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Thu March 04, 2021
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
See, this is why you want the kids back in school. That way the kid can't tell the teacher that her mom is next door with a knife stabbing a three year old. If she was in school, she wouldn't know until later & the teacher couldn't call the cops
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this empty roller coaster
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
"94-year-old crossing guard has no plans to slow down" I'm no expert but this seems like a terrible quality in a crossing guard
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
16-year-old had a BB stuck up his nose for 8 years. How did he smell? Awful
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Facebook uses a billion Instagram photos to teach AI how to "see." So if you're not making duck lips or showing off your ass, you should be fine during the robot apocalypse
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Prince Phillip's gonna party like it's 99, says Palace
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Interviewing residents about robberies? That's a robbin'
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
Entire (poor) neighborhoods were destroyed to build freeways that fueled urban and suburban growth. A Zillow glitch allows you to see where those houses used to stand. Progress has a cost, and that fee should never be forgotten
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Proving that air suckers are born every day, UK company sells bottled fresh air for over $100 a bottle of the finest coastal air in all of Cornwall
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lansing State Journal)
 
 
 
'I don't give a sh-- if I get fired, I don't give a sh-- if I get arrested for drunk driving.' OK, Police Captain
source: lansingstatejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Durango Herald)
 
 
 
Don't bring a knife to a gun fight, no problem. How about a flamethrower to a gas station?
source: durangoherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
Idaho tots with mental issues have not been coping well with the pandemic. Sad mashes obvious po tay toe jokes
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshear this sheep
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
🎶 Don't push too far your dreams are China in your ass. Don't wish too hard because they may come true...China in your ass 🎶
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Anti-mask crusader is finally asking the right questions: "Why doesn't Trader Joe's sell cocaine?"
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Tsunami threat to Hawaii being assessed following magnitude 8.1 earthquake in the Kermadec Islands region. No kaiju spotted as of this time. Giant robots being deployed as a precaution
source: tsunami.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Russian MMA fighter dubbed "Popeye" says he now regrets injecting petroleum jelly into his arms to make himself look like he does (w/video)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
When crossbows are outlawed, men in tights get very nervous
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTW Myrtle Beach)
 
 
 
Showing the cost effectiveness of the War on Drugs, Myrtle Beach SC pays out $11 millions after no-knock raid based on $100 pot sale, instead of picking up $20 in tax revenue by legalizing it
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(Daily Mail)
 
Boobies
 
Boobies in SPAAAAAACE
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mational Day Calendar)
 
 
 
Happy National grammar Day be sure too thank you're English teacher
source: nationaldaycalendar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Georgia's new Porch Pirate bill could make package theft a felony. Arrrgghhh
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Euro Weekly News)
 
 
 
Dead man comes back to life on the autopsy table. A stake through the heart and decapitation would have taken care of that. Don't doctors watch horror films?
source: euroweeklynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
2pm Eastern - it's the Fark News Livestream, Thirsty Thursday edition
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Rando sets fires to homes of city officials, police chief, two other cops, two relatives, two doctors, and neighbor. **Correction** "rando" is former police chief and former Major in Prince George's PD. Never change, PG county. Never change
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Nominative determinism in action: teacher Anu Tester is banned from teaching for having sex with a student
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
It's proper etiquette to ask before jumping on the neighbor's trampoline. It's even more proper to be clothed
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUCI)
 
 
 
Today's two hour serving of 80's alt/post-punk/new wave includes music from Squeeze, Flesh For Lulu, The Rave-Ups, and The Replacements. Hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like on pastFORWARD #197. Starts 1:00 PM ET, LGT streaming options
source: kuci.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Most New Yorkers would be excited to discover a whole other apartment hidden behind their bathroom mirror
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 6 Providence)
 
Video
 
Doorbell camera catches Amazon delivery driver peeing on grocery order
source: abc6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are Central PA)
 
 
 
Q: How many of the 53 Pennsylvania waterways sampled have microplastics? A: Yes
source: wearecentralpa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Magazine)
 
 
 
Worried about pets visiting you on the Toilet? We've removed the door. And walls. Poop with Pride while waving to your guests
source: bostonmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
The Great Horned Owl strikes again
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Virginia fisherman catches 1,000 pound bluefin tuna, just in time for Lent to make lots of tuna salad. 'I owe it all to God'
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
After fences, cameras and calls to the cops failed to solve anything, neighbors took shifts standing guard over an Asian-American family targeted by racially motivated attacks. If this doesn't work Olivia Munn plans to don her Psylocke costume
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
President Donald Trump's 2nd inauguration. Coverage begins at 11AM ET
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Several dogs were sickened and required treatment after eating pot and meth at a park, showing that your dog shouldn't try pot and meth. Not even once
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Optimus Prime is defeated by his most powerful foe yet: The Georgetown Advisory Neighborhood Commission
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Texas governor: "No more masks." .. Texas retailers: "Masks"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
Sauron is back
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Britain's sexiest bus driver
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Iceland volcanic eruption 'imminent' after thousands of earthquakes rock the south-western region of the country. Good thing two-thirds of the Icelandic population lives close by
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Train delayed over two hours after cat climbs on the roof and refuses to leave
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Idiocy on masks and vaccines may result in summer being canceled
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
NY Public Library says they will continue to lend the six censored Dr. Seuss books until they are no longer in acceptable condition or stolen and sold for a small fortune on eBay, whichever comes first
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hotel bedroom
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Yep, that's the face of a woman wanted in a nationwide manhunt for murder
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
On second thought, perhaps having 'Pretend Like You're A Slave' day at school wasn't such a good idea after all
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
What a bargain. For just 3/4 of a million dollars. Luxury
source: toronto.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVY Dothan)
 
 
 
Orange apron? Check. Meth? Check. Brilliant plan? See previous question
source: wtvy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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