Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Archives for 2002-05-19

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Sun May 19, 2002
(post-dispatch.com)	Inmates on death row clamor for new trial after finding out judge that sentenced them used marijuana source: home.post-dispatch.com \| share:	182
	Umpire refuses to delay minor league baseball game after Iverson late to throw out 1st pitch for charity source: sportsbybrooks.com \| share:	42
(Some Guy)	Woman sentenced to 7 years for drunk driving deaths of two girls asks judge to reduce her sentence because she really misses her own kids. source: santacruzsentinel.com \| share:	130
(Globe & Mail)	Canadian dollar trading higher- may soon be worth more than paper it's printed on source: globeandmail.ca \| share:	110

(Rense)	Doomsday clock moved forward to 'Seven minutes until Midnight' source: rense.com \| share:	123
	Man is arrested trying to sell human head. source: www1.excite.com \| share:	65
(Sunday Mirror)	The English soccer team drank �30,000 worth of liquor in three days. Good luck in the World Cup source: sundaymirror.co.uk \| share:	34
(Spin)	The 50 greatest bands of all time. source: spin.com \| share:	466
(Some Guy)	If you though Star Wars was racist, how about ElNavy.com: the official Hispanic site of the US Navy source: elnavy.com \| share:	80

	Police blotter going to win Pulitzer prize someday source: sfgate.com \| share:	25
(arcataeye.com)	The world's best written police blotter source: arcataeye.com \| share:	49
(Detroit News)	Critics claim episode II has racist stereotypes: clones are army of illegal aliens and Jango Fett is a mexican terrorist even though he's from New Zealand source: detnews.com \| share:	328
(Some Taco Dude)	Taco bell's official mullet humor (after starting the animation click grilled stuft burrito) source: tacobell.com \| share:	74
(Some Guy)	Complaint filed after fitness club refuses to hire 240 pound woman as aerobics instructor source: startribune.com \| share:	152
(Moller)	Where are the flying cars you say? Right here source: moller.com \| share:	76
	It's hard to have sex when your girlfriend's bed is covered with stuffed animals. source: thetoque.com \| share:	89
	New Jersey to propose G-force limits for roller coasters source: msnbc.com \| share:	41
(Some Guy)	Fit boobies (not safe for work) source: tgpdb.com \| share:	131
	Man has arms ripped off by polar bear, writes a funny article about it. source: newyorker.com \| share:	78
(Some Poo Counter)	Ever wonder about the hog vs human poop ratio in North Carolina? Wonder no longer source: hogwatch.org \| share:	40

Sat May 18, 2002
(Some Guy)	Man walks with replica of his wife's boobies on head to support breast cancer research. source: metrowestdailynews.com \| share:	18
(Some Guy)	Chisa Aizawa gallery (Not Safe For Work) source: dman-presents.com \| share:	48
	Fb- captured, arrested in NYC source: nypost.com \| share:	88
(heraldsun.com)	People are trying to bring some pretty strange crap into Australia source: heraldsun.news.com.au \| share:	27
(Some Guy)	Sexual history of the Papacy - Alexander VI liked orgies in the Vatican source: hour.ca \| share:	38
(beafortgazzette.com)	Man calls his mom from atop Mt. Everest. source: beaufortgazette.com \| share:	36
(Newsday)	21! source: newsday.com \| share:	40
	Outspoken Republican candidate for sheriff thinks he has a chance to win. Not with this track record... source: kentucky.com \| share:	25
(abc.net.au)	Phone line that lets kids talk to Scooby-Doo leads to $3.99 a minute sex service instead source: abc.net.au \| share:	40
	Photoshop this guy falling down a volcano source: msnbc.com \| share:	159
(Some Guy)	Torture office types in this amusing Shockwave game source: ww11.e-tractions.com \| share:	31
(Dirty H.S. Dancing)	Video of teens suspended for doing Britney Spears dance at school talent show source: mysanantonio.com \| share:	41
	The 10 hottest jobs for the next decade source: biz.yahoo.com \| share:	41
	Hidden Gems in Episode II -- Yes, those are Millennium Falcons on Naboo source: usatoday.com \| share:	129
	Today is the first aniversary of Fark chat. This link actually does go there. For the IRC-savvy out there, it's #fark in dalnet source: fark.com \| share:	52
(Herald Sun)	Telling boys aggressive play and toy guns are bad can actually damage their self-esteem source: heraldsun.news.com.au \| share:	32
	War Emblem wins 127th Preakness source: mycfnow.com \| share:	43
(Some Guy)	Meteorite hunters find rare booty in African desert source: space.com \| share:	20
	New Jersey first state to propose G-force limits for roller coasters source: msnbc.com \| share:	36
(Playboy)	What college has the hottest chicks? This is the REAL survey of the best place to live (not safe for work) source: playboy.com \| share:	80
(Chillin Villins)	Photoshop Popular Science assistant editor chillin' a beer source: beerchiller.com \| share:	141
	N' Sync loser has heart surgery to qualify for space ride. source: azcentral.com \| share:	44
	Bud Selig claims 25 percent of major league teams could go out of business if the sport's economic system isn't changed source: msn.espn.go.com \| share:	56
	Bush to Putin: join us source: english.pravda.ru \| share:	54
	The Sun saves Madonna from some nut-job source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	39
(Some Poor Montanan)	Prankster calls in a bomb threat at Del Taco. Airport Chief hears Delta Airlines. Hilarity ensues. source: billingsgazette.com \| share:	54
(Some Guy)	Photoshop this band of brave people willing to sell their dignity. source: gainesvilleregister.com \| share:	121
	It's official, rain more likely at the weekends. source: news.bbc.co.uk \| share:	26
(Some Guy)	Angels Camp - where your kid can ride a sheep while wearing a football helmet. source: modbee.com \| share:	28
	Teacher loses control while conducting behavior management class. Throws chair at kid. source: abclocal.go.com \| share:	35
(Some Guy)	Texas governor's 15-year-old daughter gets drivers license becase her family faces 'unusual economic hardship.' source: austin360.com \| share:	80
(lavasoftusa.com)	New AdAware reference file. Now detects FlashTrack and NetRadar. source: lavasoft.nu \| share:	35
	Eight-year old drives himself to school, gets there safely source: mycfnow.com. \| share:	40
	Swedish study reveals substance that causes cancer can be found in almost all foods. Recommends people stop eating. source: reuters.com \| share:	51
(Some Guy)	Teens copying Britney dance moves at talent show get suspended source: kmol.com \| share:	47
(NASA)	Astronauts pop water balloons in space, with video source: microgravity.grc.nasa.gov \| share:	45
(Some Guy)	Image consultant helps overweight women look better at the beach � by making them wear a one-piece, sarong, and big floppy hat. source: click2houston.com \| share:	37
	How to remove a bra for dummies. source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	60
	Celebrity popouts (not safe for work) source: ads.aveit-media.co.uk \| share:	48
(Toledo Blade)	Chicken sandwich explodes in woman's face source: toledoblade.com \| share:	85
	Bush says he would have tried foiling 9/11 attacks had he known. Slams Democrats as second-guessing ass clowns source: reuters.com \| share:	256
(Fark Party)	Calgary Fark Party planned for July 13. Be there or be square. source: mywinnipeg.com \| share:	85
(retroSPICE)	Lynda Carter/Wonder Woman Gallery (not safe for work) source: retrospice.com \| share:	60
(Comics Continuum)	Photoshop Ben Affleck in costume for the Daredevil movie. source: comicscontinuum.com \| share:	173

Fri May 17, 2002
	Backstreet Boy A.J. sued by woman who was a victim of a "bum rush" gone bad. source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	61
(Some Guy)	A little bit of Johnny Depp (safe for work) source: roxyavalon.homestead.com \| share:	45
	Booze, the universal elixir, also prevents diabetes in women source: nypost.com \| share:	28
	Scientists at MIT have created the first realistic videos of people saying things they never said source: cosmiverse.com \| share:	73
(Bartcop.com)	Limbaugh "dropped deafness act" after investigation shows hospital visit was for liposuction (bottom of article) source: radiocrow.com \| share:	122
(SomethingAwful)	Somethingawful meets the Franklin Mint: Collectable Plates source: somethingawful.com \| share:	43
(The Globe and Mail)	The modern office cubicle is a fattening pen for white-collar workers source: globeandmail.ca \| share:	31
	Man shot for weeding neighbor's yard source: thedenverchannel.com \| share:	51
(Some Guy)	Robotskull kicks SmarterChild's ass - First AIM bot to dish out free boobies ( Screename 'Robotskull' , command '/porn' ) source: robotskull.com \| share:	73
(Some Guy)	Girls try to kill asthmatic teacher with massive amounts of perfume. source: www3.cantonrep.com \| share:	51
	Consciousness, the greatest enigma of all time, may have finally been solved source: cosmiverse.com \| share:	66
	5500 kids die from poor sanitation each day; World Health Organization spends time issuing warnings about French fries source: foxnews.com \| share:	34
	D.C. declares baby's name illegal because it's against the law to give it the mother's last name source: mycfnow.com \| share:	107
	Huge asteroid impact cleared the way for giant dinosaurs to evolve and rule the planet source: cosmiverse.com \| share:	39
(Some Guy)	School's side of the "girl being expelled by Christian school because mother was a stripper" story. source: wnd.com \| share:	185
(Mercury News)	Personal bankruptcy filings jump 15% from last year, but bill to tighten rules for filing on hold until Senate can resolve an abortion-related provision source: bayarea.com \| share:	45
	One of our ads appears to be running popups. Let us know which one it is so we can nuke it -Drew source: fark.com \| share:	159
(startribune.com)	Bertelsmann to acquire Napster source: startribune.com \| share:	45
	Missouri House passes measure that would make it a crime to take pictures of animals in barns source: chron.com \| share:	73
	One slice of pizza has as many calories as a large burger source: cnn.com \| share:	102
(Bressler.org)	Star Wars: The Gen X Woodstock source: bressler.org \| share:	51
(WBIR TV10)	Despite having no time to resolve budget crisis, Tennessee legislature approves new specialty license tags. source: wbir.com \| share:	24
(Petition Online)	Petition to bring back Farkman source: petitiononline.com \| share:	79
	The biggest failures and flops in fast food history source: retrocrush.com. \| share:	315
	When it comes to sex education, Americans are idiots source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	110
(thestar.com)	French court to decide whether or not to kick Scientology out of France. source: thestar.com \| share:	208
	NASA is going to try the "teacher in space" thing agian source: msnbc.com \| share:	81
	Carjacker gets arrested after calling victim to learn how to hook up car's stereo amplifier source: mycfnow.com \| share:	53
(Some Guy)	2,000 years of failed 'end time' predictions source: raptureme.com \| share:	113
	Germany's Schroeder wins court battle over his hair color source: boston.com \| share:	35
(CBS)	Mechanics leave Mercedes, complete with keys, at wrong house. source: cbs2.com \| share:	28
(Fredrick News Post)	High school seniors obviously didn't see famous WKRP episode; drop live turkeys from top of auditorium as senior prank source: fredericknewspost.com \| share:	80
(Some Guy)	Denver City Attorney: "The Constitution has no force or effect in Denver, because this is a home rule city." source: stanley2002.org \| share:	100
	After 40 years, astronomers finally have proof on film of what exactly causes the most violent explosions in the Universe source: cosmiverse.com \| share:	31
	Stupid parents and kids claim that billboard saying Hey Virgins. Thanks for Nothing. causes them to have sex source: abclocal.go.com \| share:	247
	High school mixers have better exotic dancers than strip clubs source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	77
	Abercrombie & Fitch in hot water again: parents angry over thong for seven year olds. source: jsonline.com \| share:	159
	Britons dealing with stress the old fashioned way: get rip-roaring plastered source: uk.news.yahoo.com \| share:	32
	People magazine votes Nicole Kidman as having the best legs and Halle Berry as having the best chest. Who should have REALLY won? source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	139
	Ann Landers falls for nude slumber parties urban legend source: austin360.com \| share:	62
	Photoshop the dog-washing machine source: seattletimes.nwsource.com \| share:	112
(Snopes)	Folding a $20 bill to show the terrorist attacks doesn't mean anything. But, you can fold foreign money so you get "Beaver humpin' Action" source: snopes2.com \| share:	64
(stuff)	Dog lover caught in the act - Shotgun wielding husband not happy source: stuff.co.nz \| share:	140
(Some Guy)	Interview with Drew (Part 1) source: justlikesex.com \| share:	49
	Hollywood is out of ideas: Adam West, Burt Ward to star in "Batman" TV reunion source: usatoday.com \| share:	34
(baynews9)	Man buys lake for $1000. Puts up ugly-ass fence, then charges residents $30,000 each to take it down. source: baynews9.com \| share:	128
	British Police send mail to criminals "surrender now or spend the World Cup in a police cell with no television". 27 people turn themselves in. source: reuters.com \| share:	50
	Pope John Paul II considering resignation. May become the first Pope ever to voluntarily leave his position in the 1900 year history of the Papacy source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	90
	Maverick fans deafen Kings with cowbells. Walken clip shown at game. source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	29
(Epinions.com)	The Reviews Are In: Episode II has no script and too much CGI source: epinions.com \| share:	220
	Astronomers discover 11 more moons orbiting Jupiter, proving just how little we know about our own backyard. source: cosmiverse.com \| share:	30
(Cinescape)	While writing for DC Comics, Kevin Smith wasn't allowed to use the word "fart" in any way, shape, or form, source: cinescape.com \| share:	28
	Photoshop Tie Domi doing what he does best. Farker Chick3_16 to surrender. source: canoe.ca \| share:	87
(Some Guy)	Kansas City Fark party June 8th source: kcclones.com \| share:	30
	Why do men have trouble urinating at ballparks? source: slate.msn.com \| share:	101
(Weekly Standard)	Rebel Alliance? Terrorists, more like it. source: theweeklystandard.com \| share:	95
	Electrified winds rage in the Sun's atmosphere at nearly the speed of sound source: cosmiverse.com \| share:	49

Thu May 16, 2002
	A diver with a cockpit recorder source: sfgate.com \| share:	174
	Most school shootings are preventable. Most? source: cnn.com \| share:	52
	The Boss won't run for NJ senate; says stench unbearable source: cnn.com \| share:	33
(Some Guy)	Unlike the Italian coach, the Polish coach is happy if his players have sex during the World Cup - but they have to pay for it source: football.guardian.co.uk \| share:	23
(Macon)	Man cruises around in deep fryer powered mini-bus source: macon.com \| share:	55
(Register Citizen)	Stripper workplace hazards include customers biting you. source: registercitizen.com \| share:	52
	Penthouse publisher Bob Guccione claims to have x-ray super boob vision. source: nypost.com \| share:	27
(Canada.com)	Canada will be the only G-7 nation to have a budget surplus. Hockey sticks for everyone. source: canada.com \| share:	89
(WCCO)	'Bullet' the dog saves the day when baby stopped breathing source: wcco.com \| share:	35
	Bill O'Reilly On NPR: Castro and Palestinians love it, Mao Tse Tung should host �All Things Considered.� source: sportsbybrooks.com \| share:	93
(EOnline)	Top 10 list of the worst movie sequels. What's missing? source: eonline.com \| share:	210
(Some Guy)	Polish posters of American movies. source: poster.com.pl \| share:	65
(klfy.com)	Who needs a lottery? Just wait for the armored car to be left open source: klfy.com \| share:	27
(B3ta)	Female or She-Male? How many she-males can YOU pick out correctly? source: b3ta.com \| share:	84
(Yale Daily News)	Spit or swallow? Yale University is on the case source: yaledailynews.com \| share:	152
	Scientists solve the mystery of why we sleep: because if we didn't, we would die source: cosmiverse.com \| share:	45
(CBS)	Publishers ponder why $500 e-book reader hasn't replaced $5 paperback source: cbsnews.com \| share:	38
	What exactly does "Meow" mean? Scientists think they now know source: cosmiverse.com \| share:	75
	Truckload of cyanide found with open and missing barrels. source: reuters.com \| share:	47
(CBS2.com)	Crap hits the fan when dog registered to vote by his owner gets summoned for jury duty. source: cbs2.com \| share:	34
	New welfare plan would require recipients to work and stop spitting out kids like a Pez dispenser source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	196
	Jimmy Carter is an idiot being exploited by Castro source: newsmax.com \| share:	107
	Biggest scam in sports? College Football - Recent NCAA title winners are a rulebreaker roll call source: sportsbybrooks.com \| share:	42
	Man accused of fathering Liz Hurley's baby now being accused of random other births - one to the tune of �3 million a year in support. Sounds like Fb- really is the father source: thisislondon.co.uk \| share:	41
	BJs Wholesale store closes because 4 Muslims begin praying in the store source: boston.com \| share:	142
(Askmen)	Vote for your favorite Tori (Safe for work) source: askmen.com \| share:	139
	Softcore porn publishers have their hands really deap in Tony Blair's pockets source: news.bbc.co.uk \| share:	46
(People for the American Way)	Ashcroft's first year as Attorney General an overwhelming success for right-wing extremists source: pfaw.org \| share:	147
(Mens Health)	Useful tips for mowing lawn. source: menshealth.com \| share:	62
	What if ESPN had cast Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones? source: msn.espn.go.com \| share:	23
	Bush not psychic. Congress demands to know why source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	212
(Some Guy)	Get your very own Pimp Lando and Ho Leia Action Figures source: phatpimpclothing.com \| share:	15
	Italian soccer coach to players: no shagging during first round of World Cup source: news.com.au \| share:	36
(Some Guy)	"Best Cities for Singles" ranked. More relevant for farkers than "Most livable", which is for the elderly. source: forbes.com \| share:	186
	Suspect allegedly braved gunfire to steal women's underwear source: azcentral.com \| share:	30
	Vibrating plates may be the key to preventing bone and muscle loss in space. Female astronauts seem to enjoy the treatment more than men. source: cosmiverse.com \| share:	14
(Backstage East)	Attention would-be stalkers of Chris Walken - audition in NY for "Stalking Christopher Walken". source: backstage.com \| share:	25
(Some Guy)	Condoleezza Rice issues ultimatum to Saddam: Either give us the oil or eat it. source: theeagle.com \| share:	158
	There is more bacteria on your desk than on the average toilet source: sfgate.com \| share:	63
(rushlimbaugh.com)	Get Limbaugh's new "Fightin' Righties" t-shirt. source: rushlimbaugh.com \| share:	129
	Naked motorist tells police he was driving nude because of Florida heat source: mycfnow.com \| share:	51
	Mother destroys art thief son's $1.4 billion collection source: news.bbc.co.uk \| share:	92
	Star Wars: Where are they now? source: cnn.com \| share:	59
(Philly.com)	Lid blown off giant Philadelphia moonshine operation, literally. source: philly.com \| share:	28
	Police banned from saying "nitty-gritty." source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	83
(Chicagomag.com)	Dust off those resumes. Playboy looking for new editor. source: chicagomag.com \| share:	31
	Hard job and bad marriage lead to early death source: cosmiverse.com \| share:	34
(PeTA.com)	PETA sends the NCAA a package of vegan chocolate basketballs source: peta.com \| share:	88
(Some Unreal Guy)	Review: If it didn't have "Star Wars" in the name, I'm guessing you'd skip it. source: unrealisticexpectations.com \| share:	37
	Phone shields don't reduce radiation; Tin-foil hat stock skyrockets source: wired.com \| share:	21
(straitstimes.com)	Study: Asian drivers are among the world's worst drivers, complete with examples source: straitstimes.asia1.com.sg \| share:	101
(Star Tribune)	Photoshop these Star Wars fans source: a888.g.akamai.net \| share:	86
	Review of Moby's new disc. (Follow-up to Tuesday's Rush thread) source: cnn.com \| share:	196
	54 climbers to reach Everest summit today. Starbucks' construction crew following close behind source: msnbc.com \| share:	40
	Gummi bears defeat fingerprint scanners source: theregister.co.uk \| share:	38
	Same court that fined man $200 for farting in police station foyer fines woman $500 for sneezing in policeman's face source: news.com.au \| share:	23
(Arab News)	Baldness crisis sweeping thru Saudi Arabia source: arabnews.com \| share:	41
	English introduce new carrot colors. In other news, still no cure for cancer source: cnn.com \| share:	41
(Some Guy)	More reason to kick yourself for being born in the wrong generation: nude slumber parties. source: bayarea.com \| share:	145
(OneFootball)	Korean restaurants plan on giving away free dog meat during World Cup source: onefootball.com \| share:	49
	The Fridge, Olga and Manute weigh in for Celebrity Boxing 2 (with pic) source: pagesix.com \| share:	40
(Shift)	Man argues there should have been MORE Jar Jar in Episode II source: shift.com \| share:	24
	Star Wars review. Ebert: it sucks. Roeper: it was great. source: suntimes.com \| share:	105
	With Bobbitt's arrest, man wins "When Will John Wayne Bobbitt Beat His Bride" contest. source: ncbuy.com \| share:	22
(Medford Mail Tribune)	Cop that shot at a kid who threw chinese food at him absolved of any wrongdoing in shooting but reprimanded for flipping the bird source: mailtribune.com \| share:	31
	Duck caught speeding on camera (with pics) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	36
(SacBee)	Christian school expels kindergarten student because her mom is a topless dancer source: sacbee.com \| share:	366
(activedayton.com)	What happens if you name your son "Amy"? He ends up on a most wanted list source: activedayton.com \| share:	36
(Some Guy)	How to make fire shoot from your car's exhaust pipe source: autoloc.com \| share:	52
(Daily Probe)	The new Star Wars characters, including Curly Fett. source: dailyprobe.com \| share:	16
(Some Guy)	Add Screech from Saved by the Bell and Horshack from Welcome Back, Kotter to fighters for FOX's Celebrity Boxing 2 source: eonline.com \| share:	34
	Caption George Lucas writing on this girl's notepad source: us.news2.yimg.com \| share:	141
(AJC)	US mint discussing printing money in different colors source: accessatlanta.com \| share:	81
	Photoshop Fidel Castro in a somewhat reavealing position. source: us.news2.yimg.com \| share:	139
	NASA launches $952 million satellite this morning "just for the hell of it." source: satirewire.com \| share:	25
	Democrats angry that Bush broke their fundraising records, plan to gather a mob of Buddhist monks to retake the record source: newsmax.com \| share:	48
(Some Guy)	How to build powered model airplane the size of a match source: thermonuclear.com \| share:	71
(Some Hawkeye)	Iowa City Fark Party in planning stages source: groups.yahoo.com \| share:	62
(Some Guy)	Britney blah blah Justin blah blah sex blah blah source: itv.com \| share:	63
(KMED.com)	33 obscure facts to help you win a bar bet source: kmed.com \| share:	178
	Star Wars is Lucas' destiny source: cosmiverse.com \| share:	38
(Drunk Gamers)	10 things you can spend your $200 on instead of an XBOX source: drunkgamers.com \| share:	54

Wed May 15, 2002
	Think the LAPD learned from Rodney King? No, says latest report. source: latimes.com \| share:	32
(Some Awesome Chick)	Its aboot time we had some gorgeous weeners for us farkettes source: pcforwomen.com \| share:	134
	Bush had been warned of 9/11 attacks before they happened source: robots.cnn.com \| share:	236
(First Church of Pac Man)	O Pac-Man, glutton divine, Thy roundness is exceeded only by thy yellowness.Thou takest away the barriers in the maze of life, Thou makest fruit to appear before me, Thou turnest my enemies blue. I humbly offer this quarter unto thee source: flamingmayo.com \| share:	56
(Some Guy)	A conspiracy of super hackers rules Las Vegas' telecom infrastructure. source: online.securityfocus.com \| share:	45
	Forget the movies, strip clubs are the new trend in dating source: thedenverchannel.com \| share:	101
	Tell me if you've heard this one: a priest, a pedophile, and a hood try to kill the governor of Arizona... source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	41
	Man who watched 637 straight USC football games dies source: espn.go.com \| share:	41
(Channel 4000)	Playing soccer in the nude, a college tradtion at Drew's Alma Mater source: channel4000.com \| share:	38
	Heidi Fleiss on why she turned down celebrity boxing: 'I may be a pimp, but I'm not a whore" source: sportsbybrooks.com \| share:	46
	2002 most livable state rankings source: morganquitno.com \| share:	209
	The man credited with inventing the point spread dies at the age of 98 source: sportsbybrooks.com \| share:	37
(Some Guy)	Sound fx search engine. Like Google image search except with thousands of sounds. source: findsounds.com \| share:	52
(Some Guy)	Jury Duty got you down? Guess what: You as a juror have the right to overturn laws. Legally. source: sumeria.net \| share:	154
	Kids say the darndest things...while packing heat. source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	122
	Brain surgeons leave bandage in woman's head source: mdn.mainichi.co.jp \| share:	24
	Theme: photoshop a fake video game. The best entries may be featured on a nationally televised show. This link doesn't go anywhere source: fark.com \| share:	311
(Some Guy)	Advertising in Britain? Don't mock dwarves. source: asa.org.uk \| share:	31
	CBS airs part of Daniel Pearl's execution video despite his family's requests not to source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	114
(Some Guy)	Man pukes up bag of marijuana on cop, apologizes, says it isn't his. source: click2houston.com \| share:	55
(thestar.com)	U.S. farm states want even more farm cash source: thestar.com \| share:	86
(ajc.com)	Vanilla Coke debuts source: accessatlanta.com \| share:	111
	Jeff Nelson auctions chips from his elbow on eBay source: espn.go.com \| share:	37
	60% of office employees have flings with co-workers source: cosmiverse.com \| share:	89
	Science will provide: Check out the unintentionally amusing sales pitch on this "space-age" rubber doll. (not safe for work) source: cyborgasmatrix.com \| share:	161
	Slobs rejoice. Housework found to have no health benefits. source: newscientist.com \| share:	21
	Hornets co-Owner George Shinn's 27-year-old son, Chris, purchased and wears t-shirt that says "George and Ray Suck," in reference to departed team owners source: sportsbybrooks.com \| share:	22
(Some Guy)	Mother in jail for letting kids skip school. Kids given day off school to visit her. source: sky.com \| share:	26
	Pot does not ease MS symptoms source: cosmiverse.com \| share:	88
(startribune.com)	Minnesota is one again selected as the most liveable state, except December through February when it gets ass cold source: startribune.com \| share:	81
	Large McDonalds shake has 1,010 calories. source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	96
	Man shot by roomate over $1,000 electric bill from grow lights source: sfgate.com \| share:	45
	Los Estados Unidos son el Mexico nuevo source: chron.com \| share:	129
(Rocketpack.org)	How to be a drunk asshole source: rocketpack.org \| share:	63
	Canadian tobacco companies release new warning labels source: thedailybull.ca \| share:	32
	Skip the gym. Go to the bar. Germans say its healthier source: msnbc.com \| share:	34
	Teacher goes to court to seek the right to hit students. source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	124
(United Justice)	Osama bin Laden composite photos. He could have turned into a Mennonite, a Rastafarian or a cab driver. Photoshop some more possibilities source: unitedjustice.com \| share:	102
	Acura Integra now most-stolen car. Rice-car fans freak out source: usatoday.com \| share:	73
	FBI proposes 'Super Squad' to fight terrorism. Their five powers combine to create 'Captain Conservative, the Terrorist killer' source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	43
	Fruit of the Loom cancels adult underoos. Maxim provides link and a survey to renew interest source: maximonline.com \| share:	45
	Jet contrails could be affecting the weather. source: wired.com \| share:	27
(Paknews)	Operation Snipe was really an operation to rescue 76 US POWs source: paknews.com \| share:	49
	Grocery chain proposes wrestling to settle lawsuit source: azcentral.com \| share:	23
	Japanese urged to see the nice side of loud drunken rioting English soccer fans source: uk.news.yahoo.com \| share:	38
(Right Wing News)	Negotiating peace between the Israelis and the Palestinians is impossible. Here's why... source: rightwingnews.com \| share:	146
	Anna Kournikova "nipple profiling" testimony source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	42
	Napster CEO resigns amid realization that Napster sucks now source: reuters.com \| share:	47
	Firefighters suspended after allowing rock band to take a joyride in their trucks source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	26
	BoobieTV: Maxim may start own 24-hour tv channel source: foxnews.com \| share:	34
(Rolling Stone)	Courtney Love brags about all how great the long awaited Nirvana box set is while having no plans to ever release it source: rollingstone.com \| share:	155
(Some Scientologist)	Help your friends learn more about scientology source: scientology.org \| share:	125
(startribune.com)	xBox price comes down in response to PS2 price reduction source: startribune.com \| share:	240
(Some Guy)	Bizarre and funny patents. Includes a fart collecting device and beer barrel headgear. source: patent.freeserve.co.uk \| share:	33
(Some Guy)	Asthmatic 80 year old rescues kids from fire source: sun-sentinel.com \| share:	28
	Wrestling star Chyna to fight Joey Buttafuoco after John Wayne Bobbitt gets arrested source: mycfnow.com \| share:	74
(Some Guy)	Nationwide alert issued for hijacked truck carrying deadly sodium cyanide source: mycfnow.com \| share:	120
	Japanese schoolgirls sell socks and sex source: mdn.mainichi.co.jp \| share:	121
	Undefeated tic-tac-toe chickens not allowed to play in tournament source: bayarea.com \| share:	23
	NASA to start using Ebay and other auctions to find parts for space shuttles. source: cosmiverse.com \| share:	45
(The Atlantic Monthly)	Everyone currently alive in Europe is related to Charlemagne. Medieval France surrenders. source: theatlantic.com \| share:	23
(Some Guy)	ABC has a new TV show called Meds. Which is Australian slang for tampons. source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	46
	Last call for Fark party at Cedar Point this weekend source: bit0.com \| share:	27
(Arab News)	Saudi Arabia takes steps to snuff out terrorism by forbidding men under the age of 18 to drink coffee source: arabnews.com \| share:	30
	Buddhist monks with LSD-inspired pink and green soccer balls source: us.news1.yimg.com \| share:	106
	Jose Canseco to write 'tell-all' about steroids, women and drugs in Baseball source: msn.espn.go.com \| share:	12
	Not only is Wil Wheaton one of FHM's Covergirls, the pics are pretty damn scary too source: fhmus.com \| share:	78
(Fark Parties)	FarkoasterFest pre-parties - Syracuse, NY and Toronto, ON. Also Farkparty site has been updated with new Yahoo Groups and etc. source: pcbiz.net \| share:	18
	13 year old faces 8 years in prison for felony spitwad attack source: sfgate.com \| share:	88
(Honolulu Advertiser)	College Engineering students designing greenhouses for Mars source: the.honoluluadvertiser.com \| share:	26
(Some Kiwi)	New Zealand Cracking Down on Sheep Farts source: news.nationalgeographic.com \| share:	37
	retroCRUSH takes a look at Underoos (not yours) source: retrocrush.com \| share:	50
(Some Guy)	Photoshop Boba Fett and this busty blonde source: skaines.com \| share:	91
	Ford to build 340hp Crown Vic police cruiser. Bye-bye, Camaro source: popularmechanics.com \| share:	108
(football365.com)	Uri Geller promises not to use his psychic powers to influence football games. source: football365.com \| share:	38
(Trentonian)	Teenagers find $50,000 inside walls of vacant house. Sales of Incubus albums skyrocket. source: trentonian.com \| share:	62

Tue May 14, 2002
(Centralmaine.com)	Warning to drivers in Maine: Moose may be licking the road source: centralmaine.com \| share:	41
	Photoshop Chebacca getting a touchup on his makeup source: bayarea.com \| share:	162
(razormouth.com)	Beer brings bucks for English church source: razormouth.com \| share:	21
(ABC Australia)	Lithuanian women no longer have to get a gynecological exam to get a drivers license source: abc.net.au \| share:	47
(Some Guy)	Lowtax's fiance forced to review worst game ever source: somethingawful.com \| share:	75
	Tawny Kitaen's claws come out in court. source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	50
(Fairfield Ledger)	Maharishi University demolishes dorm because it 'brought negative energy' source: zwire.com \| share:	31
	Fourth graders suspended for using their fingers as imaginary guns source: thedenverchannel.com \| share:	71
(MPR)	Killing yourself through anorexia is now considered a "lifestyle" choice. In other news, alcoholism is now considered a hobby. source: news.mpr.org \| share:	73
	Now, there are so many surplus buffalo the US government is killing them and giving the meat to Indians source: foxnews.com \| share:	53
	Ariel Sharon has been betrayed source: english.pravda.ru \| share:	47
(hollywood gossip)	As America gets fatter, our celebrities get thinner source: hollywoodgossip.com \| share:	74
	Restaurant inspector shakes down eateries: demands smokes/cash for clean bill of health source: boston.com \| share:	28
	Dell guy to start showing up everywhere. France surrenders. source: news.com.com \| share:	88
	Photographer claims he mistook sunbather for Kournikova due to her nipples source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	56
	Video of cyclist crashing on volcano while attempting to break speed record source: mycfnow.com \| share:	91
(Some Guy)	Photoshop the first Spiderman comic source: intuitivewebdesigns.com \| share:	135
	America got a treaty and Russia got nothing source: english.pravda.ru \| share:	23
(Some Dead Sci-Fi Writer)	Take a free personality test, compliments of the Church of $cientology source: scientology.org \| share:	173
(Some Guy)	The non-gamer's guide to what RPGs and role-players are really all about. source: members.aol.com \| share:	128
(Some Guy)	Texas Aggie Corps cadet tired of hearing "This one time in band camp" breaks the jaw of Aggie drummer. source: thebatt.com \| share:	151
	Pope gives Internet his blessing, despite Fark & boobies. source: msnbc.com \| share:	67
(Some Guy)	Remember Scorched Earth? Its back and on the web. source: scorch2000.com \| share:	85
	Amtrak train crashes into log truck. Survivors being treated for splinters. source: nandotimes.com \| share:	32
	Federal Court rules that racial discrimination is legal. Equality surrenders. source: cnn.com \| share:	267
	Tyranny of the Twit, somehow an ABC columnist has discovered the Nazi rule. source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	59
(St. Paul Pioneer Press)	MN Legislature not to require mandatory Pledge of Allegiance in schools source: twincities.com \| share:	102
	Jennifer Love Hewitt apparently on "Christina Ricci" diet; somehow still has amazing rack. source: fhmus.com \| share:	245
	Spoiler free review of Star Wars Episode II source: aintitcoolnews.com \| share:	35
	Theme park offers lifetime membership for return of stolen Spider man comic book. source: ncbuy.com \| share:	27
(Some Guy)	A list of banned books and "reasons" for their removal source: fatchucks.com \| share:	495
(the maxx)	List of brand names commonly used as product's name (e.g. Windex, Kleenex). What else can you think of? source: themaxx.com \| share:	275
(startribune.com)	Farmer killed by cow. PETA snickers but has no comment. source: startribune.com \| share:	82
(E!)	Sopranos finally coming back. source: eonline.com \| share:	63
(Star Tribune)	Fox offers Round 2 of 'Celebrity Boxing' source: startribune.com \| share:	73
(DesMoines Register)	Iowa police put 310hp V8 Camerao cop car on the road source: desmoinesregister.com \| share:	175
	Quiz: gang sign or sign language? source: fhmus.com \| share:	68
(Guardian)	Ozzy: "It could be worse. I could be Sting" source: media.guardian.co.uk \| share:	74
(Austin Statesman)	Samuel L. Jackson asked for purple lightsaber. It's the one that says "Bad Mother..." source: austin360.com \| share:	67
	Burglar who tries to strangle South African woman ends up in hospital when the 45-year-old karate expert fights back source: reuters.com \| share:	107
	The Man Show to stop production. International day of mourning called for. source: cnn.com \| share:	115
(Some Horny Guy)	Babes of science.. fiction. So it isn't science; who cares, it's boobies. source: fantasynews.co.uk \| share:	49
(iWon)	From the "It's Your Fault" department. Aaliyah's parents sue record company. source: apnews1.iwon.com \| share:	56
(Some Guy)	Episode two pics source: engr.oregonstate.edu \| share:	74
	More highway spillage: Spilled hazardous material in Calif. turns out to be vodka source: 66.54.5.40 \| share:	43
	United States Map of Nuclear Power Plants- East Coast Surrenders source: insc.anl.gov \| share:	89
	Trucker falls asleep, accident spills 15,120 dozen eggs. source: thetimesonline.com \| share:	39
(Some Guy)	New Rush album "Vapor Trails" released today source: rushvaportrails.com \| share:	317
	Soccer, Salaries and the U.S. advantage. source: msnbc.com \| share:	45
	Man abducts girl from suburb, drives her to McDonald's, buys her a soda, returns her home unharmed source: news.com.au \| share:	73
	Hovercraft for sale source: dailynews.yahoo.com \| share:	22
(Some Guy)	Man goes on quest to find out what the 2000 parts are that Lever 2000 claims to clean source: richmackin.org \| share:	35
(startribune.com)	Baseball team puts stadium hot-dog vendor on team. Is now starting third baseman hitting .320 . source: startribune.com \| share:	26
(Mother Jones)	New 7-UP ad mocks prison rape source: motherjones.com \| share:	118
	Porn is still making money online. Drew to open "Drew Curtis' Porn.com" source: azcentral.com \| share:	35
(Some Guy)	Apparently, Israel is entitled to all the land from the Nile to Iraq source: promisedlandcampaign.org \| share:	171
(Some Guy)	"Not Second Coming of Fark Freebie Day" continues: Free golf shirt or towel. source: iarchive.com \| share:	25
	Russia will join NATO. World domination almost complete. source: news.bbc.co.uk \| share:	48
	What's shakin' in San Francisco. 5.2-magnitude earthquake hits. source: telegram.com \| share:	46
	It's coming. It's travelling 900,000mph and will blast directly through the Earth. Beware of the STRANGELETS. source: telegraph.co.uk \| share:	50
(FilmFestivals.com)	Danny Elfman Finally Recognized For Talent source: filmfestivals.com \| share:	80
(lochness.scotland.net)	Buy You're Very Own Loch Ness Shotglasses. source: shop.lochness.scotland.net \| share:	40
	Jane. Stop This Crazy Thing. Escalator speeds up at Angels game, 15 hurt. source: sports.yahoo.com \| share:	52
	Photoshop Darth Vader chilling like the Mad Villain he is. source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	165
(Some XP user)	18 Tips for Better Gaming in WinXP, Linux users surrender source: gamespot.com \| share:	97
	Philly Fark Party source: groups.yahoo.com \| share:	89
(Netscrap)	Top 10 things you would to hear Mace Windu say in Star Wars prequals source: netscrap.com \| share:	46
(Some Bored Guy at Work)	Bored at work? Try your luck with some of these games. source: coffeebreakarcade.com \| share:	28

Mon May 13, 2002
	80% of people don't let work interfere with personal web surfing source: satirewire.com \| share:	32
(Bill Nye)	Science Monday on FARK continues: Spintronics - quantum computers take one step closer to reality. source: sciam.com \| share:	36
(Cartoon Network)	Cartoon Network contest to turn winner into custom Jedi action figure. Now you can finally stop pretending your Obi Wan When you play with your Natalie Portman doll source: cartoonnetwork.com \| share:	67
	Everybody's favourite sport: Concrete canoe racing. source: canoe.ca \| share:	44
(some familiar guy)	Scientists have theories of what causes d�j� vu. Agents changing something in the matrix is not one of them. source: sciam.com \| share:	101
(Aerotech News & Review)	Pentagon train bees to sniff out bombs source: aerotechnews.com \| share:	41
	College students are choosing sign language classses instead of a foriegn language source: robots.cnn.com \| share:	78
	Nothing is found as Operation Snipe lives up to its name source: reuters.com \| share:	18
(peta.org)	PETA's latest target: A High School team named the 'Packers' source: peta.org \| share:	150
(thestar.com)	Normally harmless cat chases family out of house, eludes police for 2 hours. source: thestar.com \| share:	67
	DNA kits becoming a hot marketing freebie. No, this isn't the Second Coming of Fark Freebie Day. source: usatoday.com \| share:	13
	Thong busting Vice Principal's says career destroyed trying to control "freak dancing" source: story.news.yahoo.com \| share:	140
(abc.net.au)	Cambodian Prince who sued newspaper for calling him a corrupt stupid chicken ass awarded $0.025 cents source: abc.net.au \| share:	33
	$150 gets you an "international drivers licence" source: chicagotribune.com \| share:	27
(heraldsun.news.com)	Man who ran over policeman claims he got into high-speed pursuits to test road-rally skills source: heraldsun.news.com.au \| share:	79
(Some Guy)	Kimberley Stanfield is a farking goddess.....kittens beware source: eroticworld.metropoliglobal.com \| share:	129
(Arabnews)	18! source: arabnews.com \| share:	57
(www.asiacarerra.com)	Asia Carrera Blooper Pictures (not safe for work) source: asiacarrera.com \| share:	157
	Classic TV moment: William Shatner sings Elton John's "Rocket Man" (RealVideo; scroll to bottom of page for link) source: scrabo.com \| share:	59
(Canada.com)	Canada recruiting hackers source: canada.com \| share:	53
	Website for the "revolutionary" anti-grav devices. Segway surrenders. source: americanantigravity.com \| share:	94
	Top 10 biggest cheaters in baseball history source: espn.go.com \| share:	157
	Climbing the Star Wars Family Tree. source: wired.com \| share:	70
	Alabama county residents threatened with arrest if they don't install septic tanks they can't afford source: nandotimes.com \| share:	120
(Some Sniper)	Charities hire sniper teams to go after ivory poachers after poachers start using RPGs to hunt elephants source: guardian.co.uk \| share:	150
	ESPN readers give their opinions on the dirtiest players of all time source: espn.go.com \| share:	54
	Portland, Maine is becoming addicted to heroin source: boston.com \| share:	173
(Some Cheat)	Everybody. StrongBad Email. source: homestarrunner.com \| share:	94
(Nick Maier)	How Goldman Sachs manipulated the prices of IPOs source: dotcomscoop.com \| share:	44
	Scientist find giant clawed turkey fossil source: dsc.discovery.com \| share:	40
(nydailynews.com)	Democrats overjoyed that Hillary maybe running for VP in 2004 source: nydailynews.com \| share:	183
	Teens smash 12 cars during tractor joyride source: mycfnow.com \| share:	31
(LostBrain)	Mike Tyson's School of Dentristry source: lostbrain.com \| share:	23
	Bush #41 has a strong influence on Bush #43 source: csmonitor.com \| share:	85
	The second man to walk on the Moon is constructing a shuttle system between Earth and Mars source: cosmiverse.com \| share:	51
(Dailysouthtown.com)	$25K gets you a handshake and possibly a photo with Pres. Bush and a plate of herb-roasted chicken source: dailysouthtown.com \| share:	81
	NASA's latest invention: frozen smoke source: cnn.com \| share:	61
	Get your hip waders ready. 124 mile long Iceberg breaks off in Antarctica. source: usatoday.com \| share:	71
(Channel 4000)	Lion bites Busch Gardens zookeeper's arm off source: channel4000.com \| share:	69
	Anti-gravity device set to change the world almost as much as the amazing "segway" did. With video source: wired.com \| share:	143