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Wed September 18, 2019
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
A survey of 28 countries finds that America has the highest concentration of goddamned morons
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Ecards)
 
 
 
I know, I know. You like the idea of owning a Sandy Hook or Columbine branded hoodie, but you don't want to seem like you're unaware of what happened there. Well, don't worry. These ones have pre-made bullet holes
source: someecards.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
ΣΑΜ had been on double secret probation all along, it would seem
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
To be fully comfortable on their big day, engaged naturist couple is willing to pay servers and bartenders £30 an hour to serve nude wedding guests while stark naked themselves. The giggity economy rolls on (NSFW)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Subby didn't know what hell was until he read this article about conditions on fishing trawlers in the Pacific. Now he's gonna have nightmares for a long time. Enjoy your tuna salad sammiches, everyone
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Man buys Hummer with stolen recycling funds, the equivalent of 300,000 bottles wasted
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Large Missouri farms are now protected from local health regulations. This law stinks
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
"Mummy Marauder" is the name of my Iron Maiden ska cover band
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Only in Montana: pair of grinning dudes peruse the merch at sporting goods store in search of new clothes, still wearing the hospital jammies they got while being treated for the grizzly bear attack they survived
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Kentucky woman stops for gas, finds stranger in the trunk of her car
source: wnky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 17, 2019
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Someone missed the class in Journalism 101 on writing headlines
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Thanksgiving comes early to Ann Arbor
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Millennials turn to Twitter to discuss their plans for retirement. It goes about as well as you think it does
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Republican Shoot lives up to its billing
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
"Hey Admiral, are we forgettin' somethin'?" "Like what?" "I dunno, somethin' important?"
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
"The deputies searched the apartment and found two partially naked women in the master bedroom." The tag tells you that it's not the fun kind of police call
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Canada arrests former spy chief for stealing covert information. One can only assume maple syrup recipes and moose breeding guidelines
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Another problem with SoCal freeways is drivers don't know how to share the road with naked cross-wielding church vandals
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
World's largest ball of lint to be set on fire in Michigan. Just to be clear, this is not a metaphor for Flint, the Lions, the UAW, Jim Harbaugh, or Betsy DeVos
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Who's gonna drive you home tonight?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
California reporter explains on air that she tried to 'reach out' to a man killed in a police chase. He was unavailable for comment
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this miniature driver
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
FARC are about to cause serious mayhem in South America. Which everyone here already knew (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
No, you're not a monster, just inattentive
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVO Kirksville)
 
 
 
Iowa Supreme Court to review murder conviction of Mose Schrute cosplayer
source: ktvo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Father helps wife deliver firstborn in bathtub at home after hospital sends them home. "Everyone that we showed the picture to was like, 'Wait ... why is there shampoo in the background?'"
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Dumbass)
 
 
 
Shirtless man who tries to fight grizzly bear only winds up paying $4,000 fine, but Darwin will surely balance the books one day
source: airdrietoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Daily low-dose aspirin, which was sort of good for you and then sort of bad for you, is now sort of good for you again. Especially if you're trying to follow medical news without developing some sort of anyeurism
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(Merriam-Webster)
 
 
 
Merriam Webster adds more than 530 new words and phrases to its dictionary, including "free solo," "deep state," "dad joke," and the nonbinary pronoun "they"
source: merriam-webster.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10TV Columbus)
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this one: a doctor, a church man, and a firefighter walk into a police sex sting
source: 10tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Carson moves to ban gun sales, possibly following witty banter with Ed McMahon
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Buddhist monk and tiger
source: static.emol.cl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
SCENE: Beijing, China. A somber man stands up: "Gentlemen. We face a crisis of unprecedented proportions. It is time . . . to open the Strategic Pork Reserves"
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Today's hour-long Manhattan traffic jam was for a good cause, indistinguishable though it was from any other hour-long Manhattan traffic jam
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Godzilla?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Wanna buy Anthony Bourdain's chrome duck press, steel and meteorite chef's knife, or collection of obscure oil paintings? Gather up your money and help fund a kid's scholarship to CIA
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Would you like to play a game?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKBN Youngstown)
 
 
 
♫ "Redd up boppli? Ich bin die Jacob, and this buggy is rutsching around while rumspringa up in this barn. ♫ ACH JAH, ACH JAH, ACH JAH". ♫
source: wkbn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida deputies searched for a missing boy with autism for hours. Their bloodhound found him in 28 minutes
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUL Tulsa)
 
 
 
Eighteen-year-old showed a coworker a video of her new AK-47, then said something about shooting 400 people for fun. Promptly reported and arrested. So we got that going for us
source: ktul.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Someone flew a plane under a bridge in 'dangerous stunt', but hey you only live once, right?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
U.S. Navy confirms UFO videos are real, never should have been released. So... space aliens are real
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man fired for farting gets his own documentary
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Old and busted: spray painting racial slurs. New Florida: spray painting the word 'slur'
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Not News: Montreal man has $800 in rolled change. Fark: His bank won't deposit the money
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Christian protesters have spotted a musical that's just too darned sexy for their liking. Difficulty: The musical's from 1973 (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Woman gets DUI after showing up to pick up boyfriend from his DUI
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
The strike on Saudi oil facilities just proved that ballistic missiles and traditional air defense systems are obsolete, and pretty much anyone with enough money can attack whatever they want. Sleep tight
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Semen explosion leaves a mess for farmers who'll need to come up with an alternative
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Caption this meeting
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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