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Tue February 19, 2019
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Little Caesars employee types 'gay' instead of customer's name on receipt, because if anyone knows gay, it's a midget roman pizza man
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Man dies in portable toilet fire at Baltimore Ravens stadium in a 100-way metaphor collision
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Messy Nessy Chic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this icon of days gone by
source: static.messynessychic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
India rejects Pakistani PM's claims of attacks on Kashmir, says Physical Graffitti is overrated anyway
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
It's a pretty good night when you punch a pinball machine, head butt a cop, and bite an EMT
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: This one weird trick deep-sixed digital media
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
'The Tale of Mr. Coin Collector Killed Over a Rare Beatrix Potter 50p Coin'
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
FDA comes out against voluntary vampirism
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
New Universe Map unveils 300,000 more galaxies. "I'm significant screamed the dust speck"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-12-23 to Sat 2018-12-29
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
US will not seek to prosecute ancient tribe who protected their homeland from an invading illegal immigrant who probably carried life-threatening diseases
source: faithwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Former NFL player had a long-running feud with a neighbor over a parking spot and agreed to meet at a nearby school to "settle it." Unfortunately, the neighbor apparently realized he'd agreed to fight a former NFL player and brought a gun
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
NASA on track to match the achievements of Apollo 8 by the year 2024 for the low, low cost of $60 billion. That's over 3 Armstrongs
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Ah, the old "exploding turkeyburger" trick
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Much like your mom, Las Vegas is giddy over the prospect of getting a couple inches for the second time in a week
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Not news: dog bites man. News: man bites dog. Fark: dog shoots man. Ultrafark: man loses right to guns after dog shoots him
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Virginian-Pilot)
 
 
 
Companies are using fitness trackers to monitor employees in spite of privacy concerns. On the one hand, it could encourage more active employees, but on the other hand they may wonder how you manage to jog three miles while in the employee bathroom
source: pilotonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Thirty-nine states. 200 million people. Snow, ice, and torrential rain. The next winter storm is here. EVERYBODY BUY EGGS AND BREAD AND MILK
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
One killed in Fife crash between car and semi-truck. See, this is why you keep your flutists off the road, people
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Kindergartener thought it was bring your gun to school day. At least he had the safety on
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN Money)
 
 
 
You'll be shocked to learn how this woman whose mom paid for her college and who got married to a doctor saved $100,000 in 3.5 Years. Or maybe you won't
source: money.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Homeless Florida man with live rattlesnake wrapped around his neck prompts calls from concerned citizens, as apparently that's a bit too far for even Jacksonville Beach
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
High angle rescue offered as an add on attraction at Sea World San Diego
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Maryland town hopes to boost tourism by building a monument to John Wilkes Booth
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Three-year-old kicked off flight for throwing a tantrum over having to sit next to a drunk 32-year-old. Strike that, reverse it
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
This probably won't get greenlit so my day is already ruined
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The Grand Canyon's taxidermy show was hotter than anyone expected
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Scientists warn of rare megastorm that could overwhelm LA-area dam and flood dozens of cities. Naming rights to the movie in the works
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Parents concerned some teachers do not consistently use their children's preferred pronouns. Missing the sine qua non of a teacher's job
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Soot Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this chimney sweep
source: media.angieslist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
More than 7,000 have signed a petition to sell Montana to Canada to help pay off the national debt, since who needs Montana, anyway?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"The man in the seat across from me has taken HIS PANTS OFF for the flight and is just in his boxers. Flight attendants seem unconcerned. This is going to be a long flight" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Father spinning gun on finger accidentally shoots self at daughter's birthday party
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Female bodybuilder accused of spreading porn online by Chinese web police after she posted bikini video. In other news, they must have some really crappy porn in China
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Chicagoans form Skee-ball leagues for adults who love old-school game. Deadpool, Jay and Silent Bob seen lining up to play
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Montgomery Advertiser)
 
 
 
Alabama newspaper publishes the quiet part out loud
source: montgomeryadvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Be sure you double check that waiver you sign before you agree to play "Cowboy Pinball" for the chance for $100. Getting flipped by a bull as your last memory might not be worth it. (with video)
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Wisconsin deputies solve crime using the old "follow the footprints in the snow" approach
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Man rescued from quicksand. Wait, quicksand is real not something invented by the writers of Gilligan's Island?
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHSV Harrisonburg)
 
 
 
West Virginia teachers' unions call for strike over education bill
source: whsv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Anchorage Farkers still have an excuse for stumbling on the way home from the bar, as that November earthquake is up to 9,000 aftershocks and shows no signs of quitting
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Increase in violins causes a sudden change for an Italian town
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Five bystanders injured in shootout which apparently involved storm troopers
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon February 18, 2019
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Rich fools keep buying real estate on Florida's coast without realizing there won't be a real estate or even a coast or even a Florida
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Herald)
 
 
 
Megachurch pastor fired after recordings surface of plan to place child pornography on Christianity Today's CEO's computer. Was that wrong? Is that not what Jesus would do?
source: dailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Don't let your 5-year-old wander near the interstate unless he's got a protective Great Pyrenees/Shepherd looking after things. Naming the dog "Lassie" wouldn't hurt
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Man with huge yen for old pants wrangled them but couldn't sell them when pressed
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
If you're accused of murder, you might want to clear your phone's search history, lest the police find you're looking for info on "how do police find DNA"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Police locate man who "messed with the wrong queers" (w//video) (NSFW language)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
"States are facing a new danger as legal marijuana spreads across the country: Explosions and fires at facilities that extract hash oil." Well of course, there's likely to be trouble when the oil hits the alkanes
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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