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Sat November 28, 2009

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		[Business] Black Friday shoppers splurge and go wild. USA USA USA (chicagotribune.com)	(15)
		[Politics] Ahnuld calls a $79,000 tax bill "a minor paperwork tracking discrepancy". It's good to be the king (sfgate.com)	(10)
(Some Meeper)		[Main] Hero: Danvers HS students want to sell "Free Meep" shirts to raise money for scholarship. Asinine: Principal still says this is "inappropriate and unacceptable" (salemnews.com)	(57)
		[Main] In the never-ending quest by the government to encourage everyone buy new stuff, comes "Cash for Appliances". Finally, subby can trade up for a new beer fridge (cbsnews.com)	(53)
		[Video] I dont care what you say, you cant do this (youtube.com)	(13)
		[Showbiz] David Hassellhoffspitalized (contactmusic.com)	(13)
		[Main] It was Mrs. Woods, in the driveway, with the golf club (tmz.com)	(131)
		[Main] Can you be blamed for sleepwalking crimes? It's not news, it's fearmongeri...er...ABC News (abcnews.go.com)	(21)
		[Sports] Florida plays Florida State, Arizona plays Arizona State, North Carolina plays North Carolina State, Oklahoma plays Oklahoma State ... hm, must be near the end of the season. Your Saturday college football discussion thread (rivals.yahoo.com)	(127)
		[Sports] In a completely unforeseen development, AI's "retirement" was about as permanent as Brett Favre's first, second, and fifth "retirements". What we talkin' 'bout? Retirement? How silly is that? (msn.foxsports.com)	(11)
		[Main] They took away radio traffic reporters' airplanes, and now they're taking away their radio too (google.com)	(57)
		[Showbiz] When animals attack celebrities, who are we rooting for? (abcnews.go.com)	(18)
		[Main] The majority of working mothers say they would prefer to work part-time. Only 21 percent of working fathers would. The War on Fatherhood continues (fe30.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com)	(56)
(Some Crazy Canuck)		[Sports] Not only does Canada have great beer, maple syrup and health care for everyone, we also have a true national college football championship. Can we get some love for the Vanier Cup? (vaniercup.ca)	(40)
		[Music] Reverend Horton Heat covering Black Sabbath? Yes, please (youtube.com)	(9)
		[Video] Sesame Street unveils new "Spill O'Reilly" character. "Buy my new book, 'A Stinky Rotten Pile of Grouchiness.'" (breitbart.tv)	(19)
(Some Guy)		[Main] The world's tallest model stands at 7 feet tall. With 'you'd hit it if you were tall enough' pics (thechive.com)	(170)
		[Geek] Scientists use rat brain to fly F-22. Still no cure for cancer (theregister.co.uk)	(48)
(The Argus)		[Main] Goth leather pagan robs bank, gives the money away, turns himself in. Ta-WTF? (theargus.co.uk)	(37)
		[Main] U.S. journalist grilled at Canada border crossing because officials demanded to know what she would say publicly about 2010 Olympics. Mmmmm......grilled journalist (cbc.ca)	(66)
		[Politics] IAEA sends strongly worded memo to Iran, U.S. hints at larger font sizes to come (telegram.com)	(57)
		[Main] Today's perfectly cromulent headline brought to you by Australia: "World leaders spruik climate deal chances" (abc.net.au)	(33)
		[Geek] New hypothesis to explain Earth's atmospheric CO2 values posits that planet's geomorphology shifted from an iceball to a mudball nearly 6,000 years ago (newscientist.com)	(20)
		[Showbiz] British press insists that singing hag Susan Boyle is America's Woman Of The Year for 2009. Note to Britain: no, she's not (express.co.uk)	(31)
		[Main] Mobile, Alabama's WPMI-TV learns the consequences of posting your breaking news tweets on an electronic billboard (w/ pic) (mediabistro.com)	(71)
		[Main] "Nude model Kathleen Neill gets off after getting naked in Met". In related news, CBS has a new opening for a headline writer in their web division (cbsnews.com)	(61)
		[Politics] Obama's accept delivery of 2009 Christmas tree. The tree came from West Virginia, so there is at least one thing born and raised in America currently in the White House (blogs.suntimes.com)	(91)
		[Main] CSI Småland has concluded that Agneta Westlund met her death by a drunken elk. You see, there are reindeer sleighs and then there are reindeer slays. Yeeeaaaaahhhh (thelocal.se)	(34)
		[Politics] Politics or sedition? Rush Limbaugh calls for military coup (examiner.com)	(238)
		[Showbiz] Mariah Carey someday hopes to lead a simple life. Until then, if that beluga caviar is a degree above or below room temperature, IT'S YOUR ASS (contactmusic.com)	(20)
(Some Guy)		[Main] Man who lived a year without money describes it as "the happiest time of my life", says he hopes he is an inspiration to other liberal arts graduates everywhere (itn.co.uk)	(147)
(Shorpy Photo Archive)		[Main] Photoshop this immobile home (shorpy.com)	(30)
		[Showbiz] When you're a star from the biggest movie franchise in history, you can get away with a lot of shiat. Well. "star" may be stretching it a bit (jam.canoe.ca)	(25)
(Some Guy)		[Business] Saab brand set to disappear after 55 years as no one wants to buy the ailing automaker (wheels.ca)	(30)
		[Sports] Former captain of English national team uses cricket bats and balls to make art that is a hell of a lot more interesting to look at than cricket will ever be (pics) (news.bbc.co.uk)	(8)
(Some Guy)		[Main] It's not the Christmas season in Britain until special hospitals are opened to treat drunken revellers. So it is now officially the Christmas season in Britain (lbc.co.uk)	(6)
		[Main] "Jesus Christ ate fish, and I hope you're not trying to claim moral superiority over him" (guardian.co.uk)	(234)
		[Sports] Britain makes case that 2018 soccer World Cup should be held in the U.K., pointing out that it may be the only time in their lives that British soccer fans get to see what the trophy looks like (guardian.co.uk)	(10)
		[Main] Sculptures made of scrap car parts all day pictures of you will see coolest (Overused Headline Scramble) (telegraph.co.uk)	(22)
		[Geek] Scientists discover how small hairy balls can be used to package enzymic fluids for transfer to the stomach without the fluids having to be tasted. Here comes the science (sciencedaily.com)	(16)
		[Sports] Tiger Woods alleged mistress Rachel Uchitel speaks: "There is NO relationship with Tiger." (sportsbybrooks.com)	(41)
		[Main] Icee the cat, found half-frozen and barely alive after being trapped in a snowstorm, is nursed back to health in time for Caturday. (tag is for the shelter staff, includes adorable pic) (usatoday.com)	(479)
(Some Guy)		[Music] Everything you have ever wanted to know about Lynyrd Skynyrd's Sweet Home Alabama and the fake feud with Neil Young (thrasherswheat.org)	(45)
		[Main] Caption the President and his party crashers (d.yimg.com)	(104)
(Some Guy)		[Geek] Meet the multi-colored rainbow spider, which produces a spectacular array of colors to attract a mate. People who get the heebie-jeebies from spiders need to stay the hell out of this one (pic) (mailonsunday.co.uk)	(32)
		[Sports] Thievery, caged garden gnomes and people wearing watermelons on their heads - all signs that in Canada, this is Grey Cup weekend (nationalpost.com)	(12)
		[Video] The cutest video of questionable home dentistry you'll see all day (liveleak.com)	(17)
		[Geek] The trippiest star trails you'll see today (antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov)	(10)
		[Main] British town starts wrapping its lightposts up in thick wool sweaters so drunken students don't hurt themselves when they walk into them (pic) (news.scotsman.com)	(34)
		[Main] Getting caged up at a Warsaw zoo is so easy a caveman can do it (news.yahoo.com)	(21)
		[Business] Scots enraged as English start making single-malt whisky, even though you can't tell the difference between it and 18-year-old Glendfiddich after you mix it with ice and Mountain Dew like the whisky snobs do (dailymail.co.uk)	(49)
		[Showbiz] Fergie did firsthand observation in order to perfect her role as a prostitute in "Nine." No word if this was past experience, or present (contactmusic.com)	(28)
		[Sports] New Jersey Nets plummet to 0-16, losing to lowly Sacramento Kings. Two non-wins away from history (sports.yahoo.com)	(10)
		[Music] George Harrison wanted to put the Wilburys on a boat and sail around giving concerts for whoever rowed out to hear them. "We could pull into a cove and play to guys in outrigger canoes" (contactmusic.com)	(11)
		[Video] Amazing dashcam footage from a San Francisco trolley exactly 100 years ago. Look at those fools aimlessly rushing here and there. Thankfully we don't have that problem in the 21st Century (liveleak.com)	(45)
(Some Guy)		[Main] Couple can't afford big wedding, gets married in line at Best Buy on Black Friday, before buying all four of their kids computers, cell phones and game systems (wfie.com)	(59)
		[Showbiz] The twenty best graphic novels of the decade, including Fables, Blankets, and Bone. Bonus: no Alan Moore (pastemagazine.com)	(79)
		[Main] Residents of Michigan town don't want it turned into Guantanamo North to make money: "We don't want the rock stars of the jihad here. I'm a Christian conservative just like Sarah Palin. We don't want terrorists here" (guardian.co.uk)	(460)
		[Main] Photoshop this swimmer with whale (inapcache.boston.com)	(40)
		[Politics] "When Glenn Beck and others talk about an antigovernment revolution, we should recall the 1898 Wilmington race riot." (csmonitor.com)	(130)
		[Main] Muslims and Christians find common ground (telegraph.co.uk)	(166)
		[Main] University says it's hiring someone to research lap dances. Job is certain to be a grind (telegraph.co.uk)	(28)
(Some Guy)		[Geek] ☼ ∞ (baszottbanda.blogspot.com)	(62)
		[Showbiz] Academics hold conference to discuss social science underlying The Wire, proving once again that some people can't enjoy the simplest things without being thrown into frenzies of analysis (guardian.co.uk)	(31)
(WSVN)		[Main] Late for your flight? No problem, just have your secretary email a bomb threat to the airport (wsvn.com)	(48)
		[Geek] "Cross a seahorse with the starship Enterprise and you get the SeaOrbiter - the world's first vertical ship, which drifts through the sea allowing man a closer view of the ocean" (timesonline.co.uk)	(37)
		[Main] Purse-snatcher tries to rob "Geek Love" author Katherine Dunn, learns the hard way that authors can also be trained street boxers (oregonlive.com)	(79)
		[Music] Come Together mashed up with Closer? The results may surprise you (with profaNINty) (youtube.com)	(27)

Fri November 27, 2009

	[Business] MSNBC now has a Department of the Obvious (msnbc.msn.com)	(18)
	[Showbiz] The classic '60s show that never was to be: William Shatner and Adam West's "Alexander the Great" (w/ pilot) (io9.com)	(31)
	[Main] Recently divorced woman sees Jesus on her iron, displaying to the world why she was recently divorced (sfgate.com)	(93)
	[Main] When running a pot farm out of your home, you should resist the urge to call the cops if someone breaks in to steal your money and weed (wcco.com)	(34)
	[Sports] Tiger Woods' wife used a golf club to knock out the rear window of the car after last night's accident. Police said she initially had a sand wedge, but then chose a 9 iron and hooded it after testing the wind (hosted.ap.org)	(81)
	[Music] Ronnie James Dio discovers dragon slaying causes cancer (news.bbc.co.uk)	(44)
	[Sports] Ana Ivanovic unveils sexy new dress for the Australian Open. Of course, if her recent form continues, she'll only get to wear it for one round (examiner.com)	(30)
	[Main] 10 beers so weird even Drew wouldn't drink them. Yeah, they're THAT weird (mirror.co.uk)	(269)
(Some ???)	[Main] Photoshop this... umm, whatever this is... at the AMAs (holymoly.com)	(40)
(Some Guy)	[Showbiz] Batman's back, and he's baaaad (comicbookmovie.com)	(65)
	[Showbiz] Someone somewhere thinks it would be a great idea to reboot "Space: 1999." Because the original worked out so well (io9.com)	(72)
	[Main] NASA: Evidence of life on Mars (timesonline.co.uk)	(285)
	[Politics] Sarah Palin lies about Troopergate in her book. The trooper involved, oddly enough, has a problem with that (huffingtonpost.com)	(253)
	[Main] Santa Claus fired for making children cry at a Christmas tree lighting event. "He was inept, sullen and incommunicative" (dailymail.co.uk)	(62)
	[Sports] You wouldn't be human if you didn't think the report of Tiger Woods' alleged affair was linked to his "car accident" today (sportsbybrooks.com)	(41)
	[Main] Woman goes on £50,000 spending spree buying trips and cars for her family thinking she was going to die from breast cancer. Turns out the joke was on her when her doctor gave her the "all clear." (dailymail.co.uk)	(90)
(Some Guy)	[Geek] Holy crap: Is this a trip on a luxury cruise ship? Or an Emirates Airbus A380? (pics) (englishrussia.com)	(72)
	[Music] Radiohead and Elbow are auctioning off some of their musical memorabilia to raise money for landmine victims (contactmusic.com)	(22)
	[Main] Theme from this week's mugshot roundup: Know when to fold 'em (thesmokinggun.com)	(144)
	[Main] At least 22 dead, 55 injured in Russian train crash, bomb crater found at scene (news.bbc.co.uk)	(75)
	[Politics] Yet another (formerly liberal) woman discovers the deep-seated mysogyny of the left (americanthinker.com)	(361)
	[Main] If you're in the market to buy millions of pounds of dead carp, the state of Utah has one heck of a deal for you (nytimes.com)	(51)
	[Main] Not news: Man falls for exotic beauty while on vacation. News: She confesses she's a dude on their first date. Fark: He marries her anyway. TotalFark: You'd hit it. The Sun is there (thesun.co.uk)	(410)
(Some Guy)	[Music] Guns 'N' Roses announce string of Asian concerts, proving that it only took them 16 years to reach the point where they're big in Japan (metalunderground.com)	(29)
(Some Guy)	[Sports] Groom orders massive alligator-shaped cake for his wedding to pay homage to his favorite football team. Yeah, this guy's my hero too (w/ pics) (mailonsunday.co.uk)	(24)
	[Main] Tiger Woods condition upgraded from "serious" to "typical celebrity drunk driving accident" (thestar.com)	(401)
	[Showbiz] "The BBC has abandoned plans to screen a ballet featuring a deformed Pope who rapes nuns that it had announced as one of the highlights of its Christmas schedule." And I was so looking forward to taking the kids (link fixed) (telegraph.co.uk)	(21)
	[Geek] That recent bump in PlayStation 3 sales that put them in first? Fleet sales (arstechnica.com)	(78)
	[Politics] Palin (Q-uitter) doesn't finish 5K charity race (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(343)
	[Main] Tow truck drivers tell cops they thought cars they towed from Best Buy last night belonged to patrons of nearby bar. Apparently didn't realize that the huge line of customers camped out for Black Friday may have had any connection (myfoxhouston.com)	(108)
	[Politics] Netanyahu's stubbornness lead US to openly call for Israel's return to 1967 borders (huffingtonpost.com)	(179)
	[Sports] You know the rivalry is hard-core when the guards are carrying RPG's at a soccer game (edition.cnn.com)	(23)
	[Politics] British scientists and doctors say providing homeopathic medicines through the national health system is unethical, in addition to being a waste of tax dollars and an affront to common sense (guardian.co.uk)	(64)
	[Fark Party] PITTSBURGH Fark Party reminder Tomorrow at 7:00 PM (fark.com)	(1)
	[Main] Indiana police called to two separate Toys 'R Us stores because customers were fighting over robotic hamsters. I had no idea Richard Gere spent his holidays in Indiana (consumerist.com)	(129)
(Some Gator)	[Main] Family's Thanksgiving dinner winds up with four people shot to death, lots of leftovers (wcfcourier.com)	(65)
	[Main] Tiger Woods reported to be in serious condition in Florida hospital after early morning car crash (myfoxorlando.com)	(665)
(Some Guy)	[Geek] Developed nations come up with a plan to improve their climate change performance - throw Canada out of the club so its "appalling" environmental record isn't lumped in with theirs (theecologist.org)	(110)
	[Showbiz] Believe it or not, Sigourney Weaver refuses to lie about her age, says she will continue to make movies, but none will ever be as good as "Dave" (contactmusic.com)	(56)
	[Video] It's Black Friday, so here's Steely Dan singing about it (youtube.com)	(16)
	[Sports] "Behind the petrol pumps, beyond the giant plastic whale that is beached on the forecourt - supposedly to attract customers - is the remotest hole on the world's longest golf course. It's called Dingoes Den" (pics) (timesonline.co.uk)	(5)
	[Music] Richard Hell discusses re-recording his '82 album 'Destiny Street' with Bill Frisell and Marc Ribot: "I was insane and desperate and riddled with drugs and didn't know how to make a record sound good" (guardian.co.uk)	(13)
	[Main] Man described as "boob-crazy" has pair tattooed on his ass. Like most stories about tattoos, it includes the phrase, "It seemed like a good idea at the time" (SFW pic) (thesun.co.uk)	(96)
	[Main] A roundup of cute little animals stuffing their fat little faces on Thanksgiving, just like Americans did (huffingtonpost.com)	(53)
	[Main] Photoshop this surf and turf combo (farm1.static.flickr.com)	(46)
	[Music] Jimi Hendrix voted as having the greatest guitar riff, in a top 20 all-time best list that hasn't changed much since 1989 (contactmusic.com)	(110)
	[Showbiz] Amy Winehouse will not remarry her estranged ex-husband, marking the first time she's done something sensible in over three years (contactmusic.com)	(12)
	[Main] If you're a defense attorney and want to make a point in the courtroom, there are better ways to do it than by pulling the pin on a grenade and putting it on the prosecutor's table (kansas.com)	(39)
(Some Guy)	[Video] Jules Winnfield - Hockey Coach (clipjunkie.com)	(20)
	[Main] Drug-addled teenager rips off his own scrotum. Kid's got ba .... wait, no he doesn't (thesun.co.uk)	(150)
	[Business] Microsoft's top developers say they are still old-school coders and people who use anything with the word 'Visual' in it are probably Mac jerks: "I will fight you if you try to take away my text editor" (networkworld.com)	(132)
	[Music] Good Charlotte apologize for making emo music that got their fans beat up: "I guess if you're gonna dress like you listen to The Cure all the time, you're gonna get s... for it" (news.com.au)	(32)
(Music-News)	[Showbiz] Who would replace Oprah? Snoop Dogg claims he could fit those shoes. Only thing, the show would have to start 20 minutes late, at precisely 4:20 (music-news.com)	(33)
	[Geek] How the Loch Ness monster has been rebranded from a terrifying glimpse of what creatures might live in hell into a benign, family-friendly amusement, just like Times Square (news.bbc.co.uk)	(36)
	[Sports] Found: something that can cover Chad Ochocinco (blogs.suntimes.com)	(42)
	[Main] Police baffled by a string of bizarre cattle mutilations in southern Colorado. Local chupacabras fear they'll be blamed (news.yahoo.com)	(67)
	[Sports] What can Brett Favre do that a threat of moving to Los Angeles can't? (startribune.com)	(53)
(Some Guy)	[Business] Supreme Court agrees that Wal-Mart has the right to close a store permanently if employees form a union, leaving Farkers who hate both Wal-Mart and unions equally unsure of who to get snippy with (financialpost.com)	(200)
	[Showbiz] Kids in the Hall returns with miniseries that's a cross between Corner Gas and Twin Peaks: "You wouldn't be able to do stuff like that in America unless they were paying you $1 per episode" (canada.com)	(80)
	[Main] Today's Friday Photo Fun from our pals at TSG is a tough one. What rock band once required a certain "themed" magazine in their concert rider? Contest ends at 6pm Eastern (thesmokinggun.com)	(136)
	[Politics] New Obama policy costs hundreds of Washington lobbyists their jobs (washingtonpost.com)	(220)
	[Main] New study shows that Americans throw away over 40% of the food they purchase, or about 1,400 calories per person per DAY. Or, put another way, enough to give every starving person on this planet the same waistline as the average American (news.yahoo.com)	(307)
	[Main] HHTYAY (myfoxdc.com)	(52)
	[Video] The best timelapse wrestling video you'll see this side of Robot Chicken (media.theage.com.au)	(48)
	[Fark Publicity] Seattle Times Sideline Chatter has a laugh at Fark's New York Yankee's free agent headline (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(0)
	[Main] You're an astronaut that's going to be on the International Space Station for Thanksgiving, and NASA hasn't planned a meal for you, do you: C) Sneak a Turkey on the Space Shuttle without anyone noticing (gizmodo.com)	(115)
(Some Guy)	[Main] How to avoid paying late fees, strategy #392: confuse the hell out of the manager (longrangeshooter.com)	(83)
	[Sports] NASCAR's national TV ratings haven't crashed, but they're scraping the outside wall on every turn (usatoday.com)	(72)
(WGME.com)	[Main] Teacher don't you fill me up with your rules, 'cause everybody knows that praying is allowed in school (wgme.com)	(94)
	[Business] U.S. Airport intalls "mini-suites" in case you need a quick...nap, yeah, nap (ajc.com)	(43)
	[Business] Small manufacturers claim tough new U.S. toy safety rules are putting them out of business, ask when people are going to stop thinking about the children (abcnews.go.com)	(47)
	[Main] Man who was blind for 30 years now able to see thanks to "bionic eye". With a picture that would make Laforge proud (dailymail.co.uk)	(54)
	[Geek] Scientists develop device to catch rainbows, potentially leading to the world's first functional leprechaun trap (newscientist.com)	(43)
	[Main] Super Lemon Haze wins Cannabis Cup over Vanilla Kush and Head Bang. Totally righteous, dude (celebstoner.com)	(119)
(MaineToday.com)	[Main] A pat on the back, a fist bump, or even an elbow bump are the new way to shake hands thanks to a new germaphobic world (morningsentinel.mainetoday.com)	(56)
	[Main] "I've learned I am a good person and all hot girls aren't evil." (news.com.au)	(125)
	[Main] Photoshop this colorful commuter (upload.wikimedia.org)	(25)
	[Showbiz] Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a farking big television. Ewan McGregor has chosen to prevent a "Trainspotting" sequel from going into production (3news.co.nz)	(56)
	[Main] Man digs up wife's corpse just for hugs (news.scotsman.com)	(82)
(Brisbane Times)	[Business] World markets would like to thank Dubai for royally farking everything up (brisbanetimes.com.au)	(51)
	[Main] Forget killer bees. Here come super termites (news.com.au)	(39)
	[Fark Publicity] The Seattle Times applauds Fark for a headline that pokes fun at the New York Yankees (2nd section from the bottom) (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(0)
	[Main] Wal-Mart taking extra safety precautions this Black Friday to prevent unruly deal-deprived mobs from trampling themselves to death again. Obvious tag chuckles menacingly before shoving further up in line (mercurynews.com)	(165)
(madison.com)	[Politics] "The federal government can roll into your driveway in the middle of the night and snatch you up and take you away and you'll never be seen again." (host.madison.com)	(243)
	[Main] Ugly-ass baby meerkats cuddle up with a plush meerkat doll after losing their mother. The Sun is there (thesun.co.uk)	(27)
	[Video] When was the last time you got a hummer underwater? (break.com)	(21)
	[Sports] Broncos coach Josh McDaniels off-colorfully updates Herman Edwards "You play to win the game" phrase during NFL network telecast (with Not safe for work audio) (sportsbybrooks.com)	(37)
	[Main] Scottish brewery releases world's strongest beer, Tactical Nuclear Penguin, that's 32% alcohol. The Sun is there (thesun.co.uk)	(126)
	[Sports] Classy (msnbc.msn.com)	(66)
	[Politics] Beck to Palin "go make me a sammitch" (gawker.com)	(168)
	[Sports] Green Bay has Cheeseheads that use foam immitations on their heads... The Grey Cup bound Saskatchewan Roughriders have forced all Watermelons in Western Canada to be diverted to Calgary this weekend (cbc.ca)	(39)
	[Main] Inspectors make an unannounced visit to Basildon University Hospital and discover 70 dead people, blood-splattered curtains, unfed elderly patients, poorly-trained nurses, and a decaying partridge in a wilting pear tree (dailymail.co.uk)	(247)