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Thu April 26, 2018
(AP News)
 
 
 
That smell coming from the funeral home's garage? That ain't flowers
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Tesla Model X driver makes it to the gym in under 26 minutes
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Definitely the best beach to find free Halloween decorations, no bones about it
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Woman becomes the first in the world to remove her own breast implants. "I just got the knife and I did a tiny little incision on the original scar tissue and I couldn't feel a thing. I thought 'Oh, this doesn't hurt. Great'"
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Alaska Dispatch News)
 
 
 
Paperboy stabbed multiple times, keeps biking his route. Subby doesn't remember that difficulty setting
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 677: "Happy Little Accidents". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 25, 2018
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Naked. Moaning. Florida man. Sex toy. Bodily secretions. That's a BINGO
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
A total of four barrels containing radioactive sludge at a nuclear site were found to have ruptured, according to spokesman Simpson. SIMPSON?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Decatur Herald-Review)
 
 
 
Ain't no party like a keister-stashed drug jail party, cause the party don't stop until 4 inmates are hospitalized
source: herald-review.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Can sitting in a lawn chair be illegal? Apparently yes, when it's used as a driver's seat in your pickup truck
source: canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Today's lesson in the new new new common core math: Babies-R-Us + voodoo + evils spirits + box cutter = Florida
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Fark just leveled up!
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mud bath
source: cdn1.spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
One... two... three... four... FiF
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
"God the Father told me to kidnap your child." "Really? That's interesting, because my Mama said knock you out"
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
San Francisco PD posts before-and-after photos of its homeless camp clearing operation. Local residents applaud sudden abundance of mailboxes
source: sf.curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Miniature pony gets police escort
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rockford Register Star)
 
 
 
New Peregrine falcon family takes up residence in Rockford, gets webcam so we can all waste more work time
source: rrstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
"Dog bites Pittsburgh police horse in Wilmerding." In my day, we called that part the schwing-schwong
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Ignoring the lead paint, mold, broken elevators, leaky roofs and rats, top NYC housing official says the city's public housing is "beautiful"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Congrats, you just won lottery tickets to a sex show. A firefly sex show. The insects, not the television show
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guitar
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Surely the airlines have learned by now not to treat people badly, lest it go viral. Delta: Hold my beer while I tie this woman to her wheelchair with a dirty blanket and tell her to shut the fark up
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Oregon man admits to having sex with a horse. One look at his mugshot and you'll know of course, of course
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
You say tomato, I say tomahto. You say potato, I say hand grenade
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Package thief realizes he's on video, tries to take doorbell camera
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: If you think you can get away by using someone else's urine to cheat a drug test, make sure it is not tainted also
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Body of man found in Lake Erie 38 years ago identified, hopefully not by smell
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Look into the bedazzling eyes of the gal who stabbed a total stranger to death outside of a bar
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(570 News Kitchener)
 
 
 
Tip leads police to half of Grolsch beer stolen from near Montreal. Other half was delicious
source: 570news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Baby Boomers agree with millennials and Gen X that they kind of do suck
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
People who won't go into the water because of sharks don't know greatest hazard on beaches are its sea gulls. Bombs away
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Anzac Day. a national day of remembrance in Australia and New Zealand that commemorates all Australians and New Zealanders "who served and died in all wars, conflicts, and peacekeeping operations". Yay, let's all get shiat-faced
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ValueWalk)
 
 
 
Rare elephant bird egg discovered, promptly made into giant omelet
source: valuewalk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The online community of self-proclaimed guys who couldn't get laid in a whorehouse have anointed Toronto mass murderer Alek Minassian as "our next new saint." Can we label them terrorists and ship the lot off to Gitmo now?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
I just submitted the 10,000,000th link on Fark.com and I wasted it on a throwaway story about a pawn shop in Rochester selling stolen merchandise. Ask me anything...or don't, I'm totally embarrassed about this - The Third Man
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rochester Democrat and Chronicle)
 
 
 
Mr. Deals has the best deals in town. How does Mr. Deals bring you the greatest deals for miles around? Two words: "stolen merchandise." Also 10 million Fark submissions achievement unlocked
source: democratandchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
President Trump's female doppelganger has finally been found. Ummmm... thanks, internet
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRIC Richmond)
 
 
 
Please don't punch Publix employees if they don't answer your questions immediately while they're stocking shelves. They might be deaf
source: wric.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The Golden State Killer may have finally been caught. Thank you, Michelle McNamara
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Magazine)
 
 
 
Scientists find evidence that the Neandertals might have sailed the Mediterranean 130,000 years ago, possibly searching for a lost 'H'
source: sciencemag.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Zoloft)
 
 
 
Photoshop these insanely happy shoppers
source: radioresita.ro   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
Woofday
 
Seeing eye dog takes detour to Cool Dog Gear. It's your Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
What do you get when you mix beer and yoga? You get 'Broga' which is just what men need for better health and to find their inner zen
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
"A man who had left notes at Washington state bus stops seeking to buy underage girls' underwear showed up for a meeting with an undercover detective with a gun, machete, hatchet, tarp, duct tape and camera"
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Firefighter catches infant thrown from balcony, is immediately signed to three-year deal with Cleveland Browns
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
And now we're having a debate over a gynecologist's statue
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"'Mountains and mountains of plastic': life on Cambodia's polluted coast"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Mueller exceeded the limits of his Special Counsel authority by having the FBI investigate Paul Manafort in 2013 and 2014
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"Sorry I tased you" cake is not a lie
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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