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Wed July 08, 2020
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Usually, a door does not become part of the flight control surfaces on a light aircraft. Usually. Skip to 3:45 for the pucker factor nine action
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Tue July 07, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Imagine traveling thousands of miles from home to fight in one of the most important battles that your country has ever fought in, only to return home and be told by friends and family that it was a hoax. These nurses don't need to imagine
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(Inforum)
 
 
 
The first trumpet of the apocalypse has sounded...in Fargo, ND
source: inforum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
How long did it take for the Scots to act like the English on their first day back reopening the pubs after the coronavirus lockdown? Apparently not long at all
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Two US Aircraft Carriers operate in South China Sea for first time since 2014
source: navalnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
See you later
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
NJ MVC reopens for the first time in almost four months. What could .... DUCK
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Staten Island deer vasectomy program gets snipped
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Pulling a shotgun on Black joggers because you heard a loud noise is no way to go through life, Mr. Mayor
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(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
California couple charged with hate crime for defacing Black Lives Matter mural
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Australian government: Melbourne will go into Stage 3 lockdown. Also Australian government: "There is no 'bonk ban'" (Translation: booty calls are still ok)
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Robots may be used to save grocery store salad bars, search for Sarah Connor
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Afghanistan's president says "Taliban violence poses 'serious problems' to peace," possibly in the same way that swallowing an entire drum of Crisco poses problems to weight loss
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
UT Austin, which is currently planning to have students in dorms and in F2F classes, and which has no real plan for what to do about bathrooms other than have custodial staff clean them a lot....just had its first death from COVID. A custodian
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(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sharp dressed man
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(Calgary Sun)
 
 
 
Calgary doctor gives CPR to man who had heart attack, a few days later gives same man a quintuple bypass. Expected to mow the lawn and take the garbage to the curb every Wednesday from now on
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(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Groping a schoolgirl isn't that much fun when her mom kicks your ass then hands you over to the cops. As a medical researcher, you must know that, right?
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(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
First we ran out of toilet paper and cleaning supplies, now we're running out of coins. "Coins" has to be some sort of euphemism, right?
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Apparently Mr. Potatohead is a cousin of Squidword Tentacles
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
I've got COVID. Film at eleven
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Moderna throws down with U.S. scientists over COVID-19 vaccine trials, asks where are the contenders in such an 'advanced' country
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(CBC)
 
 
 
Next up: American protester gets beaten with a bald eagle, French protester gets smacked with a baguette, and Italian protester gets whacked with a can of tomatoes
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(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Yes, Sweden is the cautionary tale here. Definitely it's Sweden. Yup. The world is learning from Sweden
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Which is more racist? A: Confederate statues? B: White Nationalists? or C: Los Angeles freeways?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Story keyword checklist: Black man☑ , restaurant☑ , MAGA☑ , social distancing☑ , gun☑ , Trump 2020☑, bike lock☑
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
Cops put innocent NYC woman on 'WANTED' poster, also found a scared, unfriendly cat with no collar
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(AP News)
 
 
 
Sometimes life resembles art. In this case, the art would be an Eli Roth film
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
When you hear "getting stabbed during lunch", you normally think of prison, not a Chrysler factory
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Denver cop fired for using whiteout to cover up crash during unauthorized chase, and by "using whiteout," we mean using actual whiteout to conceal the damage to his police cruiser
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(Gothamist)
 
 
 
NYPD blames their inability to no longer choke people to death as to why they are now powerless to stop crimes
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Brooklyn man gets indicted for trying to smuggle hundreds of Egyptian artifacts, some nearly 4,000 years old, stuffed inside dirty suitcases through JFK Airport. Subby says amateur, a drug mule could have done better without the suitcase
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(ABC News)
 
 
 
If you work at Los Alamos National Laboratory and you noticed you were glowing a bit more than normal last month, your bosses would like to have a word with you
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MPR News)
 
 
 
MN recommends keeping both hands on the steering wheel and holding perfectly still if you want to survive a traffic stop. It's up to you whether to keep your license and insurance clenched in your teeth or stapled to your forehead
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(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ginormous grid
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(MSN)
 
 
 
We have now passed the point where contact tracing for Covid in portions of the U.S. is even possible. Enjoy your summer
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Covid Corey spent eight days in quarantine so Fark you he hopes you get Covid and die if you have a problem with him partying maskless. Later apologizes by saying that video was directed at a friend and shouldn't have been posted to social media - ie is sorry he got caught
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The fact that we are all drinking more beer means something to science
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"New Mexico Leaders To Militia: If You Want To Help Community, Stop Showing Up Armed". Unclear why New Mexico leaders think militias want to help community
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(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
If you lost your head in St. Petersburg this morning, the police have it
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
2pm Eastern - it's the Fark News Summary Livestream. We're going with a geek tab themed show today, including stories on black holes, hand jobs, and big-boned ancestors. Your mom joke goes here. Warmup at 1:50pm
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(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Cough on a child at Yogurtland? That's a firing
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Kentucky Man tells Florida Man to hold his beer
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Driving Whilst Black, UK edition
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
Aha They are calling it an assassination attempt on the... Wait, the Prime Minister of Canada? Ok 2020, you're drunk. Go home
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(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Today's explosion in Iran has been brought to you by 'human error'
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Tick-borne disease with Covid-like symptoms spreading in Michigan. We're running out of spaces on the 2020 apocalypse bingo card
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
The tough guy who just had to punch a 12-year-old for daring to have a good time has been caught. His sentence will be 10 years of tap lessons in SuperMax
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(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Woman gives birth on pontoon boat on Fourth of July. Tag says it all
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
Prison officials want to ensure that Ghislaine Maxwell's murder is not as suspicious as Epstein's, according to a note from his mother
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Brazil President Jair Bolsonaro: Well... this is awkward
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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