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| Sun February 22, 2004 |
| (Haiku) |
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Bell once scored from first on an infield bunt. Another time, he stole two bases on a single pitch. Who's your favorite local sports hero?
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Caption what Lance Armstrong is thinking as he is climbing a hill with his team
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Slow news day -- Jessica Simpson vomiting makes headlines
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| (GameMethod) |
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EA may fark up good games, definitely farks up small companies
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College athletic trainer use to jam ice pick into his (unknown to them) wooden leg to motivate players. One day he picked the wrong leg
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If attacked by the candirú fish, do NOT, repeat NOT, cut your penis off
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Exploding beer bottles were the biggest health risk to Chinese consumers last year
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Relations between the U.S. and Saudi Arabia are getting worse
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man shows up to airport late, argues with airline employees, and punches cop while holding his daugther. Jailarity ensures
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"Boys are smelly" t-shirts still causing a stink
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| (Newark Advocate) |
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In Licking County, people will eat whatever they want. So there
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| (TTR2 Babes) |
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Yes, please -- Tera Patrick in black shiny boots and net top (NSFW)
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| (iol.co.za) |
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Amazonian surfer trys to beat current record of 37 minutes riding same wave
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| (ClickOnSA.com) |
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Judge sentences woman to 60 years for scalding, cutting, and burning her two-year old son
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| (NOLA.com) |
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Capsized ship blocks the Mississippi river at the Gulf Of Mexico. Your dog wants a life jacket
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| (Some Guy) |
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Beautiful blond with a net. Fishing anyone? NSFW
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Inmate rips out own eye... tells cops he didn't see nuttin'
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| (Grand Forks Herald) |
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Man shoots himself in the police station after he traveled 60 miles in a cop car
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Texas celebrates "Charro Days." Cootchy Cootchy
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop humorous examples of Hooke's Law of Motion (voting enabled)
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It is not as popular as nickle beer night but nickel-neuter Tuesday is catching on. Your dog would like to drop a dime on your cat
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| (Billings Gazette) |
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Long underwear is now "performance underwear" as you can look sexy in it (with pic)
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Nigeria ruled by mafia underworld Godfather. He'll send you an email you can't refuse
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| (Some Guy) |
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AudioEdit an appropriate judgement for Enron execs
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| (Honolulu Star Bulletin) |
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Dead whale closes beach
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Ozzy got life-saving tonsil hockey from really enthusiastic bodyguard after quad wreck. Twice. Naturally The Sun was there (with pics)
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| (Somebody) |
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Blonde guy with a cute butt (not safe for work)
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| (Savage Love) |
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Every time you take a Fark cliché seriously, Dan Savage is there (third question down, not safe for work)
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| (Idaho Statesman) |
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If elected, John Kerry will appoint a "salmon czar." Your salmon wants kvass
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| (Billings Gazette) |
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Need a friend for your rare animal? Find a cow
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| (desnews.com) |
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Today's 92-year-old woman backing across a busy street and crashing into a playground brought to you by Provo, Utah. Shpadoinkle.
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| (capitalnews9.com) |
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Career prisoner and sometimes entertainer Bobby Brown once again returns to the cell
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Throwing rice at weddings: bad for birds. Throwing grenades at weddings: bad for brides
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| (ABC13.com) |
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Man lets wallet pump gas while he talks to girl. Darwin nearly ensues
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Comedian's web site mocks roadside memorials, victims families made a little cross
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| (Some Guy) |
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Cop tickets dead cows left on side of road. Farmer forgot to put nickel in meter
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| (Herald Sun) |
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Australian mind illusionist suing John Edward claiming that Edward doesn't actually communicate with the dead
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"If it weren't for my cow, I don't think I'd be here today"
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Harrods: "Hey Wall Street Journal. Remember when we pulled that awesome joke on you so you got us back by telling people not to invest in us? Yeah, that was funny. Get rid of it or we're suing."
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Charleston SC Fark Party today 2pm at the Dog and Duck in Mt. Pleasant. Come drink beer and watch sports with us (link goes to map)
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| (Janesville Gazette) |
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Ouch! My eye! I'm not supposed to get bullets in it
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West Virginia courthouse really stinks; not an architectural criticism, but fitting
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Science may have discovered how to avoid sleeping for days at a time so better warfare can be conducted
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More agents sought for Her Majesty's Service
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Ralph Nader emerges from hole in the ground, sees his shadow, announces intent to run for president again. It's official: four more years of President Bush
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Old school: Doggy fo'schnizzle. New school: Blinglish. It's a sad day when ice-T gets made with Earl Grey
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12 skulls discovered in box of merchandise headed for store shelves
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| (Some German Hippie) |
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Student bakes hashbrownies for teachers. Hilarity ensues
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| (Times of India) |
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Monkey terrorizes village, residents fear leaving their homes
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Televised political debate's audio briefly switches to sound from "Sesame Street"
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| (goolge) |
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Now that Disney owns the Muppets, photoshop their new use. (Link goes to GIS for Disney Muppets)
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| Sat February 21, 2004 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop situation's where a superhero's powers would be a liability
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Man charged with assault on Orlando Magic Mascot. Green Monster unavailable for comment
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| (WTAP) |
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Sixth-grade kid suspended for bringing Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue to school. Will now be forced to do home fapping
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| (Ireland On-line) |
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Man, sick of being girlfriend's designated driver, purposly does 85 mph in a 30-mph zone past a cop to lose his license on purpose. Revoked license and jailarity ensue
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| (RexBlog) |
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Regular guy provides details of private 25-minute meeting with Bush
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Politician's website features hardcore porn
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| (Tennessean) |
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Robber answers stolen cell phone, agrees to meet cops and exchange stolen Nintendo for $50
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American goalie Brad Friedel scores goal against Charlton, promptly gives up game-winner
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President Bush's dog dies. Last words were, "Thanks for the steak, George"
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| (Khaleej Times) |
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Well-known brand of chocolate bar has nuts, raisins and a moth in it
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| (reviewjournal.com) |
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Hundreds of keyless lock systems go on the fritz near Area 51. Military spokesman Schultz says "I know nothing"
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| (Tucson Citizen) |
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Discount guacamole from Southwest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods stores is causing a Tijuana two-step
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Drunk off-duty cop sees two guys rummaging through their car looking for change to pay their bar tab; pulls his gun on them. Hilarity ensues
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Big fat opera singer charged with assault and hauled off to jail after goring tiny tenor with her horned hat
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Photoshop Dubya on a hot date with his new CEO honey Carol Bartz (who looks sort of like mom)
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Aging rock group pose as teens to hit charts. Unsuprisingly, it works
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| (Daily Herald) |
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County orders man to stop plowing bicycle path for free
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| (Sunday Telegraph) |
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U.S. forces have Osama bin Laden surrounded
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| (Wait Wait Don't Tell me) |
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NPR has game show based on Fark headlines, everyone here should score high -- click on the "Listen to the show" button
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Drew on TechTV's "Unscrewed" Monday
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| (Bow Chika Bow Bow) |
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AudioEdit theme: Unlikely porn-scene intros
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Man hacked to death at peace conference
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Dog returns from the dead, bypasses steak to suck blood
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| (Bozeman Daily Chronicle) |
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Woman uses a dog wash to wash her pet rooster
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Today's teacher caught fooling around with a middle-schooler brought to you by San Francisco. Special bonus: The teacher's name is Ms. Arreola
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| (Internal Memos) |
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Use the POPCORN button on the microwave
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Great Barrier Reef likely to be dead by the year 2100 due to global warming. In other news, majority of current human population also likely to be dead by the year 2100
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| (Some Guy) |
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What are the Unwritten rules of Fark? (link goes to GIS)
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Man swallows 99 nails to invite death. Nena sings "99 Luftballons" to invite bad '80s dancing
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Polish vodka maker offering customers free English language course with each bottle. Has to be drunk at room temperature because they forgot the recipe for ice
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| (Greensboro News and Record) |
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Man steals police car with crane
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| (Some Guy) |
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Farker can't read the 10 commandments on these tablets very well. Please help farker by making the script clearer. Difficulty: Hell-bent
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Turn your giant, useless Atari 2600 into a giant, useless and portable Atari 2600
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Maggots approved for medical use. There's a cure for cancer, but you won't like it
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Signed Britney Spears thong selling for $1,050 on Ebay. And thus, society crumbles (with pic)
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Photoshop these Chinese policemen on a bicycle
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| (Some Guy) |
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Bush, Hitler and microchips
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775 tarantulas, smuggled into Sweden, are repatriated to Mexico
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| (WTHR) |
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Police get a bolo for "roving cyber thieves", will just beat the shiat out of the next nerd they see
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| Fri February 20, 2004 |
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Student arrested for taking hollowed-out Gameboy filled with gun powder to school
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Man sentenced to clean 100 prison toilets for defecating on floor of home he broke into
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| (Some Guy) |
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Xbox introducing new functionality -- soon to record voicemail
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| (Helena Independent Record) |
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Firing squads may soon be illegal in Utah
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U.S. athlete fails to make Olympic racewalking team but wins gold in the 100m dry dive
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| (York Dispatch) |
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Country music station plays "Pop Goes the Weasel" non-stop for several days. UN war crimes tribunal to investigate
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| (KWWL.com) |
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In effort to boost state revenues, lawmakers propose 25 percent sales tax on dirty magazines, X-rated videos and sex toys
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| (Common Good) |
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2003's five most ridiculous lawsuits involve hot tea, a shared valedictory award, a trucker with no driver's license, a backyard luge and a beatdown by foster kids
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| (Wannabe CEO) |
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How would your favorite or least favorite company be different if you were in charge? Link goes nowhere special
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| (Soo Today) |
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Foot bridge closed due to snow. Man with shovel saves the day
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Atlanta police lied out asses about crime rate to get the Olympics. Now proud to be No. 1 in rape and murder
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| (Kelowna Cap News) |
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Attempted robbery at a bakery foiled when clerk decides to make his own exploding gel pack. Robber's face now adorning a cake in what police call the tastiest composite ever
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Scientists find possible cure for cancer. Still no explanation for why ketchup is so slow
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| (Central Maine) |
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Topless coffee bar might not happen after all
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Student who BSed through China econ conference now feeling heat from university administration. Includes pics from one of his lectures
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| (News 9 San Antonio) |
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San Antonio police helicopter v. Newton's Second Law: Newton wins with video from inside helicopter
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| (Fredericksburg.com) |
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Man charged with yanking off neighbor's prosthetic leg, beating him with it
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| (Symantec) |
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From the "I can't believe it's a real web page" department, it's Symantec's Irish Virus hoax page
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Theme: When teleprompters go bad...
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New book of bizarre ailments include Jumping Frenchmen of Maine, Alice-in-Wonderland syndrome, wandering spleen
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"Hareios Poter" -- the ancient Greek translation to the first Harry Potter book -- to battle Folidomortos this summer
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The tiger wasn't escaping, it just wanted a couple of days off
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| (Democrat & Chronicle) |
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High-speed Great Lakes ferry between U.S. and Canada to fly Bahamas flag
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| (CentralMaine) |
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Truck drivers shocked that telling their boss they use marijuana led to their firing
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| (Gazeta.ru) |
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Russian police discover ecstasy-vending machine in St Petersburg nightclub
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Giant rat explodes, kills power supply of entire Norwegian town
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| (Pittsburgh Trib) |
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Charles Miller arrested for trading sex and contraband with inmates. Two Charles Millers work at prison. Hilarity ensues
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| (wtopnews.com) |
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Public health officials are using email to let people know of exposure to an STD. U gt crch rot luv LA hth dept
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Japan on highest state of terror alert for some reason
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Britain's National Gallery spends $41.7 million on a painting that turns out to be a forgery
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Fake blood tested without consent on unsuspecting patients. Folgers Crystals cited as precedent
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When you want to violate probation, don't let your probation officer know by accidentally pressing the Speed Dial button
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| (BR Advocate) |
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Al Sharpton aims for an "improper" trifecta in Louisiana -- improper forms to get on the ballot, improper ballot fee, and now improper legal challenge to his disqualification
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| (Some Guy) |
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Nothing says "photoshop" quite like "Renaissance Faire King Henry VIII"
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President Bush's campaign media team includes the person who created the talking "chalupa" chihuahua for Taco Bell
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Haiti officials: "Mr President, the people are revolting." Aristide: "You said it, they stink on ice." U.S. ambassador: "Americans get the hell out of Haiti"
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Dairy farmer drinks water containing manure to prove it's safe. Also extols its nutty flavor
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Charleston, SC Fark Party on Sunday Feb 22nd, 2pm at the Dog and Duck in Mt. Pleasant. Drew plans on being there. Come hang out and have a beer with us. Link goes to map
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| (Daily Gamecock) |
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Trogdor elected as hall representative
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Moroccan airliner traveling from New York to Casablanca was diverted to Maine after a passenger on board made a bomb threat
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| (New Zealand Herald) |
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Man in hole manholed; is better now, back in hole
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Scottish endure ultimate humiliation: Losing to Welsh in soccer AND rugby on the same day
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| (Blacktable.com) |
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Funyuns: A guide to The Onion's many, many knock-offs
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| (Making Fiends) |
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Making Fiends No. 7 now available
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Bondage enthusiast practicing at home forced to call police after wrapping himself so well, he was reduced to waddling around like a penguin
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| (Sentinal) |
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The angel on his left shoulder told him not to pull the cocaine bag out of his pocket at the police HQ. Don't listen to him, said the devil on his right shoulder, pull it out
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Why do we get more drunk when mixing different kinds of alcohol?
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| (thestarpress.com) |
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Reminder for Farkers in East Central Indiana to show up for Mardi Gras in downtown Muncie on Saturday. Plenty of beer and boobies for everyone
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| (WorldNetDaily) |
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The name Osama Bin Laden does not appear on the FBI's "no-fly list"
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From their multi-million-dollar homes, Kerry and Edwards call for the poor vote
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| Thu February 19, 2004 |
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A recent survey found 71 percent of over-50s have injured themselves trying to get into a grocery product
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South American piranha has been found in the River Thames
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| (Burlington Free Press) |
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Court rules woman must return her SHTHPNS vanity plate
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Sex offender's number listed in phone book under "Good Samaritans"
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Tub of Christina Aguilera's thong water being auctioned on eBay. Centers for Disease Control thought to be highest bidder
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| (Some Death Kite) |
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Photoshop theme: Ways to make harmless toys dangerous
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| (Some Guy) |
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AudioEdit a presidential campaign speech for a supermodel
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| (RedVsBlue) |
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The Barenaked Ladies showcasing RedvsBlue videos on tour
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Guy shoots his own minivan; blames the Columbus camper. Cops not amused
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| (Janesville Gazette) |
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Five hundred to 700 pounds of dynamite found frozen in a shed. Can't be moved until spring
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Having never seen a horror movie, scientists revive eight-million-year-old life forms
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Liquid salt water brine possibly discovered in Martian soil
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Drug companies rushing to make female Viagra. No more excuses
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Engineering student invited to lecture at economics conference in China by mistake. Attends anyway and BSes his way through
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Iowa State S&M club faces discipline
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Fifty years ago tomorrow, aliens visited Eisenhower
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| (Citizen Times) |
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Professor challenges students to disrobe for an A in the class and -- surprise, surprise -- someone does
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Mislabeled tape causes public-access cable to show porn instead of boxing
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S-st-t-tuttering J-j-john t-to b-b-be L-leno's ne-ne-new anou-ounc-cer
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"The sink came out of the wall and started chasing me around the room"
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| (National Review) |
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President Bush volunteered for Vietnam duty
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Carnegie Mellon unveils robot receptionist who can greet visitors, answer questions, find Sarah Connor
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Scientists discover women are prone to bitchiness when they are on the hunt for a man
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Michael Jackson impersonators are having a hard time finding work these days
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| (Maine Today) |
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Natural foods store decides breastfeeding isn't natural. Hilarity ensues
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When English football fans don't riot, mainstream media is there
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| (California.com) |
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Kindergarteners trade in their fake guns for nonviolent toys
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| (WHNT) |
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Uranium enrichment equipment found at Iranian military base. In other news, President Bush again blames invasion of Iraq on typographical error
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People wanting to get married in September are finding that all Saturdays are already booked except for the 11th
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop a strange source of energy. Difficulty: No farts
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| (Some Guy) |
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Environmental alarmists unite, write your congressman demanding the "total elimination of the chemical dihydrogen monoxide"
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| (Newark Advocate) |
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One in four Licking County sixth graders are boozing it up
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Editor gives away thousands of boobie mags for free to start legal battle (pic in article NSFW)
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Katie Couric grows her hair long to hide something. NBC producers refuse comment on whether Couric's head is one of Dick Cheney's undisclosed locations
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Woman registers her cows to vote. In other news, Eat Mor Chikin Act of 2004 introduced in Parliament
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| (centralmaine.com) |
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Business man plans to boost his chance of success by opening a topless coffee shop
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| (The Moscow Times) |
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Russian politician, who often records his sexual exploits, hopes his latest recording will clear him of charges of threatening to kill his landlord
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Nestle cumin out with curry-flavored KitKats
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Former Enron chief Jeffrey Skilling surrenders to FBI. On WGN, brother Tom forecasts partly guilty skies with a 50-percent chance of prison love
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Olsen twins' bodyguard hassles restaurant owner, gets thrown out
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New Yorker who owns "A-ROD" license plate is a Mets fan. "I can't think of how much he could offer me -- it would have to be more than $20,000"
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Norwegian military caught selling bullets for beer
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Officials in Botswana urging people to use trees instead of trains to kill themselves, as train drivers are tired of having to remove human body parts from their engines
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Charlotte, NC Fark Party tonight 7:00pm to ? at Sir Edmond Halley's at Park Road Shopping Center. Drew plans on being there. Come hang out and have a beer with us. Link goes to Sir Halley's website
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| (Newsfilter.org) |
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Britney Spears finds God, we find Britney's thong (NSFW banners)
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Justin Timberlake discovering his "Boobie" biorhythm flux at an all-time high (wit not safe for work pic)
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| (Nature.com) |
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Sniffing poop speeds diarrhea diagnosis. "Essentially, you've got a fart in a tube"
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Work-related stress leading employees to that most-difficult-to-treat psychological disorder of them all: Death
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Brit wood-floor fad increasing "falling" accidents
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| (courierpress.com) |
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Centre College in KY offering course on "Basketball as Religion"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Japan's "Fortress of Solitude" in Iraq -- plus karaoke
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| (Some Guy) |
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Just for the hell of it, let's have an animated gif contest. Your theme is a phone and whatever you can do with it
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The new Humvee, now with 100 percent less driver
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| (Times Online) |
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Sleepy lawyers and bankers, exhausted after working on the takeover battle for AT&T Wireless, almost cost Cingular an extra $1.6 billion because of clerical slip-up
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Nuclear expert quits panel to expose Yucca Mountain as unsafe; says new Nevada nuclear dump is poorly designed and could leak highly radioactive waste
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Scientists discover that a single brain cell of a rat can move a whisker. Brain cell requirement of fapping still unknown
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The Union of Concerned Scientists says the Bush administration manipulates and suppresses science. The administration points out that the Union of Bought and Paid for Scientists disagrees
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British invention allows sender to flag email with a scent. Idea to fail when people realize what penis enlargement smells like
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Cancer "bouncers" keep drugs out. Designer drugs need cooler clothes
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| (nj.com) |
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New Jersey woman who has been sued by RIAA sues back for racketeering and extortion
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| (Some Guy) |
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Wake hands Duke second loss in a row. Duke sucks twice
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| (lenconnect.com) |
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High school student designs three-foot wide, two-inch thick, 300-watt stereo speaker you can hang on your wall
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| (SportsGoons.com) |
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Red Sox nation raises terror alert to red
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| (Fark Classic) |
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Things never to do as an evil overlord
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If you publicly cheat on one of the hottest women in the world, you may have some regrets after the fact
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| Wed February 18, 2004 |
| (Kang and Kodos) |
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AudioEdit a conversation between world leaders after Earth is invaded by aliens
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Yankees ensure Pennant victory for next year
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Safest places in the world: Fort Knox, Airforce One and some parking lot in central England
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| (Some Guy) |
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Don't store ammo in the oven
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Viking burial ship found. No sign of kittens
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Execution preceded by obscenity-laced tirade
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Butcher slices and dices robbers
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| (NBC 4) |
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Man throws a rope in front of a train -- Darwinism at work
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| (ViewAskew) |
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Kevin Smith to write and direct The Green Hornet
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| (SI.com) |
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Red Sox owner wants salary cap in baseball after screwing up the A-Rod deal
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Observatories find evidence of black hole ripping star apart
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| (The Telegraph - Calcutta) |
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Villagers beat the snot out of magistrate who tried to name their temple for another town
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AOL goes after spammers, decides to bury them under millions of "Free Trial" CDs
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Extraterrestrial visitor in Russian province
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Chuck Yeager's adult children are suing because his new marriage to 45-year-old pushes them out of the will
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| (Some Guy) |
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A wookiee, a rookie and a cookie
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Fort Lauderdale has 23 full-time "parking specialists." Why? To reduce lung cancer
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Coins, necklaces and needles found in dead man's stomach (with photo)
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| (Courier Post) |
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The only thing more dangerous than talking on a cellphone while driving: Lighting your crack pipe
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Two more chunks fall off the Space Station
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U.S. national debt goes over $7,000,000,000,000. Americans, you owe your government $23,976.15
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| (Some Guy) |
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What will your last words be? (e.g., "No, what's a speedball?")
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| (Clarion Ledger) |
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Truck carrying 3000 gallons of hydrogen peroxide overturns, resulting in highway closure, blond highlights
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Fark favorite Alyson Hannigan to guest star on that 70's Show tonight
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Father doesn't want child support to be increased, because child might come down with "affluenza." Hollywood surrenders
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| (Some Beerdrinker) |
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Coke to sell beer-flavored drink in Japan
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If your government is suffering from economic problems, why not spend millions to hold a Rolling Stones concert?
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Pharmaceutical company nearing cure for Mary-Jane-induced munchies
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Astronomers create a telescope 1,000,000 kilotmeters wide
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Dealing with computer viruses and unreliable Windows isn't frustrating enough -- some people are hacking the computer in their car. Now, instead of installing new software, they can spend their time replacing blown engines
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Latest from the fashion industry -- ski-wedding suits (with pic)
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| (E! online) |
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"Angel" gets his wings clipped
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| (Oregon Live) |
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Man who killed friend who served him urine in beer can sentenced to only one year in prison
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The Greatest Generation: WWII veteran used his military training to survive a 27-hour ordeal trapped in a bath
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Hobbit house to be demolished
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Amateur astronomers drop 14-pound, red-swirl bowling ball from airplane to simulate meteorite craters
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The advert said: "Hit the target and I squeal with delight"
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Supreme Court justice Scalia goes on duck-hunting trip with Cheney weeks before he is to sit on case involving him, claims their relationship won't affect his judgement
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No one has been able to catch the Loch Ness monster and Bigfoot because they're from outer space
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| (DW) |
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The unlimited-speed autobahns of Germany may become a thing of the past
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Woman gets plastered on motorcycle. Literally
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Elementary school holds "Fear Factor" assembly, makes students eat worms. TV station gets copy of the videotape
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Scientists inspired by birds and the bees in development of insect-sized surveillance aircraft. Here comes the tin-foil hats...
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| (Some Guy) |
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Farker scores 10 percent against Bush in Republican primary in Oklahoma -- Secret Service prepares to stop insurgent campaign
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Prosecutor in terror case sues John Ashcroft
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Livin' in the 80s: A song quiz
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| (Some Dead President) |
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Theme: Monday was President's Day. Create a poster celebrating a lesser-known president. Link goes to Franklin Pierce
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| (San Diego Union Tribune) |
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Sk8er vs city bus
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Scotland closes 148-year-old brewery
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Trail of parts from an ATM machine lead cops to the people who stole it
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Dean done. Yeeeaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!
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Football teams score 116 goals in contest to move up in league. Foul play suspected
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Todays' burglar stuck in an air vent story brought to you by Cleveland, OH
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Iranian train explosion kills 200 people
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In an effort to make their students life-long virgins, school turns their computer room into the bridge of the Starship Enterprise
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| (Some Guy) |
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Fark graffiti
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| (Some Guy) |
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Isolated for 20 years, family talks in grunts. Jodie Foster still tay inna weeun
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Philly Phark it is: Independence Brew Pub, 28 February @ 6pm. Link goes to a cheesesteak
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| (BBR) |
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The estimated 40 percent of broadband users who don't use a firewall wind up acting as spam relays or bus stations for the latest worms
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| (Some Yodelhead) |
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Palmolive's Madge dies. Wonder if she's soaking in it?
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Drunk Finn hits 10 cars in eight minutes. Would have hit more if someone hadn't built a wall where he wanted to go
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School dental hygiene video includes naked woman
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Arkansas robber given away by his flaming shirt
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| Tue February 17, 2004 |
| (KHOU) |
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Adding five white tigers to the downtown Aquarium restaurant is "undignified." May also lead to injury if any of the tiger's scuba equipment fails
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Botox boy barely beats the psychic in the Wisconsin pre-election
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| (Some Guy) |
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A sheep, a bus and something green
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To protect against terrorism, New Zealand registers house cat as sea-container inspector
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Wireless cam accidentally catches neighbor's kids being forced to hold their hands up in air for more than hour, hit with stick (with pics)
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Theme: Replace the word "heart" with "butt" in any song ("Quit playing games with my butt"). Link goes nowhere
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Philly Phanatic headpiece recovered. San Diego Chicken under arrest
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Cash family says "Ring of Fire" will NOT be used to sell hemmoroid cream
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| (Muppet Central) |
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Disney buys the Muppets
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Cow saves woman from flood
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| (Zwire.com) |
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At least 30 basketball players and spectators leave game with "sunburned" skin due to defective gymnasium lamp
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Syrup slick leaves drivers in a jam
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| (TheBroken) |
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Kevin Mitnick talks about what life is like for a hacker in prison
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| (Cornell Daily Sun) |
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Co-ed Cornell dorm votes to install a dancing pole for those students with a solid background in circus performance. "We're going pole dancing in the quad... no, its cool, bring your green hat"
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| (KOBTV) |
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New Mexico approves mandatory ignition interlocks on all cars
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Chef to death-row inmates now peddling cookook featuring the recipies of the recently executed
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Court upholds "do not call" registry
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| (KYW Newsradio) |
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PA governor finds it necessary to deny that he eats $230 of food every day
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Kids who play with fart toys grow up to be psycho
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Hair salon puts in application for liquor license
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop guide animals for things other than blindness. Link goes to the Canadian National Institute for the Blind. Difficulty: Medium well with a side of mushrooms
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Today's person unknowingly living with a dead relative for a long period of time brought to you by Dublin, Ireland
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Polaroid warns film users not to "shake it"
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| (Fox 5 DC) |
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Free carfax report for today only. 2/17
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| (NY Daily News) |
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Larry Flynt to publish the Bush underage abortion rumor
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Seventeen-year-old boy finds his own picture on a "missing children" website, discovers he was abducted by his mother 14 years ago
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| (Al Jazeera) |
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Singapore airing reality show "Dr Love Superbaby Making Show," in which couples race to be the first to conceive
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Top NY deputy mayor caught by TV news crew using her car lights and sirens to get to work faster
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Three generations ago, Americans learned about sex from Popeye, Wimpy and Olive Oyl threesome comic strips
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Chat rooms: Not the place to ask how to dispose of your murder victim's body
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Utah House members blushing and giggling as they approve special sex tax
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White powder responsible for shutting down Brussels platform turns out to be confectionary sugar from a messy pastry eater
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Salvador Dali once had a herd of goats delivered to his hotel room
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Cricketers take advantage of rain delay by dancing around naked for spectators
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Police get the poop on stolen $10,000 diamond ring
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Dear eBay winner of "Jenny 867-5309" auction: You can't have the number no matter how much you paid. Love, Verizon
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The Sexy Babes of TechTV to Appear on Playboy.com (SFW)
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Realizing he hasn't added a big name in nearly 12 hours, George Steinbrenner now goes after Greg Maddux
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Cingular wins bid for AT&T Wireless. Crappy service to remain unchanged
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Western Kentucky Fark party: Who's up for it?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Pottstown-area Fark party, Saturday 2/21, starting at 8:30 pm
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Husband's lucky hand grenade teaches Texas woman the difference between Vancouver, WA and Vancouver, BC
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| (Cadderpidder) |
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How about a Michigan Fark party in Lansing?
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| (xxxjoel) |
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Denver Valentine's Day Fark Party pics: The S.A. Goons hang with the Farkers and alcohol is consumed. Now with photographic goodness
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop: Milk jugs are not urinals. Photoshop other highway signs about things we're not supposed to do. Link goes to inspiration
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Subject of unsubstantiated Kerry affair rumor substantiates rumors of rumor's lack of substantiation
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British government considering dismantling BBC
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| (some girl) |
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Matador gored in groin by bull
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| (Phuket Gazette) |
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Thai man drinks for three days straight without eating, has stomach pain, decides demons are to blame, operates on self. Darwin Award ensues
|
| (Idaho State Journal) |
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Every president since FDR has had less and less credibility
|
| (si.com) |
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Lord of Darkness closes his iron grip on the NHL
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| (WPBF) |
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Imates stage hunger strike to get, among other things, more food
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| (Some Guyinator) |
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Robots-only road race from L.A. to Vegas set for March. Winners to receive job offers from Skynet
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| Mon February 16, 2004 |
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Make anything sound better by adding cowbell
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Honda to work with General Electric to build jet engines. Hopes to legitimize use of gigantic wings and stickers on their production cars through aeronautic affiliation
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Simpsons movie slated for 2006
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Scientists develop heat-powered personal air conditioner. Body-odor-powered deodorant still in development
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Parents paint peanut butter on their kids
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Theftproof car stolen
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Disney shows Comcast the door, rejects offer
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| (timesstar.com) |
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Woman's aura cripples computers, zaps televisions, fouls up phones
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Theme: Transformers get real jobs
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Mmmm grumblecakes
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Pictures from crane collapse in Toledo
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| (Idaho Statesman) |
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Man's home overflowing with beer memorabilia after 25 years of collecting. Claims, "I´m not much of a drinker" (w/pics)
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Car companies starting to put out their own video games to promote new vehicles. Don't expect to beat up any prostitutes, however
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Experts condemn new craze of "snorting" alcohol
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| (VOA News) |
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So the bird flu's all like, "What's up?" and Thailand and Vietnam are like, "Oh no, you're back," and bird flu's all, "Yeah"
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Japanese television network accused of flashing subliminal image during late-night program. Again
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Federal dietary planners want people to build their own food pyramid. Twinkie, jerky, pizza and beer groups expected to be new standard
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Spirit's going for distance... he's going for speed...
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| (Greenville Online) |
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People who drive slow in the fast lane in South Carolina may soon get ticketed
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Intimate text message sent to wrong phone, nearly causes divorce
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Man who complained about flaw in design of safety helmet is run over and killed due to flaw in design of safety helmet
|
| (Some Guy) |
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M&B pics of Donald Trump's alleged former girlfriend, Victoria Zdrok (not safe for work)
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| (twincities.com) |
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George Washington spent seven percent of his presidential salary on booze
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| (Tri Valley Herald) |
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Protesters sow marijuana around Oakland City Hall
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| (Forbes) |
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CBS tired of complaints, changing format to 24 hours of Matlock
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| (NOLA.com) |
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All the poop on taking a leak in New Orleans during Mardi Gras
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Theme: Your favorite religious figure in a sports activity
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| (Hoosier Gazette) |
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Ugliness, fatness of college's co-eds to blame for Hoosiers' recruiting woes
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| (SPortal) |
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Player has trouble differentiating between a "wedgie" and "finger up the arse"
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| (KRQE) |
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State representative needed for mandatory vote found naked and drunk at motel
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County tries to remove fiberglass pig because it's tacky and makes the area look bad
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"With directions from the Internet and an old Russian truck motor, a Vietnamese farmer fulfilled his dream of making his own helicopter"
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Legendary women who ruined political careers
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| (ITV) |
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Cost of beer to increase by 10p in Britain. Mass hysteria ensues
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City workers rarely fired for doing a bad job
|
| (NY Daily News) |
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Donald Trump in weird feud with Penthouse Pet over whether they dated. "She looks like a third-rate hooker" vs. "His orange hair was very odd"
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Ebayers buying "get out of jail free" cards likely to be disappointed to learn of their ineffectiveness
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| (Everything Isn't) |
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Mike Skallas' ad-blocking project updated. Now with 10 percent fewer penis pumps
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David Bowie regrets the suckiness of his mid-80s music, which he calls his "Phil Collins era"
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NC/SC farkers: Charlotte Fark Party on Thursday, February 19th, from 7:00pm to 9:30pm at Sir Edmond Halley's at Park Rd Shopping Center. Beer, darts and Drew expected. (Link goes to Sir Edmonds website)
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Ultrasound can destroy cancerous cells. Which explains why fetuses never need chemo
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Shotgun expert goes out with a bang -- widow loads cartridges with his ashes
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Movie tech geeks win Oscars for stuff no one understands
|
| (Alaska Daily News) |
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Airlines change fares and rules frequently
|
| (Some Guy) |
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AudioEdit: If monsters existed and worked along side us
|
| (Some Evil Frozen Guy) |
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How about a Fark Party 2004 in the Twin Cities area?
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Photoshop this ugly cow fish
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| (KPIX) |
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Boy shot in buttocks at party. Hilarity ensues
|
| (Alaska Daily News) |
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New device allows the blind to pinpoint their location. Your blind person wants GPS
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| (Haka territory) |
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Teens are not buying cooking wine in NZ. But to be safe, legislators regulate it
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| (Larvasonic) |
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Sonic device kills only mosquito larvae. Inventor only 15. Engineers slap their foreheads
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New insight into Martian winds
|
| (Some Guy) |
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As many Farkers know, there are some things you're not allowed to do in the Army. Here's 213 of them
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These are only a small percentage of links submitted. Join TotalFark to see them all! Link archives »
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