Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Archives for 2002-08-25

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Sun August 25, 2002
	Someone wants to ban haggis in Scotland. source: news.bbc.co.uk \| share:	65
	2 girls missing in Or since winter. Self described "#1 suspect" gives interviews to every newspaper around for months. His house finally searched. Remains found. All hail the FBI source: salon.com \| share:	193
	Speaking swedish makes you healthier source: iol.co.za \| share:	34
	Satanist could be the first tried under new death penalty law. source: azcentral.com \| share:	111

	US team from Kentucky beats Japan for Little League World Series title source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	92
	Cop behind Texas K-Mart raid stripped of badge source: chron.com \| share:	82
	People watch women's sports because Martina Hingis wears a thong source: money.cnn.com \| share:	85
(Some Biker Chick)	Farkette Abby Normal starts biker club for fark readers. source: groups.yahoo.com \| share:	94
	Priest slaps 3 year old during baptism because she wouldn't stop crying source: apondemo.mm.ap.org \| share:	96

	Nature has a way to deter incest. Apparently, the first step towards inbreeding is a bad sniffer. source: www3.cosmiverse.com \| share:	55
	Boys will always compete, girls won't. Girls to become communists. source: newscientist.com \| share:	56
(Some Frenchman)	Enter to become French's "Mustard Man". Fark's cliche Mustard Man unavailable for comment. France surrenders. source: bender-hammerling.com \| share:	53
	Obese woman pulled over for driving while using knife and fork to eat source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	118
(Some Guy)	Queen of town's spam festival is a vegetarian. source: mailtribune.com \| share:	32
(Charlotte.com)	Church group take $14,000 worth of marine snails to eat. Could be fined $50,000. source: charlotte.com \| share:	63
(BLangdon)	Rules to driving like an idoit source: doggiesnot.com \| share:	93
(Newsday)	Man does $30,000 of damage with marble shooter source: newsday.com \| share:	69
(Some Guy)	Man accidentally fires gun. Twice. source: timesonline.com \| share:	60
	Obese woman pulled over for driving while using knife and fork to eat source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	63
(Observer)	Last orders for students: stop getting so drunk source: observer.co.uk \| share:	30
(himtimes.com)	Monkey sitting atop the statue of God for the past twenty-two days is attracting streams of people source: himtimes.com \| share:	74
(Online.ie)	Pennsylvania man allegedly tried to kill a friend who crept up behind him at a concert and yanked up his underwear source: online.ie \| share:	31
(Some Drunk Guy)	Sam Adams Oktoberfest Beer hits the shelves source: samadams.com \| share:	67
	teen prisoners get drunk at cricket event source: news.com.au \| share:	11
(upi.com)	Age defines what you find scary in a movie source: upi.com \| share:	58
(orange-today.co.uk)	Welshman waiting to see if his giant ball made of rubber bands will bounce when it's dropped into the Grand Canyon source: orange-today.co.uk \| share:	49
	Violence erupts at Earth Summit. With this many people and this many ideas is anyone surprised? source: cnn.com \| share:	133
(Some Guy)	Muslim girl slices tomato in half, finds "There is only one God" and "Mohammed is the messenger" written inside in Arabic, with pictures . source: einterface.net \| share:	190
(Some Guy)	Photoshop this viking god weilding a giant wrench. source: trygve.com \| share:	101
(Some Guy)	Theme: Fark holiday cards. source: arizonahighways.com \| share:	84
	Photoshop this air guitarist source: us.news2.yimg.com \| share:	83
(old times)	Photoshop Theme: Failed Kids' Breakfast Cereal source: theoldtimes.com \| share:	129
	Photoshop these fine looking specimens of manhood source: us.news2.yimg.com \| share:	105
(Harvard.edu)	Requirements to be a Harvard undergrad source: college.harvard.edu \| share:	112
	What Was The Best Comic Book Ever? Link Goes to Somewhere source: gimp.es.gnome.org \| share:	350
(Some Chachi)	What was your favorite TV show as a kid?(link goes to The Fonz) source: gasolinealleyantiques.com \| share:	481
	NYC firefighters told not to accept free meals source: news.bbc.co.uk \| share:	43
	Hong Kong hospital offers blue light special surgery source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	30

Sat August 24, 2002
	Students who violate dress code this school must wear T-shirts with words "Tomorrow I will dress for success." Goths now dressing up in Armani suits. source: azcentral.com \| share:	129
	Rhode Island to offer Mr. Potato Head license plates source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	34
(Some Buckeye)	Ohio State; The greatest football team to ever grace God's green earth, wins yet again. source: sports.yahoo.com \| share:	108
(Some Guy)	Play some Curveball. source: mataos.com \| share:	84
	Best clubs to spot celebs in Vegas source: usatoday.com \| share:	32
	The 50 Sexiest Toon Babes of All Time source: retrocrush.com \| share:	260
(Some Guy)	Viking Creationist propaganda. source: trygve.com \| share:	40
	One in four men pee in shower source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	210
	"XXX" gets the flashing red light of sin source: capalert.com \| share:	66
	3 shot at memorial service for guy who was shot at anti-violence rally. source: boston.com \| share:	39
(Some Guy)	Italian to prosecute entire catholic religion source: anti-religions.org \| share:	154
(Some Guy)	Gang activity, Proverty and other problems are directly caused by the Federal Reserve source: bankindex.com \| share:	79
	Muslims oppose Miss World contest source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	78
	Things that must be destroyed or at least partially devoured by rabid wolves source: i-mockery.com \| share:	40
	Rich Kuwait & Egypt diplomats refuses to pay New York City $2.1 million from over 25,000 unpaid parking tickets source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	75
	Overclock your house. source: bbspot.com \| share:	32
	18 "kidnapped" gnomes dumped on the steps of the State Library in Melbourne Australia source: heraldsun.news.com.au \| share:	18
(Some d00d)	Don't have any ninja death stars? Use cards. source: students.db.erau.edu \| share:	61
	Jethro Tull's Ian Anderson auctions off signed flute for charity. source: cgi.ebay.com \| share:	49
(Some Guy)	Same Egyptians who hate U.S. sleep with the dead, refuse to stop. source: voanews.com \| share:	62
	ARod offers to take a pay cut if it makes the game better source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	93
	God bless this inflatable church source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	49
(marykateandashley.com)	Caption the Olsen twins getting busted by the man source: marykateandashley.com \| share:	198
	Scarecrow left on guard at Brazilian prison source: news.bbc.co.uk \| share:	39
(arcataeye.com)	When that 'not so smart' feeling strikes; Arcata Log Update source: arcataeye.com \| share:	32
(People)	Eminem says he will never procreate again source: people.aol.com \| share:	138
	Scarecrow found guarding inmates source: sky.com \| share:	22
	Another one-sided article about why video games are the root of all evil. Parental responsibility not even mentioned by asshat reporter. source: msnbc.com	152
(Some Guy)	Ever wondered if Anna Kournikova would want you? Take a second and find out which celebrities are your perfect match. source: celebmatch.com \| share:	284
	Bad idea gone public: Jack Daniels selling 'Hard Cola' malt beverage. Target market - uppity backwoods yokels source: courierjournal.com \| share:	45
	Man with no balls gets disqualified from tournament source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	15
	That blood 'n' guts movie you had to watch during Driver's Ed has gotten a facelift source: cleveland.com \| share:	34
	1 out of every 25 American women is hooked on plumber�s crack source: weeklyworldnews.com \| share:	24
	Sometimes it's difficult to tell dreams from reality; everything is so surreal in America these days source: yellowtimes.org \| share:	34
(japantoday.com)	Saudis plan to sue U.S. over Sept 11 source: japantoday.com \| share:	69
	Vibrating condoms improve sex lives source: mdn.mainichi.co.jp	25
	Escaped emu mistaken for naked man source: reuters.co.uk \| share:	9
	Juvenile tried as adult after lying about her age. source: chron.com \| share:	20
(Some Evil Clown)	Spot-on description of the people of Fark. Which one are you? (repeat) source: winternet.com \| share:	46
	Zac "Mr Magnet" Munro wins 7th annual World Air Guitar Championship source: cnn.com \| share:	33
	Long Island to build six miles of wind turbine power plants in ocean source: enn.com \| share:	29
(World Net Daily)	Middle eastern nations hate the USA, but throw a fit when the USA will not increase monitary aid. source: worldnetdaily.com \| share:	80
	Secret Federal Court tells Ashcroft his "new broad anti-terror" powers go way too far. Also, says prosecutors have already abused existing laws. Secret Federal Court? source: msnbc.com \| share:	57
(Herald Sun)	Man steals ATM in broad daylight with forklift. source: heraldsun.news.com.au \| share:	23
	Pepsi Blue. Skeletor. Pokemon Battles. And the Kool-Aid Man. source: x-entertainment.com \| share:	43
	Help a brother out. Place Arsenio in a job setting. source: us.news2.yimg.com \| share:	121
(Some Horny Guy)	New computer game to feature lap dancing and nudity. Hold onto your joystick. (site possibly not safe for work) source: privatedancergame.com \| share:	28
(CBS 2)	Las Vegas Cow Parade 2002. source: cbs2.com \| share:	28
	Like to play the ponies?? Join the 'Fark Jockeys' on ESPN's Pick 6 Horse Racing game. You know the drill, log on, find 'Fark Jockeys' and let's ride. source: games.espn.go.com \| share:	17
(The Guardian)	Mother told to stop breastfeeding 8 year old boy. Oh the humanity. source: guardian.co.uk \| share:	134
	L.L. Cool J takes a break from his crappy acting career to pick up the remains of his once-great rap career source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	45
(Some Thor)	Viking long ship discovered in Loch Ness. Looks like Loki's messing around again. source: catalyst-highlands.co.uk \| share:	33
	81 Immigrants arrested for using a fake id, groups say they shouldn't be arrested. source: cnn.com \| share:	281
(Celebrity Sun)	Remember when she was in "My Father The Hero" with Gerard Depardieu? source: celebritysun.com	89
	Planet Earth should welcome aliens with open arms source: timesonline.co.uk \| share:	53
(Some Lore)	The Slumbering Lungfish, Lore "Brunching Shuttlecock" Sj�berg's other site. source: slumbering.lungfish.com \| share:	21
(Some Guy)	Rate my Kitten source: ratemykitten.com \| share:	86
(THCnet)	THCnet's 404 page (fun - repeat) source: thcnet.net \| share:	81
(Amazon)	This is a damn cool breadmaker. I have one at the office (Jeff) source: amazon.com \| share:	69
(Some Guy)	Second hand smoke: Using anti-science to pass laws source: upi.com \| share:	133
	Royal Canadian Mounted Police officer finds 3 inch knife next to dead cougar source: cnn.com \| share:	34
	Postman attacked by cat three times. Bad kitty. source: news.bbc.co.uk \| share:	45
(IowaFarmer)	Iowa Corn Cam (oldie) source: iowafarmer.com \| share:	31
	Flame Thrower car assessory (oldie) source: cnn.com \| share:	23
(Derek)	Derek's Wal-Mart receipts (oldie) source: lightning.prohosting.com \| share:	43
(TWINKIES)	Tests With Inorganic Noxious Kakes In Extreme Situations (oldie but goodie) source: twinkiesproject.com \| share:	22

Fri August 23, 2002
	The number of torture scenes on the networks doubled last season. source: csmonitor.com \| share:	41
(Longaberger)	Photoshop the Longaberger home office building source: longaberger.com \| share:	100
	America and Russia teaming up to take yugoslavia's uranium. source: timesonline.co.uk \| share:	46
(Orange Co. Register)	California entrepreneur sues Fax.com for $2.2 TRILLION dollars for sending out millions of junk faxes. Dr. Evil unavailable for comment. source: ocregister.com \| share:	68
	Judge throws out hyperlink patent lawsuit. source: chron.com \| share:	21
(Some Guy)	Photoshop theme: Failed theme park attractions (link goes to a worm themed ride) source: bonfantegardens.com \| share:	107
(Some Lonely G.I.'s)	God I love them flyboys. Authentic WWII bomber nose art. not safe for work source: sbl.salk.edu \| share:	151
	Britain celebrates 150 years of the public toilet source: fresnobee.com \| share:	25
(Some Chicken)	What can you do with 19 tons of eggs? Stop Traffic. source: gainesville.com \| share:	23
(Some Guy)	Miss adcritic? try ads.com source: ads.com \| share:	41
(Herald Sun)	Sex shop assistants beaten with "Blunt Objects" source: heraldsun.news.com.au \| share:	64
(David Weakly)	Photoshop Barney after Wil smoked his ass source: david.weekly.org \| share:	80
(Some Guy)	Photoshop these two friends of a Farker. source: mediaservice.photoisland.com \| share:	155
	Happy Fun Ball Dropped on Angola source: iol.co.za \| share:	79
	Study shows female lions prefer males with dark hair. Surfer lions upset. Still no cure for cancer. source: nando.com \| share:	40
(Western Daily Press)	Woman peeing in portable loo is charged by escaped bull source: thisisbristol.co.uk \| share:	52
	Photoshop Phriday: Extreme Sports source: somethingawful.com \| share:	136
	Strapped hospital slashes prices on circumcisions. No word on whether they'll accept competitors coupons. source: reuters.co.uk \| share:	60
	9-year-old girl attacks wild pig source: ncbuy.com \| share:	47
(dayton daily news)	Man dies after being set on fire while sleeping on porch. source: activedayton.com \| share:	41
	Pop-up ads are here to stay as advertisers think they're affective source: smh.com.au \| share:	125
	Scottish man beaten senseless by drunk teenage girls source: news.scotsman.com \| share:	128
(Pitch.com)	Man invents vibrating tampon that cures menstrual cramps source: pitch.com \| share:	274
(ampland)	Caprice Bourett pictures. not safe for work. source: celebrityy.com	108
(NY Daily News)	Chief Justice Rehnquist nailed for speeding...again. source: nydailynews.com \| share:	81
(Times-Dispatch)	State of Virginia tricks residents into funding a celebration for the 400th anniversary of Jamestown. source: timesdispatch.com \| share:	79
	Photoshop this drunken baseball fan holding sign saying "where else can I get 6 cans of beer for $35?" source: news.chinatimes.com \| share:	200
	Chicken skins could be used as steering wheel covers source: news.com.au \| share:	80
(Apple.com)	Apple to release live jaguars into Mac stores to celebrate OS X 10.2 source: crazyapplerumors.com \| share:	196
(NY Daily News)	TV reporter doing story on missing baby finds the missing baby source: nydailynews.com \| share:	55
	FOX slams CNN for airing terror tapes; now unable to create "World's Wackiest Terror Groups" special source: canoe.ca \| share:	116
	Boy forced to pay bus fare for pet hamster source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	66
	Driver walks away from what is being called the "worst wreck in NASCAR history" - car cut in half (with pic) source: espn.go.com \| share:	280
	Churchgoers upset about getting parking tickets on Sunday. "People in church should be exempt." source: kentucky.com \| share:	210
	"Has anyone unknown to you asked you to carry an item on this flight?" and "Have any of the items you are traveling with been out of your immediate control since the time you packed them?" may not be asked much longer. source: cnn.com \| share:	91
	Ford lobbies to ban ride sharing source: bbspot.com \| share:	28
(icBirmingham)	Boy passes exam even after bomb squad blows up his coursework source: icbirmingham.icnetwork.co.uk \| share:	34
(Canada.com)	Hey Boo-boo. Perhaps there is a pic-a-nic basket in this tire shop. source: canada.com \| share:	16
(Orlando Sentinel)	It is illegal to slander vegetables in Florida source: orlandosentinel.com \| share:	52
(Chortler)	Roman company misstated 20 B.C. financial results source: chortler.com \| share:	12
	Enron charities don't want to give back the money source: chron.com \| share:	17
	Drunken teen breaks into zoo and feeds lions ice cream source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	27
	Website gives man rude password to access site source: aftenposten.no \| share:	38
(x10 ads)	Photoshop this new X10 ad encouraging shotguns and cameras source: mediaservice.photoisland.com \| share:	81
	Opie and Anthony fired over stupid church stunt. source: nypost.com \| share:	275
(Dave Weekly)	Wil Wheaton vs. Barney Pictures source: david.weekly.org \| share:	33
	The top 100 worst Brits source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	98
(Some Guy)	Photoshop these farkers on a trip with KLM source: home.planet.nl \| share:	88
(Some Pub Crawler)	Knoxville PubCrawl is tonight and tomorrow night (August 23 and 24). source: zekemacneil.com \| share:	21
	ALF - The Alien Life Form who mixed comedy with fur so well that no one cared if he ate cats. source: x-entertainment.com \| share:	108
(Some Guy)	Photoshop Farker Tarvuz and his dog source: mediaservice.photoisland.com \| share:	88

Thu August 22, 2002
(Space)	Global warming is a scam. Ice levels actually increasing in the Antarctic. source: space.com \| share:	162
(CarTalk)	Photoshop suggestions for the Car Talk guys for what to do with 3.1 million yogurt lids that NPR won't let them use. source: cartalk.cars.com \| share:	109
(Pioneer Press)	Crowd demanding mayor's resignation includes mayor himself carrying a sign reading "Death to the Mayor" source: twincities.com \| share:	45
(Scranton Times)	Game experts offer three rules on how to deal with bears. Rule #3: "Do not try to ride them or invite them into your living room." source: zwire.com \| share:	49
(philstar)	Sex helps stroke victims recover faster source: philstar.com \| share:	60
(Some Guy)	Photoshop theme: propaganda for heavily armed youths source: a-human-right.com \| share:	236
	ALCU sues over evolution disclaimer in Georgia science textbooks source: foxnews.com \| share:	664
(Free Lance Star)	Man steals car to visit girlfriend in prison. Now they have even more in common. source: fredericksburg.com \| share:	12
	British philosopher says probability is 20-25% that we already live in the Matrix. source: telegraph.co.uk \| share:	172
(America's Weener)	Gators, pythons, West Nile mosquitos, giant toxic grasshoppers, and now rabid bats source: nbc6.net \| share:	43
(Pasadena Star News)	Cheerleader kicked off squad for crackers in bed source: pasadenastarnews.com \| share:	106
	Hurricane Andrew upgraded to a Category 5 ten years late source: chron.com \| share:	40
	TruthMedia Review: Final Fantasy X source: somethingawful.com \| share:	136
	Wacko Jacko's a dad again. Not sure if Fb- or space aliens are the father. source: thisislondon.co.uk \| share:	104
(Some Guy)	Theme: Photoshop unlikely celebrity couples. (Shield your eyes from the horror of the link) source: images.usatoday.com \| share:	169
	Jayson Williams co-defendant pleads guilty, turns state's evidence. Jayson prepares to toss the salad source: msn.espn.go.com \| share:	47
	Sure you've got a cell phone. But does your dog? source: theregister.co.uk \| share:	24
	The Moon could be the next Nuclear Waste dump source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	174
(Newstimes)	13 year old allowed to decide custody case; parents rush out to stock up on Xbox games and Mt Dew source: newstimes.com \| share:	64
	"McAfrika" burger not a hit in Norway for McDonald's source: aftenposten.no \| share:	140
	Paul Ronney wasn't looking for flaming balls. They came as a complete surprise (with pics) source: www3.cosmiverse.com \| share:	53
	Drug dealer claims tax deduction for $220,000 stolen in failed deal. source: smh.com.au \| share:	39
(Canada.com)	People attempt to get high eating houseplant. Hilarity ensues source: canada.com \| share:	78
(Some Guy)	Hang with Gary Coleman at a theme park source: ugo.com \| share:	70
	Two weeks before 9/11 and people are saying "enough already" with the tributes source: usatoday.com \| share:	311
	Drinking red wine improves your cholesterol level source: www3.cosmiverse.com \| share:	116
(Zap2it.com)	Robin Williams: Addicted to the Internet. Better than the last addiction source: zap2it.com \| share:	142
	Mug shots of two guys who tried to sell crack at a NARC convention source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	79
	Mom names kid after favorite brand of sauerkraut source: ncbuy.com \| share:	76
(Western Morning News)	British Farmer gets grain subsidy for field in the middle of the Atlantic source: westernmorningnews.co.uk \| share:	22
	Man uses jury summons as toilet paper, then mails it back to court officials source: local6.com \| share:	113
(central maine)	Man gored by his buffalo. Is that anything like spanking your monkey? source: centralmaine.com \| share:	32
(NBC5)	Man robs pharmacy, serves time, robs it again 20 years later, same clerk still on duty source: nbc5.com \| share:	46
	Bush under fire for suggesting removal of excess wood to ease fire risks source: cnn.com \| share:	263
	Yes, we buried the kids alive, but it was only for a little while source: news.com.au \| share:	60
(Some Guy)	Photoshop this fishin' farker source: wwptoday.com \| share:	123
	Americans unhappier with work, unhappiest in New England. Numbers improve when you remove Red Sox players. source: boston.com \| share:	117
	Felony charges dropped against mom in sunburn case source: azcentral.com \| share:	85
	Top 100 British heroes - includes Enoch Powell and Aleister Crowley source: news.bbc.co.uk \| share:	106
	Frats star in Arizona State University porn film source: azcentral.com \| share:	91
(Some Guy)	Jackass : The Movie Trailer source: apple.com \| share:	54
	Bigpeeler needs some fellow Farkers to join his ESPN NFL Football Challenge team. Team name is: Fark Football Fanatics. Join, play and maybe win a TV, camera, etc. source: games.espn.go.com \| share:	38
	Chemical discharged at Miami Airport was pepper spray. source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	24
	Why we must invade Iraq right now source: rad.msn.com \| share:	195
	Band plugging album titled 'Songs For The Deaf' stunned when deaf people show up at gig source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	58
	For sale: my bad luck. must go source: cgi.ebay.com \| share:	56
(Miami.com)	If you slept with supermodel Janice Dickinson, check to see if she mentioned you in her new book. source: broward.com \| share:	36
	Attention EuroFarkers: Jeff, Drew, and Heather are heading to Europe Sept 12th for three weeks. Let's have a beer or three source: fark.com \| share:	80
	The Miami Hurricanes are the most overrated college football team in the country. source: msn.espn.go.com \| share:	60
	The first time Russia sent a probe to Mars' moon Phobos, an alien ship destroyed it. 20 years later, they're trying again source: www3.cosmiverse.com \| share:	49
	The new Republican ideology: Suburban socialism source: slate.msn.com \| share:	64
(Right Wing News)	America isn't an empire, it's the planet's designated driver source: rightwingnews.com \| share:	132
	Keep your anti-Semitic comments away from us source: yellowtimes.org \| share:	250
(Robb's Celebs)	Pint-sized Scottish beauty Gail Porter (not safe for work) source: fortunecity.co.uk	129
	Zimbabwe changes its name source: satirewire.com \| share:	20
(The Blue Brick)	Anchorman admits most local news "Irrelevant", weather "Over-hyped". source: thebluebrick.net \| share:	35
(Some Guy)	Loverly Italian ladies (not safe for work) source: calcioflash.com \| share:	101
(Hulkmovie.com)	Photoshop a teaser poster for he Incredible Hulk movie, win prizes. 'nuff said. source: hulkmovie.com \| share:	73
(PageSix)	Jenifer Aniston didn't like getting naked in latest movie, but she did it anyway. source: pagesix.com \| share:	96
(Charleston.net)	Farker BloodyL's hometown newspaper polling on comics. Help him vote off "Judge Parker" and "Mary Worth" once and for all source: charleston.net \| share:	142

Wed August 21, 2002
(Space)	Saturn's moon Titan has worse smog than Los Angeles. source: space.com \| share:	36
	After talks with NBC fall though, Bill Clinton discusses daytime talk show with CBS. Photoshop some other possibilities for a show for Bill source: azcentral.com \| share:	52
	Some guy photographs an asteroid flying by Earth using a pair of binoculars (with pic) source: www3.cosmiverse.com \| share:	38
	33 (they're on a roll) source: arabnews.com \| share:	35
(Football365.com)	Condom company determines Beckham's 'penis is small' source: football365.com \| share:	125
	Anthrax killing enzyme found, do dah, do dah. source: cnn.com \| share:	43
	Man gets probation for introducing female co-worker to "Mr. Wiggly" source: canada.com \| share:	52
	Rewarding child with blue Mohawk backfires source: azcentral.com \| share:	65
	Mud Bug flavored cat food. Cats demanding beer to cool mouths source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	24
	French mayor bans residents from dying. Surrendering still OK. source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	33
	In praise of redheads - Angie Everhart. (SFW) source: fhmus.com	52
(TheAge)	"Because I said so" a completely valid reason to give to a whining child. source: theage.com.au \| share:	104
(Guardian)	How our war hawks evaded military service source: guardian.co.uk \| share:	153
(Oakland Tribune)	Man visits construction sites and asks for concrete or hot asphalt to be dumped in his car. source: oaklandtribune.com \| share:	37
	Baseball strike in nine more days, doo dah, doo dah, Hope they strike and stay that way, oh, the doo dah day. source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	127
(Some Guy)	Starbucks to customers: Surf for boobies here source: starbucks.com \| share:	42
(Some Guy)	Photoshop Farkette Clueyee for her birthday source: mediaservice.photoisland.com \| share:	129
(Sun Herald)	Mississippi yard decorations ruled 'excessive' source: sunherald.com \| share:	25
(Wilkes-Barre Times Leader)	Man who sued to prevent his ex-girlfriend from aborting fetus, which ended up in lost in a miscarriage, is now dating her again. Obviously, they are made for each other source: timesleader.com \| share:	57
(Errorwear)	Forbidden Girls who wear tight-fitting Error Messages (SFW) source: errorwear.com \| share:	65
(UNK.edu)	Escaped from cage in science building : One very large python. Answers to the name "Monty". On the plus side, the rodent problem is getting better. source: unk.edu \| share:	33
	CEOs continue to buy corporate jets even as they lay off thousands source: sfgate.com \| share:	107
	Why your girlfriend jerks around like an epileptic when she's falling asleep source: straightdope.com \| share:	107
(Some Gal)	David Beckham lots of pics (SFW) source: altosport.com \| share:	44
	Cadbury implies that its "Temptations" candy is "too good to share," just like Kashmir. Publishes this in Indian newspapers on Indian Independence Day. Hilarity ensues. source: cnn.com \| share:	59
(Some Guy)	Ken and Barbie get it on. Who has time to come up with this stuff? Not safe for work (link fixed) source: flowgo.com \| share:	46
	Cloned mammoth to be main attraction at wildlife and previously extinct wildlife park source: cnn.com \| share:	75
	Forrest Gump director being stalked by Jesus source: foxnews.com \| share:	22
	Wil Wheaton's weblog voted #1 source: sfgate.com \| share:	64
(Some Guy)	Become a member of the Boobie Patrol. Safe for work video with catchy tune. source: liquidgeneration.com \| share:	29
(via AICN)	Hollywood is out of ideas: X-Men 2 trailer released. source: x-men-the-movie.com \| share:	77
	Pics of Karyn from SaveKaryn.com. TSG says: They'd hit it source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	168
	When is one too old for breast feeding? 8? 9? 32? source: apnews.excite.com \| share:	120
(Guardian)	Robbie Williams is one of the 100 Greatest Britons of all time source: media.guardian.co.uk \| share:	59
(bloggerheads)	Theme: Photoshop an unfortunate time for the red X to occur. Link goes to a great example on bloggerheads. source: bloggerheads.com \| share:	184
	Jim Beam bourbon factory cuts back on employee bathroom breaks due to abuse source: kentucky.com \| share:	115
(Palm Beach Post)	How do you rid your state of polluted waters? Redefine the word 'polluted'. source: gopbi.com \| share:	73
(what really happened)	The CNN dog-gassing video is probably fake source: whatreallyhappened.com \| share:	389
	New Ford Field in Detroit opens Sunday: It's "shiny, new and unspoiled. And then the lions will take the field" source: freep.com \| share:	55
(Some Guy)	The always beautiful Milla Jovovitch (not safe for work) source: fortunecity.co.uk	130
(Economist.com)	Economics professor shows that money does indeed buy happiness source: economist.com \| share:	74
(Japan Today)	Japanese women dumping their fiances and becoming hookers to follow soccer star David Beckham back to England source: japantoday.com \| share:	64
(Newstimes)	World Series team disappointed teammate doesn't go past first base source: newstimes.com \| share:	35
(Some Guy)	Photoshop Phil, the Los Angeles county's "Prevent Syphilis" mascot. source: stopthesores.org \| share:	122
(SMH)	Form of autism causes computer hackers source: smh.com.au \| share:	59
(NY Daily News)	Cinderella and Romeo Shagwell registered to vote in New York. source: nydailynews.com \| share:	38
	Miami International Airport evacuated after passengers complain of breathing problems source: local6.com \| share:	61
	Rich German to will his fortune to last woman who sleeps with him source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	87
	Page 3 sisters trigger bets as to who will appear most in The Sun (not safe for work) source: thesun.co.uk	63
	Guy arrested for driving his lawnmower while drunk shows up for probation meeting while drunk source: boston.com \| share:	46
	Ethiopian e-commerce. Buy sheep online. Three different sizes. source: wired.com \| share:	52
	Congressman Bob Barr ousted along with Democratic incumbent in Georgia source: usatoday.com \| share:	173
	What's the hottest ticket in Scotland? "Jerry Springer - the Opera" source: nando.com \| share:	49
	Telescope images confirm missing $159 million spacecraft orbiting sun in pieces source: boston.com \| share:	64
	Photoshop this terrorist Fake ID maker source: imgfarm.com \| share:	79
(Liberty Haven)	Another story under the heading "Risk your life so others don't feel bad." Dominos drivers are forced to deliver to unsafe neighborhoods source: libertyhaven.com \| share:	204
(KTLA)	"No baby dumping" PSA stickers showing up on dumpsters, just in case source: ktla.trb.com \| share:	93
	Rhetoric on Iraq tests U.S. credibility. President Bush asks "Who is Rhetoric?" source: dfw.com \| share:	124
(benmaller.com)	Chicago Cubs bring back Steve Stone to do games on WGN. source: benmaller.com \| share:	42
(Some Farker)	Photoshop this farker having too much fun in the recycling barrel. source: wcug.wwu.edu \| share:	78
	Nintendo's Rad Racer video game review, sort of. source: x-entertainment.com \| share:	24
	Magic mushrooms help kill cancer source: www3.cosmiverse.com \| share:	46
(Some Guy)	Woman with begging website has paid off half her debt source: savekaryn.com \| share:	139
	Report says cloned animals safe to eat. Pork, the other genetically engineered white meat. source: cnn.com \| share:	64
(Some Farmer)	Tomatos $1.25/lb, corn $1.15/lb, weed $20/bag source: zwire.com \| share:	47
(Stuff.co.nz)	Jilted groom couldn't even get his fiancee's phone number right. Eighteen times. Yells at stranger instead source: stuff.co.nz \| share:	25
(Some Guy)	Photoshop farker WickedSatyr playing with his homemade flamethrower. source: wickedsatyr.org \| share:	79
(Bigfatdynamo)	Hey, I ordered a pizza. That's not a pizza. source: dominoespizza.com \| share:	96
(The Nation)	Countries move to privatize water. Next up: the criminalization of light and the auctioning off of air. source: thenation.com \| share:	67
	Mom faces charges after kids get severely sunburned source: azcentral.com \| share:	137

Tue August 20, 2002
(FCC)	FCC issued statement regarding O&A sex in church radio stunt source: hraunfoss.fcc.gov \| share:	78
	32! source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	65
	Don't fark with the Catholic Church. Possible license revocation for Opie and Anthony station source: cnn.com \| share:	270
	Mayoral candidate claims "God planted me here as a nuclear suppository up the Devil's colon." source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	31
(Some Guy)	Adriana Sklenarikova Gallery source: terra.es	91
	Thai government warns against cockroaches as pets source: thedenverchannel.com \| share:	47
	Telemarketer pays Denver man for violating the "no-call" list source: thedenverchannel.com \| share:	107
	NASA Telescope captures celestial fireworks display (cool pics) source: www3.cosmiverse.com \| share:	44
(Some Guy)	Man holds up bank but leaves fries behind source: fredericknewspost.com \| share:	31
	Sexual theme parks offer wild and raunchy rides source: mdn.mainichi.co.jp \| share:	79
(Some Guy)	Presenting the newest superhero: Stripperella (aka Pam Anderson). Super power: Lie-detecting boobies. Really. source: ew.com \| share:	64
	Sperm donor not allowed to visit his kids. source: kevxml2a.infospace.com \| share:	50
(Some Farkhead)	Company turns cremation remains into diamonds. Frisbees no longer seem so cool source: lifegems.com \| share:	86
(KGW.com)	Tonya Harding leaves her single-wide for new digs in jail source: kgw.com \| share:	57
(straitstimes.com)	Scientists solve mystery of Indian face-scratching alien attacks source: straitstimes.asia1.com.sg \| share:	57
(www.Freep.com)	World's slowest pedestrian killed by trolley moving 3 mph source: freep.com \| share:	41
(Some radio guy)	Photoshop this.....whatever this guy is doing source: wtks.com \| share:	183
	Wil Wheaton to appear on TechTV's The Screen Savers (Thursday, 7pm eastern) source: techtv.com \| share:	53
(Some Guy)	New signature file available for Ad-Aware source: lavasoft.nu \| share:	35
	Strong Bad's still on vacation: It's That Clock source: homestarrunner.com \| share:	84
	What Donahue didn't let an expert say about video-game violence source: salon.com \| share:	294
	Doing household chores can affect sex life. College students not affected. source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	182
	Fans drawn to corn replicas of Packers, Bears helmets source: azcentral.com \| share:	148
(Some Guy)	DJ censored for station's website obscenity, moves boobies to own site. Not safe for work? Flash source: corporateradiosucksass.com \| share:	58
(Some Admin)	Jeff is bored at the Rational User Conference in Orlando - come visit source: swandolphin.com \| share:	84
(Charlotte.com)	Kansas home mistakenly overvalued by more than $200,000,000. House now worth more than entire state. source: charlotte.com \| share:	59
	Hungry hungry pissed off hippo turns up after flood source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	54
	Yours for $225,000 - half a garage in London. source: thisislondon.com \| share:	35
(Some Guy)	Blow some time this afternoon taking this sex quiz. May not be safe for work source: madblast.com \| share:	112
	Naked man tried to break into cockpit of Air France plane. So many possible jokes, so little space. source: wjla.com \| share:	88
(Globe and Mail)	5,000-year-old skulls show evidence of brain surgery source: globeandmail.com \| share:	57
	Horse drinks 15 pints a day source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	37
	New sexual health museum opened in Sri Lanka built to help youth's answer tough sexual questions. Across room, brides must still stain their bridal gown with their blood to prove virginity or suffer misery from their husbands, families and in-laws. source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	43
(local6.com)	Show-Me debate: 'Missou-ree' beats 'Missou-ruh' source: local6.com \| share:	107
	Despite their differences, both America and China agree that 9/11 is an excellent way to crack down on dissent source: cnn.com \| share:	40
	Earthlink to begin blocking popup ads source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	59
	Pharmacy worker fired after putting very obscene instructions on woman's prescription source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	126
(NEA.ORG)	NEA website causing stir over 9/11 lessons blaming US for attacks. Read them and make up your own mind source: neahin.org \| share:	246
	Women love screaming "Go Cocks!" and manhandling Lou Holtz source: espn.go.com \| share:	45
	Interested in buying a space shuttle simulator? source: cgi.ebay.com \| share:	38
	Cop shoots at kids who wrapped his house in TP source: chron.com \| share:	136
(Some Guy)	Smokey Bear gets a new slogan source: nbc4.tv \| share:	38
(Some Guy)	Men: your guide to quickie sex etiquette source: askmen.com \| share:	70
(toledoblade.com)	Speaking of drunken pilots, even ultralight aviators are not immune to having a few and flying. source: toledoblade.com \| share:	13
	One-legged war veteran sets record for being oldest wing walker at 88 source: reuters.com \| share:	12
(local6.com)	Convicted killer says Miss Cleo psychic hotline led him to kill the wrong man source: local6.com \| share:	29
	Man receives package postmarked 12/13/1945 source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	30
(CBS2.com)	Man thinks by running naked over a bridge, it will rain source: cbs2.com \| share:	16
(Some Hoosier)	Scientists rank Indiana University top party school. Who do you think should have won? source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	144
	Kmart Cop: "I couldn't believe we were being told to arrest all those kids. It was just utterly, utterly senseless." source: chron.com \| share:	110
	Study confirms booze makes the opposite sex appear better-looking. source: iol.co.za \| share:	71
	Supreme Court to decide if you're allowed to shoot at pictures of Saddam Hussein source: foxnews.com \| share:	50
	NBC irate over faux report announcing development of reality show hosted by California teen rape survivors source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	35
	Hostages held in Iraqi embassy in Berlin by group opposed to Saddam Hussein source: news.bbc.co.uk \| share:	327
(Orlando Sentinel)	Giant grasshoppers rampage in Florida. Experts advise hitting them with a 2 x 4. source: orlandosentinel.com \| share:	91
	Survivor cast member's previous job was in porn (with pics) (linked page safe for work, NSFW content clearly marked on TSG site) source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	72
	Should U.S foreign policy be considered terrorism? source: yellowtimes.org \| share:	379
	Woman on cellphone that drove into pond thanks angels instead of blaming own idiocy source: jsonline.com \| share:	65
	N'Sync's Lance Bass has 5 days to pay for his trip into space or the Russian Mafia will break his legs source: cnn.com \| share:	63
(The Age)	Tonight on Fox: When dinner attacks. Chef killed by venomous sea snake he was about to cook source: theage.com.au \| share:	41
(thestar.com)	U.K. pondering ban on cellphones while driving source: thestar.com \| share:	41
	Dirk gets his skates on and hits 174mph (291kph). Little wheels, big balls. source: iol.co.za \| share:	30
	Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Voyager probe reaches quarter century mark without exploding source: news.bbc.co.uk \| share:	30
	High-speed camera can capture pictures of flying bullets in meticulous detail. source: cnn.com \| share:	59
(Some Guy)	Photoshop two farkers in simulated free-fall source: danakate.com \| share:	82
	Theme: Failed celebrity-named magazines source: rosiemagazine.com \| share:	133
(MovieGuy)	It's a known fact that Farkers love watching movies. So tell us then, 'What stupid, sad, girly, sappy movie is YOUR guilty pleasure? Ever cry at a movie? Which one? source: cgi.ebay.com \| share:	713
(Some Guy)	Monday Photoshop Theme: Make your own Andre the Giant "Posse" poster source: radioactivefuture.com \| share:	107
	New election trend, political canidates are now spamming people for votes source: startribune.com \| share:	36
	Company find vulnerability in Army network; downloads all of the General's pr0n source: techtv.com \| share:	22
(Boston Herald)	Jimmy Buffett checks into hotels under the name Ward Robe. Many other celebrity pseudonyms listed (Drew Curtis not on the list). source: www2.bostonherald.com \| share:	40
(some girl)	All types of male models. Something for everyone. SFW source: fortunecity.com \| share:	21
(McDonalds)	Photoshop this McDonalds coupon. (Limit one per customer, additional charges may apply). source: kbcitv.com \| share:	64
	Dairy Queen owner fined for painting his restaurant red, white, and blue. source: jsonline.com \| share:	44
(Some Guy)	A test for that most valuable of skills: celebrity foot identification. source: shockhaber.com \| share:	20
(Healthscout.com)	Tips for avoiding worms include telling your kids not to eat dirt or play with poop source: healthscout.com \| share:	32
(Some Guy)	Wet t-shirt contest. Not safe for work. source: adult-pics.net	53
(straitstimes.com)	100 year old Chinese woman's dying wish is to visit Beijing, her 60 year old son piggybacks her for a 10 day tour. source: straitstimes.asia1.com.sg \| share:	29
	Toothless, one-eyed man wanted for movie. Male farkers line up. source: ncbuy.com \| share:	31
(Orange Today)	US pet owners are learning animal first aid, including mouth-to-mouth resuscitation source: orange-today.co.uk \| share:	23
	Nutjob tried to fling baby over railing, Mob beats nutjob into submission source: sfgate.com \| share:	64
(Philly.com)	Scorpion: the poor mans soft shell crab source: philly.com \| share:	68
	Man arrested after police find him passed out on his couch, marijuana joint hanging from his lips source: msnbc.com \| share:	67
	Nitwit on airplane claims it's easy to bring aboard weapons, easier to cancel a flight by stupidity. source: sacbee.com \| share:	33
	You probably don't need to drink the full 8 glasses of water each day that you aren't drinking anyway source: msnbc.com \| share:	90

Mon August 19, 2002
(Some haole)	Hawaii is now safe - jet powered fire truck tops 400 mph source: jetfiretruck.com \| share:	116
(Some Softy)	Man running for governor says his first act would be to release from prison the man who shot him. source: apondemo.mm.ap.org \| share:	78
(St Petersburg Times)	"God guy" candidate drops out of school board race over public masturbation charge source: sptimes.com \| share:	127
(Guardian)	What happens when you give an elephant 3,000 hits of LSD. source: education.guardian.co.uk \| share:	250
	Late Wham-O innovator will be cremated, molded into frisbees source: fresnobee.com \| share:	81
(AFP via ADN.com)	Frenchman taken to hospital after morgue undertaker hears him breathing. Death surrenders. source: adn.com \| share:	39
(Some Mickey)	Scientists create super macho mice that produce goat sperm. Minnie surrenders. source: news.nationalgeographic.com \| share:	32
(Orange)	Italian man refused to cease sex in public pool until his woman climaxed source: orange-today.co.uk \| share:	107
(Some Guy)	Modern Day Pinup girl Dita Von Teese (not safe for work) source: ditasdomain.com	74
	Dealership rapped for selling 18 cars in 14 months to mentally impaired man source: seattletimes.nwsource.com \| share:	83
(EW Weekly)	Presenting The Anna Nicole Smith Drinking Game source: ew.com \| share:	46
(Some Idiot)	Funny IRC quotes. Guaranteed laughter not a guarantee source: aborior.50megs.com \| share:	151
(Nude Anon)	Anonymous naked pictures (not safe for work) source: nudeanon.com	47
	All Afghans free to celebrate independence day for the first time in over twenty years source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	69
(Some Guy)	Lots of pics of the cool glass flowers the drunk ruined source: dianefarrisgallery.com \| share:	57
	Las Vegas man, fearing for his and his young daughter's safety, whacked off the hand of an intruder with a machete... source: msnbc.com \| share:	222
(local6.com)	Elderly couple gets lost on way to store -- found 2-days, 200 miles later source: local6.com \| share:	137
	Drunk Norwegian takes lawnmower for a spin source: iol.co.za \| share:	36
(usnews.com)	This is the golden age of hoaxes source: usnews.com \| share:	52
	Corporate Mofo presents: The Best of Corporate Mofo source: corporatemofo.com \| share:	19
(St. Petersburg Times)	Nude men busted for cutting goat's throat, killing birds source: stpetersburgtimes.com \| share:	67
(local6.com)	GM recalls about 720,000 vehicles source: local6.com \| share:	150
	WooHoo, we got force-fields. Next stop: tractor beams source: theregister.co.uk \| share:	151
(Canada.com)