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Headlines matching 'term'
Fri February 10, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Neal Page) Asinine You're a female air traveler and there's no female TSA agent to screen you? No problem, there's a bus terminal across town. Buh-bye now  (kdvr.com) (228)


Thu February 09, 2012
(SFGate) Unlikely John Edwards spent $836,000 in 2011 on the primary campaign he dropped in 2008. Now that's determination  (sfgate.com) (12)


Wed February 08, 2012
(The Raw Story) Amusing Long-term impact of globalism? In the future, all U.S. legislation will include references to Monty Python skits  (rawstory.com) (62)


Tue February 07, 2012
(YouTube) Cool Die Antwoord on Letterman. Need I say more?  (youtube.com) (93)
(Joystiq) Asinine Blizzard's Battle-net bank opens with terms that would make BoA blush  (massively.joystiq.com) (183)


Mon February 06, 2012
(InfoWorld) Amusing Programmer personality types: Coding culture offers no shortage of character. Here are the specs for determining your developer breed  (infoworld.com) (70)


Sun February 05, 2012
(USA Today) Hero Obama: "I deserve a second term"  (content.usatoday.com) (356)
(Some Guy) Amusing Canadian police determine that certain astrological signs are more likely to be Aries-ted  (inquisitr.com) (49)


Sat February 04, 2012
(Courier-Journal) Dumbass You're a college basketball legend whose term in a statewide elected office just ended, do you (c) file for unemployment?  (courier-journal.com) (52)


Fri February 03, 2012
(Entertainment Weekly) Interesting Did David Letterman destroy Late Night?  (popwatch.ew.com) (47)


Thu February 02, 2012
(Slate) Stupid So, what happens if Obama wins a second term? "We will sentence [our children] to take the first step into 1,000 years of darkness." Welcome to Derpaggedon  (slate.com) (118)


Mon January 30, 2012
(Discover) Fail Scientists determine global warming caused by the Wall Street Journal's and Daily Mail's pants being on fire  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (460)
(NPR) Asinine Employees at new casino facing "term limits"  (npr.org) (148)


Fri January 27, 2012
(Den Of Geek) Cool The Terminator will be back, and it will be R-rated  (denofgeek.com) (52)


Thu January 26, 2012
(Some Guy) Dumbass In a shocking turn of events, public officials determine that God is a lousy babysitter  (citizensvoice.com) (16)


Wed January 25, 2012
(Pravda) Interesting World's largest cut emerald, shaped like watermelon, to fetch $2 million  (english.pravda.ru) (22)


Tue January 24, 2012
(Some Guy) Dumbass Criminal mastermind uses stolen welfare benefits card to purchase $64 worth of soda to get almost $11 in return from the automated can-recycling machine, which she also broke  (itemlive.com) (63)
(WLSAM) Obvious Dear Mr. President, in your SOTU speech this evening, I suggest you avoid talking about your first term in office. It won't do you a damn bit of good. Sincerely, Rahm  (wlsam.com) (68)


Mon January 23, 2012
(Herald Tribune) Florida Why does first-term (R) Rep. Ben Albritton, a citrus grower from Wauchula and recent chairman of the Florida Citrus Commission hate photography?  (heraldtribune.com) (59)


Fri January 20, 2012
(American Thinker) Sad Until the media stops obsessing over the infidelities of the GOP candidates and starts doing its job, Barack Obama's chances of a second term continue to scare the living daylights out of those who understand its implications  (americanthinker.com) (200)


Tue January 17, 2012
(ESPN) Stupid Arsenal spot talent in their star striker Robin Van Persie's 5 year old son, attempt to sign him to a long term contract. No, seriously  (soccernet.espn.go.com) (23)


Wed January 11, 2012
(StrangeBeaver) Sick These Japanese girls take a far too literal approach to the term "Slobbing the knob" (SFW)  (strangebeaver.com) (91)
(NPR) Amusing In the history of Nerd fights there are the greats like Star Trek vs. Star Wars. TNG vs TOS. Now a challenger appears: crossword nerds argue over the defintions of hip hop slang terms. That's wack yo  (npr.org) (23)
(Cracked) Ironic Six horrific aftermaths implied by movies with happy endings  (cracked.com) (215)
(New York Daily News) Stupid Having solved all the city's problems and determined to crush southern California's last remaining thriving business, LA City Council votes 11-1 to require condoms in porn productions  (nydailynews.com) (84)
(BBC) Followup Bangladesh 'war crimes mastermind' arrested, taunted with food  (bbc.co.uk) (7)


Tue January 10, 2012
(CNBC) Fail WebMD terminal  (cnbc.com) (10)
(Fox Business) Interesting Ten key tax terms to know. No, "avoision" isn't on the list, even though it's a perfectly cromulent word  (foxbusiness.com) (12)


Mon January 09, 2012
(The Blemish) Unlikely Christina Aguilera comes to terms with her gravitational field  (theblemish.com) (86)


Sun January 08, 2012
(Daily Mail) Cool Tina Fey's post-pregnancy workout now includes smashing cars on the Letterman show  (dailymail.co.uk) (39)


Thu January 05, 2012
(Fox Sports) Interesting The success of the Packers and Patriots in the playoffs will once and for all determine whether or not "defense wins championships" is a myth  (msn.foxsports.com) (113)
(Houston Press) Interesting For cold and flu season, a food critic determines which cough syrups taste best and which taste the most like liquid death  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (123)


Sun January 01, 2012
(Norwich Bulletin) Interesting Connecticut's casinos will go bankrupt this year unless lenders agree to refinance $800 million in short term debt  (norwichbulletin.com) (86)


Fri December 30, 2011
(The Blaze) Asinine Selfless Philadelphia city councilwoman retires for one day to pocket $478,057, then will be sworn in for a seventh term on Monday. What would America do without these underpaid bureaucrats working on our behalf?  (theblaze.com) (161)


Wed December 28, 2011
(Marketwatch) Obvious Dollar gains. In comedic terms, it's somewhere between Carlos Mencia and Dane Cook  (marketwatch.com) (18)


Tue December 27, 2011
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Could Maria Shriver be thinking of terminating the divorce, or does she still think Arnold is a barbarian who gave her a raw deal?  (dailymail.co.uk) (33)


Sat December 24, 2011
(Some Guy) Hero Family of terminally ill 11 year old requests a few emergency vehicles drive by his house. Within 24 hours, 100 emergency vehicles give this young man an awesome farewell. Merry Christmas everyone. I'm gonna hug my kids  (firetruckblog.com) (206)


Fri December 23, 2011
(News.com.au) Scary Brigitte Nielsen hospitalized due to long-term effects of "Rocky IV"  (news.com.au) (54)


Thu December 22, 2011
(Telegraph) Obvious Matt Damon dismisses Barack Obama as 'one-term President'  (telegraph.co.uk) (323)


Wed December 21, 2011
(Some Guy) Strange It's one thing to be the criminal mastermind behind the thefts of all the Baby Jesus' from outdoor nativity scenes in your town. But do you have to put the remaining figures left behind in sexually suggestive positions as well?  (peninsuladailynews.com) (72)


Mon December 19, 2011
(CNN) Interesting Young evangelicals leaving the church in record numbers. "They don't appreciate being condemned for living with a partner, straight or gay, outside of marriage or opting for abortion to terminate an unplanned pregnancy"  (cnn.com) (327)


Sun December 18, 2011
(Salon) Obvious In terms of pop culture, 2011 was really just 1991 with more tattoos and less substance  (salon.com) (89)


Sat December 17, 2011
(USA Today) Interesting Former Ark./USC QB Mitch Mustain's Mom to meet with the Commandant of the Marine Corps to determine if her son's "no-huddle spread offense" is a good fit for the Marines' "Locate, Close With, and Destroy" offense  (usatoday.com) (20)
(Some Guy) Obvious Most Americans think Obama doesn't deserve second term. "Unemployment wasn't the change we were hoping for"  (king5.com) (159)


Fri December 16, 2011
(Deadline) Cool B-movie king Roger Corman is still going strong, putting out movies that will rival Sharktopus in terms of quality  (deadline.com) (37)


Thu December 15, 2011
(Townhall) Obvious Democrats didn't improve anything and nothing has been made better. According to President Obama's own standard, and contrary to what he said on "60 Minutes," he does not deserve a second term  (townhall.com) (121)
(Chicago Tribune) Obvious Is the GOP handing Obama another term?  (chicagotribune.com) (144)


Tue December 13, 2011
(Yahoo) Scary Two students were shot and wounded outside Texas middle school. Police suspect nearby hunters but have not determined if they have the correct license for teens  (news.yahoo.com) (151)
(LA Times) Fail Kentucky educator complains biology test omits creation theory -- proving that the term 'educator' carries a broad definition in Kentucky  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (464)


Sun December 11, 2011
(ABC) Ironic Chuck Schumer thinks that all the TSA needs to fix itself is a "passenger advocate," position to be filled by the agency that's needing help determining "right" from "wrong" in the first place  (abcnews.go.com) (98)


Tue December 06, 2011
(UPI) Interesting Study shows the potato chip you choose Lays the groundwork for determining your social status  (upi.com) (120)
(Bloomberg) Obvious After 540 days, it has been determined that Belgium is approximately two halves of a whole country  (bloomberg.com) (67)
(WorldNetDaily) Interesting In the Bible, a man named Barak was supposed to lead the Israelites to fight the Canaanites. But Barak wimped out, so Deborah stepped up and led the charge. In present day terms, Deborah is Michele Bachmann, and Barak is, obviously, Taxbongo  (wnd.com) (78)
(Slate) Asinine In Virginia, the first day of school is determined by: a) Your local school board, b) the school's principal, c) the PTA, or d) the state's theme park industry?  (slate.com) (93)
(Some Guy) Obvious Suspicious item found at San Diego baseball park; authorities determine the item to be a winning season  (10news.com) (15)


Sat December 03, 2011
(The Local (Sweden)) Asinine Man who lost both legs denied wheelchair until council can determine if his condition is permanent. That's quite a stumper  (thelocal.se) (79)


Fri December 02, 2011
(Short List) Unlikely Yahoo announces 2011's most searched term and it's not Google  (shortlist.com) (37)


Thu December 01, 2011
(AP) Unlikely Obama: 'I'm going to need another term to finish the job'  (hosted.ap.org) (278)
(Guardian) Asinine Median income continues to plummet in real terms. Eeeeeexcellent  (guardian.co.uk) (22)
(Wired) Interesting Research has developed an algorithim to determine whether a car is about to run a red light. Yellow lights & increase of speed surprisingly absent  (wired.com) (17)
(The Sun) Strange Couple who graduated from the Acme School of Rodent Extermination create nearly $10,000 in damages trying to catch a rat they never found  (thesun.co.uk) (86)


Wed November 30, 2011
(CBS News) Interesting Why do women fake orgasms? Long term study comes to a surprising climax  (cbsnews.com) (285)


Tue November 29, 2011
(Yahoo) Sad Survey lists world's Top 10 cities in terms of "Quality of Living." Zero in the U.S., 1 in America Jr., 1 in Australia's own Canada, 1 where they make porn, and 7 in places where they talk like the villians in old WWII movies  (shine.yahoo.com) (274)


Sun November 27, 2011
(NYPost) Sad Body found in water off Battery Park City. I'm afraid it's terminal  (nypost.com) (50)


Sat November 26, 2011
(Spokesman.com) Followup Twenty years later, lawyer determines Ronald Reagan was not criminally liable in the Iran-Contra affair  (spokesman.com) (105)


Fri November 25, 2011
(The Local (Sweden)) Dumbass 'Electro-oversensitive' man in mobile phone blackout threat. In related news 'Electro-oversensitive' is the new PC term for 'nutjob'  (thelocal.se) (42)
(NPR) Interesting Scientists determine why flies like beer. Possibly not for the same reasons you do  (npr.org) (11)
(Bloomberg) Scary Air France brings the term "Getting Screwed" to a new level  (bloomberg.com) (65)


Wed November 23, 2011
(Oregon Live) Hero Oregon governor imposes moratorium on death penalty for remainder of his term. Still no cure for spending life in Oregon  (oregonlive.com) (168)


Tue November 22, 2011
(Reuters) Obvious Reuters has done a careful analysis and has determined that we're not at war with Iran  (reuters.com) (42)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Computerized contact lenses will keep you up-to-date with news and texts, and tell you when to TERMINATE  (dailymail.co.uk) (36)


Mon November 21, 2011
(Some Hot Blonde with Normal Eyes) Sad What is it with Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants and their inability to maintain long-term relationships?  (digitalspy.com) (34)


Sun November 20, 2011
(Yahoo) Spiffy With the Chase down to two drivers - Carl Edwards and Tony Stewart - loyalties could determine the 2011 Cup champion. It's the Ford 400 from sunny Homestead-Miami Speedway, 3:30 ET, ABC  (sports.yahoo.com) (lots)


Sat November 19, 2011
(KTLA) Amusing In case you were wondering what the aftermath of a Fark Party looks like (slideshow, some possibly Not safe for work)  (ktla.com) (79)


Fri November 18, 2011
(Wired) Silly The number of sips in a glass of beer is determined by physics, fraternity pledge hazing rituals  (wired.com) (8)
(Discover) Amusing Playing Trauma Center could actually determine your ability to work in a trauma center  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (15)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Regis Philbin get on back of scooter with David Letterman, immediately falls off and has to be helped up. Then things get weird. (with pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (16)


Tue November 15, 2011
(Some Guy) Scary Virginia man is determined not to be browbeaten into copping to sexual assault charges, insisting the whole story is cockeyemamie. (w/ pic that demands admittance into the Fark mugshot pantheon)  (wtvr.com) (54)


Mon November 14, 2011
(Dayton Daily News) Followup Remember when Ohio drove those predatory payday lenders out of business? That market segment is now being served by "legitimate" banks, who offer short-term loans with 120 - 300% APRs  (daytondailynews.com) (105)
(The New York Times) News Supreme Court to determine whether Alexander Hamilton would have wanted to join an HMO  (nytimes.com) (266)


Thu November 10, 2011
(YouTube) Video A stupid pet trick you will NOT see on Letterman  (youtube.com) (31)


Wed November 09, 2011
(Telegraph) Interesting New test to determine if the cat is dead or alive. Here comes the physics  (telegraph.co.uk) (23)


Tue November 08, 2011
(Talking Points Memo) PSA Today, Mississippi votes to determine whether or not to outlaw birth control and remove birth rights from all women   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (143)


Mon November 07, 2011
(STLToday) Unlikely "Our Legislature is dysfunctional, the best way to improve it is to remove term limits on the dysfunctional legislators"  (stltoday.com) (113)
(TwinCities.com) Amusing Today's "undetermined number of the men grappling in a pile had to be subdued by stun guns" story brought to you by Mankato, Minnesota  (twincities.com) (32)
(Some Guy) Silly A helpful guide to determine if you should hate Mormons or not  (westword.com) (165)
(Reuters) Followup 400-meter-wide asteroid to now pass only 200,000 miles from the Earth. Or in NASA terms, a direct hit  (reuters.com) (24)


Fri November 04, 2011
(Washington Post) Sad College students rely on Yahoo Answers for research, which explains why so many term papers address "How is babby formed?"  (washingtonpost.com) (213)
(Celebitchy) Dumbass Kim Kardashian's mom in heap big trouble for using the term "Indian giver"  (celebitchy.com) (130)


Thu November 03, 2011
(Gizmodo) Amusing PlayStation controllers might feature biometric sensors that would determine how stressed you are. If they ever make Battletoads for the PlayStation 3, those sensors would have a full-on meltdown  (gizmodo.com) (52)
(Starpulse) Followup Judge orders Lindsay Lohan to finish her Playboy photo shoot before reporting to jail to begin her 30 day sentence  (starpulse.com) (66)


Wed November 02, 2011
(Some Guy) Florida Gov. Rick Scott has apparently never heard of Tampa Bay. "No he was not joking. He seemed to be a little bit unfamiliar with the term"  (wtsp.com) (133)
(Fark) FarkBlog German automaker approves Third Peich term, all abhorred by Amtrak flasher, and bipolar man sought between Arctic and Antarctic: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/23 - 10/29  (fark.com) (5)


Sat October 29, 2011
(WTOP) Scary "Mastermind" behind Jersey Shore to start another show featuring unethical, fakely tanned, drug addicted, sexual deviants  (wtop.com) (32)


Wed October 26, 2011
(Bloomberg) Interesting For leading VW to world's top automaker position, VW board approves Third Peich term  (bloomberg.com) (17)


Tue October 25, 2011
(Gawker) Video Salma Hayek and two very special guests bounce their way onto Letterman  (gawker.com) (116)


Sat October 22, 2011
(Boing Boing) Obvious In light of [REDACTED] Wall Street, Chinese web censors block terms related to the word [REDACTED]  (boingboing.net) (98)


Fri October 21, 2011
(Some Guy) Dumbass If your house is "infested with demons" call an exterminator or an exorcist or an exorcisterminator, whatever, just don't kidnap your roommate's children  (bellinghamherald.com) (33)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Interesting Minneapolis police investigate fraud claims at Roto-Rooter. Determined officers vow they'll get to the bottom of this shiat  (startribune.com) (21)
(Huffington Post) Interesting Leftist Apple fanboys' heads asplode as Steve Jobs is revealed as having advised Obama he was headed for a one-term presidency unless he stopped shiatting on business and busted the teachers' unions  (huffingtonpost.com) (277)


Thu October 20, 2011
(Click On Detroit) Scary "Organic" eggs extra organic in terms of salmonella, so they're being recalled  (clickondetroit.com) (99)


Wed October 19, 2011
(Some Guy) Fail Dear Customer, Thank you for quietly notifying us of a glaring security flaw in our website. Please accept this complimentary gift basket containing a police visit, blame for the issue, a bill for fixing it and termination of your account  (techdirt.com) (86)


Tue October 18, 2011
(NPR) Obvious NPR ombudsman hired by NPR determines NPR was not showing liberal bias when they claimed that the lying, cheating, and unethical Rupert Murdoch lies, cheats, and is unethical  (npr.org) (155)


Sun October 16, 2011
(Daily Mail) Cool Best job ever: determining the ideal breast shape by examining Page 3 girls. With a rather Not Safe For Work illustration of the perfect breastastic geometry  (dailymail.co.uk) (439)
(YouTube) Followup Remember that chick on the horse who saved a kid from a grizzly bear? She was on Letterman and, yes, you would  (youtube.com) (35)


Sat October 15, 2011
(Some Guy) Asinine "Father' and 'mother' will be replaced with official terms Parent 1 and Parent 2 in Britain. Nanny State now officially "Primary Caregiver" state  (eutimes.net) (77)

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