You might try our Headline Search for easier navigation here.
These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
NEW To Fark? Find Out HOW TO FARKX
| Sun July 25, 2004 |
 |
|
Photoshop the blue ballerinas
|
 |
|
Tom Green and Jerry Springer to co-host TV show. Kill me now
|
 |
|
Sunspot grows to 20 times the size of Earth. Planet prepares for possible major solar storm
|
| |
| (Some Rodent) |
|
Play the original "Lemmings" online
|
 |
|
Three teens charged with murder of a 17 year old using scythes as weapons - grim reaper unavailable for comment
|
 |
|
Kerry makes whistle-stop tour from a Rolls Royce factory
|
 |
|
Football ref decides red card just doesn't have the impact it once had
|
| |
|
Scientists consider sending probe to the big, kinda glowy thing in the sky
|
 |
|
Shrimp make better bandages
|
| |
| (Mlive.com) |
|
House bill will pay tobacco farmers $9.6 billion and remove quotas that limit the amount they can grow
|
| (Some Devil) |
|
In honor of the Tour de France, photoshop our old friend Didi "El Diablo" Senft
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Small kitten doing better after being shot twice with BB gun
|
 |
|
Some people visit CVS stores to buy a comb. Others enjoy the opportunity to prove toe-sex freaks have social lives, too
|
| (Winston-Salem Journal) |
|
New York mob family Bonnano going down in flames as gangsters rat each other out. Flattop, Itchy and The Brow unavailable for comment
|
 |
|
Egypt beats everyone to Great Pyramid wonder, gets 2x grain from each square surrounding city. Parlays this into increased warriors, then threatens Iraqi militants
|
 |
|
Has porn's proliferation desensitized us to its power?
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Save the mighty chili-cheese buritto
|
 |
|
TV networks are going to devote to six hours to conventions, one-tenth the time we devote to choosing an "American Idol"
|
 |
|
Going to the Democratic convention in Boston? Then learn how to talk like a local
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
New high-tech passports to be embedded with computer chips that hold a traveler's digitized photo and fingerprints
|
| |
|
Ol' one-nut Lance Armstrong wins sixth Tour de France
|
| |
|
Photoshop this sign-abiding farmer and his shouldered load
|
| (KFYR) |
|
Fifteen-foot-long fossil of giant sea turtle found in North Dakota
|
| (Some Farkette) |
 |
A few good men for the ladies (not safe for work)
|
 |
 |
Bullz-Eye's brunettes gallery (safe for work)
|
| (NECN) |
|
Nine New Hampshire VW enthusiasts videotape themselves driving like asshats on their way to a VW gathering. Pulled-over-larity and moving-violation-larity ensues (with incriminating video)
|
 |
|
Nader submits 5,400 signatures to get on Michigan ballot, 24,600 short of the requirement. Michigan Republicans then submit 43,000 signatures on his behalf
|
 |
|
Teen with cross-burning hobby "accidentally" lights up a piece of cardboard near a small garbage can filled with gasoline
|
 |
|
New ATMs dispense DVDs, not cash. Netflix surrenders
|
| (Idaho State Journal) |
|
New PETA protest has two people making out in bed on a public sidewalk showing that vegetarians are better lovers
|
| (Billings Gazette) |
|
Judge rules that Frito-Lay chips do not taste better than other brands
|
 |
|
Aliens using email to seduce earth women. Will use alien email porn to seduce earth men
|
| (Austin Business Journal) |
|
South Koreans hint at outsourcing more tech jobs to under-educated Americans. Young South Koreans angry, wonder who will pay their student loans
|
 |
|
Equipment by Odai Hussein used to torture failed Iraqi Olympians on display
|
| (NDPS) |
|
Nevada's 10 Most Wanted list
|
| (Some Bhuddist) |
|
Interactive teachings of Zen. Clicky clicky, Grasshopper
|
| |
|
Eighty-year-old granny drugs, mugs and robs victims to support her gambling habit
|
| (NY Daily News) |
|
Puff Daddy's bling bling gone gone
|
| (fox sports) |
|
College football is coming, so here are the Heisman contenders
|
| (kvoa.com) |
|
Illegal immigrant decides hurling rocks at pursuing Border Patrol chopper would secure his freedom. It didn't
|
| (Some Artist) |
|
In the "this can't be real" category: Genetically engineered cactus grows human hair instead of spines
|
 |
|
Anonymous lottery winner sends multi-million dollar winning ticket to local government to assist disaster victims of recent heavy rain storms and flooding
|
 |
|
After just 5 seasons in the NFL; Ricky Williams retires. Barry Sanders looks on in approval
|
 |
|
Greece's baseball team says it can't afford to travel to the Olympics
|
 |
|
Man dies in hospital lounge after waiting more than 17 hours to be admitted
|
| (PeopleFallingOver.com) |
|
Man imitates Wile E. Coyote: Flattened by own steamroller
|
| |
|
Photoshop Cuba Gooding, Jr. fakin' the funk on his bike
|
 |
|
In honor of the new Star Wars title, Revenge of the Sith, suggest a more appropriate name. (Voting enabled)
|
| |
|
George Lucas reveals new Star Wars title: Return of the Increasingly Irrelevant Sci-Fi Franchise
|
 |
|
Next up: JK Rowling and the exploding penis
|
| |
|
McDonald's frozen yogurt parfait, now with marijuana. Hamburgular sought for questioning
|
 |
|
A penis alone does not a man make
|
 |
|
Bush a big winner at World Stupidity Awards
|
 |
|
The Maxim Fallacy Baseball Babes gallery (vid and pics SFW)
|
| Sat July 24, 2004 |
| |
|
Man gets 10 years for doing nothing. Seinfeld sues for copyrights infringement
|
| (WLTX.com) |
|
Police using skunk's ass to keep people away from abandoned buildings. Pepe Le Pew unavailable for comment
|
| |
|
Six of the world's best female athletes have spent their lives honing these bodies to perfection. The least you can do is gawk
|
| (kentucky.com) |
|
Ashley Judd's mother yells out in theater as Ashley's new movie stops mid film
|
| (Rasmussen Reports) |
|
Kerry leading Bush in electoral vote polls
|
| |
|
Bush leading Kerry in electoral vote polls
|
| (FOX Sports) |
|
Lance Armstrong receives death threats
|
| |
|
F-16s will patrol the skies over Boston, rumors of Fark meet-up cited
|
| (Buffalo News) |
|
Man rescued from Niagara falls after launching a raft made of an inner tube, a luggage rack and a rug (for comfort), and using a shovel for a paddle. Police say ignorance and drugs were a factor
|
| |
|
Dogs can develop Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Your dog wants Zoloft
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Baseball game breaks out for Yankees and Red Sox fight teams
|
| (Some Draught Lovin' Guy) |
|
Forget the farkin' towel and have some Guniness ice cream instead
|
| (Montgomery Advertiser) |
|
Wealthy countries outsourcing labor to Alabama, AKA the Bangladesh of the South
|
 |
|
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned: She cut off his junk and stuffed it in his mouth
|
 |
|
In honor of Jesus appearing in a window in Texas, photoshop window images less likely to draw pilgrims. (Link goes to the aforementioned Jesus)
|
| (Buffalo News) |
|
Federal building for sale -- includes indoor firing ranges, shatter-proof mylar windows and a gun turret
|
| |
|
Having solved all of the city's other problems, Los Angeles City Council considering a ban on silly string
|
 |
|
Dustin Hoffman and wife save woman's life after she was stung by bee in Malibu: "I thought, 'I can't believe I'm being rescued by Dustin Hoffman, but I'm dying anyway'"
|
| (bunnypumper) |
|
New high efficiency appliances = less profit = charge MORE for using less
|
| (www.fyiwinnipeg.com) |
|
Vandals smear drywall plaster on PT Cruiser, leave every other car alone
|
| |
|
Beware the Boob-onic plague
|
| (Some storm guy) |
 |
FARK's favorite brass-balled stormchaser says, "Hey, lets make a bone-chilling tornado video." With pants-wetting goodness
|
| |
|
Armstrong has virtual lock on Tour De France
|
| (MLB) |
|
Irrefutable proof that any fool can become a Major League umpire
|
 |
|
Some jackass is crapping on the playground equipment at Waterfront Park in downtown Louisville
|
| (Montgomery Advertiser) |
|
Woman wearing only a bra robs cleaners. Male witnesses unable to give a description of her face
|
| |
|
A bicyclist performed CPR on man until firefighters arrived, then rode off without mentioning his name
|
| (scrum.com) |
|
All Blacks beat Springboks in dying seconds
|
| |
|
U.S. sending Special Forces to the Olympics. Photoshop them in your favorite competion
|
| |
|
Cassini spacecraft sees lightning on Saturn. No word about the rings around Uranus
|
| (WJZ) |
|
Rare, ugly-ass albino crab caught in the Chesapeake Bay (with pic)
|
| (Some Metalhead) |
|
Pantera officially disbanded. No more waiting for the turning point
|
 |
|
How the greatest game of all time came to be. Now hyperspacing from Lave...
|
| (Women.MSN) |
|
Hangover cure from "expert" includes eating a kiwi and a broth made from bouillon cubes
|
| |
|
Woman exchanges 1,300 firearms for $65k in police guns-for-cash program
|
| (Some Oversleeper) |
|
New Japanese alarm clock fills bed with compressed air, forcing you on your feet
|
| |
|
Paris Hilton and Nick Carter call it quits -- both claim to be "focusing on careers"
|
| (NC Times) |
|
Today's "elderly woman with 235 pet chihuahuas living in her filthy home" story is brought to you from Lancaster, NC
|
 |
|
One man vs. 15 glass panels; glass panels win
|
 |
|
"Hoax-busting" science center expands. Mythbusters unavailable for comment
|
| |
|
Italian town bans the use of small animals as competition prizes as well as outlawing goldfish bowls
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
The science of getting rich
|
 |
|
World's most expensive car sells for $4.6 million (with pic)
|
| (WTAE-TV) |
|
Though most teen pregnancies are accidental, a substantial number of girls want to get pregnant, according to a new study
|
| |
|
Ten cool facts about how the ancient Olympics began
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Cutie wearing Fark apparel (barely SFW)
|
| (The Greenville News) |
|
Couple robbed at gunpoint -- husband wimps out and tries to run away alone
|
| (SI.com) |
|
The top five Major League Baseball announcers
|
| (WWacky) |
|
New invention allows the elderly to walk around with their left ear flashing for several miles
|
| |
|
Study finds TV/radio transmitters not linked to cancer, even though those suckers can illuminate an isolated light bulb better than Uncle Fester
|
| |
|
American model wins most desirable Ukrainian football player. Hot pics (SFW)
|
| (SI.com) |
|
The top five college basketball announcers
|
 |
|
Dumbass faker faces fury of his friends after faking winning a £2.4million Lotto jackpot
|
| (NBC) |
|
The Schoolhouse Rock quiz should help you waste 20 minutes tonight
|
| (Gizmodo) |
|
World's most unsanitary objeccts
|
| |
|
Woman files fake carjacking claim. Allows police to search her home. Police find not-so-fake video of her husband having sex with a child
|
 |
|
Boston Fark Party Saturday July 24th, 7pm at JJFoley's. Come on down and have a beer with Drew and his dad
|
 |
|
Judge rules curfew unconstitutional
|
| (kfor-tv) |
|
Cell phone towers might be used to help detect tornadoes. No word on wheather Sprint will charge $5/month for this service
|
| |
|
Ugly-ass rare Tennessee Fainting goat born
|
| |
|
Ken Jennings smashes the one-day Jeopardy. record earning $75,000, now has won more than $1.3 million
|
 |
|
Middle Eastern man tried to break through a wall to the cockpit
|
| |
|
Winnipeg Fark Party, this time it's for real
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Theme: Coke vs. Pepsi -- the final showdown
|
| Fri July 23, 2004 |
| |
|
Steakhouse asplodes
|
| (pfir.org) |
|
An "emergency" conference aimed at preventing the imminent "meltdown of the Internet" soon to convene in Los Angeles
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Will a hoverboard ever truly exist? These guys think so
|
 |
|
Coastal Maine has been enveloped in a strange, almost human-like fog for the past several weeks. Sporradic reports of giant spiders unavailable for corraboration
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Youth foils armed burglers by not opening the door to let them in
|
| |
|
Kirstie Alley to star in a reality show called "Fat Actress"
|
| |
|
Waitress who persuaded drunk customer to run head first into a wall is cleared of manslaughter
|
| |
|
Electrical worker disconnects nuke plant emergency alarm, which went undetected for several days. Homer Simpson called in to investigate
|
 |
|
Teens build hiker's cabin in woods for free public use -- government knocks it down
|
| (some girl) |
|
Hot guy with nice abs (not safe for work)
|
| |
|
Condom necklace sparks outrage at a county fair
|
| (ABS-CBN) |
|
Eight-story building collapses in Manila, Philipines (pic)
|
| |
|
Russia claims to have Soviet version of SpaceShipOne. Must not work too well because apparently, this is their 21st one and we just heard about it now
|
| |
|
Microsoft says it has a "long-term commitment" to outsourcing jobs to India
|
 |
|
The reason you should tap a can of soda before opening it
|
| (Daily Times) |
|
Man, ordered to stand trial for assault with a deadly weapon on a police officer, claims he has computer chips in his head and that NASA wants him dead
|
| |
|
Latest virus on the intarweb: "Click this file to see Osama's suicide video"
|
| |
|
Pentagon finally finishes forgery of Bush's National Guard payroll records
|
| |
|
Huge carrier USS John F. Kennedy collides with a small non-nuclear vessel. All of the Kennedy's crew and aircraft were accounted for
|
 |
|
Washington takes away man's "GOTMILF" license plate. Britney's application for "SMILF" still in the works
|
| |
|
The top five hockey announcers
|
| (Some Knight Rider Fan) |
|
"Knight Rider" car for sale on Ebay. Sorry, shag-carpet chick-catching chest attachment not included
|
| (NASA) |
|
Experiment set up by Apollo 11 astronauts is 35 years old and still going strong
|
| (WWdN) |
|
Photoshop a homeless Wil Wheaton sleeping in a garbage bag
|
 |
|
New glasses have detachable arms that can be used as chopsticks. I have sushi in my ear
|
| |
|
Why it is unpleasant to bite foil. Here comes the science
|
| |
|
Iraqi minibus tries to pass another car, ends up playing chicken with a U.S. tank
|
| (China Daily) |
|
Moms asked to donate breast milk for baby chimps. Your chimp wants boobies
|
| |
|
Eighty-foot rogue waves cruising the ocean (pic)
|
 |
|
Japanese council approves human cloning
|
| (Boston Channel) |
|
Kerry becomes latest victim of the ol' garlic-powder-in-an-envelope prank. Secret Service seen beating the living crap out of Ashton Kutchner
|
| (News-Press) |
|
Old and busted: Overblown coverage of shark attacks. The new hotness: Overblown coverage of gator attacks
|
| (WishTV) |
|
Okay, we're out of fireworks. What if I soak my shirt in gas and you set it on fire?
|
| (Some Blogger) |
|
Owner of pizza parlor across from Democratic Convention gets pissed at ever-changing security rules ruining his business, goes on vacation for convention, puts up giant pro-Bush banner
|
| |
|
Monty Python tops list of 50 most influential TV shows
|
| (Washington Times) |
|
Man emerges from five-month coma after his father promises to buy him a Corvette if he wakes up
|
| (Nerve.com) |
|
Farker and comedian extraordinaire Sherry Davey does a naughty interview with Nerve
|
| |
|
Particle physicists recover old recordings. (Warning: tin foil reference)
|
| (KUSA) |
|
Homeowner, known for experimenting with rockets and fireworks, goes out with a bang
|
| (Amarillo.com) |
|
When a man in protective clothing tells you to run to get away from killer bees, it's best to do what he says
|
 |
|
Man complains to police that someone broke in and stole his cannabis plants. Police unable to charge man as there is no longer any evidence
|
| (Miami New Times) |
|
That crazy mayor Xavier Suarez is trying his hand in politics again. This time pledges no dead people will vote, maybe
|
| |
|
Things to do today: 1) Buy new matress 2) Report wife missing 3) Run around hotel nekkid wearing only slippers. Check, check and.... check
|
| |
|
Coke remains king of brands, narcotics
|
| (Final, Final Notice) |
|
San Diego Fark Party tonight! 6:30pm at the Downtown Rock Bottom Brewery
|
 |
|
AudioEdit some out-takes from the new Beatles tapes discovered in Australia
|
| |
|
Greenland invading North Pole to liberate the elves. Chirac denounces invasion, calls for a UN resolution
|
| |
|
Smoker fined for throwing butts on ground
|
| |
|
One thousand chickens escape from crashed lorry, cluck up traffic
|
 |
|
Man struck by lightning says he feels "lighter and 100 years younger" than before accident. Being fitted for cape and mask to conceal secret identity next week
|
 |
|
Cops find thousands of pot plants, are waiting for owner to return home from vacation. Expect him to be surprised
|
| |
|
Jack Black is the Green Lantern. Photoshop other celebs who are dead-ass wrong for a superhero role
|
| (Forbes) |
|
Despite all that talk of "we only make pennies per gallon" on gasoline, Sunoco posts triple the profits
|
| (Some Yachtsman) |
|
Got six mil burning a hole in your pocket? Buy your own aircraft carrier. Hiro protagonist surrenders
|
| (WTOP) |
|
MLB: MTL to DCA or IAD. Sorry LAS, MTY, ORF, PDX and SJU
|
| (Stuff) |
|
Can't get enough of Carmen Electra (safe for work)
|
| |
|
Federal government exterminates Idaho's largest wolf pack after they killed more than 100 sheep
|
| (KFSN) |
|
Female passenger bites male driver's forehead, causing an accident; seals the jailarity deal by spraying the responding cop in the face with WD-40
|
| (wkrn.com) |
|
Snowplows called out to clear bug carcasses from Minnesota roads
|
| |
|
British police: All your DNA are belong to us
|
| (BadJocks.com) |
|
New Zealand couple watching TV see their daughter streak through rugby practice with marriage proposal to star player written on her belly (with pic)
|
| (Some Poet) |
|
Threats in rhyme are not a crime. The judge says so, and charges go
|
| (CNEWS) |
|
Panic spreads in Nigeria over cell phone numbers rumoured to cause death
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Drunk teen races stolen car, crashes into power pole, escapes burning car, steals ambulance, drives 100 yards, gets stuck in powerlines
|
| |
|
Theme: What the Mormon church will do with their 10 percent of Ken Jennings' loot
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Boobs with a view (not safe for work)
|
| |
|
Reality TV's latest: "Sperm Race"
|
| |
|
Newfoundland mayor wants government to prevent his icebergs from being made into vodka
|
| Thu July 22, 2004 |
| (ill Will Press) |
|
New Foamy. "No group orgies, you nipple-piercing whore"
|
| |
|
House votes to enforce 10th Amendment, ignore 14th Amendment, to prevent "activist judges" from ordering states to recognize gay marriages
|
| |
|
Thirty-pound barracuda jumps into boat and bites man. Extreme fishing is invented
|
 |
|
Kiefer Sutherland strips at New Zealand club, wows small-town crowd
|
 |
|
Drunk offers bear a biscuit, pulls back bloody nub
|
| |
|
Unamused, Canadian postal service imposes ban on dog biscuits shaped like postal workers
|
| (wbir-tv) |
|
Two men arrested for drunk driving; sue station that sold them gas
|
| |
|
Photoshop this scary hot air balloon
|
| (SPTimes) |
|
After you steal a boat from someone, don't enjoy it in the water directly behind their house
|
| |
|
McDonald's profits on the up thanks to their new healthy choice menu that we all ignore
|
| |
|
Jerry Goldsmith, composer of "The Waltons" and "Star Trek" themes, dies
|
| |
|
Interstate shut down after tanker leaks chromic acid for miles. Dissolving tires was first clue
|
| (Anchorage Daily News) |
|
Wrong Mike Miller receives Senate candidate's messages. Obscene e-mailarity ensues
|
| |
|
Top five of richest supermodels in the world
|
| |
|
Captain of Turkish merchant vessel off coast of Delaware, impatient with a routine Coast Guard inspection, blurts out he has bomb on board. Hilarity ensues
|
 |
|
For a mere $41k, you can own your own inflatable church. Now you can make an honest woman out of your inflatable girlfriend
|
| (Blender) |
|
Interview with The Cure's Robert Smith. Includes pics that show why being a middle-aged goth is even more embarassing than being a goth at all
|
| (The News Journal) |
|
Man's vanity plate reading "NO TAG" gets him 200+ tickets
|
| |
|
Soon the Dutch will be so big and fat they won't be able to fit in the Netherlands
|
| |
|
Boston Fark Party Saturday July 24th, 7pm at JJFoley's. Drew will be there
|
| |
|
Ripped fiddler crabs help puny neighbours in fights
|
| (Dominion Post) |
|
Things not to say while you're robbing a bank: "Call 911, I'm robbing the bank." Obviously, jailarity ensues
|
| |
|
Government minister tells people who don't understand benefit program to call him. His phone hasn't stopped ringing since
|
| |
|
Woman drops rare coin worth over $1000 in parking meter. The good news is she can park there for 333 days
|
| (Press and Journal) |
|
Zip-slide organisers belatedly realise participants may be wearing kilts, exposing weeners
|
| (Paul Revere) |
|
Photoshop this wiffle baller
|
 |
|
Scientist in China uses gun to control the weather. Next on to-do list: Get cool costume, send ultimatum to world leaders
|
| |
|
Why swallow condoms full of cocaine when you can force your dogs to do it?
|
 |
|
More Thursday boobies: Briana Blaze (not safe for work)
|
 |
|
Here comes Peter Cottontail, overrunning Chicago streets and trails, hippity hoppity, more bunnies on the way
|
| |
|
Eleven-million-year-old Nakhlites Martian named Chunk found resting in Antartica. Said to have awful gas and is on it's way to Houston
|
 |
|
Personal Net usage at work at all-time high. You know that already, because you are here
|
| (Newsfilter.org) |
|
Spanish goddess, Sunny Leone (NSFW)
|
| |
|
Survey finds one in five Germans drinks to get drunk. No word yet on what the other four pansies are doing
|
| |
|
Your government at work: Man wearing only pajama bottoms gets through security at Atlanta's airport, steals a baggage tractor and drives it onto a runway
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Farker's favorite redhead, Heather Carolin. Not safe for work
|
| |
|
Former first lady of Canada who used to party with the Rolling Stones arrested for drunk driving
|
| |
|
Bob Eubanks says he wants to kick Michael Moore's ass, details his 15-year feud with Moore in autobiography
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Photoshop this bartender
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Awesome Castlevania Game. Late night work comes to a screeching halt
|
| |
|
Dentist pulls 14 teeth in surgery mishap. No explanation for how one accidentally pulls 14 teeth
|
| (Deseret Morning News) |
|
Mystery reader in Mormon country has been crossing out obscene words in library books out and replacing them with milder words
|
| |
|
New political party forms, will endorse a candidate for president if he can chug a beer
|
| |
|
Army surgeons practice free breast enlargements on soldiers and their families
|
 |
|
Pigeon shot and killed after evading museum staff and pecking hole in famous Dutch painting
|
| |
|
Monkey walks upright after recovering from serious illness. Now looking for Charlton Heston (with pic)
|
| |
|
Dump truck driver hauling 12 tons of gravel accidentally hits "dump" instead of "cruise" (link fixed)
|
| |
|
McCain on the vice presidency: "I spent a number of years in a North Vietnamese prison camp in the dark and (was) fed scraps, and I don't know why I would want to do that all over again"
|
| (Examiner.net) |
|
City moves to prohibit people from parking their cars in their yards. Rednecks plot revolt against measure
|
| |
|
Punk band's fan lights himself on fire while trying to siphon gas from their van
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
"Fans" spit at Lance Armstrong during time trial. Later tell him it's an old European custom for good luck, like kicking you in the shins and stealing your wallet
|
| Wed July 21, 2004 |
| (Some Guy) |
|
Photoshop this troll bridge
|
| |
|
Disney and Pixar making up: More Dixar or Pisney films to come
|
| |
|
Two cops struck by lightning, continue helping motorists anyway
|
| |
|
KFC supplier suspends chicken-choker
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Ubermodel Lucas Kerr. No actual weenerage here, just a hot, hot guy with jug-ears and an 8-pack stomach, wearing some silly clothes. SFW
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
In a story smelling suspiciously like the "Soldier captured, wasn't captured, etc." story, Michael Jackson cries into the night, "I HAVE NO SON..."
|
 |
|
Top 11 unlikely tech headlines
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
MIT grad wins Miss Massachusetts despite wearing lab coat and pocket protector in swimsuit contest
|
| |
|
New video released shows four 9/11 hijackers being pulled out of line after setting off metal detectors, then cleared to board plane
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Today marks the 20th anniversary of the first death of a human being at the hands of a robot. SkyNet unavailable for comment
|
| |
|
Michael Jackson wants "a celebrity exception to the First Amendment" so most of his child molestation case can be kept secret
|
| |
|
Neighborhood bar being converted into an alcoholism treatment center
|
| |
|
Woman gets butt implants in order to look like Jennifer Lopez. Ass-implant-explosion hilarity ensues
|
| |
|
Crowds flock to see Jesus image in True Value store window (with window pics)
|
| (Daily Mail) |
|
Liquid bandage sticks woman's foot to floor
|
 |
|
Long time suspicion about military chow confirmed -- cooking with urine
|
 |
|
Man who regularly makes obscene gestures to passing trains as a protest of their loud horns gets too close to one. Hilarity ensues
|
| |
|
Lance Armstrong wins in the Alps, increases lead. The only guy who can stop him now is Steve Bartman
|
| (SorobanGeeks) |
|
Old and busted: square watermelons. New hotness: pyramid watermelons. (At bottom of page)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Photoshop this chained chihuahua
|
| (NBC 4) |
|
Tractor-trailer spills 40,000 pounds of flour on I-95, no one knows how to clean it up (with pic)
|
| |
|
Toll-free phone number listed on U.S. Post Office information card turns out to be sex line
|
| (NY Daily News) |
|
Who needs a Hummer when you can have a Bearcat? (with pics)
|
| |
|
World Santa Congress advocates adding chimney climbing to Olympics
|
| |
|
Is Anna K. over? (Safe for work)
|
| |
|
NASA returning to moon. Maybe. Tin foil hats explode
|
| (Some Guy-no) |
|
Sharp-eyed, self-proclaimed expert in female genitalia notices eerie coincidence to a certain automaker's logo
|
| |
|
Jewel thieves use script from "Return of the Pink Panther" to steal £500,000 ring. Clouseau leans on spinning globe
|
| (KSBW 8) |
|
Maryland mystery animal spotted again, this time there's video. Your dog wants you to focus the camera
|
| |
|
Radio reporter mugged on air. Mugger to be fined by the FCC
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
There is a man from Tex-ass, Whose balls must be made out of brass, He has to be crazy, He is definitely lazy, Read how the cops bust his ass
|
| |
|
Dog runs for spot on city council
|
| |
|
Sudden burst of wind results in upskirt shots of everyone from Fergie to Paris Hilton to Princess Anne. By gum, the Sun is there (possibly not safe for work)
|
 |
|
Todays "Roller coaster malfunctions and strands riders upside down" story brought to you by Paramount Canada's Wonderland
|
| (Some crack baby) |
|
Foundation offers sterilization assistance for drug addicts
|
| |
|
Water education - spring vs. artesian vs. distilled vs. mineral vs. purified vs. flavored vs. tap vs.
|
| |
|
Dissatisfied with television depiction, gangsters shoot their own mafia TV serial
|
| |
|
Two Kenyans, three Indians and an Egyptian kidnapped in Iraq. Unfortunatly this is not the start of a bad joke
|
| |
|
The Official Church of Spongebob Squarepants
|
| |
|
As if your ass weren't fat enough, Krispy Kreme offering glazed doughnut beverage
|
| |
|
Airline wars in Canada get silly: WestJet exec accused of hacking Air Canada database. Air Canada steals his garbage in retaliation, only to get pwned...
|
| |
|
Swedish concert-goers get sloshed on alcoholic soap from portable toilets
|
| |
|
Between beatings by his wife, Hawking creates a theory on what happens to matter in a black hole
|
 |
|
Federal agents -- including Homeland Security and the Department of Defense -- raid a police-and-military supply business in Lexington, Kentucky. More to come
|
| |
|
Car bomb explodes in Tennessee
|
| |
|
Britney officially a step-milf
|
| |
|
International Whaling Commission searching for a more humane way to kill whales. Apparently grenade-tipped harpoons are too cruel
|
| |
|
Michael Jackson wants a "celebrity exception to the First Amendment"
|
| |
|
Jenna Bush sticks tongue out at reporters. CNN is there
|
| |
|
Drunken flight attendants beat up a passenger when the latter asks for assistance
|
| |
|
New library robot will help patrons find books, Sarah Connor
|
| |
|
Iraq dismisses report of nuclear find as "stupid"
|
| |
|
Paul Johnson's head found by Saudis
|
| (Some Gal) |
|
Stocking cap and exploding cake. Nuff said
|
| |
|
Kylie Minogue wins "official" world best booty competition -- as run by the Sun UK (with NSFW pics)
|
| |
|
Chicago aviation boss forces executives with six-figure salaries to clean toilets
|
| (The Omaha Channel) |
|
Sneeze blows man through chain-link fence, across the street, down embankment, into the creek. Gesundheit
|
| (Some Silly Knigget) |
|
Since being knighted, Ben Kingsley insists on being called "Sir Ben" at all times
|
| (Some Voter) |
|
Your government at work: U.S. Congress populated by liars, cheats and scam artists. Now with documentation goodness
|
| (Some Con Artist) |
|
Theme: Unlikely conventions (link goes to JengaCon)
|
 |
|
Translate your Fark login to hieroglyphics
|
| (US Newswire) |
|
U.S. Department of Labor sets up website for homeless to help them find jobs. In related news, homeless apparently a major Internet demographic
|
| |
|
Policeman opens fire on jaywalkers
|
| Tue July 20, 2004 |
| (Irish Examiner) |
|
Will Smith required psychological help for nude scene in "I Robot." Shrinks all over America bump their prices as well
|
| |
|
Inmates escape jail to buy beer, return to jail, drink beer, go to buy more beer, all before anyone even notices they are gone
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Duke freshmen given free iPods, still sucks in a vague, non-specific way
|
 |
|
Amos the Lollipop Donkey loves to help kids across the street
|
| |
|
Thieves rob Paris casino, overlook high-stakes poker tournament next door that was worth 10 times what they pilfered. France folds
|
| |
|
Photoshop an epiphany
|
| |
|
KFC throws, slaps and kicks its chickens before serving them to the masses
|
| (WPVI-ABC) |
|
Police officer snags a bridge jumper as she leaps, lowering her score to 2.0 for form (with pics)
|
| |
|
The New York Post investigates one of the most troubling questions of our time: Why do so many movies feature guys getting hit in the groin?
|
| (WPVI) |
|
Church holds mass baptism at a water park. Hopes to convert atheists and Jews by offering free log flume ride coupons
|
| |
|
The newest challenger to Britney and Christina is a dead, 1000-pound Hawaiian
|
| |
|
Invention turns leaves into audio speakers. Robert Plant not available for comment
|
| (NBC5.com) |
|
Stinky skunk rescued by good samaritans after getting stuck in a cup (with pics and video)
|
| (Daily Herald) |
|
Couple learns that their new mini-van is used, and that its roomy interior can accomodate eight full-size corpses
|
| |
|
Michael Jackson's freaky sperm strikes again, to be father of quadruplets
|
| |
|
68-year-old called up for duty in Iraq. Anti-insurgent activities to include keeping whippersnappers off the lawn
|
| |
|
Rodeo patrons go nuts over bull testicles
|
| |
|
V.I. Lenin died of the clap
|
| |
|
Future mob boss bullies sixth-grade classmate into giving him $12k
|
 |
|
Mother may be jailed for dropping son off at amusement park
|
| |
|
Rival gangs attending separate weddings share banquet hall
|
| |
|
Boston Fark Party Saturday July 24th, 7pm at JJFoley's. Drew will be there. Also will be in Montreal on Aug 5th, where's a good place to have a Fark party there?
|
| |
|
Wrigley Field imitates Cubs by also coming apart at mid-season
|
| |
|
Man accused of making sweet, sweet love to pit bull. Your dog doesn't want tube steak
|
| |
|
For sale: Pictures of armless midgets
|
 |
|
Sewage a problem in Lake Titicaca. Contact us when the boobie part of "Titicaca" gets out of hand
|
| (WBNS - 10 TV) |
|
Cinema sprinklers come on during "Singing In The Rain"
|
| |
|
Photoshop your own Twinkies box cover
|
| (Fond du Lac Reporter) |
|
Wisconsin man eats 20,000th Big Mac
|
| |
|
Apparently people are annoyed by newspaper logins
|
| |
|
Man caught with thousands of dollars in his stomach at airport. Hopes to land second job as an ATM
|
| |
 |
"One-Nut" Armstrong takes Stage 15 and yellow jersey from Voeckler. France surrenders
|
| |
|
Intruder with can of gasoline arrested at David Beckham's home
|
 |
|
Nelly buys ownership stake in NBA's Charlotte Bobcats. So take off all your clothes
|
| (WNBC) |
|
Never make a man with a knife wait too long to use the bathroom at Burger King
|
| |
|
South Korea not happy with way CIA pronounces preisident's last name, spends time and energy making formal requests to have them pronounce it correctly. Daniel Webster surrenders
|
| |
|
Germany celebrates 60th anniversary of Hitler assassination attempt that maybe sorta coulda almost worked
|
| |
|
Tin-foil hat wearers celebrate 35th anniversary of world's biggest hoax
|
| |
|
There are lots of ways to celebrate getting married. For example, firing a semiautomatic pistol out the window of a wedding party limousine
|
 |
|
Filipino hostage released
|
| |
|
We will now be subjected to Madonna singing in Yiddish
|
| (Some Trekkie) |
|
Theme: Photoshop your favorite actor/actress into Star Trek in an effort to save the franchise. Live long and prosper
|
| |
|
Rabbit in Holland is as big as a three-year-old human (with pic)
|
| (kfortv.com) |
|
Matt Damon gives invite-only screening of "The Bourne Supremacy" in Okalahoma City. Raises over $100k for children's hospital
|
 |
|
Iraq's new prime minister accused of murdering six suspects with his own pistol. His office "promises" to investigate
|
| |
|
Anti-smoking group creating posters that claim smoking stunts penis growth in attempt to keep teens from smoking
|
| |
|
Tim Burton finds chocolate-coated camera lens not-so-sweet
|
| |
|
Hawk bursts into flames, starts wildfire
|
| |
|
Dozens of students wearing Spider-Man masks take over buildings at Peruvian university, demand removal of the dean. Dean puts the students on double-secret probation
|
| |
|
Survey finds 42 percents of Americans pee in the shower and seven percent never bathe at all
|
| (Some Wolverine) |
|
Superman attacks motorists. Lex Luthor unavaible for comment
|
| |
|
Man digs up world's largest diamond using only a shovel
|
| Mon July 19, 2004 |
| |
|
White House Office of National Drug Control Policy: "Reefer Madness may be real"
|
| (Vancouver Sun) |
|
6.1 earthquake, BC's second in four days, rocks Vancouver Island Farkers and TotalFarkers. (All the lesser humans in the area, too)
|
| |
|
Tired of waiting in line for that two-minute ride? Now you can pay to jump the line to ride that two-minute ride
|
| |
|
St. Louis airport visitors have left behind $2,748 in loose change in 2004
|
| (overspun.com) |
|
Bill O'Reilly cites the "Paris Business Review" to bolster his claims of a successful boycott against France. The "Paris Business Review" does not exist
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Combine humans and machines. Giger surrenders
|
| |
|
Man goes to Walden Pond to hand out free copies of Thoreau's "Walden." Ranger tells him he needs a permit
|
 |
|
"Watch this, Josephus." *Smack* "Ow." Cock punch goes back to Roman times
|
| |
|
Brother of John Edwards brought in on 10-year-old arrest warrant for driving without license. Claims sheriff used phony speed limit sign that flipped from 55 to 15. Boss Hogg declines comment
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
AudioEdit saying goodbye to someone you didn't really like
|
| |
|
Linda Ronstadt bashes Bush and gets the boot
|
| (WCCO) |
|
Wisconsin motorists, looking out for plastic wrap, run into gigantic swarms of flies instead
|
| (Philly Burbs) |
|
Utility company tells residents there's no need to worry about the yellow-brown water coming out of their faucets
|
 |
|
I-Mockery takes a bite out of "Gish" (with photoshop contest)
|
| |
|
Missing marine that deserted his post, was kidnapped, beheaded, not beheaded, released, not released, popped up in Lebanon, was a hoax, moved to Germany, was coming home, then not coming home says he didn't desert his post
|
| |
|
The extreme holiday of Russian tourists in Turkey
|
 |
|
Revenge of the nerds: Layoff veteran aims to put outsourcing ban on November ballot
|
| |
|
Junk food makes up quarter of U.S. diet
|
| |
|
Theme: What the USA would look like if it had never left the British Empire
|
| (Boston Herald) |
|
Cop leaves his cruiser in the path of a runaway forklift to chase fleeing teen forklift joyriders into woods. Hilarity ensues
|
 |
|
Learjet overshoots runway at Fort Lauderdale airport (pic)
|
| (NBC 13 Alabama) |
|
Friendly mystery creature roams suburbs north of Baltimore (with blurry pics)
|
| (Local10) |
|
A dozen police cars and a sherrif's department helicopter aid in the recovery of a library book
|
| (Click2Houston) |
|
Sci-Fi network admits "The Buried Secret of M. Night Shyamalan" was a hoax
|
| |
|
But, I greeted new neighbors with freshly baked bread? The Smoking Gun is there
|
| |
|
Skateboarding champ, Tony Hawk, get his own talk show on Sirius Satellite Radio. Listenership expected to be up in the tens
|
| |
|
World War One claims another victim. Chalk one up for the Austro-Hungarians
| | |
