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Tue March 19, 2019
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Turns out people would rather live near wind farms than suck on tailpipes for the sweet, sweet freedom
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Pissed-off skier swallowed by avalanche... sorry that's Off-piste skier
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
The man had reportedly wrapped raw meat around a neighbor's door handle, urinated on the linoleum outside their door, and smeared toothpaste on their door peephole. Seattle needs a Tag. And oh yeah, he also stabbed a cop
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Despite recent outbreaks, 20 states have pending laws expanding anti-vaxx allowances, presumably thanks to some super-secret child-sized body bag lobby
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
April 2nd: 49th birthday party in Robinsonville, MS for a Farker who should have died from what John Ritter did. Never met any other Farkers but would love to
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wandering woman
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 58 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
A case of Monster energy drinks for a buck & change? Just don't use your Fresh Perks savings card at the checkout. Double Fark: the perp tried this at two stores
source: cbs58.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Google announces a new comprehensive ultimate gaming service that it will duplicate and kill off in 3 years
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Jersey 101.5)
 
 
 
Pro tip: If you are going to transport a still illegal stash of marijuana and other "homemade" edibles laced with pot or THC in your car, try to remember to follow ALL driving rules
source: nj1015.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
As it turns out, telling homeless people to just go be homeless somewhere else is not a long term solution
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Crowbar-wielding unicorn who robbed a High's convenience store for cigarettes and cash is arrested after his getaway driver crashes into mailboxes, pole, and tree. Friendship is magic
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
South LA gas tanker explosion raises safety questions, probably not including 'how can gas tankers safely explode'
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man of the house
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Detroit man shoots himself in the foot while doing his part to defeat the bugs
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
It's always nice to give a heartfelt gift to a complete stranger, but offering them the gift of flight by throwing them off a freeway overpass is not universally accepted
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
This will certainly make the next family reunion a bit awkward
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Robo cop dog busts drug dealer. You have thirty seconds to bring him steak
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Runaway cow wreaks traffic havoc on NYC highway
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Mothers who lost children to disease are being attacked, harassed by anti-vaxers, trying to suppress most potent reason to vaccinate your kids: They could die
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Fairytales have started coming true. Great news for now, but watch out for ogres (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
The federal government is offering $1,000 to anyone who adopts a wild horse. Dr Evil unavailable for comment
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Arby's manager pepper-sprays, chases employee with knife, police say
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Today in "Have we tried throwing more money at it?": how switching to electronic medical records became a clusterfark after spending $36 billion on it
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
Weeners
 
Some things your penis can tell you about your health ... and when it's time to see the doctor. In related penis news: Yes indeed, your penis can talk to you
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Tourist: I think I'll take a picture of this tourist trap. Tourist Trap: WE HAVE LICENSE TO USE ALL YOUR PICTURES NOW! Rest Of The World: That's not how this works. That's not how ANY of this works
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Alien)
 
 
 
March 20th is Extraterrestrial Abductions Day. Celebrate by star gazing in an open field wearing your favorite A-ha shirt
source: cute-calendar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
[Gentrification intensifies]
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Sanford woman who accused husband of child abuse faces child porn charges. Without knowing any more, it's safe to assume everyone involved is a big dummy
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Retired doctor fills in as busboy to help waitress daughter, saves choking woman's life
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Remember the ref who made the black wrestler cut his dreads? He's suing for emotional distress because of course he is
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Couple armed with knives try to rob gas station clerk who keeps a machete behind the counter. The resulting fight video really needs Yakkity Sax added as a soundtrack
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Mall of America welcomes... what could possibly go wrong?
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Major cyber attack leads to unfortunate smelting incident
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
White House says reporters will lose their press badge if they weren't on White House grounds 'at least 90 days' in the past 180. Trump himself was on White House grounds just 44 days when there was a scheduled event
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zenfs images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this slacktivism
source: media.zenfs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"The citizens of tomorrow are granted no rights." Sorry, Superman
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Man kills time while waiting in Social Security Office by a.) doing crossword puzzle, b.) checking Facebook, c.) masturbating in front of hundreds in lobby
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
If you hit a bicyclist and sped off without the front end of your Camaro, Indianapolis police would really like to talk to you
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
After Florida voters overwhelmingly approved medical marijuana in 2016, governor immediately signs bill. In 2019. "Smoke 'em if you got 'em, stoners"
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You know a marriage will go well when they take separate honeymoons. We may have reached Peak Millennial
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Virginia State Police are manually checking the records of 2,400 defendants found not guilty by reason of insanity to make sure they are barred from buying guns. Sleep well Virginia, sleep well
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Oh FARC
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
To make insult worse than injury man who put lead in his pencil the hard way is charged. Most likely not his best day
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Police: That woman we pulled over shot herself in the mouth after we handcuffed her behind her back. Yeah, that's the ticket
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of San Diego)
 
 
 
So that's who's been writing all the vaccine exemptions in San Diego
source: voiceofsandiego.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Miami)
 
 
 
Old News: Felony assault. Florida Challenge: Pancake batter-y
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 18, 2019
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Doctors: Hey, remember how we told you to take a low dose aspirin every day to help prevent heart attacks? Well, um, don't actually do that because you could die. Sorry, our bad
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Seafood Guy)
 
 
 
Man arrested at the airport for smuggling 15,500 tons of shrimp. He planned to barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it, pan fry it, deep fry it, stir-fry it, make pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp and coconut shrimp. That's about it
source: undercurrentnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Your ugliness times your age times your availability divided by your desperation = swipe left or right
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Town shuts down after influx of tourists cripple roads in an effort to get a look at a bunch of allergens
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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