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| Sun May 23, 2004 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Nice, natural boobies (not safe for work)
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| (The Hampton Union) |
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Jewel makes fun of fat, toothless concert-goers; tells crowd to stop staring at her teeth and look at her breasts
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Photoshop what this cricket player is pointing at
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| (NY Daily News) |
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Stop the world -- Avril Lavigne is wearing... gasp... a dress
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California bar owners suing underage drinkers for legal bills
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| (Exploding Cigar) |
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Pink dinosaur pops up in a camera used to monitor a remote New Zealand volcano. Japan immediately activates all anti-giant monster forces
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| (Time of India) |
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Russian schools planning to set up smoking lounges for children to prevent forest fires (with photo of five-year-old boy lighting up)
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Ship carrying 4000 Hyundais and Kias sinks after collision. Losses estimated in the "thousands"
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Black Death "is lying in wait"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Google used to measure fame. Drew Curtis equals 376,000 hits. Here comes the science
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| (Some Guy) |
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A few years ago, cell phones were feared to cause cancer. Now cell phones are feared to cause gas station explosions. Photoshop what problems cell phones will cause in the future
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Roses are red, roses are blue. Scientists are great, no cancer cure for you
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| (Some Swede) |
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More proof that Europeans have better taste than Americans
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Seattle man needs to find 100 cows for wife's dowry
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In addition to their cars, Saturn now offers dent-resistant blimps
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Researchers identify gene that markedly increases teenager's risk of self-mutilation
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Photoshop this MMSD worker strolling the Deep Tunnel in Milwaukee
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| (News8 Hawaii) |
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Surfing is now the official Hawaiian school sport. Cowabunga, dude
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Paris airport ceiling collapse kills several
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Eighty percent of all email insists that your penis is too small and v*iag_r@ is on sale
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The Justice Department will Meet the Press when Tim Russert gets caught in the Crossfire involving a CIA agent's information being leaked
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| (KGBT) |
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While you shouldn't cry over spilled milk, it is quite natural to tear up over 4,500 pounds of mashed onions on the highway
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| (Library of Congress) |
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U.S. Congress tries to give itself power to reverse Supreme Court decisions. Invisibility and flying next on list
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New Zealand to lower age of consent to 12
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop a religious cleric onto a movie poster
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Sydney beach to ban smoking because it harms whales
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Lightning ground Flyers, 2-1; head to Stanley Cup Finals
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| Sat May 22, 2004 |
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Your organic food may not be organic food
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Bush suffers cuts, bruises in bike ride
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| (Some Guy) |
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Beer lovers, rejoice: The bottomless pint. Here comes the science
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| (Some Guy) |
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Toddler bitten by man. Man claims it served him right
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Man sends text messages to girlfriend, even when in same room
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Novice enters World Series of Poker
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| (some girl) |
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Hot guy in his skivvies (not safe for work)
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| (Trek Web) |
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William Shatner to guest star on "Enterprise" next season
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There's nothing like a huge, 45-family yard sale to kill off an entire Saturday
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Paralyzed, impotent man sues for 22 years worth of Viagra
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| (The Topeka Capitol-Journal) |
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Family adopts injured cow, dresses it up, builds baby swing (with pic)
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Council sends man garbage bags and broom after he complains about dirty street
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| (Some Guy) |
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Create a Fark-themed set of Tarot cards. Link goes to tarot definitions
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Having solved all of the state's problems, Pennsylvania lawmakers name an official state soil
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Facing a severe stripper shortage, Canada imports some from Mexico. Officials credit NAFTA (blurry pic)
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| (Muscatine Journal) |
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Neighbors upset about man's bed-and-breakfast catering to the whips-and-bondage crowd
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Just in case you havent had your civil rights stepped on enough, prepare to be randomly stopped and IDed in Boston
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| (Grand Forks Herald) |
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Woman stabs brother over "stinky socks"
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Woman charged with child endangerment after subjecting stepson to a really cold shower
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Latvia's KGB archives opened to the public
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Girl goes on TV to complain that Nordstrom doesn't have any modest clothes. Will never get another date
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British archives reveal a Cold War asploding pigeon plan
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France surrenders: Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11 wins at Cannes
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California moves to ban teenagers from tanning booths
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| (first amendment center) |
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Michigan school officials pull plug during graduation speech after class president refers to school as a "prison"
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Media attempts to send thousands of Britons into mass hysteria by claiming they may have human form of mad cow disease
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| (Newsfilter.org) |
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The Bucci twins: Four boobies are better than two (not safe for work)
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Male cleavage is all the rage this summer
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Shaq may miss a lot of free throws, but a killer does not miss his housekeeper
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Colorado inmates too dangerous for Texas prisons, forwarded to Mississippi
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| (KOCO ChannelOklahoma.com) |
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Billy Bob Thornton seen looting X-Boxes from six Oklahoma Targets
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| (Sweater Puppies) |
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In honor of Jose Lima's wife's boobies photoshop, what's been cropped out of other famous photos
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Gullible Chinese man eats 13 frogs and almost dies after following healer's advice
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| (Mlive.com) |
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Snake handler demonstrating how rattlesnakes strike gets bitten by rattlesnake
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London Mayor Ken Livingstone's message to parents who use 4x4s to take children to city schools: "You are a complete idiot"
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New sensor chip can detect Anthrax. Plans for detecting Scorpions and Whitesnake underway
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I don't want to work just want to bang on the drum all day
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Man finds inventive new way to make sure the train stops at his station
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Sheriff charges prisoners $60 a day for the privilege to live in his jail
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Rafters conquer world's longest river. Disappointed over lack of dueling banjos along the way
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| (WJXT News4Jax.com) |
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Today's "one-sided SWAT standoff" story brought to you by Florida
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Theme: Robots' first dismal attempts at taking over the world
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| (Boob Inspector) |
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Beautiful morning boobies, perfect Saturday starter
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Money earmarked to fight Goth culture returned due to lack of interest
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| (katu) |
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Man and daughter discovered living in forest for four years. Baloo unavailable for comment
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| (Lexington Herald) |
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Anti-Defamation League is cracking down on offensive t-shirts. Fark ad sponsors surrender
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Ten record covers The Man didn't want you to see (with a couple of barely NSFW pics)
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Man is hanging from a cross until Monday to raise money for poverty-stricken Haiti
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| Fri May 21, 2004 |
| (The Indy Channel) |
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Dog receives lawyer after biting owner
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| (The Citizen) |
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Allotment holders who grew crops in arsenic-contaminated soil claim their veggies are safe to eat
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If it weren't for one Russian's quick thinking, we'd all be dead
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Freddy Adu bids adieu to high school at the age of 14
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| (Grand Island Independent) |
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Your car wants cow brains
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Photoshop the tallest guy in the world. (Link goes to gallery 1-7, take your pic)
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| (Sign on San Diego) |
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Today's "geezer plowing down pedestrians" story brought to you by La Jolla, California
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| (Channel Cincinnati) |
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Today's "59 dogs, four cats and three children living in one house" story brought to you by Grant County, KY
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| (Anime News Network) |
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Japanese company to make anime movie about teenage lesbian pop group, t.A.T.u. Cue the tentacles
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Photographer catches UFO on film (with photo, video)
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Majority of prison abuses took place on one day. The same day the Red Cross pulled out of Iraq due to instability and increasing acts of violence by insurgents
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Maltese moon memento misappropriated. Medina museum managers maddened
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Ireland bans video comparing the voting process to a baby trying to decide which of its mother's breasts to feed from: it's a choice between two boobs
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| (Gloucs Echo) |
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Two-year-old receives polling card to vote in local election
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| (Some Guy) |
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Early evening Fark Party Dallas pictures. The goggles, they do nothing
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| (da bomb) |
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Senior softball player finds lit pipe bomb in the outfield, picks it up, tags runner out at home with it
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Tecate to end "Finally, a Cold Latina" ad campaign
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Porsche drivers most likely to cheat on their wives
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| (KVOA) |
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iVacuation
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| (Janesville Gazette) |
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Big boobies bitterly battle Bush's big business bunch by bringing brainless bums before ballot booths
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Federal agent charged with perjury in Martha Stewart case -- doilies were actually cotton, not linen
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| (Some Fool) |
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I pity the fool who don't wish Mr. T a happy birthday today
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During sex, women are already planning what will happen nine months later
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Man steals luxury yacht to visit daughter
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| (Aussie Farker) |
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Photoshop these serious North Korean delegates watching a 3D movie
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| (MLive) |
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Help flush away cancer
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Ten-year-old boy digs up medieval ring in field, will never be left alone by LOTR nerds for the rest of his life
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| (WTOP) |
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A worm a day keeps the proctologist away
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Woman calls police three times wanting to buy crack cocaine
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Slow down, tree-hugger: The faster you go, the more fuel your hybrid needs
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Flatulent bulldogs rule as Cannes top dogs
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Residents all over Boston terrorized by riders of pygmy motorcycles
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| (NZ Herald) |
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Hitler "thank you" card bought for thousands of dollars at auction
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When out on a pub crawl, don't bring people that will push you in front of your bus
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Four arrested in Iraq for Berg killing
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College students set record for most nude rollercoaster riders (with NSFW pics)
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Thief freaks out after he realises the car he stole comes standard with a toddler
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NY lawyer fined $8,500 for barking at witness, leaving puddle on the floor
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Hefty lefty David Wells loses epic battle with bar stool in his own kitchen
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Photoshop these screaming Calgary Flames fans. Watch the hand
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| (Cnews) |
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1913 Liberty Head nickel, minted under mysterious circumstances, sells for $3 million
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| (TampaBayLive.com) |
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Woman escapes seven-foot aligator, but not before losing rear bumper
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The U.S. is slowing sinking, Canada is slowing rising up. U.S. to move Miami, L.A. to Maine to try and save us all
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Boston Fark party, July 24 at 7:00pm at JJ Foley's. Drew and others will be in attendence. Link goes to info about JJ Foley's
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| (Glendale Star) |
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With no time to wait for rescue equipment, firefighters lift car off trapped boy with bare hands
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| (delcotimes.com) |
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Student not allowed to participate in elections because of sudden new GPA rules and his last name sort of sounding like a drug
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Man posing as father of a Detroit Tigers pitcher making rounds and expecting freebies, only thing he may be getting is condolences and a punch in the groin
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Earth now fourth rock from the sun
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"Cajun Spammer" tells Senate Commerce Committee he may relapse into illegal tactics in order to continue sending the 30-million emails a day he sends from his underground nuclear-fallout shelter
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Ugly-ass picture of baby found in a drawer. Apparently drawn by some Italian ninja turtle guy 500 years ago
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Two bombs defused outside McDonald's in Rome. Suspect spotted fleeing scene muttering "robble, robble, robble"
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NYC officer hasn't taken sick day in 40 years
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| (Boortz.com) |
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Friend of Fark, Neal Boortz, celebrates his 35th year on Atlanta radio with "Boortzapalooza"
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| Thu May 20, 2004 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Flyers Orange Crush the Lightning 5-4 in OT, forcing game seven
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| (Bidaily Celebrity) |
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Yes, Virginia, there ARE naked Cindy Margolis pictures (not safe for work)
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| (Matt4684) |
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Photoshop these roofers. Difficulty: Not falling off of the roof
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| (CBS 11) |
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Woman splashes man's face with boiling oil in Bible-verse dispute
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Beckham keeps it Real
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| (WRAL news) |
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Do not throw duck poop on your neighbor's door
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Female employee finds web cam under her desk (with perv pic)
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Federal rule requires porn spam to now identify itself in subject line. Porn spammers available for comment, but can't stop giggling
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Talking toilet orders men to sit down
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Fan, poked with mystery object at Coors Field, dies
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| (WCCO) |
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Wigged burglar in women's clothes caught on tape (with video)
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And the universe comes to full balance as study finds caffeine prevents the damage beer causes
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"I was thinking about it, but then I wouldn't have any gas." Gas station boycott doesn't happen
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Man arrested for driving lawnmower while drunk down street. Currently being held on $50,000 bail
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Student suspended for throwing a pie in the principal's face, after winning a school-sponsored contest to throw a pie in the principal's face
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Scientists discover hand of man in dog DNA. Your dog wants steak
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Pringles introducing chips printed with trivia
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Keith Richards to release new reggae CD. Our ears surrender
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Snopes casts doubt on story of German couple who didn't know how to have sex
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Bomb explodes outside of McDonald's in Istanbul, not Constantinople
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| (Centre Daily Times) |
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New breed of dinosaur discovered, has mysterious extra hole in head
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| (Some Guy) |
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Company gets broken into five times. Company hires security company who installed video surveillance system. Security guards forget about video surveillance, decide to break in. Jailarity ensues
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Dennis Hastert, who was too fat to serve in Vietnam, gives John McCain, who spent five years as a prisoner of war in Vietnam, a lecture on the sacrifices of war
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| (Some Guy) |
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Stephen R. Donaldson to write four new Thomas Covenant novels, with chapter teaser and nifty trailer
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NOAA says that there's a 50-percent chance that the hurricane season will be worse than average
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| (London Free Press) |
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Old and busted: Farmer's Markets. New hotness: Bus shelters
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Black Sabbath to reunite for Ozzfest
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XXXChurch claims to have originated the "Every time you masturbate... God kills a kitten" cliche. Apparently read Fark
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The movie Troy is inspiring women to dress like Aphrodite, with SFW pics
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| (Strawberry Radio) |
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We need more fruity gear. Photoshop your favorite fruit with your favorite electronic thing
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| (some girl) |
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Variety is the spice of life (not safe for work)
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A third of German motorists fantasize about sex when stuck in traffic, while 10 percent think about finding alternate route. Remaining drivers think about Hasselhoff
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Ice-T teaching David Hasselhoff how to rap. Your dog wants earplugs
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New air force radio jams garage-door openers
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| (WTOP) |
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Left side of man's brain shrinking for unknown reasons. Only test left is the one that kills you
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| (KPTV) |
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Vampires apparently roaming the streets of Portland
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| (Times Dispatch) |
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When selling exotic animals illegally, do not hang a sign on the front of your store that says "live exotic animals"
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Man fined $312 for driving a donkey while drunk
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NY Jets unveil plans for Manhattan stadium, complete with 25,000 solar collector tubes and 34 40-foot tall wind turbines (pics)
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Laura Bush goes on Leno, dishes dirt on president. Admits he ran car into wall of garage after she criticized speech
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Rumsfeld could be sentenced to death for signing off on mistreatment, per 1996 Congressional act
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Bride goes on three-month shoplifting spree to prepare for wedding
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| (Roanoke.com) |
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Security concerns stop Bush from attending daughters' university graduations. No security concerns for his commencement address at another university two days later (scroll down)
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Woman arrested carrying 266 dead parrots
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Boy fends off alligator with fists of fury. Happy Gilmore unavailable for comment
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Cyber church will now use "smite" button to kick out people who use abusive language
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| (Some Cereal eater) |
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What's your favorite breakfast cereal?
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| (Boston Herald) |
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Airlines giving free airline tickets to people doing nice things in Boston today
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Michigan to divorcing couples: Even though you probably hate each other's guts, we're going to make you suffer a little more, make you take a class with each other
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AudioEdit your very own Wesley Willis song. Medication not included
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Scientists discover Chicago is sinking. Oprah and Jerry Springer guests blamed
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Mother of accused serial killer who hanged himself in jail sues jail builders for not making hanging impossible
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Senate staffer keeps not-so-secret sex blog. Unemployarity ensues
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Researchers breakthrough dyslexia, hail treatment
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| (wpvi.com) |
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Man spends $28,000 at strip club and still doesn't get laid
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ESPN reporter brings camera crew to apologize to Cubs player for reporting he urinates on his hands
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Dog really needs to be fixed after owner attempts home neutering
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| (Web India) |
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Someone has finally eaten the $1,000 omlette
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| (News4 Jax) |
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Airstrike hit a safehouse, not a wedding
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Pitcher breaks 97-year-old record for consecutive scoreless innings
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Iraqi who gave us all that "darn good intelligence" arrested for littering or something
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Seven percent of people can't pee away from home. Here comes the lawsuit
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop: They call it "dipnetting." I call it "photoshop contest opportunity"
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| (CBS 3) |
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Top 10 dirtiest foods that will make you sick, will raise news ratings during sweeps
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| (News Tribune) |
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Man throws pie at face of visiting Israeli dignitary. Israeli bodyguards then proceed to beat the snot out of him in public. Heard to ask, "Why is this pie different from any other?"
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Bo Derek speaks out against horsemeat
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| (Courier Journal) |
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Marathon Ashland takes blame for gas problems in Kentucky
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| (Financial Times) |
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Employees at nuclear power plant learn they've been drinking the same water that just came in contact with uranium rods in reactor core. Radiation sickness ensues
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Six feisty-assed Meercats born at Edinburgh Zoo (pics)
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| (News 4 Jax) |
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Building contracter hires three firefighters to burn down $1.5 million house after owner refuses to pay in full. Hilarity ensues
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Man files complaint against elephant
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First monkey college opens. Expect students to riot after Banana Bowl
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Calgary Flames become first Canadian team in 10 years to make it to the Stanley Cup final
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| Wed May 19, 2004 |
| (Some Floridian) |
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Outback Steakhouse: No rules, just fight
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Spectacles with built-in memory could help forgetful humans, if they can only remember where they left them
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NYC Fark Party June 18th at HiFi. Click on link for details
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| (Okoboji) |
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Take the University of Okoboji entrance exam
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: In the style of Pliny the Elder, make the image of Helen of Troy out of the features of other beautiful women
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| (Communication Worker) |
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Can you hear me now? 100,000 SBC workers set to strike tomorrow at midnight
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| (Auto Express UK) |
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Man obsessed with Volkswagen Beetles builds a three-story bug (w/pics)
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Kmart recalls Martha Stewart matches because they ignite upon impact
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Woman awakes to find police sniper in her kitchen, trying to take out the crazy guy across the street
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Welcome to married life -- new wife selling her hubby's collection of Magic cards
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Scientists modify plants to produce fish oil. Mom's old fashioned robot oil company unavailable for comment
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Trolls curse first Internet church
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Jail imposes dress code for visitors, because "We've had women flash the men they come in to see"
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Kennedy denounces troops for Kennedy-like behavior
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| (Darth Sidious) |
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Obi Wan Kenobi receives emergency medical treatment for mosquito death bite
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Someone on rapper 'Twista's bus left a little souvenir for Indianapolis fans after the concert
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| (Some Guy) |
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Yankee stadium stops selling Cracker Jack
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| (Sanluisobispo) |
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Dog discovered alive five weeks after falling down a 30-foot hole; wants steak
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| (Honolulu Advertiser) |
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Pentagon space-laser exceeds cost estimates. May be attributable to filling jerk professor's house with popcorn
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Antonio Banderas gets emotional after watching Shrek 2, cries and holds hand of Justin Timberlake
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U.S. strike kills 40 at Iraqi wedding party
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Having solved all other problems, member of the Parliament calls on his fellow lawmakers to denounce England's soccer referees as "appalling" because his team lost
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Oil speculators have added at least $10 to the price of oil
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| (Some cultured chick) |
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What sort of things would DaVinci invent/paint if he were alive today?
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| (Poughkeepsie Journal) |
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SUNY student's cellphone probably didn't start gas-pump fire
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| (Rockford Register-Star) |
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Nothing says, "Hey, we're cosmopolitan" like a whole passel of giant fiberglass sock monkeys
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Last Tasmanian devil in the U.S. dies -- apparently ate one too many fake rabbits made out of dynamite
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Google's raises Gmail storage limit to one terabyte?
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| (Granma International) |
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"Sex during old age is not a myth." It's just really upleasant to think, hear or read about
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Man tries to avoid court appearence by attempting to ship himself to Cape Verde. Does not anticipate shipping company leaving the box he's in on the dock during 90-degree weather. Hilarity ensues
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Dodgeball grows up, gains popularity with older, still-living-with-parents crowd
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| (Overlawyered) |
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Lawyers park "mobile law office" next to fire hydrant in doctors-only parking area outside emergency room (with pics)
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| (The Omaha Channel) |
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Nebraska governor declares next month "Crash Free June," so try not to crash your car in Nebraska next month
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| (This is Devon) |
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British doctors to earn £100 for every patient they don't send to hospital
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Jello shots not only have gone mainstream, they have become rather nauseating as well
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Stolen Stradivarius recovered by nurse. Boyfriend wanted to make it into a CD rack
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Self-proclaimed messiah admits having all his teeth pulled wasn't as bad as electroshock therapy he received "30 decades" ago. Also claims to have boinked over a thousand men and women
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Billy Joel signs deal to write two children's books. Tentative title of first book: The Little Car That Crashed
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| (Newsfilter.org) |
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Playboy Playmate Neriah Davis (not safe for work)
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British Parliament suspended during Prime Minister's questions when powder is thrown at Tony Blair
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Toilet paperless Norwegians now lose their beer
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Arts program for mentally ill called "MadforArts." Politicians not exactly crazy about the name, say entire thing is retarded
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Self-sufficient level of income in Los Angeles is $70,000 per year
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Photoshop a new Led Zeppelin album
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Spc. Jeremy Sivits pleads guilty in Iraqi prisoner abuse scandal
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| (Some Guy) |
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Admiral in charge of nation's nuclear-attack capability applies to be president of Nebraska University. Promises to neutralize Colorado's football team
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What are we doing in this basket and why are the TV execs holding the handle? The WB's fall lineup to include at least seven reality shows
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| (Hollywood Reporter) |
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Old and busted: T-shirts with logos on them. New hotness: T-shirts with movie trailers on them
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| (Some Guy) |
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Exotic brunette in soft lighting (not safe for work)
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Inviting someone to step outside and settle a drunken dispute doesn't really work when you're cruising at 25,000 feet
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That's not a knife -- THIS is a knife. Australian customs find four-bladed, silver-studded cuff wrapped around the wrist knife (with pic)
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Giant rats trained to detect land mines. Designed to go "BOOM!" when one is found
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| Tue May 18, 2004 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this lonely rock-and-roll farker
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| (courier-journal.com) |
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Hundreds of gas gauges fail simultaneously. Experts can't figure out who to blame
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Come rain, come snow, come hail or sleet, the postman always delivers. Come flying bullets, you'll have to pick up your mail down at the post office
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Randy Johnson pitches a perfect game, wins 2-0
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| (WESH.com) |
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Yellow jackets convert entire mobile home into massive bee hive
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Women are trying to cover their rears with the Ass Sweater
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| (Some Guy) |
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Vote for the next Noxema girl here
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Starbucks creates entertainment division. New president promises bland, overpriced entertainment
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White House consults fundie Christians on Middle East policy
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Greenspan has Bush appoint him for fifth term
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Man wins $1.3m jackpot at casino with his last $0.75
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| (website) |
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Photoshop this sign
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| (Quad-City Times) |
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Source of mysterious blood found spattered throughout house turns out to be homeowner's leg
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| (The Fark U alumni) |
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Challenge: You are the 2004 commencement speaker for the prestigious Fark University (affectionately known as FU). What pithy words of wisdom will you bestow upon the new graduates? Difficulty: Fifty words or less
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Police suspicious after six customers start wrapping the store's products with aluminum foil
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Jimmy Fallon becomes the latest of the actually funny people on SNL to leave
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Rocket launcher found near Atlanta commuter train station
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Good morning students, this is your principal. Here are today's announcements: OOOOHH YEAH, GIVE IT TO ME HARD, BABY
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Mug shots of the Vaseline Man, courtesy of The Smoking Gun
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Israel wants a moat
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Reuters alleges U.S. troops went Abu Ghraib on three of their reporters
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| (CBS5) |
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Deer charged with toll-violation after crossing Golden Gate Bridge, failing to pay $5 toll
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| (Kaleco Auto) |
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Take care of your car with these quality products
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| (MLB) |
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MLB not happy with popular breasts of Jose Lima's wife, crops them out of previous picture
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French government admits allowing Socialists to create 35-hour work week has been disasterous for economy
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How do you make Star Wars 3 not suck as much? Don't let Lucas be a part of it
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For a mere $10 million, this functional Ark of the Covenant can be yours. Nazi scientists extra
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| (84) |
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Happy birthday to da pope
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| (Some Boobie Lover) |
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Want to touch the Fanny Cadeo (not safe for work)
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U.S. Forest Service attempt to remove U.S. flag from mountain peak without anyone noticing not successful
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North Yorkshire probably isn't a good place to hide noisy kidnapped penguins in your garden
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Experts on Wednesday's email-driven, gasoline-buying boycott: "It's hard to think of anything less effective"
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High school student dared to drink liquid from chemistry lab, starts bleeding from mouth and nose
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FBI's newest suspect in the 2001 anthrax attacks, Ayaad Assaad, works for the EPA and has too many A's in his name
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| (MLive.com) |
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In wake of HIV scare, L.A.'s porn stars back in the saddle, fluffed, and ready to ride
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Tony Randall dies at age 84
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Theme: Jackie Chan's next role -- Dorf
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| (Scunthorpe Telegraph) |
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Doctor who ran through airplane telling passengers, "Remember my name, I'll kill all of you," was mentally ill
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| (Daily Record) |
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When attempting to siphon gasoline from a camper, be sure to use the gas tank and not the sewage tank
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ESPN being sued for "flagrant and brazen" theft of minor-league statistics
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| (WFSB) |
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Man builds miniature five-kilowatt hydroelectric plant on his property's river
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| (Nerve) |
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New chocolate gives people orgasms. "When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I get the sensation that I'm coming like a racehorse"
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| (Channel Oklahoma) |
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New "Barbie drug" promises to lower your weight, increase your sex drive, and give you a tan in just one pill. Side effects may include thinking buffalos have wings and an inability to spell the word "platypus"
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Researchers report they still can't find a good reason to not smoke marijuana
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James Dean Gallery opens in Gas City, Indiana. No longer a rebel without a museum
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Break out the welder's mask: Venus to eclipse the sun on Sunday, June 8th
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| (Some Guy) |
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Redesign the packaging for a product you dislike to reflect why you dislike it
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| (phillyburbs.com) |
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Man finds box marked "live venomous reptile. "When you see something like that, you want to look and see what it is"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Best of Walken on SNL this week. Cowbell sales skyrocket
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| Mon May 17, 2004 |
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Japan seeks wisdom from the Jomon period to help revise their antiquated tax system
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| (Counterspin) |
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Ohio factory that Bush visited last year and used as example of how his economic policies were working announces it will shut down and lay off all 1300 employees
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Nation on alert: "We are facing a dire shortage of clowns"
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David Beckham may have played his last game for Real Madrid after calling the ref a "son of a whore"
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All those Mexican UFOs was just the weather acting funny. In other news, you don't need to see his identification
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| (Post-Gazette) |
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Man tries to cash fake $25 million treasury check. Jailarity ensues
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| (NBC5i) |
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Man inhales $275 worth of shrimp while shopping in grocery store. Hilarity ensues
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| (JP Patches) |
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Photoshop this NATO anti-riot demonstration
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"Real soccer fans" storm field, threaten visiting team with guns
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Parents buying "behavior drugs" for their children has risen 49 percent in five years. Good parenting surrenders
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Thieves steal $150,000 worth of Creed's guitars
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| (Rochester NY) |
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Mowing outside the lines now an arrestable offense. Police warn that first graders and their shoddy coloring are next
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When trying to get pregnant, having sex is always a good idea
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Indoor football team decides to use fireworks in enclosed arena. Hilarity ensues
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| (WPBF) |
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Man who lost finger to jaguar identified, banned from zoo for life
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Artillery shell with sarin explodes in Iraq, ignites flame war on Fark
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| (TheStar.com.my) |
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Martina Navratilova still thinks she can lick any woman in tennis
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Tennessee school football team raising money for new equipment by having people guess exactly where a cow will poop on the football field
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| (Search Security.com) |
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"What we found was that all the (Diebold) voting machines used the same secret encryption key code, that the code had never been changed and that all of the developers had access to it"
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| (Monterey Herald) |
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Make sure you bring enough dynamite when fishing in Vietnam
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Woman stabs man repeatedly, then goes out to eat
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Man goes through 14 jars of Vaseline while enjoying pornography in motel room; arrested after cleaning crews find he covered the TV and furniture, too
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British farmer saves around $7,500 a month on electric bills by powering his property with cow crap
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Spitting Image to return to television. Politicians seen quaking with fear everywhere
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| (Some Fark party attendee) |
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Albany Fark Party Pictures from Saturday night
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Family of the mathematician who coined the term "googol" wants a piece of the Google IPO
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| (Billings Gazette) |
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Former congressman Bill Janklow, who killed a motorcyclist while speeding recklessly, released from jail after 100 days
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Neighbors play a "prank" and set free 50 cats woman was keeping in her house
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One in four nods off at work
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Kung-Fu star David Carradine netted his role in Kill Bill by stalking Quentin Tarantino because a psychic told him to
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Elementary school class forgets to lock door during drill, principal goes in and "shoots" all the students to help them better understand the importance of safety procedures
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Study finds women of the 1600s commonly exposed their breasts in public
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| (Some Cheap Guy) |
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Save $5 at Domino's Pizza tonight (5/17) by asking for the Waltrip Special
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Avril Lavigne thinks her bad lyrics are the result of too many carbs in her diet
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Gas-station owners aren't getting rich off gas price hikes
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Third confirmed sighting of voracious alien in Virginia
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Fast-food restaurants ration napkins to cut costs. In related news, White Castle and Taco Bell to begin rationing toilet paper
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Jerry Springer picked by Ohio Democrats to be a delegate. Chairs to be bolted down at convention
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Portland, Maine Fark Party June 4th. Drew's in town that weekend, where should it be held?
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Drunken stripper decides an airplane is as good a place as any to crash
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| (Wait Wait Don't Tell Me) |
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Latest excuse for wasting time on Fark: "I'm researching for my upcoming appearance on public radio"
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| (Rocky Mount Telegram) |
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NASCAR driver who keeps crashing into other drivers is pissed that people think he's doing it deliberately
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Networks to release fall schedules. Get ready for a huge sucking sound
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| (NYDailyNews) |
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$1,000 omelet has no buyers, manager can't egg-splain why
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| (The Bath Chronicle) |
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Runaway cow wanted for questioning in connection with damaged vehicle
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| (Some Revisionist) |
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In "The Da Vinci Code," Dan Brown suggests Leonardo left secret clues in his paintings. Photoshop some other clues in famous paintings. (Link goes to GIS of "famous paintings")
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Another day, another record high price for oil. Your dog wants hydrogen-powered cars
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Red Sox rookies forced to dress like Hooters girls on road trip
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This month's leader of the Iraqi Governing Council killed by a car bomb brought to you by Baghdad
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| (Aftonbladet.se) |
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John Kerry's daughter shows her stuff at Cannes film festival. Site in Swedish, doesn't make much difference (not safe for work)
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Part of the recommended MBA program: Golfing 101
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| (LA Daily News) |
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Cell phones may be banned at LAX. In other news, payphones lines increase drastically
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Golden retriever kills tiny poisonous coral snake, wins National Hero Dog award
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Student develops origami-folding robot
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| (Screech) |
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See how many "Saved By The Bell" trivia questions you can answer
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Would the person who lost 200 anti-aircraft missiles on the highway please contact the town of Nakhodka?
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Drew Curtis goes on vacation, leaving you the keys to Fark. Photoshop what the site would look like upon his return
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College students attempt to break world record for leapfrogging. All naked participants must complete all jumps
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AudioEdit the train of thought of the typical newcomer to Fark. Link goes nowhere helpful
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| (St. Paul police) |
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This week's prostitution arrest photos, courtesy the St. Paul, MN police department
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| (Some Guy) |
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Gambling ship catches fire near Fort Lauderdale. Odds two to one everyone goes down with the ship
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| (Warcry.com) |
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"As big fans of naked women, we knew we wanted to get as much sex and nudity in the game as possible"
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| (The Age) |
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Man wearing plastic monkey mask robs milk bar with steak knife
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Klingons invade France. Demand prune juice, not wine
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Neighborly dispute over who should pay for stray cat's food ends when judge grants joint custody
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| (Car Pages) |
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VW creates 9.5-ton ice sculpture of their new Polo Twist, park it on city street. Confusion ensues (with pic)
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Thirty percent of 25- to 30-year-olds live at home with their parents, can name every Star Trek episode ever produced
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