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[Geek] You can now own a DVD player that will censor out sex, violence, and swearing from your movies. Still no cure for the suck (dailymail.co.uk)
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[Main] President Obama settles up Canadian beer bet with case of Yuengling. Furious Sam Adams storms off to join Boston Tea Party (nbcphiladelphia.com)
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[Sports] As if their playing isn't lackluster enough, the Chicago White Sox even have lame controversies. Ozzie Guillen asked his son to resign his scouting position over inappropriate Twitter comments. He gone (usatoday.com)
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[Main] Actual headline--'Butt in mulch starts a fire at BIA hotel'. Apparently one should keep one's ass out of a compost pile? (bangordailynews.com)
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