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Tue September 25, 2018
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
FL teacher fired for refusing to give 50% credit when students haven't turned in assignments. In other news, not doing anything will get you 50% in FL schools
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Bad: Woman claims she found a needle in McDonald's fries. Awkward: Police search her home and find a packet of 20 needles with one missing
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
You're a doctor in West Virginia. Do you a) specialize in family practice and help low-income patients, b) work as an orthopedist and help football injuries heal, or c) write 130+ prescriptions a day for opioids over a period of 8 years
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Bag of cocaine found at senior center. Man, those baby boomers really do insist on going out in style
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Florida man gets 20 years in prison for stealing $600 worth of cigarettes, which seems like a tough sentence for just taking three packs
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
A fool and his money are soon parted, but a desperate person and a high-risk auto loan may well be inseparable
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Photoshop these horses wearing fly masks
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: How to become Fark-famous
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHQA Quincy)
 
 
 
When confronted with the imminent threat of bedtime, four-year-old Illinois brat goes with a.) screaming, b.) kicking or c.) Second Amendment Solution™
source: khqa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Americans are shocked, SHOCKED to find out results of survey about what sex fantasies couples really want (NSFW content on page)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Juicer)
 
 
 
Photoshop this slicing ninja
source: guides.overstock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
They're puddin' Cosby away for 3 to 10
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Inmate escapes work crew, gets craving for sweet tea at same time deputy arrives for lunch
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Frozen embryos 'mistakenly' destroyed at medical center, causing pain and grief to both hopeful parents and whoever just had the world's nastiest smoothie
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when your parents show up at college and hog the beer bong?
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Hope you've been watching TV this week, we have several questions about what's new and what happened. It's the Fark Weird News Quiz, Sept 16-22 Nobody Watched The Emmys This Year Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
Weeners
 
New skyscraper erected in China has two hill shaped structures either side and fireworks shoot out the top. You'll never guess what people are comparing it to
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
In today's "only in 2018 mad lib headline": 'Lion King' Puppet Technician Arrested After Allegedly Printing 3D Gun At Theater
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
LAPD to crack down on Skid Row voter fraud, potentially putting out a Warrant for a Motley Crue of Ratts who are putting Poison in our democracy. Hopefully, this won't cause a Quiet Riot
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Impromptu Grizzly bear party, Yellowstone area, starting Monday
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Bible BOMBSHELL as archaeologists have no evidence of anything (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Millennials are ruining the divorce industry
source: bloombergquint.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
First goats tricked humans into letting them do yoga, now they've convinced us to take them for helicopter rides
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Priest known for silk underwear blames child sex abuse on cancer he never had
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
20-Pound Belly Cyst is the name of my Meat Puppets tribute band
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Don't throw rocks at your neighbor's house even if it is on fire. Wait, especially if it is on fire
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Criminal masterminds keep breaking into an industrial hemp farm and making off with, well . . . industrial hemp. Which has many uses, including paper, textiles, biodegradable plastics, construction, health food, and fuel. You just can't get high from it
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Today in Not News, the Mars rover beamed back a picture of an "alien" after glitching. With enhanced pic that shows a spooooky hole in a rock (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this 1940's newsroom
source: 3.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
If you crashed your truck through an airport fence in Oklahoma and left behind your headlights, most of the front end of your truck and "About five unopened cans of Coors Light and one of Michelob Ultra Cactus Lime," police would like to talk to you
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Worker spits on pizza and gets arrested. Worker who filmed it and tried unsuccessfully to show management before posting it online gets fired
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
National Sexual Assault Hotline gets a 57% spike in calls after Kavanaugh allegations, and some of them aren't even about him
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Sweden's PM to step down after losing confidence vote. Will continue until new government can be formed, but only after they find that damn Allen Wrench that always goes missing
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
5 days after a fire ravished a senior complex, they find a 74-year-old guy in his apartment. Alive. And he would like to know what took so long to check in on him
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Monsanto's leading pesticide is killing the bees
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Shut. Down. EVERYTHING
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Collector's Weekly)
 
 
 
Demolishing the California Dream: How San Francisco Planned Its Own Housing Crisis
source: collectorsweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Mom leaves 4-year-old home to party. Yeah, break out the crayons and applesauce, oh, the mom went partying, okay never mind
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Last week it turns out you can't pick up hitchikers with the school bus, this week we learn it's a bad idea to let the kids drive. Seems like there's no fun in being a school bus driver any more
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
You have a forty percent chance of getting away with murder in America
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Naked man in park was 'just in the woods masturbating, minding my own business'
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN reports that there is another 777 missing from the South Pacific
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 24, 2018
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Australian mother finds one of the most deadly snakes in the world in her daughter's bed. Her son, in true Aussie fashion, demands to "see it"
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this happening
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vicejay)
 
 
 
From a Farker who has worked a *lot* of disaster response, a suggestion on how to help those impacted by Hurricane Florence, DIT
source: foodbankcenc.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
Audio
 
Since the DJ's diet consisted of a good percentage of NyQuil last week, the server will be put in auto-pilot for tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT). DJ's cat voices displeasure by projectile vomiting in the bedroom doorway
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
California cities to replace grass with homeless people
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Tokyo hospital forced to stop fertility treatment program after 70 years, explaining that it no longer has enough anonymous sperm donors to artificially inseminate women. Officials considered using robots before dismissing proposal as silly
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Everett Herald)
 
 
 
Prius driver refuses to pull over for cop because ... "I drive a Prius"
source: heraldnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop subby's boy in a cockpit
source: photos.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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