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(YouTube)   F*ck me in the *ss because I love Jesus. Not safe for work language   (youtube.com) divider line 73
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5844 clicks; posted to Video » on 16 Jan 2013 at 2:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Fuck Me In The Ass Because I Love Jesus
Polished version (not the live version): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF_R_j0OY LYRICS and notes below: Note: this is a mirror of a video (information to the artists found below) If you enjoyed this song (which isn't mine), then check out (and/or donate to) Garfunkel and Oates' other work (like 'this party just took a turn for douche' and the duck sex song): http://www.youtube.com/user/rikilind Lyrics as posted on reddit, at this link: http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/16oojq/fuck_me_in_the_ass_because_i_love_jesus/ ...to live by God's rule So whatever people tell me that the Bible tells me, I will do Walk the halls of my school with my purity ring Unlike those other girls, I've got my morals in check It was easy to do till I got a boyfriend And pardon my French, but he's cute as heck And I made a pact To keep my hymen intact And Jesus and I are tight Never learned about the birds and bees I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my knees Because the Bible says premarital sex is wrong But Jason says that guys can't wait that long And I don't want to lose him To someone who'll do him I need to figure something out Well, there's a loophole in the scripture that works really well So I can get him off without going to hell It's my hail Mary full of grace In Jesus' name, we go to fifth base Oh, thank you for making me holy And thank you for giving me holes to choose from And since I'm not a godless whore He'll have to come in the back door Therefore Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus The good lord would want it that way It's the sweet sensation of a throbbing rationalization It's just between you and me Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see It's hard to be as pure as me To resist the urge to lose my vaginal virginity To wait until my marriage bed To give my husband my unsullied maidenhead So take your cock out Shove it in my ass Fuck me until you come Oops! I mean let's join our souls And unite our bodies And fly with the wings of God Whatever you do, don't touch my clitoris If you ring Satan's doorbell, God can't ignore this And no prophylactics when you put it in Because birth control's for sluts, and it's a sin I've emptied my bowels And laid out the towels I'm ready for romance I'm praying to the power that's the highest But of all of my holes, this one's the driest And we can't procreate if we anally copulate And God's OK with sodomy, but only if you're straight And I'm staying pure no matter what So I'm OK with everything but Everything but Everything butt Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus The good lord would want it that way Give me that sweet sensation of throbbing rationalization It's just between you and me Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see I do whatever the Bible tells me to Except for the parts that I choose to ignore Because they're unrealistic and inconvenient But the rest, I live by for sure So let's not talk about how the good book Bans shellfish, polyester and divorce And how it condones slavery and killing gays Because those parts don't count of course Let's cherry pick the part about losing my cherry And ? for ambiguities and omissions And circumvent any real sacrifice And still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted positions And don't you dare question my convictions And don't look closely at the contradictions Just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion And have faith in its complete jurisdiction It's the only way to measure if you're good or not And when you're in a debate, just say to have faith Because when up against logic it's the only card you've got So close your eyes Take a deep breath And Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus The good lord would want it that way Give me that sweet sensation of irrational rationalization It's just between you and me Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see Yeah, my chastity belt has locks So sometimes you need to think outside the box
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