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| Sun August 10, 2003 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop a new campaign poster for any president or prime minister, living or dead (Link goes to inspiration)
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Atlanta Braves' shortstop Rafael Furcal turns only the 12th unassisted triple play in baseball history
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| (HoustonChronicle.com) |
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Tow-truck driving business has outgrown getting in wrecks/illegal parking business, in some cases by 25 to 1
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Car accidentally leaps from roof of parking garage, lands on building across street
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| (Some Guy) |
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Why the USA was spared David Hasselhoff's "singing" career
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Kama Sutra puts sex workers in a better position for those who refuse condoms
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29th Annual Beer Can Regatta sets sail. One for the boat, two for the captain
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| (Honolulu Advertiser) |
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For it has been foretold in the ancient scripts...
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Bay Area women have three to 10 times more flame retardant in their boobies than European or Japanese women
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| (14wfie.com) |
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Indiana town gives up effort to shut down BBQ restaurant that features strippers
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| (Crazed Football Fan) |
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NFL.com is charging $15 bucks to play fantasy football this year. Where are the good free leagues?
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| (Some Woman) |
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Wet and wild. Not work safe
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| (Tampa Tribune) |
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Online giants get ready to rumble
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| (bangornews.com) |
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Woman calls police to report that the cows were "attacking" her car
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| (Tampa Tribune) |
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Krav maga, the latest aerobics/self-defense combo workout, features all the dirty tricks you can think of. Bobby Hill feels vindicated
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| (Billings Gazette) |
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Many economists did not think this jobless recovery would last so long
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| (STL Today) |
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Amish laugh at town without power
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Are you there, God? It's me, Europe
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| (Some Bloody Tourist) |
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Farker Glasgowsfinest off on his annual outing to Amsterdam on Tuesday. Anyone want to meet up? I'm Scottish, so I'm not paying
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Teens use stun gun on the local homeless. Get busted outside of justice center
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Gigli is the worst-rated movie of all time on IMDB
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Ten years ago, the average bra size was 34B. Today, it is 36C, with an estimated 40 percent of women taking a D cup or above. Kittens surrender
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| (SignOnSanDiego) |
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Father Guido Sarducci is also running for California governor. SNL fans rejoice
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Bananas swiped from elderly shop owner by man in gorilla costume. Old woman freaks out
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Actor, dancer Gregory Hines dies of cancer at 57
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Having failed to crack the U.S. teen music market, Latin superstar focuses on K-Mart shoppers
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Fans abuzz as six-legged cockroach champion exterminates competition
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| (CompuServe) |
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Degrees in Basket Weaving can give you lung cancer
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| (WNBC) |
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Dancing marine brandishes gun, forgets that he's in New Jersey and not Iraq
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| (The Sideboard) |
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Watch geeks battle it out: Magic The Gathering World Championships live webcast
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Jamaicans have a bone to pick with how new statue is hung
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Photoshop the Puerto Rico volleyball mascot
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Afghani female rock band makes waves in Germany. Keep on rocking in the free world
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Producers prepared to make Terminator 4 without Arnold. T4 prepared to suck
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| (Some Guy) |
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Lightning and Jesus mix it up in West Virginia
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| (Some Ball Challenged Guy) |
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Neuticles, now with two firmness levels
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Ten-year-old boy narrowly avoids being struck by meteor in own driveway
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900,000 people show up for rave in Zurich. With pics of "scantily clad ravers" (SFW)
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| (Orlando Sentinel) |
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Fishing for lightning
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| (Bay News 9) |
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Safeball may just save your life
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George Clooney says he doesn't give a rat's ass about the way he looks. Dude, George, can I have the stuff your smoking these days?
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| (MSN) |
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Top 10 high school movies... OF ALL TIME
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I'm too sexy for my hijab
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School children's favourite word is "cool." Cool? Whatever
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| (Some Guy) |
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Genetically engineer two foods together for an unlikely combination. Link goes to blueberry burgers
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Director of chamber of commerce points gun at cops during car chase. Fatality ensues
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| Sat August 09, 2003 |
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Models show off the latest look for ancient Vikings (pic)
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Ten year old charged with setting school gym on fire. Could get five years in the joint
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| (www.rubiks.com) |
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Play Rubik's Cube online in flash
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| (Some Guy) |
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Amish home saved by technology they shun
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Ohio State Fair features world's largest bag of potato chips at 1082.5 pounds
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No winners in Italian lottery for the 44th consecutive drawing.
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| (The One Ring.net) |
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Just when you were sure the California gubernatorial race couldn't get any better...
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Tourists find chained body on Florida beach
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| (business.boston.com) |
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Judges joins MIT's FU to the RIAA
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Today I am mostly sculpting Kylie's bum... in ice. "Its hazardous work," says sculptor
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| (Some Guy) |
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Japanese team to search for Abominable Snowman
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| (Some drunk farker) |
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Farker acurus is going to Dublin, Ireland next month. Any in-the-know farkers have any suggestions for the itinerary? Guinness and whiskey: Motion seconded and motion carried
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| (Some Pinball Wizard) |
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Finally, a pinball game that looks like a Timex watch and sounds like a submarine
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| (Grand Island Independent) |
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Judge rules that a man did not violate his parole after eating a beer burrito, but warns him about violating air-quality laws in the future
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First-class passenger sentenced for sharing food with coach-class passenger
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Calculator and cell phone stop bullet, save life
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2003 Texas football media guide weighs five pounds
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Take pity on me and buy this half of my car CD player, if you would like the rest please contact your local car thief...
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French rock star accused of beating girlfriend to death in Lithuania. That's right, French rock star
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Smelly blob takes over NJ town even though residents voted for Kodos. Experts study it with scientifical test: They poke at it
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Coca-Cola files lawsuit over a recall in Japan caused by use of an unapproved flavor
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You can ward off Alzheimer's by... uh, by.... you can, um. Alzheimer's. By uh ...
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| (Minot Daily News) |
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Equine massage therapist or front for very odd prostitution ring? You decide
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Ueberroth announces California recall bid, making it now officially easier to list people not running: Pat Sajek, Ronald Reagan. That is all
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Woman is sentenced after her husband told her to breastfeed, talk on her cell and drive at the same time
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| (Some Guy) |
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Cyber Mice Party, the game. Guide your mice through various obstacles and traps. Very stupid, yet addicting, flash game
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Shortage of monkeys slowing medical research
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In 1995 the All Blacks poisoned themselves with an unauthorized late-night prawn party. Suzie's everywhere feel vindicated
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Connecticut lottery officials investigating why two balls failed to drop during drawing. Cold water likely to blame
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Government council urges older women to become lesbians
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"Bruce Almighty" finally gets Malaysia's nod
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New mail shapes start Monday. Porn industry snaps to attention
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| (Some Vegas Guy) |
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Today is the Fark meetup in Las Vegas. Meet at 6pm at the TGIF on Sahara Avenue, near Decatur Blvd (next to the WOW store). I vote that we go to the Doubledown Saloon afterwards
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Seeking to drive his approval rating into negative numbers, Governor Davis drives 94 mph down "Blood Alley" being chased by CHP
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Fresh out of prison for murder, man stabs his twin brother in argument over a Mars Bar
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"Pigs of God" contest condemned by animal welfare groups. "Cows of Satan" applaud
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Soaring temperatures have claimed the lives of 30,000 eels in Europe's busiest waterway, the Rhine river
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| (ElkhartTruth.com) |
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Nimrod steals gumball machine. Stupidity ensues
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| (14wfie.com) |
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Help name the Evansville Zoo's two new otters
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The death of the original video games
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U.S. admits to using improved version of napalm. Still smells great in the morning
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| (Salt Lake City Weekly) |
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Sex, wine, pyramids and impregnating several fully-clothed women at once
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| (Click10.com) |
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Tornado goes through Palm Beach county, retirees flee in terror
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| (twincities.com) |
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How to pick up a hooker
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Man, in prison for drugs, gets released for about five minutes -- friends brought him drugs when they picked him up from jail
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Spain running out of ice
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| (Some Guy) |
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Pilot, 78, cuts off another plane trying to land, takes off, has engine trouble, crashes into garbage truck on highway, then wanders over to farmer's market
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Vibrating shaver sparks terror alert in Malaysia. As close as a bomb, or your money back
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop other wonders of powering your outdoor advertisements with Windows
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| (Some Guy) |
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Petra's pretty pretty in pink (not safe for work)
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Supreme Court scolds law firm for commercials suggesting insurance companies would settle claims merely because the claimants are represented by them
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| (Charleston.net) |
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Confederate time was 26 minutes slower than Union time
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| (WOWT) |
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Court rules that Ford Motor Co. and Firestone Inc. cannot be held liable in the death of a 19-year-old woman who was murdered while trying to change a flat tire
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| (SGVTribune) |
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Lesser-known wackos are running for CA governor: A sumo wrestler, poet and substitute teacher (and that's just one guy)
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| Fri August 08, 2003 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop Seabiscuit
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Answers to common questions about West Nile
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Federal judge says police should not participate in high-speed chases; criminals are hereby requested to observe the posted speed limits during the commission of all crimes
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Yemeni beggar exposed as a fraud after cell phone starts ringing
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Japanese ponder going nuclear
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It's true that asshats send out millions of emails a day, but you'd be surprised who actually makes the most money from spam
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| (Billings Gazette) |
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Hilarious failed macaw burglary; macaw ends up in washing machine
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Friday afternoon fun. Theme: Making fun of the personals ads. Questions: What was the worst lie you've ever told? What celebrity do you most resemble? What things can't you live without? Feel free to make up new questions, voting enabled
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NY man decides he doesn't want to pay $916.50 cab fare
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Is that a rare turtle in your pants or are you just glad to see me?
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SF cop cleared in tangled chicken incident
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"Wil Wheaton's turn as the hardened son of a Mafioso might be the most amazing casting misfire in Hollywood history. Has to be seen to be believed. It's like somebody lost a bet"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Kentucky man takes garbage truck at gunpoint
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Local councillor resigns after photos of himself wearing a suspender belt, tights and no underwear surface
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Bengal tiger escapes from cage at zoo, returns to cage after being scared by tourists
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Understading the female orgasm. Next week: Understanding Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny
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| (Perlguy) |
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Scared Farker's SCO License Purchase page
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Guy who had entire home stolen given new stealable home
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"Flash mob" storms London, pays respects to sofa, disperses. Ottoman overlooked
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| (Some Guy) |
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Farker el_hueso locked down in mall while cops look for armed robber. Right now
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Attorney for Jayson "The Rifleman" Williams say gun that killed limo driver magically fired all by itself
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Pentagon plans to take out North Korea in 30 to 60 days
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Emmitt Smith prepares for this weekend's game against the Cowboys by describing his last season with them: 'It felt like being a diamond surrounded by trash"
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Photoshop Colin Farrell with a surfboard
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| (Burlington Free Press) |
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"Weed Road" sign repeatedly stolen
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Barracuda jumps into boat and bites fisherman in attempt to save caught-barracuda buddy. Dinner is served
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FBI says 9/11 hijackers crashed Flight 93 on their own
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Woman who breast-fed her child while driving gets off
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SA vs. SPEWS battle gaining momentum, picked up by The Register, UK
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Source of New Jersey's hallmark rotten-egg smell finally located
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Couple notices honey dripping down the walls of their home after buying new house from beekeeper (with pics)
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Seven asteroids to be named after the fallen Columbia crew. In other news, hemmoroids to be named after California gubernatorial candidates
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Cops pretend to have illegal checkpoint set up for busting people with narcotics. Instead, bust people for illegal U-turns and get their drugs
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German brewers forced to reassure citizenry no imminent danger of beer running out
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Who has the best pizza in the U.S.?
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Firefighters admit defeat in battle against cat-sized rats
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Special-edition DVDs sucker fans into buying up to 4 DVDs of the same movie
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Galactic cannibalism: Your galaxy wants steak
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| (Washington Times) |
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Economy is still doing well. Wal-Mart has best sales in over a year. Must be the Pentagon buying all those Abrams tanks and not the $400 tax cut
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Powerball winner was drugged at strip club; still a dumbass for leaving huge amounts of cash in idling car
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Goat-jogging trend sweeping the nation
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Photoshop Tom Ridge and the tiny thing he is crushing
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Something Awful steps up its anti-SPEWS campaign
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Man sends ancient human skull to mayor of Honolulu
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| (Some Farker) |
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Tonight's the big Indianapolis Fark Party -- be there or be a Hoosier
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The average American will drive 36 miles out of the way for food
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Is it okay for her to break a date?
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| (Scientific American) |
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2000-year-old mystery solved. Oracle of Delphi issued prophecies while higher than Cheech & Chong
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Mathematician says he can forecast whether a couple will stay together using algebra
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Tasmanian conservationists are urging people to tolerate aggressive masked-lapwing humping
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| (Bozeman Daily Chronicle) |
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The brown water coming out of Bozeman, Montana taps is safe to drink
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When you buy vehicles seized from drug dealers, sometimes they miss drugs hidden in the vehicle. That is bad if you take the vehicle to Mexico
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Homeless man dying on deserted farm rescued after sheepdog takes hastily-scribbled message in bottle to master; wants steak
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop an unlikely kitchen appliance. Link goes to an example of a weird-looking juice maker
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Record temperatures in Britain result in major boobiefest (not safe for work)
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Stripper spills the beans about night with Ben Affleck
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| (theage.com) |
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Study: "Six Degrees Of Separation: theory applies to every single person on the Internet
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New media ownership rules may lead to more indecency on radio and TV
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| Thu August 07, 2003 |
| (Some Squealer) |
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Farker Jabber wants to know if it is ever a good idea to tell on your boss. Link goes to a different type of squealer
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| (kypost.com) |
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Man steals car in his underwear. Captured after brief search
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Ashcroft to compile list of hippie judges who hand out lenient sentences
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: Computer/video games that were never made
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Working with idiots can kill you
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| (Boston Herald) |
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Only in Massachusetts can you be convicted of DWI seven times. Surprisingly, it wasn't their S\senator this time
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Car with dead man given parking ticket
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Man spends week alone with female corpse. Not that there's anything wrong with that
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U.S. Postal Service goes entire month without "Friendly Fire" incident
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Officer may have broken department rules using air gun to save chicken
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| (Japan Times) |
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Providing males with free food, free transportation and unlimited sex is the wisest choice for females
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| (Helsingin Sanomat) |
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Northern Finland the setting of world's first prostitution theme park. Lapland indeed
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| (Traditionalvalues.org) |
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Rev. Lou Sheldon opposing Schwarzenegger's candidacy. Robot sent back in time to deal with Rev. Sheldon
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Cuban Jews make historic visit to Israel. Cuban Jews?
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The Unabomber wants his stuff back. The Smoking Gun is there
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Republican responsible for starting California recall debacle drops out of race, cries like a little girl at his press conference
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Recent economic growth due to sharpest jump in defense spending since Korean War, not $400 refunds
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Is Howard Dean honest? Define "honest"
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Banks have shifted billions to pay themselves tax-free income. California not amused. No word yet from National Society of Who-The-Hell-Didn't-Know-That
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| (Taco Bell) |
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Eat at Taco Bell, win a year supply of gas. Sometimes the jokes just write themselves
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Miracle cure for aches and pains, on sale for over 200 years, finally reveals its ingredients: 95 percent lard and beeswax. Mmmm, lard
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General says Saddam moves three times a day. High fiber suspected
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Volunteers simultaneously flush all 627 toilets in new stadium
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Researchers publish guidelines for Web addiction
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Gore will not run in 2004. To summarize so far, Gore - No. Schwarzenegger - Yes. Jerry Springer - No. Gary Coleman - Yes. Larry Flynt - Yes. California Voters - Oh Shit
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Somthing Awful reviews Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
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| (wnbc.com) |
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Jennifer Connelly achieves MILF status. Again
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Actor Omar Sharif fined for headbutting French policeman. Sharif don't lii-ike it, headbutt the French cop, headbutt the French cop
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| (Some Salmon) |
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Opinion: Farker has 3.15-pounds of salmon fillet that MUST be cooked today. How should it be prepared?
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| (Josh Kelley) |
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AudioEdit parts of Josh Kelley's song "Amazing" into commercials for random products, fake or real
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Police searching for suspect who uses bricks, rocks, concrete, mops and potted plants to terrorize drivers
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| (click 10) |
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Couple buys new digital camcorder for son. Son discovers camcorder has been used before.
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| (Charleston.net) |
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U.S. men lose bronze medal in basketball to Puerto Rico
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Photoshop Mexican diver Joel Rodriguez
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Russian diamond mining company extracts giant 301.55-carat diamond
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Costner claims sequel to "Bodyguard" was to star Princess Di
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RMS Mulheim, a 2500-tonne ship, wrecked because the chief watch got his trousers caught in a chair
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Verizon plans to bring wireless Internet access to every corner of America
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When pouring gas into a carburetor to get the car started, make sure that the garage door is open, or the gas fumes will open the garage door for you
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Scientists have deciphered the mystery of how the tiny water bug walks on water
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Despite soaring unemployment, Norwegians refuse to become telemarketers. Garbage-collection rates higher
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| (wmtw.com) |
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Juvenile delinquent cows go on rampage. Topple gravestones and attack woman's car
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Man cleared of child abuse for spanking his teen daughter once with belt
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Danish jobless rate rises to 6.2 percent. Doughnuts unaffected
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| (Washington Times) |
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Al Sharpton says his campaign being hurt by racism. Being an unmitigated jackass has nothing to do with it
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BBC runs feature on Red vs Blue
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The Smoking Gun digs up the dirt on the Howard Stern suit against ABC
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Unbelievably drunk Norwegian goes nuts on flight, squeals like a pig
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Dog survives execution, emerges from gas chamber "a bit groggy" but otherwise happy
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Beckham in Spain, nostalgic for English food, Posh Spice
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| (Papillion Times) |
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Town of Papillion, Nebraska wins blood-drive trophy, appeasing their vampire rulers
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George Clooney says Monica's blowjob caused war on Iraq (scroll down)
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| (Some Old Guy) |
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Photoshop Tex and his state-of-the-art signature-analysis computer
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Jordan's Iraq embassy in bomb attack
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Putting things such as "tasting human flesh" and "shooting someone" on a typing assignment is not a good idea
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Tourist sues after becoming an exhibit along with seven sharks at the local aquarium
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| (Times Record) |
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Man says he didn't give doctors permission to amputate his penis
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| Wed August 06, 2003 |
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Harley Davidson made entirely of butter at Iowa State Fair. Amazingly, still leaks oil
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Study claims NYC WTC debris makes babies smaller. Trial lawyers rejoice
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| (WISH) |
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Nearby workers become suspicious when guy withdraws ATM money day after day wearing motorcycle helmet, but not riding motorcyle
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Scientists say shape of penis actually evolutionary, not result of excessive masturbation
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Sacre bleu. Zee heat wave in Europe may make zee French sweat and stink more zahn evaihr, but it may result in zee best wine vintage since 1947
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop Senator Palpatine at a clean-air rally
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Schwarzenegger announces bid for governor
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Sharks with frickin' laser beams could render nuclear waste inert
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| (Charleston Daily Mail) |
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Fark gets mention in article about popularity of church-giving, stripper-loving Powerball winner
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| (Some Guy) |
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Check out some of the hotties for the Girls of Rock 106 calendar girl search (SFW?)
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Mysterious failure of penis-enlargement pills may finally be solved
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| (Billings Gazette) |
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The recent gas-price jump is because more oil is going into U.S. strategic reserves
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South Dakota governor accidentally proclaims statewide "G. Gordon Liddy Day." In other news, Nebraska to declare "Ivan Boesky Day"
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| (WNBC) |
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Hawk mistakes chihuahua for rat in city park. Tastes like chicken
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Americans may be a little stupid, but them Germans is more stupider then us
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Jerry Springer says too many weirdos in Senate, goes back to talk show
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Man struck by taxi expresses his anger by exposing himself
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| (East Bay Express) |
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Gary Coleman throws his diminutive hat into race for California governor. Is anyone in California not running for governor?
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| (AU News Biscuits) |
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Scientists clone horse. World ponders need for another Julia Roberts
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Orphans used in dubious stuttering experiments in 1939 remain b-b-bitter
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Police at Des Moines Airport confiscate 16-foot king cobra
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Bus driver drinks until 4am, starts shift at 4:10am. Hilarity ensues
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Man climbs under refuse truck for dare. Hilarity ensues
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Iceland to restart whaling. Locals celebrate by going out clubbing
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Canadian tourist mugged on first day of visit to NY City, vows never to return, gets offers from five-star restaurants and hotels to return
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Key to success of Japanese manufacturing: Obsessive-compulsive weirdos
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Italian criminal travels to neighboring town to turn himself in because they have nicer jail
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Hedgehog operations -- the latest accessory for affluent Norwegians
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| (STLtoday.com) |
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Disgruntled St. Louis school-board members puts curse on mayor
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Male bus driver not allowed by company to wear shorts during heat wave, puts on a skirt instead
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| (usnews.com) |
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Photoshop the view out of this Egyptian Pizza Hut window
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Guy breaks back while alone in woods, survives on crickets and rain water collected in aspirin bottle
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Health-food stores could be bad for your health
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Janitor loses security clearance because of poor credit rating, now unable to scrub top-secret toilets
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U.S. landing underway in Liberia. Invading force just large enough to use HOV lanes throughout the country
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Computerized music coming to the opera. No word on ecstacy, glowsticks
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J.Lo is sticking with Ben
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| (Taipei Times) |
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"Pretentious" EU constitution will create a communist paradise
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Bestselling author concludes there are many criminals in prison. Some take drugs, food not five-star standard
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| (Herald Sun) |
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J.Lo dumps Ben over stripper incident
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Security hole on penis-enlargement spammer's website reveals personal information of thousands of people who responded at $50 a pop
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| (Manchester Online) |
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Vicar calls down eternal curse on whoever stole the flower baskets
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Man starts violently flipping around after judge sentences him to 40 years in prison. Family cheers him on
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Wealthy Floridians with more money than sense send their dogs to day camp (w/pics)
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Would you rather have a camera or an air hose crammed up your rectum? Define "more comfortable"
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Mother suprises daughter from grave with trunks containing three dead babies
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| (Washington Times) |
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Gore's speech plans trigger speculation he will run
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Census reports Florida attracts old people like honey attracts bees
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Naked man causing problems along British hiking trail
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| (WNBC) |
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Fire at sewage plant has neighbors gasping for suitable description of odor
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The best way to deal with an alligator in your kitchen is to just wait for the animal to go away on its own
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Stripper fires back, saying man suing actually milked her. The Smoking Gun is there
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Larry Flynt sued for leaving sex toys in company dishwasher. Incident not likely to help him on campaign trail
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Turns out the Texas GOP ran away from restricting votes in 1993
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Saddam's bodyguard's brother caught. Hunt is on for Saddam's bodyguard's brother's son's dog
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"Friends" couch to get own series
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Overturned truck of cattle parts has motorists throwing up
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Media runs out of things to talk about in Kobe Bryant case, begins reporting on itself
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop Theme: Bad Hallmark holiday-ornament ideas. Link goes to real example
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| (Larry Flint) |
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Larry Flynt's National Day of Prayer for the Death of Bill O'Reilly website (URL may be in some workplace filters, however this page is safe for work)
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The male G-spot: Does it exist?
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Larry Flynt dislikes Bill O'Reilly so much that he hopes you join him in prayer for his death
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| (Billings Gazette) |
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Man lights himself on fire to keep the cops away from him
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Mark Cuban tells TV show Kobe case "great for the NBA." Cuban threatens legal action against USA Today after comments printed (with audio)
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| (Some Guy from Houston) |
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C'mon Houston, we can do better than Vegas. Meet-up this Saturday. Link goes to Meet-up site
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| (Seattle Weekly) |
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Computers are in the classroom, but the teachers don't know how to use them
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Europeans swelter in near-record heat. One third of 19 percent of Italians feel they've gotten their money's worth
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| Tue August 05, 2003 |
| (City Journal) |
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Rap and hip-hop promote violence and hold African Americans down
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Malaysian court will fine men who perform SMS divorces more than $250
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Cool X-ray: Woman fixing fence winds up with nail in head
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Lead guitarist of Lynyrd Skynyrd suffers seizure, won't join band on tour
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Lennox Lewis may retire. In other news, Mike Tyson may appear in next "Bumfights" video
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| (Time) |
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Photoshop this Time magazine cover
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Man pulled over during speeding crackdown found to be tossing salad, cooking dinner in crock pot
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| (Some Guy) |
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Linux ain't going to be cheap -- ask The SCO Group why
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Ebay bans sales of Axis of Weasels playing cards
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German handball team sponsored by famous porn site. Players express concern about what they must do to meet their endorsement contracts
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| (Herald Sun) |
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Australian singer John Farnham may front reunited Queen
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| (The Ledger) |
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Company offers apes for programming jobs. Group says it's an insult to apes
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Milwaukee police shoot fifth unarmed motorist in 13 months
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A brief history of TV celebrities running for electoral office
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Lieberman says a Dean nomination would be "ticket to nowhere"
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| (bakutoday.net) |
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Japanese scientists working on woolly mammoth clones. Dinner is served
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Verizon accidentally prints X-rated phone number on rate-increase notices. Gives new meaning to "customer service"
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CIA officer says Steven Seagal is a nutball who believes his life is a combination of all of the movies he has been in
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NASA plans another new mission to Mars
|
| (Some Vegas Chick) |
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Get your Fark on in Vegas this Saturday at 6pm (sign up at Meetup.com)
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How to meet women on the beach
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| (Vegas Guy) |
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Farker's friend getting married -- photoshop what he was really doing in Vegas (gay strip-club refs appreciated)
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| (Pawtucket Times) |
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Elderly man traveling wrong direction on I-195 causes crash; rumored to have been searching for farmer's market. In other news, media announces it has swapped crazy-old-man drivers for shark attacks this summer
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| (WPVI) |
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Man apologizes for fatally stabbing friend in drunken dispute over who was going to get more beer
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How robots will steal your job
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| (HumorFeed) |
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A daily listing of the best satire articles on the Net, designed and run by Farkers. Check it out
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| (wftv) |
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Construction worker takes 30,000 volt jolt; not killed by the amps
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| (Some Guy) |
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A naked cowboy. Not safe for work
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Dropping the atomic bomb on Japan probably saved more lives than it cost
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| (411Mania) |
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Hollywood is out of ideas: Jurassic Park 4 to hit theaters in 2004; no word on possible Barney cameo
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| (Newsfilter.org) |
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The hottest Italian in the world, Emanuela Folliero (not safe for work)
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| (Troy (OH) Daily News) |
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Cincinnati Reds take out two-page newspaper ad to spin why they're tearing team apart. No one buys it
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| (missoulian.com) |
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Man who legally changed name to Jack Ass in 1997 commits suicide
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Springer guest, 29, show can't contain his glee of dumping mother of his seven-year-old child after nine years together. Prosecutors can't contain their glee when they do math and mom is only 22
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Cracker Barrel restaurant unwittingly selling postcards of Louisville's skyline, emblazoned with "Lexington"
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| (Some Nip) |
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It seems to be cold in there (not safe for work)
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Coming soon to a sexist bar near you: Fem-Ale
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| (Hackerhouse.com) |
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Farker Bump's friend needs suggestions for his upcoming "haunted house" flyer. Link goes to current design. N E ideas are appreciated
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Man cited for disorderly conduct for poking "Sesame Street" character
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| (Charleston Daily Mail) |
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Winner of largest Powerball jackpot loses $545,000 because he left car running outside a strip club at 2:30am
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Cameron Diaz claims she's a "victim" for posing nude in her pre-stardom days. Trial lawyers rejoice
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Drought causing Danube River to dry up, reveals German warships sunk by advancing Soviet forces in World War II
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NBC Sports head Dick Ebersol wins auction to learn who Carly Simon's "You're so Vain" is about
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Krispy Kreme continues quest for world domination with first European location
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How you have sex says a lot about you as a person (plus a review of the new book from Nerve.com)
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Photographer tries out new zoom lens on Kylie's arse. The Sun is there
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| (MaineToday.com) |
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Woman stabs man, blames it on the ghost of his ex-wife
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Laywer has a 40-year-old secret document from the Vatican explaining how to hold internal trials on sex abuse cases where no priest gets convicted
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U.S. secretly negotiating with Iran, but not so secretly that it can't be revealed on MSNBC or Fark
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Bridesmaid attends wedding despite falling face-first out of car on way to ceremony
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Judge to allow camera's at Kobe's trial; may also allow BBQ ribs, foosball table
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Immigration judge put on leave for making Tarzan comments to Ugandan rape victim
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J-Lo responds to Gigli-bashing and Ben-carousing by running $9000 bar tab and telling friends she's single
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Australian military creates super soldier. Super sheep still in development
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Toddler found wandering in park hours after being left behind on field trip
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Want to find out what dirt the British government has got on you? Here's how...
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Why William F. Buckley lost his gun permit. Hint: The Aztecs had calendars, but NYPD apparently doesn't
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Theme: Create a major holiday for August
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Study: One third of 19 percent of Italians fake their holidays
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Carla Bruni (not safe for work)
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| (ADN) |
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Beluga whale count lowest so far. Biologists blame it on lazy observers
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One third of old men have ED
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| (cdc.gov) |
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The best ways to beat the heat. Keeping your underpants in the crisper sadly not mentioned
|
| (Glossy News) |
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J-Lo's ass to secede from the Union
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Powerful explosion rocks a hotel in Jakarta. Four killed, six injured
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Lawmakers spend tax dollars to name popcorn the official snack of Illinois
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Nazi-like anti-spam organization blocks email access to Something Awful, is unwilling to remove them
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Mad cash dash by Kobe Bryant's wife documented by magazine (with pic of $4M diamond ring)
|
| (WCPO.COM) |
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Rare-snake collector bitten by rare snake, dies
|
| Mon August 04, 2003 |
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Telephone land lines will become obsolete
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Farmer serenades pigs, pisses off neighbors
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Extreme heat leads British zoos to give tigers blood-ice lollipops and buckets of ice-covered fruit tied to ceiling to monkeys, and to cover pigs in suntan lotion
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Alessia Merz (not safe for work)
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Photoshop President Bush using his amazing mental powers
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Twenty percent of Americans believe First Amendment goes too far
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Robert De Niro, Harvey Keitel, Howard Stern and Donald Trump licensed to carry guns in NY; Joan Rivers, Steven Seagal and William F. Buckley had gun-license renewals rejected by NY City Police
|
| (Orlando Sentinel) |
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New glove turns sign language into speech. No word on what it says when you flip the bird
|
| (wkyc) |
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Stadium bell stolen in 1970 prank found sitting unnoticed next to stadium for last 33 years
|
| (ZWire) |
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New study finds that the Internet is a great source of porn... I mean help... for studying
|
| (kvia.com) |
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Texas Democrats in Albuquerque get child leashes and something to suck on, courtesy of Texas GOP
|
| (TwinCities.com) |
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Too ugly, boring or psychotic to date. Some losers rejected by online personals before even signing up
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Jesse Ventura eyes run at presidency
|
| (NY Daily News) |
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250-square-foot Manhattan apartment quickly sells for $150,000
|
| (The Mirror) |
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Farkers predicted it: Falling album sales lead to strippage for Britney
|
| (dailynews.com) |
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San Diego Chicken "did not recall touching the girl"
|
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First-round draft pick realizes he's signed with the Cardinals, attempts to re-enact Leaving Las Vegas
|
| (7am.com) |
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Former senator says it's time for a woman president. Says women are oriented toward practical solutions, problem solving, cooking
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Jay Leno to get "Queer-Eye" make-over
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Melanie Griffith, a true triple threat: Can't sing, can't act, can't dance
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Lisa Guerrero asks FHM to re-shoot "more tasteful" photos for upcoming spread, since she's been hired by ABC. FHM: "No"
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China plans to send walking robot to the moon
|
| (9News.com) |
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Man finds $500,000 in his bank account, spends half of it. Hilarity ensues
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Florida company develops powder that helps scabs form. Local unions not amused
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Josh Kelley credits Fark with his recent surge in popularity
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A man, his wood and the explosion he held in his hand
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Missing-girl hoaxer also gave information on terrorist activites to the FBI. Dumbass level raised to "Orange"
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Man rams car with van "20 or 30 times"; meant to ram car next door
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After playing a concert with fellow 80s hairbands Poison and Skidrow, Motley Crue's lead singer Vince Neil decides to blow off steam by strangling a prostitute
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