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Thu April 25, 2019
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Mum tries cheap at-home lip filler treatment, turns herself into a freak with 'sausage lips' after nasty reaction
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Semi-naked man not named Vinny tries to stop thieves stealing his ute
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NECN Boston)
 
 
 
Finally we see the end result of printer ink and toner being more valuable than the printers themselves
source: necn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Burglars make off with numerous colonoscopes. Probably an inside job
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this record setting melon slicer
source: cbsnews1.cbsistatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
If you must kill a fish that's been hanging around since dinosaur times, using a bow is definitely the way to do it (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Help Wanted: Hard labor, odd hours, low pay, cool helmet
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"Mommy, there's a weird creature in my closet". Mom: "no dear, you know there is no such thing as monsters, you're fine." 3 days later
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Assistant fire chief charged with arson after truck's GPS rats him out
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Little shiats aren't buying anything. Get off my lawn, you little commies. No, I am not renting out my lawn
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You don't actually hate pineapple on pizza, you're just a mindless lemming
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Even the jaded employees at a New Zealand McDonald's were mildly surprised when a guy marched through their drive-thru with a dead deer on his shoulders
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
Law & Order is distracting, especially while behind the wheel. Dun dun
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Kuwaiti academic discovers that homosexuality is caused by a worm in your butt. No that is not a metaphor
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
American bomb damages German town. This is not a repeat from 1945
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXXV Waco)
 
 
 
Semi loaded with avocados overturns on Texas freeway. Holy guacamole
source: kxxv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
When driving a school bus, please leave your beer bottles and weed at home. And obey traffic laws
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
There is now a malaria vaccine for the anti-vaxxers to ignore like the f*cking idiots they are
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northeast Explorer)
 
 
 
April is moron-hiker season in New Hampshire
source: northeastexplorer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Jersey Courier-Post)
 
 
 
Hugh Manatee sparks internet meme, childrens book, Fark headline
source: courierpostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 729: "Tiptoe Through the Tulips 2'". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 24, 2019
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
A murderous giant bird is looking for a new owner. Do you have the feathers to take it on?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Satanic Temple recognized by IRS as a tax-exempt religious organization. "Cool" tag because there is no "Hot as Hell" tag
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
"Um, I'd say, go where volcanoes are?"
source: nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Traveling to Idaho? First of all, I'm sorry. Second of all, why not stay in the most Idaho structure imaginable?
source: thisisinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in the UK a cop has just been found guilty of assault for using his Taser and pepper spray during an arrest, must now resort to using only harsh language
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Subby's cause of death, one way or another, in five charts
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Non Fark: Please adopt my dog so I don't have to take her to a shelter. Sure I'll give her a home Fark: Ok but you'll need to pay $350 for her. Umm I thought you said you'd have to take her to a shelter? Ultra Fark: I know and I will, so pay up
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Jersey 101.5)
 
 
 
New Jersey Turnpike Authority realizes the commute was going too easily for some drivers and announces plans to fix the problem
source: nj1015.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Heavy metal, children's books, and of course a black hole question are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, April 7-13 Real Housewives Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
Boobies
 
Football, bewbs, the imminent destruction of life on Earth - this one's got it all (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
OMG I just won $768.4 million. Lump sum, $477 million. Feds: "Nope, $362.5 million". IRS: "LOL $300 million." Wisconsin: Pbbhhhttt, $264 million. Winner: "FML, ...* sucks*
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Papa's Got a Brand New Bag)
 
 
 
Photoshop this burlap container
source: images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
ROID RAGE: Cesar Sayoc, the man behind the pipe bombs sent to lawmakers blames steroids .. tight underwear
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Prince Philip seen driving for the first time since crashing his car in January. Apparently he was the only one around and the Queen's corgis wanted to go for a ride
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Airline passenger en route to Moscow detained on the flight for hours after drinking rum and cursing
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Fireworks display in downtown Milwaukee Tuesday night was part of marriage proposal
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Yellow pocket angel eggs anyone?
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
CIA want-ad for Russian speakers has garbled grammar, which just goes to show how badly they need Russian speakers
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Body of missing Illinois 5-year-old AJ Freund found. Both parents charged with First Degree Murder
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Redfin)
 
 
 
Fark Unrealty: Christ, it's like a Hallmark/Precious Moments store exploded. No single topic really captures the horror, so, 'Murica
source: redfin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
FDA approves the first generic nasal spray to treat opioid overdoses which is weird because we already have cocaine
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hovering hummingbird
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Lawyer, whose Yelp profile says he's a "personal injury attorney with honesty, integrity," arrested for using a shoe cam to look up a teenage girl's skirt. With "My life is over" mugshot goodness
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Denver Police Department swears in a horse for the first time in history
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"The Night King is the true hero of GoT,' so we should all be rooting for him." Also, this article may or may not include nude photos of Arya. You have to click to find out. Look, just click or the WaPo editors will shoot this dog. CLICK DAMN YOU
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Polly warns a crackhead
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
72-year-old man stabs nephew for taking too long in the bathroom. Wait till he finds out there's no paper left
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Today is Armenian Genocide Remembrance Day, or as Turkey calls it, One Million of Our Neighbors Wandered Into the Desert and Starved For Some Reason That We Had Nothing To Do With Day
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Microsoft blocks the latest Windows 10 update from computers with USB storage, because it randomizes your drive letters. Are they even testing these updates anymore?
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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