(Blizzard)		Cinematic trailer for latest World of Warcraft expansion released. Screams of excitement from basements heard worldwide	(19)
		Get "Hot for Teacher" then "Beat It"- Guitar Hero 4's set list is released	(37)
		Elephants can do math. EVERYBODY PANIC	(73)
		Dumbass: Hacker breaks into FEMA's voicemail system and makes $12,000 worth of calls to the Middle East and Asia. FAIL: Using the vulnerability FEMA warned about in 2003	(16)
		New analysis indicates Iceman likely was herdsman, F-14 pilot	(18)
		Scientists find that hundred year old stained glass windows are coated with gold nanoparticles that purify the air when hit with sun light. Conspiracy theorists will have a field day with this one	(45)
(Some Knittette)		Terry Pratchett receives spiffy handmade "Pratchgan" from fans. And yes, the tears in my eyes are caused by Ankh-Morpork's polluted air	(31)
		Mmmmmmmmm.... calcium	(27)
		People with pacemakers to get their own personal firewall to stop pale faced basement dwellers hacking into them	(15)
		Today's iPhone 3G killer phone brougt you by the Palm Treo Pro	(79)
		"One of the effects of weightlessness is reduced blood flow to the lower half of your body. The rumor in Star City is that many have tried in vain to get it up out there."	(29)
		Fascinating BBC documentary on the intersection of neurology and theology	(73)
		A massive mechanical mole that has spent the last five years burrowing through Southern California resurfaced Wednesday. Eeeew	(78)
(3 Quarks Daily)		That's either a cool optical illusion or submitter drank more than he thought	(57)

		Illegal immigrants in England take 110 years to move 80 feet; may be considered for top civil service jobs	(8)
		James Watson immune to codeine, common sense, race based medicine	(32)
		Fruit juice could reduce effectiveness of certain drugs. But not orange juice, man	(24)
		The Googleplex: apartment-style living for the socially-challenged	(16)
		15 images that look like they were Photoshopped but weren't. Proof that some of you need to go out into the Big Blue Room now and then	(78)
(Blueweeds)		Not news: Local offical pulled over for speeding. News: Cop offers to let him off because he is driving a hydrogen car. Fark: Official insists on getting a ticket to illustrate the speed of the hydrogen car	(94)
		Head of Nigerian government agency charged with stealing public money to hire a witch doctor to guarantee him career success. Turns out it was a scam, marking the first time "Nigerian" and "scam" occurred in the same headline	(13)
		Scientist discover source of Flying Spaghetti Monster's infinite knowledge and power. Ramen	(17)
(I Started Something)		Internet Exploder 8 may have "porn mode"	(46)
		Giving blood may soon go the way of winding your watch or changing your record needle, as scientists announce a new technique to create unlimited blood supplies from stem cells	(176)
		Gadget reviewer nearly kills self testing iPhone loaner while driving, then loses it	(14)
		Planets with gooey centers more likely to harbor life, taste better	(13)
		Please be sure your seats are in the upright and locked position. You are now free to surf the internet for porn	(75)
		Microsoft's Adcenter has apparently been trolling FARK for keyword suggestions	(16)
		Things Hackers can do. 1) Break into secure computer networks. 2) Steal credentials and credit cards off the internet for identity theft 3) Bust the underage Chinese gymansts by finding proof they are underage ... Wait. What?	(84)
		Alex Proyas to adapt obscure Heinlein novella--which sounds suspiciously like a Philip K. Dick story--for the big screen. Proyas said he chose Heinlein because he doesn't know Dick	(91)
		Article asks, "If you had $147,000 to spend on scientific research, would you rather try to find a cure for cancer or see whether women get sexually aroused while watching pornography?"	(172)
		Geeks use lasers to cut pizza, make coffee	(33)
(China Daily)		Scientists say we can see sound even without the help of LSD	(48)

		Are you alienated by Google's racism because when you search for "Whitney" it returns the Whitney Museum of Art instead of Whitney Houston? Say hello to the Black Google	(177)
		Verizon to America: Don't blame us for your craptastic iPhone	(62)
		Yet one more way stem cells could save lives if Republicans would just leave science the fark alone	(140)
		Climate change a bunch of hooey, you say? The Kenai National Forest would like a few words with you	(570)
		Want to live a little longer? Get a second wife. New research suggests that men from polygamous cultures outlive those from monogamous ones. Penis	(43)
		Google's plan for world domination is proceeding as scheduled as it starts to invest in drilling geothermal reserves	(41)
		A new study suggests your dog is stupid because you are, too	(24)
		Step 1: Freeze a rubber suit and call it Bigfoot. Step 2: ??? Step 3: Profit. Step 4: Disappear	(181)
		Parents crucify babysitter. Literally	(53)
		Witness the power of this fully functional Death Sta -- I mean, skyscraper	(108)
		Looks like someone over at Sega saw "Grindhouse"	(39)
		Researchers believe attending church may help student's GPAs through increased discipline, parental involvement. Have faith no one will try and distort the study by saying believing in God makes you smarter	(45)
(Some Trekkie)		Jonathan Frakes turns 56 today. Enjoy some Riker bloopers	(62)
		Reason No. 34,231 our schools are failing: Teachers need to take a course in how to use Google	(46)
		The annual college mindset list is out: Incoming freshmen have never known a world without GPS, karaoke, and, until now, the Packers without Brett Favre	(58)
(Some Guy)		Impact crater in Australia may be from comet that started all life on Earth, found by guy with way too much time on his hands	(49)
		Wild dolphin teaches other dolphins to tail-walk. Fifteen yards, still first down	(83)
		A hundred computer-game sharers busted -- 100,000,000 still on the loose	(36)
(Newslite.tv)		Scientists that play WoW are better at science, say scientists that play WoW	(34)
		EW's 25 best sci-fi TV shows and movies in last 25 years	(184)
		Study shows burning coal is primary source of heavy metal pollution in Greenland, followed closely by up-and-coming Swedish garage bands	(9)
(Some Guy)		Double your pleasure, double your fun... decrease your colon-surgery recovery time with Doublemint Gum	(13)
		*ring ring* *ring ring* *ring ring* *ring ring* condomophone. Thank you, come again	(17)
		Self-described "armchair physicists" and "amateur scientists" trying to build homemade fusion reactors using spare parts. Choose ending: "Macguyver unimpressed" or "This should end well"	(49)
(Some Guy)		Mathematicians claim that if humans have free will, then the lowliest subatomic particle must have it as well. Subby wishes he would've published his 3:00 a.m. coffeeshop ramblings sooner	(181)
		"We found that shorter, slimmer females with long slender legs, a curvy figure and larger breasts are more attractive." Ric Romero has a chubby	(61)
		Eleven things we hate about iTunes	(185)
		Mutated fish alarm environmental activists in Northern Alberta. Complete with a photo of one of the mutants	(143)
		Batman meets the Segway	(34)

		Tossup between "creepy" and "spiffy:" South Korean artist creates skeletons of cartoon characters with archeological precision	(87)
		Students develop "Spacetime Fusion Technique", a technology to fill or remove objects from video footage	(91)
		I'm in ur abdominal cavity, scoping mah tubes	(4)
		"The environmental movement has morphed into the most authoritarian philosophy in America"	(88)
		A newly discovered "minor planet" with an elongated orbit around the Sun may help explain the origin of comets, buy alcohol in a few years	(10)
		Emily, the creepy videogame RealDoll that has leapt across 'Uncanny valley'	(96)
		Old and busted: H5N1, New Hotness: H9N2 - almost twice as bad?	(103)
		Up Up Left Right Left Right B A Start	(56)
		Feds out of Google's way: FCC signs off on HTC Dream a.k.a. GPhone	(32)
(Mark's Technology News)		NASA concept car: A decapitation machine that can drive sideways	(32)
(BLOCKBUSTER BUZZ)		Watchmen creator Dave Gibbons on the new "very sexy, very violent" movie	(146)
		Why an exciting book is just as thrilling as a hair-raising movie (with pic of woman presumably watching any Uwe Boll film)	(12)
		Bruce Campbell on "Evil Dead 4": "When [Sam Raimi's] ready, I'm ready"	(82)
		Microsoft: of course we spy on our web users. But not as much as the other guys	(11)
		Giant windshield may stop glacial melt. Yeah, sure it will	(16)
		Contrary to popular opinion, science finds that video games are great for the brain	(27)
		If you thought the internet was cool, wait until it goes big time	(21)
		Robot bartender weighing 500 pounds can serve a quick drink. Isaac-Tron has 500 vocal effects and answers questions, like what the lady at the end of bar is putting in her gear box tonight	(39)
(Some Moran)		Not News: ZTE releases new phone. News: It can receive analog TV broadcasts. Fark: U.S. analog TV broadcasts to be shut down Feb '09	(29)
		Butt of jokes, stunt doubles for children, porn, cure for cancer - dwarfs; is there anything they can't do?	(66)
		Toshiba: Ok Ok so our HD DVD thing tanked. But we are really excited about our new endeavor ... the DVD player	(69)
		The coolest Jetson's - flying - car - that - looks - like - floppy - bunny - ears you will see today	(26)
		State fairs are going green, and we're not talking about the deep-fried asparagus	(32)
		AT&T accuses Google of privacy weaknesses, kettle of being black	(9)

		Spiffy: scientists investigate split ends, frizziness and say bad hair days may soon be a thing of the past. Amusing: Donald Trump photo used in article	(26)
		16 year old drops out of high school to focus on Guitar Hero career	(72)
		Then: America must embrace wind power to save the planet. Now: Big Wind is despoiling nature, ruining America's farms, splitting up families. Soon to come: America must embrace moonbeams and unicorn farts to save the planet	(287)
		Internet radio nears its end as record companies continue to insist that 100-300% of revenue is a fair price	(108)
		Christian researchers strive to prove that the Shroud of Turin is real. "The 'it's just that dude from the Doobie Brothers' theory is just that, a theory" claims head scientist	(84)
		NASA delays robotic moon mission after soundstage construction falls behind schedule	(10)
		Physicists at Baylor say that faster than light travel could be possible through the use of "dark energy". Submitter doesn't really get the science here, he just hopes this means he might get to score with an alien chick someday	(127)
		Moss can be used as an alternative to chlorine. The downside being it will complain about its job and then ask to be traded	(23)

(Irish Times)		Politician presses for creationism to be taught alongside evolution in classrooms across Northern Ireland. Class will be held right after Inroduction to Leprechaun Biology	(277)
		India to witness partial lunar eclipse. The rest of it has been outsourced	(9)
(Palo Alto Daily News)		When your Bigfoot press conference is hijacked by a guy in a Chewbacca costume wielding a "We hide for a reason" sign, you might just have a credibility problem	(88)
		California to build two solar plants with the ability to produce as much power in a single day as a coal plant	(135)
		Is computer use changing children?	(81)
		Jet trails spotted on Saturn moon. Cruise Missile? It's not a streetlight	(23)
		NASA solar eschatologist states 2008 will not see the second coming of the Maunder Minimum (with hot "you are here" graphic)	(31)
		Tech-saavy columnist discovers Twitter and concludes it "can safely be ignored." The column surely was written in 2006, right? Nope	(43)
(Some Guy)		Happy 10th birthday, iMac	(91)
		NASA declares war on the moon	(55)
		Archaeologists find the portal to the underworld in Mexico, which leads to an obstacle course instead of a stairway to heaven	(36)
		Fark mascot being studied by scientists	(96)

		One of the two samples of DNA said to prove the existence of the Bigfoot came from a human and the other was 96 percent from an opossum. That is legal in north Georgia	(158)
		Full moons cause people to have strokes. Werewolves most at risk, say scientists	(14)
		What the Terminator skull would look like as a DVD player	(13)
		Red Bull gives you.... a stroke and increased risk of heart disease	(50)
		New 3G ... Iphone suff .... drop .... calls world-wide.... at Apple blame ..... hope they.... product recall	(59)
		Top Ten worst car names: How can you go wrong with "Nissan Homy Super Long" or "Isuzu Mysterious Utility Wizard"?	(34)
(Some Guy)		Russia's latest tactic in the Cyberwar against Georgia: Trolling	(87)
(ToplessRobot)		Terrible villains, awful plotlines and that invisible plane: 10 reasons no one cares about a Wonder Woman movie	(115)
(Some topless robot...)		10 most blatant Star Wars Ripoffs. With trailer goodness. ..."The Black Hole"?	(131)
		UMass professor discovers security hole in your heart	(40)
(Some Guy)		It's bad enough that Star Trek geeks have spent years learning to speak Klingon; now they've invented a whole new language for Romulans. K'pekt	(42)
		George Lucas hired one of the top three living directors of animation and gave him full creative control, and the result was a masterpiece. Then he fired him and made a crappy kids movie on the cheap	(112)
(EurekAlert)		Big-brained animals evolve faster - at least until they can form the idea "Mmmmmm, boobies", then the focus moves away from brains	(58)
		Would you sleep with Zelda from the Legend of Zelda? This guy really wants to	(64)
		Guy builds world's smallest Corvette V8 engine, includes spark ignition	(51)

(Some Guy)

Scientists dig up frozen Alaska corpses, subtract 1918 flu virus from them, and confirm that old surviving coots still carry antibodies

(7)