You might try our Headline Search for easier navigation here.
These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
NEW To Fark? Find Out HOW TO FARKX
Sun August 10, 2003 |
(Some Guy) |
|
Photoshop a new campaign poster for any president or prime minister, living or dead (Link goes to inspiration)
|
|
|
Atlanta Braves' shortstop Rafael Furcal turns only the 12th unassisted triple play in baseball history
|
(HoustonChronicle.com) |
|
Tow-truck driving business has outgrown getting in wrecks/illegal parking business, in some cases by 25 to 1
|
|
|
Car accidentally leaps from roof of parking garage, lands on building across street
|
|
(Some Guy) |
|
Why the USA was spared David Hasselhoff's "singing" career
|
|
|
Kama Sutra puts sex workers in a better position for those who refuse condoms
|
|
|
29th Annual Beer Can Regatta sets sail. One for the boat, two for the captain
|
(Honolulu Advertiser) |
|
For it has been foretold in the ancient scripts...
|
|
|
Bay Area women have three to 10 times more flame retardant in their boobies than European or Japanese women
|
|
(14wfie.com) |
|
Indiana town gives up effort to shut down BBQ restaurant that features strippers
|
(Crazed Football Fan) |
|
NFL.com is charging $15 bucks to play fantasy football this year. Where are the good free leagues?
|
(Some Woman) |
|
Wet and wild. Not work safe
|
(Tampa Tribune) |
|
Online giants get ready to rumble
|
(bangornews.com) |
|
Woman calls police to report that the cows were "attacking" her car
|
(Tampa Tribune) |
|
Krav maga, the latest aerobics/self-defense combo workout, features all the dirty tricks you can think of. Bobby Hill feels vindicated
|
(Billings Gazette) |
|
Many economists did not think this jobless recovery would last so long
|
(STL Today) |
|
Amish laugh at town without power
|
|
|
Are you there, God? It's me, Europe
|
(Some Bloody Tourist) |
|
Farker Glasgowsfinest off on his annual outing to Amsterdam on Tuesday. Anyone want to meet up? I'm Scottish, so I'm not paying
|
|
|
Teens use stun gun on the local homeless. Get busted outside of justice center
|
|
|
Gigli is the worst-rated movie of all time on IMDB
|
|
|
Ten years ago, the average bra size was 34B. Today, it is 36C, with an estimated 40 percent of women taking a D cup or above. Kittens surrender
|
(SignOnSanDiego) |
|
Father Guido Sarducci is also running for California governor. SNL fans rejoice
|
|
|
Bananas swiped from elderly shop owner by man in gorilla costume. Old woman freaks out
|
|
|
Actor, dancer Gregory Hines dies of cancer at 57
|
|
|
Having failed to crack the U.S. teen music market, Latin superstar focuses on K-Mart shoppers
|
|
|
Fans abuzz as six-legged cockroach champion exterminates competition
|
(CompuServe) |
|
Degrees in Basket Weaving can give you lung cancer
|
(WNBC) |
|
Dancing marine brandishes gun, forgets that he's in New Jersey and not Iraq
|
(The Sideboard) |
|
Watch geeks battle it out: Magic The Gathering World Championships live webcast
|
|
|
Jamaicans have a bone to pick with how new statue is hung
|
|
|
Photoshop the Puerto Rico volleyball mascot
|
|
|
Afghani female rock band makes waves in Germany. Keep on rocking in the free world
|
|
|
Producers prepared to make Terminator 4 without Arnold. T4 prepared to suck
|
(Some Guy) |
|
Lightning and Jesus mix it up in West Virginia
|
(Some Ball Challenged Guy) |
|
Neuticles, now with two firmness levels
|
|
|
Ten-year-old boy narrowly avoids being struck by meteor in own driveway
|
|
|
900,000 people show up for rave in Zurich. With pics of "scantily clad ravers" (SFW)
|
(Orlando Sentinel) |
|
Fishing for lightning
|
(Bay News 9) |
|
Safeball may just save your life
|
|
|
George Clooney says he doesn't give a rat's ass about the way he looks. Dude, George, can I have the stuff your smoking these days?
|
(MSN) |
|
Top 10 high school movies... OF ALL TIME
|
|
|
I'm too sexy for my hijab
|
|
|
School children's favourite word is "cool." Cool? Whatever
|
(Some Guy) |
|
Genetically engineer two foods together for an unlikely combination. Link goes to blueberry burgers
|
|
|
Director of chamber of commerce points gun at cops during car chase. Fatality ensues
|
Sat August 09, 2003 |
|
|
Models show off the latest look for ancient Vikings (pic)
|
|
|
Ten year old charged with setting school gym on fire. Could get five years in the joint
|
(www.rubiks.com) |
|
Play Rubik's Cube online in flash
|
(Some Guy) |
|
Amish home saved by technology they shun
|
|
|
Ohio State Fair features world's largest bag of potato chips at 1082.5 pounds
|
|
|
No winners in Italian lottery for the 44th consecutive drawing.
|
(The One Ring.net) |
|
Just when you were sure the California gubernatorial race couldn't get any better...
|
|
|
Tourists find chained body on Florida beach
|
(business.boston.com) |
|
Judges joins MIT's FU to the RIAA
|
|
|
Today I am mostly sculpting Kylie's bum... in ice. "Its hazardous work," says sculptor
|
(Some Guy) |
|
Japanese team to search for Abominable Snowman
|
(Some drunk farker) |
|
Farker acurus is going to Dublin, Ireland next month. Any in-the-know farkers have any suggestions for the itinerary? Guinness and whiskey: Motion seconded and motion carried
|
(Some Pinball Wizard) |
|
Finally, a pinball game that looks like a Timex watch and sounds like a submarine
|
(Grand Island Independent) |
|
Judge rules that a man did not violate his parole after eating a beer burrito, but warns him about violating air-quality laws in the future
|
|
|
First-class passenger sentenced for sharing food with coach-class passenger
|
|
|
Calculator and cell phone stop bullet, save life
|
|
|
2003 Texas football media guide weighs five pounds
|
|
|
Take pity on me and buy this half of my car CD player, if you would like the rest please contact your local car thief...
|
|
|
French rock star accused of beating girlfriend to death in Lithuania. That's right, French rock star
|
|
|
Smelly blob takes over NJ town even though residents voted for Kodos. Experts study it with scientifical test: They poke at it
|
|
|
Coca-Cola files lawsuit over a recall in Japan caused by use of an unapproved flavor
|
|
|
You can ward off Alzheimer's by... uh, by.... you can, um. Alzheimer's. By uh ...
|
(Minot Daily News) |
|
Equine massage therapist or front for very odd prostitution ring? You decide
|
|
|
Ueberroth announces California recall bid, making it now officially easier to list people not running: Pat Sajek, Ronald Reagan. That is all
|
|
|
Woman is sentenced after her husband told her to breastfeed, talk on her cell and drive at the same time
|
(Some Guy) |
|
Cyber Mice Party, the game. Guide your mice through various obstacles and traps. Very stupid, yet addicting, flash game
|
|
|
Shortage of monkeys slowing medical research
|
|
|
In 1995 the All Blacks poisoned themselves with an unauthorized late-night prawn party. Suzie's everywhere feel vindicated
|
|
|
Connecticut lottery officials investigating why two balls failed to drop during drawing. Cold water likely to blame
|
|
|
Government council urges older women to become lesbians
|
|
|
"Bruce Almighty" finally gets Malaysia's nod
|
|
|
New mail shapes start Monday. Porn industry snaps to attention
|
(Some Vegas Guy) |
|
Today is the Fark meetup in Las Vegas. Meet at 6pm at the TGIF on Sahara Avenue, near Decatur Blvd (next to the WOW store). I vote that we go to the Doubledown Saloon afterwards
|
|
|
Seeking to drive his approval rating into negative numbers, Governor Davis drives 94 mph down "Blood Alley" being chased by CHP
|
|
|
Fresh out of prison for murder, man stabs his twin brother in argument over a Mars Bar
|
|
|
"Pigs of God" contest condemned by animal welfare groups. "Cows of Satan" applaud
|
|
|
Soaring temperatures have claimed the lives of 30,000 eels in Europe's busiest waterway, the Rhine river
|
(ElkhartTruth.com) |
|
Nimrod steals gumball machine. Stupidity ensues
|
(14wfie.com) |
|
Help name the Evansville Zoo's two new otters
|
|
|
The death of the original video games
|
|
|
U.S. admits to using improved version of napalm. Still smells great in the morning
|
(Salt Lake City Weekly) |
|
Sex, wine, pyramids and impregnating several fully-clothed women at once
|
(Click10.com) |
|
Tornado goes through Palm Beach county, retirees flee in terror
|
(twincities.com) |
|
How to pick up a hooker
|
|
|
Man, in prison for drugs, gets released for about five minutes -- friends brought him drugs when they picked him up from jail
|
|
|
Spain running out of ice
|
(Some Guy) |
|
Pilot, 78, cuts off another plane trying to land, takes off, has engine trouble, crashes into garbage truck on highway, then wanders over to farmer's market
|
|
|
Vibrating shaver sparks terror alert in Malaysia. As close as a bomb, or your money back
|
(Some Guy) |
|
Photoshop other wonders of powering your outdoor advertisements with Windows
|
(Some Guy) |
|
Petra's pretty pretty in pink (not safe for work)
|
|
|
Supreme Court scolds law firm for commercials suggesting insurance companies would settle claims merely because the claimants are represented by them
|
(Charleston.net) |
|
Confederate time was 26 minutes slower than Union time
|
(WOWT) |
|
Court rules that Ford Motor Co. and Firestone Inc. cannot be held liable in the death of a 19-year-old woman who was murdered while trying to change a flat tire
|
(SGVTribune) |
|
Lesser-known wackos are running for CA governor: A sumo wrestler, poet and substitute teacher (and that's just one guy)
|
Fri August 08, 2003 |
(Some Guy) |
|
Photoshop Seabiscuit
|
|
|
Answers to common questions about West Nile
|
|
|
Federal judge says police should not participate in high-speed chases; criminals are hereby requested to observe the posted speed limits during the commission of all crimes
|
|
|
Yemeni beggar exposed as a fraud after cell phone starts ringing
|
|
|
Japanese ponder going nuclear
|
|
|
It's true that asshats send out millions of emails a day, but you'd be surprised who actually makes the most money from spam
|
(Billings Gazette) |
|
Hilarious failed macaw burglary; macaw ends up in washing machine
|
|
|
Friday afternoon fun. Theme: Making fun of the personals ads. Questions: What was the worst lie you've ever told? What celebrity do you most resemble? What things can't you live without? Feel free to make up new questions, voting enabled
|
|
|
NY man decides he doesn't want to pay $916.50 cab fare
|
|
|
Is that a rare turtle in your pants or are you just glad to see me?
|
|
|
SF cop cleared in tangled chicken incident
|
|
|
"Wil Wheaton's turn as the hardened son of a Mafioso might be the most amazing casting misfire in Hollywood history. Has to be seen to be believed. It's like somebody lost a bet"
|
(Some Guy) |
|
Kentucky man takes garbage truck at gunpoint
|
|
|
Local councillor resigns after photos of himself wearing a suspender belt, tights and no underwear surface
|
|
|
Bengal tiger escapes from cage at zoo, returns to cage after being scared by tourists
|
|
|
Understading the female orgasm. Next week: Understanding Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny
|
(Perlguy) |
|
Scared Farker's SCO License Purchase page
|
|
|
Guy who had entire home stolen given new stealable home
|
|
|
"Flash mob" storms London, pays respects to sofa, disperses. Ottoman overlooked
|
(Some Guy) |
|
Farker el_hueso locked down in mall while cops look for armed robber. Right now
|
|
|
Attorney for Jayson "The Rifleman" Williams say gun that killed limo driver magically fired all by itself
|
|
|
Pentagon plans to take out North Korea in 30 to 60 days
|
|
|
Emmitt Smith prepares for this weekend's game against the Cowboys by describing his last season with them: 'It felt like being a diamond surrounded by trash"
|
|
|
Photoshop Colin Farrell with a surfboard
|
(Burlington Free Press) |
|
"Weed Road" sign repeatedly stolen
|
|
|
Barracuda jumps into boat and bites fisherman in attempt to save caught-barracuda buddy. Dinner is served
|
|
|
FBI says 9/11 hijackers crashed Flight 93 on their own
|
|
|
Woman who breast-fed her child while driving gets off
|
|
|
SA vs. SPEWS battle gaining momentum, picked up by The Register, UK
|
|
|
Source of New Jersey's hallmark rotten-egg smell finally located
|
|
|
Couple notices honey dripping down the walls of their home after buying new house from beekeeper (with pics)
|
|
|
Seven asteroids to be named after the fallen Columbia crew. In other news, hemmoroids to be named after California gubernatorial candidates
|
|
|
Cops pretend to have illegal checkpoint set up for busting people with narcotics. Instead, bust people for illegal U-turns and get their drugs
|
|
|
German brewers forced to reassure citizenry no imminent danger of beer running out
|
|
|
Who has the best pizza in the U.S.?
|
|
|
Firefighters admit defeat in battle against cat-sized rats
|
|
|
Special-edition DVDs sucker fans into buying up to 4 DVDs of the same movie
|
|
|
Galactic cannibalism: Your galaxy wants steak
|
(Washington Times) |
|
Economy is still doing well. Wal-Mart has best sales in over a year. Must be the Pentagon buying all those Abrams tanks and not the $400 tax cut
|
|
|
Powerball winner was drugged at strip club; still a dumbass for leaving huge amounts of cash in idling car
|
|
|
Goat-jogging trend sweeping the nation
|
|
|
Photoshop Tom Ridge and the tiny thing he is crushing
|
|
|
Something Awful steps up its anti-SPEWS campaign
|
|
|
Man sends ancient human skull to mayor of Honolulu
|
(Some Farker) |
|
Tonight's the big Indianapolis Fark Party -- be there or be a Hoosier
|
|
|
The average American will drive 36 miles out of the way for food
|
|
|
Is it okay for her to break a date?
|
(Scientific American) |
|
2000-year-old mystery solved. Oracle of Delphi issued prophecies while higher than Cheech & Chong
|
|
|
Mathematician says he can forecast whether a couple will stay together using algebra
|
|
|
Tasmanian conservationists are urging people to tolerate aggressive masked-lapwing humping
|
(Bozeman Daily Chronicle) |
|
The brown water coming out of Bozeman, Montana taps is safe to drink
|
|
|
When you buy vehicles seized from drug dealers, sometimes they miss drugs hidden in the vehicle. That is bad if you take the vehicle to Mexico
|
|
|
Homeless man dying on deserted farm rescued after sheepdog takes hastily-scribbled message in bottle to master; wants steak
|
(Some Guy) |
|
Photoshop an unlikely kitchen appliance. Link goes to an example of a weird-looking juice maker
|
|
|
Record temperatures in Britain result in major boobiefest (not safe for work)
|
|
|
Stripper spills the beans about night with Ben Affleck
|
(theage.com) |
|
Study: "Six Degrees Of Separation: theory applies to every single person on the Internet
|
|
|
New media ownership rules may lead to more indecency on radio and TV
|
Thu August 07, 2003 |
(Some Squealer) |
|
Farker Jabber wants to know if it is ever a good idea to tell on your boss. Link goes to a different type of squealer
|
(kypost.com) |
|
Man steals car in his underwear. Captured after brief search
|
|
|
Ashcroft to compile list of hippie judges who hand out lenient sentences
|
(Some Guy) |
|
Theme: Computer/video games that were never made
|
|
|
Working with idiots can kill you
|
(Boston Herald) |
|
Only in Massachusetts can you be convicted of DWI seven times. Surprisingly, it wasn't their S\senator this time
|
|
|
Car with dead man given parking ticket
|
|
|
Man spends week alone with female corpse. Not that there's anything wrong with that
|
|
|
U.S. Postal Service goes entire month without "Friendly Fire" incident
|
|
|
Officer may have broken department rules using air gun to save chicken
|
(Japan Times) |
|
Providing males with free food, free transportation and unlimited sex is the wisest choice for females
|
(Helsingin Sanomat) |
|
Northern Finland the setting of world's first prostitution theme park. Lapland indeed
|
(Traditionalvalues.org) |
|
Rev. Lou Sheldon opposing Schwarzenegger's candidacy. Robot sent back in time to deal with Rev. Sheldon
|
|
|
Cuban Jews make historic visit to Israel. Cuban Jews?
|
|
|
The Unabomber wants his stuff back. The Smoking Gun is there
|
|
|
Republican responsible for starting California recall debacle drops out of race, cries like a little girl at his press conference
|
|
|
Recent economic growth due to sharpest jump in defense spending since Korean War, not $400 refunds
|
|
|
Is Howard Dean honest? Define "honest"
|
|
|
Banks have shifted billions to pay themselves tax-free income. California not amused. No word yet from National Society of Who-The-Hell-Didn't-Know-That
|
(Taco Bell) |
|
Eat at Taco Bell, win a year supply of gas. Sometimes the jokes just write themselves
|
|
|
Miracle cure for aches and pains, on sale for over 200 years, finally reveals its ingredients: 95 percent lard and beeswax. Mmmm, lard
|
|
|
General says Saddam moves three times a day. High fiber suspected
|
|
|
Volunteers simultaneously flush all 627 toilets in new stadium
|
|
|
Researchers publish guidelines for Web addiction
|
|
|
Gore will not run in 2004. To summarize so far, Gore - No. Schwarzenegger - Yes. Jerry Springer - No. Gary Coleman - Yes. Larry Flynt - Yes. California Voters - Oh Shit
|
|
|
Somthing Awful reviews Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
|
(wnbc.com) |
|
Jennifer Connelly achieves MILF status. Again
|
|
|
Actor Omar Sharif fined for headbutting French policeman. Sharif don't lii-ike it, headbutt the French cop, headbutt the French cop
|
(Some Salmon) |
|
Opinion: Farker has 3.15-pounds of salmon fillet that MUST be cooked today. How should it be prepared?
|
(Josh Kelley) |
|
AudioEdit parts of Josh Kelley's song "Amazing" into commercials for random products, fake or real
|
|
|
Police searching for suspect who uses bricks, rocks, concrete, mops and potted plants to terrorize drivers
|
(click 10) |
|
Couple buys new digital camcorder for son. Son discovers camcorder has been used before.
|
(Charleston.net) |
|
U.S. men lose bronze medal in basketball to Puerto Rico
|
|
|
Photoshop Mexican diver Joel Rodriguez
|
|
|
Russian diamond mining company extracts giant 301.55-carat diamond
|
|
|
Costner claims sequel to "Bodyguard" was to star Princess Di
|
|
|
RMS Mulheim, a 2500-tonne ship, wrecked because the chief watch got his trousers caught in a chair
|
|
|
Verizon plans to bring wireless Internet access to every corner of America
|
|
|
When pouring gas into a carburetor to get the car started, make sure that the garage door is open, or the gas fumes will open the garage door for you
|
|
|
Scientists have deciphered the mystery of how the tiny water bug walks on water
|
|
|
Despite soaring unemployment, Norwegians refuse to become telemarketers. Garbage-collection rates higher
|
(wmtw.com) |
|
Juvenile delinquent cows go on rampage. Topple gravestones and attack woman's car
|
|
|
Man cleared of child abuse for spanking his teen daughter once with belt
|
|
|
Danish jobless rate rises to 6.2 percent. Doughnuts unaffected
|
(Washington Times) |
|
Al Sharpton says his campaign being hurt by racism. Being an unmitigated jackass has nothing to do with it
|
|
|
BBC runs feature on Red vs Blue
|
|
|
The Smoking Gun digs up the dirt on the Howard Stern suit against ABC
|
|
|
Unbelievably drunk Norwegian goes nuts on flight, squeals like a pig
|
|
|
Dog survives execution, emerges from gas chamber "a bit groggy" but otherwise happy
|
|
|
Beckham in Spain, nostalgic for English food, Posh Spice
|
(Papillion Times) |
|
Town of Papillion, Nebraska wins blood-drive trophy, appeasing their vampire rulers
|
|
|
George Clooney says Monica's blowjob caused war on Iraq (scroll down)
|
(Some Old Guy) |
|
Photoshop Tex and his state-of-the-art signature-analysis computer
|
|
|
Jordan's Iraq embassy in bomb attack
|
|
|
Putting things such as "tasting human flesh" and "shooting someone" on a typing assignment is not a good idea
|
|
|
Tourist sues after becoming an exhibit along with seven sharks at the local aquarium
|
(Times Record) |
|
Man says he didn't give doctors permission to amputate his penis
|
Wed August 06, 2003 |
|
|
Harley Davidson made entirely of butter at Iowa State Fair. Amazingly, still leaks oil
|
|
|
Study claims NYC WTC debris makes babies smaller. Trial lawyers rejoice
|
(WISH) |
|
Nearby workers become suspicious when guy withdraws ATM money day after day wearing motorcycle helmet, but not riding motorcyle
|
|
|
Scientists say shape of penis actually evolutionary, not result of excessive masturbation
|
|
|
Sacre bleu. Zee heat wave in Europe may make zee French sweat and stink more zahn evaihr, but it may result in zee best wine vintage since 1947
|
(Some Guy) |
|
Photoshop Senator Palpatine at a clean-air rally
|
|
|
Schwarzenegger announces bid for governor
|
|
|
Sharks with frickin' laser beams could render nuclear waste inert
|
(Charleston Daily Mail) |
|
Fark gets mention in article about popularity of church-giving, stripper-loving Powerball winner
|
(Some Guy) |
|
Check out some of the hotties for the Girls of Rock 106 calendar girl search (SFW?)
|
|
|
Mysterious failure of penis-enlargement pills may finally be solved
|
(Billings Gazette) |
|
The recent gas-price jump is because more oil is going into U.S. strategic reserves
|
|
|
South Dakota governor accidentally proclaims statewide "G. Gordon Liddy Day." In other news, Nebraska to declare "Ivan Boesky Day"
|
(WNBC) |
|
Hawk mistakes chihuahua for rat in city park. Tastes like chicken
|
|
|
Americans may be a little stupid, but them Germans is more stupider then us
|
|
|
Jerry Springer says too many weirdos in Senate, goes back to talk show
|
|
|
Man struck by taxi expresses his anger by exposing himself
|
(East Bay Express) |
|
Gary Coleman throws his diminutive hat into race for California governor. Is anyone in California not running for governor?
|
(AU News Biscuits) |
|
Scientists clone horse. World ponders need for another Julia Roberts
|
|
|
Orphans used in dubious stuttering experiments in 1939 remain b-b-bitter
|
|
|
Police at Des Moines Airport confiscate 16-foot king cobra
|
|
|
Bus driver drinks until 4am, starts shift at 4:10am. Hilarity ensues
|
|
|
Man climbs under refuse truck for dare. Hilarity ensues
|
|
|
Iceland to restart whaling. Locals celebrate by going out clubbing
|
|
|
Canadian tourist mugged on first day of visit to NY City, vows never to return, gets offers from five-star restaurants and hotels to return
|
|
|
Key to success of Japanese manufacturing: Obsessive-compulsive weirdos
|
|
|
Italian criminal travels to neighboring town to turn himself in because they have nicer jail
|
|
|
Hedgehog operations -- the latest accessory for affluent Norwegians
|
(STLtoday.com) |
|
Disgruntled St. Louis school-board members puts curse on mayor
|
|
|
Male bus driver not allowed by company to wear shorts during heat wave, puts on a skirt instead
|
(usnews.com) |
|
Photoshop the view out of this Egyptian Pizza Hut window
|
|
|
Guy breaks back while alone in woods, survives on crickets and rain water collected in aspirin bottle
|
|
|
Health-food stores could be bad for your health
|
|
|
Janitor loses security clearance because of poor credit rating, now unable to scrub top-secret toilets
|
|
|
U.S. landing underway in Liberia. Invading force just large enough to use HOV lanes throughout the country
|
|
|
Computerized music coming to the opera. No word on ecstacy, glowsticks
|
|
|
J.Lo is sticking with Ben
|
(Taipei Times) |
|
"Pretentious" EU constitution will create a communist paradise
|
|
|
Bestselling author concludes there are many criminals in prison. Some take drugs, food not five-star standard
|
(Herald Sun) |
|
J.Lo dumps Ben over stripper incident
|
|
|
Security hole on penis-enlargement spammer's website reveals personal information of thousands of people who responded at $50 a pop
|
(Manchester Online) |
|
Vicar calls down eternal curse on whoever stole the flower baskets
|
|
|
Man starts violently flipping around after judge sentences him to 40 years in prison. Family cheers him on
|
|
|
Wealthy Floridians with more money than sense send their dogs to day camp (w/pics)
|
|
|
Would you rather have a camera or an air hose crammed up your rectum? Define "more comfortable"
|
|
|
Mother suprises daughter from grave with trunks containing three dead babies
|
(Washington Times) |
|
Gore's speech plans trigger speculation he will run
|
|
|
Census reports Florida attracts old people like honey attracts bees
|
|
|
Naked man causing problems along British hiking trail
|
(WNBC) |
|
Fire at sewage plant has neighbors gasping for suitable description of odor
|
|
|
The best way to deal with an alligator in your kitchen is to just wait for the animal to go away on its own
|
|
|
Stripper fires back, saying man suing actually milked her. The Smoking Gun is there
|
|
|
Larry Flynt sued for leaving sex toys in company dishwasher. Incident not likely to help him on campaign trail
|
|
|
Turns out the Texas GOP ran away from restricting votes in 1993
|
|
|
Saddam's bodyguard's brother caught. Hunt is on for Saddam's bodyguard's brother's son's dog
|
|
|
"Friends" couch to get own series
|
|
|
Overturned truck of cattle parts has motorists throwing up
|
|
|
Media runs out of things to talk about in Kobe Bryant case, begins reporting on itself
|
(Some Guy) |
|
Photoshop Theme: Bad Hallmark holiday-ornament ideas. Link goes to real example
|
(Larry Flint) |
|
Larry Flynt's National Day of Prayer for the Death of Bill O'Reilly website (URL may be in some workplace filters, however this page is safe for work)
|
|
|
The male G-spot: Does it exist?
|
|
|
Larry Flynt dislikes Bill O'Reilly so much that he hopes you join him in prayer for his death
|
(Billings Gazette) |
|
Man lights himself on fire to keep the cops away from him
|
|
|
Mark Cuban tells TV show Kobe case "great for the NBA." Cuban threatens legal action against USA Today after comments printed (with audio)
|
(Some Guy from Houston) |
|
C'mon Houston, we can do better than Vegas. Meet-up this Saturday. Link goes to Meet-up site
|
(Seattle Weekly) |
|
Computers are in the classroom, but the teachers don't know how to use them
|
|
|
Europeans swelter in near-record heat. One third of 19 percent of Italians feel they've gotten their money's worth
|
Tue August 05, 2003 |
(City Journal) |
|
Rap and hip-hop promote violence and hold African Americans down
|
|
|
Malaysian court will fine men who perform SMS divorces more than $250
|
|
|
Cool X-ray: Woman fixing fence winds up with nail in head
|
|
|
Lead guitarist of Lynyrd Skynyrd suffers seizure, won't join band on tour
|
|
|
Lennox Lewis may retire. In other news, Mike Tyson may appear in next "Bumfights" video
|
(Time) |
|
Photoshop this Time magazine cover
|
|
|
Man pulled over during speeding crackdown found to be tossing salad, cooking dinner in crock pot
|
(Some Guy) |
|
Linux ain't going to be cheap -- ask The SCO Group why
|
|
|
Ebay bans sales of Axis of Weasels playing cards
|
|
|
German handball team sponsored by famous porn site. Players express concern about what they must do to meet their endorsement contracts
|
(Herald Sun) |
|
Australian singer John Farnham may front reunited Queen
|
(The Ledger) |
|
Company offers apes for programming jobs. Group says it's an insult to apes
|
|
|
Milwaukee police shoot fifth unarmed motorist in 13 months
|
|
|
A brief history of TV celebrities running for electoral office
|
|
|
Lieberman says a Dean nomination would be "ticket to nowhere"
|
(bakutoday.net) |
|
Japanese scientists working on woolly mammoth clones. Dinner is served
|
|
|
Verizon accidentally prints X-rated phone number on rate-increase notices. Gives new meaning to "customer service"
|
|
|
CIA officer says Steven Seagal is a nutball who believes his life is a combination of all of the movies he has been in
|
|
|
NASA plans another new mission to Mars
|
(Some Vegas Chick) |
|
Get your Fark on in Vegas this Saturday at 6pm (sign up at Meetup.com)
|
|
|
How to meet women on the beach
|
(Vegas Guy) |
|
Farker's friend getting married -- photoshop what he was really doing in Vegas (gay strip-club refs appreciated)
|
(Pawtucket Times) |
|
Elderly man traveling wrong direction on I-195 causes crash; rumored to have been searching for farmer's market. In other news, media announces it has swapped crazy-old-man drivers for shark attacks this summer
|
(WPVI) |
|
Man apologizes for fatally stabbing friend in drunken dispute over who was going to get more beer
|
|
|
How robots will steal your job
|
(HumorFeed) |
|
A daily listing of the best satire articles on the Net, designed and run by Farkers. Check it out
|
(wftv) |
|
Construction worker takes 30,000 volt jolt; not killed by the amps
|
(Some Guy) |
|
A naked cowboy. Not safe for work
|
|
|
Dropping the atomic bomb on Japan probably saved more lives than it cost
|
(411Mania) |
|
Hollywood is out of ideas: Jurassic Park 4 to hit theaters in 2004; no word on possible Barney cameo
|
(Newsfilter.org) |
|
The hottest Italian in the world, Emanuela Folliero (not safe for work)
|
(Troy (OH) Daily News) |
|
Cincinnati Reds take out two-page newspaper ad to spin why they're tearing team apart. No one buys it
|
(missoulian.com) |
|
Man who legally changed name to Jack Ass in 1997 commits suicide
|
|
|
Springer guest, 29, show can't contain his glee of dumping mother of his seven-year-old child after nine years together. Prosecutors can't contain their glee when they do math and mom is only 22
|
|
|
Cracker Barrel restaurant unwittingly selling postcards of Louisville's skyline, emblazoned with "Lexington"
|
(Some Nip) |
|
It seems to be cold in there (not safe for work)
|
|
|
Coming soon to a sexist bar near you: Fem-Ale
|
(Hackerhouse.com) |
|
Farker Bump's friend needs suggestions for his upcoming "haunted house" flyer. Link goes to current design. N E ideas are appreciated
|
|
|
Man cited for disorderly conduct for poking "Sesame Street" character
|
(Charleston Daily Mail) |
|
Winner of largest Powerball jackpot loses $545,000 because he left car running outside a strip club at 2:30am
|
|
|
Cameron Diaz claims she's a "victim" for posing nude in her pre-stardom days. Trial lawyers rejoice
|
|
|
Drought causing Danube River to dry up, reveals German warships sunk by advancing Soviet forces in World War II
|
|
|
NBC Sports head Dick Ebersol wins auction to learn who Carly Simon's "You're so Vain" is about
|
|
|
Krispy Kreme continues quest for world domination with first European location
|
|
|
How you have sex says a lot about you as a person (plus a review of the new book from Nerve.com)
|
|
|
Photographer tries out new zoom lens on Kylie's arse. The Sun is there
|
(MaineToday.com) |
|
Woman stabs man, blames it on the ghost of his ex-wife
|
|
|
Laywer has a 40-year-old secret document from the Vatican explaining how to hold internal trials on sex abuse cases where no priest gets convicted
|
|
|
U.S. secretly negotiating with Iran, but not so secretly that it can't be revealed on MSNBC or Fark
|
|
|
Bridesmaid attends wedding despite falling face-first out of car on way to ceremony
|
|
|
Judge to allow camera's at Kobe's trial; may also allow BBQ ribs, foosball table
|
|
|
Immigration judge put on leave for making Tarzan comments to Ugandan rape victim
|
|
|
J-Lo responds to Gigli-bashing and Ben-carousing by running $9000 bar tab and telling friends she's single
|
|
|
Australian military creates super soldier. Super sheep still in development
|
|
|
Toddler found wandering in park hours after being left behind on field trip
|
|
|
Want to find out what dirt the British government has got on you? Here's how...
|
|
|
Why William F. Buckley lost his gun permit. Hint: The Aztecs had calendars, but NYPD apparently doesn't
|
|
|
Theme: Create a major holiday for August
|
|
|
Study: One third of 19 percent of Italians fake their holidays
|
(Some Guy) |
|
Carla Bruni (not safe for work)
|
(ADN) |
|
Beluga whale count lowest so far. Biologists blame it on lazy observers
|
|
|
One third of old men have ED
|
(cdc.gov) |
|
The best ways to beat the heat. Keeping your underpants in the crisper sadly not mentioned
|
(Glossy News) |
|
J-Lo's ass to secede from the Union
|
|
|
Powerful explosion rocks a hotel in Jakarta. Four killed, six injured
|
|
|
Lawmakers spend tax dollars to name popcorn the official snack of Illinois
|
|
|
Nazi-like anti-spam organization blocks email access to Something Awful, is unwilling to remove them
|
|
|
Mad cash dash by Kobe Bryant's wife documented by magazine (with pic of $4M diamond ring)
|
(WCPO.COM) |
|
Rare-snake collector bitten by rare snake, dies
|
Mon August 04, 2003 |
|
|
Telephone land lines will become obsolete
|
|
|
Farmer serenades pigs, pisses off neighbors
|
|
|
Extreme heat leads British zoos to give tigers blood-ice lollipops and buckets of ice-covered fruit tied to ceiling to monkeys, and to cover pigs in suntan lotion
|
(Some Guy) |
|
Alessia Merz (not safe for work)
|
|
|
Photoshop President Bush using his amazing mental powers
|
|
|
Twenty percent of Americans believe First Amendment goes too far
|
|
|
Robert De Niro, Harvey Keitel, Howard Stern and Donald Trump licensed to carry guns in NY; Joan Rivers, Steven Seagal and William F. Buckley had gun-license renewals rejected by NY City Police
|
(Orlando Sentinel) |
|
New glove turns sign language into speech. No word on what it says when you flip the bird
|
(wkyc) |
|
Stadium bell stolen in 1970 prank found sitting unnoticed next to stadium for last 33 years
|
(ZWire) |
|
New study finds that the Internet is a great source of porn... I mean help... for studying
|
(kvia.com) |
|
Texas Democrats in Albuquerque get child leashes and something to suck on, courtesy of Texas GOP
|
(TwinCities.com) |
|
Too ugly, boring or psychotic to date. Some losers rejected by online personals before even signing up
|
|
|
Jesse Ventura eyes run at presidency
|
(NY Daily News) |
|
250-square-foot Manhattan apartment quickly sells for $150,000
|
(The Mirror) |
|
Farkers predicted it: Falling album sales lead to strippage for Britney
|
(dailynews.com) |
|
San Diego Chicken "did not recall touching the girl"
|
|
|
First-round draft pick realizes he's signed with the Cardinals, attempts to re-enact Leaving Las Vegas
|
(7am.com) |
|
Former senator says it's time for a woman president. Says women are oriented toward practical solutions, problem solving, cooking
|
|
|
Jay Leno to get "Queer-Eye" make-over
|
|
|
Melanie Griffith, a true triple threat: Can't sing, can't act, can't dance
|
|
|
Lisa Guerrero asks FHM to re-shoot "more tasteful" photos for upcoming spread, since she's been hired by ABC. FHM: "No"
|
|
|
China plans to send walking robot to the moon
|
(9News.com) |
|
Man finds $500,000 in his bank account, spends half of it. Hilarity ensues
|
|
|
Florida company develops powder that helps scabs form. Local unions not amused
|
|
|
Josh Kelley credits Fark with his recent surge in popularity
|
|
|
A man, his wood and the explosion he held in his hand
|
|
|
Missing-girl hoaxer also gave information on terrorist activites to the FBI. Dumbass level raised to "Orange"
|
|
|
Man rams car with van "20 or 30 times"; meant to ram car next door
| | |