Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Tech Archives for '2007-04-08 23:59:59'

# of Comments

(EnglishRussia)

Russia to build giant Roomba on top of highway in Moscow

(0)

Would you watch TV on a display you could fold in half?

(27)

£2 billion project to answer some of the biggest mysteries of the universe delayed because someone forgot to carry a two

(29)

New optical chip can download 2 hours of video in 1 second. Imagine the educational applications, or porn

(34)

Study finds that today's teenagers are the first generation whose health is worse than their parents'

(17)

New study finds smoking less enjoyable after consuming more celery, less coffee. Follow-up study to show most things in life less enjoyable after consuming more celery

Study finds that teens engage in dangerous behavior because their brains are pleased by Risk, bored by Monopoly

(18)

New car smell that was found to be toxic is now non-toxic again. Expected to be considered lethal by noon tomorrow and harmless again by the evening

Hello? Flipper here. First-time caller, long-time listener. I've got a couple of topics I want to click about

UK forges ahead with its manimal program

Sat April 07, 2007:

# of Comments

Billionaire makes Kazakhstan space benefit

(8)

New artery cleaner is like a plumber's snake for your artery's bacon build-up. Works great as long as you don't mind spinning blades in your blood vessels

(13)

Human fossil remains from northern China indicate that Noah took at least 2 neanderthals on the Ark

(24)

New, obviously totally unbiased study finds that opponents of anti-smacking legislation don't even view children as human beings

(26)

Developer of MS Word to blow up 5 miles above the earth's surface

(27)

(playfuls.com)

Microsoft says DRM-free music soon to be available to all 14 Zune owners. Steve Jobs to announce Microsoft's next move shortly

(208)

The History of Home Theater

RFID tags on shoelaces can now track runners. "1984" heroine not amused

(24)

Ocean temperatures are going to drop in the next five to ten years. Suck it, Al Gore

(374)

Experiment finds that food additives, preservatives and colours make children aggressive and disruptive. In other news, breathing, walking make children aggressive and disruptive

(American Thinker)

US set to ban incandescent light bulbs, hoping it will lower electric prices and shed coal plants faster. Unfortunately, it will do the opposite

(348)

Fri April 06, 2007:

# of Comments

Report offers scientists attention, bureaucrats a crisis, politicians equivocation. Oh, and it says something about global warming that will be praised and derided by the usual suspects and fail to change anybody's mind

(47)

(Some Real Scientists)

"Al Gore is not a climatologist, meteorologist, astronomer, or scientist of any kind; he is a politician". In related news, all that AquaNet you used in the 80's isn't causing this crazy weather

(102)

Professor Romero Ph D. from the Institute of the Blindingly Obvious discovers that a dog's size is determined by genetics

(28)

Retirees to create flying car. In related news, farmers markets to purchase anti-aircraft artillery

(87)

Male breast cancer a lot like the LAPD

(93)

(arstechnica)

Vonage barred from signing up new subscribers. Woo-hoo woo hoo hooo

(36)

(playfuls.com)

A nicely shaped banana followed closely by some lovely nuts could help prevent asthma, promote fellatio

Why those more expensive, higher bitrate downloads ITunes is selling now probably won't sound any better than the cheaper, lower bitrate downloads they have now

(91)

Jessica Valenti on sexism and the Web. You'd hit it

(56)

(Nintendo)

Nintendo 2006 profits rise 62 percent to over $2 billion, thanks to the DS Lite, which outsold the PSP two to one in the past year. The Wii is currently also outselling the PS3 two to one

(162)

Deaths from superbug will soon surpass the number of deaths from traffic accidents

(26)

Just two weeks after Apple released Apple TV, hackers successfully installed OS X on the $300 device, making it the cheapest PC Cupertino has ever sold

(28)

Amazon patents human piecework, but only when the human is attached to a computer

(3)

Mr. Bean will have his own video game. No, seriously. STOP LAUGHING

Chess-playing machines were first conceived of over 200 years ago. Suck it, Deep Blue

Thai government bans YouTube because of video insulting to King Bhumibol Adulyadej, who is a total a-hole and sucks at everything

(40)

New solar-cell technology will have us wearing our batteries. In three years, apparently

UN nears accord on climate change, plans to embargo on Sun

(90)

Cancer cures cause cancer. Still no cure for cure of cancer

(14)

Engineers at Purdue University say it would take them two to three years to come up with a working prototype of a cloaking device

(109)

If your favorite sci fi movie isn't on this list, you don't know what you're missing

(202)

Thu April 05, 2007:

# of Comments

Japan approves first hatch for unwanted babies. Japanese hatch to be twice as small, cost half as much, and accept four times more unwanted infants than inferior American baby hatches

(120)

Aspirin can make your stomach bleed, Tylenol can kill your liver, now Advil will give you a heart attack. Safest headache remedy is now hitting yourself on the head with claw hammer

(126)

28,258 Internet users are viewing pornography. Is that the best we can do?

(179)

Taking a page from Sen. Ted "Inertubez" Stevens' playbook, Microsoft dumps 6000 pages of specs about its' Open XML format on the ISO and then asks them for fast-track approval

(28)

(Science Daily)

Honey, I Shunk The Environmental Energy Generator

(Some Clunker)

Your new iPhone: $600. Two-year Cingular contract: $800. iPhone accessories: $100. Carrying around a useless brick because the battery only lasts 40 minutes: Priceless

(71)

(Pocket Gamer)

New mobile game features buxom manga hero changing nappies and tending to children that look like the devil (yes, really)

Windows cursor bug is being exploited by hackers in World of Warcraft. But seriously, the odds of it happening to you are like 1 in 32.33 repeating of course

(37)

Scientists discover global warming on Mars even though Martians have switched to alternative fuels

(456)

(Billboard)

RIAA asshattery taken to the next level: They're threatening to sue their own members for legitimately distributing free promo songs

(104)

USA Today photo essay shows the important work being done aboard ISS -- such as eating, cutting hair and generally not dying

(9)

Hackers still using the "Nude Britney Spears" emails to try and spead virii, apparently unaware that Britney has moved from "hit it" to "do not want" status

(87)

U.S. scientists have discovered ancient Greeks unwittingly created a sophisticated acoustic filter while building a fourth century B.C. theater at Epidaurus

Up to 25 percent of people told they have depression may have been wrongly diagnosed. As it turns out, they're just really boring

(281)

U.S. busts Cirrus CEO for selling U.S. computer technology to India

Add this to your list of reasons to never swim in the Congo River: The Goliath Tigerfish

(22)

Spent $600 on a PS3 and seen nothing cool for it yet? Well, they do have dirty games available for it

(79)

UN to examine climate change impact, issue stern letters to Mother Earth. With pic of man whose hair has been affected by global warming

Greenpeace ranks Apple last in environmental friendliness among major electronics makers

(45)

People who forget to take their medication may now get spammed by their "smart" pillboxes to remind them. R3M3MB34 UR VI4GR4, C14l15?

Study links autism to watching TV. Uh oh, 15 minutes to Wapner

(31)

Geographer creates maps for blind using the Force. No word on whether it will help users find that small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port

(9)

The dot-com bubble may have burst a long time ago, but F***edCompany.com may be getting its second wind, as there will always be new, stupid businesses to make fun of

(50)

Sony cuts price on its PSP, now only slightly overpriced

(44)

Ugly-ass bald eagle chicks hatch for first time in 30 years on Catalina Island

(14)

(PC Mag)

Attention Comcast customers: Stop hogging bandwidth or risk a one-year service termination. By the way, Comcast refuses to reveal just how much bandwidth is too much. Have a nice day

(51)

Computers to automate breast exams? Where's the fun in that?

(9)

Microsoft sued over "Windows Vista Capable" stickers on PCs which in reality will barely run the most stripped down version of Vista. Microsoft? Deceptive? Nah

(277)

Wed April 04, 2007:

# of Comments

Study finds greater exposure to day care increases violence, strep throat

The legal war against Google is growing and will shape the face of broadband media for years to come. But why you think the Nets was born? Porn porn porn. Sorry Katemonster

China plans to send rover to the moon where they won't have to parallel park

(8)

Christmas cancelled as Arctic sea ice fails to form again

(17)

Australian to live underwater for two weeks. No word on if he will be sleeping with the fishes

IBM do|\|8s 100,000 copeis of speechjtranslatiion warez topt he miiltary for humnaitarian use in Ioraq

Original 1976 DeLorean prototype available now on Ebay

(22)

Wardrivers about to WEP their asses into any system they can reach

(30)

(ComputerWorld)

RadioShack: You've got identity, we've got theft

(22)

(WYFF4.com)

Looks like two of those 2008 high-tech visas that got depleted in one day just became available again

(6)

Automotive spy photographer Brenda Priddy caught shooting in NY Auto Show media center

(17)

(Cybernet News)

Verizon sells unlimited wireless internet access. And by unlimited, they mean five GBs per month

(58)

Relics believed to be from Joan of Arc turn out to be from ancient Egyptian mummy. No comment from ancient relic in charge of Vatican yet

Real FBI sends virtual FBI into Second Life to explore virtual casinos that may lead to real-world gambling with virtual money that yields real-world money. Ow my head

(27)

2008 high-tech visas depleted in single day, proving science, engineering, and computer programming are the jobs Americans "don't want to do"

(145)

Mozilla plans to introduce new "Make Firefox Suck" add-on

(36)

Eggs are good for you again

(24)

(Computerworld)

Twenty-one biggest tech flops, from DAT to Flooz to WebTV

(79)

(Some Non-Flu Ridden Guy)

Apple Mac Pros: Now with 8-cores

(70)

(NY Sun)

The CEO who sees Fat Albert for what he is: "He is more dangerous than his global warming"

(597)

(LGT pic)

Intel blah blah blah quad core blah blah connectivity blah blah blah 30 years. In other news, OCC unveils ultracool new 4 cylinder 250hp Intel theme bike among indifferent Silicon Valley nerds just wanting to be on TV

(26)

UN agency predicts that worldwide cancer cases will double by 2030. Still no cure for fear-mongering

(8)

Influenza B may be resistant to Tamiflu and Relenza. EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG... errr... PANIC

You know you always suspected it, but now there's proof: PowerPoint presentations are bad for your brain

(77)

Rated worst of the worst for reliability last year, Bank of America's Web site is tormenting customers again this morning

(39)

Can't afford the latest geek toys? Make 'em yourself

MySpace to hold virtual presidential vote. Will have about as much influence as the real thing

Man could spend the rest of his life behind bars if he is found guilty of gaining access to some 97 military and NASA computers in U.S. Just had to hack after seeing "WarGames" and hearing stories from stepdad about UFOs

(61)

Porcine-looking former "Star Trek" actor declares that cellphones are better than original "Star Trek" communicators

Using the Hubble Space Telescope, astronomers have produced a sparkling new picture of a spiral galaxy called NGC 1672 - a distant relative of our own Milky Way, only sexier. The Milky Way totally hit that this one day at Grandma's (pic)

Tue April 03, 2007:

# of Comments

There are many reasons people believe that Utah is like a whole other planet. Now scientists support that idea

(84)

(IHT)

Genetic study of people living in one of Europe's most inbred towns shows that Italy's first great civilization may have been founded by refugees from the Middle East

(18)

(Some Sonopia)

Tired of CingularAT&TSprint-Mobile raping you every month? Make your own mobile network. "Can you hear me now?" ads not included

Dollar-store bracelets come with added health benefit: Enough lead to protect you from nuclear fallout

(54)

Car anti-heft system that breaks arms and cracks skulls

(32)

(Finance24.nz)

Google moving to television. Ads will reportedly include giant pirates and meth coffee

(10)

(Reno Gazette-Journal)

Scientific study allegedly finds that ogling boobies has more health benefits for men than working out in a gym. If true, average Farker's lifespan expected to be 153 years

(93)

(Michelle Malkin)

Liberal female bloggers discover misogyny on the Web. Funny how they never noticed when they were calling conservative female bloggers "biatches"

(98)

The Chicago Tribune has discovered Conservapedia and does a fine job of "cut and paste" reporting

(Rum Guy)

Rant: All robots are crap

(32)

Want lasting happiness? Here comes the science

Teens compete to build upper stage of NASA rocket, fill house with assloads of popcorn

One thing Google has trouble finding: The python that's loose in their offices. Google CEO is reportedly tired of the mother *&%#ing snake in his mother&$*ing office

(60)

Google Maps goes back to post-Katrina images of New Orleans, says the place is a dump no matter which pictures you use

(74)

How free Web hosters profit from phishing sites

(2)

(science magazine)

It turns out that early Homo sapiens would boink anything that moved. Well, except for Lisa Lampenelli

(33)

Remember how we switched to more daylight savings time to save energy? The electric companies say, "Not so much"

(45)

French set new high-speed train record. Now able to deliver white flag from Paris to Berlin in under two hours

(327)

a/s/l? a/s/l? a/s/l? a/s/l? a/s/l? a/s/l? a/s/l? a/s/l? a/s/l?

(176)

World's most exciting coaster rockets you to 128 mph in 3.5 seconds

(30)

The risk of dying from radiation poisoning at Chernobyl is now equal to everyday risks, like air pollution, passive smoking, attacks by giant mutated hamsters

(102)

Survey finds that Britain is a nation of "love spies." Followup studies to reveal widespread preferences for vodka martinis (shaken, not stirred), witty quips before dispatching enemies

Survey investigates whether women fake orgasms, discovers that the answer is yes, yes, um, oh God YES

(34)

(FMQB)

Pulling stats out of his Rehr, broadcasting lobbyist head claims iPods don't compete with satellite radio. Then how can he explain why the terrestrial radio audience is shrinking?

(20)

(NYTimes)

X Prize Foundation offers $10 million to first person to develop production-ready 100 mpg car

(40)

Mon April 02, 2007:

# of Comments

"Guitar Hero" goes mobile, hits Xbox 360 and forms its own band in the upcoming "Rock Band"

(48)

The coolest ferro-magnetic kinetic sculpture you'll see, at least until the T1000 starts shipping

California fiasco: $1.2 billion in fines because it can’t build a network

(10)

Bad news: SPAM not going away. Good news: Author and smitty agree on the final solution -- last paragraph

(25)

(Scrum Guy)

Aggressive people drink more than party people

There is no defense against new Windows virus. EVERYONE PANIC

(126)

(China View)

Actual headline: Scientists find Earth's core is really, really hot. Obvious tag slaps on some lotion and heads to Florida

Gmail responds to Yahoo's unlimited storage with "infinity + 1" storage

(34)

Paul J. Cohen becomes one with the continuum, but nobody can prove it

Experimental colon cancer drug craps out

Exposure to dirt may boost the immune system, UK scientists say. Submitter hoping to be prescribed front-row seats to first NHS mud-wrestling event

(55)

European Space Agency plans to send a crew of six on a simulated 500-day trip to Mars. If things go wrong, they'll be talking to themselves with wet towels wrapped around their heads

(75)

Top five things Microsoft should do to get an edge

(71)

"Ron Jeremy sticks it to tech sector"

(6)

"Superchill" your Coke with just salt, ice and water in two minutes or less

(56)

Scientists have developed a simple method of converting blood from one group to another. Apparently, some crazy fools actually think that the world needs more Type O Negative

(41)

Stem cells from embryos used to grow human heart valves. And by "embryos", I mean "grown adults". Suck it, embryos

West Australian Government launches a website to help authorities track down dangerous, escaped fugitives. A killer app, if you will