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Tue January 22, 2019
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"I was in the pond. I WAS IN THE POND"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this laundry room
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Research reveals that in the last few years liver transplants for alcohol-related disease have increased 50%. In completely unrelated news, the number of Fark parties has increased by the same percentage
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"David Schwimmer lookalike: Police make arrest" With pictures, of course
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
That's a spicy meatball
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Guess what Florida man does at "Wheels Up, Guns Down" event. Go on, guess
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Oscar Mayer on the hunt for its next Wienermobile driver
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Britain panics at the possibility of thundersnow
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
How do you explain away a dozen hickeys? This 84-year-old 'Octopus Whisperer,' has faced that tricky question many times
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Pro-Tip: If you're going to rob four rich college kids on a late-night Krispy Kreme run, don't leave your burner phone in their Porsche coupe
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
CBS blunts effort to buy medical marijuana ad for Super Bowl, company says
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Private Indiana park to host fenced cougar hunt June28-29. Entry tickets on sale February 22nd
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: Wisconsin man goes on ax rampage over action figures
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Your NEST security camera became self-aware at 8 pm, January 20, 2019. It begins learning at a geometric rate. At 8:10, it warns of nuclear retaliation against North Korea for firing three ICBMs at the US. Or....you were hacked and it was a prank
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
"Police said the alleged carjacker repeatedly revved the engine to drive off, however was 'apparently unfamiliar with how cars work, because the vehicle was in park the whole time.'"
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CounterPunch)
 
 
 
Shoot the messenger, okay. But why do you have to shoot the trees? They're not invasive, they don't use up precious groundwater and they throw more shade than Kanye off his meds
source: counterpunch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 12 Westchester)
 
 
 
Man fatally shot in Amityville. Suspect described as large, grey, has many rows of sharp teeth, and a fondness for swimmers
source: longisland.news12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Performing a sex act for $5 and a can of Pringles? You better believe that's a shooting
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Genes affect where fat is stored on your body. Jeans affect how much it sticks out
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Generation X: Don't you, forget about me... don't, don't, don't, don't
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Dick Camp uses his dick to dicker his wife into dicking up her job so he can build a camp for dicks. Dick
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Supreme Court to get fuct
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
It was so cold in Alabama that an ice penis formed in someone's birdbath
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The Oscar nominations are out, and it's looking like Pretentious Indy Film will beat out Insufferable Indy Drama and Token Action Film for Best Picture
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Jacksonville sky gazers enthralled by Super Blood Wolf Moon failed to notice high tide engulfed their car. Dammit, Moon Moon
source: amp.news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Houdini at the Charles River Harvard Bridge in Boston, April 30, 1908
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
14-year-old girl, 12-year-old sister steal same car twice in 4-day span, crash it into parked car. Never did make it to the pay & spray
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
Get'cher popcorn: 11foot8 bridge claims first victim of 2019. With twofer bonus round at the end
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Government Technology)
 
 
 
Louisiana is the first state to implement digital drivers licenses, giving Louisianans more pocket space for ammo
source: govtech.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Camera captures what happens when a snow plow get stuck on railroad tracks
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Henri d'Orléans, noteworthy pretender to the Throne of France, dead at 85, as embattled Macron solidifies his grip on power
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Diego Reader)
 
 
 
City passes resolution allowing dancing. This is not a repeat from 1950
source: sandiegoreader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Cool: Watching the Lunar Eclipse. Dumb: Laying in the middle of the road. Fark: Getting run over. UltraFark: By a Cop. Yep, Florida
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Welcome to the world's largest gathering of human beings. Please don't drink the water
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 21, 2019
(Stabroek News)
 
 
 
Venezuelan arrested in Guyana for having 5 rounds of ammunition. With a helpful pic of what a round of 7.62x39 looks...look, you guys aren't helping fight the "journalists think anything firearm related is AK-47" meme
source: stabroeknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Man invited to bachelor party by mistake goes anyway ...and flies 2,500 miles to attend it. Because party
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Life is so good in the Netherlands, 25% of all deaths there are by forms of euthanasia and suicide
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Echo News (UK))
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when you have to pay a fine because a pigeon poops on your parking permit, covering up the expiry date? And then that fine is upheld? Yeah, me too
source: echo-news.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Teens arrested after shooting man with paintball gun. Apparently, there were no good guys with paintball guns around
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
This month in history 1867: The Dreadful Skating Accident of Regent's Park claimed 41 lives but many were rescued. Wait a minute. Back up. The what?
source: blog.britishnewspaperarchive.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these bathtub racers
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight on Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET) and we'll go into my iTunes library for a sampling of stuff I downloaded in the month of January (not this year)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Madison Square Garden February 8 for 25th Anniversary of last Stanley Cup win
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Canadian winter Festival of Snow cancelled due to snow
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Normally people drive up to toll booth, pay toll, then drive off to cross bridge. This young woman goes for extra points, a la Death Race 2000
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The life of a flight attendant is not always glamorous. In fact, it can be downright gross
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
'Stone circle' in Scotland found to have been created in ancient times, aka the mid-1990s
source: stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southgate News-Herald)
 
 
 
Porch pirate chews poorly
source: thenewsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Man observes KFC worker handling money, then handling food. Then later on he observes a middle finger and food tossed in his face
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this benched man
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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