Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		NCAA Tournament Day 1 discussion thread. In the future, this holiday will be known as "The day Murray State shocked the world"  (espn.go.com)	(lots)
		Last chance to sign up for 2010 Fark NCAA Tournament Pick'em. Search for Fark, no pword required. Duke sucks  (games.espn.go.com)	(224)

(Black Album's The Best)		Metallica claim that their 2011 tour will "rival Pink Floyd's The Wall Tour." Look, if you're going to try and compare your tour to another, don't pick one from one of the top ten best bands ever  (nme.com)	(107)
		Conan's "Legally Prohibited" tour set to be filmed for a documentary feature. Because the Masturbating Bear's onboard, let's hope they don't go 3D on this one  (examiner.com)	(39)

		Jack Johnson is giving 100% of his tour profits to his favorite charities this year  (starpulse.com)	(19)
		Kings of Leon are "stoked" about their huge summer tour, which means radio stations will play USE SOMEBODY over and over until August  (rollingstone.com)	(34)
		For the five of you who care, here are your brackets for the 2010 UConn Women's Invitational Tournament  (espn.go.com)	(52)

(WWL)		The City of New Orleans encourages tourists to take pictures of police officers in action. Just kidding, they'll haul your ass to jail for that  (wwl.com)	(92)
		Turkey bans turkey-baster tourism  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(81)
(Some Pistol)		One reason to see Public Image LTD's upcoming tour? All proceeds will go to the recording of their album  (spinner.com)	(21)

Conan's salary from his half assed tour = $0, all proceeds go to staff  (tmz.com)

(85)

		Glenn Beck exposes the sinister Marxist plot behind popular music like "This Land is Your Land" and "Revolution". I guess "Yes, We Have No Bananas" was too old to cover  (mediamatters.org)	(172)
		Now that the Iowa Hawkeyes have been eliminated from the Big Ten Tournament, school officials do the only sensible thing and decide they may fire coach Todd Lickliter. Heh. "Lickliter." As if anyone would be that desperate  (qctimes.com)	(13)
(Some Living Legends of Rock)		No one one is buying "I Put a Spell On You," the charity single from Shane MacGowan, Nick Cave, Chrissie Hynde, Glen Matlock, and Bobby Gillespie because they left off the name of an X-Factor singer who contributed  (spinner.com)	(24)
		A bored Conan O'Brien will take his show to the stage in an upcoming 30-city tour of the US  (abcnews.go.com)	(92)
(Some Guy)		Montana comes back from a 20 point second half defecit to win an NCAA tournament appearance. Bonus: Montana player breaks Big Sky Tournament records for points in a game  (missoulian.com)	(34)

Next stop on the Failboni thin ice pond tour - Keystone, CO (with sinking zamboni pic)  (denverpost.com)

(62)

(Some Eddie)

Iron Maiden announce the title of their new album. And reveal they are going on tour in North America  (nme.com)

(76)

(Prefix Mag)		The Melvins to release new album and go on tour, which is excting news for the dozens of fans still listening to grunge    (prefixmag.com)	(48)
		Brtiain's MI5 monitored Hitler Youth cycling tour of England in 1937, despite their agent falling off near Budleigh Salterton when the pump caught in his trouser-leg, badly crushing sandwiches and getting grit all over his fruitcake  (timesonline.co.uk)	(74)
		Last year 2.4 million fewer tourists visited the US, which cost $509 billion. In related news, tourism in the US brings in an average of $212,000 per person. Still no cure for journalists who can't do math  (news.yahoo.com)	(179)

		Because young adults are noted for following the advice of authority figures, Texas police decide to promote tourism to Mexico  (cnn.com)	(80)
		Six armed gunmen go all in, rob Berlin poker tournament on live TV  (youtube.com)	(67)

(stopinternets)

Hey you, Roger Waters gearing up for "The Wall" tour 2010. We're gonna' find out where you fans really stand  (stopinternets.com)

(45)

		Public Image Ltd to tour US for first time in 18 years. Anger is an energy, or at least a good cash cow  (starpulse.com)	(27)
		A virtual tour of the Hollywood Walk of fame. Hello Lizabeth Scott  (projects.latimes.com)	(8)
		Waka Flocka Flame gets involved in a fight with members of Young Jeezy's and Gucci Mane's entourages...you know what, you people need to get some normal f*cking names  (contactmusic.com)	(36)
		Tour bus crashes south of Phoenix. The dead are expected to rise within the day    (hosted.ap.org)	(90)
		Simon & Garfunkel to launch "Retirement is Expensive" tour  (starpulse.com)	(30)

(Some Unhip Hipsters)		Cry "Havoc" and let slip the hipsters of mediocrity; Flight of the Conchords announce UK, Irish tour  (spinner.com)	(55)
		Sarah Palin, hater of the liberal Hollywood elite, and her entourage described as "like locusts" when they descended on the Oscar gifting suite  (eonline.com)	(165)
(Some Guy)		Judge orders satirical news Web site to remove a fictional story about a giraffe killing a tourist because it scared Louisianans away from the zoo  (2theadvocate.com)	(116)
		It's almost that time again. Sign up for 2010 Fark NCAA Tournament Pick'em. Search on Fark, no pw necessary. Duke sucks  (games.espn.go.com)	(57)

(Some Guy)

Huey Lewis and the News may no longer be working for a living as professional musicians after they cancel their Australian tour. If this is it, it will surely crush the heart and soul of their fans  (heraldsun.com.au)

(60)

		Toyota kicks off the European leg of its "Sorry We Tried to Kill You" tour  (breitbart.com)	(11)
		This is what you get for beating us in hockey: "Glee" concert tour won't stop in Canada  (jam.canoe.ca)	(80)

Bon Jovi will visit homeless shelters on their upcoming tour. Never before has a band gone to such great lengths to reach its fanbase    (contactmusic.com)

(18)

Thom Yorke and Flea's new supergroup has a name, tour dates. (video goodness)  (npr.org)

(25)

(Some Golfer)		Not news: A bunch of white guys are coming to the Augusta area for the Masters Tournament. Fark: It's the KKK  (chronicle.augusta.com)	(154)
(Some Cutter)		The best news you'll read today: Echo & The Bunnymen are going on a US tour after playing Coachella  (slicingupeyeballs.com)	(24)
(NCAA)		The NCAA makes up for all their stupid sanctions by giving us this glorious thing - EVERY NCAA Tournament game from the Sweet 16 on in the past decade. Subby will see you in May  (vault.ncaa.com)	(40)

Alice Cooper and Rob Zombie to team up for "Gruesome Twosome" tour and to let fans decide who now looks the most pathetic on stage  (starpulse.com)

(61)

When cheating on your famous girlfriend, make sure you don't leave your mistress at home alone with a video camera so she can post a video tour of your house on YouTube  (celebslam.celebuzz.com)

(27)

(Some Droog)		David Ellefson, original bassist for Megadeth, rejoins band for 20th Anniversary tour of "Rust in Peace"  (megadeth.com)	(76)
		Bad Lieutenant, the band formed from the ashes of New Order (minus the dickish and pompous Peter Hook) have finally gotten their visas and will tour America later this year  (contactmusic.com)	(32)

(Zadan)

Google Russia creates virtual tour of Trans-Siberian railway journey  (zadan.nl)

(13)

Arctic Monkeys announce new single, tour. If only anyone knew who the hell they were  (pastemagazine.com)

(25)

If an Awesome singularity merged with a Do Want singularity, this might be the result. Only way for it to get better would be having the Doctor as your tour guide (video)  (blogs.news.com.au)

(32)

Tourists trapped 124 stories above ground in world's tallest tower. It sounds like they'll have Dubai new underwear  (thesun.co.uk)

(62)

		For first time in history of 64-team NCAA tournament, a "power conference" is so pathetic it will only send one team to March Madness  (blogs.mercurynews.com)	(25)
(Some Guy)		Howard Jones of KSE takes a break mid tour. Unsure if he will return  (metalhammer.co.uk)	(36)

(Spinner)		Gaslight Anthem announce details of their third CD and a string of UK tour dates. If you haven't heard these guys, you really should  (spinner.com)	(41)
		7 minute HD video tour of the international space station. Where's the F'n Cool tab?  (youtube.com)	(106)

Spitzer madam Kristin Davis plans run for NY governor - with backing of creepy GOP strategist Roger Stone, California pot growers, 50 Cent's entourage, and four Penthouse Pets to take petition signatures  (nydailynews.com)

(37)

Fans believe it isn't fair that AC/DC plays the same setlist at every stop on their new tour. Honestly, though...how can they tell the difference?  (contactmusic.com)

(48)

		Scientists find Neanderthal teeth in Poland, presumably from prehistoric British tourists  (iol.co.za)	(48)
(The Rock Radio)		Europe to launch UK tour. No word yet as to whether or not a certain crappy but endearing cover band will be their opening act  (therockradio.com)	(20)

		PGA Tour nobody Scott McCarron backtracks on Mickelson criticism, saying he never called Phil a "cheater" but that he was "cheating." Oh, now I get it  (sports.espn.go.com)	(40)
(azfamily.com)		Sheriff Joe Arpaio is unamused that somebody posted a map to his home and a satellite picture of the property on an anti-Arpaio Facebook page. "I don't think they're selling tours to my house."  (azfamily.com)	(368)

		Pat Metheny to go on an international tour with his robot jazz band ....wait, what?  (wired.com)	(12)
		1400 people airlifted from Machu Picchu after flooding cuts off all access. Tourists say flight over ruins was "more than we bargained for." Over Machu Picchu? "No...I don't think I'll ever get over Machu Picchu"  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(162)

The best 'dead' websites: PC World takes a tour through the Super Information Graveyard  (pcworld.idg.com.au)

(135)

While you were watching football, Kelly Kulick became the first female to win a PBA tour title  (msn.foxsports.com)

(45)

		China fines lip-synching singers $12,000. Ashlee Simpson's tour plane does a 180 in mid-flight over the Pacific  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(37)
		Jean Simmons dead, plans for KISS rerereunion tour on hold  (latimes.com)	(77)

		Singapore, Beijing, Hong Kong and Tokyo breathe a sigh of relief as The Killers cancel their entire Asian tour  (gigwise.com)	(13)
		Loretta Lynn is preparing to go on the Lilith Fair Tour, outlive us all  (contactmusic.com)	(15)

This just in: Tourists can be really quite stupid  (news.com.au)

(151)

		Democratic Senate candidate Martha Coakley says she doesn't know why a member of her entourage knocked a reporter to the ground, as she was too busy attending a fundraiser put on by health care industry lobbyists  (news.bostonherald.com)	(64)
(asahi.com)		Boo the Ninja Pekinese Dog becomes tourist sensation in Kyoto by scrupulously following The Way of the Treat  (asahi.com)	(26)

Beyonce is taking a six month break from touring. Her ass, however, just won't quit    (contactmusic.com)

(14)

James Taylor, Carole King announce 40th anniversary reunion tour. In other news, only people more than 55 years old know who Carole King or James Taylor is  (abcnews.go.com)

(76)

2010 shaping up to be tough year for Tiger Woods impersonators who appear in commercials and charity golf tournaments  (cnbc.com)

(19)

		Jane's Addiction is not touring with Guns N' Roses this year. That's right, Axl Rose is too much for even Perry Farrell  (starpulse.com)	(44)
(Some Guy)		Two earthquakes rock the Solomon Islands, sign autographs with groupies, then get on their tour bus for the next gig  (themoneytimes.com)	(24)

		Bono thinks we need Chinese-style controls on the Internet to protect impoverished rock stars from the ravages of file-sharing  (cbc.ca)	(173)
		Jimmy Page: "The future of Led Zeppelin is in Robert Plant's hands." Robert Plant: "Actually it's a dulcimer that's in my hands and I'll be touring with Alison Krauss from now on."  (starpulse.com)	(48)

Elvis fanatic with no telephone becomes Mississippi town's biggest tourist draw with his home "Graceland Too." Just call the tourism board and they'll let him know you're stopping by  (hosted.ap.org)

(16)

		It holds 10 to 22 people, takes two-hour tours and contains 30 liters of beer: Welcome aboard the Amsterdam beer bike  (news.yahoo.com)	(68)
		Now Touring: Avenged Sixfold  (msnbc.msn.com)	(110)

(Some Guy)		LPGA golfer Helen Alfredsson says Tiger's cheating was golf's worst-kept secret, channels Master Yoda with this cryptic piece of wisdom: "In the quietest water swims the ugliest fish." What?  (blogs.golf.com)	(37)
		Serena wins AP Female Athlete of the Year 2009. Runner-up Zenyatta cannot believe that horse-faced ill-tempered tennis player won  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(41)

Auschwitz sign found, much to the relief of park officials, who may now open all rides and concessions just in time for the holiday tourist rush  (sfgate.com)

(123)

Executive in charge of Accenture Match Play Championship reiterates tourney's no-Tiger-no-refund policy to ticketholders. "We are hoping people are buying a ticket to an event and not an individual"  (azstarnet.com)

(32)

		Female veterans finding it difficult to find acceptance after combat tours. Come on guys, they've bled for this country more than anyone  (google.com)	(429)
		Brad Paisley inadvertently revealed that his tourmate Kellie Pickler had a boob job. Well, let's be honest, those would be the only two reasons anyone would attend one of their shows  (contactmusic.com)	(49)

		Jackson 4 set to tour. This is not from The Onion  (music.msn.com)	(25)
		Palin makes the final stops of her book tour Alaskan Air Force bases, where she will anxiously greet the nation's sailors  (miamiherald.com)	(74)

		Man spends $700,000 visiting every country in the world and comes back with some of the worst vacation photos ever. "Many of his snaps are taken in offices and in front of buildings instead of at top tourist sites"  (news.com.au)	(157)
		John Daly back on tour and half the man he used to be...with pic goodness  (sports.yahoo.com)	(37)

Jim Furyk wins the Tiger Woods tournament, but he may have cheated on the most important hole  (guardian.co.uk)

(21)

(Some Guy)		Cops catch two women in a motorhome with 14 pounds of pot and a pound of shrooms. Are Phish on tour again?  (mywebtimes.com)	(32)
		What better way to experience the cradle of the nation's gang culture than with a bus tour through South LA, complete with dance-offs, kids shooting water pistols at tourists, and "I Got Shot in South-Central" T-shirts  (latimes.com)	(39)

		16 years ago today, Frank Zappa embarked on his final tour. Here he is playing the Fark out of Black Napkins in '76. Miss you, Frank  (youtube.com)	(61)
		Great White begins Russian leg of new tour  (news.yahoo.com)	(69)
		NY's OTB files for bankruptcy. Was really hoping that trifecta in the seventh would bail them out  (nytimes.com)	(12)

		Oregon scientists work like crazy for 11 years, solve mystery of brain cell glutamate receptor structure. "I am not sure whether non-crystallographers can truly appreciate what an astonishing tour-de-force this is"  (oregonlive.com)	(65)
(NME)		Pete Doherty's band Babyshambles will release a new album and go on tour next year. World's heroin, cocaine, and meth producers ramp up production    (nme.com)	(9)
		Tiki-tour trail terminates in tree  (stuff.co.nz)	(18)

		Tiger adds "tournament" to list of things he shouldn't have pulled out of, which already includes "driveway" and "mistress"    (newsvote.bbc.co.uk)	(46)
		German tourist tells Disney World security that he had bombs in his backpack. Ha ha, just kidding  (hosted.ap.org)	(170)
(Some Guy)		Today's "1983 called, they want their awesome concert back" brought to you by news that Simple Minds and Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark have joined forces for an eight concert tour of England  (themusicfix.co.uk)	(34)

(Some Guy)

Take a tour of Target Field, Minnesota Twins' new stadium. Amenities include concession stands with walleye on a stick  (minnesota.publicradio.org)

(64)

Is Marv Albert confused by reports that he fought with 50 Cent and his entourage? YES  (contactmusic.com)

(14)

		White Lies say that the enjoyed touring with Kings of Leon more than they did with Coldplay, because "the Americans partied with us." It's like an auditory vortex of suck  (contactmusic.com)	(17)
(Some Guy)		If you were waiting for a behind-the-scenes tour of Kings Of Leon's stage setup, today is your lucky day  (guitarworld.com)	(22)
(WTVR)		Miley Cyrus' tour bus crashes in Virginia. Driver dead, no word on the condition of either Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana  (myfox8.com)	(348)