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Thu May 26, 2022
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Soros says Russia is full of gas. Should fart in your general direction soon
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
"Thats a mighchoo big mushroom. I bet it would be delicious on the barbie with steak 'n a col' victawriah bitder Fair dinkum mate"
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blog Toronto)
 
 
 
Being stuck on a rollercoaster can be an unpleasant experience but it is so much worse when you add in a massive storm
source: blogto.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Turns out the police in Uvalde DID go into the school during the shooting. Unfortunately, there's just one small catch
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Euractiv)
 
 
 
Great news: Germany to send antiaircraft tanks to Ukraine. Not so great news: the ammunition for them is in short supply so delivery will not be until July. Good thing they're not required immediately or anything
source: euractiv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Abbott: Cops "showed amazing courage by running towards gunfire for the singular purpose of trying to save lives." AP News: Police waited outside the school for at least 40 minutes while parents and onlookers urged them to do something
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NL Times (Netherlands))
 
 
 
12 Monkeypox cases in the Netherlands, some of which were contracted at a leather and fetish festival in Belgium where at least 12 monkeys were spanked
source: nltimes.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUCI)
 
 
 
Today's 2-hour serving of '80s alt/post-punk/new wave includes music from Fad Gadget, The Waitresses, The Call, Midge Ure, and more. Hear what commercial radio doesn't sound like on pastFORWARD #348. Starts @ 1:00 PM ET, LGT streaming options
source: kuci.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to die on a movie set
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(8 News Now)
 
 
 
Lake Mead water levels so low you can see Michael Richards' career
source: 8newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
We interrupt this special annual bulletin on Memorial Day travel gridlock to bring you higher gas prices. And apparently more gridlock
source: eu.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RTE Ireland)
 
 
 
World's largest bottle of whiskey which holds enough to fill 444 standard bottles sold for €1.3m at auction to an anonymous buyer which reminds me, has anyone seen Drew lately?
source: rte.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
46 insane things that only exist in Seattle. Come for the cream cheese on hot dogs, stay for the annual naked bike ride. Article to the left, frenzied argument to the right
source: secretseattle.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Let's give a big hand to the doctors who gave this Scots dad who received the 'world's first' double hand transplant for his new lease of life. No, OK how about a fresh two-handed clap?
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
There's Fark-ready headlines and then there's this headline
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IFL Science)
 
 
 
Study finds men act differently around women with erect nipples. Who are we to argue with science?
source: iflscience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Our annual hurricane forecast is out ... and we are SO screwed
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Independent)
 
 
 
Man turns up at hospital A&E with short-term memory loss as he valiantly attempts to blot the memory of sex in the afternoon with his wife from his mind. Giggity tag has forgotten what it does so Scary stands in
source: independent.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
How about, "I'm sorry that you're probably going to be gunned down in a classroom, but you have to understand that there are many, many insecure men in this country, and guns make them feel brave, and your life just isn't worth their self esteem"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
We just avoided Uvalde II
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
This just in from the UK, where apparently they still don't have the internet (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"I want Shell execs and management to look in the mirror and ask themselves if they really believe their vision for more oil and gas extraction secures a safe future for humanity"
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high roller
source: usrimg-full.fark.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Day 92 of WW3: Zelenskyy tells Kissinger what everyone thinks about him, Russia conducts a massive offensive to take Odie's original owner, and the ACA is enacted but not the one you think. It's your Thursday Ukraine War thread
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(8 News Now)
 
 
 
You gotta pay an extra $35 to check a bag but the proverbial kick in the nads is always free at Spirit Airlines
source: 8newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Just like the 21st century, in the Roman Empire pants were considered a bad thing
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCRZ Flint)
 
 
 
"Oh My God, Hobby Lobby Got Hit", woman shoots video of EF-3 Act Of God in Gaylord, MIchigan
source: wcrz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gilbert Grape)
 
 
 
What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine. It is your Bad Joke Thursday thread
source: parade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
She's right, you know
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Not News: Dog bites man News: Man bites dog Fark News: Man becomes dog
source: geo.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Man extremely happy about his former job, which allowed him to sexually assault 44 women while his bosses covered for him. With bonus pic of happy man
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
"Onlookers urged police to charge into the Texas grade school where a gunman killed 19 children and two teachers, a witness says. The rampage lasted upwards of 40 minutes"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
"More children have been killed in school shootings than police officers have been fatally shot in the line of duty in 2022. It's more dangerous to be a student than a police officer in America"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
California water use restrictions upgraded from "not enough" to "still not enough"
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 890: "The I's Have It" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 25, 2022
(US News)
 
 
 
Russia to start arming rascals, walkers and big-wheels
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Estately)
 
Weeners
 
The most lewd sounding names in each state (NSFW?)
source: estately.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
How the hell could there be $19,000 in jewelry to steal from one Walmart?
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"The Second Amendment did not come down from Sinai. The right to bear arms will never be more important than human life. Our children have rights too. And our elected officials have a moral duty to protect them." Think "Christians" will listen?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Graduation time
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop this trio of windmills
source: usrimg-full.fark.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
You won't believe these genius Ukrainian war hacks. #5 will blow your mind like a T-72 turret
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Truth or Fiction)
 
 
 
The Onion isn't the only newspaper to change details for an article on another mass shooting. The New York Times did as well
source: truthorfiction.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Short answer: No. Long answer: Noooooooooooooooooo
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Her next book will be written from prison and titled "How To Murder Irony"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Audacy)
 
 
 
The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, "Right here, officer"
source: audacy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Baby Boomers to become first robosexual generation, surprising everyone for ten seconds until they remember the Boomers get everything first
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop these two lookers
source: usrimg-850.fark.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Fiction Anthology)
 
 
 
'Everyone is a potential murderer. In everyone there arises from time to time the wish to kill, though not the will to kill.' - Agatha Christie, Curtain. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, Plotting Murder Edition
source: farkfiction.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Keaster meets end at 69
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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