish
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| (nbc4.tv) |
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Golf course managers sentenced to house arrest and probation for arranging tournament where strippers and prostitutes set up tents along the course advertising various services. Many golfers arrived to play without clubs
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| (adventuregamestudio) |
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Customizable engine lets you create your own point-and-click adventure games for free
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| (FoxForums) |
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Trailer for new Disney/Pixar joint: Cars
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High school students accused of hacking into computer, changing grades, watching too many 80s movies
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| Fri November 05, 2004 |
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Schroedinger's Arafat still kicking, but new fight breaks out over burial site
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Chefs cook world's biggest onion ball at just under 190 pounds
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Floods hit Somali leper community. Residents assumed to be picking up the pieces
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| (Some Guy) |
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After an unsuccessful retun in POG form, ALF makes his triumphant return to television... in talkshow host form. First show airs tonight at 11:00 PM EST
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| (Oh Canada!) |
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Canadian man buys beer at drive-thru liquor store, gets stopped by police, fined $445 for driving with an "unopened container"
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| (Some Sandwich Guy) |
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Jared the Deceiver: Subway's chicken teriyaki subs have six times the salt, seven times the carbs, 14 times the sugar of a Big Mac
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Sneezing mooner gets a church bruising
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| (Some Guy) |
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Six-year-old girl brings crack to school. Mom says her daughter must have gotten it while trick-or-treating
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| (wsbtv.com) |
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Wendy's officially fires unofficial spokesperson
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| (Some Guy's Dad) |
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Tuesday is TFr's dad's birthday. Show your photoshoppin' love
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| (wdsu) |
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Welcome to Oklahoma City. Don't drop a sunflower seed on the street, or we'll fine you $185
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Read a book, get oral sex. In other words, literacy rates go up when people go down
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| (FoxForums) |
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Star Wars Episode III trailer, with farkloads of mirrors
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California compost program recycles food scraps into high-grade compost for farms and vineyards. In other news, meat-flavored wines coming soon
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| (Boston Herald) |
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When two women half your age come back to your place for sex, chances are they have ulterior motives. Especially if your age is 74
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Nebraska underwater town exposed
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| (myTelus) |
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2004 World Toilet Summit: Toilets represent the level of development of a country. France surrenders
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| (WTOP) |
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Tips for the criminally inclined: Make sure the bank is not still under construction before attempting to rob it
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Air Force report calls for $7.5m to study psychic teleportation, $8 on flying insect spray
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Captain Scott Speicher's remains may have been found
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England scores some sweet Cypriot ass
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Channel 4 seeks volunteer corpses
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Fatal Friday: Why Brits really should just stay at home today
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Hundred-year-old woman will be cashing in on her century after 100-1 wager a decade ago
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| (Hubble) |
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Triple eclipse on Jupiter
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| (This is London) |
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Yo, da name's Bond init, Jimmi Bond
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Wondering what to buy your mother-in-law for Christmas? A plastic surgery voucher will knock her socks off. Jowls, too
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McDonald's slammed for refusing fat applicants for adverts (with pics)
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Mars rovers get mysterious power boost. Latest photo showed little green man with jumper cables disappearing over horizon
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Tourist bus becomes wedged under bridge. Bus driver reached under 40 passengers, reportedly said, "UUUMMMPPH. OORRFFF"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Drew in Seattle this weekend, and will be on BJ Shea's radio show on 100.7 The Buzz, Friday from noon to 1:00 p.m. PST. Fark party, Sunday, 1:00 p.m. at Jillian's
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| (jimmsta himself) |
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This oblivious farker needs a photoshop... or not...
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| (Some Guy) |
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Texas cops kill man with stun gun after he steals electricty
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| (Sentinel and Enterprise) |
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Luckily, the accident occurred in a Dunkin' Donuts parking lot, so a police officer was nearby
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Man mistakes schoolbus for farmers' market, moped for Caddy
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Rat named "Rottie" raised by birds. "Trifecta" sounds nicer
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Truck carrying chocolate overturns on highway. Emergency peanuts and nougat on the way
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| (Craig Daily Press) |
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City workers trained to deal with "death bags"
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Scientists develop vaccine for cancer. Still no cure for... oh...
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| (KTRK) |
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Interview with the woman accused of cutting off her husband's weener
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Police officer docked 28 minutes pay for visiting a prostitute while on duty
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| (Frothing Geek) |
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After countless billions of years, the universe supplies us with a "World of Warcraft" release date
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So many towns have dissolved in Maine to lower their tax burdens, the "unorganized territory" now makes up half the state. Coonskin hats remain optional at this point
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Proving that absinthe makes the heart grow fonder, Switzerland will soon allow underground makers of the drug to begin producing it legally
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop what this stick man is really running from
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| (hiddendoors.com) |
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The Hidden Door Company has the solution for your pre-apocalyptic weapon-hoarding needs
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| (Some Raging Hormones) |
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Lesbian sex for the TV masses. You blokes better film this for us
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| (UCSB Daily Nexus) |
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Drunken man with superior fighting skills and ill-fitting pants challenges the police to a fight
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| Thu November 04, 2004 |
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Airline study finds that persons of *ahem* larger carriage are eating airline profits
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| (Jayson) |
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Something to do with all the chainsaws you have lying around
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Pioneer Corporation creates 25-gigabyte storage disc made from corn. Salsa sold separately (with pic)
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| (Eonline.com) |
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NBC developing reality show featuring comedians trying out for Saturday Night Live. Losing contestant will be forced to join the cast
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| (New Observer) |
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The top 10 worst jobs in science. Eight years of school to get jiggy with one of these professions
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| (wavy.com) |
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Texas teachers now have to explain to third graders that the three branches of government aren't the missionary, the doggy style and the hot carl
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| (Riverfront Times) |
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Residents heard to say about new bronze statue in village, "It looks like the boy has a tremendous boner."
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| (Rapid City Journal) |
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Mortal Kombat spins off Chess Kombat and Puzzle Kombat games
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Washington prosecutor tries to cut through the red tape by shooting defense lawyer
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| (Utne) |
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One-tenth of the world's crops are irrigated by untreated sewage. More green beans, anyone?
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| (Some Guy) |
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High card settles Nevada county's tie election
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F-16 fires on New Jersey elemetary school
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Icelandic volcano could send giant hazy cloud into mainland Europe, disrupting life everywhere except Amsterdam
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Confused by their new fangled billing system, Bell Mobility tells subscribers to "pay only what they think they owe"
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| (Some Dad) |
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Photoshop farker's kid for his 17th birthday. Degree of difficulty: No boobies, his mom may be looking
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| (ASU Devil) |
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Find out what your underwear says about your personality
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| (eurekalert.org) |
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New Jersey scientists given more funding for smart-gun technology. Still no cure for Jersey's odor
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| (cockeyed.com) |
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Burning question answered: How much cookie dough is in cookie-dough ice cream? Unified field theory one step closer
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Syracuse University offers class devoted to the hip-hop star's life
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Netscape intern editing CNN names pic of Bush "a$$hole.jpg." Unemployment ensues
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| (chinadaily.com) |
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Toy factory looking to hire 20 children as advisors at $12,000 annually
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Words you thought you'd never see together: Vatican Sex Guide
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| (LancasterOnline.com) |
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"Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas" gets two thumbs up
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| (NY Journal News) |
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Today's "extremely shiny truck spill" story brought to you by Mount Pleasant, NY
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Sci-fi fans called into an alternate reality
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In an effort to attract more worshippers, Canterbury Cathedral revives its 300-year-old tradition of serving beer
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America's prison system at work: Man released from prison, promptly goes home and stabs wife in the neck
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| (Hotel Chatter) |
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The best WiFi hotels
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| (Greenvilleonline) |
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Old and busted: pirate ship, new hotness: skycrane
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| (Some Guy) |
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Locusts invade Lebanon (with weird pic)
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Elizabeth Edwards diagnosed with breast cancer
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| (Starwars.com) |
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Photoshop the teaser poster for Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
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| (Some time traveller) |
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Scientists closing in on discovering why time flows in only one direction. Art Bell surrenders
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Computerized rat brain flies flight simulator. Sarah Connor unavailable for comment
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man, 46, survives jump into lion's den after trying to convert lions to Christianity (with pic)
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Like Franco before him, Arafat not dead
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| (Some Guy) |
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Rat causes school bus wreck. "The rat got underneath the gas pedal and she hit the brake, and that's when we went off the road," he said. "All I remember is being rolled around, like I was in a washing machine"
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Seattle Fark Party this Sunday 1:00 pm at Jillians. Drew's going to be there and hung over from the Vancouver party, let's have some beers and watch football
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Arafat reported clinically dead. PM denies
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Vancouver Fark Party this Saturday 8pm at the Jolly Taxpayer's Pub. Drew's gonna be in town, let's have some beers
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Email spammers found guilty. Sentenced to serve nine long years in a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison. Time to tell your cellmates not to buy penis-enlargement pills
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The softer side of rugby
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| (Some Astronomer) |
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The coolest pic you'll see today: NGC 7023, The Iris Nebula
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A fire that broke out more than 100 years ago at a Chinese coalfield has finally been extinguished. Burning coal emitted 100,000 tons of harmful gases -- including carbon monoxide, sulphur dioxide and 40,000 tons of ashes every year
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Roma Tre University makes students an offer thay can't refuse: Learn all about the Mafia in 20 hours
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Elton John wants to develop sitcom based on aging rock stars, claims "it's a little bit funny"
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| (The Strings Made Me Do It) |
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What if other popular movies were performed by puppets?
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Arafat enters coma. Aides claim he's just taking a long nap
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Texas man on death row commits suicide by hanging. Efforts to resuscitate him fail, denying the criminal justice system all the fun
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Kirstie Alley asks publicist to breast feed her pet possum
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Couple on fishing jaunt meet particularly gruesome end after getting caught up in the net roller
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Al Sharpton rescues man who was laid off from his job of shoveling manure
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| (Yorkshire Today) |
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Man buys tiny-ass beach hut, with no toilet, for $180,000
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Ohio avoids next "Florida" tag as Kerry concedes -- amusing because that's the actual headline, and true
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For auction: Michael Moore's relevance. Shipping is free because it's so tiny
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Liquid heroin found in fruit juice boxes labeled "Hit Fruit Drink"
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Why Bush won
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Groundskeeper finds grenade shell on Wrigley Field. Insert Cubs joke here
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| (Some Agnostic Insect) |
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Photoshop this mantis praying
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| Wed November 03, 2004 |
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New features of Beagle 3 lander include installing antenna on top and camera for live video of death plunge to surface
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Arafat nearly dead in French hospital. Israeli troops sent to help "stabilize his condition"
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Drudge: Ashcroft to resign in "next few days"
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Naked man boards moving jumbo jet after being refused ticket
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Serena Williams wears a see-through dress. The Yahoo is there
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| (wistv.com) |
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Man in small plane decides to go shopping at Target (with video)
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Staffordshire terrier talks and takes care of cats
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Five-year-old boy delivers baby
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Scientists set to launch Deep Impact at the end of year: "We're going to hit it and see what happens"
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Small company successfully patents the most obvious use of the Internet -- international sales -- and sues Dell
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Thirsty stranger enters home, leaves with beer. Hilarity ensues
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In-flight gambling next on the wish list. Blow your entire vacation budget before you even arrive
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New interactive Mr. Rogers museum lets your try on his Cardigan, play in the Neighborhood of Make Believe. Mr. McFeely still a little creepy
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| (Some Guy) |
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A minute-by-minute account of Dan Rather's descent into madness last night
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| (some Missourian) |
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Photoshop this arch
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Telemarketers finding their way around "Do Not Call" lists
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The bad news: "Stealth comets" could wipe us out. The good news: We won't see them coming
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For all folks giving up on the U.S. and moving to Canada, you've got a long wait ahead of you
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| (Ohio Secretary of State) |
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155,337 provisional ballots issued by Ohio counties
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| (rightsideredux.com) |
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One of Tuesday's biggest losers: Zogby systematically underestimated Bush support in every battleground state
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| (Free Lance Star) |
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Drunk man mistakes a real-estate office for his apartment. Breaks off two keys before letting himself in the back window with a brick. Jailarity ensues
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Looney in a wetsuit storms New York City's Governors Island, plants pirate flag, claims land for Captain Jack Sparrow
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Former Major League baseball player said he saw struggling pitchers have "rally beer" during games
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Tektronix dusts off 1987 patent on displaying 3D images; sues every major game publisher
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Kerry officially concedes
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High voter turnout could rival 1960 election. In other news, most high voters are Badnarik supporters, and will be casting their votes today
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| (Lileks.com) |
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Shaved cat butts, Vin Diesel fellating a soda bottle and other decorating miscues from the 1970s, courtesy of James Lileks
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Japanese businessman hopes to reduce international tension by introducing striptease acts to China
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A good way to get fans to come out to the ballpark is to hire a manager with a DUI, a bankruptcy and a conviction for threatening a woman
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Detroit is No. 1 -- and yes, it's for something negative
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Tuesday's other big loser: "Sen. Tom Daschle... became the first Senate party leader in more than 50 years to be voted out of office"
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Cell phones with television: Because some still think it's too safe to drive in America
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Kerry calls Bush, shares recipes, talks about twin daughters and something about conceding victory
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| (web.mid-day.com) |
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Man swallows seven-inch toothbrush while brushing. Doctors rush to remove it before Oral B becomes Anal B
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ballots for 40 Ohio precincts were driven off in a truck with a Bush-Cheney sticker in the window. With pics
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Man gets out of jail after paying part of child support by selling kidney
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| (WKRC) |
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With all votes accounted for, Junior the Black Lab wins mayorial race for Rabbit Hash Kentucky
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Everybody might appreciate that we have enough room for third parties in America, but nobody actually votes for them
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Statistical analysis of who voted for whom
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| (LancasterOnline.com) |
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Teen's KKK costume wins prize, suspension
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| (some space cadet) |
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Collaborative effort: Photoshop the new space race
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Angry, repressed, earthquake-formed lake threatens to attack residents below
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| (NOLA.com) |
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Big Easy college student holds class hostage by placing knife to his own neck. Students get up and walk away
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Uganda outlaws people from wearing "Avoid the Noid" and "Spuds MacKenzie" underpants due to suspect skidmarks
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| (M90.org) |
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Ashton Kutcher"s ex-girlfriend and current flamer, Brittany Murphey (safe for work)
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| (PhillyBurbs) |
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Motorist, attempting to stop gas station robbery, destroys front of building, wrecks car, then accuses innocent man. Moral: The road to hell is paved with heroic dumbasses
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Ohio official: "We don't think we've gotten enough attention yet. Count could take up to 11 days"
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Russian student turns two traffic cops into gay porn stars on web. Jailarity ensues (banner NSFW)
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| (wpmi.com) |
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Having babies will fark up your brain (with pics of MILFs-to-be)
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| (NCTimes) |
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Ten states pass ban on gay marriage
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Bloodsucking monkeys attack 300 kids
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Oil surges back to $51 as Bush nears win
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| (Some Passerby) |
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Photoshop this confrontation between dog and water
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Kerry campaign refuses to concede defeat in Ohio. CNN reporting that race is officially too close to call
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Fox News calls Ohio for Bush
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Fox News calls New Hampsire for Kerry
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ABC Announces Colorado goes to Bush
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| (The State) |
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South Carolina votes to get rid of minibottles
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| Tue November 02, 2004 |
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ABC announces Florida goes to Bush
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| (Poland) |
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Bush 197, Kerry 188, Poland 0. Link goes to Poland
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| (ksat.com) |
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Mentally disabled people bribed into voting for a candidate in return for ice cream, guess where. Nope, guess again
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: Helium-induced fits of rage
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Bush: 155, Kerry: 112
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| (PFT) |
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Three more states going red -- Bush regains the lead
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"I saw the media screw something up during live broadcast" discussion thread
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MSNBC calls NJ for Kerry, TN for Bush, PA OH NC VA SC MO and FL too close/early to call, plus some other states that went as expected. In other news, beer is good
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Fark 2004 election return discussion thread
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: if I were only one inch tall... (link goes to inspiration)
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Russian nuclear scientist takes 14 ounces of plutonium home to prevent it from being stolen during fall of Soviet Union, hands it back in after eight years
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Bush wins big in Kentucky. Further proof that Fark is a tool of the vast right-wing conspiracy
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Voters may have voted twice in Florida. Voters may have voted twice in Florida
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State-by-state electoral results, updated realtime
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| (Some Guy) |
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Thirty-three ways to enjoy the evening: The Official 2004 Election Drinking game. Feel free to add your own. Details in thread
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Canada, having nothing better to do today, determines acceptability of "kemosabe" and Lone Ranger's treatment of Indians in general
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| (WebIndia 123) |
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Survey says that women prefer sensible guys, instead of the ass who also nails their sister and wipes his junk on the curtains
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| (Real Clear Politics) |
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Seven out of 10 other polls have Bush leading
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Men from nude calendar offer free limo rides to voting stations. Women upset that they are arriving clothed
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| (Some Pollster) |
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Zogby's final prediction: Kerry 311, Bush 213, 14 up for grabs. Bush wins popular vote
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Poll asks "Which network and anchor do you trust most for the election?" Check out the results
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With no actual results back yet News media resorts to that age old time filling standby: Covering itself covering the election
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Drudge is reporting slight leads for Kerry in FL, OH. Bush wins Guam
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| (Stephen Elliott) |
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Republicans pose as Democrats with rainbow signs announcing Kerry/Edward Support Gay Adoption
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British Parliament considers outlawing parents' right to smack their own children. MPs need a time out
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Indian farmers use Coca-Cola as a pesticide
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Male viewers tend to have difficulties comprehending news when a pretty woman is on screen
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| (Bennington Banner, VT) |
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Man who brought loaded revolver to court says it was purely an oversight, as he's a big game hunter
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this NY apartment view
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| (SF Examiner) |
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Burglars steal $20,000 in rare wines without knowing their actual value, pawn them to liquor store for $300 and some cigarettes
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Larry Flynt turns 62 today. This headline will be funnier in seven years
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| (NBC4) |
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Baby dressed as John Kerry violates dress code at polling place; barred from entering
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Leader of the United Fascist Union, running for president, suggested the government, in exchange for highly advanced technology, had agreed to allow aliens to kill off most of humanity before populating the Earth. Who says the candidates are all alike?
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| (Union Leader) |
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Teens charged with "internal possession of alcohol"
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| (KCRG) |
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Iowa DJ tells Republicans to vote on Wednesday. Hilarity ensues
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| (theVoiceofReason.com) |
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Top 10 tips: What to say to confuse the exit pollsters today
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Don't take cholesteral-lowering drugs with grapefruit juice, or you'll turn into a girly man
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Man arrested for screaming outside election office while wearing George Bush mask and John Kerry t-shirt
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| (Inspiration) |
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UltraFastShop theme: Completely unexpected election results
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"Why you should vote for Bush" discussion thread
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"Why you should vote for Kerry" discussion thread
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"Why you should vote for neither Bush nor Kerry, but still vote" discussion thread
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"Why today would be a great day for Drew to spill beer on the servers" discussion thread
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"What the hell is that over there?" discussion thread
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Fark Presidential Poll. Voting enabled in thread. Submit any nominations you wish, make sure you enable voting on your comment. Multiple voting allowed, just like in Kentucky
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| (wpvi.com) |
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When stopped by a cop, don't tell him that the soda can in the plastic bag is what you used to smoke crack. Also don't say there's more cocaine in the suitcase
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| (CTV) |
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Great grandson of Vincent Van Gogh's brother Theo makes film critical of treatment of women under Islam. Hilarity does not ensue
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Man found living in cave in Los Alamos National Laboratory. Lived for years with wood-burning stove, solar panels connected to car batteries for electricity, pot and satellite radio
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| (howlowdidyougo.com) |
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Faking seizures with Alka-Seltzer to leave work and watch Super Bowl. Fans share their most shameful sports stories
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| (Cincinnati Enquirer) |
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In a ruling handed down this morning, people in Ohio can question potential voters' legitimacy before they try to vote. What could possibly go wrong?
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| (Caledonian-Record.com) |
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Bush wins in landslide, 19-7
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| (Winfield Courier) |
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Police looking for Halloween pranksters who attempted to rearrange hillside sign into something filthy. Police ask your help in deciphering their intended message
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"Show us your tits" sign lands Australian Army helicopter crew in hot water
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Not surprisingly, specially constructed "UFO Watchtower" has abnormally frequent sightings of extraterrestrial spacecraft
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Brosnan suggests Colin Farrell as sucessor. Will Farrell puts sequined tuxes on Ebay, was hoping for 007 makeover
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Some people literally on pins and needles over election
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British cops refuse to carry guns after shooting of man armed with a deadly table leg is ruled unlawful
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U.S. Election Day 2004: Put the beer down and go vote. Link goes to help for those new to the process
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this oceanic outcropping
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| (WebMD) |
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People who regularly sleep more than eight hours a night tend to die sooner
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On eve of Australia's biggest horse race, vandals glue doors to 25 betting shops shut
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| (Eureka) |
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Air bubbles in breakfast syrup could lead to vanishingly thin tubes and fibers for biomedical applications. Here comes the pancakes
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| (Union Leader) |
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Teen trying to throw CD out of buddy's car window has intimate encounter with highway
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Boy asks a simple question that takes the British Inland Revenue Service seven years to answer. The answer is obviously taxing
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| (Some Guy) |
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Seattle Fark party this Sunday at Jillian's, starting around 1:00 pm. Stop by, watch some football and drink beer with Drew
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| (NBC 30) |
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Paintball prank goes awry, Texas style
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What did you get for Halloween? "I got some candy." "I got some bubble gum." "I got a Rolling Rock"
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Woman accused of cutting off boyfriend's penis. You submitted this with a snippier headline
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| (Some Cache) |
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Photoshop this frosty photographer's self portrait
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Keyshawn Johnson says FOX sideline reporter Pam Oliver could use a spanking. Would no doubt draw higher ratings than a Cowboys game
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| Mon November 01, 2004 |
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Cornhole game in Midwest U.S. gains steam. Nothing like a steamy cornhole
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Election Day is tomorrow, but recounts have already begun today. Guess where
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Senate challenger says there is "rampant lesbianism" in some Oklahoma schools. Finally, a reason to move to Oklahoma
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Photoshop Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney helping remove a "Reverse Curve" traffic sign
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Topless 12-year-olds, thonged bartenders, no adults allowed -- what else could you ask for in a Bulgarian "children's disco"?
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| (KTRK) |
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Man blames pickles for losing control and slamming into nightclub
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Headline you'd never have expected a year ago: Oil plummets to less than $50 a barrel
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George Carlin joins Jon Stewart on Wal-Mart's banned list; responds to the decision with seven choice words
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| (Channel Cincinnati) |
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Olive oil may help prevent coronary disease. Popeye not impressed
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Babies who cry incessantly for no reason may be destined for lower IQs, pop-stardom
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| (College Humor) |
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Election eve Election Erection followup: Kerry 207, Bush 115 (not safe for work)
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Today's "most unlucky man" story brought to by Newcastle, horses and gambling
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| (FemaleFirst.co.uk) |
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Renee Zellweger ships her underwear home via FedEx due to all the attention airport security guards pay to her. Strip searches ensue
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| (MGB) |
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Presidential election to be decided by Columbus, Ohio resident Bill Zuklowski
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Arizona Diamondbacks hire Wally Backman as their new manager. Not clear how this will effect Backman Turner Overdrive reunion tour next summer
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| (Channel Cincinnati) |
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Heavy voter turnout expected tomorrow. No word on what the skinny voters will be doing
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Sperm to the rescue: Romanian workers donate sperm to save their factory from going bankrupt
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| (Indiana Statesman) |
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Man caught fapping at Indiana State University library
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Alaska's lone elephant will have to work for food
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Taxpayer dies of a heart attack after mistakenly being told he owes $23,000
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| (Some Gal) |
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Farkette just passed a co-worker's closed door and saw him, through the side light, standing on his desk shoving something up under the acoustic ceiling tiles. What wacky things are your co-workers up to today?
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Does GTA: San Andreas prepare kids to become murderers? Yes, the same way playing Madden 2005 prepares them for the NFL
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| (Initial Party Thread) |
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Fark party Tuesday night in NYC. Think VIP Room, our own pool tables, our own waitress, wireless laptops connected to Fark, big screen TVs, people to cheer or cry with, and plenty of life-affirming brews
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Witchcraft being forced upon Johannesburg students in the form of reading-comprehension tests
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Photoshop this beautiful Norwegian sunset
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| (KTUL) |
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Fish sandwich and can of Sprite ends hostage standoff
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It's gun vs. machete when asshats fight over the volume of stereo
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Barry Bonds fingered with steroid probe
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After devoting the first 45 minutes of SNL to making fun of the Ashlee Simpson debacle, music guest Eminem gets caught lip-syncing
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| (Rocky Mountain News) |
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Kevin Millar says the Red Sox all did a shot of Jack Daniel's before each World Series game (see end of column)
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| (KATV) |
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If you really have to take your fight outside, it's best not to take it onto the fast lane of an interstate
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| (Cartoon Network) |
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In a move to get viewers to watch something important on another network on election night, Cartoon Network decides to air the same episode of Harvey Birdman from 11:00 pm to 5:00 am on election night
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L.A. may begin cracking down on Venice Beach vendors. Apparently crappy t-shirts and fake watches pose a huge problem for society
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"Big butt goddess" 2004 elected
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Girl born without the ability to feel pain; must not be a Redskins fan
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| (allan bee) |
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Collaborative effort: Photoshop the New Space Race. (Teams, sign up here)
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Aggressive driver exits vehicle, gets punched by pedestrians. Grabs chainsaw from vehicle and chases pedestrians around with it
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Coming to a Wheaties box near you: 2004 Red Sox. Photoshop unlikely Wheaties boxes
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Teacher steals student's prosthetic arm
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| (IMS) |
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Protesters invade Victoria's Secret store, strip to lingerie and attempt to inform shoppers of VS's tremendous contribution to forest destruction and the clear cutting of much bush acreage. Hilarity ensues
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Quake volunteer smashes shop for not selling him beer
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Chess grandmaster arrested for headbutting policeman. He's just a pawn in their game
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| (Florida Today) |
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Police officer suspended for gassing neighborhood. Taco Bell surprisingly not involved
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| (The State.com) |
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Old and busted: Band-Aids. New hotness: Spider silk
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| (AP.org via Janesville Gazette) |
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When someone who voted early dies before Election Day, should that person's vote be counted? Here comes the political science
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Americans eat 45 billion sandwiches each year; 193 sandwiches per capita
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Cleveland clinic gets OK to perform first facial transplant. Potential clients include John Travolta, Nicholas Cage
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| (O) |
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Oprah presents the 50 best chick flicks of all time. Yes, "Aliens" is on the list
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| (WSLS) |
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College student arrested for forging Subway Sub Club stamps
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These are only a small percentage of links submitted. Join TotalFark to see them all! Link archives »
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