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Fri February 01, 2008, 11:00 PM
| (Some Guy) |  |
Passenger removed from airplane because someone overheard him discussing current events | (0) |
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Paul McCartney with a 1975 performance of "Blackbird" | (0) |
| (NBC 10) |  |
Blind Acupuncturist Takes 2nd Stab At License. This might not end well | (0) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
New Mexico school employees flocking to Wal-Mart because the jobs pay better | (0) |
| (WPEC News) |  |
Yeah, I stole money from 9 year old Girl Scouts. But I don't feel bad about it, because I wanted the money. So, whatever | (0) |
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If the Pats lose, Gisele Bundchen says she'll run naked through mid-town Manhattan. Go Giants | (0) |
| (KXII) |  |
How long do you think it will be before he kisses his wife again? | (0) |
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Virus that causes HPV in women is now causing oral cancer in men. Hmmm, I wonder how that could happen | (0) |
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Chris Berman goes nuts” Not safe for workL Jesus | (0) |
| (HB Expat) |  |
Good: battle of North vs South is over. Better: Peace with honor. Fark: Dude | (0) |
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Record-holding Japanese baloonist gone missing. According to the TFA, one year he flew from the Canadian province of Alberta to the American state of Montana. That's some good ballooning there, Lou | (0) |
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When Lee Trevino said "somewhere, some guy is sick of that" perhaps he meant Katherine Heigl | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Man I hope this doen't end like it did in Florence Oregon | (0) |
| (E! Online) |  |
Arrested Development Movie? Never-Nudes rejoice | (1) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Department of Children & Families spokesman arrested for hiring teenagers to make child pornography. Ironic tag will sit this one out in favor of obvious | (0) |
| (VOA) | |
Because of Janet Jackson's exposed breast, this is the half time show you're going to get at the Superbowl half-time show. Perry Como and Up With People would laughs in a sinister fashion if they weren't already dead | (0) |
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Sellers on eBay no longer able to leave negative feedback for buyers. Just like a real store | (0) |
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She's f*&%ing Matt Damon | (0) |
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Robin Williams, Sean Penn, Tobey Maguire, Mike Myers, Jennifer Hudson, Katie Holmes, Ellen DeGeneres, and Jake Gyllenhaal all ganged up on "Entertainment Tonight" | (0) |
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TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) -- A spokesman for the Department of Children & Families was arrested Friday on child pornography charges. Department of Children & Families failed to respond to repeated requests for comment | (0) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
They're not crippled, they're just being lazy | (0) |
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Sister Mary Elephant gets year in jail for abusing 2 boys in 1960s. Class, attention. Attention, class Class? SHUT UP Thank you | (0) |
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"...as a presidential candidate herself, Hillary has basically run exactly Nixon's 1968 campaign." | (1) |
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Apparently having never heard of a mop, one upscale ice cream parlor has banned toppings in case they fall on the floor and somebody slips on them | (0) |
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Actual Headline: Beware the bowl: Double dipping spreads bacteria. Its not news, it's CNN.com | (0) |
| (AgentBedhead.com) | |
And the award for the worst Bond Girl ever goes to | (0) |
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The faces of Michael Jackson's children have been revealed to the world, and as expected they look just like their father except for the blue eyes, light skin, fair hair, and noses | (3) |
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Actual headline: "Crack found in man's buttocks" | (0) |
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We're waterboarding cows, now? Mooooooooo-gurgle | (0) |
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Behold The greatest movie ever made | (0) |
| (Bloomberg) |  |
Germans reject larger role in Afghanistan war because they are Germans and don't like wars | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Co-ed hospital wards are on their way out, all because one horny alcoholic groped a frail dementia sufferer in the middle of the night | (0) |
| (Some Neocon) |  |
Photoshop this Hillary "Rob'em" Clinton bobble head doll | (0) |
| (Some TFette) | |
My grandma needs your vote Vote for Cincinnati Sound please :) | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Little known fact: Phil Simms and Eli Manning's stats in their Super Bowl years are similar; except Manning talks much less | (0) |
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Ryan Adams | (0) |
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Tard exploding game finally hits Baghdad | (0) |
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Rebels battle near Chad. Chad very upset, sees psychologist | (0) |
| (Vanity Gossip) | |
Lauren Conrad Gets Wasted at Her 22nd Birthday Party | (0) |
| (arstechnica.com) | |
The United States is facing a crisis in broadband internet connectivity. EVERYBODY PANIC | (0) |
| (The Phoenix) | |
A sociological explanation of lolcats and related phenomena. I can haz caturday? | (0) |
| (Long Beach Press Telegram) |  |
Schoolteacher diagnosed with cancer gets no love from Blue Cross, will have to make do with the Aquabats | (0) |
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A film crew has captured footage of a rare frog waving, wrestling and courting. Frog is rescued by getting it courtside seats at next Laker game | (0) |
| (The New Yorker) | |
US drafting plan to allow government access to any email or Web search | (0) |
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Surprising only the Bush Administration, US ambassador to the UN declares that Iran is stronger because of the US invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq | (1) |
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Spokesman for state child welfare agency arrested on child pornography charges. Guess which state | (0) |
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Truth or terrorism? The real story behind five years of high alerts. Or how the Bush administration obscured news events with unnecessary terror alerts | (4) |
| (Ashley) | |
Sexy Angelina Jolie Pregnant with Twins??? | (0) |
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How to tell if your computer has developed an appetite for brains | (0) |
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Man’s Best Friend; No Really | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Beatles will be beamed into to space next week | (0) |
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If a judge makes a bonehead ruling, should you be able to sue him? A six year old in Massachussetts probably thinks the answer is yes | (0) |
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Credit card company cancels 161,000 customers who were running up high bills and not paying off their balances every month. You're doing it wrong | (0) |
| (nationalenquirer) | |
Subway Jared's wife gets fat divorce settlement | (2) |
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"War on Terror" transforms into "War on Retards" with latest Iraqi suicide bombing | (0) |
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School Janitor Arrested for Improper Cleaning of Pipes | (4) |
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L.A. Councilman Dennis Zine plans to push for a measure to create a 'personal safety zone' for those targeted by the media. Submitter would like 'personal safety zone' for having to listen to Britney gossip at work | (0) |
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Guy auction's his cheating girlfriend's Harvey Birdman game on eBay for revenge | (0) |
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Looks like I picked a bad year to quit smoking | (1) |
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After over a trillion dollars in government spending since 9/11, U.S. disaster plans 'totally unacceptable'. You're doing a heck of a job Bushie | (1) |
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Lone Star convicted of stock manipulation, giving Dark Helmet the raspberry | (0) |
Fri February 01, 2008, 10:00 PM
| (tapespace.com) | |
The Fast and the Furious: Iraqi Drift ... gone wrong | (2) |
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Quitting smoking can be even more hazardous to your health | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Possibly the worst article about teens and high speed driving you'll ever read. Florida tag applies to the reporter | (0) |
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Two Amtrak trains stranded near Donner Pass. There are 400 passengers, so they are not expected to run out of food | (7) |
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The Beatles song "Across the Universe" will be blasted directly into deep space. "Help" may have been the better choice | (0) |
| (Not death) |  |
The horror... the horror... any changes for your particular horror this year? | (3) |
| (gaming today) | |
Uwe Boll blames gamers (again) for his most recent cinematic failure | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
"The online geeks that constitute so much of Ron Paul's advocacy camp aren't the type to go out to the larger world outside their den and win hearts and minds" | (0) |
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Microsoft now the last, best hope for Darth Google's destruction. Well, if Ann Coulter can endorse Hillary | (0) |
| (Mother Jones) | |
Barack Obama requested protection from the Secret Service months before candidates usually do out of fear that Bill and Hillary Clinton would have him killed | (0) |
| (Some Spice Guy) | |
Tell me what you want, what you really, really want. Apparently, not the Spice Girls | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Baby jesus baby jesus baby jesus BRADY is JESUS baby jesus baby jesus baby jesus | (0) |
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"I plan to make the politics of personal destruction a central theme in my campaign." is the perfect comment from a candidate who's just been arrested for soliciting a prostitute | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Hurley spills some beans about last night's "Lost" | (0) |
| (TMZ) | |
Seconds after finding out her father has taken control of her medical care and estate, Britney Spears flips out, big time. Jeffery Goines mumbles something about madness oozing out over the phone line. Army of the 12 Monkeys put on high alert | (4) |
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A sewage spill in Marin County gives everyone another reason to not go swimming in SF Bay, aside from all the flaming homosexuals | (0) |
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From the "Seriously, someone thought this would be a good idea" department, British chain store pulls "Lolita" brand kids' beds from market | (1) |
| (Jay) |  |
Big breasted curly haired babe strips out of her sexy red bikini | (0) |
| (Girls of Nature) | |
Drapes match the carpet with the bonus of flowers (Not safe for work) | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Kirstie Alley demands US Weekly fire its fashion reporter for "narrow-minded" Scientology comment. Back to the fat jokes, then | (3) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Naked babe in a garage. Vroom vroom. (Not safe for work) | (0) |
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Lost gem of the 90s: "Waiting" - The Rentals | (3) |
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Heathrow Airport unveils biometric scans for passengers who want to enter the international lounge | (0) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
What's The Best Kids Bunkbed? | (4) |
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UK rewards for whistleblowers may be borrowed from US, where Washington & Wall Street corruption is thing of the past | (0) |
| (Them) | |
King Diamond is nominated for a Grammy this year | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
George Clooney named U.N. Messenger of Peace. Did these people even WATCH Batman & Robin? | (0) |
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Feeling unloved by the press, Pam Anderson to strip at the Crazy Horse in Paris. Common sense unavailable for comment | (0) |
| (Buffalo News) |  |
Keeping Canadians Out of the US, 1 Old Building at a Time | (0) |
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Man Bites Dog; elderly nun sentenced to year in jail for sexually abusing schoolboys. Be glad there's no photo | (0) |
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♫ Oh Mandy, you came and you gave without taking, so I sent you away and got botox and a facelift, Oh Mandy ♫ | (1) |
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Napping may help students pass exams. Napping during exams still not recommended | (0) |
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Britney's latest manic motorcade cost taxpayers $25,000-the same amount as Heath Ledger's casket | (0) |
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Only 3000 people are eligible to vote in Montana's Republican caucus because they have limited it to elected officials and precinct captains. Ron Paul | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Girls basketball coach asked to step down after allowing her players to watch the R-rated film Old School. Frank "The Tank" Ricard unavailable for comment | (5) |
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Legal loophole lets guy gets away with impersonating a groin-ecologist in order to molest women (numb-numb-numb-numb) | (0) |
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While binge drinking, eating greasy pizza and screaming at a TV, remember not to double-dip the salsa | (0) |
| (Infinite Regress) | |
What Hurley on Lost and Samuel Johnson have in common | (2) |
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I lied to myself that it was over. I was still alive. My loved ones were still dead. It wasn't over | (3) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Will Lindsay Lohan's new boyfriend bring her to Maine? "I told her we have good lobster," he said. "You never know." Maybe she'll bring the crabs | (1) |
| (Some Ned) | |
Reasons to Love Groundhog Day (the movie not the holiday) | (1) |
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Fark Matt Damon | (0) |
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How to control your drinking. Step 1: Go to the UK, where you can't afford beer | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Man who had three previous DUI charges drives drunk and gets in a crash that kills his mother | (3) |
| (WSMV) | |
Actual Headline: Blind Acupuncturist Takes 2nd Stab At License | (1) |
| (wsav.com) | |
South Carolina legislator proposes lowering drinking age for military | (1) |
| (The Flat Hat) | |
What did you learn in school today? "I drink not out of any intrinsic hankering for intoxication, but to maintain a kind of catch-all excuse for aberrant behavior" | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Jenya. Oh ya. (Not safe for work) | (1) |
| (The Nation) | |
The Nation, in a rare move, endorses Obama. In unrelated news, five more cracks appear in Hillary's robotic facade | (2) |
| (Springfield News-Leader) |  |
If, sometime in your past, you committed a hainous crime, just rememeber that DNA testing results chances go way past the brazillions | (1) |
| (Sheboygan Press) | |
400 chicks killed in fire. 400 dudes very sad | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Some girls get naked in the dirtiest of places. Not safe for work | (0) |
| (Some Prize Winner) | |
Iraqi suicide bombers were religious women | (1) |
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Not really news any more: teacher sentenced for having sex with students. Fark.com: she's a 79-year-old nun | (0) |
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LA Times to endorse Obama. Obama to Hillary: "See you next Tuesday" | (1) |
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"They were perfect ... until one shocking loss redefined their legacies" | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Screw A Perfect Circle. Here's Neil Young playing John Lennon's "Imagine" | (0) |
| (sum cats) | |
Im in ur biblz lrnin ur relijins (and just in time for Caturday) | (0) |
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Police officers armed with submachine guns and bomb-sniffing dogs will soon begin daily patrols of the NYC subway. Stay tuned to read about some dumbass who will try to find out what could possibly go wrong | (1) |
Fri February 01, 2008, 09:00 PM
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Yep, this is definitely the kind of apartment I'll have if I ever move out of my parents' basement | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
"We've already got the perfect religion, so no, you can't change." | (0) |
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Science Reporter Romero: Climate-change realities could ruin water planning | (0) |
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"Once upon a time the Democratic party had a left wing. This led to electoral disaster and a Republican golden age and ended when Bill Clinton pulled the party back to the centre of the spectrum, where it is today" | (14) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Snoop Dogg torn on who to endorse. On the one hand, Hillary has a fo' real badonkadonk. But Obama is a brother who can slam dizzunk with the rock | (7) |
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Man, some suicide bombers are just retarded | (0) |
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Unable to find an open Farmer's Market, this resourceful old guy drove up and over a car hauler. (With pic and video.) | (0) |
| (WKYC) | |
You're the police department and a 120 pound woman calls for help because she's been assaulted. Do you, C: haul her to jail and have 7 officers of mixed gender video tape themselves strip searching her while she screams | (3) |
| (mlive.com) | |
Get a Free Beer and Hot Wings logo tattooed on you, meet Kid Rock | (0) |
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God threatens to spoil New Zealand rugby match, apparently was a Wales fan | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Whip it out in the voting booth | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Old & busted: Plain brown wrapper. New hotness: Incognito glasses | (0) |
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Affirmative Action, Middle-East style: Two down's syndrome women forced to blow themselves up in Iraq, killing 73. Sad tag reported as a casualty | (0) |
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Beer, Benadryl and Ambien just don't mix. Well, not more than once | (0) |
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Jim Leyritz' DUI victim had BAC level twice the legal limit. Okay, then. Our bad | (2) |
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Bumpersticker: Monica Lewinsky's ex-boyfriend's wife for president | (1) |
| (Some Virile Guy) | |
Only place the Dollar still rises is in Nigeria, and at 80 he's expecting a baby | (0) |
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Students face expulsion after food fight | (0) |
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Hedgehog removal begins in Britain, even as animal rights groups call authorities a bunch of pricks for doing it (w/ pic of typical hedgy) | (3) |
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Japanese balloonist goes missing in bid to break world record for crossing Pacific. Search and rescue teams told to look for a nip in the air | (0) |
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One million Evenflo carseats recalled. Olivia Vedder unavailable for comment | (0) |
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Iraqi militants are now using the mentally retarded as suicide bombers. Wait a sec, apparently that's not a politically correct term -- let's call them "uninformed ignition catalysts" instead | (0) |
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Exxon Mobil achieves record $40bn profit despite hazy future. "They just can't grow production," argues exec, so they'll take your money now, thank you | (0) |
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AFA crows that their gay rights based boycott of Ford worked. In reality, Ford screwed themselves | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Nicolas Cage says he's tired of acting and says his career has caused him to be antisocial. Well buddy, don't let the door hit ya on the way out | (0) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Blonde Jana is gorgeous, and will cut your f**king head off (not safe for work) | (0) |
| (Larry Ett) | |
She looks a bit tied up at the moment....... (Not safe for work) | (0) |
| (Some Gameshow) | |
Is France a country? Country music star Kelly Pickler proves that the carpet matches the curtains | (6) |
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Judge rules Britney Spears can no longer handle her finances, declining relevance | (0) |
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Spice Hags cut tour short, citing 'personal and family commitments, exhaustive vapid suckiness' | (0) |
| (Statesman) | |
7-year-old dead after being hung on a hook by his shirt collar at "Not Your Ordinary School" in Austin, Texas | (1) |
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Blind, 92-year-old golfer was told that he scored a hole-in-one | (0) |
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Big Brother's listening, even if cell phone is powered off | (1) |
| (Springfield News-Leader) | |
It takes a Clever coach to break the rules and get away with it, but a Kindhart on your side never hurts | (0) |
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7-year-old found hanging by his shirt collar, in cardiac arrest, on a hook at the "Not Your Ordinary School" | (0) |
| (My Fox Los Angeles) | |
George Bluth Senior talks about Arrested Development movie then claims to be his twin brother and plugs ImOscar.com | (0) |
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Wilber Varela, Colombia's most-wanted drug lord and head of El Norte del Valle, is killed in Venezuela. So this means the drug war is over? | (1) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Faithful old biatch sacrifices herself to save man from cougar | (2) |
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Britney Spears Dad says enough of this BS and takes charge | (1) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Jodoh?apa itu? | (0) |
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CNN: Double dipping spreads bacteria, still no cure for cancer. It must be "let's take a tired TV show premise and make it a legitimate *news* article week". Stupid tag goes to all news outlets who managed to do so | (0) |
| (Some geek) | |
This guy knows Fark | (1) |
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A 55 Dollar Bottle of Water | (1) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Tazing Chewbacca | (3) |
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Trying to counter Obama's Ted and Caroline endorsements, Hillary puts out ad featuring one of the crap Kennedys | (2) |
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Exxon Mobile and Chevron Post Record Profits. George Bush: "Mi$$ion Accompli$hed. We can not leave Iraq." | (0) |
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Actual Headline: "Police: Crack Found in Man's Buttocks" | (20) |
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Lily Allen is not smiling as she is dumped by her boyfriend two weeks after her miscarriage. Dumbass tag is for the boyfriend | (4) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop these rugby players | (0) |
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AC/DC's Thunderstruck – starring U.S. Army attack helicopters. This'll drive the lefties nuts | (14) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Carnivale starts this weekend. Now here's something. SFW | (0) |
| (Springfield New-Leader) | |
It's all funny to climb a cell tower, until gravity exerts its dominance. Repeatedly, in case you didn't get the point the first time | (0) |
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Operation eliminate ceiling cat has begun | (0) |
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Aruban prosecutor still looking for the real killers | (0) |