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| Sun June 13, 2004 |
| (Hoosier Gazette) |
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Fifteen-year-old sperm donor happy to come to brother's rescue
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| (naplesnews.com) |
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The Legend of Skunk Ape: It smells like boiled eggs, toilet, dog breath and paper bags that stink so much
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It's graduation season, the time of year when young people the world over put on funny hats, then officially become unemployed. Cheer them up with some alternative headgear for their commencements
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In what PR companies are calling a "publicity nightmare," Nicole Kidman gets funky with 10-year-old boy in upcoming movie
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| (Detective Clouseau) |
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Man who died of heart attack found missing his twigs and berries. Police label the death suspicious
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| (New Kerala) |
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In the face of stiff competition, bank targets sex workers as clients
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Crikey! Crocodile hunter faces $1m fine and two years behind bars for playing with whales and penguins
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| (Xposed) |
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Bar where customers strip shut down because it allowed customer nudity
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Female matadors take no bull from their male counterparts
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| (Forrest Gump) |
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Two men charged for illegally "monkeyfishing." Florida is as Florida does
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Study of seabirds has confirmed what women have always known: Men do not listen
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Veteran scolds Prince Charles for wearing the wrong kilt
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Frogs beat Limeys 2-1 by scoring twice in stoppage time. England surrenders
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They want you to go to hell, for vacation of course
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| (Some Guy) |
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Sunday boobies are here (not safe for work)
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| (The Journal News) |
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Judge orders college protesters to get a job
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Nineteen-year-old banned from driving until he is 62
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| (Some Guy) |
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Daycare center raided. Crack found stored in M&M containers. Your child wants rehab
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Dude, did you, like, just see a tiny plane fly by?
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Computer glitch results in $61 round-trip tickets to Iceland for over 100 people who notice bargain on the web
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L.A. police museum showcases the good, the bad and the ugly
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| (KATU Portland) |
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State education website accidentally linked to porn website. In case you were looking to finish your Masters in OH MY GOD YES HARDER
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| (PBS.org) |
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Theme: Unlikely PBS shows
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Convict asks judge for a lift back to prison
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Former CEO, indicted on securities fraud charges, says he'll return to the U.S. -- after he finishes his two- or three-week cruise vacation
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Court will decide if woman's boyfriends are acceptable from now on
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Toddler electrocuted after chewing through electrical cord
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After dodging him for more than a year, Paris Hilton will appear on Monday night's Dave Letterman Late Show
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Zeppelin, who hasn't had a hit in 67 years, back in business with Zeppelin NT (with pic)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this pale blue dot
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School cop thumbprints students after fund-raising money is stolen. Apparently, you can't do that
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| (some girl) |
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Cute redhead with freckles (not safe for work)
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With all other problems taken care of, state legislators in various states take on fake nails, pet cemetaries, etc.
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With police waiting outside her courtroom to arrest a suspect, a judge gave said suspect an escort out a back door to avoid arrest
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California eco-activist steals money won from successful environmental lawsuits. But it's okay, because "Her heart's in the right place"
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Purloined sirloin embroils three in 100-mile shoplifting spree
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| (Some Guy) |
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School-bus driver lets the kids drive
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British Forestry Commission creates 20 sunbathing spots for northern hairy wood ants
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| (Eagle Tribune) |
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Tryouts for Gilligan's Island reality show begin. Must be able to build coconut radio and take on the Harlem Globetrotters
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Dog survives 90-foot fall down cliff. That's about 630 human feet
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RIAA kindly requests that you please stop enjoying digital radio. Don't make them get Creed back together
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| (TU-Online) |
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Disgruntled customer poisons 600-gallon aquarium, killing $3000 worth of marine creatures, because he wasn't allowed to exchange a fish he purchased
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What do you get when you cross the Royal Canadian Mounted Police with the CIA?
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| (Shreveport Times) |
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Man spends the night inside Sears store; is visited by 15 officers and three dogs; spends next night in jail
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| Sat June 12, 2004 |
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Today's photoshop is brought to you by the letter R, the color yellow and the number 24
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| (Craftmanship Museum) |
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Think those little plastic models you build are art? Ha. (Click the pictures to see close-ups)
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| (NBC San Diego) |
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On top of old Smokey/All covered with toffee/We poisoned our teacher/Putting drugs in her coffee
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| (Cnews) |
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IOC President criticized for suggesting Athens Olympics may not be best ever
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Man wins $40,000 in race against horse
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Firefighters help elderly lady "clean up" her yard by burning down her house
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| (1010WINS radio) |
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Farmer's market was front for a brothel. Your elderly driver wants poontang
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| (NY Daily News) |
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Laundromat robbed by 13-year-old with 10-year-old accomplice. Police looking for bicycle loaded down with 75 pounds of quarters
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| (AZ Tribune) |
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Cop uses taser to get burglary suspect out of tree
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| (Some Guy) |
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"Sorry Mom and Dad, I lost your Jaguar at an illegal street race last night"
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North Korea's Dong missile could reach the United States
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| (TVNZ News) |
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Four-billion-year-old visitor drops in on unsuspecting family
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Man busted for wandering through neighborhood, setting fire to cars. With mugshot you can add to your collection
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Theme: Elephants in advertising
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| (Daily Record) |
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Keanu Reeves caught in drive-by shooting in L.A.; bends his body in impossible directions and does mid-air backflips to avoid bullets
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Squirt some Britney on you
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Greece unexpectedly beats Portugal 2-1 in Euro 2004
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| (Bullz-Eye) |
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Gotta love hot chicks in thongs (SFW)
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| (This Is Leicestershire) |
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Man sees teen tampering with his car, in true English style smashes cup of tea over kid's head
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British local election decided by rolling dice
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In the spirit of the free market, computer hackers in Russia have put their services up for sale, offering to "take out" any website for a price
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Estimated $100 million spent to save endangered mouse that doesn't exist
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| (theneworleanschannel.com) |
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Researchers say they have identified the spirits many say haunt a French Quarter hotel. There is no Dana, only Zuul
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| (DUI Delusional) |
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Seriously drunk driver proves that jeeps don't float, and eight imaginary friends are not accident victims
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Doctor refuses to do optional surgery on family of lawmaker who opposed legal-damages reform
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| (GulfLive.com) |
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Boat owner goes to fill up the gas tank, accidentally sticks the nozzle in the wrong hole, fills up his hull instead
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| (mcall.com) |
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Airport plans to move a stream, because pilots keep driving into it
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Rush Limbaugh demonstrates the sanctity of marriage by ending his
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Krishna pilgrims not allowed to take horse-covered wagons onto ferry, forced to use livestock trailer
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| (Soo Today) |
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Nigerians do their best to reach out to small town in Canada. Small town in Canada does its best to reach out to Nigeria with the long arm of the law
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| (Some Gal) |
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Theme: Photoshop a Star Trek character working another job in the offseason. Link goes nowhere special
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Still no cure for cancer, so buy some lemonade this weekend
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| (NewsNet5) |
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Customer asks restaurant worker for refund after spying a mouse. Clerk offers him a baseball bat instead
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Canadian killer whale has a couple of drinks, tries to hook up with a sea plane. Gets nothing
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Whisky is set to be the new vodka. Vanilla scotch ensues
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Waitress convinces drunk man to run full-speed into a wall. I don't know what else to say...
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Screw talking dogs -- sheep can recognise up to 50 facial expressions. Lonely shepherds glad lust not one of them
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Iraq's deputy foreign minister assassinated
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| (Some Guy) |
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Greetings from the Fluffy Bunny coven. Let us gather 'round the cauldron and partake in the watching of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on the WB
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| (Brunei Online) |
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Illegal loggers hire female strippers to protect their hot wood
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Letter announces prom "Protection Package" of condoms and lubricants to go along with complimentary rooms at the hotel hosting the prom. Smells like teen prank
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Trip to Edinburgh Butterfly Park goes horribly awry for 18-month-old when the pirahna-type fish attack
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| (nbc5i.com) |
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Delta commuter jet veers off runway at DFW airport. Elderly pilot apparently looking for farmers' market
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British war ships crash into each other while demonstrating their evasive maneuvers
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Buzzard dive-bombs rural England. Department of Department of Redundancy calls in an air strike
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| Fri June 11, 2004 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Very beautiful brunette (not safe for work)
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| (KnoxPages.com) |
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Man reports marijuana stolen, faces charges
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| (Some Guy) |
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Kazadir and the Gypsies prepare to be photoshopped
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Japanese Justice Ministry to allow Beetle, Sardine and Dung as names for newborn. Sadly, Fark not mentioned
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| (Some wiener) |
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Sausage factory owner believes it was okay to kill three meat inspectors for harassing and provoking him. Provocation consisted of inspecting his sausage factory
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Nichols escapes death penalty. Redneck riots to ensue
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Andy Roddick again sets record for fastest serve. Girlfriend Mandy Moore again frustrated
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Buzzards: 22, cyclists: 0. Hitchcock surrenders
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Why women fake orgasms. Men everywhere not clicking link because they don't really care, as long as they get theirs
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Japanese "sleep room" includes massage bed, soundproof walls, sleep counselor and reruns of Dawson's Creek
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| (Some Guy) |
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Golf fan gets to carry PGA Tour pro's bag after his caddy is fired in the middle of the round
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Twenty-three-acre lake disappears into sinkhole
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Father of videogames, Ralph Baer, speaks to High Times
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Skyscapers act like giant bird-zappers, kill one BILLION birds every year. Here comes the just-pulled-this-out-of-my-ass science
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"Son of Sam" killer David Berkowitz's prison blog, courtesy of The Smoking Gun
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| (WLBZ 2) |
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Tractor-trailer carrying 35,000 pounds of fresh fish explodes into flames after hitting moose
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Loan company offering poor people credit card -- at 65 percent interest
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| (Web India) |
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Justine Timberlake and Cameron Diaz throw surprise pajama party on plane full of people
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In case you were wondering, trying to pass 30,000 explosive devices through a security checkpoint is a dumb idea
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Drew and Brooks meet Melissa Lima in Los Angeles (with pic)
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Border Patrol agents upset that their new uniforms are made in Mexico
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| (This Is London) |
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Proof that you're unfit to be a hitman: Mistaking your sidekick's groin for the victim's head
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Princess was a con-artist. And a man
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| (Local10) |
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Man decides to look for keys in the middle of interstate. Darwin-arity ensues
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McCain says no to vice-president offer from Kerry
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| (Roanoke Times) |
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Eighty-year-old man finally decides to settle a 15-year-long financial dispute -- with a .357 caliber handgun
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| (wxyz.com) |
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Two-year-old boy survives 80-foot fall thanks to well placed bushes
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Man commits suicide by jumping out of a helicopter into the Grand Canyon
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Priest's memoirs tells of sex with women and a frustrated gay liaison
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Thousand-year-old padded bra unearthed in China
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| (Jinx) |
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You submitted this with a funnier headline -- new Fark gear available
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U.S. Dietary Panel revises Food Pyramid. Beer and Ho-Ho's left off
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Ebert tells LOTR fans to get a life, follows with underhanded apology. Vin Diesel to curse his colon
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| (Some Guy) |
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The Olsen Twins turn 18 this weekend -- celebrate by checking out their senior-year high school portraits
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TSA offering free knives and wire cutters to frequent flyers
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Germany's Euro 2004 team doctor advises players not to have sex before games because of physical and emotional strain involved. Advises drinking heavily instead
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Pics of man breaking world's handstand record
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop theme: Unlikely people surfing. Link goes to a surfer unlikely to be people
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| (Press & Journal) |
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Wearing your "Kiss My 4R5E" t-shirt to court is probably not going to impress the sheriff
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| (Palm Beach Post) |
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Military intelligence: Instead of sultry singing babe, troops at Gitmo given Jared from Subway
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Britain invents force field for tanks. "Raise shields and hail the vessel, Mr. Worf"
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Naughty, dirty, brazen. Ooohh, yeah. (Not safe for work)
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Vandals hit 33 cars in police-station parking lot
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Nine hundred-pound man gets a free ride on a cargo net, a pony ride from paramedics, finally rolls onto plank and calls it the most active day of his life
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Portugese police will allow British soccer hooligans to get stoned as a way of preventing a riot
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In an attempt to fight obesity, candy makers to start using healthier ingredients
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| (nydailynews.com) |
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Light beer sales will surpass regular beer in the United States by next year as low-carb diets such as Atkins and South Beach become more popular. Your dog sticks with Guinness
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| (some girl) |
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Hot guy in need of a fluffer (not safe for work)
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| (Pittsburgh Live) |
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Screaming fit leads to marijuana bust
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Economists claim money doesn't buy more sex. Economists have never heard of prostitution
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| (Some Guy) |
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AudioEdit a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop young Anakin Skywalker all grown up and posing with a fan
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| (Grand Rapids Press) |
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Bank error in your favor. Collect $60,000. Oops, wrong card. Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $60,000
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Yukon men try to give hitch-hiking Sasquatch a lift
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Increase in average ass size since 1922 leads to replacement of seats at Wimbledon
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| (Wichita Eagle) |
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"Debbie Does Dallas" opens in Wichita to rave reviews
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Transport officials assigned to count traffic on deserted cul-de-sac
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| (Some Guy) |
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IBM, Cisco develop world's most complex chip. Not nearly as interesting as world's largest Cheeto
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Teacher accused of viewing pr0n with his second-grade class
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| (Amazon.com) |
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Amazon selling 9,000 ladybugs
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| (WATE) |
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Man drives farm tractor onto active runway to prevent plane from landing. Jailarity ensues
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Cop: "Excuse me, sir. Do you realise you were travelling at 109 kph in your 15 tonne eight-wheel-drive Light Armoured vehicle?" Driver: "Yes, yes I did"
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Despite paying $5.50 per gallon, six helicopters land at gas station in Norway to get some fuel (slideshow)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Dear Los Angeles Lakers, you are now our bitch. Love, The Detroit Pistons
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| (The WMUR Channel) |
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New graduation tradition: Peeing all over the school
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South Africa civil servants shocked that they're being asked to do work; more shocked when new boss starts holding meetings at 4:00 AM
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| Thu June 10, 2004 |
| (TU-Online) |
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Couple kicked off plane after other passengers thought they were kidnapping their daughter
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Photoshop Richard Simmons and two of NYC's finest "getting down"
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| (Fox 43) |
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Liquor control officers do not ask for free samples
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man tired of waiting for his wife, drives car through front of store (with pic)
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| (AFL) |
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San Jose Sabercats fined $20,000 for giving fans more cowbell. Walken surrenders
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| (NBC5) |
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Rare ugly-ass baby kittens with excessively long fur now on display in Berlin, Germany (creepy pics included)
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| (mywesttexas.com) |
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Beginning in 1840 and continuing through 1960, presidents elected in every consecutive 20-year administration had died in office. Ronald Reagan was the first to defy that disturbing trend
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| (Some Guy) |
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Gaming community tracks down thieves of much anticipated Half Life 2 game
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White men can't jump. Larry Bird disagrees, saying NBA not "white enough"
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Hanging is now No. 1 form of suicide among American youths 10 to 14
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Swedish Navy testing stealth ship
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Seventh grade food fight begins with fruit cup, ends with jail time
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| (WNBC NYC) |
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Small plane crashes into sand trap on golf course, blows double eagle and invitation to Masters
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The new PDA for astronauts will propel itself around the Space Station, much like a cross between a tricorder and a lightsaber training droid
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| (Daily Camera) |
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Britney Spears sustains knee injury late in video shoot. Will have surgery and be on the DL for six weeks
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Competitive hot-dog eating hall of fame opens in Brooklyn
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| (Science Daily) |
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Nanotechnology pioneer says runaway replication of nanobots unlikely. Michael Crichton surrenders
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Drunken brawls ending in death due to drunks not falling properly
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Dave Chappelle in talks to star in a movie based on Rick James' autobiography
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| (Amazon) |
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Come color with George Bush
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A vote for the Marijuana Party is a vote for... what was I talking about? Awesome, Twinkies
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Theme: If Walt Disney was still alive, what kind of movies would he be making? (Link goes to his bio)
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| (Cheerleader) |
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Teen Girl Squad winamp skin. It looks sooooo good
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| (Akron Beacon Journal) |
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Today's "tigers and leopards aren't allowed to be kept in your backyard" story brought to you from the suburbs of Akron, Ohio
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Music legend Ray Charles dead at 73
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| (Boston Herald) |
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Vice principal catches students running the halls, makes them do the "seal walk" as punishment
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Famous last words: "Hey, you wanna see my grenade?"
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New robot can repair spines, find Sarah Connor
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| (WMTW) |
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Woman can't sue Fenway for foul-ball injury because a central feature of baseball is that batters "forcefully hit balls that may go astray from their intended direction"
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Dogs understand language. Your dog wants a Berlitz tape
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| (MSN (Duh)) |
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MSN's top 10 summer love songs. Not top, nor 10
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| (stltoday.com) |
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St. Louis City Council to give endorsement to plan that calls for moving Casino Queen riverboat to moat. Dragons reportedly lining up for job fair
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You know your life sucked if no one discovers your dead body for 20 years
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Satan saves teenager's life
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"Garfield is enough to make you long for the wit of Mike Meyers' 'The Cat in the Hat'"
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Mary Poppins could float down using an umbrella as a parachute. This guy couldn't
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| (Detroit News) |
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Detroit's ABC affiliate yanks Jimmy Kimmel's show because of too many Detroit jokes
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| (RSSportscars.com) |
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The skinny on the "I, Robot" Audi RS6 (with pictures)
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Scientists close to discovering "Holy Grail of Physics," a subatomic particle called Higgs bosun. In other news, farker close to discovering "Holy Grail of Boobies," friend Jennifer Higg's bosom
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Charity auction gives winner use of Oscar-Meyer Weinermobile for two days plus $5000. Gives new meaning to phrase "Wanna ride my weiner?"
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Bad: Pentagon wastes $100 million on unused airline tickets. Worse: Entire amount could have been refunded if they had bothered to try
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| (Some Guy) |
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Toby Keith and Ted Nugent perform in Fallujah
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Former marine and Gulf War veteran trained in survival. On the run in Detroit, killing cops for their guns
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Kentucky Governor Ernie Fletcher's arrival in Washington, D.C. sends everyone running for cover
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| (1010WINS radio) |
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Here comes the bride and her 1.7-mile-long veil
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this Farker doing a magic trick. Difficulty: 3.1
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New study reveals that high school diploma exams are geared to help dumbasses
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Porter wants his $40 million
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| (The Louisville Channel) |
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Dumbass trucker can't tell the difference between an exit and brick wall
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Good news: Global climate patterns stretching back 740,000 years have been confirmed by three-kilometer-long ice core drilled in the Antarctic. Bad news: Our present "mild snap" will only last another 15,000 years
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Drunk dentist passes out on top of patient while extracting her tooth
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Blowfish without poison; sushi for sissies
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Don't burp or it's to the cage with you
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| (Some Guy) |
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You can have your cake and eat her, too. (Not safe for work)
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Man accidentally kidnapped when thieves steal portable toilet he's using. Toilet-mayhem trifecta completed
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these pilots goofing off
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British scientists with lots of free time and cool laser tools build a Tyne Bridge replica only 400 microns wide
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Donald Duck turns 70. Still refuses to wear pants
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| (Mac Surfer) |
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New PowerMac liquid cooled with propylene glycol. Users' drool apparently not quite enough
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Motorist fined for killing elderly pedestrian but faces jail for hitting tree
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Artist hangs political painting made with his own semen at Metropolitan Museum of Art
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High school for sale on eBay. Included: Slightly used electronic devices worth several million dollars. "Thanks for playing in the 2004 senior prank"
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Man visits son, opens fridge to get some milk, finds body of son's wife stuffed inside
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| Wed June 09, 2004 |
| (Some Hindu newsite) |
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Harrods removes underwear that forces Hindus to bow to your almighty ass
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| (channeloklahoma.com) |
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Man drops pants in front of Oklahoma bomb survivors to make a statement about the positive things his state has to offer
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Teacher suspended for washing student's mouth out with soap
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Jail in Mexico offers inmates aroma therapy. Just drink the water
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Heaven smites Texas -- with pic of only survivor
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Teen dies from exploding hospital toilet
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It's cute when dogs stick their heads out car windows, not so cute when gators do it
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Ugly-ass wombat born in Sydney zoo -- here comes the picture
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| (Some Fark) |
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Let's do lunch with Ted Nugent. Photoshop The Nuge after he's killed something huge. Link goes to inspiration
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Flying toilet causes auto accident
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Scientology weaseling its way into public schools
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Anna Nicole Smith loses 69 pounds, retains ginormous cans. (SFW)
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| (Turnto10.com) |
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Texas quarter enters circulation after much debate on whether it should depict mother drowning children in tub, or woman driving home with body embedded in windshield
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| (The Iowa Channel) |
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Female veterans statue looks like something out of a Victoria's Secret ad
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Biggest news story from the G8 Summit: International leaders enjoy riced-up golf carts
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| (Dark Horizons) |
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Vin Diesel knows his D&D shizzle. Proof D&D nerds do get laid every once in a while
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Jose Lima hasn't allowed a run over his last 20 and 2/3 innings
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Ugly-ass undersea volcano born (with pic)
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| (wcco) |
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Recall on holsters that cause guns to fire
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Man arrested for tossing lit cigarette butt into baby stroller
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| (Evening Times) |
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Workers fixing contaminated water supplies at school flush the system with chlorine, accidentally killing all of the pet goldfish in the students' pond. Students distraught, but looking forward to fish-stick day
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| (Some Guy) |
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These doorbell buttons will advertise your geekdom to every Jehovah's Witness in the world
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This week's Naked Joke, Victoria Zdrok: Second Opinion. (Not safe for work)
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| (KTRK) |
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Peculiar woman finds ring
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Man successfully implements phase one of his plan to take over the world
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| (Goliard) |
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Technology vs. magic
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| (Riceboy page) |
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Forget cars -- rice out a household appliance instead
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IT morale drops to all time low -- you heard about it while farking
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| (NBC5i.com) |
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Blood slick causes traffic jam. You submitted this with a better headline
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No. 2 guy at Coca-Cola passed over for No. 1 job. Looks like an ugly situation
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"D'oh" the top television catchphrase. Duke still sucks
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A diaper-rash cream maker targets the Depends crowd
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| (Sun Times) |
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The 20 greatest sports rivalries
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 |
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Microsoft patents the "to-do" list
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Finnish fappin' fodder Falchi (not safe for work)
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Blast in Cologne injures many
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After 19 years, postal service finally delivers Cabbage Patch Kid
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Beekeepers remove 700,000 bees from man's home
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Trailer for Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11
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| (WRAL) |
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"Drinking milk until you puke" is not an acceptable high school science experiment
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Theme: Unlikely computer peripherals
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Loan sharks put corpse in wheelchair, roll him into bank to make pension withdrawal
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Angkor empire fell to silt. American empire expected to fall to discarded cheeseburger wrappers
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Custom Cuban street bike assembly instructions
|
| (Newsfilter.org) |
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The hottest Columbian, Lucia Tovar. (Not safe for work)
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| (Financial Times) |
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For all of you that bought those "cheaper" adjustable rate mortgages, Greenspan is preparing to bring the pain
|
| (Some beer Guy) |
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Bar webcams, now watch others get drunk. (How is that fun?)
|
| (some girl) |
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Cute guy with broad shoulders (not safe for work)
|
| (The Milwaukee Channel) |
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Today's "Darwin Award nominee" story brought to you by Milwaukee, WI
|
| (CBS 11) |
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Plane passenger, thinking it rude to turn off her cell phone while in the middle of a call, slaps federal air marshal when asked to do so. Handcuffalarity ensues
|
| |
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Widow has husband's ashes made into diamonds for herself and daughters
|
| (Delta Times) |
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Man surprised when pipe bomb rolls out of soda vending machine
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Lakers beat Pistons to tie series
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| |
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Flight attendant saves everyone on board by ignoring captain's orders not to use fire extinguisher to put out fire
|
| Tue June 08, 2004 |
| (Some Nerds) |
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Photoshop this "epic battle"
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| |
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Trucker gets shot in head while driving, lives to tell about it because cell phone he was holding took the bullet. New York surrenders
|
| |
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Cranberry farmers tell Pepsi to take a hike in a deep bog
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 |
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Finns testing guide phone for blind people. Your dog needs new employment
|
| (Napa News) |
|
Back to nature: Napa Valley cemetary offers organic burial. Your friends dig a hole and you're buried in a biodegradable box
|
| (New Zealand Herald) |
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Asshat urbanites move to the country, complain that cows "ruin the ambience"
|
| |
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Java's lava kills two. "They didn't hava chance," locals claimed
|
| (San Francisco Examiner) |
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$163-million bullet train takes four minutes longer than regular car to cover Cali commute
|
| (NBC5i.com) |
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Woman sentenced to bread and water for neglecting horses
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| |
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Girl tells Hungarian voters she will strip if they vote liberal (with link to ad)
|
| (Wistechnology.com) |
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Future car engine would run on sugar. Oil companies to buy plans, patent and hide them
|
| (TotalFarker) |
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One of the 90 boobies links submitted to TotalFark since Monday 00:00 (NSFW)
|
| (Guinness) |
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Hundreds of farkers suddenly receive their bar towels
|
 |
|
Maxim gives us tips on how to speed without getting caught
|
| |
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New high-tech toilet can massage, dry, spritz your butt with deodorizer
|
| |
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Magic Johnson to buy 30 Burger King restaurants. "Have it your way" slogan to include HIV-free whoppers
|
| (KIRO TV) |
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Buddhist monks hospitalized after brawl
|
| (NBC10) |
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Philadelphia Gas Works wants to charge paying customers for the debts of non-paying customers. They just don't want to tell the paying customers what the extra charges are for
|
| |
|
Greyhounds test positive for cocaine. Zoom zoom zoom...
|
| (SOHH) |
|
Yet another rapper says to the media, "There's no proof I shot anybody"
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Jelly Belly puts tribute to Reagan on its website, which includes portrait done completely with jelly beans
|
| (Forbes) |
|
Top 10 IPOs of the decade
|
 |
|
Kickin cheats in the hereafter
|
| |
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TV show in Serbia called "Taxi" has politicians picking up voters and talking to them, with funny foreign guy for comic relief
|
| |
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Ohio State fires basketball coach Jim O'Brien
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Photoshop your favorite rapper endorsing your favorite product. Link goes to Lil' Jon
|
| (contra band) |
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Reagan supporters want his face on $10 bill. Can't remember who's on it now
|
| |
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Popcorn used to simulate oil spill
|
 |
|
Dewey Defeats Lightning. Tampa Tribune runs editorial saying the Lightning lost Game 7
|
| |
|
Punk guitarist dies of heroin overdose at 61... because old age was taking too damn long
|
| |
|
Company to provide one million free flags for Friday's memorial service in Reagan's honor. (First item)
|
| |
|
Russian scientists come up with a new theory of early human migration patterns
|
| |
|
One of Nevada's best-known brothels can be yours for $7 million
|
| |
|
Crazy man creates major freak out after attempting to break into school to confess his sins
|
| (Pittsburgh Live) |
|
Man disassembles loaded gun, fires bullet into sink, slug promptly richochets into his head
|
 |
|
Deep Truths of Bubba Ho-Tep. Truth No. 1: Bruce Campbell is The King
|
 |
|
What items are necessary to have the ultimate bachelor pad? Currently have all the gaming systems, and getting a foosball table
|
| |
|
Tips for women who often feel typsy
|
| |
|
Pamphlet tells football fans how to avoid serous injury when watching TV
|
| (Some Visalian) |
|
Harry Potter movies not as good as books. In other news, books not as good as a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, but still better than standing in the sun with butter on your head
|
| |
|
New glass needs only sunshine and happiness to clean itself
|
| |
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Really drunk unemployed guy arrested for making over 9,000 curse-filled prank calls to police. Bailarity does not ensue
|
| |
|
Ugly-ass, record-breaking baby hippo born in Russia
|
| (Some Planet Dude) |
|
Streaming video links of Venus transit are rapidly becoming Farked. Here are minute-by-minute photo updates
|
| (Monkey College) |
|
Monkeys help the disabled. Photoshop some other animals helping the disabled
|
| |
|
Couple diagnosed with fatal illnesses. Blow their entire life savings on things they wanted to do before they die. Doctors say, "Ooops, you're not sick anymore"
|
| |
|
Kenyan police impersonator finally stopped. Reports unclear whether it was shoe-brush he tried to pass off as a gun, or sheep he tried to pass off as a dog, that gave him away
|
| |
|
Melbourne may name street after legendary band, AC/DC
|
 |
|
MTV plans to remove Eminem's ass from 2004 Movie Awards
|
| |
|
Two Old Friends break the Sounds of Silence to try and keep from Slip Slidin' Away before they go Homeward Bound
|
| |
|
Bank robbers apparently adopting cashback reward programs
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| |
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Wanking your way to weight loss
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| |
|
City may encourage people to drink and drive
|
| |
|
Judge rules sufficient cause to prosecute Lindhorst, the mystery protein fairy
|
| |
|
Yoda has been identified as a WASP
|
| |
|
Scientists develop new diet pill to shift fat not melt it. Your girl wants more bootay
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Boy not allowed to take pornstar to prom. Oh, the injustice
|
| (NBC4) |
|
Ohio lawmaker wants Reagan added to Mount Rushmore and ketchup declared a vegetable for school lunches
|
| Mon June 07, 2004 |
| |
|
Nevada town manages to solve rampant goat unemployment problem
|
| |
|
Photoshop the Dodgers' Adrian Beltre having a little trouble with the laws of physics
|
| |
|
Man scares off robbers by faking epileptic seizure
|
| (TSN.ca) |
|
Tampa Bay Lightning win Stanley Cup
|
| (The Star) |
|
Man surprised to find live mortar bomb resting under his bed
|
| |
|
Fishermen call off sea cucumber protest
|
| (WALB.com) |
|
When pouring gasoline around and throwing a Molotov cocktail through the window of your neighbor's house, ensure you light it on fire first
|
| (Some Gal) |
|
Origins of the phrases "Bee's Knees," "posh," "Head over Heels" and more
|
| |
|
High court rules that cell phone companies cannot be held responsible for car accidents. Hot coffee still fair game
|
 |
|
Ultra-secure quantum cryptography network now operational. Here comes the science
|
| |
|
Schools urged to tell children they can't catch HIV or be abducted by aliens from using the internet
|
| |
|
Half megawatt matchstick to set salt flats alight
|
| |
|
AudioEdit an advertisement for schweaty balls
|
| (Digital Spy) |
|
Orlando Bloom made to wear chest wig to look more manly in his new film, fangirls all over the world burst into tears
|
| |
|
Group of nutjobs who believe in aliens proposes a new currency for human-extra terrestrial financial transactions
|
| (Cnews) |
|
Malaysian politicians banned from partying "because it could tarnish the image of the government"
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Theme: Prescription drugs of the future
|
| (MosNews.Com) |
|
Hemp Vodka is allowed to sell in Russia
|
| (Red vs. Blue) |
|
New Red Vs. Blue, And how many snack cakes have you had today?
|
| |
|
Book publisher using sexy models, cash give-aways to get men to read more books
|
| |
|
"Bald" an official hair color on Montana driver's and fishing license applications
|
| (Press and Journal) |
|
Sole objector to proposed speed limit change lives 500 miles away from road in question
|
| (Boston Herald) |
|
Boston police arrest street masseuses
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
How much do you spend a month on beer/alcohol? Figure it out and post it here (unless you're afraid..)
|
| (KCTV) |
|
Trees continue their vicious war against humanity by killing a child
|
 |
|
Canadian berries "too novel" for UK market. Twig unavailable for comment
|
| |
|
David Hasselhoff busted for DUI. Apparently the cops didn't buy his "the talking car was driving" excuse
|
 |
|
Styx guitarist admits farewell tour is just cheap capitalist ploy
|
| (Some Chalupa) |
|
Assault with a deadly chalupa
|
| (Press and Journal) |
|
Blind people given chance to drive. Coming soon to a farmer's market near you
|
| |
|
Plastic surgery can now give men "six-pack" abs - marker not included
|
| |
|
Christians touting new hottest all-the-rage diet based on Bible passages
|
| |
|
All new Sportscenter in HD debuts tonight at 11 p.m. ET
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Theme: What you might expect to find on the other side of a black hole
|
| (The Mirror) |
|
Transcript of UK Big Brother producers slagging off housemates when live internet feed gets 'accidentally' switched with live studio feed. Job losses to ensue
|
| (Some Metalhead) |
|
Metallica's Lars Ulrich in hospital, band misses Download Festival Performance (note irony). Slipknot and Slayer drummers fill in (w/ links to pics)
|
| (Technology Review) |
|
Sensors track strength of martial arts blows
|
| |
|
American-style barbecue attracts American-style gun violence. When will the madness end?
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
An imaginary Guinness magnet to go with your imaginary Guinness towel
|
| |
|
Vomiting in public may soon be illegal in Bendigo
|
| |
|
Today's collapsing carnival ride with multiple injuries brought to you by the funfair at Alexandra Palace in North London and The Sun (pics)
|
 |
|
How Reagan changed the GOP forever
|
| |
|
The secret tricks job interviewers use to judge your personality are revealed: purposely spilling things on you, calling your house and pretending to be a telemarketer, and more
|
| |
|
Famous Ronald Reagan quotes
|
| |
|
Monsters of J.R.R. Tolkien (quiz)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
New rage: for fake boobies, fake nipple perkieness. Technology in action
|
| |
|
Bush declares Friday a government holiday in honor of Reagan
|
 |
|
Dave Chappelle: The reason why everybody tries to act like Lil Jon
|
| (Some Bardolatrous Cinephile) |
|
Combine a Shakespeare quote and a movie quote. Example: "Being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful gun in the world, had you the strength of twenty men it would dispatch you straight."
|
| (WTOP) |
|
Credit counseling company, AmeriDebt, files for bankruptcy
|
| |
|
Scientist claims he may have found the lost city of Atlantis
|
| |
|
Basketball discussion
|
| (Johnny_Sack) |
|
The official Sopranos season-ending discussion. Spoilers within
|
| |
|
Theme: Drew, a shoe and Mountain Dew
| | |
