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These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
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| Sun November 16, 2003 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Vote for the cover of a swimsuit edition
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| (Modern Drunkard Index) |
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Now you can be arrested for being drunk IN A BAR. Article includes diatribe against MADD
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| (CFL.ca) |
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Edmonton wins Grey Cup. In other news, Americans shocked to discover Canada has own football league
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Streams of sparks, crackling explosions fill the sky as fireworks factory explodes
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Bush's bodyguards will not have immunity in England
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Casting call for Heidi Fleiss movie "Going Down." "Glamorous, model-types" with upright humps wanted
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Nose sold
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| (Lycos News) |
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Stepmother houses stepson in chicken coop for 10 years. Boy is okay, but acts cocky
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Two high school girls make out in protest of homophobia. Suspension ensues, also mass kitten extinction
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Bengals defeat Chiefs as promised
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| (Some Vigorous Fapper) |
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The finest natural boobies
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World's greatest sporting feuds. Fark v. Duke not listed
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Photoshop new Absolut ads
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Man tries to reenter club through air vent, gets stuck and parties for six hours while waiting to be rescued
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In a gesture of stupidity, U.S. marine arrested in Japan for jumping up and down on hood of taxi. Actually employs Bart Simpson defense
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Bicyclist on trial for DUI-manslaughter
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| (Some Guy) |
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Nell McAndrew, 36 pics. (Not safe for work)
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Liv Tyler told to lose some weight. "We want her to have the body of a 12-year-old boy, just like the other female stars" says movie exec. (Scroll halfway through)
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Science poses the question we've all been wanting to hear: "How would you like to walk around on the verge of orgasm every second?"
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James Brown to get statue in his hometown. Overcome with emotion, the singer said, "Dunni mez moozie dee bah. Hai!"
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Politicians want to make speed cameras more obvious to motorists. Obviously these politicians aren't up for re-election
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Guy who went over Niagara Falls sans barrel joins Texas circus. "He'll have to wash elephants like everybody else," promoter says
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Wine industry, obviously a bit drunk, encourages drinking and driving
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Decomposed body found in womens' house. Claims it was just art
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| (News-Journal) |
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Do you have a good appearance -- shiny hair and upright humps? If so, you may qualify for entry into this beauty contest
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| (TwinCities.com) |
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There are four great surfing spots in this world -- California, Hawaii, Vietnam and Sheboygan, Wisconsin. This is the story of one of them
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| (Some Guy) |
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Suggestive series of images created entirely from mathematical algorithms (not safe for work)
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Widows allowed to harvest sperm of dead husbands even if the men did not give consent while alive
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Mexico's ambassador criticized for saying U.S. treats Mexico like a "backyard"
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Traditional Indian music is heading to the club scene
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Europeans may need to emulate hard-working Americans if they want to retire
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| (The Sunday Post) |
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World's ugliest salmon caught in Scotland. "It probably swam here from fookin' Ireland" says marine biologist (pic)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop what he is signing up for
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| (Dan D) |
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Yet another kewl kar that will never be manufactured. Ford surrenders
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Authorities can't figure out why two men decided to lay on railroad tracks when crossing bell sounded. "We don't know what the hell they were doing," official says
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Bon Jovi makes NJ wish it never existed again; admits "I don't know if anyone's gonna buy this"
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| (The Omaha Channel) |
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Granny gets called up from reserves to active duty in Iraq to drive trucks. Iraqi farmers' markets put on heightened security
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| (Some Guy) |
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AudioEdit TV characters at your house on Christmas day. Link goes to examples, feel free to use your own
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Average starting salaries out of college based on degree. Why did I major in psych?
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John Travolta parks jets at front door. Frank Stallone surrenders
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| (Baltimore Sun) |
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Americans work their asses off -- "40-hour week" is a fantasy
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In effort to spur book sales, libraries told to stop lending
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Attention Florida panhandle residents: Batten down the hatches, bring the dog in, tie your mother down -- U.S. military to test second MOAB on Tuesday
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Completing the "look up in the sky" trifecta: On Nov 17th, the second-most-famous comet which you have probably never heard of will pass closest to earth in 60 years. Here comes the science...
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| Sat November 15, 2003 |
| (TwinCities.com) |
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Theme: Photoshop alternatives to Jesse Ventura's official gubernatorial portrait. Link goes to original
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Taxi driver glued to steering wheel in stick-up. Driver obviously not a big fan of De Niro
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| (80s) |
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Dee Snider's House of Hair
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| (EdinburghNews) |
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Students at Edinburgh University agree: Duke sucks
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Natalie Portman dressed in black transparent cheesecloth (probably not safe for work)
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| (Some Homer) |
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The skittlebrau project. Homer Simpson surrenders
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| (time.com) |
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Time's top ten video games of 2003
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| (Las Vegas Business Press) |
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Comdex in Las Vegas is approaching. Nerds, geeks and wonks everywhere to attend and view the newest technology. Oh, and the porn stars
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| (Some Guy) |
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Want to keep your accounting department quiet? Put a couple of invoices for grenades on their desk
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| (FoxReno) |
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California's parole system is a $1 billion failure
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Victoria's Secret fashion show in photos (sfw, unless you work in a church or around children)
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Halle Berry looks delicious as she is refused entrance to her own premiere
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man wins mayoral election by rolling dice. Last seen heading for Vegas
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| (WCJB) |
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"Spy games" class teaches about weapons and automobile-driving tactics with a hands-on approach -- just for fun, mind you
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Old gamers say young gamers are spoiled
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British McDonald's ad taunts Americans but fails to mention McKeenigits
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Hollywood spoof of Harry Potter to feature sorcerer's balls, bobbits and the land of Middlefinger
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| (The Wall Direct) |
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Action figures from Pink Floyd's The Wall
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Napa snipers target kittens
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Coca Cola to add timing devices to vending machines so schools can control when sodas are sold
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Introducing Homo Technicus, the human of the future
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Mmmmm, camel cheese
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Three hundred schoolgirls cut their hair short for sham scholarships. Now some perv has 300 photos of short-haired schoolgirls. Next stop, Internet
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Soda maker planning on making "Turkey and Gravy" soda. Plans to follow up with other flavors "Stuffing" and Pumpkin Pie in time for Thanksgiving
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Japanese engineers to repair Martian probe. Likely improvements include power to link with other probes and form giant Robot
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| (Rockford Register Star) |
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Brit Buffy geeks provoke gaolarity
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Two teens charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon - a pumpkin
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U.S. has secret plans to attack Luxembourg during Operation Mousetrap
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| (Some Guy) |
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Never one to sweat the small stuff, Robert Downey, Jr. is engaged, despite still being married
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U.S. administrators will hand over sovereignty to a new transitional Iraq government by June due to rising US body count
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| (Boortz.com) |
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Photoshop national radio talk-show host Neal Boortz doing a little research for his show
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New virus disguising itself as PayPal email.
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Two blackhawk copters collide in mid-air
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Two Czech men arrested for trying to sell 7 pounds of radioactive material
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Hepatitis A outbreak in Pennsylvania kills 3, sickens 500
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| (Deseret News) |
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Mormon versus Catholic holy war set for 2:30 pm kickoff. Touchdown Jesus sez hit 'em so hard they'll all see 3 wives
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Queen Mary 2 gangway collapses, at least 11 dead
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Suicide car bombers hit 2 Istanbul synagogues. At least 23 killed, 80 injured
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If you were to make a trivia game about Fark, what questions would you have? Newbie, old school, ask the trivia here
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Photoshop this infographic that doesn't really explain "bluejacking"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for the Farkistan National Anthem
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Sweet news about hot cocoa: the popular winter beverage contains more antioxidants per cup than a similar serving of red wine or tea
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Bush administration using obscure 19th century law to charge Greenpeace with criminal conspiracy. Millions beg Bush to go after The Truth next
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Routine traffic stop results in two arrests, two dead bodies, and a whole lotta paperwork
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Photoshop "Bong" Revilla Jr., a Philippine government official, crushing pirated CDs and DVDs
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| (Some Sucker) |
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City of San Diego owes Chargers for sold-out game. Crappy football is county's newest growth industry
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| (Austin TFer) |
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Austin Farker party tonight. Suggest a drink/shot for Farkers to toast to (link to drink recipes, voting enabled)
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| Fri November 14, 2003 |
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Nerds rejoice - Farscape is coming back
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Campus police finally remove corpse that had been hanging for almost a year because students mistook it for art
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This just in: Alaska is part of Canada.. or is Canada part of Alaska?
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Why are we attracted not only to the biggest version of almost anything but also to the smallest, the weirdest, the first, the last, or the only?
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Factory owner plunges to his death while trying to raise 'lucky flag' he got from fortune teller to ward off bad luck
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New study released compares ugly, fatass monkeys to overweight, menopausal women. Here comes the science
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More law enforcement fun in Arizona. Police standoff with 18 year old nut job with an AK47.
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| (Montgomery Advertiser) |
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Exxon hit with $11 billion judgment for defrauding people in Alabama. To be paid in mobile home vouchers and dentist visits
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Businesses to pay $16.9 million to remove toxic waste from New Jersey; that explains the Jets moving to New York City
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| (people news) |
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University professor scientifically proves Kylie has the perfect female butt
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Appeals court decides man with five homemade machine guns didn't break interstate commerce law
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Pelican taps Warren Beatty's phone. FBI called about dead fish found on car. Steven Seagal denies involvement
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| (NBC5) |
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Woman goes to zoo, hops barrier, tries to pet wolf. Hilarity ensues
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| (NPR.org) |
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80's fashion is making a comeback. Good taste surrenders
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| (www.click10.com) |
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Man bends over to pick up golf ball, feels scratch, sees blood and seven-foot snake, wakes up in the hospital three days later
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New Broadway musical about Boy George's life turns out not to be all that good
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Paris Hilton: The Lawsuit
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Jimmy Kimmel to host American Music Awards. Adam Corolla hired to park cars
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61.1% of the new costly Medicare bill is purely profit to drug companies
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Seventy-two people busted for prostitution in Arizona, including a 60-year-old woman
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Stranded sheep to return to Australia. Asked how they feel after months at sea, they responded "Baaaaad"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Farker Gratwytninja's roommate arrested for drugs. Photoshop a card to send to him in the clink. Link goes to photo of courthouse where his trial will take place
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| (Newarkadvocate.com) |
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Local suspect on the loose after vaulting a police cruiser and crashing through the window of a local market. (With demonic eyewitness picture)
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| (PJStar) |
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Tattoo artist arrested after he tattoos the names of five people on 15-year-old girl's butt at party
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| (The Courier Mail) |
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Woman awarded $194,000 after police officer makes her get naked and waddle like a duck
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| (Sun Herald) |
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Fifteen pounds of cocaine shipped to Mississippi elementary school for the second time in a week
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| (Buffalo News) |
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Satan faulted for poor performance; asked to make "more sacrifices"
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Bank robber tells jury that God told him to rob banks. Jury tells robber that God told them to put him in jail
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Video of models wearing only chocolate at New York's annual "Chocolate Show" (with pic)
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| (Yale Daily News) |
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"The men in the pictures also placed their penises on some of the building's doorknobs and telephones and used them to press the buttons on the elevator"
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Suspicious naked guy in convenience store chased away by manager
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Yet another Norwegian goes nuts on plane when the crew refuses to serve him more beer
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| (The Star) |
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Even Freud's granddaughter admits he was a clown
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| (CNSNews) |
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Pro-marijuana group gets free ads on DC busses touting pot as giving rise to better sex. Finally, truth in advertising
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Four jailed after "ultimate food fight" breaks out between employees, customers at Wendy's
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| (WTHI) |
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Semi carrying thousands of gallons of pork fat turns over on I-70. In other news, Anna Nicole's liposuction said to be a success
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Suspect in murder of Cincinnati Reds player posts bail, then disappears back into the witness protection program
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Mississippi town, population 1345, credits casinos for farmers' recent success instead of buffer marijuana crops
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Lawyer bills school district $60 an hour to have legal assistant make telephone call, billed $60 an hour for telling lawyer about call, and billed $120 an hour for being told about call
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Rick Salomon nails Paris Hilton with a $10 million lawsuit
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Artist to spend 12 days in baked-bean-filled bathtub with chips up his nose and his head wrapped in sausages because visiting friend complained that British food sucks
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Garbagemen find alien purse in truck, enjoy some pie
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Screaming man, lodged in windshield of speeding car, mistaken for duffle bag by driver
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Professional Santa shares stories of woe, including brutal beatings by scared children and the time a 427-pound man sat on him
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Exhausted from wrestling with a moral dilemma, Larry Flynt gets his sleaze back on and runs incriminating photos of Schwarzenegger in upcoming Hustler
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Fox News to air their version of the JFK assassination conspiracy. Apparently, numerous women in bikinis played a major role
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Jurors for rape, robbery and murder trials regularly drink at the local bar during breaks throughout the day
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Before burying a co-worker underneath your floor, make sure they are dead
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| (Daily Mirror) |
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Tony Blair sends top secret emails to hairdresser
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How to watch the Paris Hilton sex tape at work
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Cops fine man for scratching his ear while driving
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Singapore celebrates World Toilet Day
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| (n-jcenter.com) |
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Driver, 69, gets license renewed even after hitting DMV building
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| (Some Guy) |
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Farker Fubar has to object at a wedding on Saturday. Give suggestions on what to say, top objection will be used. Wedding is at a bar. Voting enabled
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| (Newry Journal) |
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Cops spend four hours quizzing witnesses after collision between two dodgem cars at funfair
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The Radical Cheerleaders fight bombs with pompoms and kick high for consciousness
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Tommy Lee and Pink slobber over each other in public. Farkers indifferent, wait for sex video
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Photoshop this protestor
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| (Boston Herald) |
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Lottery officials refuse to sell man $7 million worth of tickets
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The Thanksgiving turkey's life will be saved if it can beat a Hooter's chick in a limbo contest. Gobble gobble
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| (Palm Beach Post) |
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Murder trial ends with "victim" testifying. Prosecutor ends arguments as voice of beaten boy
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| (Some Guy) |
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Even in Holland, they got boobies (not safe for work)
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| (World Net Daily) |
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Al-Qaeda expects 100,000 dead in an attack that will horrify the world. Al-Qaeda also predicts the Bengals will beat the Chiefs and that Baylor will beat the spread against Oklahoma
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German saboteurs plotted to bomb Buckingham Palace with exploding cans of peas in World War II
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Professor who studies "branding" put Sam's Choice cola in package labeled for Coke in taste test. Many people liked the choice branded for Coke better, even though it was Sam's
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| (Some Guy) |
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Enhance your favorite song with a cowbell. (Link goes to inspiration)
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1.4 million lose power as windstorms rush across Midwest, East
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| (wbay.com) |
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Convicted murderer sues Dr Phil. But she doesn't have a leg to stand on
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| (Honolulu Advertiser) |
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How to keep yourself from killing your college roommate by the end of the semester
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| (The Mercury News) |
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Baseball players fail steroid tests. In other news, asterisks to be added to McGwire, Sosa and Bonds records
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Judge says man driving over the legal limit with "2DRUNK" license plate was just asking to be stopped by police
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: Illustrations for the book, "Everything I Needed to Know, I Learned from Fark." Link goes nowhere
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| (Phillynews) |
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"Fear Factor" is the number one show among two- to five-year-olds (second item)
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| Thu November 13, 2003 |
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Wheaton College holding first dance in 143 years. Kevin Bacon not available for comment
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| (wavy.com) |
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Store owner decides that three punks robbing him deserve a good, old-fashion ass kicking
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| (BusinessWeek) |
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NY Jets ready to announce a new $1 billion stadium in Manhattan, complete with retractable roof
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The return of Vida Guerra -- you could pitch a tent under that moon (probably not safe for work)
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"Don't be a Punk and Get Drunk" promotional poster of Jim McMahon for Illinois Liquor Commission -- McMahon busted for DUI last Sunday
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Genetically-modified corn has been available for 4,000 years
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| (Japan Today) |
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Green Santa Claus arrives in Japan. Awaiting arrival of Red, Blue, Pink and Yellow Santa's in order to form giant battle robot
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George Steinbrenner, losing his already slippery grip on reality, hires Darryl Strawberry as a player-development coach
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In the market for a $110k a year job, a three-day work week and a boss that doesn't care that you don't show up 17 percent of the time? The Canadian Senate is the place for you
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Don't refuel your scooter in the dark. If you do, stay in the dark instead of using a cigarette lighter to see
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| (KSDK) |
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St. Louis mayor unveils anti-car-theft initiative. Thieves respond by stealing his car
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| (Courier & Press) |
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How much boobie is too much boobie? Local court to decide
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Woman learns she's actually twins who fused in the womb
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Scientists create living artificial organism from scratch. Still no cure for cancer
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| (CMT) |
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Wynonna hosted 40 greatest drinking songs special on CMT 2 weeks ago
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Tonya Harding turns down offer to ice skate topless in Las Vegas
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| (Some Guy) |
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Farker squirrelfury is getting assigned to Okinawa, Japan. Photoshop some expected highlights of his two years there. Link goes to example
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Scientists prove men and women react differently when they fall in love. Here comes the science
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Man sues car dealership for selling him a truck against his will
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Mugshot of the 28-year-old female teacher found with beer, porn and seven teenagers at her place
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Grab the tanning lotion! Sun lets loose another hot, gassy one
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Ohio Department of Transportation bans wind on local roadways
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Japan delays sending troops to Iraq. Military being geared to fight giant radioactive monsters
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Schwarzenegger working really, really hard on setting up his new administration while he is in Maui
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Are Norway's corpse-beheading Satanists coming out of the woodwork?
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Company reports 3rd quarter loss of $103 million, lays off workers. Days later, agrees to buy $1 million in Superbowl tickets
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| (wmcstations.com) |
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Investigation finds most people should be asking panhandlers for spare change
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Norwegian sets new undisputed world record in drunken insanity aboard a passenger plane
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Invoking the name of "Jesus" tames attacking alligators
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World's oldest person now world's newest dead person
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| (Deseret News) |
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Man takes out loan to finance kidnapping of his high school student ex-girlfriend
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Bad news: Wynonna Judd busted for DUI. Worse news: Her mug shot has been released by cops
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At least 10 more Paris Hilton sex videos discovered
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| (NBC4) |
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Dispute with customers who complained about a baked potato escalates beyond reason as offended waiter drapes their house in toilet paper and pelts it with eggs and bottles of syrup
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| (NY Daily News) |
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When demanding an autopsy be done on your daughter, make sure she didn't die eating drugs you left lying around
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Liam Gallagher buys some bread -- why is the Sun there? (w/pic)
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| (News8 Austin) |
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"The sheriff became extremely intoxicated and engaged in highly inappropriate behavior, including crawling on all fours like a dog, barking, and biting"
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Ten Commandments judge removed from bench
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| (Space-Frontier) |
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Man sues NASA for failing to pay a parking ticket. Claims NASA has had a probe parked on his asteroid for nearly two years
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| (Some Oddball) |
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Photoshop a We See/They See (link goes to examples)
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GENUINE CANNABIS LEAVES (not to be smoked)
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If you're diagnosed with brain disease, ask for a second opinion before you commit suicide
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Former president Bill Clinton offered millions to represent Chinese clothing line
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Having solved all other major issues, key U.S. senators working on a forthcoming copyright bill that would place file swappers in prison for up to three years if they have a copy of even one prerelease movie in their shared folders
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Latest craze in Thailand -- boxing orangutans (w/pics)
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Senate sleepover wrapping up. Many lawmakers awake to find their undies frozen and one eyebrow shaved off
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Surgeons remove grapefruit-sized hairball from a three-year-old girl
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| (KLASTV) |
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Wonder where your $20 is from the CD settlement ? It's under appeal, but not from who you think
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Egyptians stage play based on pages found jammed into 2,050 year old mummy
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| (Mirror) |
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Guinness to publish "World's Grossest Records." Not for the faint of stomach
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Sprint adding real-time TV with the shockingly fast rate of two frames per second. Users to experience words "Peter Jennings," followed by "Ready For Some Football?"
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| (RyanHolt.com) |
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Please help farker's three-year old friend, who has lymphoma
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Finally. Neighbors describe nutjob as "not mentally stable" instead of "nice, quiet guy who kept to himself"
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Alberta to power entire towns with poop
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| (Daily Mirror) |
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British comedians warned not to make jokes about Prince Charles
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Letterman will marry his girlfriend, because "you don't want the child to be raised a bastard"
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Lightning strikes twice as Georgia man buys two winning tickets for the $70 million "Mega Millions" jackpot
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| (Right Wing News) |
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If today's press covered D-Day: Tragic French offensive stalled on beaches
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Top 10 scientific hoaxes of all time
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: Photoshop three things that start with the letter B. Link goes to baby, bat and ball
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Hollywood is out of ideas: Scooby Doo II
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| (College Station Eagle) |
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Neiman Marcus includes its "$250 cookie recipe" in new $45 cookbook
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| (Some Juggy Fan) |
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November 13 is Jimmy Kimmel's birthday. Photoshop how he should celebrate. Jimmy will see these, his writers mine Fark all day long
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eBay beanie-baby guy IS divorced
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Scientists hope to glean information about whales by studying their massive excrement. Taco Bell subcontracted to expedite mission
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| Wed November 12, 2003 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Make your own music from email subject lines. (Link goes to real CD)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Farker needs funny, SFW sign to post above microwave at work for those co-workers who constantly burn popcorn or burritos during lunch, nearly starting fires and stink up the whole department. (Link goes nowhere)
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Judge says everyone involved in the Rosie O'Donnell lawsuit is an assclown
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| (Greenville Online) |
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Women in search of beer try to steal man's wallet, then kick in his front door
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| (Brenham Banner) |
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School teacher, 28, discovered at her residence with lots of beer cans, pornographic material on display, seven minors ranging in ages 14 to 19, and "Hot For Teacher" playing in the background
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Study: Moon does not have expanses of ice, nor gin, nor vermouth. Russia less interested
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Woman wonders how $200 worth of groceries got in the trunk of her car
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Bet entered incorrectly by bookie nets man $2.6 million
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Woman who claimed to have found rolled-up condom in her bowl of clam chowder sues restaurant, as do, for some reason, all three of the women who were dining with her
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| (BizJournals) |
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United names it's new budget airline "Ted." Apparently saving money by painting over the letters "Uni" on their bankrupt-ass planes
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Woman suspects cross-dressing shoe-stealer of perverted burglary
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Atlanta's first freeze of year expected tonight. In other news, milk and bread flying off shelves, massive traffic jams expected for morning rush hour
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Most of the 46 states that cashed in on the landmark $246 billion settlement with tobacco companies five years ago are spending little-to-none on smoking-prevention programs
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If you plan on secretly filming your female roommates in the bathroom, don't leave the image up on your TV screen for them to see
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Ford stock hovering near junk-bond status, Ford products having achieved that goal long ago
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In attempt to cut costs, zoo offers to let patrons take animals home for the winter
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| (The Ledger) |
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Holiday shopping can be done nude
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| (Some Guy) |
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Step 1: Buy Model T replica. Step 2: (fill in the blank) Step 3: Profit... Photoshop what Step 2 could be
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| (click10) |
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High winds launch Florida surfers into parking lot
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Scientists study thundersnow phenomenon. Doot-doo doo-doo-doot
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| (wnd) |
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New York City rules that the birth of Jesus Christ is not a historical event
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| (Sonoma News) |
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Turkey picks wrong time of year to terrorize trailer-park residents. "The bird chases cars. It comes up to people and goes 'gobble gobble gobble.'"
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Carcasses in Chinese restaurant are coyotes, not dogs. Roadrunner unavailable for comment
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| (Sun Sentinel) |
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Man who sold beanie babies for beer was a fraud... he's actually married
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Can women last without sex?
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NBC, after acknowledging its shows suck, quickly backpedals and blames the Nielsen company
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| (Some Guy) |
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Former chief of procurement in Clinton administration says there is nothing fishy about Halliburton's Iraq contracts
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Bear suffers crispy-fried 19,000-volt death after climbing up utility pole. Dinner is served
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| (wtopnews.com) |
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Forget John, Mary, Jane or Bob -- parents are now naming their children after consumer products, networks and diseases
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| (newsobserver.com) |
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Nation's oldest veteran dies on eve of Veteran's Day at age 115. Had fond memories of General John J. Pershing in WWI. (With pic)
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Thief tries to sell stolen car back to owner: Jailarity ensues
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Criminal defense lawyers get Supreme Court to order that only juries, not judges, can sentence people to death. So they are, at a breakneck pace
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"Forced to publicly defend [Sharpton], black leaders privately groused that he made them look like idiots"
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John Kerry appears on Tonight Show on borrowed Harley
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Meet the loudest burper in the world: "Everybody has a dream to be the best at something"
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George Takei (Mr. Sulu) beams back to former Japanese internment camp in Arkansas where he grew up during WWII
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Man jailed for trying to recycle 9000 beer cans
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| (Zwire) |
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Minister who spanked boys' bare buttocks said he would hit it again given half a chance
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Speilberg purchases Goonies 2 script
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British Airways pilot, co-pilot and a female purser drunk at take-off
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Article mentions hepatitis, "Chi-Chi's" and "Beaver Valley," but is not about Pamela Anderson
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Page 3 Idol -- the winner (not safe for work)
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Houston school district admits it doesn't expel violent kids because it gets $15 a day if they keep showing up in class
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| (nbc10.com) |
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Woman, 79, runs burglar out of apartment, for good measure adds, "Go to hell"
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"Kasparov, Computer Tie in Chest Match" -- Pamela Anderson unavailable for comment
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop your favorite deceased celebrity if he/she was alive today. Link goes to nothing
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| (Some Guy) |
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From Rainbow Brite to Urkel, a history of mostly short-lived cereals
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| (The Daily Barometer Online) |
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No one dates in college anymore. All they do now is have numerous one-night stands
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| (STLToday) |
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Kid gets smacked in head with skateboard on a dare, organs end up saving someone with same birthday
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In the dressing room with "Pieces of Ass" stars, including Brooke Burke (possibly not safe for work)
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Hot-dog pilot crashes helicopter two months after almost killing 200 people (with video)
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CNN admits Rock the Vote question was rigged, apologizes
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AudioEdit the reasons why a McJob is so great
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Scientists are shoving old people around to find out why they fall down so much. Farmer's markets eagerly await results
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Makers of Grand Theft Auto sued for $250 million, last seen speeding towards paint shop
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Bartman ball up for auction. Charlie Sheen and Todd McFarlane have checkbooks poised and ready
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| (Dayton TV news) |
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Avoid wearing overly large pants when playing chicken with trains
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop theme: Mate-a-movie. Combine two or more movies into one. Link goes nowhwere
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Devices that read human thought now possible
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Eating sushi off naked women causes stir in Seattle
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| (Newsfilter.org) |
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Teri Harrison (not safe for work)
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| Tue November 11, 2003 |
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Fat, unpopular extraterrestrials with acne may be targeting your PC
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Merriam-Webster's publisher tells McDonald's to McStuffit
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Man's perfect suburban lawn during mandatory water restriction prompts "hose rage"
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Russian aircraft could have saved California from needless burning
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Jessica Lynch's bio falls short of first-day sales expectations, apparently due to not enough hype
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Highway department opens spiffy new bridge. Forgets to pave the whole thing. Gridlock ensues
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| (Boston Herald) |
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Jumper saved by ex-state trooper who tells him his car is on fire and makes him look away briefly
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Changing your clothes? Make sure you aren't going 60 mph
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| (Herald Sun) |
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Hong Kong undercover cops allowed to have sex with prositutes first, then arrest them, although none of them enjoy it
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Detroit schools help to dress and feed kids they teach. Wiping their asses after using bathroom on agenda
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Hong Kong finally calls in an expert to catch their wayward crocodile
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| (Press Herald) |
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Completing the trifecta of guys you've never really heard of dying, some dude named Kenneth Clegg died in Maine
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| (News 5) |
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James Rich, who co-wrote the instrumental "Yakety Sax," has died at 80. You probably know it better as the Benny Hill theme music
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Art Carney has died at age 85. Played Ed Norton on "The Honeymooners"
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If you grow pot in your apartment, let the cat out once in a while
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Girl Scouts learning how to skin beavers, tan their hides
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Spider dangling from motion detector sparks robbery alert
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Condemned meat-packing plant in men's prison reopening this week
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Student says CNN rigged questions for last week's Rock The Vote democratic presidential nominee debate
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Today's "dumbass robber leaves wallet at scene of crime" story brought to you by Memphis, Tennessee
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| (kansas.com) |
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Man wins chili cook-off by taking samples from all other contestants, mixing them together
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Pill to help people overcome fear developed. Jack Daniels already has patent on liquid version
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Order a high quality Jack Chick film today. "You can almost feel the crackling flames of hell as you watch"
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Is it free speech to drop your pants after the audience boos your opera?
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Christian Slater roughed up by wife, great mug shot
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Punters are under starters orders to catch Dwain the Crafty Canine
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Series of (yawn) strong blasts (yawn) heard in Baghdad. Shocking
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| (playboy.com) |
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Take the Playboy "Breast Test," version 4.0 (not safe for work)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Describe the hyjinks at your wildest company X-mas party. Anyone fired as a result? (Link goes to ex-felon dressed as Santa)
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President Bush jokes about his drinking days
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Cop plans million-dollar heist. Tells fellow cop beforehand. Hillarity ensues
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Hotel heir who claimed he dismembered a neighbor in self-defense found not guilty of murder
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Larry Flynt to not publish newly aquired photos of Jessica Lynch's boobies because it's beneath his dignity
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Satellite captures demise of world's largest iceberg (pic)
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Man cutting 55-gallon paint-thinner drum with blowtorch surprised when drum explodes
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French rappers provoke government outrage with song calling France a bitch. Not quite a repeat, last link required registration, this one doesn't
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Fake cop pulls over driver, calls real police for backup. Hilarity ensues
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State employee says deleting friend's arrest records was "an accident"
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New "weed" growing on Yale University's hallowed walls is not ivy
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Design a cover for the first issue of Fark Magazine. Link goes to GIS for "magazine cover"
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| (Boston Herald) |
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Study finds that frozen trumpets sound like unfrozen trumpets. Still no cure for cancer
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Driver killed when he is run over by his own stalled vehicle
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Oops, shades of e-voting: 144,000 votes cast, only 19,000 registered voters
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Buy yourself an Imaginary Online Girlfriend for under 50 bucks
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| (The Boobdex) |
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Thy cup runneth over with boobies (not safe for work)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Juvenile punishment does not exist in Missouri
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Alabama Ten Commandments judge learning "Thou shalt not defy superior federal judge"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Skip the pretty wreaths and platitudes and do something that matters -- donate or volunteer
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| (Some Guy) |
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AudioEdit a guide, "How to Sound Cool in AudioEdits," for newbie AudioEditors
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| (NY 1) |
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Kids in Brooklyn find a missile launcher (with video link)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Austin Fark Party, November 18. Link goes to the ad's comments
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| (Some Farker) |
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Photoshop the line of thoughts of the average Fark user. (Link goes to a pint of Guinness)
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Relive the highlights of the 1984 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. (Massive review w/ video clips)
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| Mon November 10, 2003 |
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French Interior minister caught speeding on way to inaugurate new speed camera. French motorists "calibrate" camera using sledgehammer a few hours later
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Blokes' tampered cokes end in gang-pokes
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Amazon adds yet another product sector to its empire
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Saturday's lunar eclipse doesn't disappoint, unless you happen to live in South Florida (pic)
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Ghost ships floating aimlessly around in middle of the Atlantic. Ghost wives bitching that they should stop to ask directions
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| (Some Guy) |
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Got milk? Sure do, 20 tons of it are crushing my car
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Source of great Kokomo hum discovered. Big ass fans to blame
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CBS president denies political pressure led to cancellation of "The Reagans." Reruns of "Matlock" deemed more compelling for same time slot
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Photoshop this pic of Prince Charles not doing something
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Researcher finds male baboons greet one another by fondling each other's genitalia
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| (click 10) |
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Woman pulls newspaper ad offering to sell her extra breast milk after getting too many prank calls. "One man wanted to know if it came in chocolate"
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Scientists make breakthrough in figuring out why people smell
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| (Some Guy) |
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Veronica Zemanova and her big, beautiful boobies. Not safe for work
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Complimenting an African city by saying it is so clean it doesn't look like it is in Africa may just be insulting to your hosts
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Students aren't using info technology responsibly
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Dennis Kucinich is looking to parlay his candidacy into a little boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom
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| (Some Guy) |
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The 100 percent silicone-free Joy Behrman (not safe for work)
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Road barriers now being "supersized" to cope with Big Mac-fortified drivers and their oversized SUVs
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College hoop preseason poll: Overrated UConn, No. 1; Duke sucks, No. 2
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Having trouble soldering in microgravity? NASA may have a solution
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Turkish woman locked her husband naked in the bathroom for three years claiming HE was mentally disturbed
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Job ad offering $800 to $1000 a week working with live sound equipment turns out to involve selling equipment cash-only from back of a truck
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County has lime-green trash cans delivered to homes as part of garbage-collection pilot project. County forgets to notify residents. Hilarity ensues
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| (Some Guy) |
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Brits name beer widget most important technological advance of the last 40 years
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The jail is so crowded that newcomers are immediately beaten up so that they will be moved to the infirmary. Apparently haven't figured out there is room in the morgue, too
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Bored by the creeping lunar eclipse, or missed it due to clouds? Next up on the "look-in-the-sky calendar," the Leonids. Here comes the science
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| (WCCO.com) |
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F-16s scrambled when private plane strays into White House exclusion zone
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Never give women too much too soon
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| (Some Guy) |
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Mercedes McNab, AKA the dingy blond vampire chick from Angel (sfw)
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Turkish Muslims stuck with an extra day of fasting after cleric calls the wrong end time
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New Strongbad email
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| (cjonline.com) |
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Woman sues after finding condom in clam chowder. Waiter apparently thought she asked for "man chowder"
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Illegal immigrants arrested in Wal-Mart sting now suing Wal-Mart for discrimination
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| (Some Guy) |
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Watching The Oprah will stress you out. Pass the Paxil, honey
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| (Some Guy) |
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