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Fri January 18, 2019
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
"The best thing to do is remove yourself from the situation." So, moving out of Australia then
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Excuse me, do you have Prince Philip in a new car?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Fark Ready: Smoking crack, sex while driving land Nashua man under arrest in Manchester
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
El Chapo's ex-mistress says she was 'traumatized' by that tunnel escape. The beheadings, automatic weapons, relentless cruelty, and mountains of blow, not so much
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
And the award for best policeman name ever goes to... this guy
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this water tower
source: i3.wp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
UPS driver strips, grabs wet biatch in what could be the plot of Magic Mike 3
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Criminal: "You'll never catch me alive, coppers." Nearby pond: "lemme help"
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Sleepless Nebraska student builds 84 snowmen in one night. This story is brought to you by Adderall
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
Manson follower who tried to assassinate President Ford is now living quietly in upstate NY, at least until one of you asshats puts the White Album on
source: syracuse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greeley Tribune)
 
 
 
♫ Swastika Acres is the place for me / At least that's what it says on my deed ♫
source: greeleytribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Three years ago, India committed $3 billion to cleaning up the Ganges River. Let's check in on how that's going... oh
source: graphics.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this colorful donkey
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Is a gang of serial killers murdering young men across the country? Possibly. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Police department seeks volunteers to get drunk -- and the response is overwhelming
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
El Chapo's 29-year old mistress becomes the latest person to "flip" on him at trial, describing in detail their relationship and business dealings she was involved in; and since his WIFE was also in the courtroom, she's likely the NEXT one to flip
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Mayor of Jamaica, Iowa arrested at 420pm for 18 plants
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Woman chugs an entire bottle of cognac when stopped by airport security. What's her Fark handle?
source: munchies.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Indiana is so backwards the Nazis live in Zionsville
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Let's play a game. Without looking at the caption, can you spot the camera in the photo of the room? No? Well, Airbnb claims it's easy to see, so that means you consent to being secretly filmed
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Echo park mudslide crushes cars. ᴱᶜʰᵒ ᵖᵃʳᵏ ᵐᵘᵈˢˡⁱᵈᵉ ᶜʳᵘˢʰᵉˢ ᶜᵃʳˢ
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
A metric ton of weapons-grade plutonium? A fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with that stuff
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Why is China blurring men's ears? I SAID, 為什麼中國模糊了男人的耳朵?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Yale pulls out of plan for contraception vending machines
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Magazine suggests women put parsley in their vagina to induce period. Doctors say this is a terrible idea. Also, as this is the Daily Fail, we must now doubt the existence of parsley and periods
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dancin' doggie
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Best Korea celebrates its victory over the ocean by opening a beach resort
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Silly smart objects, smart toilets, and cars too smart for their own good. It's the Fark Weird News Quiz, January 6-12 Cornbread Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Two words: S......l......o......t......h y.......o......g......a
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
New York City will be a snowing freezing hell this weekend rather than its usual regular hell
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Three Bentley owners prove that the cars have great brakes in £1 million pile up. New driving skills not included
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWTX Waco)
 
 
 
Reset the church shooting clock
source: kwtx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Sometimes, when your ceiling-based burglary spree through four stores is doomed to failure, you drink the liquor you stole and fall asleep until the cops show up
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(St. Louis Public Radio)
 
 
 
Winner of Ironically-Named Retirement Home Contest, Friendship Village doesn't want any old lesbians around
source: news.stlpublicradio.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston 25 News)
 
 
 
Subby and Woburn Police on the lookout for Marijuana Claus, but not for same reason
source: boston25news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man killed by hit and run driver just blocks from his home. Well, if they know where the driver lives, why don't they go arrest him?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lonely Planet)
 
 
 
Virgin penetrates wet hole, hits bottom
source: lonelyplanet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
What the fark are you doing? (HONK) Get the fark out of here, you clown (HONK, HONK)
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Like a slow-motion version of Final Destination, man who escaped from the World Trade Center on 9/11 is killed in Tuesday's terrorist attack in Nairobi
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
Video
 
If you helped saved the life of a man on the NYC subway last month, the survivor would like to thank you personally
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Sixteen year old finds about 25,000 lbs of golf balls in the ocean... in one little spot near some golf courses Why do golfers hate the planet so much?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 17, 2019
(Calgary Sun)
 
 
 
11-Foot-8, meet 3.8 Meters. You two should have a lot to talk about
source: calgarysun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Brace yourselves for a winter storm to end all winter storms this weekend as up to forty inches of snow has been forecast for some areas and over half the country will freeze
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Straight-A student unintentionally paid for his school lunch with counterfeit money. He has now been suspended by his metro Atlanta school
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Finally, the real reason why Brexit isn't working: Government minister rules out Batman becoming Prime Minister
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
He wanted to take one last stab at it
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Man looking at decades in prison for swindling companies into sending him free stuff by pretending he was on the Phillies, a member of Three Days Grace, and a member of Drowning Pool. Based on his mugshot, I would believe a couple of them
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Dog food recalled because it has too much vitamin D, which is not vitamin Dog as subby thought
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Justin Trudeau secretly invades Kentucky, brings the wife and kids and a canoe in case he needs to make American beer analogies
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Jumping over the Metro turnstiles remains a crime in DC. Don't worry, you can still smoke pot with impunity
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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