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| Sun August 22, 2004 |
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Two dozen fireman required to stop out-of-control ferris wheel at fire department fundraiser
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Man charged with murder for growing pot in his basement
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man wakes up, finds himself in coffin after assumed dead
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| (NZ Herald) |
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Murderer awarded $1,200 by asshat judge because he suffered hurt feelings, humiliation in prison
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Captured French American journalist released. The American in him prevented him from surrendering
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| (Some Guy) |
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Crossbow invented for the the wheelchair bound hunter
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School kids no longer allowed to play recess games that involve physical contact. This includes tag, dodgeball and pushing a kid on a swing
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The scientific body that sets the rules for naming and sorting animals, the International Commission on Zoological Nomenclature, is going broke, here comes the scientific confusion
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Beer company give away turns violent. Several bar towels injured
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| (Newark Advocate) |
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Officer who videotaped confession of a child rapist commits suicide
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| (Bozeman Daily Chronicle) |
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Man steals Montana State parking signs, leads cops on chase. Jailarity ensues
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Photoshop what you wish your school mascot was. (Link goes to GIS for "Lame school mascots")
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Russell Crowe challenges MikeTyson's ear chewing world title
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Tony Blair refuses US Congressional Medal of Honor
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Police pigs pull plug on pro-pot parade. Polite protestors pretty pissed
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Show me the most beautiful women in the world and I will show you someone who is tired of farking her
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British pigeons to be given foul taste to stop then being eaten. You dog wants a change of diet
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| (News 10) |
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Woman found a smoking dog poop in her yard, but after picking it up believes it could be a meteorite, with pic
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Normally crazy ass backwards appeals court chalks up another victory for P2P file sharing
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Further proof all the good records have been broken. Woman to spend over a month in a box with 6000 scorpions
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| (Helena Independent Record) |
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Old lady can find water underground with just two sticks
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| (Some Guy) |
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Moving pickup hit by lightning, creating fireball inside cab
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McDonald's celebrates 25th anniversary of Happy Meal
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Origami Convention hits Tokyo (with pic). Celebration of topical analgesics and band-aids to start in three days
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Movie depicting vampires invading Russia breaks all box office records. Things still suck in Moscow
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High-tech ant farms becoming popular with young Japanese
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| (Some Radioactive Breath Guy) |
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Godzilla turns 50. Photoshop him in any other classic movie. Difficulty: No Bambi. (Link goes to COOL official Japanese site)
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Man strangled to death in argument over $2 bowl of soup. "Soup Nazi" unavailable for comment
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| (Honolulu Advertiser) |
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125 years ago the ukulele came to Hawaii
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Cambodian baby born with tail, making parents a fortune as they charge 2,000 reil for a look (about 40 cents)
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US wants to build network of friendly militias to combat terrorism
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US wants to build network of friendly militias to combat terrorism
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| (WSBTV 2) |
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A woman ate 38 lobsters (9.75 pounds) to win eating contest
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Unprotected painting, 'The Scream,' stolen from Norwegian museum by armed thieves again
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| (Some Fanboy) |
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Photoshop this Superman wannabe - Up, up and away
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Reminder: Toronto Fark Party on Wednesday, August 25th. DIT
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If a client of the advertising firm you work at gives you a ticket to a Bush rally, don't be a heckler and expect to keep your job
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NERV detects massive asteroid impact site in antartica, begins Human Instrumentality Project
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| (China Daily) |
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'Miss Prisoner' beauty pageant held - talent competition includes license plate stamping & laundry washing
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If you see someone with a pink nose, it may not be alcohol induced
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| (Iran Focus) |
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Iranian judge orders 16 year old girl hanged for her "sharp tongue"
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| Sat August 21, 2004 |
| (Some Guy) |
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10 patents that changed the world
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| (The Nashville Scene) |
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Nashville Scene shows average Nashville students in the library, in bikinis and shirtless
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: Make Olympic sports you'd actually watch. Link goes to equestrian example
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| (HelenaIR.com) |
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Regardless of who wins the Montana gubernatorial race, their next governor will own a lot of guns
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| (The Gazette) |
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Seven Air Force Academy students booted for erotic dancing
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| (Some Guy) |
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Too drunk to drive? Just call up ScooterMan
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Boy suing mum for $3.5 million for crashing into tree when he was a fetus
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American playing "Indian" in EuroDisney Old West stunt show killed by German "cowboy" in after hours parking lot fight
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Man attempts to do two chicks at same time without million dollars
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Rolling stone kills 3-year-old in bed. How does it feel?
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| (Boston Herald) |
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Drugs not ruled out in death of naked guy running through restaurant stabbing himself and sticking his fingers in electric sockets
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Plans for a 40-kilometer tunnel machine has been revealed by scientists who believe the massive device could revolutionize how we understand the cosmos
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Major League pitcher ejected for wearing a dirty cap. Mother hopes he has clean underwear on
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| (Some Farker) |
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N. Kentucky passes law stating strippers no longer allowed to talk to customers. Oh well, just have to look at the boobies
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| (Some Guy) |
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A bed made especially for those who dwell in Detroit. Michael Jackson wants to trade in his hyperbaric chamber
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Even Liam Neeson admits Star Wars is now crap, and computerized stuff fails to connect to actors or audiences
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Scientists discover links between the month you were born and a predisposition to certain diseases
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| (AutoIndex.org) |
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From the "It Was Going to Happen Sooner or Later" Department comes the Mini Cooper limo, replete with triple axles, whirlpool and detachable roof
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| (Some Geek) |
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Risk 2210 A.D. lets you conquer the moon and beyond. Photoshop futuristic updates to other popular old-school board games
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Mayor of Glendale, CA calls Glendale, AZ a "little podunk agricultural town." Apparently not aware that Phoenix Coyotes and Cardinals both play there
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| (Boston Herald) |
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Arab sighting on Nantucket sparks terror alert. Police ask suspicious tourists, "Excuse me, sir, are you a terrorist?"
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| (Some Guy) |
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The 50 most influential Christians in America
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| (Florida's Attorney General) |
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Ah, disaster brings out the best of people: First of many hotels to be charged with price gouging in the aftermath of Hurricane Charley
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Slide show of cool hotrods
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Tony Blair dresses like a "binge-drinking hooligan"
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Giant moths invading the stadium where the Olympic archery contests are being held (with pic)
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Chicago Tribune editor and former swift boat commander breaks silence -- says Kerry critics wrong
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| (BricktownOKC) |
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Reminder: Oklahoma Fark party TONIGHT at the Bricktown Tapwerks. 7 p.m.
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Hindus and Muslims now rioting over parking spaces
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Adventurer shipped new mountain bike after ambush by Mongolians. City Wok owner proud to make the donation
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South Africa builds huge telescope so the world doesn't see them as a second-class country
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| (El Paso Times) |
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Judge sparks controversy by telling lawyers to "Get a life" and asking, "When is the last time you registered for anger-management classes?"
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| (Some Bovine Pusher) |
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Iowa Farker considering going cow tipping, shocked to discover pastime is a myth
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| (Popular Mechanics) |
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Internet-connected refrigerators are going nowhere. Come up with some better ideas for incorporating computers into appliances and other household objects
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| (Farker in boobie withdrawal) |
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Enormous rack (not safe for work)
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Woman returns to car to find €380 missing and dog vomiting
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| (klas-tv.com) |
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Homeowner wakes up at 2 a.m. to find his backyard neighbor in his house. Homeowner arms himself, hilarity does not ensue
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| (vnunet.com) |
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Microsoft issues patch for SP2. Your dog probably saw this coming
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Critics say "cup of coffee" law is too weak, too little too latte. "Grounds for review" say others. Hope this makes it through the filter, would perk up my day
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Man cut off in traffic by ambulance gets home, calls emergency number saying he has liver trouble, picks fight with responding paramedics
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This month's "impromptu farmers' market" story brought to you by truckers, fog, and I-80 in Wyoming. I-80 noted as the only highway in the world which is uphill and against the wind in both directions for 350+ miles. (with slideshow)
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Former toilet reopens as world's smallest commercial brewery
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| (Some Guy) |
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Pretty brunette... even with fake boobies (not safe for work)
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| (SomeGuy) |
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i;n sporry i caant typ[e gooodd wiht muy leftt hannd. nnot safe for work
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| (IMRA) |
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Palestinian prisoners demand private cell phones, refrigerators and toasters
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| Fri August 20, 2004 |
| (Some Actor) |
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AudioEdit your favorite film star ordering a meal at a fastfood drive-thru
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| (Honolulu StarBulletin) |
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Someone is stealing dogs for meat in Hawaii. Your dog does not want to be eaten
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop StrongBad in a Die Hard flick
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| (Some Gal) |
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Hot hunk (not safe for work)
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| (bostonherald.com) |
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Boston police shut down world's worst ice-cream truck driver. Wore his pants a little too tight and carried open jars of urine in his truck
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CAD software allows users to design something on home computer, order it online
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| (thedailystar.com) |
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When baking brownies for your local congressional candidate, do not store brownie mix on shelf below your broken arrowheads
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| (11Alive) |
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Man proposes with "Tammi, Marry Me?" in chalk on parking lot (w/pic)
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Seinfeld's Soup Nazi to open shops nationwide. No Fark cliches for you
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When mailing 86 pounds of marijuana, make sure you get the address right
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| (Some Guy) |
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Due to Hurricane Charley, 256 Florida inmates were given four-day passes if they promised to return. Turns out some of them couldn't be trusted
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| (Daily Mail) |
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Today's second traffic "jam" brought to you by a truckload of jelly on I-64
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| (MosNews) |
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Rafting tournament on sex dolls in Russia (pic somewhat NSFW)
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NASA calls on Hollywood to save the world as the sun begins falling
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Two-thousand-pound boulder rolls onto woman's legs. She escapes with a dislocated hip, cuts and scrapes (with picture of large rock)
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Kerry beats Bush in annual cockroach derby
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| (WPVI) |
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College president invites a dozen female students to live in his house to ease dorm overcrowding
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Norway's Civil Aviation Administration says cod is air-traffic hazard
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After being asked to wear bikini top during Hawaiian-themed promotion, bar waitress sues boss. Court awards her $6,000 for "injury to her feelings"
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Killer whale humping boats to death in B.C.
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these frightened Farkers
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If at all possible, avoid swimming with rabid otters
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Spraying bear repellent in someone's face is no way to gracefully lose an argument
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| (Press Association) |
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Canine plastic surgery and botox now available. Your dog wants a boob job
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Olympic organisers take Greek edition of Playboy to court. Sales going for gold
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Asshat attempts to use home defusing kit on military shell. What could possibly go wrong?
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PSA: If you're going to steal from a football player's charity, don't wear the stuff you stole during your next crime
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Missing camp counselors found murdered on beach. Authorities looking for man with giant hands, a hook, or noticeable limp
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| (Health India) |
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Study finds porn is good for you, not so good for kittens
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| (Some Farkette) |
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New Star Wars III posters
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Madonna buys Britney rare 12th-century book on the Kabbalah. In other news, Britney reads medieval Aramaic
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Brothel opens 100 meters from Canterbury Cathedral, for sin-and-confess one-stop-shopping convenience
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Teen decides to stand up in bed of pickup while his drunk friend drives. Darwinism ensues
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Mini dog saves woman from rape; bites man in both legs
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Silvio Berlusconi becomes total metrosexual, has facelift and possible hair transplants. In other news, Carson, Kyan, Thorn, Jai and Ted to be visiting Rome soon
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Having solved all other mysteries, sleuths use digital processing to answer questions about the JFK assination. Jessica Fletcher surrenders
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| (Some Astronomer) |
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The coolest pic you'll see today: "Raining Perseids"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop Farker Halah mounting some concrete corn
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| (Daily Times) |
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Osama bin Laden's cook arrested in Pakistan. Caught after applying for credit card
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Store owners sell winning lotto tickets to themselves
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English-speakers who want to become British citizens now have to pass a language test
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Which is dumber: Using a rental car in a bank robbery, or leaving the receipt for it at the scene of the crime?
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Veterans outraged as court frees drunk who had sex with World War I monument
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Member of Kerry's legal team tagged for picking up a hooker in Detroit
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| (Aberdeen News) |
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Court says it's okay to detain the only black man in South Dakota and search his car for driving 68 in a 65 zone
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Today's highway spill: 15 tonnes of eggs on German autobahn. Driver treated for shell shock
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| (Monterey Herald) |
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Sheriff's deputy put on administrative leave because his religious beliefs make him remove all his clothes and meditate in public while on duty
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| (Some Guy) |
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Sunken WWII US freighter a timebomb ready to blow. Could produce biggest non-nuclear explosion ever
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this guy watching out for foul balls
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Nintendo granted patent for online videogaming. All your XBox Live belong to Hiroshi Yamauchi
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City worker fired for evacuating mom during storm
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| Thu August 19, 2004 |
| (Herald Sun) |
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Two sisters shoot each others' husbands over property dispute
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Van Halen suing the Baltimore Orioles. Court to decide who sucks worse
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Asshat, wanted for murder, gets caught trying to beat subway fare
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| (Centre Daily) |
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Kentucky man finds baseball with Babe Ruth autograph
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Iran may strike U.S. troops pre-emptively before they become an imminent threat
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New machine that allows patrons to inhale beer coming to America
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Teens set world record by watching TV for over two days in an IHOP. Proud dad says, "He has to be good at something, this is just as well"
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| (Sports Illustrated) |
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UConn assistant coach arrested for offering undercover police officer $10 for oral sex. Duke sucks
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Lotto-winning rapist plans to "lure women with his wealth"
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The next mobile phone add-on: a tiny little helicopter
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Disgruntled Newcastle fan puts star player Kieron Dyer up for sale on eBay
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All-time top 10 pieces-of-crap software. Microsoft Bob is only No. 10
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French fencer gets sabre through the palm of his hand; doesn't surrender
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If you're planning to rob banks, make sure you're on good terms with ex-wife
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| (journal star) |
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"When I first walked in the room, it looked like the floor was just fur." Today's "146 cats in basement" story brought to you by Lincoln, Nebraska
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this ugly-ass newborn alpaca with its mother
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| (Bloomberg) |
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Oil hits new record high for the gabillionth time this month
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Miami Dolphins punter acquited after confusing Jesus with Rick James
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| (Oregonian) |
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Man extorts Dr. Seuss' widow, threatens to publish adult images of Dr. Seuss characters unless she pays up. Horton hears an ass-whuppin'
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| (WATE) |
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Al Gore busted for doing 77 mph in a 55 mph zone. But after a recount he was only cited for doing 75
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| (WMAQ) |
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Girl with explosive diarrhea craps herself after an Old Navy store refuses to allow her to use the bathroom (with pics)
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Brazilian singer disowns "Die, Bush, die" comment. Claims it was German for "The, Bush, the"
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Medical records sent overseas for typing. In other news, man's ear problems caused by "euston station tube malfunction"
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Hamm's Beer signs beer-guzzling bear as new mascot
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Woman gives birth on flight from Amsterdam to Chicago. Terrorism not suspected
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Masturbating judge resigns with full pension, lifetime supply of astroglide
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Citibank exec elected Prime Minister of Pakistan. Plans to menace world with nukes and deluge of credit-card offers
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| (The Advertiser) |
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Monkeys in Sudan are launching "organized attacks" on "soft targets." Government raises terror threat to banana yellow
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| (whbf.com) |
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Clerical error lands Ted Kennedy on the no-fly list, instead of the no drive-list
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| (Courier Journal) |
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Kentucky hunters expecting the best squirrel season on record. Fire up them George Foreman grills
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| (WTOP) |
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Survey shows teens like sex and drugs. Read more about this startling discovery in this month's issue of "Duh"
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Man trying to buy a car: "Jesus is my cosigner"
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Metro Nashville computer glitch schedules thousands on same court day for traffic tickets
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| (DeadBrain) |
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Barry Bonds faints while waiting for Burger King order. Varicose veins from standing around all day finally did him in
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| (NY Daily News) |
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Joe Piscopo thinking about running for governor of New Jersey. Campaign set with "I got chunks of guys like you in my stool" yardsigns and bumper stickers
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NBC commentators forced to eat own words as Paul Hamm wins gold
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Art-terrorists kidnap a fiberglass cow and threaten to execute it unless their demands are met
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World's tiniest surviving baby, weighing just 9.9 ounces and 10 inches long at birth, to begin high school next week
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Duties of new $66,000-per-year job for university president's wife include accompanying her husband to events
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| (WPVI) |
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Thieves break into convenience store, steal beef jerky, porn mags, ATM (with surveillance pics)
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The Naked Mayor checks into Betty Ford clinic
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Oprah momentarily sates her thirst for blood by finding a man guilty of murder
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Stern fan who ran onto the field waving a sign during a Mets game sentenced to weekends in pound-me-in-the-ass prison. "Any knucklehead who wants to run on the field should be prepared to lose both his weekends and his drinking money"
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Jenna and Barbara Bush may attend eyebrow waxer's gay wedding. In other news, the Bush twins have an eyebrow waxer?
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Overweight bank robber tries to hide from police in a ceiling. Hilarity ensues
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Closed borders result in record domestic hamburger-and-steak surplus in Canada. Now is the time for all good Canadian Farkers to fire up the grill and come to the aid of their country
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Swift Boat Veteran for Truth leader claims Kerry was "not under fire" during rescue. Strangely, the guy won a Bronze Star for being under fire during the exact same conflict
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Photoshop George Foreman in an unlikely scenario
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| (APP.com) |
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Lifeguards charged with disorderly conduct after swimming four miles home from banquet
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| (KTRK) |
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Ugly-ass baby elephant born at Houston Zoo (with pic goodness)
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Police unsure what charges to bring against drunk horse-and-buggy driver who caused drunk motorist to crash
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Cyber brawls spilling into the streets -- cities forced to pass ordinances to protect gamers
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"Fat Darrell" crowned as nation's best sandwich; "has that element of drunken ingenuity"
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54,000 cans of beer stolen. Canada in mourning
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| (Some Guy) |
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Christian playing cards. "I've got three Jebuses over two Virgins"
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The 25 biggest sports chokes of last 25 years
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McDonald's test marketing "deli-style" sammiches. Jared and Morgan Spurlock surrender
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| (Some Guy) |
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German men banned from standing while urinating
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| (MirrorUK) |
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New step-MILF Britney Spears admits that the last thing in her mouth was a dildo
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Microsoft launches geography classes for its employees
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Photoshop these stoned Olympians
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| (Winona Daily News) |
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City publishes names of people who refuse to pay for their water and sewer. Hilarity to ensue
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| Wed August 18, 2004 |
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Bikini-clad beach volleyball cheerleaders create stir in Athens, pants (w/pics)
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| (Wisconson State Journal) |
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Diary of a beer-tasting festival is reminiscent of "Flowers for Algernon"
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| (www.ubersite.com) |
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When under the influence of strange alcoholic concoctions, do not, under any circumstances, taunt cow
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| (pub.tv2.no) |
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Sand volleyball duo reprimanded by the IOC for wearing their birth control patches during Olymic events
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Scientists teleport information through sewer pipes
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| (Some Guy) |
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Paris Hilton decides change-room lineups are too long, tries on multiple shirts (sans bra) amongst stunned, aroused onlookers in department store. "What? Like you haven't seen them already"
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Surfer saves nine from flood. The Sun is there with classic picture
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| (Female First) |
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Jessica Simpson says she can't wait to run around her house naked
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| (weirdspot.com) |
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Following in the footsteps of his mentor, Dr. Semen Injector, Dr. Breast Licker gets caught in the act. Also, a specialist was required to confirm that "there was absolutely no reason why a dentist should be touching a patient's breasts" (
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| (TBogg) |
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Blogger offers a bounty for incriminating photos of GOP convention delegates philandering, visiting strip clubs or feeding sandwiches to Ann Coulter
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| (LancasterOnline.com) |
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Two all-beef patties / special sauce / lettuce / cheese / pickles / onions / and a bag of pot
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Nine out of 10 office workers will reveal their passwords in exchange for a cheap pen
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: The lesser-known exploits of famous historical figures. Difficulty: Weird Al already did Gandhi kicking ass
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Maxim throws its hat into the ring with pics of Olympic women (safe for work)
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1,500 people attend "Armpit of America" celebration
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| (Ft Myers News Press) |
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Hurricane Charley victims face new challenge: Following the directions on using generators, especially the "venting outside" part
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Hilton's dog magically returns after $5,000 reward is offered
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Religious scholars ponder the question, How Would Jesus Vote? "If ever there were a bleeding-heart liberal, it was Jesus Christ."
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Forgetting unimportant issues like bussing and low test scores, school board race focusing on big issues -- like removing school's Devil mascot
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Dash cam pics of naked Ohio mayor (safe for work)
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Norway's streets are paved with skeletons (with pics)
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Tinkerbell, Paris Hilton's dog, is missing. Reward of starring role in "film"
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Explorers discover ancient walled city in darkest Peru. Inhabitants appear to have worshiped a bear-faced deity with a taste for marmalade
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"Wow, you should be an honorary male," and other phrases to impress young female employees
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Man bolts job interview to stop truck thief; gets the job
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| (vnunet.com) |
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Over 63 percent of all email sent in the first half of 2004 was spam and every 12th one had a virus attached
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Britons have the world's loosest sex morals
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LeBron gets his own Powerade flavour which "truly reflects his personality." Working name of the drink is "Overrated Hype"
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Posters advertising New Mexico cultural event feature cactus that only grows in Arizona. Man living in basement of parents' house credited with discovery
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Four-hundred school bus stops in Florida county being forced to move due to 1100 pedophiles living nearby. In other news, 1100 pedophiles live in one Florida county
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| (KNBC) |
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Bald man auctioning the space on his head on eBay, hopes someone will pay $60,000 to place an ad. (With pics)
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| (GIS) |
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Today's Iron Photoshop ingredient: Chopsticks
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UFO-looking sea monster caught on tape. With pics
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World sheep shortage good news for Wales, bad news for rubber-boot manufacturers
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| (NBC 6) |
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Police are almost certain that the man they caught running down the street while on fire had something to do with the explosion at the nearby gas station
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Dungeons and Dragons turns 30. Still living in parent's basement
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It's hard being a student when the price of beer has risen by 60 percent
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Man's yard-long trouser snake scares swimmers
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Postman reunites old war buddies by delivering letter addressed to "Mr Adam Hastings, (Aged 70 years), Somewhere in Newcastle upon Tyne, Can a Kind Postman Help, Do Your Best For An Old Army Pal. (At One Time Lived At Benwell)"
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The bear went over the mountain / the bear went over the mountain / the bear went over the mountain... to drink a case and a half of beer
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Just another day: Do the wash, go out in the backyard, string up laundry on the clothesline, get struck by meteorite
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Group plays the lottery numbers included in a fortune cookie, win $525,000. In bed
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Fark trip to SkyDome, scheduled for Wednesday, August 25th. Details in thread
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Judge acquits college football player that he described as "guilty as sin" because a guilty verdict would end the player's career
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In honor of the movie premiere, photoshop this kid and his Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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| (Some Guy) |
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Krackel, Special Dark, Plain, Mr. Goodbar -- in that order
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People begin to figure out it's stupid to live in a mobile home in an area prone to hurricanes
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| Tue August 17, 2004 |
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Japan to lose 20 percent of population by 2050. Karaoke: The Not-So-Silent Killer
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When legislation fails, smashing cases of vodka will show them who's boss
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No child left behind, except for those seven kids from Texas living in a Nigerian orphanage
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| (Mass Live) |
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Knock knock. "Who's there?" "The huge black bear that just stole a bag of bird seed from you. Rwar." Sound of door opening. Sound of shotgun discharging. "Pwn3d"
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U.S. to give Cuba $50,000 hurricane aid. Cuba to give U.S. the finger
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Allen Iverson will have to suck with only nine fingers for the remainder of the Olympics
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Cat-hoarding wacko free to collect more cats
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On second thought, lighting your passed-out buddy's crotch on fire may not be a funny prank
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| (Jacksonville.com) |
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Photoshop this tornado-damaged Benz and the two rednecks admiring it
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Airport security staff used x-ray scanners to determine what items they were going to steal from passenger baggage
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Environmentalists, protesting overfishing, catch 11,000 fish, pile them near a major tourist attraction and put up signs saying, "Don't waste life"
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Firefighters rescue guinea pig from "Action Man" toy car
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Missing pregnant tortoise mysteriously reappears in a duffel bag
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Having solved all of society's other problems, the Welsh may ban strippers in limousines
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| (kfor.com) |
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Man says his dogs aren't dangerous. Of course, that blood covering the dog just came out of nowhere
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| (Riverfront Times) |
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Surprisingly only partially related to politics, rats invade St. Louis area
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We can curb the threat of global warming by doing dangerous things to the sea that we don't fully understand; but it would be foolish not to consider it
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| (Herkimert Telegram) |
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TOWN PASSES LAW BANNING LOUD CAR STEREOS
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| (Man Boobs) |
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Blindfolded morning-show DJ gets intimate with station listener named "Man Boobs." Was led to believe that he was copping a feel from a Penthouse Pet. (With nauseating pics)
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| (FortWayne.com) |
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Wendy's prompts hepatitis scare. Apparently, Wendy gets around
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Russian man not allowed to drink 62 liters of vodka in four days
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| (KMBC) |
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GM ruled not at fault in death of NFL star who was speeding and weaving in an ice storm while not wearing a seatbelt
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V: The Mini-Series. A 1983 television drama featuring love, action and an invasion of alien lizards who want to eat us
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People with "short vowel names" now have one less excuse for not getting any
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Miss Norway contestant revealed as porn star, blames "twin sister" in the U.S. (sfw pics)
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Dems, GOP to spend $60 million on commercials in August. Nader to spend $69.95 for a half-page ad in Sunday's paper
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| (Lancaster Online) |
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License of Dr. Semen Injector, DDS, revoked
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| (NewsNet5) |
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Cleveland-area former mayor found drunk, naked on lawn. No one living in Cleveland surprised by this
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Saudis launch ad campaign to convince Americans that Saudis are friends
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| (Redneck Central) |
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When your wife starts shooting a .22 thru the walls at you, get out of the house
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Who brings a kitchen knife to a robot brawl? (Cool videos)
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New York Jets unable to book hotel rooms in Indianapolis because Star Trek convention already has all the rooms
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Couple forced to marry by police because they pretended to be married when they checked into a hotel
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this breakdancing kayaker
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New research suggests doctors put cameras up people's butts too frequently
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| (MaineToday.com) |
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Todays "Man with sword holds off police" story brought to you by Skowhegan, Maine
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| (NewsNet5) |
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Rabid raccoons resist recently released remedy
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Booties or boobies? (Safe for work)
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Albany is the top party school in the nation. Duke sucks
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Olympic security in question after unidentified Canadian man clad in blue tutu interrupts diving event with impromptu bellyflop. Terrorism not suspected
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Today's bee-related story crashes into today's semi-tractor trailer accident story shutting down Interstate 94
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Man calls mum after his own funeral
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| (Some Jeep Guy) |
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Hummer H2: $50,000. Vanity plate: $300. Getting high-centered on a tree stump and pulled off by a 20-year-old beater Jeep: Priceless
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Man fined $750 for biting mouse ass
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Beatdown occurrs in French field over genetically modified corn. I for one welcome our new maize overlords. Pass the butter and salt
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Little Rock plans to clean out the homeless to prepare for grand opening of Clinton library. Interns shipped in to replace them
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AudioEdit a call on "Car Talk." Difficulty: Accents
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Goats are taser-proof
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SBVFT initial ad generates $400k to pay for more ad time
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Oprah selected for jury duty. "I'm just hoping it doesn't take longer than a week because I've got shows to do"
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Theme: If corporations could run for political office...
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Not to worry if you die, Costco Wholesale Corp. has you covered
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| (Medical News Today) |
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Hands up all you parents who think your kids aren't having sex. Half of you are wrong
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| (German People) |
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Leave it to the Germans to find 32 ways to open a beer
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| (The News-Review) |
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Man sets new world record by ripping 39 phone books in three minutes, still unable to open a jar of pickles without help (with pic)
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High-wire performer at Renaissance Festival falls, breaks ye olde arse. Hilarity doth ensue, verily
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| (Bricktown OKC) |
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Reminder No. 1: Oklahoma Fark Party this Saturday, Aug 21, at the Bricktown Tapwerks. Festivities begin at 7 p.m.
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| (Cafe Du Lac) |
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Fark party, Amsterdam, Netherlands: Friday 10th September
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| Mon August 16, 2004 |
| (Sally Fields Forever) |
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Photoshop these nuns clamming
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American anarchist group members debate voting in November election
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| (Chillicothe Gazette) |
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Woman wins Homemaker of the Year title two years running. Scores perfect 10 in Chicken Pot Pie Making and Beer Fetching (w/pic)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Bush shuffling all his armies -- everyone looks on with bewilderment
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God misses chance for Old Testament-style smiting as Michael Jackson attends church and visits Sunday School children; leaves unscathed
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| (Fairbanks Daily News-Miner) |
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Alaskans seriously pissed off after vandals kill famous tree
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Creator of artificial trees dies at age 72. Will be buried in artificial coffin under grove of fake dogwoods
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Russian rubles more protected against counterfeiting than U.S. dollar
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Insect-fighting ring busted. Starship Troopers unavailable for comment
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Government creates video games for food-stamp recipients. Apparently, milk should be stored in the fridge or, failing that, a cool wet sack
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Israelis to barbecue outside jail cells of hunger strikers
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Encyclopedia Brown solves the case of the mystery dog crap in the Connecticut state capital building
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Annoyed commuter starts own train service
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Pakistan: Bin Laden trail is still cold, chances of finding him are slim until at least late October
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| (Boston Herald) |
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Comcast mistakenly broadcasts porn instead of Red Sox game
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| (Newsfilter.org) |
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Carolina Marconi (not safe for work)
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In a strike of reality TV comedy gold, it is discovered that John Gotti's family was videotaped while they visited him in the can. The Smoking Gun is there
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| (Some Guy) |
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Gallery of blogger babes (as far as we know). (Not safe for work)
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| (Pandagon) |
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Amusing first-hand account of alleged Arab terrorists by uber-sensitive passenger. Confirmed evidence of terrorists: Overstuffed McDonald's bag and Z-shaped seating pattern
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Hey TotalFarkers: You can now sponsor TF subscriptions for other Fark-liters via the TF signup page (see link) -- Drew
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Olympic opening ceremony fireworks set fire to local park
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| (Some Findlaw) |
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Archaeologist finds cave in Israel linked to John the Baptist. Skeptics doubt veracity of claim, as "Clapton is Yahweh" graffiti appears on cave walls
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Soon, it will no longer be necessary for European tourists to translate the phrase, "My hovercraft is full of eels"
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| (Poughkeepsie Journal) |
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Nude photo shoot draws almost 2,000 to abandoned train station
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Reuters figures out why we're all watching beach volleyball
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Angry midget robbing Houston rail riders
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| (eagerbeaver) |
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Photoshop this eager man playing with his even more eager dog
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| (Houston Press) |
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Take a cow to Dairy Queen next week and get a free drink
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Spitz's record of seven gold medals, worst mustache, still safe
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Satan's minions print Nebraska newspaper backward. Your paper-fetching dog wants a pentagram
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Donkey cart beats Porsche in road race. Need for horsepower questioned
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U.S. tanks approach shrine. Overweight old men in funny hats seen scrambling away in go-karts
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Air France told a woman with no limbs that a "torso cannot possibly fly on its own." Obviously did not believe that a "torso" can still sue them back to the Stone Age
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In addition to being crappy, AM radio may cause leukemia
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Wales publishes guide for asylum seekers, in Welsh
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Pathologists mix up two dead bodies, but persuade relatives that humans change after death
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Fine for rude gesture: $162. Giving said gesture while crossing finish line and winning medal: Priceless
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Pack this bad boy next to your grenade-shaped deodorant and your gun-shaped novelty toothbrush to guarantee lengthy delays at every airport on the planet
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| (Iowa City Press-Citizen) |
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Ornate bowling ball missing. "(Jim) always liked to see the yard look nice"
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British film crew finds last American defector still living in North Korea. Army private crossed over in 1962 says he's "glad he did it"
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New Jersey: Where the weak are killed and eaten, and the homosexual, adulterous governor gets a bump in the polls
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Chavez claims victory in recall vote or coup attempt or whatever it is today
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I'm the hump
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The Bush Administration's employment record, explained in a way even farkers can understand (not safe for work)
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Royal chair = £250. Royal curtains = £200. Royal painting ruined by policeman falling off Royal chair = Priceless
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this punk splitting with your frisbee
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Ancient Indian math shortcuts help modern students
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Miller cans honor rockers like Bon Jovi and Def Leppard, but not like Chuck Berry or James Brown
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Liechtenstein prince hands throne to his son -- world power balance badly shaken
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Mary Kate and Ashley to have $7.5 million "dorm room," complete with Bob Saget DVD's and a toilet to throw up into
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| (glamsham.com) |
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Daler Mehndi is BACK. King of Bhangra rides again on his soon-to-be-released album, "Shaa Ra Ra Ra"
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| (NY Post) |
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NYC skateboarder falls onto red-hot manhole cover -- now she has "CON ED" branded on her bottom
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Spear guns aren't just for fishing anymore
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Cold weather slowing down the wooly adelgid. Here comes the science
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