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Wed May 22, 2019
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Teacher resigns after allegedly threatening to 'shoot up the school' says why should students have all the fun
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this floating weed
source: nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
LSD can remain potent for decades if kept in a cool, dark place. Like on that vintage musical instrument you just acquired
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
In NJ, students can earn extra credit by: a) doing extra work, b) answering bonus questions at the end of the exam, or c) slipping the teacher a twenty? Aunt Becky disqualified from answering
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Is throwing beer cans at neighbors considered littering? Asking for a friend
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Psychology Today)
 
 
 
Scientists say that tripping balls has been found to be a successful treatment for alcoholism. They discovered this by giving a survey to alcoholics who have recently tripped balls. Sounds legit
source: psychologytoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Apple CEO Tim Cook tells 2019 college graduates that his generation "failed you." Although he did thank them for making him rich for getting them all addicted to their iPhone
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Connecticut fugitive vows to surrender if 15,000 people like his wanted poster on Facebook
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Delay in Amber Alert for kidnapped Texas girl blamed on fax machine error that prevented police from notifying media outlets. A fax machine. In 2019. Fail tag just threw Followup under a Pony Express wagon over this
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
This man was making essential oils in his home. And by oils he means meth
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Instagram butt model admits that trendy 'belfie' pose is hard work. (w/ lots of pics of hard work)
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
British pubs are closing at the rate of around 18 a week. Here comes the science (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
Beta testers playing World of Warcraft Classic -- the way the game was in 2004 -- are reporting bugs. Blizzard: Those aren't bugs, that's the features of the grindy, hell to level, unpolished game you nostalgia-blinded schmucks wanted to play again
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jewish Daily Forward)
 
Boobies
 
While throwing bacon doesn't repel Moslems, stripping down to your bra will drive off Orthodox Jews
source: forward.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Monkey kills man and injures 10 others in nine-day rampage. I could never play that long, and always preferred Ralph, the giant wolf (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wenatchee World)
 
 
 
Guy shoots himself in his balls then it gets weird
source: wenatcheeworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Comcast wants to know how long it takes for you to poop, promises to pause commercials until you're back to watch them
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
Video
 
Midnight ice cream raider revealed to be the rare British trash panda (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
"Excuse me, that's DOCTOR Jon Bon Jovi"
source: radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
'Salt Lake man knows who the clown-masked men who shot him are'
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
This couple was expecting five children, but got a give birth to five, get one free deal
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gwinnett Daily Post)
 
 
 
Dude convinces chick he met on Match that he's in love after one week and to give him $80K for a house for the two
source: gwinnettdailypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Rectum? Damn near killed em
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Why is the Pentagon suddenly so interested in UFOs? It probably isn't the anal probe technology. Probably
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Photoshop these rolling colors
source: cdnph.upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Want to take your dog to the movies with you? Well you can at this Texas theater, which offers drinks and snacks for humans and dogs alike, including bottomless wine or 4 servings of whiskey. Bottoms up, Woofday Wetnose Wednesday!
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LGBTQ Nation)
 
 
 
Captain Marvel and Wonder Woman get hitched. And it's not fanfic, it's fabulous real life
source: lgbtqnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Forty years ago this week, the single deadliest air accident in U.S. history happened at O'Hare airport
source: graphics.chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Lunch Lady fired for giving out a free lunch turns out to be...shenanigans
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Firefighter whines about the food served so much that he gets suspended and sent home. Why yes, he is a vegan
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
"I kept her in a room for two years and I didn't go visit her. And when I did, I wasn't even kind." Yes, sex cult. Yes, NXIVM
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Study finds tiger sharks eat backyard birds... so keep an eye out for sharks in your backyard this Memorial Day
source: nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
Here are 27 million reasons why you shouldn't let road rage take hold of you
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Washington becomes the first US state to legalize composting human bodies. Sure, some of us were ahead of the curve, but at least the government is finally catching up
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Who's the biggest slumlord in Hartford? "Not me"
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 21, 2019
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
Woman says she usually carries bear spray and sometimes it goes off accidentally such as inside a university building
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
"She then returned and struck him in the face until he gave her $600" apparently is a crime when it does not involve a strip club or motorboating
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
♪ You bring down 16,000 tons of steel, and whaddya know? You're another day older with a cool video ♪
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"We're 14 to 7 on the third down, the Bears are making the play . . . there's the handoff, he's going wide, but here come the Eagles . . . interception"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
NYC to Sacklers: GTFO. Has anyone seen my tiny violin? It has to be around here someplace
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Motorcycist dies doing what he loved, being a dumbass
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
False rape report leads to man's death in self-defense. Confused? You won't be, after this episode of 'Florida Man'
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Photoshop this oddly affixed jewelry
source: cms.qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Astronaut school displays safer uniforms, allowing marching band students to play without spacing out from the heat
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Star (Malaysia))
 
 
 
Apparently in Japan soft-boiled eggs are more attractive to thieves than money
source: thestar.com.my   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Hey, we've all been there, you're half awake in the morning and set your gun and coffee on the car roof, but on the plus side this guy remembered to grab the coffee before driving past an elementary school
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Western Mass News)
 
Video
 
Teenager to graduate high school, Harvard within the same month. In other news, subby has managed to get out of bed and has almost put on pants. Almost
source: westernmassnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Blue collar labourer inherits £50m country estate after DNA test proves he's secret son of British Lord... You lucky bastard
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Today, in relationship advice: while arguments with your significant other may happen, one must put aside your own feelings and empathize with the other, especially if she has a recording of you sexually assaulting an unconscious woman
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
Are your allergies flaring up? It's because botanical sexism is causing your body to choke on the sperm of a million trees. Treekkake if you will
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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