You might try our Headline Search for easier navigation here.
These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
NEW To Fark? Find Out HOW TO FARKX
| Sun July 04, 2004 |
 |
|
Psychic claims she was haunted by the ghost of James Dean for 40 years, until she eventually told him to get lost
|
 |
|
Soccer team gets stoned after tie. Literally
|
| (Assorted Pictures) |
|
It's Fourth of July. I'm "Chillin' and Grillin'." What are you up to? Who is having the best afternoon?
|
| |
| (York News Times) |
|
Nebraska LB212, revising the permit laws for tractors and how they are tested
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Photoshop this drunk Superman
|
| |
|
Ostrich dies in freak sinkhole accident. Wile E. Coyote sought for questioning
|
 |
|
Scientists eye spinach to solve energy problem, woo Olive Oyl
|
 |
|
Beware, there'll be dragons here
|
| (MSN Encarta) |
|
The Presidential Pop Quiz. It would be unAmerican if you don't score a 100 on this test...
|
| |
 |
|
Survey find teens enjoy school, get along with their parents, don't get depressed and enjoy lying on surveys
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Government trying to conceal where that semi ahead of you is carrying spent nuclear waste
|
| (Some Drunk) |
|
How beer is responsible for civilization as we know it
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Paper sends reporter to go through marine boot camp. What are the chances that the Corps will discover gross misconduct by its drill sergeants when the article comes out?
|
| (His Dudeness) |
|
Lebowski Fest NYC, Aug 13-14th. Tell Walter
|
| |
|
Two moose crash July 4th parade in Utah
|
| (Some High Carb Guy) |
|
Get a coupon for a free two-liter bottle of new low-carb Pepsi Edge
|
 |
|
Restaurants join food-stamp program
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Redneck recipes. Never mind that every one has possum in it
|
| (Springfield News-Leader) |
|
Immigrants gain citizenship just in time to celebrate the 4th of July. "Now, where do I sign up for welfare?"
|
| (alllaw.com) |
|
For all Farkers who will be partying this weekend, a calculator of DWI penalties for each state
|
 |
|
Photoshop an unlikely Willy Wonka for Tim Burton's new film
|
 |
|
Oatman, Arizona Board of Tourism having trouble getting visitors who aren't there for wandering asses or the annual Sidewalk Egg-Frying contest
|
| (Some Historian) |
|
Presidential trivia: Presidents who killed people outside of war, had extramarital affairs, never served in the armed forces, and more
|
| |
|
Maybe marine wasn't beheaded after all. Group denies killing of man held hostage
|
| (Some Daisy) |
|
Dukes (of Hazzard) Fest to be held at Bristol Motor Speedway. Link to Cooter's place on page
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Angelic James Brown tells bands to clean up act, and pssst -- get him some crack
|
| (news-leader.com) |
|
Judge horrified at finding a mouse in his beer, calls beer company, is told it might be a clump of algae with four little feet and a tail
|
| (PittPostGazette) |
|
Mini police car hits the streets. Members of the notorious Lollipop Guild run for cover
|
 |
|
Scientists have found evidence to suggest we do have a sixth sense and can tell when we are being watched, even through CCTV
|
| (Some Guy w/ no art skills) |
|
TFer needs help making our 26th president look better
|
 |
|
Celebrate the 4th early with this pictorial guide to the best fireworks a small budget can buy: smoke bombs, cobra eggs and those other things that explode
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Oh, the humanity. The nutri stats on the Hindenburgers from each major chain
|
 |
|
Maxim muses on older women
|
 |
|
The nation's best airport lounges
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
The Tom Hanks soundboard
|
| Sat July 03, 2004 |
 |
|
Hot, talented nice-girl Sharapova not likely to make as much endorsement money as hot, no-talent assclown Kournikova
|
| (Some Celticist) |
|
Celtic fort destroyed... and this time it's not the English
|
 |
|
When it comes to celebrity demands, Sharon has some Stones
|
| (Fire Ninja) |
|
Take one ninja, add fire, profit. (Some NSFW pics)
|
| (Some Whillenholly) |
|
To mark the 20th anniversary of "Purple Rain," Prince reunited with Morris Day and The Time, and Sheila E. Silent Bob and Jay too enraptured to comment
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Gold plated AK-47 found in Iraq (w/pics). Saddam was big pimpin'
|
| |
|
Remove the binary opposition from a TV show or movie that depends on it. Example: Queer Eye for Short Guy. (Link goes to definition of "binary opposition")
|
| (Wichita Eagle) |
|
Midwest theaters ban Fahrenheit 9/11 because it incites terrorism
|
| (Female First) |
|
Some hottie about to get her gas cut off
|
| |
|
After 500 years and a little help from experts in robotics, Leonardo Da Vinci's car makes it off the drawing board
|
| (TampaBay's 10) |
|
Millions of tax dollars spent to built frog crosswalk
|
| |
|
"... 42 percent of men and 45 percent of women say the perfect boob is about a 'C'"
|
| |
|
Seriously hot woman is depressed (with pic)
|
| |
|
Russian government seizes country's largest oil company. In other news, America's largest oil company has already seized U.S. government
|
 |
 |
Forget cheesesteaks. Pick the covergirl for the Philadephia Eagles lingerie calendar
|
 |
|
Private school girl being expelled for flashing bra at school webcam. What could possibly go wrong? (with pic)
|
 |
|
Theme: Unlikely movie sequels (link goes to GIS for "Barton Fink 2")
|
 |
|
Twenty-ton block of granite will be set in place tomorrow to mark the official start of construction on the 1,776-foot tower that will rise on the site of the World Trade Center
|
 |
|
Report: Abducted Marine reportedly has been beheaded
|
| |
|
From the "What could possibly go wrong" category: Thai zoo houses tigers, pigs together
|
 |
|
Old and "busted": Anna Kournikova . New hotness: Sharapova takes Wimbledon
|
 |
|
Meet the person ranked No. 2 by the International Federation of Competitive Eating: Sonya Thomas (36, 100 pounds )
|
| (Bicycling.com) |
|
Lance Armstrong begins his bid for a sixth consecutive Tour de France win today. Find answers to the key questions like "Who are his rivals?", "What do those jerseys mean?", and "How do those guys pee?" here
|
| |
|
Former Halliburton auditor explains how they operate in Iraq
|
 |
|
Maine Audubon is saying no to wind turbine because, as everyone knows, oil soot is good for wildlife
|
 |
|
In a questionable attempt to satisfy some of its $14 million debt, the Boy Scouts try to peddle $250 cups of lemonade. And Adam Smith wept
|
| (Daily Pennsylvanian) |
|
Plain-clothed cops hired by MTV to protect "Real World" cast members from angry Philadelphians
|
| |
|
Novelty geeks are buzzing like moths to a flame at a new product -- robotic fireflies
|
| |
|
Dogs with amazing healing powers, and a PETA person asks the vet questions
|
 |
|
Cassini's first pictures of Titan
|
| (News-Leader) |
|
The world is running out of vehicle identification number combinations
|
| |
|
Mothers "hold in" babies until July 1st to get $3000 government baby bribe
|
| (Famous in PQX49) |
|
Photoshop someone famous as if they are in an alternate universe. Link goes to crappy example
|
| (Taipei Times) |
|
China using pornography as an excuse to censor SMS messages. Freedom of speech takes it in the (_._)
|
| (All Africana) |
|
Poor African family files $1.6 million lawsuit against Disney, claims their father composed "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
|
| (NBC 2 South Florida) |
|
Woman finds her own obituary printed in local paper (with video)
|
 |
|
Overwhelming list of gas barbecue-grill safety tips, which is silly because everyone knows real barbecue is done with charcoal
|
 |
|
Money makes the Wurlitzer go 'round. The history of jukeboxes
|
| |
|
Scientists find tiny pre-humans in Kenya, still searching for yellow brick road
|
| (Arkcity.com) |
|
Sonic rollergirl gets run over by boat after seeing and successfully dodging truck towing it
|
| |
|
Burglars try to get high snorting ashes of family's pet goat
|
 |
|
Wheely Willy the Paraplegic Dog brings Japanese to tears (with pic)
|
| (Post-Crescent) |
|
Third try is a charm finding a dead dog's owner
|
| (Anchorage Daily News) |
|
Czechs, ever the innovators, introduce the world to marijuana-flavored alcohol
|
| (Some Stabber) |
|
Finally, you too can kill people with your keychain
|
 |
|
Commen sense surrenders after French tour guide shoots polar bear in foot in Norway
|
| |
|
German scientist travels the world with 25 cadavers dipped in plastic. Link includes slideshow of horror
|
| (Courier Journal) |
|
Maryland sues Kool cigarettes because they think hip-hop music isn't cool
|
| Fri July 02, 2004 |
 |
|
Take this Brando quiz in honor of His Greatness
|
| (Wavy.Com) |
|
Samurai strikes Newport credit union
|
| (Some F*ck) |
|
A breakdown of how the newspapers reported Cheney's "F- off." Or "Go f- yourself." Or "obscene phrase"
|
| |
|
Civil Rights Act turns 40
|
 |
|
Five-year-old impaled on elephant tusk while trying to imitate Spider-Man
|
| |
|
Theme: Inside the Fark theme park
|
| |
|
Company to introduce flavoured bananas. Tastes like apple
|
| (Some Gal) |
|
Just in time for your Fourth of July cookouts -- the Talking Hot Dog Condiment Holder
|
| (KCTV5) |
 |
May be up to 4 dead in shooting at food plant in Kansas City. Gunman not using a pea shooter
|
| |
|
Principal from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" arrested for failing to register as sex offender. TSG is there
|
| (di-ve.com) |
|
Taxi asplodes at Madonna's house
|
| |
|
UN asked to monitor U.S. presidential elections
|
| |
|
Angry strippers perform unwanted breast reduction surgery on their coworker
|
| |
|
Engineers create giant net to shield nuclear reactors from airplane attacks (w/pic)
|
| (Chattanoogan.com) |
|
And now for something completely different: Here's a catfish with a basketball in its mouth (photos)
|
| |
|
Minnesota Twins take away G.I. Joe's gun for Armed Services Appreciation Night. Snake-Eyes unavailable for comment
|
| (NWI Times) |
|
Wanna get your girlfriend to quit smoking? Fill her car up with gum (with pic)
|
 |
|
Nasty beaver leaves entire town speechless
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Math profs uses calculus to find best seats in movie theater. Still no cure for cancer
|
 |
|
With other crimes solved and all other criminals locked up, Toledo police conduct big raid on bar and snag six cigarette smokers
|
| (WJLA.com) |
|
D.C. area residents warned about presence of coyotes. Told to look out for giant springs, dynamite and poorly balanced boulders
|
| (The Gubment) |
|
Finally, an explanation of Social Security that all Americans can understand
|
 |
|
Tin-foil-hat sporting Nigerians boycott polio vaccine; develop widespread epidemic of polio
|
| (WNBC) |
|
Domino's employee won't allow medium pizzas to be placed in a large box
|
| |
|
Why clocks with Roman numerals use "IIII" for four instead of "IV." Here comes the mythology
|
 |
|
Lindsay Lohan turns 18. Pictures taken when she fell out of her clothes still legally child pornography
|
| |
|
Colin Powell aparently is the construction worker in the Village People. (With funniest... slideshow... ever...)
|
 |
|
Titanium RoboBreasts. Sadly, no pics
|
| |
 |
Whopping 37-foot weiner measures up as world's largest. Chicago police on lookout for Takeru "The Tsunami" Kobayashi
|
| (Jackson Clarion-Ledger) |
|
Woman, searching for keys in dumpster, gets taken out with trash, gets bonus ride in garbage truck
|
| |
|
When attempting to send poisoned cupcakes to the mayor, don't mail them from your house
|
| (Melbourne Herald Sun) |
|
Woman turns her SUV into artificial reef for neighbor's swimming pool (with pic)
|
| (Cleveland.com) |
|
Homeland security says to watch out for floating booby-trapped beer coolers on Independence Day
|
| |
|
Record-breaking attempt really takes the cake. Fireball ensues
|
| |
|
Man has plastic surgery to look like Mr. Spock (pics needed)
|
 |
|
Girl creates entire line of lingerie from itching, stinging leaves. The Sun is there (with pic)
|
| |
|
Unlikely "Larry King Live" guests
|
 |
|
Tennessean cop accidentally shoots brother in leg for lending the butter to a neighbor
|
| |
|
NASA's Hubble finds as many as 100 new planets in the Milky Way. Sagan's ghost heard to say, "Told ya so"
|
| |
|
Add "being legally insane" to the list of things that won't get you out of jury duty
|
| (newsleader.com) |
|
Virginia goofs, revives old blue laws set aside in 1980s
|
 |
|
Guy rents out house to as many different people as possible, leaving would-be renters to fight over who gets to live there. What could go wrong?
|
 |
|
Fugitive caught by herd of cows
|
 |
|
NBC embarrassed after airing Katie Couric batting shuttlecock while rival networks show footage of Saddam Hussein's court appearance
|
| (KPHO Phoenix) |
|
Marlon Brando dead at 80. Or so says this news station in Phoenix. Other news sites picking up the story now, too
|
| (KOAT) |
|
Red-light camera busts cheating wife
|
| (News.com) |
|
Google bans Gmail account swaps and sales, officially making it harder to get a Gmail account than getting a link approved on Fark
|
| |
|
Heavy-weight SUVs have been banned from the Washington Crossing Bridge
|
| |
|
Design a new scratch-it lottery ticket, with a new style of game
|
| |
|
Watch out, Anna Kournikova -- Maria Sharapova is the new hotness (with VPL pics)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
New web game sweeping the globe. Office productivity is at an all time low
|
| (TechWeb) |
|
Dell paying $100 for dead iPods
|
 |
|
"Spider-Man 2" grosses opening record $40.5 million
|
 |
|
Female Irish reporter demonstrates she has more balls than most American reporters who interview Bush. Succeeds in pissing off Bush's media folks
|
| (Fox Sports) |
|
Phoenix tries to lure Kobe away with $100+ million contract. The Suns are there
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Who would have figured a magician calling himself "Dr. Strange" and working kids' parties might face charges?
|
| (Some Gal) |
|
AudioEdit a presidential campaign debate between a Disney character and a Looney Toons character. Link goes to GIS for Mel Blanc
|
| |
|
According to Wynonna Judd's concert rider, microwave popcorn and Chex Mix go well with fine wine
|
| (citypaper.com) |
|
Citypaper.org explores what happens to your online self when you die
|
| |
|
Teen's cell phone catches fire, burnination ensues. Trogdor wanted for questioning
|
| |
|
NBA Hall of Famer indicted for Molestation, Dracula haircut
|
| |
|
Coke promotion raises security concerns at military bases
|
 |
|
Yankees sweep Red Sox. Entire city of Boston on suicide watch
|
| |
|
Coach K to L.A.? Duke to possibly suck even more
|
| (Forbes) |
|
Rabies kills three organ recipients from same donor
|
| Thu July 01, 2004 |
| |
|
Theme: What if the United States returned sovereignty to Native Americans?
|
| (Benton County Daily Record) |
|
Krispy Kreme opening inspires campouts and requires extra police
|
| (mlive.com) |
|
If it looks like weed, don't bring it to the courthouse
|
| |
|
Chuck Norris and Patrick Stewart autographs headed for Saturn
|
| |
|
Nearly 30 years later, morons still flock to Philly to imitate Rocky's run up the museum steps
|
| |
|
Jailarity quick to ensue after man lifts judge's wallet, goes on shopping spree, signs own name on credit-card slips
|
| (TampaBays10.com) |
|
Look at those beer-drinking pigs... No, really, look at those beer-drinking pigs (with video)
|
| |
|
Man, upset he didn't receive political party's nomination, decides to respond by nailing himself to cross
|
| |
|
Farkettes: The wait is over. "Guys Gone Wild" coming to DVD. (SFW)
|
| |
|
Fark is the No. 3 result on Google for "Islamic militant website." John Ashcroft seeking Drew for questioning
|
| |
|
Carmen Electra's Naked Wrestling League: "Investors are certainly excited"
|
| |
|
Fark you very much for shopping, says check-out slip
|
| |
|
In the first ever sign that he might be normal, police confiscate porn and pills from Micheal Jackson's bedroom
|
 |
|
American pro sports league system = socialism. European pro soccer league system = capitalism
|
| |
|
7 foot 7 Manute Bol seriously injured in cab accident, Celebrity boxing career in jeopardy
|
| |
|
£300,000 worth of research makes surprise decision to use Scottish flag to promote Scotland
|
| (Rocky Mountain News) |
|
Denver man a wee bit testy when hospital staff take digital photo of his genitals while he's unconscious
|
 |
|
Actor fondly recalls farting on cue for Mel Brooks
|
| (GIS) |
|
In conjunction with the debut of "Fahrenheit 9/11," photoshop Michael Moore making accusations against other authority figures
|
| |
|
Man assaults wife, blames "lying agent of Satan" pet parrot
|
| |
|
600,000 years ago, seven-tonne hippos roamed the wilds of southern England
|
| |
|
If you could wave a magic wand and create the ultimate tech gadget, what would it be? Voting enabled
|
 |
|
Bush-Cheney campaign instructs churches how to stump for them
|
| |
|
Versace heir takes partial control of fashion house. Perhaps she can now afford food (see picture)
|
| (San Bernadino Sun) |
|
Alf making television comeback, this time as talk show host, with Ed McMahon as sidekick. Guests to include fellow alien Joan Rivers
|
| |
|
Spike Lee's next movie is about a guy who tries to make money by impregnating lesbians
|
| |
|
When stealing a car to use for a bank robbery, don't enter your dad's address into the GPS
|
| (Newsfilter.org) |
|
Hot Miami Latina, Mindy Vega (not safe for work)
|
| |
|
Scientists find that beer goggles makes women stronger. Still no cure for cancer, but studying beer and women is good work if you can get it
|
| |
|
Cop tells dog to stop. Dog gets shot for failing to understand English. Cop takes canine threat-assessment class, makes obscene gesture at TV news crew. Hilarity and unemployment ensues
|
 |
|
Teacher with no map or compass leads group of teen girls wearing skirts and sneakers up mountain. Mountain rescue team not amused
|
| |
|
Good news: Saddam could face the death penalty. Bad news: David Beckham will probably take it
|
| |
|
Saddam taken to court; waves finger like Babu, reminding everyone of "Seinfeld"
|
| |
|
Projectionist with night-vision goggles busts 16-year-old moviegoer making bootleg copy of "Spider-Man 2"
|
| |
|
Maxim's 2003 Hometown Hottie finalists (safe for work)
|
| |
|
Spider-Man gets new spideysuit for India. PS another superhero costume for India
|
| |
|
Woman jailed for 14 days for putting ice cubes in her maid's underwear and forcing her to stand in front of a fan
|
 |
|
Flying bulldozer lands in oncoming traffic, crushing pickup truck
|
| (Some Pooter) |
|
San Diego Fark Party being hosted to coincide with Comic Con on July 23rd
|
| |
|
The results of the "Favorite Hamburger Topping" poll are in. Bacon demands a recount
|
| (Some .NET programmer) |
|
Microsoft develops tool to help you create software bugs
|
| |
|
Mexican boxing champ beats up gunman who shot at him outside gym
|
| |
|
McDonald's new healthy menu apparently includes toad salads
|
| (LA Daily News) |
|
Dogs banned from most of downtown in attempt to curtail dog droppings -- fine for failing to clean after your dog now $628
|
| |
|
Poor homely Nicole Kidman says she can't get a man
|
| (Some Houston Guy) |
|
Houston Fark party in Rice Village on Sat., July 10th, in the evening. Final details will be posted next week. Get your livers ready
|
| (WNDU) |
|
New Chik-fil-a promises first 100 customers free food for one year. Damn campers took my spot
|
| |
|
Today's "Person touches energized 25,000-volt power line, falls 30 feet to ground and survives" story brought to you by Warwickshire, Scotland
|
| (News-Messenger) |
|
Driver, 70, fails DMV exam the hard way
|
| |
|
Photoshop lawn gnomes doing unwanted jobs. Link goes to GIS
|
| Wed June 30, 2004 |
| (News12) |
|
Russian artist thinks ten-story-tall statue of female genitalia a fitting memorial for 9/11 (with pic, safe for work)
|
| |
|
Complaints about newly-pure air in Irish pubs leads to assurance that one cannot get cancer from "passive inhaling of farts"
|
| (Washington Times) |
|
Switzerland to ban anonymous bank accounts
|
| (Times of India) |
|
Halle Berry's affinity for leather and whips goes beyond her Catwoman costume
|
| (Jack Black) |
|
For those of you about to rock... Anne Hathaway's nipple salutes you. (Not safe for work)
|
| (Surrey Comet) |
|
Blind man banned from saying "phlegm"
|
| |
|
Stations that aired Janet's wardrobe malfunction to be fined $27,000 each
|
| |
|
Zarqawi safehouse in Fallujah PWN3D by U.S. missile
|
 |
|
Kerry and Bush websites are insecure. Hilarity surely to ensue
|
| (Nerve) |
|
Nerve holds user-submitted contest for sexiest videos containing mention of John Ashcroft. Login/password: patriotact/patriotact. (Some not safe for work)
|
| |
|
Wired offers this list of the top 10 stupid technology patents. Fark patent on boobies links apparently still below the radar
|
| (WCCO) |
|
Bank refuses to open door to man with stocking on his head
|
| |
 |
Billboard featuring strange mannequins of students blamed for traffic accidents (with pics of billboard)
|
| |
|
Drug prices up at three times rate of inflation since Medicare discount subscription plan went into effect
|
| |
|
"This may be the summer we see the Reality bubble burst"
|
 |
|
Reagan Pyramid nears completion
|
| |
|
Man spends 30 years collecting 1 million pennies, U.S. mint refuses to exchange for cash
|
| (WTOP) |
|
You have the right to be a nude teenager
|
| (NBC4 Columbus) |
|
Man loses four fingers to industrial accident. Doctors replace them with toes (w/ pics)
|
| |
|
Woman loses Miss World suit. Sadly, story is nowhere near as exciting as headline promises
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Theme: The Feng Shui Guide to...
|
| |
|
Drunk burglar found passed out in woman's home -- wearing her clothes (with pics)
|
 |
|
Kerry/Clinton 2004? Difficulty: Deciphering Matt Drudge's grammar
|
 |
|
Largest casino in Wisconsin can't make $40 million payment to state, claims they're broke
|
| |
|
American archaeologists in Italy find live WWII explosives, location of Holy Grail, hot Austrian chick
|
 |
|
Left-handed people show unusually high frequencies of depression, drug abuse and bedwetting
|
| |
|
Woman in jail for stalking Michael Douglas wants to be released to complete her degree in child psychology.
|
| |
|
Maxim asks 3,000 women, "How long should a guy wait to fart in front of you?"
|
| |
|
The most popular toy in Iraq is a Saddam doll that wiggles his hips to the sounds of "Hippy Hippy Shake"
|
| |
|
German female cops can now be free from hat hair as they handcuff naughty boys and discipline them
|
| (News8Austin) |
|
Hey honey, let's get our porn pics developed at Walgreens. What could go wrong?
|
| |
|
Marlon Brando is $20 million in debt, living on government assistance and is hiding his Oscars from creditors
|
 |
|
Delaware Senate passes ban on tongue splitting, does not pass bill to improve state's twelve-gallon-bucket-of-ass odor
|
| |
|
Man pumps gas without pants
|
| (Hull Daily Mail) |
|
Woman gives birth to stomach ache for second time in three years
|
 |
|
Luggage screeners buy gasoline, pay cell phone bills, get new laptops -- all courtesy of airline passengers. Jailarity courtesy of FBI
|
| (CNBC) |
|
Federal Reserve Board raises interest rates for the first time in 4 years by 1/4%
|
 |
|
Spider-Man wasn't always a superhero. At least, not in Turkey
|
| (Democrat & Chronicle) |
|
College professor fired for giving too many F's
|
| |
|
Two forces of great evil have joined together: Celine Dion and Anne Geddes are releasing a joint "project" in October
|
| |
|
Fox News promo blurs boobie, shows huge penis penetration instead (screencap possibly not safe for work)
|
| |
|
Robots made for playing soccer will clear mines in war-torn countries, beat France by a goal
|
| (South Wales Evening Post) |
|
Catherine Zeta-Jones stalker writes letter of apology
|
| (Herald Express) |
|
Charity workers beat up man who refused to buy raffle ticket
|
| (Portland Press Herald) |
|
Green Party's candidate for vice president hasn't decided whether she'll vote for herself
|
| |
|
In their best Princess Leia voice, Republicans say: "Help us Ralph Nader, you're our only hope"
|
| |
|
Saturday, in the park, being attacked by a leopard
|
 |
|
Xbox is outsold by Playstation in Japan by a 48-1 ratio
|
| |
|
New gadget lets you choose your dreams. Hundreds of thousands of 13-year-old boys line up to purchase
|
| |
|
College recruiters want you to take off your clothes
|
 |
|
Mattel must pay more than $1.8 million to a Utah man who placed Barbie dolls in sexually provocative positions
|
 |
|
Yankee GM uses World Series ring as ID to get past Secret Service personnel protecting Cheney
|
| |
|
Jewelry store thief caught due to DNA analysis of tissue he blew his nose into while robbing the store
|
| |
|
Farker Ferretx uses a chimpanzee to propose to his girlfriend
|
| (South Wales Evening Post) |
|
After Euro2004 comes the Homeless Street Soccer World Cup, featuring "guy who busks outside Starbucks" and "High Street Jesus-freak"
|
| |
|
Howard Stern adds nine stations across the country
|
| |
|
National Parks and Wildlife Service conduct a controlled burn to remove weeds in order to improve number of wildlife; end up killing protected penguins. For the second time
|
| (Call me Ishmail) |
|
Photoshop this whale
|
| (StaticBeth) |
|
In honor of Spider-Man 2's release, it's Tobey Maguire's huge weener (not safe for work)
|
| (The Hobart Mercury) |
|
Scientific research vessel now authorized to open can of .50-calibre whoop-ass on fish poachers
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Inkjet for fingernails
|
| |
|
Workers uncover skeleton from War of 1812, marvel at the panopoly of history, shove Mr. Bones back in hole before anyone shuts down their job
|
| (National Geographic) |
|
Hindu temple home to 20,000 revered rats
|
| |
|
U.S. Government sues the Boy Scouts for $14 million
|
| |
|
Photoshop these soggy rickshaws
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Sharper Image to market "consumer version" of police stun gun
|
| |
|
Jason Giambi diagnosed with parasites, will be fitted with a flea and tick collar
|
| |
|
Hamburger unveiled with six pounds of beef. McDonald's surrenders
|
| Tue June 29, 2004 |
| |
|
The Sun's Page 3 Girl contest. Vote for your favorite boobies. Not safe for work
|
| |
|
Al Sharpton drives a Spike home with those who "Hate Their Job"
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Man's head asplodes at chess match
|
| (nbc5i.com) |
|
More Americans are handling credit card debts responsibly. Bankers are SO thrilled
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
How to piss off the oil companies. Start a similar site for your city
|
| (Some d00d) |
|
Grow your own lawnchairs. Literally. Your ants want a front-row seat
|
| |
|
Pope apologizes for sacking of Constantinople, not Istanbul
|
| (RealDoll) |
|
Into anime? RealDolls has a date for you. (Not safe for work)
|
| (Salisbury Post) |
|
Man sentenced for shooting blimp. Bruce Dern seen nearby
|
 |
|
Twenty percent of Americans buy items from spam emails
|
| (The Union Leader) |
|
Karaoke bar patrons take it a little too far with their live re-enactment of "Kung Fu Fighting"
|
| (Provo Daily Herald) |
|
Crop circles in Utah
|
| |
|
High school textbook does not list latex condoms as means of protection against STDs -- but does say you should get "plenty of rest"
|
| |
|
David Bell hits for the cycle on controversial triple
|
| |
|
First telemarketer charged for violating the DNC restrictions. Open up and say AHHHHH, biatch
|
| |
|
Men'sth costhmeticsth put a new face on masthculinity
|
| |
|
Fifty Cent ain't got nothing. Dude gets shot in the face and spits out the bullet
|
 |
|
Photoshop this construction worker on break in smokey Kuala Lumpur
|
| |
|
Dracula-style haircut all the rage in Michigan (with pic)
|
 |
|
World chocolate drought ahead. Stockpile now
|
| (Some Fry Guy) |
|
Five-hundred gallons of cooking grease spilled in McDonald's parking lot. Lot now tastes better than McNuggets
|
| (National Geographic) |
|
Genetically modified "designer" vegetables include low-carb potatoes, orange broccoli and purple carrots. Just don't eat the soylent green
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
World's smartest pirate forces himself to walk the plank. Rescuers find him after very brief search. Yaarrrr
|
| |
|
British father sentenced to 20 years in prison for hiring a gang to rob his drug-dealing son
|
| |
|
German hippies in a tizzy as 100 tons of acid spills in Hambur Harbor. Tie-dyed fish and Timothy Leary unavailable
|
| (South Wales Evening Post) |
|
Dylan Thomas's masterpiece, "Under Milk Wood," was nearly binned for "pornographic fantasies"
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Changing in the locker room before choir practice? This makes no damn sense (not safe for work)
|
| (Some DJ's) |
|
Florida teacher Debra LaFave's wedding and engagement photos -- see the most embarrassed man in America. (Second story down, below the Boobapalooza winners)
|
| |
|
U.S. Army to recall retired service members to non-voluntary active duty. Now watch this draft
|
| (People's Daily (China)) |
|
Stone that looks like an old woman's face said worth $12 million (w/pic)
|
| (Express and Echo) |
|
If your dyslexia is so bad you can't read bus destinations or departure times, maybe you shouldn't be a bus driver
|
| |
|
"Pizza rage" strikes again, as Chuck E. Cheese gets assaulted with slice of pizza
|
| |
|
Obese siblings sue Southwest Airlines after they are "humiliated" when asked to buy additional tickets for the flight.
|
| |
|
Senator Clinton: "Expect your taxes to go up. We are going to take things away from you for the common good"
|
| |
|
UN helicopter crashes, all 24 aboard killed
|
| |
|
Two hoodlums drive down road, tossing fireworks at bystanders. Pile in backseat ignites. Second-degree burnination ensues
|
| (WBAL TV) |
|
Mustard gas alarm continues to sound at Army's Aberdeen Proving Grounds in Maryland. Large man covered in condiments seen fleeing the area
|
| (Pressconnects.com) |
|
Village reinstates police department. Anarchy comes to an end
|
| |
|
Singapore Airlines completes world's longest nonstop commercial flight -- 10,000 miles in 18.5 hours, Singapore to New York
|
| (wpvi.com) |
|
Father puts four-month-old in duffel bag at Jersey shore and, "as a joke," asks people if they want to buy him. Hilarity ensues
|
| (Democrat & Chronicle) |
|
Reporter drives van around Lake Ontario faster than highspeed ferry can cross it
|
| |
|
Bill Gates isn't tracking your e-mail, but Wired tracks down this e-mail hoax's origins
|
| |
|
Japanese cabinet ministers save the environment by taking off clothes
|
| |
|
Seattle coffee yuppies freak when they learn their Starbucks Frappuccinos have more calories than a Whopper
|
| (Omaha Channel) |
|
From the "didn't see that one coming" department: Teen injured while playing with fireworks. "He was probably doing things with fireworks he shouldn't be doing"
|
 |
|
People suckered into thinking they were nominated as "poet of the year" in exchange for a $50 poetry book
|
| |
|
Shark attacks man. Man kills shark. Authorities charge man with killing endangered species. Hilarity ensues
|
| (South Wales Evening Post) |
|
Police take five months to find man who jumped custody. Never bothered checking his house to find him
|
 |
|
I scream, you scream, we all scream for horse-flesh ice cream
|
 |
|
Senor Cardgage Mortgage helped consolidate my life into this tiny box
|
| |
|
Supreme Court rules anti-porn law unconstitutional because it limits free speech. More porn for everyone
|
| |
|
Grocery clerk hacks Playboy site, blackmails them for ₤60
|
| |
|
Movie analyst suspects underage kids are purchasing tickets for usual Hollywood fare, then sneaking into "Fahrenheit 9/11" when the usher isn't looking
|
 |
|
Right- or left-handed? Here comes the science
|
 |
|
Artificial butter flavoring gives microwave popcorn its great taste; causes lung disease
|
| |
|
Couple repeatedly has yellow ribbons stolen from tree, sends note to parents of neighborhood teens asking them to talk about patriotism to kids. Squirrel apparently misses memo
|
| |
|
Zagat's survey asks consumers to rank top restaurants in Chigaco. Forty percent of diners prefer classic hotdog stands to fine dining
|
| |
|
Theme: Things unlikely to be seen on a trip to the zoo
|
| (Wizard News) |
|
New Harry Potter title revealed: Daniel Radcliffe and the Zillion Dollar Trust Fund
|
| |
|
Al-Zarqawi releases three Turks with their heads intact as reward for protests against Bush
|
| |
|
If you're planning to hold a 19-day cruise, make sure you made the payments on your boat
|
| |
|
Church bell ringer and church bell swap roles
|
| |
|
AP decides not to publish race in description of wanted suspects. Police on the lookout for Some Guy
|
| |
|
Judge throws out Mattel's lawsuit against Barbie pr0n artist
|
| |
|
You know all of those official sounding federal fees on your phone bill? They're fake
|
| (Salina Journal) |
|
Car crosses highway, goes airborne for 101 feet, rolls several times, breaks open, spills $2.25 million worth of ecstacy
|
| (Herald Sun) |
|
"Price Is Right" contestant requires five stitches after being knocked silly by Super Showcase Wheel
|
| |
|
Photoshop this fiery Hindu prayer
|
| |
|
Man nearly jumps out of his skin after finding python in rental car
|
| (the milwaukee channel) |
|
Motel sues woman after she hangs her wedding dress from a motel sprinkler valve, causing it to run for 3.5 hours
|
| |
|
"Trading Spaces" host strips for charity. Naked tabloid pics ensue
|
| |
|
Next doomsday virus that media claim will wipe out the human race named H5N1
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Finally, the mathematical formulas to help you perfectly parallel park your car. Here come the equations
|
| Mon June 28, 2004 |
| |
|
A real cactus hangover remedy
|
| |
|
FDA approves leeches as legitimate medical device. Wil passes out at the news
|
| |
|
Man "shoots off a memo," literally. Hilarity ensues
|
| |
|
Misubishi employee has coughing fit, crashes disguised "secret" prototype on public road
|
| (WBAL) |
|
Company fires man after he requests 20-minute nap breaks. Timeout ensues
|
| |
|
Woman discovers her new home was the neighborhood's former meth lab
|
| (splum.com) |
|
Hey! You got your Masumi in my Aria. No, you got your Aria in my Masumi. Not safe for work
|
| (Maine Today) |
|
You know it's going to be a bad day when a 20-ton boulder falls on you
|
| (Daily Herald) |
|
Happy Handover Day: Company that administers Iraqi ".iq" domains under criminal indictment
|
| (SignOn SanDiego) |
|
Sex-laced Mozart raises scandal at Berlin opera. Antonio Salieri rises from his grave and says, "I told you so"
|
| |
|
Michael Moore is a registered independent (or Democrat) in New York (or Michigan)
|
| |
|
Thirteen-year-old hijacks his dad's 40-ton truck and takes it for a spin. Resulting €10,000 damage would have been worse, but he had practice last month when he stole a fire engine
|
 |
|
Fark Canadian Election Night 2004 Thread. Please refrain from eating your ballots
|
| (some Ben Stein Fan) |
|
Insert a heckler into a famous speech
|
| |
|
Photoshop these tennis fans and their umbrellas
|
| |
|
New tape purports to show killing of U.S. Army soldier
|
| |
|
Student, 14, hits hot teacher, then rats her out to the cops. Horny teens everywhere surrender (pics of teacher)
|
| (Bushwacked) |
|
Bressler.org sued over photoshop contest, wins in court (site now un-farked)
|
| (Some Thirsty Guy) |
|
Last Call for Farkahol: Fourth of July Chicago Fark Party update, with bonus party goodness
|
| (Jerusalem Report) |
|
The Intifada is dying
|
| (Montgomery Advertiser) |
|
If your boss spends 70 percent of the day playing computer solitaire, placing spyware on his computer to prove it may not be a wise career move
|
| |
|
Consumer spending rises. Milk, gasoline consumers know why
|
| |
|
In a prime example of "I'll get married when I'm damn good and ready," 93-year-old finally gets around to it
|
| |
|
Man who shot wife in back says it happened accidentally while they were using their backyard as an amateur firing range
|
| |
|
In an effort to increase transplantable organ supply, the fuzz in Cleveland are being asked to go easy on speeding donors
|
| (Wells Journal) |
|
"The meter wouldn't accept my coins" is not a valid excuse for parking without paying
|
| |
|
Dubya and Libya open up a can of diplomatic on each other
|
| (The Louisville Channel) |
|
House -- which floated 103 miles down the Kentucky and Ohio rivers unscathed -- burns down
|
| (The New Yorker) |
|
Lord, please don't let my death wind up on Fark
|
| |
|
The Librarians from Hell: Debt collectors go after overdue books
|
| |
|
Playing porn in your car doesn't attract women, even if you're driving a Benz, but will help you pick up a hot police officer
|
| |
|
WWE champion Brock Lesnar gives up seven-year, $45 million contract to try out for the NFL, despite the fact that he hasn't played since high school
|
| |
|
Think Britney's been looking a little plumper lately? She might be eating for two
|
| |
|
From Shirley Temple to Annette Funicello to Lindsay Lohan, celebrity coming-of-age countdowns are nothing new
|
| (Channel News Asia) |
|
Elevator briefly doubles as space shuttle booster
|
 |
|
The groovy 1976 cars of AMC, featuring the Matador, Gremlin, and the freakish Pacer X
|
| |
|
Canadians apparently fond of eating their ballots
|
| (Western Daily Press) |
|
British teenager eats jam every day. The White Queen surrenders
|
 |
|
Ghost cow responsible for more than 20 accidents. "Luckily, the incident has not resulted in any witch hunts"</ | | |
