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| Sun September 28, 2003 |
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Prairie dogs sucked up by vacuum. Huh?
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Church minister instructed by God to rob banks
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Black Pudding Olympics held in Northern England. Ecky thump
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Attention flash mobbers: It's over. Leave it at the curb. The cutesy "tee hee'" factor has dwindled to zero. Pass it on
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| (Modbee) |
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Architecturally challenged teen trapped while crawling through his own sand tunnels
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Five-year-old girl makes bong in class
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| (Swissinfo) |
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Swiss march against pedophilia. Coming soon: Fondue against poverty and yodeling for the homeless
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"On the Waterfront" director Elia Kazan dies
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Althea Gibson, the first black tennis star, has died
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| (News12.com) |
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Blow-gun attacks on the rise on Long Island. Poison frogs being questioned (with video)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Beer thief gets instant capital punishment
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| (FARIK) |
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Photoshoop WebPages for mispelled URL adreses. Link goas to exanple
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| (IGN) |
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UT 2004 is going to blow the doors off Halo, spank it with the doors, then run it over a couple of times before shooting it in the head
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Hindu priests marry off animals for world peace
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| (Magic Valley) |
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Nevada, Utah and Idaho get $20 million to fight crickets
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| (The Olympian) |
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Father honors dead son by skateboarding coast to coast across United States in 21 days
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The five golden rules of Italian cellphone adultery
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Pill developed for Russian spies prevents hangovers
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Today Vet's Stadium closes. Read about what happened last time Philly closed a stadium
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| (businesswire.com) |
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Disney is re-releasing The Lion King on DVD with new animation and a brand-new song by Elton John
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| (WIXT) |
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Man busted buying drink with employee's stolen credit card
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Last year, we drank nearly three billion gallons of Coke. Here's the story of an addict
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| (www.tvbarn.com) |
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Jinkies. Boomerang Network to broadcast 368 uninterrupted Scooby Doo cartoons during the month of October
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If you tried talking to God, would He talk back? CBS thinks so, and they hope you will too
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| (India Times) |
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France has a new trend: Going to bed early. France surrenders
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50 Cent buys Mike Tyson's Connecticut mansion, once valued at $25 million, for $4 million
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| (About.com) |
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How to measure the speed of light using chocolate, a ruler and a microwave oven
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| (Lincolnshire Echo) |
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Man shoots neighbor's budgie after being asked to stop firing at targets
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: If Kim Jong-Il ruled the world
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| (Daily Nation) |
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"God is good, friends. And pork is His creation"
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| (Western Morning News) |
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Career criminal released on bail despite breaking into judge's office
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| (www.toonzone.net) |
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Seth MacFarlane, creator of Family Guy, to make new animated series for Fox that will be a combination of Family Guy and All in the Family
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Man robs bank, waits for police
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| (this is gloucestershire) |
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Villagers protest against human sewage being spread on farmer's fields
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| (Press and Journal) |
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Student punched in face because he didn't smoke
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How does a touch lamp work, lets find out
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Indians flee in terror as meteorite crashes into earth
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| (EE Times) |
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Scientists achieve the holy grail of magnetism: A 25-foot Tesla magnet. Polarity ensues
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In Japan, even the crabs are happy
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| (Brooklyn Botanic Garden) |
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What are you doing at home, when you could be at the Chile Pepper Fiesta worshiping the Capsaicin God? Mmmm... chile
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Wild puma on the loose in London, citizens urged to stay indoors and ask each other what the hell a puma is
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| (Some Historian) |
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The 100 most important documents in U.S. history
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Study concludes sunscreen does not protect against skin cancer. Still no cure for cancer, obviously
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The latest in body fashion accessories: Designer arteries
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Japanese tourists celebrate China invasion anniversary with 500 prostitutes
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| (Some Thin Guy) |
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Farker's wife is on the Atkins diet. Photoshop your own idea for a new diet fad. Link goes to Atkins site
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Dogfighting tops list of hated sports; women's soccer, chicken baiting close behind
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French try to convince pope to remove gluttony from list of seven deadly sins. Pope mumbles incoherently, France surrenders
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| (Montgomery Advertiser) |
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Man uses school cafeteria as toilet. Students say food tastes even more like crap
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Power out in Italy. Ohio: "It wasn't us"
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Man to run marathon on the bottom of Loch Ness unless eaten by Nessie first
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| (Some Guy) |
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What smells worse than Patchouli? Voting enabled.
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Union cuts deal with Hormel, your Spam is safe
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The Big Dig turned 20, older than about one-quarter of the state's residents
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| Sat September 27, 2003 |
| (WXMI FOX 17) |
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Newest way to rob stores? Hot coffee of course.
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The Tigers will try to avoid 120 losses tonight by beating a pitcher who hasn't lost to them since June 1998
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Tigers avoid history by coming back from 8-0 deficit. Can still tie the record tommorow vs. Minnesota. Go Tigers
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Two private companies are set to start taking people on trips into space
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| (icbirmingham.co.uk (Local News) |
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Student leaves flat for 6 months. Giant hamster love-in ensues. Whooo`s yo daddy?
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In search of the world's most disgusting smell
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Safe Swimming. Another ugly ass pic
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| (TDN) |
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Man stops friend from committing suicide, shoots self while unloading gun. Both men OK
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| (ADN) |
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Loophole allows business owners to write off entire purchase of any vehicle smaller than 6,000 pounds.
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Pope in relatively good form at Vatican Events, earns 9.8, slightly penalized for dismounts
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| (Some Guy) |
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Catch some slamball!
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A father-and-daughter team build a race cart out of bubble gum, chewed their way through the competition
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| (Rochester D&C) |
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Another day, another elderly asshat that shouldn't be driving
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Judge who ruled against Do-Not-Call List had his own number on the list
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| (madison.com) |
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Flamingos descend on Wisconsin town
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A formula for figuring out how much you crap out based on how much you swallow
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| (Some Guy) |
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Fun with bowling balls and a mortar. These guys must have 12-pound balls
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Photoshop Colorado Rockies pitcher Chin-hui Tsao
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"Singin' in the Rain" star Donald O'Connor dead at 78
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Cubs win NL Central. Hell considers buying space heaters
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45
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| (Some Guy) |
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Draw your own holograms
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Followers outraged over statue depicting Hindu god talking on cellphone
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| (Some Guy) |
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New record company's motto is "We are not evil". Allows MP3 downloads and gives 50% of sales to the artists. Lars Ulrich surrenders
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| (Some Horny Guy) |
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Fark Freebie: Condoms and Lube
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| (Some Drunk Guy) |
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Farker Parallax wins a bar for his Flash toon; Behold the power of Fark Classifieds
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| (Some Guy) |
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Bored? Join the LAPD sniper squad
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| (Some Guy) |
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7.5 magnitude quake hits Siberia. The end times are nigh
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Lack of waves along Gulf Coast leads to surfers catching the wakes from huge oil tankers
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| (Yosemite Fun) |
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How not to pick up rattlesnake, includes video
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| (Nottingham Post) |
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Callers replying to sex ads find they've rung a judge
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| (NPS.gov) |
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National Park of the week, with pic
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The Myth of the Russian Stability
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Women enjoy terrorizing men
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| (Lincolnshire Echo) |
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Radio station fined for simulated sex on breakfast show
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| (Daily Interlake) |
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Couple gets married, but neither the bride or groom attend the ceremony
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Evicted tenant gets revenge by selling landlord's stuff at yard sale
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| (Some Guy) |
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In honor of Dr. Seuss, photoshop this still from the Cat in the Hat movie
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Nature calls man. Man sees portable toilet. Toilet belongs to construction workers. Worker parks bulldozer in front of door
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| (Daily Nebraskan) |
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Nebraska student brags about stealing dozens of streetsigns, poses with stolen signs for front page newspaper article. Jailarity ensues
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| (Nottingham Post) |
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Cops pull plug on magician's 12-mile blindfold drive
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| (WWDN) |
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Wil Wheaton beer joke. Coors and Miller surrender
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Weapons of the Future - Weather, Plasma and Money
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Latvia Opens SS Veterans Cemetery
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First Open Computer Destruction Championship held in Ukraine. "After sitting at the keyboard all day, I needed revenge."
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| (Some Guy) |
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Everything you know about Murphy's Law is wrong
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| (Some Guy) |
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Why is Guinness black yet bubbles that settle on top, which are made of the same stuff, are white?
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Teens plead guilty, "thought it was typical spring break party until people started shooting arrows into walls and walking out with VCRs"
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| (Western Daily Press) |
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Pigeon shiat crushes house roof
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Man caught laying concrete blocks on train tracks has simple excuse: I can't get a job
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First nightclub chaplain to start later this year. "Forgive me, father, for I'm about to get shiat-faced"
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| (www.mysolano.com) |
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Crop circles confuse California town; common sense surrenders
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| (NASIOC) |
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Saturn makes a rally-car. Co-driver not impressed by subwoofers
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| (Some Guy) |
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"We can't allow prison guards to have sex with inmates. That doesn't bode well for order in prisons"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: Jesus thinks you're a jerk
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| (Trektoday) |
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Paramount releases entire series of Star Trek: The Next Generation in "Borg Megacube". Message to wallet: "Resistance is futile."
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| (NewsNet5) |
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Police union hall burglarized after someone forgot to set alarm
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| (Honolulu Advertiser) |
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The buses will be free next week in Hawaii with higher prices after that
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Police lay in eight-hour siege on house only to find suspect speaking to them on mobile phone wasn't in the house the whole time
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Massachusetts may ban heavy textbooks
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| (Winona Daily News) |
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Minnesota's governor challenges Wisconsin's governor to a steamboat race for a broom
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| Fri September 26, 2003 |
| (Some Guy) |
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The History of Lying; By me, yeah, that's the ticket.
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don't we think we're smart/so our new parking garage/has haiku on it
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| (Some Guy) |
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World Beard Championship, with pics
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| (Gulf Live) |
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Father and two sons find unexploded fireworks skyshells. Father says to kids, after handing them a lighter, "See if it will light." Explosive hi-jinks and lawsuit ensure
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop the Wisconsin quarter, suggestion already uses a cow and a cheese
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| (Some Guy) |
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We're all farking rich. Find out just how rich you are
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Europe counting down to first moon mission. France to withdraw support if moon is really made of cheese
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Army Corps of Engineers using lasers to terraform lake beds. Use of mutated sea bass expected late next year
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Giant avocados, large enough to make three gallons of avocado soup or two pounds of guacamole, are about to go on sale in Britain
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Dewey Decimal System files suit against library-themed hotel for trademark infringement. Library of Congress Classification System has no comment
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German chicks, beer... what's not to like about Oktoberfest?
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| (Interest Alert) |
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Atkins' new lo-carb ice-cream line to feature flavor such as "paste" and "ass"
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| (AutoWeek.com) |
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Faster than the speed of ugly: Pontiac shows Aztek featuring a 7.0L V8 with 665hp, six-speed manual and Corvette suspension
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| (Sports Illustrated) |
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Sports Illustrated's "Fresh Faces Face-Off," Week One wow (SFW)
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| (space.com) |
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Uranus now visible in the night sky. Urpenis not available for comment
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Trifecta complete. "Whitey" of Leave It to Beaver fame dies
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| (Rense.com) |
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This month in UFO history
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SBF seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. Will be at the front door wearing only what nature gave me. Call and ask for Daisy. 15,000 men respond to find Daisy is black lab at Humane Society
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Fifteen-year-old such a strong hitter that league prohibits him from using an aluminum bat
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| (Press and Journal) |
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Grumpy Scots set to be cheered up by Swiss couple's Happy City Project
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Latest trend in Britain: "Dogging" -- having sex in parks or other public places with the possibility of being watched
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| (District of North Vancouver) |
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When slingshots are outlawed, only outlaws will have slingshots
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You can now own your own West Texas Town
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Scientists make 10 optical discs from single corncob. Sony surrenders. Time to buy some stock
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| (Some Guy) |
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See if your telephone number spells anything
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| (Cornish Guardian) |
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War veteran fights off parrot attack in park
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Beer truck flips, dumps its load on interstate (with photos)
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Finance ministry in Prague going mad as latest telephone directory gives them same number as city's main lunatic asylum
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High school football player gets jaw broken by teammates. "They told me this is what happens when you throw interceptions"
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In an attempt to finally kill the NBA, Converse releases "Loaded Weapon" shoe
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Donald Trump has no idea why he was listed as sponsor of Al Sharpton's upcoming presidential fund-raiser
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| (Blavod) |
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Halloween is coming soon. Stock up on black vodka
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| (Some Bright Guy) |
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We're one step closer to meeting Klingons
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| (some One) |
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Working BitTorrent and FileRush mirrors of the new Matrix Revolutions trailer, because WB's site is nearly dead
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| (Some Guy) |
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Help build a park -- buy a personalized brick. Just don't say the "J word"
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Photoshop Prince Harry and his prickly friend
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Lesson No.1 for selling a $729,000 Ferrari -- don't get out of the car during the test drive
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| (Billings Gazette) |
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London farkers can now get Krispy Kreme donuts
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California wines suck -- here's why
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Congress finds Cheney is still getting money from Halliburton. Still unclear who delivers his arrogance and intestinal bloat
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U.S. issues recall for Segway scooters. "Oh, SHT" says Kamen
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Bruce Willis offers $1m bounty on Saddam. Only offering $1 for Ashton Kutcher
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Due to popular demand, engineers have finally developed silicon chip that mimics octopus retinas
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| (WND) |
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CNN gives out phone number for Fox News' Washington bureau. Fox News retaliates by posting Tucker Carlson's home phone number on its website
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Writer George Plimpton dead at 76
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After winning the bid for luxury vehicles online, the smart thing to do is send a check right away
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Man attacked by grizzly bear uses duct tape to close his wounds, takes himself to hospital
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In light of yesterday's fascinating discovery that humans are more closely related to dogs than mice, Popeye's begins serving "14-piece cajun mouse meal."
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Singer Robert Palmer dies at 54
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| (Some Guy) |
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AudioEdit: Create your new answering-machine message
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In celebration of nearly three years of Farking and zero approved links, photoshop this celebrity couple for Farker whelmed
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Hilarious safety charts from India warn kids of rooftop kite-flying and banana-peel slippage
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Photoshop where a stairway to nowhere that went somewhere before Isabel
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| (Charlie's Kitchen) |
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Boston Fark Party this Saturday, 7:00 PM @ Charlie's Kitchen, Harvard Sq. (see Fark Party Central for details)
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Photo of pizza bomber's cane-gun released
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| Thu September 25, 2003 |
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Boobs are in fashion (not safe for work)
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Latest government census determines there are 31,629,677 people living in Canada. Figure reached by taking the number of empties returned each day to the beer store and dividing by 24
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Oklahoma judge who backed telemarketers earlier this week swamped with faxes and calls from angry farkers
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What is at fault for computer-security issues: Microsoft's monopoly or inept users?
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"Green Eggs and Ham" put into Latin, two other translated Seuss books have sold 60,000 copies
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Scientists discover that you have more in common genetically with Fido than with Mickey
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Biggest and most expensive cruise ship ever has set out to sea. Hmmm, this sounds familiar somehow...
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| (NZ Herald) |
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Burned portapotties might look like art, but it was an unscheduled contribution
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Second judge blocks "do not call" list. Judge's reasons include free speech and his own stupidity
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NASA photographs two new moons of Uranus (insert joke here)
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Red Lobster's president canned after all-you-can-eat promotion goes awry. Blamed on inviting Homer Simpson to the grand opening
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| (NOAA) |
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Tsunami watches and warnings for Alaska and BC cancelled. Tsunami parties called off, strippers sent home
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| (Jacksonville.com) |
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Attention: If you live in southwest Florida, your water may contain cow turds
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A wiener dog tugs a float during German-American friendship week
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Blaine to be charged for his police protection
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Charlton Heston receives first ever "Charlton Heston Award," which salutes young talent despite the fact the award is named after him and he's 79
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| (WCATWC) |
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List of tsunami warnings, watches and wave arrivals for Alaska and the U.S. West Coast
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BYU yanks Sports Illustrated On Campus because of pic of bare bottoms. Because it might lead to dancing
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Search for evidence of water on Mars continues
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Russian newspaper prints U.S. "most wanted" card deck. Laura Bush cited for "(making) her husband quit drinking"
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| (USGS) |
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8.0 quake off coast of Japan. Tsunami warnings officially issued for parts of Alaska
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New regulations may require all tequila sold in United States to be bottled in Mexico
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| (juneauempire.com) |
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The Weekly World News says Bin Laden is in Alaska. State troopers say that's information they can't share
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Funeral parlor's aggressive advertising campaign pulled for bad taste
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Record industry goes into grades five through nine to role-play being a "Starving Artist," where kids are told their work has been stolen and is online free. "Screwed by Record-Executive Weasels" role-playing game not forthcoming
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| (nbc-2.com) |
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News station discovers that money donated at stoplights doesn't really help the homeless -- except for homeless real-estate agents and homeless Bentley dealers
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| (SignOnSanDiego) |
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School spends $85,000 on surveillance to protect it from skateboarders
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| (FFwdWeekly) |
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Calgary Fark Party makes the news
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Astros fans go looking for Barry Bonds hotel room, bang on door and beg them to lose. Turns out they were at the wrong room
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Linkin Park can play a concert in Malaysia as long as they don't scream, jump or wear shorts
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Research shows that smart people live longer
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| (NBC10) |
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Twenty-seven of the 52 "persistently dangerous" schools in the United States are located in Philadelphia
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Man displays bras on dead tree in front of his business to protest city not replacing said dead tree (with pic)
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| (Fortune.com) |
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"Board meeting at 4; nudity required"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Chicago Mayor Daley to Sox fans: "Get a life"
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Chicago seeking ways to be rid of ravenous rabbits; needs Holy Handgrenade of Antioch
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"It is unknown how the monkey got into the legislative offices," but it is presumed he was voted in
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Cat survives for two months without food or water. "He would have had to have been one fat son-of-gun to start with," says vet
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Congress to give FTC authority to implement "do not call" list. Program expected to begin 10/1 as planned
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Man killed by truck carrying portable toilets to Dave Matthews concert
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Today's school shooting brought to you by Cleveland County, North Carolina
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Theme: Ways to get young farkers to vote. Link goes to an unlikely example
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University holds bake sale with race/gender-based prices
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| (Lincolnshire Echo) |
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Passengers swim in pool on luxury cruise liner, hair turns green
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| (Gloucestershire Echo) |
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Mickey Mouse offered place at five Brit universities
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| (India Times) |
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Study finds that real life is inappropriate for children
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A hint of common sense -- judge strips child of damages after falling off swing
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| (Planet Half-Life) |
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Half-Life 2 isn't going to ship on schedule. Water still wet, valve still sucks
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| (Moscow Times) |
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Man accidentally saws penis into six pieces
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Persons born between November 22 and December 21 to be released from the tyrannical bond of the stars as Milky Way Galaxy cannibalizes Sagittarius
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China stops broadcasting commercials for feminine hygiene products and hemorrhoid ointments during meal times
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Italian Prime Minister on why businesses should invest in Italy: "Our communists are weak and our secretaries are gorgeous"
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Whoa, man. Edit some stuff from "That 70's Show"
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In heaven, you can can look forward to eating, seeing your deceased pets and having sex. Just hopefully not all at once
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Police bust man using mobile phone while driving horse and carriage at two mph
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| (Western Daily Press) |
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London gym offers boobie aerobics
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Stone Age man disliked vegetables, ate beef, evolved into Farkers
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| (Some Guy) |
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Parker Posey is here to help with the lack of Boobies today (not safe for work)
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Police bulletproof vests breaking down in heat and humidity
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| (KTSP.com) |
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Caribou coffee manager invites female employees over to have sex with her dog
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| (Some Dashiki) |
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Dashiki at it again. Photoshop him at Natural Bridge
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| (Some Guy) |
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Audio Edit the sound of Fark link tags
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Turns out there is a video of the making of the incredibly hot Playboy Brazilian women's soccer photo shoot. Posted a while back, older Farkers will remember. Not safe for work
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Unhook 17 bras with one hand in under a minute and your place is assured in Guinness World Records
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Wind power now cheaper than coal -- 2004 models to run off talk radio
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Blast at NBC headquarters in Baghdad kills one, injures one
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Band of vicious criminals target vending machines. Net gain: 65 million yen ($580,000)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Farker J.j.'s Hurricane Isabel video footage
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| (Sleeping-Monkey) |
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The piece of crap movie Cold Creek Manor explained in 22 MS Paint slides (spoilers)
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Bobby Hull trying to recreate the old WHA because the NHL is a disaster with a corrupt union and no profit sharing
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Pair videotapes themselves making, detonating homemade bombs around town (with bomb video)
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| Wed September 24, 2003 |
| (The Age) |
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CIA preaching moderation via fake Islamic religious leaders
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Man found on fire next to swimming pool
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New e-paper could show moving images. Boobies in a book? What will they think of next?
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Rumsfeld: $87B request is affordable
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eBay thief reveals tricks of the trade. Among them: how to strategically place your weener in reflective object
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RIAA drops suit against 66-year-old woman because she says she has never used p2p software Kazaaa. She has a Mac. RIAA stiil says that they might sue later
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Liver found for 10-month old baby
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Polish euros on sale on the Internet, despite fact none have been minted
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Dog has world's largest at 12 inches (with pic)
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A Fark tradition: Photoshop the new Screaming Miss America
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Have a protective order against your husband? Invite him to your next party, hilarity will ensue
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| (Some Guy) |
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Wes Clark: "Limbaugh is full of shit"
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Theater owner pulls plug on suicide band
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Gas prices expected to drop at pump. Wait. Nevermind
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Chinese publisher revises Hillary Clinton's autobiography, translation states she ate housepets, played accordian
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Texas Senate approves new map. New Mexico now much smaller
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Alanis Morissette too drunk to remember what country she's in. Audience unimpressed
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| (MSN) |
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Letterman cabin raided by bear. After listening to an hour of rummaging, Letterman reveals, "I thought someone was making me breakfast"
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| (Inquirer) |
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HP to start another round of layoffs and talks about walruses
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Walking toward the light not recommended on train tracks
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Wannabe bomber caught wearing purple bra and thong. The Smoking Gun is there, complete with ugly-ass mugshot
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This baby needs a liver from an O+ non-living donor to survive beyond the next 48 hours. Contact information in the article if you can help
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Marooned Turkish seamen share love of cheese steaks, doughnuts and salsa dancing
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Central Park renames reservoir after Jackie Kennedy Onassis. Naming bridge after Ted Kennedy and Mary Jo Kopechne narrowly defeated
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Strange brown substance appearing on roofs overnight mystifies professionals, amateurs
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| (Newsfilter.org) |
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Kyla Cole (not safe for work)
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Police: Man found in SUV in pond was legally drunk
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Today's school shooting brought to you by Cold Spring, Minnesota
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| (Nottingham Post) |
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Picture of plant having sex wins art contest (with pic)
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Australian politician calls for parents to be licensed to have children
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Return of the walking Chinese snake-fish. This time in Wisconsin
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Museum employee enjoys taking his work home. Boss not so thrilled
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Australia the world's leader in ecstasy consumption. Apparently they're not just friendly
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| (WOI-TV) |
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Police put man in custody on escape charges. Escapes, now wanted for escaping on his escape charges
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Box of candy left by church youth group detonated by bomb squad. Pop Rocks reportedly involved
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| (National Review Online) |
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Congresscritters oppose vouchers, but happy to send own spawn to private school
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Woman can't explain theft of dildo and uniforms
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Runaway monkey still at large, cops give up
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Scientists study why nerds don't get laid very often
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Scientists using Hubble to track which stars may someday go supernova (with pic)
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Iraq delisted from Ebay, presumably for being lost or broken
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| (MSN) |
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Nearly 40 percent of nine- and 10-year-old girls are on diets to lose weight
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Top honcho for 'West Wing' bolts, new guy promises to make it less of a liberal fantasy
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Derek Jeter's new girlfriend is a "talent director" for nudie magazine
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Kid leaving counseling session has no problem obtaining deputy's gun
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New way to fight global warming and ocean pollution: Don't mow your lawn or take out any trash for 10 years. If neighbors complain, put your house for sale, ask for euros instead of dollars
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10 Wicked Wireless Devices
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Kazaa files copyright-infringement suit against entertainment industry
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Court blocks national "do not call" list. Everyone should call to complain at dinner time. Jerks
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| (Herald Sun) |
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Experts say putting ice cubes up rectums of unconscious people has no physiological benefit
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| (wcjb.com) |
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Promoter of energy drink Sum Poosie arrested for saying its name in public
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Fark Party in Cambridge, ON. Official spokesperson HPZ sez: "Oldskool style, newskool flava"
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Photoshop a giant robot doing giant-robot things. Link goes to ideas
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Woman outlives dates on her tombstone
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| (Press and Journal) |
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Kilt-wearers targetted by calf-implant inventor
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David Lee Roth (bad ticket sales) cancels his big solo tour (dinner theaters) because he hurt himself (can't sing anymore) doing martial arts (embarrassing himself) on stage
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Cops call for backup after heavy rains create bumper crop of pot
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| (des moines register) |
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Lawsuit says hotel owners should have known some customers would weigh more than 350 pounds
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California legislation sets fines up to $1 million for unsolicited e-mails
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MSN to shut chat rooms over child-sex fears
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Several American mothers' breast milk contain the same flame-retardant chemical as found in computers, television sets, automobiles, copy machines and hair dryers
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| (Western Daily Press) |
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Man cuts off penis to teach wife a lesson
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National Cattlemen's Beef Association introduces cheeseburger fries, a deep-fried mixture of ground beef, cheese and breading. Arteries surrender
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Florida's famous Weeki Wachee Mermaids to stage comeback, stay in business
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"We don't only molest on trains. We also target department-store sales, festivals and basically anywhere else where it's crowded"
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Member of parliament overseas on $22,500 taxpayer-funded "study tour," but refuses to say where he has gone or what he hopes to accomplish
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Barbra Streisand say she's bored by her own songs
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Erotic, fully nude photos of Ahhnold by controversial photographer Maplethorpe are coming (SFW)
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Fan shot outside Dodger Stadium apparently was Giants fan, not Dodgers fan
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Man arrested after customs officers find eight dangerous snakes, including four king cobras, strapped to his leg
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Kofi Annan and Gilberto Gil rockin' out
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| (Some Farker) |
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Cincinnati-area Fark party being planned. Post ideas and suggestions. Link goes nowhere special
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| (Some Guy) |
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Grab a cheap beer and AudioEdit clips from "Married With Children"
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| (via BadJocks.com) |
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Troubled Seminole QB sets up parking fund website
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| (SEVA Farker) |
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Southeastern Virginia Farkers in desperate need of Fark party. Post ideas for when/where
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FSU quarterback gets another ticket for parking in an outpatient spot at a clinic
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Rent-a-husband business in Russia taking off. Rent-a-vodka-drinking-slob not doing so well
|
| Tue September 23, 2003 |
| (McAllen Monitor) |
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Mom says Huxley's "Brave New World" could cause teen sexual arousal, and Lord knows, there ain't nothin' worser than that
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Study: "260 million porn pages exist on the Internet." Farkers everywhere: "That's it?"
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| (Jim Rome) |
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ESPN coaches poll is only slightly ridiculous
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Photoshop this pig and a bunch of pigs
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| (nfl.com) |
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Shaun Alexander helps deliver his daughter at kickoff, gets a police escort to the stadium, then rushes for 29 yards on his first 2 carries
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Student drinks hallucinogenic tea, cuts off his own tongue and penis
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Looking at porn? The boss can't just fire you (if you're Dutch)
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Bush Administration has a habit of releasing bad news on Fridays to limit press coverage
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Tai chi may prevent shingles, actual exercise
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When millionaire Robert Durst shot his neighbor, chopped him up and threw him in the bay, he was acting in self-defense
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The average Hungarian has sex 152 times a year, leading the world
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Tell your best/worst divorce story. In other news, Fox is looking for divorcees for a new reality show to compete for prizes to replace what was lost during the divorce. They're reading. Voting enabled
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Conservative who bankrolled recall now suggesting Republicans should vote against it
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British youngsters sinking in a sea of booze. Mmmmm, sea of booze
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| (Some Guy) |
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Clark/Rove phone flap actually petty Republican smear attempt
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Man and his ass arrested for using fake "donkey passport"
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Decline in number of homeruns has nothing to do with it being the first year that Major League Baseball has tested for steroids
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Vatican warns: No clapping or dancing at Mass. Getting rip roaring drunk Sunday morning still OK.
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Spacecraft of the future launches this week with a Star Trek-like propulsion system.
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Bennifer appears at Georgia courthouse for undisclosed business. Media craps pants
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| (enquirer.com) |
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The Bengals suck on the field, and the field they suck on sucks, too.
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| (WGN) |
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Attempting to prove they are more superstitious than Red Sox fans, Cubs fans bring goat to Houston. Goat not admitted
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Now that they've put the world to rights, British Parliament has nothing better to do than discuss the scheduling of quiz show "Countdown"
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"Man, I just can't get enough of that guacamole"
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Elected officials to get 11-percent pay hike
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| (Western Morning News) |
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Self-declared "weapons inspectors" caught attempting to disarm nuclear submarine
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| (The Leaf Chronicle) |
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101st Airborne opens first golf course in Iraq, has hazards not found on American courses
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| (LAF.org) |
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Farker Diabloloco is raising money for those living with, through and beyond cancer through the Lance Armstrong Foundation's Ride for the Roses (link goes to LAF)
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| (Torquay Herald Express) |
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Vandals close road by pouring oil down steep hill
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TV profanity on the rise. Hell damn fart
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Court rules that recall can go ahead in October
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In terrible blow to the arts, Tom Green show gets cancelled. Again
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Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. may be dead, but he still has a dream: To see Arnold Schwarzenegger elected governor of California
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Korea asks everyone to spell its name with a "C" so it can precede Japan in the alphabet. Chapan says go for it. China looks up sharply
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| (National Review Online) |
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Media ends love affair with Howard Dean, shacks up with Hilary Clinton's sock puppet instead
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| (Robs) |
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Christina Ricci naked in Prozac Nation (not safe for work)
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The smoldering elegance of Cindy Crawford (not safe for work)
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| (Fabio) |
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Theme: If the cover of computer books had Harlequin romance covers
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| (NBC 4) |
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Arnold Schwarzenegger having one of his Hummers overhauled to run on hydrogen
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Cocaine addicts run out of cocaine, take epilepsy drug instead and discover it works just fine with the added bonus of hallucinations
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Arctic ice shelf break up, cites creative differences
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Family files suit against school district, alleging that substitute teacher told their daughter Jesus would miraculously cure her
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| (wmtw.com) |
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Bear hunter attacked by moose. Flying squirrel may also have been involved
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Find out if your sex habits are really fetishes
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| (KLASTV) |
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Consumer Reports tests Sharper Image's Ionic Breeze air cleaner
|
| (Some Q) |
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Fark's lower left side is in need of some new Fun Games. Any ideas? Voting enabled (link goes to Q's favorite)
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World's most beautiful feet found. Apparently she ran just away with the title
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| (Lincolnshire Echo) |
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Men decide to raise cash for charity by sitting on sofa outside pub
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All nine members of NASA's safety panel resign
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Men have control of the remote 56 percent of the time. Other 44 percent spent sleeping
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| (Knoxville News Sentinel) |
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"Come to O'Charley's. At the corner of good times and hepatitis"
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Detroit Tigers set American League record with 118th loss
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Police officer demands pubic-hair sample
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Clark's going to implode faster than a dot com
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Carmen Electra and a bunch of cheerleaders, what's not to like? (not safe for work)
|
| (Some Omaha Farkers) |
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Omaha Fark party, October 11th. Link goes to time and place
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X-E reviews "Halloween is Grinch Night" -- and you thought he only menaced Christmas
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Photoshop this man walking/swimming his dog
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| (Some Guy) |
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Before "Lord of the Rings,k" Peter Jackson played with puppets. AudioEdit these clips from "Meet The Feebles"
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Israelis and Palestinians plan to scale mountain in Antarctica together, declare it belongs to them, start new war over it
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Man forbidden by court from contacting parents because he won't stop asking them for drug money
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| (hartford advocate) |
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In sure sign that all serious problems have been solved in Connecticut, ban on lap dancing to be debated
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Gordon Jump dead at 71. Les Nessman never getting those walls he wanted
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