Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Tue March 19, 2019
(Voice of San Diego)
 
 
 
So that's who's been writing all the vaccine exemptions in San Diego
source: voiceofsandiego.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Miami)
 
 
 
Old News: Felony assault. Florida Challenge: Pancake batter-y
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 18, 2019
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Doctors: Hey, remember how we told you to take a low dose aspirin every day to help prevent heart attacks? Well, um, don't actually do that because you could die. Sorry, our bad
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Seafood Guy)
 
 
 
Man arrested at the airport for smuggling 15,500 tons of shrimp. He planned to barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it, pan fry it, deep fry it, stir-fry it, make pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp and coconut shrimp. That's about it
source: undercurrentnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Your ugliness times your age times your availability divided by your desperation = swipe left or right
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Town shuts down after influx of tourists cripple roads in an effort to get a look at a bunch of allergens
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
♫ I'd catch a grenade for ya. Leave it in the middle of the road for ya ♫
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Man who helped a police officer down the road Saturday is now a wanted man by the police on Monday
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"I'll never forget my old dad... the things he'd say to me." "What did he say?" "What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tinypic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Farker who got hit by a bus and broke both his wrists. He needs a good laugh right about now
source: i66.tinypic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
"I've been doing meth ... and it feels great." Wonder what the headline left out. Oh
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
On Paul's Memory Bank tonight (8PM EDT) a 2 hour sampling of the work of Hal Blaine (1929-2019).....what's that scratching.....what's that hole in the ceiling??....a squirrel??? Drew???
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
What could possibly go wrong if your internet girlfriend asks you for money?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TaxProf)
 
 
 
At Stanford, students rely on their snowplow parents to set up play dates with people in their dorm. A strategy that rests on their parents shoving friends from the hallway into their dorm rooms
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Facebook)
 
 
 
Sterling Heights Michigan is asking for help with naming the "Golden Butthole" surely Farkers can help
source: facebook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Carjacker misquotes Steve Miller song
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Today's 'murica award goes to Jerome Kunkel for first refusing to get vaccinated because of his "Christian faith" and then suing the Northern Kentucky Health Department for banning him from school during a chicken pox outbreak
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
Police hope to sound alarm on whoever stole 70 pound bell from Olympia elementary school
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Well, I was on my way to this gay Gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled smoking some pot when I suddenly thought, "Gosh, the mob's a bit rubbish. I think I'll kill the Godfather for not letting me date his niece." Who's with me?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
'Man in hours-long standoff refuses to surrender despite being inside burning home' in what's being described as a self-correcting problem
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Utrecht shooter is aarrested
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this giant pancake
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Brexit is just a flesh wound. HAVE AT YOU
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Cool: Rains create 'superbloom' of wildflowers around California city. Not Cool: 'Disneyland' size crowds create gridlock
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
That's one way to keep the face huggers away
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"New campaign challenges online child sex predators." Phrasing. It's important, people
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Brah, they did you a favor. Now you can find a quality gym that doesn't sabotage people with pizza and tootsie rolls
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
Boobies
 
Since I know you'll not be reading this after I put what the article is really about, I hope you all have a fantastic day. Now it seems there was a massive brawl of women in bikinis
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
In light of ailing economy, Iranian president Rouhani urges all Iranians to put curses on the United States, possibly in the hopes of drumming up business for clerics and paladins who are high enough level to cast Remove Curse
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Police say there's nothing at all suspicious about former Ferguson protesters turning up shot, burned, hanged, or finding snakes in their cars, as statistically that stuff just happens
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
I'm sure it pairs wonderfully with one of those t-shirts where a wolf is howling at the moon
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
New Jersey man has late fees waived after he returns library book 53 years late. No word on what the book's title was, but we can assume it's not 'How to return library books on time'
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Please tell me that's not really a tattoo in this mugshot
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charleston Post and Courier)
 
 
 
One South Carolina sheriff was so corrupt that he managed to spend more than ten thousand dollars one year at a single Golden Corral, with tabs averaging $175
source: postandcourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
"This soup isn't hot OR sour enough"...*BAM BAM BAM*
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
New York woman gives birth to 15-pound baby, proving that much like the Dali Lama, the soul of Andre the Giant can be reincarnated
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
US sanctions on Venezuela are hurting the most vulnerable, which at this point is pretty much everyone except Maduro
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJRH Tulsa)
 
 
 
Sanctuary
source: kjrh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
I thought misophonia was Jar Jar Binks telling me he'd call me back
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Body of Orange shooting suspect found in San Diego after manhunt, finally allowing Oompa Loompas to relax
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
If you've ever wished for a Sweeney Tood/Jack the Ripper mash-up, today is your lucky day (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Apparently the best way to scare off a moose is to throw your cat at it
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
I see your Girl Scouts selling cookies outside pot shops and raise you Girl Scouts selling cookies outside of bars. On St. Patrick's Day. In Milwaukee
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Model who blew the whistle on former Italian PM and billionaire Silvio Berlusconi's "bunga bunga" parties where he had sex with underaged prostitutes seems to have succumbed to a nasty case of radiation poisoning just as she was writing a book about it
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these playful penguins
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Man tries 'Ocean's 11' heist at Bellagio. Since you're reading this on Fark
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Archaeologists: OK Herodotus, we'll concede you actually knew what you were talking about this time, but watch your ass
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
The most Wisconsin story you'll read today
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Firefighters rescue dog with head stuck in wheel-rim. Cat still laughing at off-road cone of shame invention
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(StudyFinds)
 
 
 
Millennials say life is more stressful now than ever before...what with the slow WiFi, broken phones and zero 'Likes' on socials media. Heavens to Murgatroyd
source: studyfinds.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Load older headlines
These are only a small percentage of links submitted. Join TotalFark to see them all!

Link archives »






On Twitter




In Other Media
Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report