Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Archives for 2002-07-21

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Sun July 21, 2002
(Some Guy)	A list of new chocolates and candies being released this year. source: candyusa.org \| share:	82
	WorldCom bankruptcy--stock goes from high of $64 to $0.09. source: reuters.com \| share:	79
	Ridge: Threat of terrorism may force use of military for domestic law enforcement source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	343
	SAT scores by race and ethnicity, place bets on who does well in math part. source: sacbee.com \| share:	350

	Man Accused of Stealing Truck Caught After Demanding Air at Gas Station source: fresnobee.com \| share:	26
(Some Guy)	Disney makes fake crop circles to promote "Signs" source: swirlednews.com \| share:	101
	Trackwars, a spiffy online game source: trackwars.com \| share:	76
(Audiogalaxy)	Norway's Black Metal Bands are freaking insane source: audiogalaxy.com \| share:	151
(Sonic Product)	Digital Music for Dummies source: sonicproduct.com \| share:	32

(Some Geek)	Why geek guys really do rule source: neystadt.org \| share:	225
	Pink Floyd's album "Dark Side of the Moon" is the secret soundtrack to the Wizard of Oz (if this is not a repeat...) source: cgi.ebay.com \| share:	179
	Did wild game feasts lead to fatal brain disorders? source: jsonline.com \| share:	35
(Some Guy)	Sesame Street to Introduce Crack Addict Muppet source: brokennewz.com \| share:	27
	Dave Barry blames Boobies fetish on lizard brains; Farkettes everywhere nod in agreement source: bayarea.com \| share:	29
	Is THE GREEN LANTERN About To Happen?. BUFFY�s Nick Brendon Playing The Lead source: aint-it-cool-news.com \| share:	61
(NBC5.com)	Hundreds of boats set sail Saturday in the Race to Mackinac, the worlds largest freshwater race source: nbc5.com \| share:	17
(Some Alaska Site)	Alaska has almost twice as many caribou as people. source: state.ak.us \| share:	44
	Minneapolis architect plans to top world's tallest building by 40 Ft source: startribune.com \| share:	70
(Some Heartless Girl)	To all Nice Guys: It's true, women DON'T like you source: heartless-bitches.com \| share:	322
(clickondetroit.com)	9 arrested, cop hurt, guest bitten by police dog at wedding reception food fight source: clickondetroit.com \| share:	16
	Schoolteacher grabs electric cord, throttles student to show how dangerous electric cords are source: mdn.mainichi.co.jp \| share:	19
	Curing Hangovers with Volcanic Ash source: www3.cosmiverse.com \| share:	23
	Person deemed awful complains about it. source: forums.somethingawful.com \| share:	210
	American corporations bring grandpa back to teach the whippersnappers how to run a business. source: azcentral.com \| share:	15
(newsok.com)	Oklahoma man crawls for 23 hours to try to save his wife after she is pinned under tractor source: newsok.com \| share:	46
	Britons are the rudest, meanest, most linguistically incompetent and least adventurous holidaymakers in the world source: sky.com	284
	Equine Suicide-Bomber source: news.com.au \| share:	21
	Bucks star Glenn Robinson arrested for domestic battery. Johnnie Cochran's pager explodes. source: msnbc.com	17
(Microsoft)	It's true, Micro$oft only wants you to use Windows2000 or WindowsXP source: v4.windowsupdate.microsoft.com \| share:	127
(One Very Jaded Farker)	Apple to core user base, "Drop dead.". Will begin charging one hundred dollars for formerly free feature. source: mac.com \| share:	116
	The Ren and Stimpy Show coming back to TNN along with other adult cartoons. Happy, happy, joy, joy. source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	59
(Some Undead Guy)	How to make a zombie. source: dreamwater.com \| share:	14
	E-mailing notorious spammer for kicks, great way to save on your entertainment budget. source: seattletimes.nwsource.com \| share:	17
	Post your favorite "I'd Hit It" image. ( Links to a picture of Mr. Bean ) source: sicksack.com \| share:	245
	People flock to see image of Virgin Mary in tree. God must have a very strange sense of humor source: suntimes.com \| share:	29
	Photoshop the original sketch hidden beneath your favorite classic painting. (Link goes to a real-life example) source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	79
(Some Guy)	Photoshop farker's sister's ugly-ass puppy source: hstrial-rjeremy.homestead.com \| share:	72
(Acinet)	List of the highest-paying occupations that require only on-the-job training and no degree. source: acinet.org \| share:	32
(Some Guy)	The five greatest movies ever (maybe) source: listentome.net \| share:	62
	Hispanic group demands that American history needs more Hispanic references. source: chron.com \| share:	43
(reporter.net)	Doctor prevents mid-air heart attack by using MacGyver-esque tactics source: reporter.net \| share:	32
	Photoshop these future victims of sitcom cancellation. source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	55
(Guardian Unlimited)	Indiana, Illinois, Ohio, and Tennessee raise cigarette taxes, so smokers drive to Kentucky to save $4 per carton source: guardian.co.uk \| share:	43
(Esquire)	10 things men need to know about women - really source: esquire.com \| share:	121
	Most air travellers care more about ripoff ticket prices than safety source: news.scotsman.com \| share:	29
(Some Guy)	Photoshop The Nebraska state line source: jere.iki.fi \| share:	174
(Some Farley Fan)	Learn more about the Chris Farley Foundation source: chrisfarleyfoundation.com \| share:	46
(Some Guy)	My kind of reality TV...... "Erotic survivor" not safe for work source: seductioncinema.com	75

Sat July 20, 2002
(benmaller.com)	Baseball fans email Mavericks owner Mark Cuban asking him to buy their team. source: benmaller.com \| share:	47
(Some Guy)	"It's kind of scary when someone comes at you with a chain saw." source: thejournalnews.com \| share:	41
(Some Clone)	We're normal people. We just want our baby to be a clone. source: sundayherald.com \| share:	82
(Some Guy)	You've heard his voice in hundreds of trailers, you can now see what he looks like and the kind of money talking for a living can make you. source: fadeinmag.com \| share:	73
	Bill Clinton's Hollywood Benefactors source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	70
	Top 10 discoveries about the Moon since the start of Apollo era. source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	45
(Courier Journal)	Ticket sales for Ted Williams tribute slow. John Henry Williams to encase dad in carbonite to draw in sci-fi crowd. source: courier-journal.com \| share:	20
	Girl straddles broom, tries to fly, gets hurt source: azcentral.com \| share:	90
	Ayatollah blasts US for "War and Death." Note to Ayatolla: you're next. source: channels.netscape.com \| share:	40
	Now they're burning CHILDREN source: azcentral.com \| share:	174
(The Guardian)	UK supermarket Marks & Spencer caught running drugs to Singapore source: guardian.co.uk \| share:	15
(Some Guy)	Kuwait will not allow U.S. to attack Iraq from their territory source: gulf-news.com \| share:	136
(straitstimes.com)	Would you quit smoking if your boss paid you to? source: straitstimes.asia1.com.sg \| share:	74
	Lightning kills 4 illegal immigrants source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	196
(some girl)	Reality TV may have it's perks. (not safe for work) source: musikmasters.com	73
(Some Guy)	He just got out of rehab, give Robert Downey Jr the ego boost he needs. Him being hot and talented notwithstanding. source: nabou.com \| share:	35
	Gateway, tired of stupid tech support questions, gives out fake phone number. Costs them $3.6 million. source: nypost.com \| share:	47
(Some Guy)	Build a android head for your computer source: howtoandroid.com \| share:	30
	Bartender does fire trick, kills lion, tiger and 23 customers. source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	42
(Some Guy)	Kelly Monaco gallery (not safe for work) source: tuttotope.supereva.it	56
	All four basketball recruits to U of Georgia are ineligible. source: sports.yahoo.com \| share:	23
	Tiger Woods blows chance for Grand Slam. Still gets to hump gorgeous women on piles of money. source: foxnews.com \| share:	30
(space.com)	Today is the 30th anniversiary of Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin being the first men to walk on the moon. source: space.com \| share:	88
	$100,000 fine for public sex acts in Sin city source: abclocal.go.com \| share:	19
(Some Guy)	Kara Styler in a hot tub. Not safe for work source: pornstarpass.com	58
	Man fined $1 million for bulldozing a colony of frogs. source: bayarea.com \| share:	40
	Scientology turning people into slaves source: english.pravda.ru \| share:	96
	Operation TIPS hotline transcript source: bbspot.com \| share:	56
	Enrollment up after Beaver College changes its name source: azcentral.com \| share:	36
	So much for the Bin Laden Jewelry Hour on HSN ... source: reuters.com \| share:	21
	Transformer fire disrupts New York. Megatron suspected. source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	39
	CAP seeking donatations so he can keep his site going, please give if you can source: capalert.com \| share:	127
(CT Now)	Guy in Dolly Parton wig selling Girl Scout cookies was just a summer camp initiation prank. source: ctnow.com \| share:	16
	Tourist tries to move bison's head for a picture. Gets gored source: cnn.com \| share:	63
	It doesn't matter how hot you are, you should always discuss adoption with your husband before signing the papers. source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	85
(benmaller.com)	Florida Marlins can't draw fans but they did draw 20,000 bees Friday night. source: benmaller.com \| share:	13
	70-foot dead whale drifts in at beach near Sausalito. Get the TNT Martha... source: fresnobee.com \| share:	27
	Finley enters Kitean Protection Program, moves to St. Louis source: msn.espn.go.com \| share:	12
	Baywatch star in lettuce bikini stops traffic, encourages rabbits source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	75
(straitstimes.com)	Study: You are more likely to get a response from a single e-mail than copying it & sending it to 600 bajillion people source: straitstimes.asia1.com.sg \| share:	36
	Meet the real-life He-Man and Skeletor. And be thrilled. source: x-entertainment.com \| share:	22
(Some Guy)	Photoshop this pig show. Soooooeeeeee. source: mwsrd.com \| share:	118
(Firehouse.com)	Unhappy Hour: Fire truck crashes into bar. (with pics) source: firehouse.com \| share:	46
(Popsci)	New car from Volkswagen gets 235 miles per gallon source: popsci.com \| share:	117
	Seal dies with tummy full of coins source: aftenposten.no \| share:	73
(Some Guy)	Help design a shirt and win a trip for two to San Diego source: btmusic.com \| share:	167
	Corporate Scandal Trading Cards. Collect them all. source: slate.msn.com \| share:	69

Fri July 19, 2002
(WWN)	Aliens capture top-secret NASA moon base source: weeklyworldnews.com \| share:	165
(The Star)	Some reporter gets paid to get high and write an article. source: thestar.com \| share:	84
	Beckham turns down film role as hitman - unable to get any shots on target source: news.bbc.co.uk \| share:	33
(Some Guy)	The topic says it all. Nothing left to the imagination (not safe for work) source: erotica.hunks-for-women.com	96
	Civil Libertarian reminds airlines of consitutional right to travel anonymously. source: cnn.com \| share:	172
(Some Guy)	For sale: Fainting goats source: store.yahoo.com \| share:	59
	Women quit tanning when they are told that it can cause wrinkles. Dont seem to care about getting cancer source: reuters.com \| share:	111
	Moracco says it won't reoccupy pile of rocks. Tells Spain to go back home. source: dailynews.yahoo.com \| share:	59
(iWon)	Minnesota Department of Transportation names drainage ponds for Simpsons characters. source: apnews1.iwon.com \| share:	39
	Teen burns down house after dad refuses to buy him $40,000 car. source: arabnews.com \| share:	70
	Creator of lucky charms dies in a car crash. source: cnn.com \| share:	112
(Toronto Star)	Teacher who was hot for student acquitted, promises to only hit on students whose voices have stopped cracking. source: thestar.ca \| share:	61
(Some Guy)	Carnival ride, or nuke reactor? source: jere.iki.fi \| share:	129
(Some Guy)	Hyapatia Lee: Pocahontas come to life (not safe for work) source: retrospice.com	110
	Rescuers surprised when floating body wakes up source: startribune.com \| share:	32
(Portland Tribune)	Was Homer an Illegal Alien? source: portlandtribune.com \| share:	35
(WECT)	Cookie salesperson was no Girl Scout source: wect.com \| share:	36
	Police arrest man in connection with the Samantha Runnion murder source: foxnews.com \| share:	201
	Dolphins linebacker goes nuts in a restaurant, beats wife, hits man with chair source: wfts.com \| share:	49
	SA goons Photoshop movie posters source: somethingawful.com \| share:	56
(Some Guy)	Top 100 naked Russian Boobies - not safe for work source: rateme.km.ru	101
	Mom not happy with vending machine toy that promotes adult website source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	56
	Armstrong crushes everyone in the mountains for the second day in a row. source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	100
(Some Guy)	Theme Photoshop: create your own brand of hot sauce. Link goes to a farked up example. source: chili-and-hot-sauces.com \| share:	135
	Judge: calling someone a terrorist is unconstitutional source: foxnews.com \| share:	102
(The Guardian)	Georgia cop runs over suspect with car, breaks both legs, beats him. Says it was an accident source: guardian.co.uk \| share:	95
(E Online)	The Anna Nicole Show Photo Gallery source: eonline.com \| share:	162
	Scientists create big-brained mice. Mice to try to take over the world source: reuters.com \| share:	82
(Brass Knuckles Webzine)	Tired of the same old boring saints? Then try out some new saints like 'The Pull My Finger Saint' source: brassknuckles.net \| share:	24
(Washington Times)	State Department workers slam Bush, invoke Godwin's Law source: washingtontimes.com \| share:	66
	Moussaoui transcript excerpts source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	66
	Woman kicks kidnapper in crotch, smacks him in face, and catches her baby after he drops it. source: fresnobee.com \| share:	94
(NBC4Columbus)	Columbus, Ohio weatherman falls asleep, begins snoring on air source: nbc4columbus.feedroom.com \| share:	95
(Sydney Morning Herald)	Gaelic football team disbanded for playing nude billiards source: smh.com.au \| share:	26
	Homer Simpson Canadian? source: canoe.ca \| share:	147
	Bus driver fails to pick up man at bus stop, gets arrested source: suntimes.com \| share:	59
	Why use the electric chair when you can use the electric fence? source: azcentral.com \| share:	33
(Some Guy)	Friday again, Movie quotes anyone? "You have to know what a crumpet is to play cricket", Ye who posts TMNT first gets to go first. Link goes nowhere. source: moviequotes.com \| share:	1211
(Santa Barbara News-Press)	Photoshop these crazy hooded ninja falcons source: newspress.com \| share:	95
	Jilted woman makes 50,000 'one-ringer' calls to couple she felt did her wrong source: mdn.mainichi.co.jp \| share:	51
	Ozzy goes missing for 10 days. Found in tail of airliner covered in oil, eating stolen sandwiches. source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	79
(Toronto G&M)	Mounties enforce seatbelt laws by posing as squeegee guys source: globeandmail.ca \| share:	48
	Noelle Bush released from jail source: local6.com \| share:	39
(Newsday)	Pizza hut accused of racism because they ran out of cheese. source: newsday.com \| share:	175
	Austin Fark Party tomorrow Saturday July 20th. source: ci.austin.tx.us \| share:	67
	Teens forget the part about the flame-retardant suit in jackass stunt. source: fresnobee.com \| share:	57
	Thieves make off with 82-pound salmon. source: azcentral.com \| share:	16
(NFL)	3 Weeks until NFL preseason - Here are divisional realignments. source: nfl.com \| share:	73
(page3)	Page 3 is just cool. Not safe for work source: page3.com \| share:	48
	Traficant: "I will stab people in the crotch" source: cnn.com \| share:	90
	Man attacked by eel on bus source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	21
(angryfinger)	Republican Lawmakers Decry Rejection of Pentecostal Muppet source: angryfinger.com \| share:	19
	The mental makeup of informants and citizen spies source: yellowtimes.org \| share:	142
	Photoshop these men holding their sacks source: us.news2.yimg.com \| share:	67
(Cosmo)	Put the hot Cosmo Men on your desktop, girls love em :P source: magazines.ivillage.com	132
	Technology giants tell Hollywood to stick it. source: nandotimes.com \| share:	62
(Charlotte.com)	Fearing the seductive wrath of Tammy Faye Bakker local Unitarian church cancels hoot-nanny of a meeting. source: charlotte.com \| share:	27
(Some Guy)	The cool stuff you could get if you donate to that Peter Pan guy's website source: pixyland.org \| share:	172
(Daily Press)	Confused idiot fires on helicopter because it landed in a field by his house source: dailypress.com \| share:	92
(Some Guy)	Screenshots from the new Domo-Kun game. source: nintendo.co.jp \| share:	74

Thu July 18, 2002
(Agence France-Presse)	Photoshop delivery of Osama's new PDA source: msnbc.com \| share:	147
(Cincinnati Enquirer)	Town orders family to tear down wheelchair ramp used by their 9 year old son. source: enquirer.com \| share:	80
	The best comedy show no one is watching: Connie Chung on CNN source: salon.com \| share:	97
	Photoshop a guy pointing to something on a dinosaur head. source: us.news2.yimg.com \| share:	141
	Cows adopt a piglet. Just needs a chicken for a nice meat salad. source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	25
	Sleeping woman found floating in a stream in Hawaii. source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	49
	Gephardt: "Democratic Party Could Pick Up 40 House Seats Because of Corporate Scandals." source: rollcall.com \| share:	151
	Caption Al Sharpton talking to Jacko source: us.news2.yimg.com \| share:	160
	Small website stands up to RIAA/MPAA for reproducing articles illegally. Wins. source: theregister.co.uk \| share:	48
	ex-high-tech worker goes into low-tech bank robbing. source: www2.bostonherald.com \| share:	37
(Orlando Sentinel)	Shhh, don't wake the naked, decomposing husband on the couch. source: orlandosentinel.com \| share:	78
	Farker DAL from Broken Newz pulls Leo's hair on the Screen Savers today source: techtv.com \| share:	27
(Canada)	Orphaned Orca still snuggling up to boaters. Loves to cuddle with 15 footers. source: canada.com \| share:	18
	Mistaking it for Florida, stealth fighters bomb Texas source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	51
	Brain scans allow you to know you have Alzheimer's while you're still coherant enough to dispair about it source: usatoday.com \| share:	51
(ABQJournal)	If you're going to scare your family, make sure they're not armed first. source: abqjournal.com \| share:	83
	Double jeopardy be damned: New York police officer who allegedly sodomized Hatian immigrant with a broomstick goes on trial again for the fifth time concerning the same offense. source: jsonline.com \| share:	117
(Daily News)	President Bush still very eager to put Social Security money into stocks source: nydailynews.com \| share:	252
	Palestinians should fight the good fight source: yellowtimes.org \| share:	140
(SciAm.com)	Amuse your friends, confuse the gullible - A beginner's guide to making crop circles (w/ equipment lists, layout hints, tips on fooling New Agers...) source: circlemakers.org \| share:	160
	Britney attempts crash diet, face crashes into floor AND Jennifer Aniston working on new Cardio Striptease workout. Lordy lordy source: us.imdb.com \| share:	99
(Some Guy)	Holy crap it's Mike's birthday today. Photoshop this pic of him source: bit0.com \| share:	117
	Moussaoui cracks in courtroom, admits everything source: foxnews.com \| share:	144
	British officials leave confidential security files outside pub source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	23
(Some Guy)	Triumph dogs Bon Jovi source: ifilm.com \| share:	45
(Some Guy)	Photoshop these Farkers at a Chicken Bar-B-Q source: users.adelphia.net \| share:	76
	Philippine action star kills two men that tried to rob his home source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	50
(CT Now)	Three men try to rob bank, get no money. Escape in stolen Corvette, car blows up. source: ctnow.com \| share:	29
	Design new hairpiece for Traficant source: us.news2.yimg.com \| share:	122
	Rogue Bishop ordains woman priest, Vatican says "No f'ing way" source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	171
(Deseret News)	Utah students complain H.S. graduation test is too hard. State decides to make test easier, gives up on making kids smarter. source: deseretnews.com \| share:	87
(Some Guy)	Photoshop the food pyramid to more accurately reflect a Farker's diet. source: centenaryarchers.gil.com.au \| share:	91
(Ottawa Daily Times)	EMTs try to gas themselves to prove how tough they are source: ottawadailytimes.com \| share:	22
(Sportsline)	This isn't superhuman? Armstrong takes the lead, gains over a minute and a half in the first mountain stage. source: cbs.sportsline.com \| share:	98
	Satisfied Fark Classified advertiser sends in traffic graphs of experience source: fark.com \| share:	57
(Tennessean)	Video of a shootout between a bank robber with an a assault rifle and the Brentwood Police source: tennessean.com \| share:	81
	Return of the Crayon Beast source: flashplayer.com \| share:	16
(Some Guy)	Killer/rapist to be thrown of cliff in a sack. Unlikely to be a repeat offender source: iwon.com \| share:	143
((National Alliance for the Menta)	If you're a reporter covering a fire at a mental hospital, don't use the headline "Roasted Nuts" source: biz.yahoo.com \| share:	79
	Shot from dropped gun kills police officer. In other news, dropping guns found to be more accurate than aiming guns source: local6.com \| share:	44
(The New Republic)	Bush administration pouring favors on Florida to help Jeb's reelection prospects. source: thenewrepublic.com \| share:	80
	Man claims to be Jesus Christ - to be hung for blasphemy source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	199
(emmys.org)	54th Annual Emmy Nominations announced source: emmys.org \| share:	59
	Wired hurting for news stories source: wired.com \| share:	64
	World Fark Party signups so far. Is your city listed? source: fark.meetup.com \| share:	273
	The wacky world of Japanese ice cream source: mdn.mainichi.co.jp \| share:	80
	Cop who beat handcuffed teen pleads self defense source: msnbc.com \| share:	225
(Marketwatch)	AOL: You've Got.... questionable revenue source: cbs.marketwatch.com \| share:	32
(benmaller.com)	The LPGA is trying to decide if they should use sex in marketing their sport. source: benmaller.com \| share:	50
	E. trying to get Anna Nicole Smith to slim down for her new show source: msnbc.com \| share:	88
	British government blames Benny Hill for teenage pregancy rate source: telegraph.co.uk \| share:	69
(Bradenton.com)	9/11 the catalyst for radical decline in teenage drug, alcohol use source: bradenton.com \| share:	51
	This dummy throwing his mobile phone. source: us.news1.yimg.com \| share:	117
	Top 11 office superheroes source: bbspot.com \| share:	34
(Drum Corps International)	Remember last year's football team vs. drum corps fracas? This year a corps has a 290-pound defensive tackle from TCU with a contrabass bugle. Come get some. source: dci.org \| share:	54
	Video of blind psychic who feels naked buttocks to see the future source: local6.com \| share:	31
(Charleston Daily Mail)	13 year old boy holds up shop and demands porn magazine source: dailymail.com \| share:	49
	Sharon Osbourne embarrassed about colon cancer, wished it were a "cute little heart-shaped polyp on my vagina" instead source: pagesix.com \| share:	72
	Player hit by pitch decides to wing ball back at pitcher source: sports.espn.go.com	75
	New game show makes contestants suffer sleep deprivation source: ncbuy.com \| share:	37
	Artist sued for royalties over song that features total silence source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	54
	Student who put a belt around his neck to keep him awake while studying hangs himself source: news.com.au \| share:	49
	Stupidity in children blamed on mothers returning to work before kids reach age of 3 source: azcentral.com \| share:	51
(Some Guy)	Skunk ape still on the loose. Florida sure is messed up source: ecobserver.com \| share:	40
	"19 Players who may beat Tiger Woods," from the people who brought you "32 teams that may win the superbowl" source: sports.espn.go.com \| share:	27
(some dude)	Join FARK fantasy football. Password: Fark source: meeting.fantasy.nfl.com \| share:	99
	The Sorta-Ultimate Guide To Obscure 80s Action Figures. source: x-entertainment.com \| share:	32
	2.5 tons of potatoes spill on Tokyo expressway (w/ pic) source: mdn.mainichi.co.jp \| share:	42
(Rush Limbaugh)	Nine of top twelve richest senators are Capitalist pig Democrats source: rushlimbaugh.com \| share:	270
(Some Guy)	PBS announcement: no HIV-positive muppet on Sesame Street. Politicians can now go back to attacking Teletubby Tinky Winky. source: tvinsite.com \| share:	79

Wed July 17, 2002
(Kansas City Star)	Which would you rather have: a bad back or a penis that works? source: kansascity.com \| share:	61
	Photoshop this duck lover source: seattletimes.nwsource.com \| share:	172
(Straitstimes)	News report on "petty crimes" including "outrage of modesty". Re-enactment. source: straitstimes.asia1.com.sg \| share:	14
(Some Guy)	Help Farker Odjur pick the best way to propose to his girlfriend. Voting enabled. This link doesn't go anywhere, literally source: icesk8.com \| share:	221
(via TheHun.net)	Some Beautiful Asian woman (not safe for work) source: xqueen.xtac.com	105
(angryfinger)	New plan calls for Dick Sargent to replace World Trade Center source: angryfinger.com \| share:	29
	UK Parliament buys Queen a big silver tray as a present. Queen yawns, chucks it on huge pile of 1,000 other silver trays source: news.bbc.co.uk \| share:	39
(Recoil)	Judgement day postponed after homeless man who made prophecy scores bottle of vodka. source: recoilmag.com \| share:	27
(sun-sentinel.com)	German man who relieves stress by screaming in a forest at night has been asked to stop by officials. source: sun-sentinel.com \| share:	42
(Canada.com)	Stoner calls "911" instead of "411" and hangs up. Police arrive and bust his grow-op. source: canada.com \| share:	51
(Some Guy)	The sad legacy of faith-based capitalism source: news-jrnl.com \| share:	107
	Ancient Mayans were chocoholics. source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	42
(Florida Today)	Nobody worried about the tons of explosive chemicals trucked into Kennedy Space Center all the time source: floridatoday.com \| share:	58
	On this day in history - Spain ceded Florida to the United States. Bastards. source: nandotimes.com \| share:	97
(SeattlePI)	Sun God Ra breaks into Seattle mansion for an iced mocha and a couple of smokes. Mansion owners not happy. source: seattlepi.nwsource.com \| share:	59
	Family sues cruise ship after staff notices their jars of live bees and boots them off source: local6.com \| share:	36
(WND)	Right-wing commentator thinks Bush citizen spy plan stinks of Nazism source: worldnetdaily.com \| share:	336
	Lawyer spanks client to improve her testimony source: kansascity.com \| share:	26
	SETI wants to spend $26 million to listen to nothing 100 times faster source: www3.cosmiverse.com \| share:	95
(Timesonline)	Colonel Muammar Gaddafi throws $6 million out his car window source: timesonline.co.uk \| share:	44
	Bombs go off in Tel Aviv source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	167
(NY 1)	Al Sharpton evicted from Empire State Building source: ny1.com \| share:	66
	40 years ago, the first Soviet submarine reached the North Pole source: english.pravda.ru \| share:	18
(The Record)	Every time the lights flicker, a squirrel gets his wings. source: therecord.com \| share:	44
(kvii.com)	Jesus dies in drag racing accident. source: kvii.com \| share:	61
(Some Guy)	11 year old boy scales 2 8-foot fences and 1 4-foot fence after hours at zoo to pet a snow leopard. Leopard attacks boy. Parents sue saying zoo was not secure. source: syracuse.com \| share:	141
	Dog denied place on Florida ballot source: local6.com \| share:	18
(ComingSoon.net)	Walken to star in new flick with The Rock. Poor Walken. source: comingsoon.net \| share:	30
(Daily Hampshire Gazette)	Trampoline hit by lightning spontaneously bounces out of control source: gazettenet.com \| share:	15
	Another Indian tribe gets casino. Tribe consists of eight people. source: sacbee.com \| share:	22
(Some Guy)	Korean 'Miss World Cup' to debut as singer source: wk.koreaherald.co.kr \| share:	67
	Schwarznegger may run for governor. "It's not a rumor" source: king5.com \| share:	74
	Predator and prey, getting along: cat cares for baby bunny (pic) source: sfgate.com \| share:	66
	Burglar eluding police dragnet lies down to hide in doorway of police station source: fresnobee.com \| share:	7
(Newschannel 8)	DC blowdart rampage claims 20th victim source: newschannel8.net \| share:	21
	Spock coughs up $1 million to art museum source: sacbee.com \| share:	17
	Pooty-Poot calls for more Russian movies. source: apnews.excite.com \| share:	10
	Phone companies now allowed to share customer data without consent source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	47
(Fayetteville Online)	Free Def Leppard show at Super Walmart Opening source: search.fayettevillenc.com \| share:	94
	Gov. Jeb Bush's daughter jailed, again (with mug) source: local6.com \| share:	85
(Orlando Weekly)	Blowing it: Rising STD rates show kids that oral sex counts in the abstinence game source: orlandoweekly.com \| share:	179
	Japanese can now get access to cash from their cell phones source: usatoday.com \| share:	15
(Asbury Park Press)	Black students send racist threats to themselves to get out of school source: injersey.com \| share:	70
	Law changes by Congress back in the 90's caused recent scandals. It wasn't just CEO's trying to fill their pockets. source: msnbc.com \| share:	72
(sptimes.com)	Man fires gun in air to stop neighbors from shooting fireworks into his house. Bullet fired kills passing cyclist, man gets 17 years. source: sptimes.com \| share:	91
	Body of 5 year old Samantha Runnion found source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	155
	Fark Banner Ad sale: 1% of all impressions for one month - $100 source: fark.com \| share:	34
	After vowing to compete for every Latino vote, Calif. GOP governor candidate skips meeting with Latino police group. Claims "Scheduling conflict," although he had no public events that day source: sfgate.com \| share:	17
(tennessean.com)	500 lb. naked man lies in roadway on purpose after accident source: tennessean.com \| share:	65
	Florida voters now stumped: dog disquialified as candidate for Congress. source: boston.com \| share:	122
(Carolina)	Fetal Pigs are on sale today source: www3.carolina.com \| share:	43
	Man smacks Grandma with his meat source: local6.com \| share:	23
	Naked man hitches ride on family's SUV source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	40
	Newest weird sport in Britain: cell phone tossing source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	25
	Mugshot and police affidavit of kitty-frying asshat source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	190
(SMH)	Jacko begged for a MIB II cameo because he mistook the first film for a weepy source: smh.com.au \| share:	84
	Mike Myers raises a stink over farting Fat Bastard doll source: ncbuy.com \| share:	33
	Join the army and use gov't credit cards for lap dances, cigars, booze, pictures of elvis source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	26
	Man thinks it's funny to burn kittens source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	341
	George Michael slated to write theme song for 2004 Olympics source: nypost.com \| share:	38
(NW cable news)	City council bans boobies. Woman responds by removing her shirt. source: nwcn.com \| share:	85
	Anti-Spam legislation opposed by powerful penis-enlargement lobby source: theonion.com \| share:	31
	August 8th: World Fark Party. Click the link and sign up to locate Farkers in your town source: fark.meetup.com \| share:	239
	Celebrities lining up to star in their own 'The Osbournes' style reality shows. Liza Minnelli is at the head of the queue source: uk.news.yahoo.com \| share:	54
	San Francisco, Washington-Baltimore are top contendors for the 2012 Olympics, along with the "best prostitues & bribes" award. source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	83
	Photoshop the H2K2 hacker's conference in New York source: wwwi.reuters.com \| share:	136
	Media Leaks Hurting War, Rumsfeld Says. source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	63
(Enquirer)	Rugged individualist drives tank into town, invades Big Boy source: enquirer.com \| share:	44
(Popcap)	New game from Popcap: Noah's Ark. Seeking comments on the game source: popcap.com \| share:	74
(abc.net.au)	CA woman wins Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Award source: abc.net.au \| share:	28
(Mansfield (Ohio) News Journal)	Sheriff's cruisers burn while deputies confiscate pot from field source: mansfieldnewsjournal.com \| share:	69
	Previously unperformed Monty Python scripts will debut this summer source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	67
	Crazy Christian record album covers source: retrocrush.com \| share:	81
	Photoshop the "Patient Care Bay" of Alcor (Ted Williams' new home) source: wwwi.reuters.com \| share:	97
	Statue of horse given underwear source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	39
	Critics lash out at WTC proposals source: sfgate.com \| share:	95
	Parrot who sounds like Ethel Merman cuts a CD. source: nypost.com \| share:	16
	SomethingAwful's certifiably 1337 h4x0rs install Linux on the Xbox for a $200,000 prize source: somethingawful.com \| share:	94
	Half of Pitcairn island up on sex charges source: cnn.com \| share:	20
	Spain invades Morocco. France surrenders source: cnn.com \| share:	33
	J-Lo's new naked perfume ad (fairly safe?) source: thesun.co.uk	57
	Given up on the TiVo wallpaper design contest? Submit a design to the Japanese Ministry of Public Management, Home Affairs, and Telecommunications' Postage Stamp Design Contest. Voting Enabled source: kitte-design.jp \| share:	49
	And The Moral of this Story Is? Voting enabled source: chick.com \| share:	296
(Some Nessie)	Information about cryptids (hidden animals - like Bigfoot) source: cryptozoology.com \| share:	57
(Some Guy)	Photoshop these cowboys. source: austin360.com \| share:	95
(Some Guy)	Corporate leaders not being altruistic, actually working to enrichen themselves source: herdofsheep.com \| share:	25
	Enormous sunspot is crossing the face of the Sun (cool pic) source: www3.cosmiverse.com \| share:	59
(National Post)	Husband fails to notice wife is sleeping with one of her 13 year old students, despite her writing it out for him source: nationalpost.com \| share:	162

Tue July 16, 2002
(shepherd express)	Milwaukee paper gave out free copies of its paper at all-star but left out part criticizing Bud Selig. source: shepherd-express.com \| share:	27
(Some Uncle)	Photoshop this farker's niece on the wing of a plane, source: rivercityhigh.keenspace.com \| share:	168
	The Detroit Tigers: Losers on and off the field source: espn.go.com \| share:	43
	New Boeing 757-300: less poo smell than the 757-200 source: startribune.com \| share:	53
(arcataeye.com)	Arcata Eye update. They'll never drink from that water fountain again source: arcataeye.com \| share:	43
(Ctnow.com)	Town sets up Teen Center in response to complaints of boredom from teens. Teens too busy getting drunk and screwing to check out Center. source: ctnow.com \| share:	77
	Is Lance Armstrong superhuman? You make the call. source: austin360.com \| share:	82
	India develops nuke-proof Porta Potties source: in.news.yahoo.com \| share:	24
(phillyBurbs.com)	Bush Administration approves new whale killing sonar. source: phillyburbs.com \| share:	127
(Some Guy)	Game: Help this girl "break out" of her clothes (not safe for work) source: himawari.sakura.ne.jp \| share:	124
	If you think baseball's messed up now, just take a look back to 1902 source: espn.go.com \| share:	21
	Auto Critic: Dodge'03 Viper is crap source: money.cnn.com \| share:	182
(npr.org)	History of the hamburger -or- How America got fat source: npr.org \| share:	60
(Sun Sentinel)	Woman tries to smuggle boyfriend into Italy in a suitcase. Failed when officials noticed the suitcase carrying itself. source: sun-sentinel.com \| share:	34
	Free-thinking Cessna 182 takes three children on a ride source: reuters.com \| share:	31
(Journalstar.com)	Piranha caught in various lakes in Iowa. Officials say there is nothing to worry about. source: journalstar.com \| share:	51
(IOL)	Alcoholic parrot chants "beer, beer, beer". Recently put back on wagon source: breakingnews.iol.ie \| share:	41
(History Crazed Farker)	Disgruntled inventor of air conditioning fumes "Right and Ford invented the automobile" source: phys.ufl.edu \| share:	47
	Convicted felon Congressman shows up late to his expulsion hearing source: cnn.com \| share:	63
	Why is there corn in my water? source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	111
	Allen Iverson's mugshot source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	98
(Some Guy)	Wil's new movie Jane White is Sick and Twisted screens in LA Thursday evening. Rumor has it he takes his shirt off just like every other movie source: janewhitemovie.com \| share:	51
	Official WTC website farked, here's CNN instead source: cnn.com \| share:	114
(Fresno Bee)	Vampire obsession led teen to kill neighbor, prosecutors say source: fresnobee.com \| share:	64
	Ted Williams really did want to be frozen source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	34
	Dead ivy at Wrigley Field. Officials believe it's the work of White Sox fans source: chicagosports.chicagotribune.com \| share:	55
	Female Nigerian oil protestors threat to disrobe works source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	24
	Student gets teacher's computer passwords, changes grades from F's To A's source: local6.com \| share:	68
	Reebok: The police are to blame for Iverson throwing his wife out on the street naked and brandishing a gun. source: austin360.com \| share:	23
	Do not, repeat, do not overturn tanker trucks full of liquid nitrogen. source: sacbee.com \| share:	60
(LMDC)	Official site of WTC plans (w/ pics) source: renewnyc.com \| share:	57
	Zacarias Moussaoui's federal court motions couldn't get any kookier source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	45
(WashTimes)	What do you think of the idea of a college campus packed with gun-toting students? source: washingtontimes.com \| share:	320
	High-Brow Photoshop: Seiji Ozawa conducting his final concert in Boston source: us.news2.yimg.com \| share:	179
(Boston Herald)	Man gets upset over cable TV service, grabs hatchet, cuts wire, gets shot source: www2.bostonherald.com \| share:	230
	Clown gang hold up pub source: news.bbc.co.uk \| share:	84
(upi.com)	20-something Americans need to panic about having heart attacks, strokes source: upi.com \| share:	72
(epost.co.uk)	Newsstand owner fed up with rich dudes ripping up his porno mags source: epost.co.uk	76
	Hong Kong litter inspectors taught martial arts. source: news.bbc.co.uk \| share:	33
	Man tries to sail from Scotland to Iceland in inflatable dinghy. Fails. source: news.com.au \| share:	33
	Man runs off cliff to escape estranged wife bent on serious cranial damage source: mdn.mainichi.co.jp \| share:	102
	Company to launch television show for cats with scenes of bouncing balls and mice source: mycfnow.com \| share:	86
(Tacoma News Tribune)	Hick sues city because he can't have a dozen cars sit in his yard source: tribnet.com \| share:	126
(NZ Herald)	Man kills friend for laughing at a dead sparrow source: nzherald.co.nz	78
(Herald Sun)	Police suggest a .00 drink-driving limit. And the survey says... source: heraldsun.news.com.au	236
	Lawyers' malpractice insurance does not have to pay claims against attorneys who spank their clients source: reuters.co.uk \| share:	18
	A gang of armed clowns have raided a wine bar. Ouchie unavailable for comment source: reuters.co.uk \| share:	45
(NPR/Kaiser/Kennedy School)	New survey confirms problems with American health care system source: npr.org \| share:	37
	Ricki Lake's talk show is ditching its Springer roots and going Oprah source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	28
(Some Guy)	Secret Service has been surfing Britney Spears sites source: glumbert.com \| share:	46
(Some Guy)	An interesting take on Prostitution source: mcwilliams.com \| share:	73
	1 in 24 Americans to become "Citizen Spies" source: yellowtimes.org \| share:	335
(Some Guy)	Buff chicks are the best chicks. source: buffchicks.com \| share:	153
(Modesto Bee)	Roy Rogers Museum moving from California to new location in Missouri - behind Yakov Smirnoff's theater. source: modbee.com \| share:	49
	DC to cut back on transvestite prostitutes. They don't generate as much income per corner as other prostitutes. source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	31
	4 cannibals arrested in Ukraine source: news.lycos.com \| share:	65
	Colorado officials think the drop in their state's tourism may be due to the fact that their state was on fire. source: thedenverchannel.com \| share:	17
(Some Fisherfarker)	Photoshop this farker's fish source: oysterbaytackle.com \| share:	89
	Thieves steal $55,000 worth of comic books source: mycfnow.com \| share:	26
	Bush's Wall Street Speech... Annotated source: corporatemofo.com \| share:	41
(A rock, not THE rock.)	Government sues a rock. source: miami.com \| share:	49
	Make up a caption for this whale in a crane source: wwwi.reuters.com \| share:	119
(STLtoday.com)	Hitting unexploded mortar shells: one-stroke penalty source: stltoday.com \| share:	16
	6 Billionth Can Of SPAM Produced. Hawaii Surrenders. source: biz.yahoo.com \| share:	39
(Some Californian)	California Governor signs new law to stop home associations from banning flag displays source: cbs2.com \| share:	66
	Man keeps corpse as roommate to avoid eviction. source: news.lycos.com \| share:	35
(Some Guy)	Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? (not safe for work) source: 3wisheslingerie.com	82
	What do you call boobies? (link goes to George Carlin's list) source: georgecarlin.com \| share:	206
	You could be killed by your inflight neck cushion source: news.bbc.co.uk \| share:	34
	Air conditioning celebrates it's100th birthday Wednesday source: ncbuy.com \| share:	47
	Photoshop Tour de France's eighth stage winner. source: us.news2.yimg.com \| share:	128

Mon July 15, 2002
	One heifer makes how many quarter-pounders? source: nationalpost.com \| share:	78
(Some Guy)	Vanessa Upton (not safe for work) source: yonkis.ya.com	117
(Silicon.com)	Gates Mansion Overrun by Incontinent Geese source: silicon.com \| share:	54
(Hardcock Las Vegas)	view the Hardrock Hotel Las Vegas' web cam. By the pool. With zoom. source: lasvegas.com \| share:	118
(Canberra Times)	Scientists discover 3000 year old giant skeleton in South Pacific source: canberra.yourguide.com.au \| share:	81
(The New Republic)	Bush's plan to clean up Wall Street is all hat and no cattle source: thenewrepublic.com \| share:	63
(Miami.com)	Dave Barry expalins Spam source: miami.com \| share:	79
(Las Vegas Review Journal)	Due to the success of previous ventures into untapped tourist groups, such as gamblers, womanizers and boozers, Nevada looking to cash in on stoners source: lvrj.com \| share:	44
(Foul Magazine)