Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Three students at a D.C. elementary school have been diagnosed with scarlet fever. In other news, we still have scarlet fever  (myfoxdc.com)	(164)

Good news for students: You voted for Obama, and now he's taking your student aid to pay for ObamaCare for old people  (insidehighered.com)

(56)

Protip: When special ed students start giving up on your school district, you just might have a problem  (chicagotribune.com)

(35)

		RE: Female teachers doing their students - "They may be having a transitional crisis in their lives and welcome the admiration of a student who essentially puts them on a pedestal" (and then drills them mercilessly)  (cnn.com)	(110)
		Principal refuses to back high school students petitioning to get President Obama to speak at their graduation because he worried about student safety and parent complaints  (azcentral.com)	(65)

		Thieves steal beloved hamster from school for children with autism. Students describe hamster as 18.375 cm long, weighs 197.901 grams, eats 10.34 grams of sunflower seeds per day, and has 15,728 hairs on its body    (nydailynews.com)	(95)
		Schoolboard member under fire for calling a small group of chronically disruptive students 'hoodlums.' "They might be disruptive. They might be in gangs. They might be many things, but they are not hoodlums."  (tampabay.com)	(260)
		Students with conservative religious and political views are more inclined to think the Earth is less than 2000 years old and to know less about evolution  (sciencedaily.com)	(277)
(Some Guy)		Student suspended from school for saying no to drugs. Wait, what?  (scienceblogs.com)	(177)
		A Mississippi high school takes the occasion of a lesbian student wanting to attend prom with her girlfriend and wear a tuxedo as a chance to teach everyone a lesson on tolerance. Nah, just kidding, they cancelled the whole damn thing  (news.yahoo.com)	(444)

		Cool: Teacher gives classroom full of students a lesson in structural integrity. Not so cool: she was driving her jeep at the time  (freep.com)	(28)
		Today's female teacher arrested for having sex with student brought to you by sunny Burbank, California (w/you know you'd hit that pic)  (nbclosangeles.com)	(111)

Not news: school costs six times more than the top college in the country. News: the school turns out students that are still functionally illiterate. Fark: it's kindergarten  (abcnews.go.com)

(73)

Three college kids steal stuffed gorilla from museum, take pictures of it in wigs, then return it. They finally come forward, 54 years later  (news.yahoo.com)

(20)

(Grand Rapids News)

Nanny state strikes again. Kindergartener suspended from school for making his fingers into the shape of a gun and pointing it at another student  (mlive.com)

(315)

		News: Three LA teachers get suspended. Fark: for giving students pictures of O.J. Simpson, Dennis Rodman and RuPaul to carry in Black History Month parade  (abcnews.go.com)	(241)
(Some Guy)		Study shows what you long suspected: multitaskers are just screwing up several things at once  (chronicle.com)	(137)

(Winnipeg Free Press)		Punishment pending in the lapdancing teacher incident. Fark: To the students who recorded it  (winnipegfreepress.com)	(106)
		Should I not have threatened to kill students and co-workers? Was that wrong?  (poconorecord.com)	(90)

Drink and we'll tell your parents. Colleges reporting students to their parents if they're found with so much as a beer in the dorm  (sfgate.com)

(214)

(We're naughty daily)

Parents angry at High School that forced students to take a sex survey and reported the results in the school paper. Bonus: School paper is the "Cougar Press". Giggity  (wnd.com)

(59)

If two high schoolers are fighting in your classroom, don't grab the little bastards by the neck, because they hate that  (baltimoresun.com)

(164)

Students think their "lap dance teachers" didn't do anything wrong and shouldn't be punished, and that in return for this support, they shouldn't ever get homework again  (cnews.canoe.ca)

(69)

(Some Guy)		A great technical look into how the Lower Merion School District spied on its students  (strydehax.blogspot.com)	(86)
		Man who lost hand in train accident two weeks ago is apparently a slow learner as he gets hit by train...again  (latimes.com)	(48)

(wpbf.com)		Mom: Forget your lunch, go hungry. School: Not so fast  (wpbf.com)	(482)
		MBA student emails professor to complain about lateness policy. Win ensues  (deadspin.com)	(618)

(mediasteed.com)

Students survive after their classroom capsizes  (mediasteed.com)

(34)

Male teacher arrested for having sex with 15-year-old female student. Since the gender roles are reversed this time, everyone act outraged  (seattlepi.com)

(203)

In Iowa City, putting on a shirt and claiming to be an employee to get a key in order to steal food is an "elaborate scheme"  (press-citizen.com)

(26)

Not news: School issues laptops complete with webcams to students. Fark: School then activates webcams to spy on students and their families  (boingboing.net)

(410)

		Judge rules that idiot kid's online rant is protected by the First Amendment. Youtube-commenters rejoice  (miamiherald.com)	(126)
		Schools forcing students to sign contracts to attend dances to prevent "grinding". Promote the program with the slogan "Dance like Grandma's watching"  (msnbc.msn.com)	(262)

Students suspended after fight, do their parents - C: Sue the school system for denying their precious snowflakes an education?  (newsobserver.com)

(120)

(sportpost.com)

1200 students who weren't good enough for the football, basketball, hockey or even soccer team play in the world's biggest dodgeball game  (sportpost.com)

(24)

Nanny State bans school students from exchanging Valentine's Day cards  (news.com.au)

(55)

TSA couldn't manage to stop the underwear bomber despite all the warnings, but that white college student with Arabic flash cards and suspiciously short hair, yeah, they arrested him  (philly.com)

(227)

Two fourth-grade teachers help students cope with stress from testing by handing out pill bottles filled with little mint candies. Hilarity ensues  (www2.tbo.com)

(139)

(Waterloo Courier)

School confiscates student-run school newspaper because of an article questioning treatment of students, saying it "violated student confidentiality" by showing how atheletes got preferential treatment over everyone else  (wcfcourier.com)

(233)

Tenured Econ Prof confronts FBI Informant for creating a cabal of students on campus oriented toward violence. Professor is suspended with pay and everybody lawyers up. Then things get weird  (oregonlive.com)

(276)

		Many scholars think much of what is recorded in the Bible is at best distorted, and some characters and events are probably totally fictional including Abraham, Isaac and Jacob  (time.com)	(100)
(Some Guy)		Students protest fees, get arrested. Students protest arrests, get arrested. Students hold fund-raiser for lawyers, get... well you can see where this is going  (socialistworker.org)	(127)

College student's cunning plan for a threesome on Beaver Street goes horribly wrong  (wbztv.com)

(98)

50 years after four African-American students sat down at a segregated lunch counter in a Greensboro, North Carolina Woolworth's store, one question remains. What's a Woolworth?  (myfoxdc.com)

(265)

(Some Guy)

Betty Crocker looking for new Hamburger Helper mascot as the previous one was evidently killed near the U.S.\Mexico border  (wfaa.com)

(127)

(AaronHoos.com)		If social networking sites were college students, most of them would basically suck and the really popular ones you just want to punch in the face  (aaronhoos.com)	(38)
		Government wants to make sure young students are taught about all faiths, including the ones where plants have souls and the dead must be eaten by vultures  (dailymail.co.uk)	(56)

"While you are under anesthesia, a group of medical students parades into the operating room and perform gynecological exams without your knowledge." a) Bad dream b) Porn plot c) Canadian socialized medicine  (theglobeandmail.com)

(292)

		Manchester School District has decided only "economically disadvantaged students" will be allowed to go on holiday field trips to Safari parks and football games. Suck it rich kids  (dailymail.co.uk)	(191)
		High school officials vow to fight suggestive dancing by videotaping offending students. Giggity  (thesmokinggun.com)	(113)

Swedish students occupy brewery as part of a series of demonstrations aimed at convincing management to build a beer pipeline to their university  (thelocal.se)

(37)

(Some Guy)		Teacher jailed for providing tequila to students. With "It would take a whole lotta tequila" pic  (coloradoan.com)	(90)
		College puts orange stickers on known party houses. Supposedly this is supposed to shame and embarass the students who live there  (thebostonchannel.com)	(140)

(Some Nanny State)

Manitoba government tells teachers they can no longer penalize students for turning work in late. Good thing there are no such things as deadlines in the real world  (leaderpost.com)

(116)

(Korea Times)

South Korean math teacher becomes legendary for profanely berating at-risk students, whacking them with shovels, and eliciting high grades. "If it were in the U.S., he would be probably in jail for doing so. But yeah, it's Korea"  (koreatimes.co.kr)

(63)

(Some happy happy guy)		"Ren & Stimpy" creator replies to 14-year-old fan with awesome 8 page letter  (torontoist.com)	(53)
		Beverly Hills is going to kick non-resident, or so-called "permit students" in kindergarden through 8th grade students out of their schools. Some people seem to have a problem with this  (news.yahoo.com)	(159)

School district thinks 24-year-old teacher's aide should resign because she has lost her credibility now that students have seen her naked....wait, what?  (abclocal.go.com)

(231)

(Some Guy)

Honor student's sexting message reaches about half her school's 1,300 students, promises to try harder next semester  (wbbm780.com)

(210)

Business school decides to make a stop-motion video to express their values. Like most business school students, they fail to convey their message but make something interesting anyway  (liveleak.com)

(12)

(abc15.com)

Teacher takes students choiring, then treats them to lunch at Hooters, which leads to her early retirement. Busted  (abc15.com)

(221)

(Manchester Union-Leader)

Six students arrested in brawl with police at a Manchester, NH college. Come for the story, stay for the incredible flame war in the reader comments  (unionleader.com)

(250)

Over 65 researchers and medical students confirm that removing a Band-Aid quickly is less painful than removing one slowly. Still no cure for cancer  (abc.net.au)

(59)

Being a teacher is a thankless, difficult job. But being a teacher who teaches college students that want to be teachers is even worse  (press-citizen.com)

(143)

Nanny State sending specially-trained counter-terrorism police into kindergartens to monitor students as young as four for evidence of brainwashing or extremist sympathies. Seriously  (telegraph.co.uk)

(102)

Nanny State admits that it has a policy of not encouraging bright students in school because it makes them think they're smarter than other people and that's "elitism"  (dailymail.co.uk)

(257)

(Wired.co.uk)

Remote-controlled levitation  (wired.co.uk)

(16)

		Bottoms up for Sweden as bishop blasts pastor over anal sex outburst  (thelocal.se)	(61)
		Two hot teachers didn't get the memo about having sex with students, are suspended from their jobs for sex... with each other. (Pics)  (nydailynews.com)	(532)

University of Alabama cancels classes for three days so faculty/staff and students can travel to Pasedena for the BCS Title Game. Florida cancels classes because someone needs a hug  (espn.go.com)

(178)

(Worcester News)

Blind foreign exchange students celebrate 20 years of coming to Worcester, or so they've been led to believe  (worcesternews.co.uk)

(47)

(Augusta Chronicle)

Teacher did not inappropriately touch students. In other news, students will lie about lots of things  (chronicle.augusta.com)

(126)

		College student achieves dream of sitting around and eating pizza for the rest of her life  (guardian.co.uk)	(461)
		"I want to trace your thighs with my fingertips and make you squirm" is not a proper thing to write in an anonymous letter left in the locker of one of your female band students, sir  (thesmokinggun.com)	(186)
		Cambridge university students scale college chapel to place Santa hats on all four spires, violating any number of elf and safety rules  (telegraph.co.uk)	(20)

(Some Meeper)		Hero: Danvers HS students want to sell "Free Meep" shirts to raise money for scholarship. Asinine: Principal still says this is "inappropriate and unacceptable"  (salemnews.com)	(210)
		British town starts wrapping its lightposts up in thick wool sweaters so drunken students don't hurt themselves when they walk into them (pic)  (news.scotsman.com)	(38)

Students angry over dress code stage a protest, learn the school can in fact suspend all 1,500 of them  (ajc.com)

(362)

(Some Guy)

School board won't allow students to wear anti-Islam t-shirts. ACLU vows legal jihad on their behalf  (wptv.com)

(168)

		Why are college football coaches in public universities allowed to indoctrinate students into Christianity?  (tampabay.com)	(130)
(Tribune-Review)		Pittsburgh plans to tax college students, wants them to pay fair share  (pittsburghlive.com)	(186)
(Some Guy)		University bars 30+ students from graduating due to their obesity. This headline would have been funnier, but I'm busy trying to explain to my parents why I won't be getting my degree in Communications  (thedailybeast.com)	(153)

		Liberal college students arrested for protesting against liberal colleges for raising tuition due to liberal policies. Oh the humanities    (cnn.com)	(342)
(Some Guy)		Man claims his friends got drunk and cut off his electronic monitoring device. Or maybe some students attacked him and cut it off. He can't decide  (leaderlive.co.uk)	(6)

		"In addition, employees and students spent an unexpectedly large amount of time visiting websites featuring pornography"  (thelocal.se)	(39)
		A pack of great looking female Montreal law students. Incidentally, a pretty good lipdub to The Offspring's Pretty Fly  (youtube.com)	(40)