Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Tue July 16, 2019
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
There's usually only traces of cocaine in your hair follicles. Then there is this guy
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
A panhandler rejects a guys offer to work for $15 an hour, so the guy retaliates with his own sign warning drivers not to give him cash
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Woman's topless photobomb ruins family's Texas state park vacation. "We're trying to recreate memories. Having some chick's boob isn't allowing us to do that" (sfw)
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NASA)
 
 
 
T minus 1 hour
source: nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Relevant Magazine)
 
 
 
Stetson Baptist Church winds up with a tithing surplus for the fiscal year. Does the pastor A.) Buy a new Porsche B.) Build an addition to his mansion D.) Buy and then cancel $7.2 million worth of medical debt for 6,500 families
source: relevantmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
New York City restaurant worker killed by dumb waiter. Well there goes his tip
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bend Bulletin)
 
 
 
Self-styled vigilante "creep catcher" nets his first arrest
source: bendbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
Everything you ever wanted to know about the Bagel Boss but couldn't be arsed to ask
source: ny.eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
"I'm fifteen, and I would rather have a criminal record that be complicit in climate change." Gotdamn, there is hope for the future
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Power outage on Capitol Hill. Totally unrelated to what happened in NY, right?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Fedex in Atlanta expands to include priority delivery for gunshot victims to hospital
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phoenix New Times)
 
 
 
"Fark them. They're 20-year-old dopes," says Phoenix news anchor in reference to local alternative newspaper, not realizing she was broadcasting at the time
source: phoenixnewtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
Man finds a tin of beer in a fish that he caught and cracks it open -- yep, still good
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 15, 2019
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Officials are "reviewing logs" to find the serial pooper at the community pool. Carl Spackler nods approvingly
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Why give up chicken farming? "Ducks can swim"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
The state is losing the battle against sea level rise and damage to infrastructure and valuable beach property; no, not that state, the OTHER state with lots of coastline
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Italian police raid Swiss-owned warehouse, discover French air-to-air missile originally sold to Qatar but suspected to be destined for Russia-backed separatists in Ukraine. The Gambia denies any involvement, walks away whistling
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hey baby, I'm a modern human, wanna hook up sometime?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Spiffy: eight-year-old girls beats cancer. Awesome: donates all her birthday gifts to the hospital that treated her so other kids could have them. Damn it, don't they ever dust these rooms?
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAFB Baton Rouge)
 
 
 
"All gas no brakes" turns out to be foreshadowing for this lucky guy (Mugshot goodness)
source: wafb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ottawa Sun)
 
 
 
Throwing a vacuum at your brother's head, wielding a pitchfork in your underwear, and hiding in a kiddy pool isn't normal. But on meth it is
source: ottawasun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
When future internet searches return your name along with "particularly heinous" and "moose poaching," don't blame anyone but yourself if dating and job hunting don't go so well
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Dog dropped off at shelter in a CapnCrunchBerry⁩ cereal box now named 'Razz Berry'
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
ICE offers family a literal Sophie's Choice. But don't you dare call them Nazis
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Alaskan man shoots, kills polar bear, leaves body outside home for five months to rot, presumably as a warning to others
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
This is your brain on drugs trying to use a toy phone and a toy credit card, kids
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Paul's Memory Bank - OTR Edition (8PM EDT) continues the radio series of 'My Favorite Husband', 'The Stan Freberg Show' and 'Superman'
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this blue door
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Please select the reason why you are returning your glitter mug: 1) product arrived damaged 2) product was not what you ordered 3) you discovered the person who made it has autism
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Penguins? In my sushi bar? It's precisely twice as likely as you think (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nerdist)
 
 
 
Sequel to The Last Starfighter being developed. Well, they've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against incredible odds
source: nerdist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Former bar host arrested for pimping out his girlfriend in Osaka to cover both her host club debts and his debts. Nomination to Boyfriend Hall of Fame seems out of reach
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Alligator Bob has been removed from alligator removal job that surprisingly does not take place anywhere near Florida
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
High crime, high car insurance rates, bad roads, bad sports teams = The most stressed city in America
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Passed out drunk and stuck on a fence by your zipper is no way to go through life, son. But it's damn hilarious
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: The ghost of a masturbating ape haunts the hallways of a grand country estate in Dorset (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
If you've ever wondered how surgeons would go about separating conjoined twins, connected at the top of their heads and have intertwined brains, today's your lucky day. Difficulty: no duct tape
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
The origin of "...and Bob's your uncle"
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Are you an alcoholic? Dosing yourself heavily with ecstasy can 'cure' you, make you love everything
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
A record setting python that tops 200 pounds and is over 20-feet long = Florida Monday
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
That spaceship on top of a Florida strip club? It was actually supposed to be the 'house of the future'
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Judge piles on more time to Charlottesville car attack driver's sentence, will now have to wait two lifetimes plus 419 years to renew his driver's license
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Add a new verb to your lexicon: Saran Wrapped
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this nighttime monolith
source: live.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Feds warn potential gawkers that the military "stands ready" at Area 51. Presumably with alien death rays
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC4i)
 
 
 
As if there weren't enough reasons to stay out of Alabama, you can now add "meth gators" to the list
source: nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
So, you went to the zoo, but the panda was sleeping? Try throwing rocks at it to wake it up and entertain you
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
The weirdest Amazon Prime Day deals (slideshow warning)
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cut)
 
 
 
The most rich, white, New York City story you will EVER read
source: thecut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Looking back at that time we faked the moon landing to fool the Soviets. Wait, I mean landed on the moon. Damnit Siri delete all of that and don't fark it
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Load older headlines
These are only a small percentage of links submitted. Join TotalFark to see them all!

Link archives »






On Twitter




In Other Media
Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report