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Fri May 24, 2019
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Seven Things to Do With Your Kids in N.Y.C. This Weekend." Not listed: Leave the little bastards at home while you go enjoy some barbecue
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cal Coast News)
 
 
 
Bow chicka bow WOOOOOOOOOOOOW
source: calcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Just in time for pollen season, Seattle explores congestion pricing
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Neither snow, sleet, hail, or freezing rain will stop Ottawa's postal workers from making their rounds. But a skunk spotted in the neighborhood is a different story
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
*Kung Fu music starts* Homeless man: "You have dishonored my dojo." Random stranger: "What?" Homeless man: "Iron Palm strike" *Kapow*
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Within days of milkshake attacks on right-wing figures becoming a thing, the first milkshake truther conspiracy theory has arrived (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
A 16-year-old cat named Tigger chases off two coyotes who thought he would make a good breakfast. With doorbell camera footage of badass kitty
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Because if you're going to break the dress code, do it in the fiercest way possible
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
'Owner Of Rowdy Beaver Gets Federal Prison Time For Failing To Pay Taxes'
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Technically, it's not Uber, it's Unter (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News24)
 
 
 
The Colombia Security Service really need to work on their spying methods
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Never forget the faces of the men who landed on the shores of Normandy on June 6th, 75 years ago. (pics)
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
If you want to get back at somebody, tell the bail bondsman you live at his address
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Three more climbers die on Everest, one after reaching the summit but then having to wait TWELVE HOURS to get back down because of the traffic jam of people waiting to summit
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Pro-Trump hats worn by students blurred from high school yearbook, presumably to protect their chances of future employment
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local 12 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Science: Fark's Caturday is causing your butthole to hurt
source: local12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
As we prepare for Memorial Day Weekend and the start of outdoor grilling season. Fark braces for rash of 'Dumbass' 'Fail' and 'Florida' submissions
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Theme: Beans where beans should not be. (link goes to inspiration)
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Turns out having measles will get you put on the Do Not Fly list, or in other words, get you "punished" for telling the truth about vaccines
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Meatball the bulldog only has a year to live, so the man who rescued him from a shelter added a sidecar to his motorcycle so Meatball can travel in style and see the country
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump ain't gonna like it, but Harriet Tubman's gonna be on $20 bills
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Harvey Weinstein: "Here's $44 million. Can I go now?"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Incel gets 5 years incell
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
My first boyfriend came in like a minute, I loved it, and now I miss my two-pump chump
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Kinesiology major does some research
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
Guess it had cancer
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
🎵 I'm proud to be a bargie from Muskogee, a place where even dams can have some fun. 🎵
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
No worries, $45 million will buy fantastic at-home nursing care, surrounded by three around-the-clock armed female guards
source: amp.azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Ten travel scams that you need to know about before going on your next vacation. Assuming, you know, you're a complete farking moron who never leaves the house. If you're not one of those, there's really no reason to click this link. Just carry on
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 23, 2019
(The Drive)
 
 
 
A submarine that was once the pride of the U.S. fleet during WWII leaves its dry dock for one last float thanks to flooding in Oklahoma. It's the goddamn Batfish
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man finds three years of car dealership's sales records, demands $50,000, new car for their return. Learns he shouldn't have asked for his wife's favorite car
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Hello I'm Doctor Genuine and I'm here to present the findings of the Totally Legit Center for Proving Opioids are Totally Awesome. Now WHO would believe that?
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Hide your kids, hide your wife. People are breaking into houses and...cleaning them
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Fire which damaged school equipment is believed suspicious, possibly because of its trench coat, sunglasses, bad accent
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"Help please... why won't my charity shop accept these pillows?" "Not sure, did you get a cocky shop assistant?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Today is Mr. Rogers Day - a beautiful day in the neighborhood
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
New Hampshire man's debut reggae album reaches #1 on Billboard.com
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida man arrested for stealing 14 gold chains from a mall kiosk. Should have stuck with 2 chains
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
Boobies
 
Man accused of illegally lifting and separating cans of Red Bull from an Acme in Southampton Twp., PA
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Didja hear the one about the trucker that had a house blown under his trailer? Now he's got a house trailer Get it? House. Trailer. That's a joke. Yooooou get it? Missing the joke? Gotta keep your eye on the ball. Eye ball. Almost a joke there
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Big Florida is watching you
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this split personality
source: nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Here's the story of how a lot of sEJOH22A try to get vanity plates in Nevada
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CityNews Toronto)
 
 
 
The article doesn't disclose the size of its nuts, or whether Megatron is being sought for questioning
source: toronto.citynews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
"Binyavanga Wainaina opened our eyes and untied our tongues." Because if you can pronounce his name, you can pronounce anything
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
102-year-old woman kills 92-year-old neighbor, will probably be sentenced to life
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Oxford police officer charged with murder. Article doesn't say if they were quarter brogues or wingtips
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
How many police does it take, and how long does it take them, to arrest a 12-year-old? Let's watch the body cams
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Did you know there's a salt mine right below the city of Detroit? And that the dude who runs it is missing over Lake Michigan--even after they found his plane?
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
More evidence of the world's highest mountain being overrun: Over 200 unskilled climbers risk their lives and queue up to reach Mount Everest summit on a clear day
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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