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Tue April 23, 2019
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The Sri Lanka bombings were in retaliation for the New Zealand mosque attacks. So I guess that's all settled then and we won't have to worry about any more of this shiat happening
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Man does a Google search for his childhood best friend, freaks the F*CK out by what turns up
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKYC Cleveland)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Cuyahoga River is a constant blaze due to pollution. New hotness: Cuyahoga River has made a remarkable comeback in the past half-century and has been named River Of The Year
source: wkyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Inside the "Ikea effect" - which says we are willing to pay more for stuff we have to put together ourselves. Here comes the science
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mom to 7 year old son: "ok, now you be a good lookout while grandma shoplifts." Boy fails, grandma gets caught, and mom comforts crying son. Just kidding, she punched him in the face for being a bad lookout
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Neigh means neigh, moo means moo, baaad means baaad and cluck does not mean fluck
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Environmentally astute man robs service station wearing recyclable shopping bag on his head ...not so astute when he pulls it off to put his loot in it
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWCH Wichita)
 
 
 
This is how it's supposed to work
source: kwch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Blowtorches can't melt oak beams
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
In this age of rampant governmental abuse of power it's good to know a court finally ruled meter maid tire chalking unconstitutional
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Motorcyclists really should wear helmets because who knows when buzzards will go for fresh meat
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Elderly couple return to church after 75 years to renew their vowels. Vanna White looks good for her age
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Just so you know, two motorcycles can legally share a lane side-by-side a la Ponch and Jon, but no more than two. Three is right out
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
A Skyscraper in the Philippines had an orgasm and it was caught on film
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 22, 2019
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
OK, but next time, I run the scam and you dance
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man's homemade pipe bomb simultaneously fails to stay in yard, be a bomb
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
I got 99 problems, but a light pole ain't one of them
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Old and busted: "We don't want guest speakers we disagree with to come to our college." New hotness: "We want you to fire any faculty we disagree with"
source: dailywire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
Shoving your head in a brick is no way to get through life, dog
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Man wearing "be a good human shirt" isn't
source: fox5atlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
In your Easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it. Who was the grandest lady in the Easter parade?
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Skipping breakfast? Oh you better believe that's a myocardial infarction
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Irreplaceable piece of aviation history crashed into a California State Prison in Norco today killing the pilot. The original flying wing prototype the Northrop N9MB was lost but thankfully no one on the ground was hurt
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Amazon wants to get you drunk
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these power line workers
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight on Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT) continuing to swing through the alphabet with song titles starting with "E"
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Connecticut)
 
 
 
Restaurant closed for weekend due to laxatives on pizza. Well that was a shiatty thing to do
source: nbcconnecticut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Drinking liquids without added sugar linked to lowered sugar intake. Water is wet. Sugar is sugary
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Boeing awarded $605M for Air Force's comm. satellite. In related news, communications from Air Force bases has been lost
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Gen X gets screwed again, says "whatever" and goes back to silent contempt of Boomers and Millennials
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Britain has been coal-free for four days and has managed to survive just fine
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Another nut with a gun, in a church on Easter. This one involved a shipmate of subby's son as one of the heroes
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
There are 61.24 million married couples in the U.S. and Ashley Madison now has 60 million users. I submitted this from my hotel room after your wife left
source: thisisinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The old saying 'know your audience' is never more true than when exposing oneself
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: Choose any U.S. state flag and make it look better. This shouldn't be hard
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Jersey Courier-Post)
 
 
 
The problem with using dating sites to meet potential victims is that police can find you on those dating sites
source: courierpostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Moist's story is all wet
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(G'day, Bruce)
 
 
 
The heaviest drinkers in Australia consume more than half the alcohol in the country, despite the heaviest drinkers in Australia making up only 53% of the population
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
特斯拉在一個餅乾上爆炸聖潔的廢話
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Among the 290 people killed in the Easter Sunday attacks in Sri Lanka, were 3 of the 4 children of Anders Holch Povlsen, a billionaire who is Denmark's richest man. The bombers may end up hoping it's the authorities that catch them first
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Baby emerges true victorious champion of violent domestic ax battle between four. Do not mess with baby
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
That classic ice cream truck song? Well, it's super racist
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
Researcher to teen: You know you are vaping nicotine? Teen: No way. Researcher: Way.
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
You think YOU have a tough job? Try being Notre Dame's insurance adjuster
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Crowley)
 
 
 
Psssst...wanna buy a cursed house on the shores of Loch Ness?
source: cultofweird.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
The so-called 'ringleader' of a hate crime that killed a black man in Jasper, Texas in 1998, by tying him to a truck and dragging him over 3 miles, causing his death, is scheduled to be executed
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TownNews)
 
 
 
Caption this TV repairman
 
(WBUR Boston)
 
 
 
If you gave every American a blank map of the United States featuring only state and county lines but no other markers, the majority could not place a dot on it within 50 miles of their own home's location
source: wbur.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
Bad: Teacher accused of molesting student. Worse: Teacher is HIV positive. Fark: Teacher hires a hitman to kill the student and his family
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
FDA approves first generic naloxone nasal spray, which will be "The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, aching, coughing, stuffy- head, fever, shallow breathing, confusion, lessened alertness, and loss of consciousness so you can live medicine"
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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