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| Sun January 18, 2004 |
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Tom Cruise proposes to man's girlfriend for him. My friend thinks u r cute
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Six ugly-ass baby tigers born (with pics)
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| (Some Pervert) |
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Aria gives us a good reason to actually play this crappy Breakout clone
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| (Some Guy) |
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University of Kentucky cheerleaders win 2004 College National Championship. Duke sucks
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| (ifoundafrog.com) |
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ifoundafrog. uwantafrog? wouldafrogwantyou? whatwouldmyfrogseeinyourtown?
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Big hair making a comeback
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Someone get France a hobby. They just made a 3.7-meter omelette
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NASA involved in secret government project. For once, it doesn't involve UFOs, either
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Jackson denies abusing children under hypnosis. Bending spoons coming up
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Italian wins lawsuit over coffee price hike
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| (The Hawkeye) |
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You know food presentation has just gotten silly when they start serving "angry lobster" on a bed of nails
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| (NY Daily News) |
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$42m condo in NYC
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| (Some football junkie) |
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Talk about today's football games here
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man develops "plan" to take out tornados with SUV-mounted missiles. Check out the demo
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| (xinhua) |
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China, wanting to get involved in the peace keeping in Afghanistan, sends a cop. One cop
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| (Some Guy) |
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Monty Python movie clips in Lego (about halfway down)
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| (tennessean.com) |
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"Friends" too sexy for Chinese TV
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Photoshop this delicious fried cow-brain sandwich
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Bank machine à la Flintstones
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| (Some Cubicle Drone) |
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Office Space on Comedy Central today. Your boss wants your stapler
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| (theomahachannel.com) |
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Senator files proposal protecting right to hunt Martians, Big Foot and Osama bin Laden
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| (Some Guy) |
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Got Milk? ads may be unconstitutional
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New Erotic Museum opens in Los Angeles. In related news, location for Fark Party LA decided
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| (ModBee) |
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Having been screwed out of America and the buffalo, indians are being much more protective of slot machines
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Polly Want a Crapper?
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| (NewsNet5) |
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Vote for your favorite newsanchor's hat. No, really.
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| (Henry Lim) |
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World's best LEGO sculptures
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Various media silliness of 2003. (With topless photo of Einstein.)
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Buxom British blonde bares breasts on the 'net for MS charity fundraiser
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2 prison guards being held hostage in Arizona
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The viola no longer second fiddle
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Man smashes car into road sign, stabs girlfriend to death, turns around and crashes into oncoming freeway traffic before escaping on foot
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| (Some Guy) |
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AudioEdit a theme song for another AudioEditor
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Producers Guild of America names "Return of the King" best picture of 2003
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| (Some Sibelius User) |
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Tired of crappy MIDI sounds? Try the best orchestral sound set ever. Link goes to demo mp3s
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NFL Conference Championships today
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| (Some Guy) |
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A day in the life at Fark University...
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"There are practically no cases of radioactive watermelons this year."
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| (Some Fat Kid) |
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Alana. not safe for work
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Tired of the Village People clones in Playgirl, two chicks launch a real porn mag for the ladies (pics)
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3 children injured after being thrown from carnival ride
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Japanese politician denies falsely acquired U.S. education. Told that PhD from Hotmail is invalid
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Frankfurt to Atlanta flight makes emergency "security related" stop in Ireland
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| (webmodels.se) |
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The busty blonde Johanna. Not safe for work
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Gout is making a comeback, thanks in part to the Atkins Diet
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| (the Inquirer) |
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Coke online music site plays $ worth £ game
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| (Mobile Register) |
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Bubba may not surrender and could shoot the juke box. Grammar (and Grampar) want in the back seat
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| (Tapei Times) |
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Scientists create weird new double-headed fish. Still no cure for cancer
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Homestar Runner, other characters challenge "Hello Kitty" for cuteness throne
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Get 'em while they're hot: Tokyo to ban sales of used schoolgirl panties, er, schoolgirls' used panties
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If you don't have anything better to do, the First Annual Duct Tape Festival is being held in Avon, Ohio on June 19-20
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Sandpaper-like clumps on Martian planet surface stump scientists
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Asshat doctor won't get to keep the guitar that he forced a dying George Harrison to sign
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| (SI) |
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Sports Illustrated picks the Colts and Panthers to win Sunday
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| (Iowa State University) |
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Theme: If George Washington Carver were alive today, what new nifty uses for peanuts would he invent?
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IT farkers, dust off that resumé - IBM to add 4,500 US job positions this year
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Dark spots in mesospheric photos might be house sized ice balls from small comets that were entering the atmosphere at the astonishing rate of 40,000 a day
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| (ANC.org) |
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Adoptable cyber-pets are a good trial run for the real thing. Your cyber-pet wants a faster processor and more RAM
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Strong explosion near coalition headquarters in Baghdad
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5 million WWII aerial photographs to be released on the internet Monday
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Hamburger drought imminent in Alaska as Canada bans U.S. trucks
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| (ST-v-SW) |
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For the uber-geek; comparisons on Death Star and Endor sizes trying to prove fallacies in the movies
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Fertility specialist claims to have impregnated woman with cloned embryo
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Two planes collide over Florida airport
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| Sat January 17, 2004 |
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Plane crashes into Lake Erie, no word on whether anyone survived
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Model Rachel Hunter forgets to blow out candles when leaving suite, burns down five-star Mexican resort. "Thank God I'm alive"
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| (Trek Today) |
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"Jake 2.0" cancelled
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| (allviews.org) |
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Allviews' gal of the month. Not safe for work
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| (NYPress) |
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The Democratic Party is bent on world domination
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Where some of the Democratic candidates started their working lives
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| (11 Alive) |
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Painting purchased at auction house turns out to be rare 1632 portrait of King Philip the Fourth, by Diego Velazquez
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Photoshop this llama in the style of another Fark photoshopper
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| (CTNS) |
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How the science-religion debate has changed in the last eight years
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Great minds square off in virtual debate over God
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| (WPBF) |
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"Operation Stone Cold" nets 75,000 pill bust. Nursing home black market value estimated to be $100,00
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| (www.thereporter.com) |
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The Atkins adventure
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Singapore: The world's leading executioner. Texas considers outsourcing in 2004
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Fire cadet dismissed after checking out the assistant fire chiefs' wife's pr0n site at work. Walkout ensues (with SFW pic of redhead pr0n star)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Trigger-happy Calif cop + AR-15 assault rifle + mountain lion hysteria = one dead housecat
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| (sciencenews.org) |
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Researchers are studying boogers, now able to make mice produce five times amount of normal snot
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Finally taking the cue from Brandi Chastain's sports bra, FIFA's president suggests that female soccer players wear sexier uniforms (pics)
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Israel's ambassador to Sweden kicked out of museum after trashing art exhibit
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France likely to pass a law banning religious headgear
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Historic action figures
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| (My Own Crazy Mind) |
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Replace a word in a famous political quote with "underpants." Example: "Ask not what your underpants can do for you, ask what you can do for your underpants"
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| (Trek Today) |
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Star Trek movie marathon starts Monday on SpikeTV
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| (Syracuse.com) |
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Smoking waivers granted for Bingo games
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| (Alternet) |
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If you thought the War on Drugs couldn't get any more ridiculous, think again
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| (Times of India) |
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From the Dept. of Bad Ideas: Fashion show features seamless integration of Italian and Indian influences. Possibly not safe for work
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| (A&E) |
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"The Kids In The Hall" first season is being released on DVD. Order yourself a copy and crush a few heads today
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Isabel "Weezie Jefferson" Sanford receives star on Hollywood walk of fame. Your dog wants beans burnt on the grill
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The latest shot of Halle Berry in Catwoman. Safe for work, but barely
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| (aktfotos.ch) |
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Sexy guys in black and white. Not safe for work
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Protestors who jeered Bush laying wreath on Martin Luther King's grave say they're proud they did it and that they'd do it again if given the opportunity. "I think now he knows how we feel"
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"Tom's neck was right in front of me, and I tried to stop swinging my sword..."
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| (Ad Age.com) |
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Super Bowl ad prices jump. Thirty-second spot runs $2.25 million
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If you're underage, drunk and already banished from the property, just let the mascot hug you instead of knocking his head off
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Surprise: U of Maryland glassblower asked to leave campus. Bigger surprise: Bong-making not the reason
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Hey, look y'all. It's Britney Spears...
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If you tell the blind guy you're out of beer, make sure he can't kick your ass
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| (myinky.com) |
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Trouble in the bingo business
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop a hoe, a hankey and a hammer
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| (Denver Post) |
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High school wrestlers, hotel room, pants pulled off, suspensions
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| (listentome.net) |
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Vote for the best and worst sites on the Internet, win some cool stuff
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Of the 1600 species of wild bees native to Australia, about 14 species are stingless. Do you feel lucky, well do ya punk?
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Former employees claim the coroner washed and re-used body bags. Coroner claims that none of the customers ever complained
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| (Charlotte Sun-Herald) |
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82-year-old woman in wheel chair breaks collar bone on Dial-A-Ride bus, hilarity ensues -- no, really, hilarity really does ensue this time
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| (NBC 4) |
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Mom gets pulled over for speeding. Grabs cop's ticket book and drives off
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Snippy flight attendant gives man sharp pokes in the shoulder when he doesn't immediately return his seat to its full upright position
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| (The Omaha Channel) |
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Man tells police he likes to look in random homes and watch the families inside, "just for adventure"
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| (EUpolitix) |
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European officials take pre-emptive action against skateboarding terrorists
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| (Comcast news) |
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GI death toll hits 500 in Iraq
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High school student faces deadly conduct charge for puff from asthma inhaler
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Sensational news: Joan of Arc was not executed. She died at 57
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Scientists are puzzled about a patch of soil near the Mars rover Spirit lander that they now call "Magic Carpet"
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| (Inverness-courier.co.uk) |
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Nessie-hunter explains mystery creature as 30 feet of alkathene pipe from the nearby fish farm, two to three inches in diameter, and a hump-like adapter
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| (Some Spacey Farker) |
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NASA will no longer service the Hubble Telescope
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| (MildlyDisturbed) |
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AudioEdit a better song for Fark's favorite drunk, Henry Earle
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| (Cinescape) |
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Seth McFarlane confirms Family Guy returning. FOX readies cancellation notice
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| (Some Fish) |
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Photoshop a cosmic fish. Link goes to Cosmic Fishing
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Covering your ass 101
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Empire State Building to be lit spinach green all weekend in honor of Popeye the Sailor Man's 75th birthday
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Fourteen-year-old Michelle Wie misses cut by one stroke at PGA tour event. Hootie Johnson surrenders
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| (Some Guy) |
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The cartoon laws of physics
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| (Some Guy) |
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For no particular reason, it's time to talk about Micronauts
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| Fri January 16, 2004 |
| (woai.com) |
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Citrus massacre on Interstate 10
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For future reference, it's a bad idea to toss your bag of marijuana into the plastic tray with your keys when you're going through a courthouse metal detector
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National schoolboy bully competition
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| (NBC) |
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Christina Ricci's lesbian sex scene with Charlize Theron caused them to "not stop giggling for the entire night"
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| (SPCA of Bexar County) |
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Humane Society rescues 47 Italian greyhounds from filthy owners. Available for adoption
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| (rochester d & c) |
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Counterfeit $5 bills found
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| (NBC25.com) |
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Man pulls gun, shoots self in head after being pulled over for a seatbelt violation
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Dart champion owes success to drinking 15 bottles of beer a day
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| (Some newspaper guy) |
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Farker bought an old newspaper vending machine. Needs advice on how to use/mod it
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Gail McKenna (not safe for work)
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Todays tip on how not to thaw frozen pipes your trailer home
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Photoshop this blond fashion designer
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| (Some Guy) |
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Fruity Ale honors Monty Python
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Court sketches of Michael Jackson's arraignment
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McDonald's to open gourmet bistro-style restaurants. Hamburglar to be replaced with Le Petite Fromage Thief
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Women factor in 89 percent of electronic gadget buys
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| (mid-day.com) |
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Think your job sucks? This guy eats frogs and cockroaches for a living
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| (Some Peter) |
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Mila Kunis (Meg Griffin on Family Guy). Heh, heh... alllll right. (SFW)
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Want to score? Put basil in your boots
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Mystery of the world's largest flower solved
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Organizers of Ben Franklin's 298th birthday party promise partygoers static-electricity zaps and absolutely no mimes
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Drunk man mistook neighbor's house for his own. Alarmed when his key didn't fit, so he tried breaking down door. Neighbors, of course, called cops
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| (Ohio.com) |
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Man, shot during burglary, suing police officer who shot him
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| (National Geographic) |
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Designer dogs: Breeders charging thousands of dollars for the Labradoodle, the Yorkipoo and the Schnoodle. Come up with other zany names for mutt breeds. Voting enabled
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| (Salina Journal) |
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Where there's smoke, there's FARK. (Fark mentioned about midway down)
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New survey by Reader's Digest Music finds men would rather be lured into bed with... gift certificates. WTF???
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Two roommates picked up for DUIs within five minutes of each other, could be cellmates (last article)
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Thai police provide maximum security for underwater wedding, afraid Nemo might be found and mistaken for appetizer
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Bengals mathematically eliminated from NFL Playoffs until 2017
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Competition-winning comedian admits he comes up with his jokes while he's peeing. Must be related to his shortcomings
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Malaysian police crack hamster theft ring
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Ohio zoo names newborn chimp Gander, in honour of really ugly ex-girlfriend from Michigan
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Michael Jackson's face to be arraigned today... Check that, Michael Jackson faces arraignment today
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Russians are entitled to know what they eat
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Michael Jackson shows up 21 minutes late, pleads not guilty
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| (Warren Tribune Chronicle) |
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Dog bites man? That's not news. Man bites hairstylist? Now that's news
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop scenes from "Cartoon characters, caught on tape"
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Drawn by half-price Hepatitipeño Poppers, locals swarm to reopened Chi-Chi's
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Junk food from the 90's: "Pop Qwiz," the radioactively colored microwave popcorn
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| (dr dubya) |
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Bush asking for $_________ billion for _________
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Long John Silver's promises if NASA discovers evidence of ocean water on Mars (likely), it will provide one free giant shrimp (half a foot long) to each American
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Try the takeout special: Man sells more than a ton of pot through restaurant
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U.S. Airways pilot, who "wasn't familiar with the area," lands at wrong airport
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| (Mozilla) |
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Mozilla 1.6 out. Your dog wants pop-up blocking, tabbed browsing, standards compliance, lizard
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| (myTelus) |
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AudioEdit a conversation from a fastfood drive-thru that gets interrupted by an anonymous radio user
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Kentucky fan banned from U of K sports for 27 years for illegally contacting recruits
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| (E!) |
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One multiplex in Dallas is setting aside ALL 20 SCREENS to show Mel Gibson's The Passion of Christ
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Indian cops get paid more if they grow a mustache. Photoshop your favorite cops with extra facial hair
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| (thesentinel.co.uk) |
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The ancient town of Sandbach has been described as a paranormal hotspot
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| (BordelloBattles) |
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Everybody's favorite Pimpin game begins a new round. Wannabe gangsta white boys rejoice
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| (Some Mustache) |
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Black Mustache (lyrics NSFW)
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| (Some Luke) |
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Guy modifies his Honda Civic into X-Wing... er, "H-Wing." Ladies, this is not the geek you are looking for
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Seven-foot boa vs. porcupine. Round one is over
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Prius parks itself
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| (OCC) |
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CinemaNow debuts download-to-own movies
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| (Monster.com) |
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Join the official Usual Gang of Idiots -- MAD Magazine looking for a senior editor
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Man arrested for DUI demands to know why police seized his rare $1000 dollar bill
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| Thu January 15, 2004 |
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Man drives pickup through home before crashing into pool. Driver "may" have been intoxicated -- his passenger was topless (with photos)
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| (GovExc) |
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Missile defense system will be deployed in October even though it is not ready
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Bush wants $3.6 billion for religious groups. Thomas Jefferson surrenders
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Pit bull and doberman pinscher get into fight, owner tries to break it up and they attack him (with bloody owner pic)
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Kiwis make more trash per capita than Americans. America still responsible for trashing world culture
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| (Universe Today) |
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Scientists plan to launch "mouse spaceship" on a five-week mission in space to study Martian gravity effects. Mice threaten to strike if they don't get a window
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| (stjoenews-press.com) |
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He'll bury ya', baptize ya', marry ya' and witch your water
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Dumb: Getting busted with two grams of pot. Dumber: Getting busted with two grams of pot while carrying 54 condoms filled with cocaine in your bowels. Dumbest: Not flushing them
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Create a new brand of cereal. Link goes to some kind of example
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Car chase from 1968's Bullitt voted best film pursuit of all time. Is there a better one? Voting enabled
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Ain't nothing gonna stop me from eating my fried cow-brain sandwich
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Local Boston newscaster has been secretly broadcasting from Florida for past two years
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Streakers in restaurant watch as their car is stolen
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| (ExpressIndia.com) |
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Clinton gives up junk food and beer. Is "working out with a German man" and following South Beach diet. In other news, rednecks shed a tear in their Budweisers
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| (Pioneer Press) |
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"Surfer's voice" when you surf the web and talk on the phone at the same time?
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History of U.S. space program
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| (Some New Englander) |
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Mars is warmer than New England
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Intel introduces coffee nanoprocessors
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| (Some Guy) |
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Royal Mail offers digital stamps -- 32 Brits suffer shocks to tongue from licking their monitors
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| (Some Guy) |
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It's been awhile since we last did this. What's the story behind your login name? With voting
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In 2003, Tiger Woods made an estimated $83.7 million. That's the most any professional athlete has ever made in a single year
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Researchers discover that calmer cattle yield better steaks
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Darwin hopefuls race Big Wheels down steep mountainsides
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| (Lansing State Journal) |
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OnStar can't understand man's twang, representative teaches him to say "q" and "skate," instead of "two" and "eight"
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Britney believes in "sanctity of marriage." Sanity surrenders
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The starfish are coming. The starfish are coming
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| (Cockeyed.com) |
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The indomitable Rob Cockerham of the Cockeyed.com Science Club presents: Tattoo removal
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Indian Tiger census begins. One... two... oh dear...
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| (Daily Progress) |
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Darth Vader, the Dark Lord of the Sith, wants you to join the University of Virginia's new marching band
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Arr, matey! Ghost ship found drifting off Australia's northwest coast more than a year ago is to be sunk as an artificial reef. Fate of its crew remains unsolved
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"Mt. Shasta, California... is reportedly home to as many as 500 Bigfoot creatures." Mt. White Rock Cola unavailable for comment
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| (News Leader) |
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Meat industry: Steaks are safe, but beware the evil Slim Jims and Ball Park Franks
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| (Robin Hood) |
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Nottingham Fark pictures
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KFC to wing its way to Tibet. Your Dalai Lama wants chicken
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Red wine to be available in pill form. Dean Martin surrenders
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NBC to schedule "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" marathon against Super Bowl. Anxiety over which tight ends to watch expected (near end of story)
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P. Diddy and J. Lo bodyguards grab couple's digital camera -- memory stick taken, which included "some very personal" pics from their five-day honeymoon
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Expectant Chinese women trying to delay their births because monkey can totally kick goat's ass
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| (Some Texan) |
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Create new stick-figure warning labels to save the world's morons from themselves. Link goes to gallery full of real-life examples
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| (NASA) |
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One small step for robots, one linear meter for robotkind
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Local residents not too happy with snow sculptures of who-who-dillies and cha-chas
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Dennis Miller to host talk show on CNBC
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The Biblical forecast
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The goat with "human features" was euthanized because it had no nostrils
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Court order bans 14-year-old boy from using the word "grass"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Adventures with an ice pick: A short history of lobotomy
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Footballers can't score -- bring on the witches
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Drink beer, save some sea turtles. I saw a beer
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| (journalstar.com) |
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Nebraska hilarity: Language protecting the hunting of Martians and Bigfoot, and trapping the Man in the Moon, was recently proposed in "right to hunt" legislation
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Microsoft exec who took company from "Flight Simulator" to "Halo" departs
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| (saljournal.com) |
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Breaking news: Chimney fire reported somewhere in rural Kansas. Smoke was spotted coming out of chimney. No damage to report, as the fire was pretty much contained itself to the chimney
|
| (Some Guy) |
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If only he could spell: Bank robber busted for bad English
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| (ABC7) |
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Man woven into a blanket. Workers claim company fabricated job saftey
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| (Westchester Journal News) |
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Workers threatening to go on strike at nuclear reactor will be replaced by scabs. What could go wrong?
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| (Some crazy mo'fugger) |
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Fark party in Calgary, Jan. 23. It's on, just need a rough final count of people, hopefully 35+ (link goes to GIS for "waydowntown")
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Former senator Bob Dole believes U.S.should have universal heath care
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U.S. government to overhaul employee drug testing, which could lead to more businesses revising their screening process
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| (Some Guy) |
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AudioEdit two cops seriously arguing which is better: Glazed or jelly
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| (Some Toasted Guy) |
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Test your toaster knowledge
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| (www.wdrake.com) |
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World's weirdest/coolest kitchen gadget
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop theme: Create a piece of propaganda for a group you don't like. Link is a GIS for "propaganda"
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Sims Online world is going to hell: Mafia, prostitution, sadomasochistic subcultures
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| (Some Guy) |
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A girl and her sandwich. Not safe for work
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Grab a Fark shirt -- impress your friends and neighbors
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| (Some Cult Movie Fan) |
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A genius cult-movie review site. You've gotta love anybody that gives Bruce Campell a Cult Lifetime Achievement Award
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Actor Rip Torn arrested for drunk driving after crashing his car into a taxicab
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Lion mummy found in Egyptian tomb
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Customers serve bank robber a knuckle sandwich
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| (The Force) |
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Star Wars Episodes 7, 8 and 9 to become reality, possibly
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| Wed January 14, 2004 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Alyson Hannigan: 34 pics (NSFW banners)
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| (Wichita Eagle) |
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NAACP says that it's unfair to expel students who strike teachers
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| (Howstuffworks.com) |
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Can we give Mars an "Earth" makeover? Here comes the science
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| (KCNC4) |
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Colorado lawmakers want to stop people from suing fast-food and beer companies
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| (Some Peoria Farker) |
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Peoria, IL FARK Party 2/7. Details, RSVP
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62.7 percent of all email sent in December is spam
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Two men arrested after naked high school cheerleader falls from their ninth-floor hotel balcony
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| (Juneau Empire) |
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Photoshop these guys who look to be down for the count
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Company invents gadget that allows you to personalize your dreams. Britney Spears and whipped cream, here I come
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After four successful heists, bored bank robber turns himself in to police because they haven't been able to catch him
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Gaming being accepted as a paying sport all over the world
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Women getting turned on by device that attaches to their ankles. French ticklers surrender
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There's a recurring monkey-invasion problem at the Indian embassy in Nepal
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BYU alters photos of student athletes to remove immodest tattoos and bellybuttons, and they wonder why the rest of the world things they're strange
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Man jailed 15 months for inducing violence by publishing book on how to beat women without leaving any marks
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A "made for TV" trial: Robert Blake's jury of his peers may include actress Christina Applegate and actor Harry Shearer
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U.S. soldiers commiting suicide in Iraq at a very high rate
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American Airlines pilot gives "internationally known obscene gesture" to Brazilian immigration officials in protest of new policies. Jailarity ensues
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Sports talk! New coaches, DUIs, scores, breastbeating, trades, etc., etc.
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| (Some Gamer) |
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Penny Arcade gets apology. Snowball fight in hell this evening
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ESPN's Top 10 NFL playoff games of all time. Discuss amongst yourselves
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Jessica Simpson endorsing new "lickable" perfume
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New liberal radio station signs Al Franken to host in same time slot as Rush Limbaugh. Franken says he'll call Limbaugh for advice
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Aliens among us?
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You slept on my battleship
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Typo results In 10,000 acre Wyoming skate park
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Bush asking for billions to go to the moon
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Bush to spend $1.5 BILLION on a "healthy marriage" initiative. Bachelorhood surrenders
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Russian scientists create Baltic atlas of the sink ships
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| (Daily Times) |
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King of Swaziland wants to redecorate three palaces and build eight more for his 11 wives, while 80 percent of his people are homeless peasants
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| (WoTC) |
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What's your alignment?
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| (Rotten) |
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Today marks the beginning of The Simpsons' 14th year on TV... You don't make friends with salad. You don't make friends with salad
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| (Gamespy) |
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Top 10 video game sidekicks
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Nine most famous computer hacks
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Photoshop Oprah holding her People's Choice award
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Teacher punches student in face after he repeatedly unplugs overhead projector
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| (The Darkness) |
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Put on your spandex and practice your devil's horns -- The Darkness is invading, bringing the Eighties with them
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Chinese girls put monkeys on their butts for a lucky new year
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Truck spills 40,000 pounds of ketchup, tomato juice and spaghetti sauce all over the eastbound lanes of freeway
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Death row inmate taunts victim's family online. "It's the First Amendment," officials say
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| (Some Guy) |
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Unofficial Fark straw poll: Democratic Party candidates
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Letter unearthed in which Dean urged Clinton to bypass NATO and UN and take unilateral military action in Bosnia
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| (Some Guy) |
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Read my boobs (not safe for work)
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| (Some Guy) |
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"The bodypop is very sexy, in fact that's how I met J-Lo." Ben Affleck's guide to breakdancing
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| (Omaha World-Herald) |
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Police officers in Plattsmouth, Neb. get new tasers, test them on each other. With pic of cop getting tasered
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| (King County Journal) |
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Car dealer lets 14-year-old kid test drive a Cadillac. Kid steals it
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Take a wicked weather quiz
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| (WIXT) |
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Salty cars get a lickin'
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Lottery loser's lawyer gets yelled at by judge
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GM to offer smaller Hummer in 2005
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Crazy Canuck robber uses ax and bear repellent to rob store. Jailarity ensues, eh
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| (Some Man) |
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I'll take the one in the first picture. Whoa. Obviously not safe for work
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| (Rolling Stone) |
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Duran Duran heads list of artists on "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" soundtrack
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San Francisco Chronicle arms Sean Penn with press credential for his return trip to Iraq
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Andre Agassi stunned to hear that John McEnroe used steroids during his professional tennis career
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| (Some Guy) |
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Third nipple piercings (not safe for work)
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To a young generation of Americans, Jon Stewart may as well be Walter Cronkite
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| (WTOP News) |
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County schools to give grades based solely on academic achievement
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Ghost net as long as six football fields is trapping marine life in Florida
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U.S. military finally catching on to what Quake players have known for years
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Photoshop this picture of the Archbishop of Boston
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| (Newsfilter.org) |
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Tinkerbell from the most recent Peter Pan movie apparently got very naked in her last film (not safe for work)
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Wabbit poachers caught in high-tech wabbit car armed with spike stwips, metal pwates, bicycle twaps
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| (KARE11.com) |
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Man sues church for refusing to give back $126,000 donation he gave during time of emotional distress
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| (Some Guy) |
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AudioEdit the very last thing you would like to hear outside your tent while camping (link goes to examples)
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| (CoachBox.com) |
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How to compute the NFL's quarterback passer rating
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Kodak to stop manufacturing and selling film cameras. Edison erupts from grave, spinning into low-earth orbit
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Take the Tech TV quiz and see if youre a nerd
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| (CBSMarketwatch) |
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Doctors and dishwashers among the 10 most underpaid jobs in the U.S. Your doc wants steak
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Nottingham Fark Party -- TONIGHT, 8pm
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| (Some Guy) |
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Sidewalk chalk-drawings
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| (Some Guy) |
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Police respond to fight at high school basketball game, greeted by 400 spectators
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| (Star News) |
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Man awake on meth for a week eludes police. Rumplestiltskin wanted for questioning
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| (Some Psychic) |
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Are you the most psychic person in the world? Compete in the Paranormal Olympics
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Actor Spalding Gray missing in New York.
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| (NapkinNights) |
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Top 100 Sacramento party pictures, 2003 (more boobs than that chick from Total Recall)
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Ted Nugent injured in chainsaw accident
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Restaurant settles "Jimmy-Hat soup" lawsuit
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| (SunSpot.net) |
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Tanker truck flies off overpass, lands on I-95... onto two other tanker trucks. "Short" backup ensues
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Photoshop this Sumo wrestler and his blushing bride
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| Tue January 13, 2004 |
| (foxnews.com) |
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Gatorade Frost turns out to be Gatorade anti-freeze
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| (journaltimes.com) |
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Man squirts brother's pants with lighter fluid, sets them ablaze
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Floridian notices number three in cat's fur. The same three that appeared on the side of a goat. Which is significant because it was the number of that famous wrestler or something
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Paris Hilton, the "vapid Venus of Beverly Hills," tops worst-dressed list
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Kenyan, 84, enrolls in primary school. Wants to be a vet when he grows up
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Papers, please: Supreme Court okays roadblocks for police information
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| (A Dictionary) |
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The won hunded most mispelled english words
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| (PCWorld) |
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Google adds more tools to their search engine. Next plans: Develop mental-control toolbar
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Geek fashion alert: Solar-powered gadget jacket
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The blueberry is New Jersey's official state fruit. Violet Beauregard surrenders. Richard Simmons, Maine demand recall
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Near death accident when F-16 meets car
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Protesters are holding police hostage for cigarettes
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In-house audit by Wal-Mart finds labor violations, low low prices
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| (Some Guy) |
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Burger King to offer bunless burgers. Mmmmmmm... buns...
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| (Daily News) |
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New York's first day of zero-tolerance on school violence met with 17 arrests, five separate incidents and four hospitalizations
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Burglar fakes death. Police fake amusement. Jailarity ensues
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Italian court finds that PM can be charged while in office. Berlusconi responds by readying forces on the banks of the Rubicon
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ACLU comes to Limbaugh's defense. "Ironic" doesn't even begin to cover this one
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"Mom swapping" all the rage in France
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38,000-year-old Columbian mammoth discovered in Texas with collectable DNA. Jeff Goldbloom unavailable for comment
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Two asshat high school students arrested while planning a recreation of the Columbine High School massacre on its five-year anniversary
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Llonely llama llost in Llanark
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It's chickenshopping time
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Casting begins on Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie
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Giant shields to the rescue. Brooke Shields to soundstage six
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Antidepressant Celexa reduces "compulsive shopping disorder." Thousands rush out to buy Celexa
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Fancy a coffee-flavoured steak?
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Supreme Court officially in Bush's pocket
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Local new anchor wins wet t-shirt contest, gets fired. Film at 11:00
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| (Geek.com) |
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RIAA employs own paramilitary police force
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| (WBAP) |
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Two men try to rob old man. Old man changes their minds. Fatalities ensue
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Swiss trade in puppy and kitten meat continues. Your dog wants basting
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Cyprus army officials embarrased after finding secret documents in a rubish heap. This message with self-destruct in five seconds
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Scientists discover that Venus is hot, inquire about possible sister
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Armed, angry firearm trainer pulls alongside armed, angry road-raging motorist. Gunfight at the Dumbass Corral ensues
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Police offered money to grow moustaches
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Company poised to make millions off diet Slurpees. Sweet
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Bad phone service? Supreme Court says you can't sue the phone companies. Verizon to stop caring if you can hear them now
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Apache shot down by enemy fire
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Report says British medicine doesn't know its ass from a hole in the ground. Officials claim it's a bum rap
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| (cutelatino.co.uk) |
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Hot guy undresses. Not safe for work
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Kids sickened at a 4-H dance. Police suspect that someone doped the soda, but parents believe it was that damn rap music
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| (TribLive) |
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Ninety-year-old driver crashes into nursing home while looking for farmer's market
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Asshats try to rip off Frank Zappa. That does not sit well with Frank's widow
|
| (kptm.com) |
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New Nebraska Cornhuskers head coach Bill Callahan starts job by firing all but two assistant coaches
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Israel sells high-tech weapons to Turkey. The price? Water
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View 125 years of headlines and pictures from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch
|
| (Daily Ledger) |
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Man killed by a-sploding deer
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Photoshop video games made from movies which should never have been made into video games (link goes to GIS for "lint trap")
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Holland, normally a liberal bastion, declares war on white socks
|
| (Some Guy) |
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TV sports goes retro
|
| (Some Guy) |
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AudioEdit the dialogue that probably was said at Britney's wedding
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Not one. Not two. No, it took 25 policemen to establish that crime was in progress at the Titty Twister strip club
|
| (tennessean.com) |
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Researcher cuts the cheese with a laser, clears the room first
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USDA bans tripas, a savory dish enjoyed across South Texas, but you may know them better as Chitlins -- or as cow's small intestines
|
| (KBTX.com) |
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ATM gives out double amount requested. Hilarity ensues
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