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| Sun June 15, 2003 |
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Photoshop an ad for McDonald's new "I'm Loving It" campaign
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San Antonio Rockets defeat New Jersey Knicks to win NFL Championship
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To get away with taking nudie pics of kids, you have to be acclaimed world-renowned artist. Being a part-time Domino's Pizza employee doesn't cut it
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Guy wearing deep-sea diving suit sets world record for slowest marathon time: Six days, four hours, 30 minutes and 56 seconds
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| (Honolulu Advertiser) |
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If you miss the garbage truck, run ahead of it and put it in your neighbor's trash can
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Strange but true: Cartoon show based on the Rubik's Cube
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| (Janesville Gazette) |
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Orfordville, WI needs street names for its industrial park; any ideas? (with voting)
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| (IV Press Online) |
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Language barrier prevents rescue of man from underground water tank. "Help. Get me out of here." in Spanish sounds a lot like "Nothing to see here. Move along"
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Head of hospital is charged with illegally charging an arm and a leg for, well, an arm and a leg
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Arguing over the Special Olympics is like running in the Special Olympics..
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| (DING!!!!) |
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Carnie mistakes co-worker for test of strength
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| (OCRegister) |
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Tokyo opens its first naked bathhouse theme park. "Space Mountain" ride renamed "Elderly sagging titty"
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FBI agents looking for drugs find Academy Award. Michael Moore still an asshat
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| (people.co.uk) |
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It's not often you hear about an in-flight helicopter riot, but here you go
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Photoshop the cover of the new Harry Potter book
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Hubble Space Telescope captures the brightest star in our galaxy (with pics)
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Mormon crickets make the streets flow with the blood of the non-believers
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Farmer cuts off fingers to save self; he was hallucinating about a barbecue
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| (Tampa Tribune) |
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Father's Day doesn't mean much when you're a prison bitch
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| (Some Astronomer) |
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Noctilucent Clouds
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In honor of Father's Day, Top 10 bad big-screen dads. Heeeeeeere's Daddy
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| (Some Guy) |
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Patricia Velasquez gallery --- mostly SFW
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| (Some Guy) |
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Happy Fathers' Day to Farkers' dads, Farkers who are dads, and Fb- (link goes to Fark)
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| (Orlando Sentinel) |
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Catnip may help control termites. Insert "pussy" and "wood" jokes here
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| (Orlando Sentinel) |
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What a pisser. Man is shot dead after parking on top of a septic tank
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Coca-Cola planning root-beer float in a can. Giant-penis float in a can not far off
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Photoshop President Bush in front of Marine One
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A look at the great TV Dads in history
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| (Terra Lycos Network) |
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Brazilian hotness Barbara Koboldt. SFW at first, progresses smoothly into NSFW goodness
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Hobbit currency to become legal in New Zealand
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Tony Roma dead at 78. Meat maker meets maker
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| (Consumer Reports) |
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Seek medical attention if you get poison ivy on your groin. Also, seek psychiatric attention if you feel compelled toward botanical frottage
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Injunction granted against SpikeTV after judge falls into the black hole that is Spike Lee's ego
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Honor student to be jailed for robbing McDonald's
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Kid bites teacher -- teacher bites kid. Parents glad kid didn't soil himself
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| (Houston Chronicle) |
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Your meat may contain factory worker
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| Sat June 14, 2003 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Man's attempt to urinate out the window of a moving car thwarted by Darwin
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| (Science Blog) |
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Scientists conclude even heterosexual women find lesbians hot
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Scientists study mummies to learn secrets of tuberculosis, Joan Rivers
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| (Some Guy) |
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Fourteen arrests in school water-balloon fracas
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Soiled dildos often returned to companies after several uses
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The Hatfields and McCoys officially end their feud
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| (Galveston County Daily News) |
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Giant-penis float draws complaints. "Fifty gallons of root beer and two scoops giant penis" jokes ensue
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Seniors get their money back from crappy fourth-grade investment
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Bhutan finally got its first TV four years ago, is now racked by crime and obesity
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| (klastv) |
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Dog named "Blaze" saves family from house fire
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Amish man is jailed for dealing drugs. WTF?
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| (Contra Costa Times) |
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Famous bra fitter's cup is empty at 94. Farkers mob employment office.
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Every funeral at Waffle House comes with bottomless cup of coffee
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"Step right up and win a prize." How to win at carnival games
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| (Deepika Kerala News) |
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Girl with four eyes, two mouths and two noses born in Nepal.
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Restaurant 'recycled' soft drinks and rice
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Woman can't stand labor pains, jumps into well. And then successfully gives birth. Fb- the amazed father
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| (Peoples Daily) |
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From the department of things we already forgot about: SARS travel warning for China dropped
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Comedian kids try out firecracker routine at police station. Cops prove to be tough crowd
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| (Jacksonville.com) |
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Two people try sushi for the first time. Hilarity ensues. Suprisingly long
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Photoshop this hanging Ford banner on a building
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Woman who reported finding Columbia audio cassette admits it was all a hoax
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| (Yoni) |
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Lingam Gnosis: The ancient art of penis reading (not safe for work)
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A new way to kill sharks, just jump in the water naked
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| (Popular Mechanics) |
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Roswell declassified. The truth is not out there
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People who believe in bad luck more likely to have bad luck
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Naked man scales fence and scurries around at La Guardia Airport
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| (TheStatesman.com) |
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Website of Calcutta Police has become a Canadian pornographic site (w/links, article safe for work)
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Government deploys highly-trained "sentinel chickens" to track West Nile virus. If you see them, don't eat them
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Do womens' periods really sync up with each other?
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JK Rowling, Harry Potter author, could become the first author billionaire
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| (Mirror.co.uk) |
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Engineer drowns in vat of hot paint. Always claimed he was primed for his brush with death
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| (The Australian) |
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I saw an extinct turtle. And it breathes through its ass
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1940's ordinance requires Sheriff to auction off unclaimed goat on county courthouse steps
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Atlanta Farkers won't get to see the Maxim's Hottest 100 TV special because "It's not consistent with NBC's emphasis on quality programming."
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Burglar who says he cannot enjoy sex after he was shot robbing home is given the right to sue for damages
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| (MaineToday.com) |
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Woman arrested for grand theft puppy
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| (theage.com) |
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Everything you never wanted to know about old people sex (w/ incredibly disturbing pic)
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Where in the world is Tariq Aziz?
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| (Rapture Index) |
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Rapture Index falls 2 points. We're now less likely than before to bring about apocalypse and second coming of Jebus
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British riddled with the VD
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| (WTOP) |
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Sperm bank which accepts only highly educated donors finding only wack jobs and jerk-offs
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The Texas "No Call" list is about as useful as a posted speed limit sign
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Vicar supports explicit sex teaching
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New digital x-ray machine revolutionizing medicine
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| (WTOP) |
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Archaeologists learning more about what America's first president did after he left office by excavating George Washington's distillery
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Chinese chef upset that Viagra is overtaking his sales of snake penises
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this wedding veil monstrosity
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England rugby team beat the mighty All Blacks
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Photoshop what Jason Kidd is reacting too
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Want to make Monopoly games really annoying and difficult? Try the 1982 Parker Brothers Playmaster
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| (The Times of India) |
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Ben Affleck says J-Lo's a virtual virgin: "She has been with just five guys in her whole life," Ben claims. (link died)
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| Fri June 13, 2003 |
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The illusion of "another Vietnam"
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Halle Berry named "Sexiest Woman in the World" by FHM
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Roger Clemens gets 300th win, 4,000th strikeout. Also has record for most legitimate kids for an athlete
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Being fat can make you go blind
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Morgan Fairchild still a hottie. Denies rumor that she is undead
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Space-station crew spots UFO
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| (mlive.com) |
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Woman who impaled herself on mic stand will be okay, deliver child on expected due date. After birth, plans duet career and variety show
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Employees turn Waffle House into memorial for regular customer who died. Ashes were scattered, smothered, and covered in favorite parking spot
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Man spends 30 years trying to get a cop to kill him, can finally mark that off his "to do" list
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Albania starts a donkey-taxi service. If you like the ass, you gotta tip it
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Coke employee fired for drinking Pepsi on the job
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Communities shave time off yellow lights to increase ticket revenue
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| (Cambridge Reporter) |
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Morons turn out in droves on full-moon Friday the 13th
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| (610wtvn) |
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Columbus, Ohio CBS affiliate interrupts local family programming last night to bring you local news anchor Angela Pace flipping you the bird
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| (RDAnderson.com) |
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SFW Richard Dean Anderson SG gallery
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| (OOps Celebs!) |
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Stargate SG1s Amanda Tapping (not safe for work)
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Photoshop Edgar the Bear, master of attacking at worst possible moments
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Fox grabs exclusive broadcast rights to next four wars
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Republican Senate candidate who accused his opponent of being soft on child molestation gets 37 years for child molestation
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Kids who snore do worse in school. Kids who sleep during school don't do that well in the first place
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| (Worth1000) |
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Worth1000 needs $4000 to stay open to the public (Link goes to current contest.)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Farker Badger and wife are making first trip to Las Vegas for 10th anniversary. Need suggestions for cheap (free) "must see" attractions (with voting)
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Chuck Woolery and his unnaturally large head get reality series
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Dwarves rise to the occasion: Ban fails to pass
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Man fishing in France nets 66 pounds of weed. Explains recent rash of fish who don't care when they get caught
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Sewage main bursts, covering New Jersey neighborhood in feces. Property values skyrocket
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Metallica upset its music being used as a WMD in Iraq
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| (Some Guys) |
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Halo 2 video out from the fine folks at Bungie.net
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Olsen twins turn 17 today
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Norwegian state broadcasting to help in fight against dangerous boobies and big red penises with feet
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William Jefferson Clinton, mayor of New York City
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Turns out that the funding given to the Iraq war was more than enough to pull off the job
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Spammers attempting to destroy the Internet
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Photoshop William Bastone, editor of The Smoking Gun. Fark takes no responsibility for contest participants ending up as future TSG stories
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Iranians chanting "Death to the Ayatollah" in street demonstrations
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Tell us about the songs that you can't stand to hear anymore
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Calista Flockhart says Harrison Ford definitely not handsome in the morning
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| (Greenwich Time) |
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A brief history of Friday the 13th
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| (Yes, I'm proposing on Fark) |
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Farker NullZoid wants his lurker girlfriend Monique to marry him. Will she realize it's a trap?
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Britain declared "nation of alcoholics." Irish promise to get their title back in rematch
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President Bush has trouble riding the Segway
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National security adviser sees hope in Mideast despite violence. That echo you hear is the sound of the same thing being said throughout history
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Ugly-ass baby elephant born with ugly-ass hairdo. Takes the label "ugly ass" to new heights
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If you're going to saw off your wife's head and stuff it in a suitcase, make sure your phone number isn't inside the suitcase
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| (Some Guy) |
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Sexy Swedish girl Marie (99-percent SFW)
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Anonymous caller claims she has missing shuttle tape
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Woman shoots husband after argument over who should feed the goats
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Proposed bill would let spamees sue spammers
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| (Various Collectors) |
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Jennifer Connelly, sexy star of The Hulk, bares all in this gallery. Banner, sidebar ads, some thumbnails on page NSFW
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Hugh Jackman at the Tony Awards
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Supreme Court returns sex.com to the original owner
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NYC Fark Party, July 25-27. Be there or be square
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Ft. Worth, Texas Fark Party, June 21st.
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| (Zap2It) |
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TNN's name change to Spike TV (temporarily) stopped by Spike Lee
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Getting into indie rock usually requires getting into Winona Ryder
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| (Mr. Cranky) |
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"Meet buddy cops Joe (Harrison Ford) and K.C. (Josh Hartnett). Oh, wait, you already have, at least a thousand times"
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Emperor Hirohito considered making personal apology for World War II
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Forty percent of Americans iron while naked
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Farker Manifest finishes first on tonight's Amazing Race, comments on how the Viennese sewers smell "like ass"
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| Thu June 12, 2003 |
| (Lileks.com) |
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"I haven't written much about the 'Roadmap to Peace' for the same reason I wouldn't write much about attempts to crossbreed a llama with a vacuum cleaner: I don't think it's going to work."
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these classy Cock fans reminding everyone who's Numero Uno
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| (ComputerWorld) |
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Eighty percent of cybercrime incidents in the financial sector go unreported. They admit however, that there is no actual data to support this statistic
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| (Teenirc.net) |
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A student created a fake airline and made mad money
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| (KCCI) |
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Small Iowa school offering online school enrollment for K-7
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| (KCCI) |
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Mark your calendars: First annual Mystic Goat Race scheduled for July 5th
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Man shoots bear in ass -- claims bear was after his sweet, sweet pork chops
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| (Hoosier Times) |
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Police investigating fourth incident of man furiously masturbating in his garage, beckoning neighbors to join him
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| (Bergen Record) |
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Woodpecker has a woody for side-view mirrors on parked cars (with pic)
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Most no-hitters thrown by crappy pitchers
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| (Willamette Week) |
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Couple buys house next to golf course. Hires lawyer when golf balls land in yard
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Things to do whilst waiting for the Northern Ireland football team to score
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College courses foreshadow tech comeback. Because colleges so accurately reflect real life
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NY Times' "man on the street" is the same guy for every story
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Topless darts make TV comeback
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Marine says he's still in love with wife who arranged to have him killed in a grenade attack
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Woman stunned when she finds old lottery ticket worth $3.8 million buried in her purse
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Dwarf Tossing Ban Act debated in Canada's parliament
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| (CNSNews) |
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American Psychiatric Association debates lifting pedophilia taboo
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Homer Simpson voted best American of all time, ahead of Thomas Jefferson and Abraham Lincoln
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Man pleads guilty to driving without a license since 1984, drives away, gets 37th trip back to jail
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J-Lo and Ben Affleck have to reshoot scenes for new movie because test audiences felt no sexual chemistry
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| (AP) |
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Government may replenish rare $2 bills
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Vodaphone agrees not to fire its CEO by text message or e-mail
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Britney to get boobs that throb
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Astros second baseman Jeff Kent didn't know about no-hitter against Yankees until game was over
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Nine galleries featuring every Charlie's Angels actress (not safe for work)
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Tiger Woods' outfits picked out more than a year in advance. Not surprisingly, all items say "Nike" on them
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Baseball players developed world's most sophisticated language based on ball-scratching
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| (Angryworld.com) |
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Bush offers Middle East factions a new roadmap to the "back of my hand" (NSFW)
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| (Denver Post) |
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Telemarketer to family: "Yeah, did you understand that? (Expletive) hanging up on somebody like that again. (Expletive) I'm coming in your (expletive) house, you (expletive). What the (expletive) you gonna do? I'll (expletive) kill you"
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| (Zap2it) |
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How does the Hulk keep his pants on?
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Justice of the peace fined for showing customers the piece in his pants
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1,500-year-old chocolate goes on display: "It doesn't look a day over 1,400"
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New boyband hoping to emerge from now free Iraq
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Actor Gregory Peck has died at 87
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop the side of a U-Haul with better representations of the 50 states. Link goes to a page featuring the Giant Shroom truck of Michigan
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Sacramento city council member complains that half of students in local schools are still below the 50th percentile
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Company bans employees from smoking in their own homes
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Competition measures men by how many sheep they can do
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Popularity of mascot causes duck pond to be built at Aflac headquarters
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Miss Universe slide show (safe for work)
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Palestinian kill Israelis, Israelis bulldoze Palestinian's home. "Road map" doesn't allow for violence off-ramps
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| (OCRegister) |
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Hersheys selling green chocolate syrup to compete with Heinz's green ketchup
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Cab drivers' lives read like letters to Penthouse
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Astronauts in space take strange photo of the Moon floating in Earth's atmosphere (pic)
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| (QSR) |
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McDonald's to put Sega handheld games in with Happy Meals
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| (East Anglian Daily Times) |
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Suffolk woman complains to council that neighbour's horse urinates too loudly
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David Brinkley dies at 82. Pre-manufactured CNN tribute page expected soon
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| (Some Guy) |
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Fish discover pleasure in porn
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Adam Ant decides last drunken outing wasn't embarassing enough, decides to strip this time
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| (New Zealand News) |
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College students spend more on beer than on rent
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Photoshop these things with giant heads mourning at a protest
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Michael Bolton sent to prison for 25 years for forcible sodomy
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Entire Baghdad Museum looting story a crock. "These days you cannot say anything too bad about the Yanks and not be believed."
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| (mserv) |
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A.I. that plays 20 Questions. Knows most bad words already
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| (Newsfilter) |
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The Matrix Reloaded: Monica Belluci, undressed (not safe for work)
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| (WSFA) |
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Thousands of street signs being stolen in one county. "Booger Hollow Road" and "'That Ain't It Road" signs high on the list
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Survey finds 50 percent of kids age 13 claim to have had oral sex. "I did too. You don't know her... she lives in Canada"
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Ten-year-old kid commits second driving offense
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| (Some Guy) |
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If Lincoln had had PowerPoint at Gettysburg
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Witch will compel Loch Ness Monster to appear with spell
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Man accused of being drunk is put in jail for violating probation, stuffs his clothes down the toilet to prove he's sober
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| (Some Guy) |
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Charlotte Bobcats unveil new logo. Design them a better one
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| (Bangor Daily News) |
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Runaway cows continue to elude farmer through smart tactics. "We know where eight of them are but when they come out in the field and they see us, they run in the woods"
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| (A-ha.com) |
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Singer of A-Ha to release own line of bread. Baaaaaaake oooonnnnn meeeeeeeee
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| (charleston.net) |
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Marriage that began on coon hunt just went downhill from there
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Man tries to save $55 delivery charge by driving lawn mower home from Lowe's. Gets $78 ticket for being cheap
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| (Right Wing News) |
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If Bush lied about WMD, then so did a lot of Democrats
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| Wed June 11, 2003 |
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Yanks lose to Astros in a combined no-hitter. First no-hitter against Yanks since '58. Duke sucks
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| (The Indy Channel) |
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Comcast cable cracking down on people who receive free channels and don't report it
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America's millionaires slightly poorer than before, still millionaires
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Photoshop the Taco Bell Dog in all his glory
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| (Post Gazette) |
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Don't pay your hooker enough, get charged with rape
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| (WKYC) |
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Woman caught breastfeeding while driving on turnpike
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| (WAFB) |
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Wrestling a burglar and killing him with his own gun deserves a "hero" tag, but forgetting to hide three pounds of pot afterward gets the "dumbass" tag
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| (Some Guy) |
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Farker Flickinator needs to plan boobieless bachelor party. Bride-to-be not allowing groom-to-be to go to nudie bar. Please suggest alternatives
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Hospital keeps faxing patient reports to Mike Dosskey's house and he's getting pissed off
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| (Some Gal) |
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Men for all seasons (safe for work)
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China cracks down on Russian linguists. Cunning linguists may be able to evade ban
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Inmate sues Nebraska for failing to deliver his mail
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Attend the 3rd Annual Nigerian Email Conference
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"We are not a group of stupid, naïve women," said the group of 50 who thought they were engaged to the same soldier in Afghanistan
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Hans Blix lashes out at "bastards" in Washington for trying to smear him. What, the whole city?
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| (Boston Herald) |
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What you say? The singles released by the American Idol guys suck? That's unpossible
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Hot, new female Terminator talks about T3: Rise of the Machines
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Beauty contest for little kids scraps "sexy bodies" category
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Norwegian women become Internet butt models without knowing it
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Jerry Springer announces he's forming exploratory committee for U.S. Senate race. Committee to be composed of dwarves, cross burners, Siamese twins and skanky hos
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Vancouver police vow to bust up play featuring oral sex. Even if the theatre has a licker-license
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Do we really need to be told not to put firecrackers in our mouths?
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School district pays $190,000 in damages when student contracts herpes in wrestling match
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| (Mid-Day Mumbai) |
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Doctors remove 55kg of plastic from cow
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Lawsuit valedictorian to skip graduation altogether
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| (CourtTV) |
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Woman pays second fine for writing obscene comment on check
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England 2, Slovakia 1 -- 50,000 Scots mumble to themselves, go back to drinking beer
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| (Florida Today) |
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Uncle Sam wants you to be all you can be, and he doesn't care that you're seven years old
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Plans for graduation party interrupted when police dig up five bodies in yard
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Mom zaps daughter with stun gun for using home computer
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| (TDN) |
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Shoeless man in his skivvies chases away bear with a chunk of rebar
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| (NBC 24 Toledo) |
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Man squeezes five cows into '96 Camry
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Hanged man cleared after 53 years. Not expected to release book
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Kentucky Derby winner War Emblem puts owners in $17 million quandry for refusing to hump dames
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Hot-teen grunting action distracts opponents and male tennis umpires
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U.S. suffers from massive trade deficit in cow dung/urine industry
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Bill Clinton calls Sammy Sosa to offer advice
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Former bodyguard says Hilary wanted to get busy
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Six thousand men get drunk and beat themselves to a pulp to ensure richer, more prosperous crops
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England 0, Slovakia 1 -- 50,000 Scots die laughing. Pin heard dropping in Middlesborough
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| (Sedalia Democrat) |
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Man unleashes army of bees in Wal-Mart in order to steal $61.48 in merchandise
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Viewers point out cartoon mermaid has smaller breasts
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Dial-a-Dog at Safeco Field -- Just one more hopeless attempt at getting fans to stay in their seats
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| (iFilm.com) |
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Kelly Preston gets naked. Scientology surrenders (video not safe for work)
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Photoshop what this British policeman is smiling about
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Pregnant woman impaled by mic stand after fall, swears off karaoke
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| (Some Orsm) |
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Red-headed goddess Heather Christensen (not safe for work)
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Globetrotter "Clyde the Glide" and Richard Hertz indicted for $10M mail fraud scheme. All together now: Who's Dick Hertz?
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| (People News) |
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Renee Zellweger prepares for next movie by eating 20 doughnuts a day for five weeks
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Sosa'a suspension reduced to seven games
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Years of fending off drunks comes in handy as woman fights off crocodile
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Fourth graders save over one million pennies, blow it all on shaky investment.
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Warriors in loincloths less scary than warriors completely naked
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| (some girl) |
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Kelly Brook (not safe for work)
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| (Shore Line Times) |
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When at first you don't succeed at public masturbation, get arrested for third time
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Konami introduces cellphone that doubles as control for remote-controlled cars. Up up down down left right left right B A start
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Cargo rocket arrives at International Space Station with desperately needed frog music
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The Suns, who play in America West Arena, only fly Southwest
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Man who needlessly paid sewer bills for 24 years figures out he has been on septic tank all along
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| (Thedailytimes.com) |
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Tennessee governor signs bill into law allowing motorcyclists to run red lights if they "exercise due care"
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Worldcom exec: ''Show those numbers to the f***ing auditors and I'll throw you out the f***king window''
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Tourist in NY sues transit authority because subway conductor was not friendly or helpful
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Useful phrases David Beckham will need when he plays for Real Madrid
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Hollywood is out of ideas: Transformers to become live-action movie
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Joke will be on Australia when they lose against Welsh in rugby
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Photoshop John Ashcroft with some very confidential documents
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| (Some Guy) |
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Giant Penis Guy wins lawsuit to have 10 Commandments removed from schools
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| (Juneau Empire) |
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Woman loses $50,000 hidden in bear. Was apprehensive about reporting it, insists it's not drug money
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| (The Oregonian) |
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Public officials, eyeing solution for guide dogs, shocked by electric train tracks
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Universal Studio promises final version of The Hulk will not look as cheesy as the trailer. Honest. Really. They swear
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop Wil conquering some driftwood
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| (QCOnline) |
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As fun as it may sound, don't put bluegills in your mouth
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Husband sues marriage counselor for having sex with his wife
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| Tue June 10, 2003 |
| (India Times) |
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New wakeup service lets you be awakened by Pamela Anderson for $8. Still not as effective as being awakened by Gilbert Gottfried
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| (Pacific Business News) |
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Airline ordered to stop pretending it flies to Hawaii
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Orioles fan runs onto field, throws cork at Sosa. Other Orioles fans don't get the joke
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Deranged man pulled off street turns out to be woman missing for 53 years
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| (wnbc.com) |
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New Jersey Devils don't know where to have victory celebration because they're a turnpike exit
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When confronted by cops, drunk and pantless priest repeatedly asks them to give him blowjobs
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Canadian theatrical history being made with first on-stage blowjobs
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| (Scientific American) |
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Wrigley's patents Viagra chewing gum. Big Red abbreviating slogan to "longer"
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Justin Timberlake can school you on multi-player Halo
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| (Rapid City Journal) |
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Woman gives birth on hike up Crazy Horse monument
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| (wesh.com) |
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Florida registry of career criminals available online. But, the system is down, yo
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| (Vidasworld) |
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The Ass-tastic Vida Guerra has her own website. Probably not safe for work
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Madonna to sell clothes for Gap. Insert your own "Madonna" and "gap" jokes here
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Rumsfeld says Saddam directing Iraqi resistance even if he's dead
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Found mummy may be either Queen Nefertiti or Melanie Griffith
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Early humans lost their body hair as a result of selective breeding with those who could show they weren't covered in bugs. The existence of pubic hair continues to baffle the experts, needs more study
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| (Daily Bulletin) |
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Principal rewards student achievement by kissing goat
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Linkin Park singer released from hospital. Turns out hamsters are now classified as "parasites"
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| (Streaking.org) |
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Fark lurker BBCPFC planning to streak during school finals, what should his catch phrase be? Link goes to inspiration
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| (CTV) |
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Parents fearful about child kidnappings warned not to become vigilantes; they should leave all hysterical overreaction to media and politicians
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War-ban pizza man will spend a week in the can
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Police raid minister's home, confiscate "holy herb" -- 200 marijuana plants integral to services at his church, The Center for Healing and Spiritual Renewal
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Article on mondegreens (when you mishear a lyric in a song and even if the words seem a bit daft or total nonsense, they simply stay in your head and you always sing them that way); from Flashdance: "Take your pants down and make it happen"
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Massachusetts requires reduction in art and other things hanging in classrooms. Claims they are fire hazards
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this guy doing his best John Travolta impersonation
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Tatu duo more popular than Michael Jackson in Japan
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Beckham rejects Barcelona
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Police looking for place to nap find a dead guy on fire instead
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Girl gets towed away from 7-11 in locked van while mom gets coffee (with pics, video)
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FAA uncovers evidence that maintenance failure, not fat people, was cause of Charlotte crash
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The skies will soon be littered with NASA's space-age unmanned aerial vehicles
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Why are divorce laws unfair to men?
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Months of intense study and preparation needed for star of Dumb and Dumberer
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| (Lowell Sun) |
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Be on lookout for mysterious animal roaming streets. It's bigger than a dog, smaller than media hysteria
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| (Some Guy) |
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Making 'em laugh is good for picking up chicks, not so good for robbing convenience stores
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| (Twin Cities) |
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Police say "Spandex Man" has a habit of asking women to rate him while he fondles himself
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Ten words every high school graduate should know. Oddly, all are different from George Carlon's seven words
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| (pottstown mercury) |
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Man puts up sign in front of business declaring innocence in roadside masturbation incident
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| (Austin Statesman) |
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Local reader asks he it's OK to wear only a thong while jogging
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Diamond thief passes the evidence
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 |
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Apple enters iLoo fray with Pee4 laptop
|
| (Democrat & Chronicle) |
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Student hacks school's computer and deletes the junior class
|
| (National Review) |
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Senator holding up military promotions because he hasn't received his pork yet
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| (OC register) |
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Powell, Rice say Iraq's arms will surface. Head and torso probably won't
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 |
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Crazy cat woman fights city to keep 100 cats in dentist office
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Placebos can treat depression just as well as real drugs
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Pete Yorn says he wants penis-reduction surgery, because it's getting out of hand
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Pop star Mandy Moore to appear nude in flick
|
| (National Geographic) |
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Ugly-ass sculpture replaces Saddam statue in Baghdad
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| (des moines register) |
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Man tries to pick up women at Iowa salons without pants. Who says romance is dead?
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Martha Stewart gets a "discreet" mugshot and fingerprinting. Come on, Smoking Gun, you can do it! Smo-King Gun! Smo-King Gun!
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Manchester United offers David Beckham to FC Barcelona
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Classified memorials appear in NY Post from Gotti family members one year after his death
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 |
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David Letterman tells Paul Shaffer he has "tired-ass syndrome," plans to take unknown amount of time off. Tom Arnold to host show
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Deer smashes through window, chases woman
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this pop-up ad for healthcare reform
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 |
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Dutch police prone to partake
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Ruuuuuuuuuben to stop wearing 205 shirts. Owner of company ran out of fabric
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Man shoots burglar sneaking into toddlers bedroom. Gets three days in jail for disorderly conduct
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| (iafrica) |
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Men carjack driver for his BMW. Not satisfied with that, proceed to clothesjack him as well
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When I was a kid, growing up, the only stuffed animal I had was an old paint roller with eyes... I called him Rex
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Scrotally applied testosterone patches no more effective than other delivery methods but make wearers feel more masculine
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Melanie Griffith's face about to explode
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| (Madison Courier) |
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Exploding aerosol air freshener awakens woman in mobile home fire. May be only known incidence of mobile home in country equipped with air freshener
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| |
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Quick, photoshop the pope before he falls asleep again
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| (Pioneer Press) |
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Due to budget cuts, the Minneapolis Public Library system has dropped its earthquake insurance
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Iraqis making jokes about Saddam; U.S. troops making jokes about the French
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