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Fri January 18, 2019
(KWTX Waco)
 
 
 
Reset the church shooting clock
source: kwtx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Sometimes, when your ceiling-based burglary spree through four stores is doomed to failure, you drink the liquor you stole and fall asleep until the cops show up
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(St. Louis Public Radio)
 
 
 
Winner of Ironically-Named Retirement Home Contest, Friendship Village doesn't want any old lesbians around
source: news.stlpublicradio.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston 25 News)
 
 
 
Subby and Woburn Police on the lookout for Marijuana Claus, but not for same reason
source: boston25news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man killed by hit and run driver just blocks from his home. Well, if they know where the driver lives, why don't they go arrest him?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lonely Planet)
 
 
 
Virgin penetrates wet hole, hits bottom
source: lonelyplanet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
What the fark are you doing? (HONK) Get the fark out of here, you clown (HONK, HONK)
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Like a slow-motion version of Final Destination, man who escaped from the World Trade Center on 9/11 is killed in Tuesday's terrorist attack in Nairobi
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
Video
 
If you helped saved the life of a man on the NYC subway last month, the survivor would like to thank you personally
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Sixteen year old finds about 25,000 lbs of golf balls in the ocean... in one little spot near some golf courses Why do golfers hate the planet so much?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 17, 2019
(Calgary Sun)
 
 
 
11-Foot-8, meet 3.8 Meters. You two should have a lot to talk about
source: calgarysun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Brace yourselves for a winter storm to end all winter storms this weekend as up to forty inches of snow has been forecast for some areas and over half the country will freeze
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Straight-A student unintentionally paid for his school lunch with counterfeit money. He has now been suspended by his metro Atlanta school
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Finally, the real reason why Brexit isn't working: Government minister rules out Batman becoming Prime Minister
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
He wanted to take one last stab at it
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Man looking at decades in prison for swindling companies into sending him free stuff by pretending he was on the Phillies, a member of Three Days Grace, and a member of Drowning Pool. Based on his mugshot, I would believe a couple of them
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Dog food recalled because it has too much vitamin D, which is not vitamin Dog as subby thought
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Justin Trudeau secretly invades Kentucky, brings the wife and kids and a canoe in case he needs to make American beer analogies
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Jumping over the Metro turnstiles remains a crime in DC. Don't worry, you can still smoke pot with impunity
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Silly smart objects, smart toilets, and cars too smart for their own good. It's the Fark Weird News Quiz, January 6-12 Cornbread Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop the budding guitar virtuoso
source: 2.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Another casualty of the government shutdown? The marriages of furloughed government workers who by being forced to spend so much time together at home are discovering that, holy crap, we hate each other
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Louisville, Kentucky to rename airport after Muhammad Ali. Will soon be known as THE GREATEST AIRPORT OF ALL TIME
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
This CIA-issued spy tool kit was supposed to be hidden in: a) shoe, b) belt, or c) butt?
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Excuse me, do you have Prince Philip in a car crash?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Daycare operator charged after drunk child falls out of his seat. This is not a repeat from Drew's childhood
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Former dishwasher at Miami hotel, fired after missing work on Sundays for religious reasons, awarded $21 million by a jury
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
One may escape from circling police helicopter with infrared camera. But you're doomed if you cross into pasture of the Wild Stallions. Party on, Ted. Party on, Bill (air guitar)
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hold my Beer)
 
 
 
Photoshop this impending extraction
source: legendaryvideos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
The company behind Pokemon Go is somehow worth $4 billion
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Microsoft funds construction of 50 affordable housing units in Seattle
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Former ISIS fighter: "Sorry"
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Key West to ban straws... er wait, sunscreen?
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Israel defends McJesus sculpture, triggering Fox News
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If a couple guys from the Internet agree to give you rocket launchers and explosives in exchange for your car, they juuuuust might be FBI agents
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Woman drives Mercedes in reverse. While screaming. And naked. Because it's just a regular Thursday in Florida
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
"Collection #1" considered world's largest public data breach exposing 773 million e-mails, 21 million passwords. Article lets you check if you're part of this historic event
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Officers find stolen ATV, gun, meth and dead bald eagle In Southwest Missouri man's facial hair
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Doctors use beer to treat alcohol poisoning. No word yet on Drew's campaign to have the same treatment used for the common cold, the flu, or morning fatigue (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Lady goes to feed pet crocodile, succeeds
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
♬ Stumpity stump stump, stumpity stump stump, look at frosty go. Stumpity stump stump, stumpity stump stump, wham your car won't go
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Calling all Farkers. Police department looking for volunteers to help train officers in administering sobriety tests. All you have to do is drink
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Facebook says it is NOT trying to harvest old photos of members during the 10-year-challenge. And now here's some specific ads for you. VERY specific ads tailored just for you. That change your emotional state and voting preferences
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
That rescue of the Spanish boy trapped in well to take few more days as Sting can't get to a recording studio until then
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Man takes his one dollar winning scratch off ticket to lottery office, demands giant check like other winners. Fark: Lottery actually cuts him a giant check
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Asshat in SUV tries to drive through giant 9-foot snowman, learns it was built over a giant tree stump nicknamed 'Karma'
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Father of the year leaves three year old unattended in car while he runs into the store for a few things. Things being crab legs he stuffed down his pants
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Plan would clean up New York Harbor with one billion oysters, which will be contaminated by all the crap they filter, which will make New Yorkers sick from eating them, which will lead to huge sewage flow that will recontaminate the harbor
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
14 confirmed cases of measles in Clark County, Washington. Guess what they all have in common
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
"After the patient's back pain improved, he discharged himself"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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