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Thu April 18, 2019
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Confirmed: Commodore committed commode contravention
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCBY Coos Bay)
 
 
 
No
source: kcby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
If extraterrestrial life visited NYC, would anyone even notice?
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
Oh hail no
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJRT)
 
 
 
The Michigan Department of Environmental Quality announced a $77.7 million loan to the city. Interest will be zero percent and 100 percent of the principal will be forgiven, effectively making it a grant. About. FARKING. Time
source: abc12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wales Online)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're translating the words "Alcohol Free" make sure you translate them in the correct order
source: walesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 728: "To a 'T'". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 17, 2019
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
The Sheriff said, "Often, the only way can we can identify a residence that is making meth is when they blow themselves up"
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"I took that bat and hit him upside the head like 'pi-yah!' He said 'Ow!'"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTNV Las Vegas)
 
 
 
Las Vegas is #1 in something that absolutely nobody is surprised about. It may be the desert, but make sure you wear a raincoat when you go out
source: ktnv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hutchinson News)
 
 
 
Kids, ages ranging from 8 to 11, accused of making Pretty Prairie a little less pretty
source: hutchnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Maybe now they can afford a file folder
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
One of the divers who rescued the boys trapped in a Thailand cave is, say it with me kids, trapped in a cave
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Step 1: insert coal. Step 2: make diamonds. Step 3: trade for drugs
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
U.S. government continues its winless streak in court cases involving Guantanamo "military tribunals," otherwise referred to as sovereign citizen authoritarian play-acting
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DW)
 
 
 
Would you like your antibiotic superbug extra crispy or spicy?
source: dw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Israeli stewardess in coma after contracting measles. She was only vaccinated with one dose instead of two, possibly to reduce the risk of autism
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Deadly duck-eating piranhas found in Yorkshire, England lake. Authorities say humans could be next, especially if they're dressed in a l'orange sauce (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Wanabe Houdini's skeletal remains found chained to a tree two years after he disappeared. Geoff Peterson is wanted for questioning (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: What I learned at the petting zoo
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Moops. MOOPS
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this snow thrower
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
That's one hot religious cock
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
When you clean out your attic, you find 10 years' worth of old National Geographics. When this British woman cleaned out her attic, she found a locked wooden box which held a ring containing Charlotte Brontë's hair
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Face it, women may hide their infidelity better than cheating men because of their faces
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
National Parks are free on 4/20, and I'm sure everyone will adhere to the rules on not bringing drugs into the parks and just enjoy nature
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Sixty health professionals - doctors, nurses, pharmacists - in five states charged with fraud for exchanging opioid prescriptions for drugs and/or sex. At least it wasn't a lot of pills; "just one for every man, woman and child" in those states
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
It's fun to expose yourself at the Y-M-C-A
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
MTA figures out how to save $500M on 2nd Ave Subway by using 1970s tunnel. The challenge now: devise a drilling method that gets through piles of compacted cocaine, 8-track tapes and smoking jackets
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)
 
 
 
If you're going to turn yourself into police, get rid of the meth first
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Like tall ships? Like tall ships in water so polluted an atheist could walk on it? Like having your faux historic photos of tall ships ruined by a large rubber duck? Then come on over to lake Erie for the Tall Ships festival this summer
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
TSA's nude body scanners sound the alarm if anyone attempts flying while black
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these typing teens
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Congestion Pricing Is Coming to New York. New Jersey Wants Revenge." Subby watched The Sopranos thoroughly, and may leave New York if New Jersey revenge is on order
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Prosecutors say they'll release video of Kraft's services
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Pig brains 'partially revived' after death, because as we all know, the zombie pig apocalypse isn't just gonna start itself
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Montana road blocked after dark by branch-dragging beaver. Deputy jokes the beaver was "on the night shift"
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Florida Woman who made "credible" threats toward Denver schools found dead by suicide at base of Mt. Evans
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Famed bakery chain stops selling "Fentanyl Cake" amid backlash
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
The first Falcon Heavy booster crashed into the sea. The second Falcon Heavy booster landed on the ship, toppled over, and then fell into the sea. Someday, Son, this will all be yours
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISTV)
 
 
 
Finally, South Carolina ranks near the top in something
source: wistv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Paleontologists outraged after finding 68-million year old, rare, and most likely, only baby T-rex fossil in the world. On e-Bay
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Vox banned. Slate editors look around nervously
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
France will hold a contest to redesign Notre Dame's spire
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Your Notre Dame burned down? Don't worry, China has another one
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this chimp with a baby bottle
source: cdn.trendhunterstatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Peru's ex-president pulls a President Clark from Babylon 5
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
The secret to a good marriage: Hire an ugly nanny. [Arnold Schwarzenegger: "it won't work"]
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Ha ha, if you eat a pack of bacon a week you will probably die from bowel cancer. That and be pretty fat dying
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Dispatch)
 
 
 
🎵 Tornado time, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here 🎵
source: cdispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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