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Tue April 24, 2018
(Irish Central)
 
 
 
57% of the Irish who were asked if they intended to watch the Royal wedding said "go fook yerself, I'm not cuttin' into me drinkin' time watching some shiate Proddy weddin' 'tween a ponce an' his no better than she should be tart, now feck off"
source: irishcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Truckers pull together multiple semi-trucks to help shorten fall of man threatening suicide on a highway overpass
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-04-15 to Sat 2018-04-21
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Dobbe arrested for running over woman. Bad house-elf
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Hold my beer: wedding photo edition
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
YouTube has ruined the age-old artform of filming yourself doing stupid stuff, says Slate writer who apparently believes filming yourself doing stupid stuff is an age-old artform
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Nobody owns macaque selfies
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this healthiness test
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Neighbors complain about wild sex parties in 7,500-square-foot home. "400 guests were invited with 87 people (including 35 couples) sending a 'yes' RSVP"
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
It just figures that the Toronto van rampage suspect is an IT student who "didn't drive or know how a steering wheel works." Probably couldn't tie his shoes, either
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
As a general rule of thumb, you should avoid using slavery puns in your promposal. "If I was black, I'd be picking cotton, but I'm white, so I'm picking u 4 prom"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Life can be pretty funny. One day you're running for mayor of New Orleans and the next thing you know you're pleading no contest in a public masturbation case
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stranger)
 
 
 
Horton Hears a Slur
source: thestranger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Things you don't have to read: The Catcher in the Rye, The Bible, GQ
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 23, 2018
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
"Lesbos in flames" is not what you think (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio Alt 102.3 FM)
 
 
 
Ugly ass baby wombat mistaken for human offspring on Facebook and it's a fack that Australians can't swear correctly
source: alt1023fm.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lewistown Sentinel)
 
 
 
Every boy needs a dog, sometimes they just need a dog that will help them know when their blood sugar is out of control
source: lewistownsentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
"Fine," Garcia said. "Tase me, and you'll see what happens"
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
Prepare to meet your new six billion strong Chinese cockroach overlords that will be used for your medicinal use ...unless they think otherwise
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
George H.W. Bush admitted to intensive care because he has ghosts in his blood. He should do cocaine about that
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this relaxing moment
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight on Paul's Memory Bank, two hours of One-Hit Wonders, some of them even made #1. Show starts at 8PM EDT
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(41 Action News)
 
 
 
Genius thieves robbing Genius Bar escaped with dozens of useless floor models, but captured in stunning 4K imagery by every single person in the store
source: kshb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Panic ensues in Winnipeg when prank nuclear warning is broadcast, which totally makes sense because if there's one place where the world's nuclear missiles are trained, it's Winnipeg
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asbury Park Press)
 
 
 
NJ state trooper indicted for quoting Carly Rae Jespen lyrics to women he pulled over
source: app.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Prenatal cannabis use associated with low birth weights, but the bigger question is how do they light it?
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Worst Korea suspends blasting K-pop across DMZ ahead of nuclear talks, although fears remain that they could restart their weaponized K-pop reactors at a moment's notice
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Officials aren't quite sure how this drunk woman got stuck in this position but they are sure she had a Fark handle which they have refused to release
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this angry monk
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Alaska Dispatch News)
 
 
 
Yo dawg, I heard you like getting high, so we put a pot shop in your aviation and mountaineering museum
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Shut it down, we've achieved Peak Florida
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Sure there is a woman pinned under it but how is my truck? Except he didn't mention the woman
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsChannel 5 Nashville)
 
NewsFlash
 
Naked Waffle House gunman is in custody, pants
source: newschannel5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The News & Observer (NC))
 
 
 
Florida leads the US in states where you're least likely to see a UFO, possibly because aliens can just blend in with all the other general weirdness down there
source: newsobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Van strikes multiple pedestrians in Toronto. UPDATE: 9 dead, 16 injured
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Alabama police create viral mashup combining popular current news stories: arresting black customers without cause and being stripped naked at Waffle House
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Man arrested after fatally shooting daughter's boyfriend, stealing Hulk Hogan's facial hair
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is someone else's
source: mobile.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
Video
 
YouTube comedian who trained pug to give Nazi salute convicted of hate speech
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
If you're tripping on LSD, don't start randomly punching things that might attack you. One of them might be a 13-year-old girl, and you might end up in jail for aggravated assault. The more you know
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Confirmed: Uranus Smells Like Farts
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Sarkysan out as PM of Armenia, will go back to judging Chopped
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
"What is a 72-year-old little old lady going to do to anyone." Sell them a lot of drugs, apparently
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Mac n' Cheese restaurant creates innovative system to stop sexual harassment, which turns out to be even more effective at blocking unwanted sexual advances than a diet of Mac n' Cheese
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
City councilman arrested for DUI after driving on the wrong side of the road seems pretty happy
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Oh, Florida, don't ever change: "A Miami pimp's reaction to a Santa's Enchanted Forest employee not paying for sex with a 16-year-old led cops to him and a prison sentence for sex trafficking"
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
John Wilkes Booth: actor, assassin, sex maniac
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Search continues for Waffle House shooter, as authorities have no idea where he is but suspect he's not wearing pants
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Alaska Dispatch News)
 
 
 
Just FYI, Alaska's running out of ice
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
More than 60 grams of meth found during prison cell search in the most Oklahoma story you'll read today
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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