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Fri February 03, 2012

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		[Main] Worker falls into nuclear reactor pool trying to recover flashlight. Worst. Origin. Story. Ever. (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(85)
(Some Guy)		[Sports] Because he hasn't said anything stupid for almost 24 hours, Jim Irsay would like to remind everyone that he remains close with...Parson? Patton? Peyote? What was that kid's name again? (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)	(23)
(LA Weekly)		[Main] There's dick, there's douchebag, and now there's "dart player" (laweekly.com)	(260)
(Some Guy)		[Politics] "Cry me a freaking river," says Komen's new CEO about totally coincidental new policy to defund groups beginning with 'P' and rhyming with "bland parenthood" (jezebel.com)	(145)
		[Entertainment] Black Sabbath drummer threatens to pull out of band's reunion unless they offer him respect, dignity, and a "signable contract". Guess he's never seen Spinal Tap (bbc.co.uk)	(27)
(times-tribune)		[Main] Cain not able to explain why he attacked his brother (thetimes-tribune.com)	(32)
(Some Guy)		[Main] Sure, we've all sped when we were running late for work. It's just that most of us didn't have weed and meth on us, nor did we decide to start a fight with the cops who stopped us (dailycommercial.com)	(10)
		[Main] My Father always told me, "If you're doing something that will make you wanted by the police, remember not to ask the police if you're wanted" (chicagotribune.com)	(13)
(Some Guy)		[Main] Susan Komen Foundation introduces pink handguns to promote Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Really (wisconsingazette.com)	(294)
		[Sports] Phil Mickelson is suing to find out the real names of people that posted nasty comments about him and his wife on the internet. Personally I heard it was Mike Hawk and Harry Sack (utsandiego.com)	(47)

Thu February 02, 2012

		[Main] Everyone in town wins. Except you, you get nothing (wgal.com)	(47)
		[Entertainment] "Start saving your pennies now. People spend $300 on crazy things all the time, things like handbags. So work all year, scrape the money together, and come to my show. I'm worth it" (starpulse.com)	(101)
		[Main] So what did Facebook's $5 billion IPO teach us? Well, for one thing, it taught us that Facebook users are a drooling pack of monkey idiots. "Screw this, I'm making Jeffbook...it's time to get paid" (cnn.com)	(175)
		[Politics] Sen. Mike Lee thinks President Obama using his constitutional power to make recess appointments is exactly like the Japanese attacking Pearl Harbor and killing 2400 Americans (thinkprogress.org)	(97)
(Some Guy)		[Main] Not News: Man arrested after attempting to move the vehicle blocking his car. News: It was an ambulance. Fark: Paramedics were loading it with a patient at the time (y100.com)	(76)
		[Politics] N.J. Democratic lawmakers: "Shame on Chris Christie for abusing the Port Authority for patronage. (Psst, hey Port Authority, how about some patronage?)" (nj.com)	(13)
(Some Guy)		[Politics] The Republican rhetoric about the president is going to cause his assassination, according to Punxsatawnee Jackson (wiod.com)	(85)
		[Main] Woman criticises your website for stating that 85 per cent of rapes go unreported is 'good odds'. Should you C)Take to Twitter to ask if she is a lesbian? (thisisplymouth.co.uk)	(198)
		[Main] Employees taking stacks of cash from a bank vault for an auditor to count, forget to remove the ones with the exploding dye packs (denver.cbslocal.com)	(52)
		[Main] Woman caught after high speed chase through Seattle in stolen cherry picker tells cops it was always on her bucket list (seattlepi.com)	(11)
(brobible.com)		[Main] Larry, Curly, and Moe busted for running $1 million LSD ring at Drexel University (brobible.com)	(81)
		[Main] Alabama State Senator Shadrack McGill: "If you double a teacher's pay scale, you'll attract people who aren't called to teach" (huffingtonpost.com)	(440)

Wed February 01, 2012

		[Politics] You're Newt Gingrich's superPAC director. Do you c) respond to criticism of dog-whistling by blaming MSNBC, saying that black people have no role models, and that Democrats abort black babies? (salon.com)	(125)
		[Main] The FBI likes to intimidate suspects by using a chainsaw to go through apartment doors, a technique that's especially intimidating when they saw through the wrong door (thedailybeast.com)	(207)
		[Politics] Sen. Marco Rubio (R-epublican hero) introduces a "common-sense bill" to combat birth control (huffingtonpost.com)	(239)
		[Entertainment] Miley Cyrus broke her tailbone 'doing flips', which is a pretty dumb nickname for her boyfriend, but whatever (thesuperficial.com)	(31)
		[Politics] Mitt Romney follows up his decisive Florida primary win with another shot to the foot: I'm not concerned about the very poor...that's what the Democratic party is for (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(291)
		[Main] Claiming you fought in Vietnam War to the press while serving in Afghan War is double daft (stripes.com)	(45)
(Some Guy)		[Main] Man crashes the boards at hockey rink. While drunk. While driving the Zamboni. Surprisingly, this story does not take place in Canada (duluthnewstribune.com)	(22)
		[Entertainment] After a rough night at Quark's, Captain Sisko beamed to jail for taking the helm of the Defiant while drunk (eonline.com)	(59)

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