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Wed January 23, 2019
(CBC)
 
 
 
Today's most Canadian story ever comes with an even more Canadian correction, as a Nova Scotia windstorm blows an ice-resurfacing machine (NOT a zamboni, you philistines) into a ditch
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTXL Tallahassee)
 
 
 
Police arrest man for trafficking drugs, partying too early ahead of St. Patrick's day
source: wtxl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Superintendent in trouble with authorities for "mothering" a 15-year-old male student a little too much
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Introducing a new old Fark tag
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guys)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pack of rats
source: cdn.abcotvs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Welcome to beautiful Washington, DC. Be sure to check out the sights like the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial, the random dead body in the street, the Jefferson Memorial
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Caucasian man pleads guilty in sword-wielding murder of black man in New York City. Scottish dude in raincoat caught fleeing the scene
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"During Wednesday morning's press conference, one reporter raised eyebrows by asking if women had also been DNA tested on suspicion of being the baby's mother"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
First email: Congratulations, you've been accepted to our university. Follow up email: oops, never mind
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Cripple Creek police investigating theft of ruby slippers
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
1919: rancher uses .30-30 Winchester to keep wolves away from his cows. 2019: rancher uses inflatable green used-car-lot dancing man to keep wolves away from his cows
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Place)
 
 
 
Photoshop this airy area
source: uploads5.wikiart.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Venezuela severs diplomatic relations with the U.S., orders all American diplomats to leave the country within 72 hours
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Opposition Leader Declares Himself Venezuela's President in Challenge to Maduro
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
100 years ago, the men of the Metropolitan Police Department walked their beats in fear of their worst enemy: women trained in the art of suffrajitsu
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Hedgehogs, chinchillas, and hermit crabs can now be kept as pets in Virginia county. Chickens, ducks, and geese will transition from pets to tasty at two months
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Mysterious ancient mask found on Florida shore could lead to discovery of $4 billion lost treasure, priceless knowledge of pre-Colombian civilization, involuntary police rendition of "Cuban Pete." S-s-s-s-smokin'
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Classic FM)
 
 
 
Train passengers horrified as drunk man pulls a knife and destroys luggage, a bicycle, two cellos, and a viola. Thankfully, he was stopped in his tracks before there was more violins
source: classicfm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Our time has come as mankind now "faces ARMAGEDDON," so says the Doomsday Clock (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
OK everybody, out of the bump stock thread and over here. Active shooter in NJ
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Ric Romero institute concludes that land costs a whole lot more in places where people want to live, and a whole lot less in places where they don't
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Laughing Squid)
 
Vintage
 
Worst TARDIS ever
source: laughingsquid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Boulder stabbing sparked by unsatisfactory pants exchange; suspect in custody
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Police have arrested the sick bastard who impregnated a comatose woman in a Phoenix nursing home
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northwest Indiana Times)
 
 
 
Brooks allegedly told police he had been using "Woo," a street name for embalming fluid, to get high
source: nwitimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
So why are the candy hearts MIA this year? Now I'll have to go back to eating just regular chalk
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Microsoft's mobile browser now warns users that The Daily Fail is not known for their journalistic integrity
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Man tackled for driving his own car while black awarded $1.25 million apology by jury
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Tree Man" back in hospital, needs more surgery, is not Groot
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
If you use surface streets to avoid tolls on I-81 in Virginia, expect a ticket in the mail
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Dashcam catches 52-car train derailing, at least until the driver nopes the vehicle around to GTFO
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Naked wedding dresses are a thing with attention-hungry brides and news sites (May be NSFW)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Girl)
 
 
 
Photoshop precocious piano prodigy
source: cdn.merriammusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Happiness is a dolphin and his dog. Or a dog and his dolphin. Or a race against an underwater Kraken. Whatever. You're just here for the wonderfulness that is Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Open a marijuana dispensary in your town and the next thing you know, people will be feeding peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to seals
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Banned 18th Century erotic fiction arouses moist interest and some stiff bidding at auction. Sploosh
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
In celebration on the Women's March, incel vows to "kill as many women as I see"
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
In the midnight hour, he cried "Horse, horse, horse"
source: amp.fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Mr. Whipple: "Please don't squeeze the prophet"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NHK World (Japan))
 
 
 
After 2011 Fukushima nuclear accident, officials opted not to disclose reports of 11-year-old girl exposed to high radiation because data wasn't trustworthy. At 19 now, she tells her dates not to make her angry, seriously, you wouldn't like it
source: www3.nhk.or.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
In a surprise to absolutely no one, article about Florida Man also contains the words "alcohol played a role"
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 4 Charleston)
 
 
 
Charleston, South Carolina finally makes a name for itself and it's spreading fast ("Sick" tag describes those who are afflicted)
source: abcnews4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
Iceland is now home to the world's first ever beer spa ....and take my sudsy money
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Four arrested for plotting terror attack targeting Muslims
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Attention Walmart shoppers -- Florida man is masturbating in the pillow aisle
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 22, 2019
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Three shot in topless bar police looking for nips, excuse me tits, sorry tips
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
**flicks open switchblade comb** I want my $775 dollars
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
At least 50% of Brits think vegans are always hungry, wasting hours planning mealtimes and being permanently 'in a mood'
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman marries partner she knows will be good in bed
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Looks like somebody at the Parks and Recreation Department accidentally switched the coyote warning signs for Redwood city and Disneyland
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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