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| Sun August 24, 2003 |
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Lollapalooza: Then and now
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France has earliest wine harvest since 1893
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Religion finally explained -- we're hard-wired for spirituality
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U.S. crime rate lowest since 1973
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Malaysian punks forced to conform
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Man whose sight was restored after 40 years of blindness had to shut his eyes when he began skiing again. Weeeeeeeee
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Amid sounds of BAM, THWAP and POW, Batman assaults random man. Bat dance not included
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Ugly-ass baby leopard with mom
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| (Some Guy) |
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NASCAR tells Jesse Jackson to stuff it
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| (Billings Gazette) |
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Author of "Fight Club" writes book about Portland, Oregon. Includes tales of a self-cleaning house, LSD, ghosts and drunken Santas
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Spammers targeting spammers in attempt to legitimize spam? I'm confused
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Convict wants cops to return dirty pics of ex-wife
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Thailand wants to ban offensive love songs. Miss opportunity to blacklist Michael Bolton
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| (Some Guy) |
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George Bush, President of the United States of America (discussion)
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What makes a suicide bomber tick?
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Booze, brawling and fun banned at Orange Bowl
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China is losing patience with North Korea
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Six-foot-tall, 13-year-old girl can drive a golf ball 300 yards (with pic)
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| (News Journal Online) |
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Ozzy and Jack go fishing with M-80's... Andy and Opie surrender
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Most honorable Doogie Howser
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Cheese is everywhere, and Americans are eating more of it than ever before
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How to fit into Klingon society, the official manual
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| (MSN) |
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LOTR: ROTK "sneak peek" pics
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Workers who can't be bothered with college complain they have to work standing up
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Clothing company sues smaller clothing company to stop it from using the number "22" on its clothing
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Confessions of a car salesman
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Angry elderly people with ice-picks seems to be problem in Yokohama
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| (pjstar.com) |
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Inmates bake bread for school children
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| (Some Farker) |
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Theme: Photoshop other Fark withdrawal symptoms. Difficulty: '80s calculator
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| (BostonHerald.com) |
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Wednesday morning, a Segway will attempt to successfully navigate the eight-mile road to the peak of Mount Washington
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| (Some Guy) |
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Cornish claim ethnic-minority status. Dustin Hoffman and Susan George surrender
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Two cops, after drinking a bit much, start "playing with knobs and switches and yelling profanities over the PA" in squad car, break windshield and dent doors
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| (cincypost.com) |
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Man gets jail time for lipping off to judge despite lawyer's desperate pleas to get him to shut up
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Radical cheerleaders
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| (TDN) |
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Neighbors want seven acres of tires cleaned up. Dump owner replies, "You just want this land for your truck stop." All-out hillbilly brawl to ensue
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| (The History Channel) |
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"Failure Is Not an Option" movie by NASA Apollo Flight Director airs Sunday on The History Channel
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| (Some Guy) |
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17 y.o. boy spent $800 making online magazine for guys
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| Sat August 23, 2003 |
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Blender names "50 worst bands ever."
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Crazy-ass Welshman goes berserk and destroys own home with crossbow. Sheep apparenty uninjured
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop Farker ROUS's drunk friend so he can surprise him
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Magician David Blaine will try to last more than six weeks without food in a box
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| (Some Guy) |
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Caption these fitness devotees
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| (govexec.com) |
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Star Wars missile defense system behind schedule -- Jar Jar questioned
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| (this is north scotland) |
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Man waiting by car that spun off road hit by second car losing control at same spot
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| (Tower Timberjay) |
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Family grows by one member during a week vacation at a resort
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Igor Farkhutdinov, governor of Sakhalin, Russia, killed in helicopter crash
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| (Billings Gazette) |
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Billings, Montana is making fitness tests for cops optional
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Improbability expert has archive of those billion-to-one coincidences
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Thirty thousand flee advancing forest fire
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Sex abuse priest Geoghan gets whacked in penal system
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| (Elk River Star News) |
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High school students cannot take school field trips on school days
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| (shard.org) |
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Sexy pin-ups with edge. Not safe for work
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Mugger flashes breasts at victim
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Drought-parched German river starts flowing upstream. Man using toliet at the time seeking therapy
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| (General Mills) |
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What, exactly, makes a ball of corn "new & improved"? (voting enabled)
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| (Venice Gondolier-Sun) |
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City-run bio experiment: What are the effects of mildew, rats, sewage and mushrooms in the living quarters of low-income renters?
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| (Anniston Star) |
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Mother gets 25 years for attempting to broil child. Titus Andronicus surrenders
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Bobby Bonds, one of the first major leaguers to blend home-run power with base-stealing speed and the father of one of baseball's greatest sluggers, died today. He was 57
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| (Orange County Weekly) |
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Goths to invade the happiest place on Earth
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop why the salmon crossed the road
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| (Holiday Inn) |
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Holiday Inn announces Towel Amnesty Day
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| (lowellsun.com) |
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Town has a ton of questions for bus driver who forgets special-needs student still in bus, leaving him in it for seven hours
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Don't bake guns
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Even British Nobel prize winner Timothy Hunt says, "Genetically modified food is not harmful." I'm still waiting for shrimp on the cob
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Thirteen passengers get frostbite on bus in 35°C weather. Mulder intrigued
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Naked woman painted like a tiger protests the circus in San Francisco's financial district. Being Frisco, no one bats an eye
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At 7:51pm Wednesday, people are advised to look straight up. People with lower IQ advised to walk outside first
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| (Smelly Pittsburgh) |
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Computer-virus expert arrested for trying to have sex with a 15-year-old girl. Told her to buy condoms. I guess he didn't want to catch a virus
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Man hits girls playing near fire hydrant, angry mob pulls him out of car, provides firm asskicking, then sets his car on fire (with pic)
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Pet crocodile causes public consternation after leaping to freedom from second-floor balcony
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ELF vandalizes dozens of SUVs with anti-American slogans far ahead of holiday season. Santa unavailable for comment
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| (Some Guy) |
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Lightning splits house in half
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop what is cropped out of view on this TV screen
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Microsoft uses Linux to protect its website
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| (Some Guy) |
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AudioEdit "Hail to the Chief"
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MovieJuice slashes through Freddy and butchers Jason: "Like Tom Green, neither Freddy nor Jason can support their own movie any more"
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California thinks of the children, will ban soda in schools
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Granny finds drawing she did 50 years ago of unknown naked art-school model Sean Connery
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| (WTHR) |
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Crack house run out of Habitat for Humanity home
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| (some girl) |
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Vote for me (Hanilee) in QFM96 virtual wet t-shirt contest (not safe for work)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Quiero una Fark festiva en Riviera Maya, Mexico, por favor? Link goes to an English version Mexican travel site. Go figure
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| Fri August 22, 2003 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Playstation 2: 18.4 million. Xbox: 5.7 million. Gamecube: 4.4 million. Inevitable flamewar: Priceless
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| (Some Dashiki) |
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Photoshop Farker Dashiki working at the Kentucky State Fair. Got milk?
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Nazis to rally in Indianapolis. Ten thousand Harley riders plan rally same day, same city. Hilarity may ensue
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Man spends $75 on junk, ends up with million-dollar artwork
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Man beats woman to death with lead pipe rather than share his Budweiser with her
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Alabama chief justice suspended after refusal to remove Ten Commandments from judicial building
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| (Missoulian) |
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If you run over someone to obtain a corpse for sex, you will be tried as an adult
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| (NewsNet5) |
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Fresh off a multi-state blackout, Cleveland man arrested for hitting golf balls into 100,000-volt substation
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Accident victim spends days waiting for help, burns vehicle to attract attention
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Third time a charm? Not for Brazilian rocket scientists
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Judge throws out Fox "fair and balanced" lawsuit
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Man chokes on hot dog while driving, passes out, drives into house
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| (F-Secure) |
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Much-vaunted Sobig.F Virus attack scheduled for 3pm today a big flop. Gobble gobble
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No water on Mars after all
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Canada may have just foiled the next 9/11. Nineteen arrested, were taking flying lessons and casing nuclear power plant
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Scientists find evidence of humans living in early, not-so-smelly version of Pittsburgh 16,000 years ago
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A week after governor of New Hampshire gets stuck in a four-mile traffic backup at the Interstate 95 toll plaza, he eliminates southbound toll
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| (WFIE) |
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When donating a couch to a church, make sure to remove your cocaine stash first
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Maxim attempts to fake a Cosmo article for convincing your girl to strip for you. Phrase "baboon in estrus" sets odds at 200-1 that it will work
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Ohio teens, attempting to get high from eating backyard plants, end up in emergency room after munching toxic seeds
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| (Amazon) |
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Amazon gives back-to-school discount on condoms
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| (Some Buddy) |
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Farker's best friend's wife tried to cheat on him with the Farker posting this -- should he tell his friend?
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| (Some Guy) |
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It's football time again. AudioEdit your own stadium anthem
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| (Some Guy) |
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Wesley Willis dead. Rock over London, rock on Chicago: Pepsi. Uh huh
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British immigration refuses entry to group after failing Beatles quiz
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Man with high cholesterol celebrates 65th birthday by eating a burger in each of Kansas' 105 counties
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| (stltoday.com) |
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Inmate's bolt for freedom comes to halt after running face first into concrete wall (fourth story down)
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One in 17 emails contains Sobig F virus
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| (Orlando Sentinel) |
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Hotel mistakenly gives drunk man key to 31-year-old woman's room at 1:30 AM
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Danish man recalls date with Mary Carey, not happy at all
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Computers infected with SoBig virus expected to start downloading rogue program at 3pm EST
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| (The Carolina Channel) |
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Crossdresser robs bank. Exploding die pack does not match purse
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She's been beheaded twice, had her arm amputated and keeps getting paint poured over her. Despite this, she turns 90 today
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Bad: Spilling fuel on clothes after overfilling gas tank. Worse: Deciding to express anger by lighting fuel on fire
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Friday timewaster: Updated Awesome Cross 98. Still impossible, but with more than one level, and more obtainables.
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| (ksfy.com) |
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Local TV station's attempt to talk with GMA's Charlie Gibson interrupted when drunk steals satellite truck (w/photos)
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| (Amazon) |
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The Anna Kournakova sports bra - because only the tennis ball should bounce (with pics) (safe for work probably)
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Soldiers nobody heard were captured are safe
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Maybe not as newsworthy as stronger post-its or the Wilhelm Scream, but the leader of Hamas was blown to kingdom come yesterday
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AskMen's top 99 most desirable women: #25 through #21 (safe for work)
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Performer shot in head by crossbow during act in front of 500 fans. The good news: Half-price cotton candy
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If you buy old barrels for the intent of recycling them, be sure that not filled with WWII mustard gas
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Crow 2.0: Real bullets used in movie's prop gun. Film's producer and props manager disappeared after the incident
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| (walb.com) |
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Teens caught in sex act in swinging chair outside front entrance of Wal-mart
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"Big, Flabby Buttocks" inexplicably banned from Thai radio-station playlists
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Marching-band members from top party college cited for drinking after attending alcohol awareness class
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The secret language of doctors. UBI ("Unexplained Beer Injury"), PAFO ("Pissed and Fell Over")
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Jagger sick with flu-like symptoms after playing at SARS-stock
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Iowa man makes threatening telephone call to woman that Kobe Bryant has been charged with sexually assaulting. The Smoking Gun is there
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop an animal memorial. Link goes to example
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Czech Republic leads world in beer consumption, closely followed by the Irish. British tally brought down by southern softies switching to wine
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New Post-its with kung-fu grip grab everything better -- especially strippers
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Pooping elderly Catholics cause beaches to close in Cape May
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Family of slain man plans to sue police for not finding body
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Feinstein says Arnold's movies glorify violence. Says nothing about her office glorifying idiocy
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Man found alive after seven hours in morgue drawer
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| (Some Japanese Farker) |
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Following the recent spate of U.S. Fark parties, what about a Tokyo party for the JP farkers? TokenFemale will organise, leave comments in... err.. comments section. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu
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| (MEMRI) |
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Egyptians sue Jewish people for stealing gold from them during Exodus
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Not to be outdone by California, Minnesota considers recall of governor
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| (McDonalds Canada) |
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Attention Canadian Farkers: today is McDonald's hamburger promotion. Buy one, get one free. Support Canadian beef, eat a burger or ten
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First European mission to the moon scheduled for October
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| (San Diego Union Tribune) |
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Freeway suicide standoff: People stuck in traffic nightmare shout to cops "kill him already, we're late for dinner"
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Liechtenstein to become hereditary despotic monarchy -- nobody notices
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Wil Wheaton to co-host TechTV's The Screen Savers on Friday, Aug. 22
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| (Bargaintuan) |
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Farker Bargaintuan starts experiment to see if he can gross more money than Gigli
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| (Duluth News Tribune) |
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New studies show that there are no rises in birth rates nine months after power outages
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"Animal House" cast reunites in parade
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| (ConEd) |
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Attention ConEd customers: If your food spoiled during the blackout, you may be entitled to reimbursement up to $350
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| (tonybleak.com) |
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Tucson Fark Party -- anybody interested? Will coordinate
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| (Some Hellvis) |
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September 5th Phoenix, AZ Fark party location announced -- George & Dragon on Central (6:00pm)
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| (Don's Guns) |
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Photoshop Don from Don's Guns
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Scientists prove that humans are no smarter than dogs
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| (Helena Independent Record) |
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Postal chief accused of misconduct after holding eight-hour, mind-numbing working lunches
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| Thu August 21, 2003 |
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Japan ready to market "robot suit" that helps elderly, disabled walk -- or tip over putting it on (w/pic)
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| (Chieftain) |
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Atomic ducks dive for treasure
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| (Some Ex-Prison Guard) |
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Prison guard sentenced to 15 months of scrubbing toilets for urinating on prisoners
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Venezuelan woman demands refugee status in Canada because she is overweight
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Police put wrong man in jail over 33-year-old warrant with different name
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Sheep escapes being prop in bible-school production; gets struck by lightning
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| (Daily Kansan) |
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Student paper offers helpful advice to freshman about their first one-night stand
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| (NBC4) |
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Study: High altitudes may make obese people sick, hungry
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this angry Royals player
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The "Master of International Bombing Business" writes up a financial profit/loss record and blockbuster movie plans for WTC attacks
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Two 14-year-old kids found naked in bed, both charged with sexual assault... on each other
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| (wpvi) |
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Soldier's mom sends over 400 A/C units to Iraq; U.S. Postal Service tells her to "cool it"
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State officials getting death threats over upcoming execution of murderer
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Due to the sheer amount of rifles and pick-up trucks, West Virginia law officers have no chance of finding the sniper
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Star Wars Kid strikes back. Farkers wonder why this is still in the news
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Car thieves prefer stealing expensive, loaded SUVs
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Atlanta now overrun with American Idol rejects' cliches
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Weapons inspector who said "I'll probably be found dead in the woods" if Iraq was invaded found dead in the woods
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| (click 10) |
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Man arrested for driving drunk on lawn mower
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| (wkyc) |
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Flashing your headlights to warn other drivers of police presence may get you a ticket
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7.1 quake hits New Zealand. Sheep terrified
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U.S. goverment finally removes Nelson Mandela from terrorist list
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Cheap parents the world over steal office supplies to supplement their child's back-to-school stuff
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| (Carolina Channel) |
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You're driving across a bridge. What's the last thing you expect to hit your car?
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The Office of Homeland Security names employee of the month: Crazy Joe
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| (Some Guy) |
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Larry King to run in today's fifth race at Saratoga. Hopes to be put to stud shortly after
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| (Syracuse New Times) |
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Criminals now going in for brain surgery to remove their bad ideas
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| (Ukiah Daily Journal) |
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Cops arrest naked man who couldn't remember where he left his pants
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| (Abilene Reporter News) |
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Ugly-ass baby leaf-mimic gecko born at Abilene zoo. Makes history by being first second-generation captive ugly-ass leaf mimic gecko born (with pic)
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| (ButtMonkeyBeer.com) |
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Butt Monkey Beer, the official beer of California recall as proclaimed by candidates
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United Airlines customers responding to special offer get jerked around by operators
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Twenty thousand men show up to apply for spot on Lapdance Island
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Resume expert says don't try to pad your resume with "ran for Governor of California"
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France bans dwarf tossing. UN upholds decision
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| (News Gleaner) |
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Nail salon discovered to be front for hardcore S&M parlor. Cop on how they managed to operate so long: "Beats me"
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"Bootylicious" added to the Oxford English dictionary, among other things
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High-ranking South African politician, being sued for sexual harassment, testifies in court about dream in which he flew on a surfboard over a crowd of drag queens and naked women
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| (Some Guy) |
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Henry's revenge: You photoshopped Henry at Genesplicer's request, now Henry wants you to photoshop Genesplicer for his birthday
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Old Spice sponsors "Armpit of America" festival. Attendance low due to assumption it would be in Detroit
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| (findsounds.com) |
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AudioEdit theme: The sound of money
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Itch me baby one more time: Britney scratches her arse, The Sun is there with a camera
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| (Motorolla) |
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AudioEdit the bass line from Floyd's "Money." Presented here in glorious ringtone form. Also, feel free to AudioEdit the real song if you have it
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| (Voyeurweb) |
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When in Rome... uhh, get nekkid? (not safe for work)
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Cops bust Chinese test-taking ring
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Ex-cop caught humping several pigs
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| (NPR) |
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The history of the Wilhelm Scream
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| (Hindustan Times) |
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Injured monkey hitchhikes to hospital
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Teacher busted working as hooker during summer break
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Dead teammates, lying coaches -- NCAA surprises all, will allow Baylor players to transfer without penalties
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Afraid for their lives after recent headshots, Wal-Mart pulls violent video games from WV shelves
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| (Ireland Online) |
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Billy Connolly gets his frank and beans stuck in his zipper while on plane
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Ramen noodle execs being sent to survival camp
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| (WB) |
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Matrix Revolutions trailer released
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| (E Online) |
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Britney Spears caught making out with another girl. Bonus points for acually being able to read the whole page without wanting to stab your eye out
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Woman's mobile phone bursts into flame
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Al Sharpton rips off travel agency for almost $200,000
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Vision of saint in toilet bowl prevents woman from commiting suicide
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U.S. troops capture Chemical Ali, will not get to fight Randy Machoman Savage
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Fired Washington coach Rick Neuheisel takes new job as assistant coach for high school football team
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Childrens book paid for by GlaxoSmithKline amazingly promotes anti-allergy medicines produced by GlaxoSmithKline
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Craig David dumped over Bouncy Knowles obession
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| (Herald Sun) |
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Student sues university who rescinded acceptance. Dropping from 3.8 to 1.3 GPA not recommended as senior-year activity
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Jesus' crime spree continues. Conspirators arrested
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| (seattlepi) |
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Seattle ponders tax on coffee
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Computers will help ignorant, lazy asses vote in elections
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| (box office mojo) |
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"Gigli" drops to 63rd place in its third weekend at box office. IMAX movie playing in just three theaters makes more money
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| (bizreport.com) |
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Microsoft mulls automatic patches for retarded home users
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Boston Fark Party: 9/27, 7:00PM. For the love of all that is holy and good, take the T
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Drug defendant bolts during sentencing, makes court deputies look like O-line of the Cowboys
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| Wed August 20, 2003 |
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Deep sea dildo to revolutionize telecommunications
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Seattle residents ready for monorail after lively Lyle Lanley lead musical number
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Man goes to doctor for ear ache, gets vasectomy. "He thought it was an ear inflammation that got down to his testicles"
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| (Bloomberg) |
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Don Johnson to sue German ministry that pulled him over and found the $8 billion he had in car
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102-year-old man seeking wife #3. Comes with lifetime supply of Levitra
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Gas prices in Phoenix up to $3.89/gallon
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American Idol hopefuls all believe they're unique and different
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| (Rocky Mountain Telegram) |
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Photoshop an ad for either the Texas Democrats or Texas Republicans for the next election. Link goes to yet another Texas legislature story
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Finally, a cure for leaking urine when you laugh, cough, sneeze or jump on a trampoline
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Enron demands people who owe it money pay in full
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Watson urges hot-balls action
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One man and his army of 106-foot-tall robots control all the liquor in Utah
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| (nbc4.tv) |
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Bachelor alert: Microwaved hot dog catches house on fire
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SpamAssassin unveils new HomeAssassin to take care of unwanted visitors
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| (Business Week) |
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Playboy survives its midlife crisis
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If you swim with shark food, expect to become shark food
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Kentucky professor developing the transdermal marijuana patch
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Tampa scraps its face-recognition system after it fails to spot any fugitives in two years
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Cars stop on I-80, scramble for blizzard of cash
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Magician David Blaine to be suspended over the River Thames for six weeks without food
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| (Tech World) |
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Microsoft releases Office 2003, now with more crap no one will ever use
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| (www.bostonherald.com) |
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Family who pimped out their daughter shocked by media's audacity to look into their financial situation
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| (9News.com) |
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Denver's mayor never would have had convicted minister on transition team if they had taken five seconds to run his name through Google
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Webster now getting into politics
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The reason snooze buttons only last nine minutes
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Marketers of Billy the Big Mouth Bass could not keep up with insatiable public demand for crap
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Red Sox's annual collapse officially underway
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The Detroit Tigers are one more loss away from being mathematically eliminated from the playoffs
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Aboriginal consultants receiving $300 a day to watch a bulldozer
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District attorney rules that topless dancer's boobies leaked, not squirted
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Erik Estrada would like to be paid for a job he wasn't hired for
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| (arbizu.org) |
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AudioEdit these clips from Star Wars
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| (Washington Times) |
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Moon colony "within 20 years." Brought to you by the people who couldn't keep your lights on last weekend
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Taiwan may have semiconductor fabs, but there's nothing silicon(e) in these. Hsu Chi: Not safe for work
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this political rally
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Researchers determine that heart attacks result from unhealthy lifestyle. Still no cure for cancer
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FCC to allow AOL to stream porn on its Instant Messenger
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The Indianapolis Colts signed a player out of a flea market
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AskMen's top 99 most desirable women: #35 through #31 (safe for work)
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Director of Chinese psychiatric hospital arrested for drugging female patients and selling them off as wives
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| (Firehouse) |
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Worst way to accidentally kill someone in a fire: Start it with your smoldering crackpipe
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| (stltoday.com) |
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Leaping penguins clear plexiglas barrier, strike zoo patrons. "We designed the exhibit to be fairly interactive," curator says
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Girl faces jail for baring breasts (and nice breasts they are too) (safe for work)
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Kangaroo mistaken for giant beaver. Austrain police ask 911 caller to check into detox
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FDA okays new erection drug that is much more effective than Viagra
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Man who mooned jury gets 20 years in prison
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| (The Olympian) |
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Bored teens with money to burn are more likely to take drugs. Who knew?
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MusicNow and BMG have launched the music industry's first all-Elvis Presley digital music channel. Every hundredth customer wins an all-expenses-paid, short-lived marriage to Lisa Marie Presley
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Ten-ton whales have right of way
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Hassidic Jew claims electronic bracelet violates his religion. Fraud apparently permissable
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Scottish pub ejects visiting bagpiper after "a few tunes"
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| (WTOS-FM.com) |
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The Red Hot Chili Peppers' new album delayed because dogs don't like Anthony Kiedis
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Your pet Fluffy may still be peeing on your carpet from the great beyond.
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Hoosiers again triumph over doofuses that want to mandate Daylight Saving Time
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Space aliens caused blackout by mind melding with power plants to get fuel for galaxy-hopping whatchamacallits
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City traffic agents were too busy writing tickets to direct traffic during NYC blackout
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More on the Sobig.F virus
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Mystic Meg hits back at astrology doubters
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Two "100 year storms" have hit Vegas in last four years. Next storm is still 25-1 underdog
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| (Greenville Online) |
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Pizza Hut offering free "racial slur" on your receipt with order of pizza and cheese sticks. Limited time only
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Is he protesting or cheering?
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Officials to begin crackdown on harassment via the Internet, you goofy-looking schmuck
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Driver accidentally shoots self, dies
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Multicolored greenbacks coming in October
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| (australiagift.com) |
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Wren livers... Ocelot spleens... Jaguar earlobes... Kangaroo scrotums...
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First baby born from sperm bought over the Internet
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| (nbc4.tv) |
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Magic Johnson sells his stake in Fatburger due to "difference of opinion regarding the strategic direction of the company." Strategic? They make the burger, then sell the burger and sometimes add fries
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| (Some Pirate) |
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P2P music swapping may be perfectly legal in Canada
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Kitty takes seven-year vacation, returns unharmed
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| (Moscow Times) |
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As Russians get richer, they drink more beer and less vodka
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| (Unconventional) |
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SWAT hand signals. Obvious finger excluded
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Libertarian politician, not to be suppressed by stop sign, kills Minnesota biker with his Cadillac
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It appears RI nightclub owners, Great White's tour manager will take the fall for fatal fire that killed 100 -- and band won't
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Porn-star candidate puts "sleeping way to the top" plan in motion
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Man visiting acquaintances shows appreciation for their hopsitality by molesting family dog
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FDA drops warnings from products containing olestra, saying they don't give a crap
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| (VOA news) |
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Foreign journalists don't understand California recall. In other news, Americans don't understand California recall
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| (SARC) |
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Sobig.F: Link goes to Symantec's free virus removal tool for this latest pain in the ass
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| Tue August 19, 2003 |
| (wcco.com) |
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University of Minnesota professor proves swimmers don't slow down in substance twice as thick as water
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| (Some Guy) |
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Create a clever Rorschach (ink blot) test
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| (Las Vegas Sun) |
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Over two inches of rain falls in Vegas in 20 minutes, trapping motorists and even firefighters out to rescue others
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Fake obituary for music teacher's wife slips into weekly New Hampshire paper
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| (Some Guy) |
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What message would you put on this sign using the letters that are already there?
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| (Newsfilter.org) |
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Kaila Yu (not safe for work)
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Studios blame cell-phone text messaging for movies tanking
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RIAA won't sue small-time illegal music downloaders
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Noel Edmonds admits being partly to blame for slumps in TV standards
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Chinese airline forks over $282,000 to get lucky phone number
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Despite being dead, Tupac schedules release of 7th posthumous album
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China is deploying eagles to control giant gerbils. Richard Gere consulted
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French man drives for an hour with man embedded in windshield, surrenders
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| (Fort Wayne.com) |
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Unpatched computers at Lockheed get hit with worm. Lockheed say, "The one this week is a very clever virus"
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| (nbc6) |
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Priests want celibacy to be optional -- for those that still are, anyways
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Three out of four Americans are A-OK with fatal shuttle missions
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Congress has decided to enter the debate over college football's Bowl Championship Series
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| (Keys News) |
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Man, in fetal position and hugging half-gallon bottle of vodka, busted for open container. Tells cops the bottle isn't his (2nd story)
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Problem: 23 people in 10 years have died because of "defective" power windows. Solution: Require auto industry to parent children
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| (The Oregonian) |
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If you're a cop, don't roll down the windows if your prisoner says he's hot
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Kelly Ripa's thoughts on Canada: "It's like being in a different country"
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Updated list of 55 most-wanted Iraqis and their status
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What do you do if you trash your parents house while partying? Blame it on imaginary burglars
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Suicide bomber on Israeli bus kills at least three
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Global warming caused in part by women's hot flashes
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Psychotic killer wins lawsuit against hospital that accidentally let him back into society
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Manufacturers change top reading on scales to handle increasing number of obese people
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Yahoo most popular photo of the day (not safe for work)
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German and Norwegian men complain about demands for constant sex
|
| (Some Farkette) |
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Photoshop this Farkette's puppy for her birthday
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Man wards off bear with judo
|
| (Some Guy) |
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AudioEdit the theme from "Jeopardy"
|
| (daily times) |
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Blonde jokes to become illegal in Bosnia
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FBI team investigating West Virgina sniper shootings say suspect is angry, fat, white man in pickup truck. Entire male population of West Virgina being questioned
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Momma said never to run with scissors, or fish with your mouth open
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Child-care centre won't let children pretend to be superheroes
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"Beverly Hillbillies" casino in works. Highlights include: A 200-foot-tall, flame-belching oil derrick, "Granny's Shotgun Wedding Chapel'' and "Elly May's Buns Bakery"
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Eight traits of a real man, Mafia style
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Scary clowns board bus, put on quick show, then rob everyone on board
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Police provide free wedding photos for psycho bride
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Naked man arrested for seeking a shower in a car wash
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Reclassifying Raymond James Stadium as a condominium will save Tampa taxpayers millions
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Packages at Charles Schwab home and office not bombs, are actually from Adam & Eve catalog
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Truck bomb explodes outside UN headquarters in Iraq. People actually surprised
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Multiple shootings at Ohio auto-parts plant. Detail sketchy
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Phish bassist arrested after being found in secluded area with nine-year-old girl
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Vintage pin-up Juli Williams shows off the art of nude martini-shaking (not safe for work)
|
| (Some Franken Fan) |
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Photoshop a new cover for Al Franken's latest book. Link goes to the original
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Scientists prove that astrology is crap
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Japan cuts down forest to make way for the 2005 Aichi World Expo. This year's theme is "wisdom of nature"
|
| (miami.com) |
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Kmart executive wants $1.5 million in severance -- he worked there for eight months
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Tasmanian tigers apparently not as extinct as first thought
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Everything you ever wanted to know about Slimer's foray into the fruit juice world, Hi-C's "Ecto Cooler"...
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop the mayor of Erie, PA "sharing a moment" with a member of his staff
|
| (Clarion-Ledger) |
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Tobacco lawyer donates $80K to judge's election campaign. Says it was never intended to influence court decisions. Lawyer managed to keep straight face during interview
|
| Mon August 18, 2003 |
| (Some Guy) |
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From the people who brought you welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com, a tribute to Arnold
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Problem: You're a murderous psychopath who likes killing prostitutes and can't get any respect. Solution: Move to Iran and become a national hero
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You'll never guess where utility companies plan to come up with the $50 billion needed to improve the electrical grid
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Jon's Stripper Party goes horribly wrong, with pictures. Not safe for work
|
| (NBC5) |
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Jockey, who played a jockey in Seabiscuit who died falling from his horse in a race, gets seriously injured falling from his horse in a race
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| |
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The hidden dangers of Microsoft Word
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Cute Romanian gymnast Corina Ungureanu (not safe for work)
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Burglar mistakes bacon in jar for human head, tips off police. Hilarity ensues
|
| (9news.com) |
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University of Colorado ranked #1 party school. "The typical CU student smokes a lot of marijuana and drinks a lot of beer and hard liquor. They also don't study very often." What were they expecting?
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Billions in military research equips soldiers with 250-year-old axe design
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Body-lice study finds humans developed clothing 70,000 years ago
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop Farker KGBsuperspy in his slick baseball uniform
|
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Spanish mugger asks victims to spit at him
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First class-action lawsuit filed against FirstEnergy for causing the blackout. Johnnie Cochran's pager explodes
|
| (EHOWA) |
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Good ol Ernie is having his Best Breasts contest again. Not safe for work
|
| (Build-A-Bear Workshop) |
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Farker Spin_Doc is going to propose this Saturday. Teddy bear with sound chip will hold the ring. What should he record on the sound chip? Approx. 10 secs max
|
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Thief apprehended in Segway Sting
|
| (SWEP) |
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Landlord keep his spirits high as his dog sets fire to his bar. Bad dog, no steak for you
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German brothel has no prostitutes. "One guy turned up with his wife and said I could do anything with her for six months"
|
| (Sound America) |
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Create a campaign slogan for Arnold with these T2 wav's (chop _2 from URL to get T1 wav's also)
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Ex-con defends self in court and wins. Twice. Goes for the three-peat tomorrow
|
| (gomemphis.com) |
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Woman claims the surprise of seeing goats at her business is keeping out the burglars
|
| (WorldNetDaily) |
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Al-Qaida claims responsibility for Thurday's blackout
|
| |
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"Fair and Balanced" reporting claims Northeastern outage could've been sabotage. Maybe a l33t hax0r, or Al-Qaeda, or the big-nutted squirrel
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