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Headlines matching 'spa'
Mon May 28, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Deadspin) Cool Finally, someone sings the Star Spangled Banner at a baseball game carefully, slowly, without vocal inflections, gymnastic melodic lines and theater gestures. Thank you ... Bob Saget?  (deadspin.com) (51)


Sat May 26, 2012
(ABC) Asinine What happens when a precious little snowflake get his JD and goes to work on Wall Street? He sues his health spa for $500k for not receiving his "full complimentary breakfast"  (abcnews.go.com) (86)
(The Media Blog) Amusing Today's utterly OMFG newspaper front page brought to you by the Liverpool Echo  (themediablog.typepad.com) (72)


Fri May 25, 2012
(Discover) Interesting The Earth-shaving asteroid 2012 KP24 is here to remind you why easy access to space is good  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (39)
(Marketwatch) Asinine What's Wall Street going to ruin next? Funding for commercial space travel  (marketwatch.com) (19)
(io9) Cool Scientists believe a new sensory organ they have discovered in whales shows how they are like "mammals from space". Still no transparent aluminum  (io9.com) (28)
(Some Guy) Cool Live coverage of the demonstration flight of SpaceX's Dragon spacecraft to the International Space Station. Currently holding at 150 meters from the ISS  (spaceflightnow.com) (201)
(YouTube) Video Got an hour and a half to kill? Want to hear Star Wars as performed be Jake the Dog, Pinky and the Brain, Philip J. Fry, Batman and Twilight Sparkle?  (youtube.com) (49)


Thu May 24, 2012
(Talking Points Memo) Obvious Mitt Romney speaks to a group of Hispanic businessmen and politicians. When asked about immigration, his Avoidance Subroutine kicked in  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com) (71)
(Mother Nature Network) Weird Colorado is actively lobbying to become a hub for suborbital space planes in a worldwide network of suborbital point-to-point travel. This actually makes a lot of sense to anyone who has ever been to the Denver airport  (mnn.com) (52)


Wed May 23, 2012
(Physics World) Obvious Quantum teleportation record broken... again. This is everything all at once while being nothing at the same time as something else is other than the thing it is while being in the exact same space as another without touching. Makes sense  (physicsworld.com) (39)
(Slate) Silly "I have a Cuban grandparent. Why does the census count me as Hispanic." Well, either way you get some great college tuition breaks  (slate.com) (56)
(Tea Party Tribune) Obvious The fact that, un-vetted, "Barak Hussein Obama" was just elected the President of the United States of America and that we landed a man on the moon, sent spacecraft to the outer regions of space, etc., makes this strategy possible  (teapartytribune.com) (97)


Tue May 22, 2012
(phys.org) Interesting New study shows that sleeping around can be costly for sparrows. It pays not to be a cheap cluck  (phys.org) (10)
(USA Today) Amusing Free pizza on June 5 but only if you order it in Spanish. Some people have a problem with that. "In public areas, people should be speaking English, and that includes pizza parlors"  (usatoday.com) (315)
(Washington Post) Stupid It's been at least a day or two since you've read about a bullshiat trend made up by a newspaper to fill column inches, right? Pining for one? Okay, here you go: American youth don't want cars anymore, they want web mobility  (washingtonpost.com) (55)
(CNN) Cool SpaceX finds a bottle of blue pills, finally gets it up  (cnn.com) (113)
(Bloomberg) Followup The Pain in Spain Plainly Will Remain  (bloomberg.com) (14)


Mon May 21, 2012
(Daily Mail) Strange I'm not saying it was space microbes but it was space microbes  (dailymail.co.uk) (15)
(SLAM Online) Asinine Bricklayer Kobe Bryant picks a Laker to blame for their playoff meltdown. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition  (slamonline.com) (32)
(Celebslam) Asinine Kourtney Kardashian parks in handicapped spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (74)


Sun May 20, 2012
(MSNBC) Interesting New York City's first million-dollar private parking space to hit the market soon. Comes with its own deed, sales contract, and maintenance fees  (msnbc.msn.com) (95)
(USA Today) Followup Kristen Wiigs emotional swansong from SNL closes the curtain on an era. A spastic, loony era  (usatoday.com) (168)


Sat May 19, 2012
(BBC) News SpaceX Dragon spacecraft makes history ... just not the way they intended  (bbc.co.uk) (123)


Fri May 18, 2012
(Some Guy) Obvious Liberal group fighting for transparency in political donations and "getting money out of politics", refuses to disclose its own donors list  (freebeacon.com) (43)
(Some Guy) Amusing Ready for Fark journalism: "Police said Rachel George spat on, cursed at and kicked officers while they attempted to make her sit, and Sgt. Sean Duffy injured himself striking her in the face"  (triblive.com) (34)


Thu May 17, 2012
(Marketplace) Spiffy Those silly hippies of the "Occupy" movement have never done anything worthwhile--except get half a dozen major cities to pass the most signficant bank "transparency" laws enacted in a generation  (marketplace.org) (83)
(Entertainment Weekly) Amusing Will Smith's kung fu son gets right to the point and asks President Obama about the space aliens  (popwatch.ew.com) (83)
(AP) Interesting Majority of US Children now being born to minorities. EVERYBODY HISPANIC  (hosted.ap.org) (271)


Wed May 16, 2012
(Slate) Interesting Not news: Most Americans opposed to massive government spending. Fark: On the Apollo space program  (slate.com) (42)
(Some Guy) Sick What do you get when you combine a Sparkling Princess and Royal Horse Barbie set in pink wrapping paper, a digital camera and Viagra? C.) PMITAP  (post-gazette.com) (40)


Tue May 15, 2012
(NBCMiami) Followup How you like that? Miami fire captain demoted for disparaging Facebook post about Trayvon Martin  (nbcmiami.com) (141)
(Taste of Country) Spiffy Taylor Swift fans miss concert because of drunk driver. Weeping messenger bluebirds dispatched; Swift's woodland headquarters immediately goes on Rainbow Alert  (tasteofcountry.com) (31)
(Gizmodo) Hero Newspaper editor rips off local blogger post and reprints it verbatim. Blogger takes camera to newspaper and confronts the editor and gets $500 for violating his copyright  (gizmodo.com) (90)


Mon May 14, 2012
(Yahoo) Photoshop NASA is soliciting space station experiments. Photoshop a proposal (LGTA)  (news.yahoo.com) (18)
(Some Guy) Spiffy The best llama haircuts you will see all day. Bonus: one looks suspiciously like David Spade  (thestar.blogs.com) (67)
(CBS News) Followup Thousands march in Spain to protest austerity, unemployment, running of bulls being changed to running of the calves  (cbsnews.com) (107)


Sun May 13, 2012
(SPEED) Cool A Williams on the pole? Lewis Hamilton starting from the back of the grid? Other possible crazy? It's your F1 Grand Prix of Spain official discussion thread. Race coverage starts at 7:30 AM EST  (formula-one.speedtv.com) (152)


Sat May 12, 2012
(NYPost) Amusing Dear Parent, We regret to inform you that there is no room for your child in Battery Park Kindergarten public school. But do not worry, we checked with the $16k a year private school right down the street and they still have spaces open  (nypost.com) (125)


Thu May 10, 2012
(Daily Mail) Strange Was Christina Aguilera's sparkly hot pants a good look? Well, it depends  (dailymail.co.uk) (68)


Wed May 09, 2012
(Some Guy) Spiffy Old, busted: miniature giant space hamsters. New hotness: miniature giant mammoths  (phys.org) (16)
(Yahoo) Cool Secret X37B Space Plane a 'Spectacular Success,' except for the Secret part  (news.yahoo.com) (53)
(News.com.au) Unlikely YouTuber claims to have found evidence of another spaceship near the Sun from SOHO footage. Yes, another one  (news.com.au) (44)
(io9) Interesting New evidence indicates the Germans may have launched a crewed rocket into space in 1933. Soar krauts  (io9.com) (49)


Mon May 07, 2012
(Talking Points Memo) Interesting ABC, Univision to create Hispanic news channel. Prime-time dream-team lineup would include 1970's Charo, that guy from the Dos Equis commercials, Bumblebee Guy from the Simpson's and Glenn Beck  (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) (153)


Sat May 05, 2012
(Daily Star) Amusing Today's Fark-ready headline: Delighted housewife knits spacesuit for rubber chicken  (dailystar.co.uk) (16)
(Some Guy) Fail The British Asparagus Festival has been cancelled due to lack of asparagus   (britishasparagusfestival.org) (38)
(Panorama.gi) Silly Gibraltar very very angry Spain is to hold three bull fighting confrences in Gibraltar. Possibility of very rarely seen British Overseas Territory Sports/Border Dispute Related Trifecta  (panorama.gi) (6)
(Gizmodo) Followup Obama plans to veto CISPA. That's good. He's supporting an alternative with similar language proposed by Joe Liebermann. That's bad. Everyone gets a Frogurt with their lost online privacy. That's good  (gizmodo.com) (47)


Fri May 04, 2012
(Gawker) Scary "MySpace's sole purpose is to serve as an anthropological collection of the ways young people embarrassed themselves online in the early-to-mid-2000s"  (gawker.com) (18)
(Economist) Sad SpaceX prepares for the first private sector mission to resupply the Coca Cola International Space Station. Brought to you by Carl's Jr  (economist.com) (72)
(Washington Post) Obvious "The entire Obama campaign is a slice-and-dice operation, pandering to one group after another, particularly those that elected Obama in 2008 - blacks, Hispanics, women, young people - and for whom the thrill is now gone"  (washingtonpost.com) (169)


Thu May 03, 2012
(physorg.com) Interesting Biologists turn back the clock to understand evolution of sex differences. Cavewomen be SPAWNIN'. Cavemen be huntin' and gatherin' like zombies all up in the wilderness  (phys.org) (4)
(Some Guy) Amusing By the time you receive this, we'll be gone. We came from the Level Above Human in distant space and we have now exited the bodies that we were wearing for our earthly task, to return to the world from whence we came - task completed  (lasvegas.cbslocal.com) (22)
(Forbes) Obvious In the next 5 - 8 yrs. Google and Facebook could just be gone. Not bankrupt gone, but MySpace gone  (forbes.com) (141)
(Ars Technica) Cool Come for some geek knowledge, stay for the newspaper quotes from a time when journalists knew how to write  (arstechnica.com) (7)
(WRCB-TV) Cool "This is my first experience with an animal, other than taking care of my dog Sparky," Dr. Warren says. "So, I'm branching out a little bit"  (wrcbtv.com) (11)


Wed May 02, 2012
(Reuters) Obvious Law banning cannabis for tourists in The Netherlands is under a week old, and already black markets have sprung up, people are now sparking up in public. PROBLEM SOLVED  (reuters.com) (65)
(Yahoo) Amusing How bad is Scott Gomez at hockey? The Montreal Canadiens will pay him over $10 million, and reduce their salary cap space by over $3 million, just so he can stop playing for them  (sports.yahoo.com) (48)
(Talking Points Memo) Interesting It's been forty years since the American workforce had benefits and salary that ran parallel to economic growth, and those forty years have been full of pay disparity based on both race and gender  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (199)


Tue May 01, 2012
(C&E News) Followup How worried should we be about intelligent space dinosaurs? Apparently enough to try and get the same paper published three times in three separate journals  (cen.acs.org) (33)
(Daily Mail) Obvious How do you say "LOOK AT ME, I'M AN ATTENTION WHORE" in Spanish?  (dailymail.co.uk) (64)


Mon April 30, 2012
(NYCAviation.com) Cool Hey, Remember When the Space Shuttle Flew Over New York Last Week? That Was Cool  (nycaviation.com) (36)
(The New York Times) Interesting European stocks drift lower on news of Spanish recession [JARRING CHORD]  (nytimes.com) (26)
(Please leave us alone) Spiffy Browsing the web near a political event on your mobile? You will now get opposition political spam ads based on your location. THE FUTURE IS HERE  (legalinsurrection.com) (25)
(Newser) Fail Spain's high unemployment throws country into recession as most common profession becomes siesta  (newser.com) (40)


Sun April 29, 2012
(NASA) Cool Less than 100 days to America's next test of Martian space defense systems  (jpl.nasa.gov) (26)
(SeattlePI) Cool Celebrate the Hubble Space Telescope turning 22 with this amazing gallery of pictures it has taken over the years  (blog.seattlepi.com) (57)


Fri April 27, 2012
(Daily Mail) Interesting Best Korean parade honoring country's founder is visible from space  (dailymail.co.uk) (85)
(YouTube) Cool Subby was just hanging out at the Chelsea Piers in NYC this morning and what did he see? A 747 coming out of the sky with a Space Shuttle hitching a ride. Video for your viewing pleasure  (youtube.com) (71)
(The Local (Sweden)) Scary The Swedes have not kept very tight controls over their plutonium, even selling it to a wild-haired scientist for some spare pinball machine parts  (thelocal.se) (36)


Thu April 26, 2012
(Fox News) Scary Our long national nightmare has been realized: bears...IN SPACE  (foxnews.com) (28)
(Cracked) Stupid Want to be massaged by snakes or elephants? It is among the six "Luxury" Spa Treatments For The Extremely Rich & Insane  (cracked.com) (23)
(Washington Post) Interesting US and Russia agree on the cyberspace equivalent of a safe word  (washingtonpost.com) (13)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Welcome to the world's first luxury dental spa, where you can get bridgework and a massage all in the same place. See, do this and people might enjoy coming to the dentist  (sun-sentinel.com) (25)
(Media Matters) Stupid Use of the phrase "Job Killing Regulations" in newspapers increased 17,550% from 2007 to 2011. Doubleplusgood  (mediamatters.org) (303)
(Some Guy) Sad 50 years into the space revolution and the new engine NASA is testing is... a modified version of the engine that lifted the Saturn Ib. Where are our warp drives and space colonies with green slave women?  (phys.org) (78)


Wed April 25, 2012
(wcnc.com) Interesting Michael Jordan defends Charlotte Bobcats, himself, and "Space Jam"  (wcnc.com) (51)
(Boston.com) Photoshop Photoshop these rays in Spain  (inapcache.boston.com) (22)
(ESPN) Spiffy Finally some good news for Mets fans: Not only does Jason Bay's injury spare them from having to watch him flail at the plate every day, it may also prevent his $17 million option from vesting next year  (espn.go.com) (15)
(The Atlantic) Photoshop Photoshop this space case  (cdn.theatlantic.com) (42)
(Des Moines Register) Dumbass Police officer crashes his patrol car, drives away, then calls dispatch because he can't change a tire. That's when his fellow officer saw the pot and meth  (blogs.desmoinesregister.com) (46)


Tue April 24, 2012
(Talking Points Memo) Interesting Ron Paul backs CISPA, believing the cybersecurity bill will protect his medication from robots   (idealab.talkingpointsmemo.com) (147)
(Computerworld) Asinine Russian cybercriminals earned $4.5 billion in 2011. That kind of money could buy a lot of Spam  (computerworld.com) (12)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Rays minor leaguers to get more wood on it, really start spanking the balls once Hideki Matsui and his massive porn collection arrive in Durham  (tampabay.com) (11)
(Forbes) Cool Writer of "Star Trek: The Next Generation's" best episode talks about why he's releasing the sequel online. Pick up your space flute and play along  (forbes.com) (241)
(Universe Today) Cool Twenty two years of amazing images from the Hubble Space Telescope  (universetoday.com) (8)
(Space) Spiffy For decades, rugged industrialists and Heinlein fans have pushed for the privatization of manned space travel. Coming as soon as 2015, Boeing could make those dreams a reality  (space.com) (44)
(NJ.com) Sappy Captain's Log, stardate 424.12. Weather permitting, this is the final cruise of the Space Shuttle Enterprise. This ship and her history will shortly become the care of the Intrepid Sea, Space and Air Museum in Manhattan  (nj.com) (78)


Mon April 23, 2012
(Mother Jones) Interesting Meet some of the country's biggest media companies, which own dozens of newspapers and TV news operations that are lobbying against transparency  (motherjones.com) (15)
(BBC) Cool Juice leads billion-euro space race, police following slowly  (bbc.co.uk) (8)
(The Punch) Obvious Australian journalist drinks only Starbucks coffee for three weeks. Finally concludes that it tastes like "run-off from an overweight Greco-Roman wrestler's spandex after a spin class"  (thepunch.com.au) (46)
(SeattlePI) Cool Seattle's Space Needle turns 50. Tourists flock to observation deck to see panoramic views of city, Lake Union, all 160 Starbucks locations  (seattlepi.com) (21)
(BBC) Weird Springtime in Germany means annual near-orgasmic obsession with asparagus has begun. "Who knows what the mixture of phallic symbolism and fertile soil means in the German psyche"  (bbc.co.uk) (88)


Sun April 22, 2012
(Hartford Courant) Followup Joe Lieberman plans to call hearings on Secret Service prostitution scandal. Hearings to be aired on C-SPAN, Cinemax  (courant.com) (129)
(Deadline) Followup The Hunger Games finally gets knocked off its perch to #3, with Think Like a Man taking the top spot and Nicholas Spark's twelfth rewrite of The Notebook taking #2  (deadline.com) (87)
(Boston.com) Fail Town that spent $1 million last year to switch to multispace parking meters will spend $100,000 this year to switch back to traditional meters  (boston.com) (107)
(The Sun) Strange 35-year-old Milf cries tears of diamonds. The Sun is there, making her eyes all sparkly (w/pic)  (thesun.co.uk) (167)


Sat April 21, 2012
(io9) Spiffy Bubbles inside bubbles, inside bubbles, inside SPACE  (io9.com) (24)
(New York Daily News) Spiffy What secret is Princess Cadance and Shining Armor hiding from Twilight Sparkle? Did Pinkie Pie plan the wedding reception? Will Derpy bring muffins? It's the Royal Wedding season finale of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, 1 pm on The Hub  (nydailynews.com) (154)


Fri April 20, 2012
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Spanish talk shows are awesome. Not only could they get Jennifer Lawrence to show up in a figure-hugging dress and heels, they somehow convinced her to shoot arrows and play with action figures  (dailymail.co.uk) (70)


Thu April 19, 2012
(Some Alien Abductee Guy) Strange Tired of being abducted and "probed" by space aliens? Resistance is fertile  (alienresistance.org) (62)
(Independent) Interesting Right wing in despair as Socialist leads Presidential Race by 14%, France on verge of surrendering Palais d'Elysée to Hollande  (independent.co.uk) (122)


Wed April 18, 2012
(Discover) Spiffy Space firm about to make a major announcement regarding new project that will "add trillions of dollars to the global GDP." The Bad Astronomer take a stab at what it is. Hint: It's asteroid mining  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (133)
(io9) Interesting 15 writers and directors who've spawned their own separate genres. Bonus: Not a slideshow  (io9.com) (95)
(Forbes) Scary Five horrifying facts you didn't know about the space shuttle  (forbes.com) (153)


Tue April 17, 2012
(Some Guy) Cool HispanicBusiness.com thinks a headline at Los Fark es Muy gracioso  (hispanicbusiness.com) (0)
(Discover) Cool NASA telescope spots rainbow tornado in space. In unrelated news, Republicans defund NASA  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (36)
(EITB) Cool The world braces for more clasico fever, the greatest soccer match ever..Real Madrid and Barcelona's titanic duel to be crowned kings of Spain, a potential decider for the championship and a new duel between Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo  (eitb.com) (118)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Austin Police Department says officer followed procedure when he showed up for a domestic disturbance at the wrong address, pulled his gun on the startled resident, and shot his dog dead in front of him in a span of four seconds  (kvue.com) (306)


Mon April 16, 2012
(Click Orlando) Florida Man tells 911 dispatcher: 'I am your father" ... soon the (police) force is with him  (clickorlando.com) (27)
(SlashFilm) Spiffy "5-25-77", a film about how the release of the original Star Wars movie shapes a young man's Hollywood dreams is set for release after lingering "like a piece of space junk released from a Star Destroyer"  (slashfilm.com) (24)
(Some Guy) Fail AMBER ALERT: missing children last seen ...wait, they're Hispanic? Never mind  (1035superx.com) (132)
(The Daily Beast) Strange In today's Daily Double, this once popular punishment for children is now being sought out by powerful adult women. [bzzzt] What is spanking, Alex?  (thedailybeast.com) (187)


Sun April 15, 2012
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida A bomb blast, an ambulance stolen and a man named either Maggie, Shadow or Spartacus clutching a potato. Just your average Saturday night in Tarpon Springs  (tampabay.com) (37)
(io9) Amusing Liiiiiiiions & tiiiiiiiigers & beaaaaaars, iiiin SPAAAAAAACE  (io9.com) (22)


Sat April 14, 2012
(LA Times) Obvious Movie analyst urges studios to join real world, stop charging same ticket price for every movie, whether it's sparkly vampire crapfest, brainless action crapfest, or sensitive Oscar-bait crapfest  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (95)
(Some Guy) Interesting In the 106 years since Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity, scientists have largely accepted Time as Space's 4th dimension. A bold new theory says Time exists independently of Space, and Einstein can just suck it  (phys.org) (196)


Fri April 13, 2012
(Telegraph) Cool Amazing slideshow of pictures of Earth taken from the International Space Station  (telegraph.co.uk) (26)
(CSMonitor) Amusing Today's Fark-ready headline: "Intelligent space dinosaurs: How worried should we be?"  (csmonitor.com) (125)


Thu April 12, 2012
(MSNBC) Interesting US Customs begins waging war on drugs in the classified advertisements of Mexican newspapers. Horrified editors look on as Marmaduke is recruited by Los Zetas and savagely mauls Dolly, Jeffy, and PJ  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com) (49)
(Forbes) Interesting Scientists try to find out if Scotch whiskey can mature in zero gravity, as the space program finally gets serious about an eight-month flight to Mars  (forbes.com) (19)


Tue April 10, 2012
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this space plant  (cs10235.userapi.com) (24)
(E! Online) Followup Fark's favorite poorly-tattooed Asian Myspace dwarf-slut leaves rehab after failed suicide attempt, career attempt  (eonline.com) (57)


Sat April 07, 2012
(Wired) Cool The best precious snowflake art of space you're going to see today  (wired.com) (23)
(io9) Sad Las Vegas nearly had a life-sized Starship Enterprise. It's as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in despair and were suddenly silenced  (io9.com) (106)
(Yahoo) Strange Newspaper sends 70 reporters to cover Angels' season opener. They must be doing one hell of a special section  (sports.yahoo.com) (5)


Fri April 06, 2012
(Fox News) Obvious Astronauts from International Space Station take one millionth photo, promising to be different from the previous 999,999 views of earth  (foxnews.com) (13)
(The Sun) Strange I don't know what parping is, but the mayor of La Toba, Spain has made it illegal, along with farting and picking your nose  (thesun.co.uk) (60)


Thu April 05, 2012
(The Atlantic) Cool Pictures from the Gemini space program in the 1960s  (theatlantic.com) (46)
(Chicago Tribune) Unlikely Proof that even a major metropolitan newspaper can troll: Cubs' "Opening day for optimism and overcoming obstacles"  (chicagotribune.com) (8)


Wed April 04, 2012
(Guardian) Fail Spain's economy craters after enacting most severe austerity in three decades. Clearly, more budget cuts will solve their problems  (guardian.co.uk) (207)
(WTKR) Dumbass Teen passes out in woman's yard after using spice. Woman tells him to get off her lawn, stop folding space  (wtkr.com) (104)


Tue April 03, 2012
(Mother Nature Network) Cool The Buzz Lightyear figure that was flown to the International Space Station is now headed to the Smithsonian and beyond  (mnn.com) (16)


Sun April 01, 2012
(Jalopnik) Dumbass And the award for Most Inappropriate Parking Space goes to...School-bus in front of Porn Store, let's have a round of applause  (jalopnik.com) (84)
(The Pirate Bay) Interesting The Pirate Bay is purchasing low orbit airspace broadcasting rights over European countries. You know what this means: The Space Pirate Wars have begun  (thepiratebay.se) (22)


Sat March 31, 2012
(Fark) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: How to make newspapers more profitable  (fark.com) (25)
(Space) Followup Spaceman candidate allowed to call himself 'astronaut' on ballot. Other candidates protest, fearing they will be required to list their occupations  (space.com) (80)


Fri March 30, 2012
(Fox News) Unlikely Listen, your son died on a secret space station at the hands of a 7 foot tall assassin with metal teeth trying to save the world from a mad scientist's evil plot. What's so hard to understand about that?  (foxnews.com) (110)
(New York Daily News) Cool Teens filling up the lanes at local archery range after watching Hunger Games movie. Top that, sparkly vampires  (nydailynews.com) (199)
(AZCentral) Cool New Mexico's international spaceport gets approval for a $7-million extension of its runway. Just in case a Star Destroyer needs to land  (azcentral.com) (24)


Wed March 28, 2012
(My Fox Dallas) Silly Great grandma may sue Justin Bieber over errant Tweet, throwing the newspaper on her lawn  (myfoxdfw.com) (23)
(The Sun) Scary Some thug named Tyson has been beating the crap out of boat users on a two-mile stretch of the UK's longest canal. Yeah, he's just a swan with a whopping 8ft wingspan, but still  (thesun.co.uk) (23)
(Some Guy) Dumbass The mainstream press is really doing a number on this Trayvon Martin thing, but I'll bet that the bastions of journalistic integrity at big state school newspapers are... oh my  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (162)


Tue March 27, 2012
(Daily Mail) Hero High-class Spanish hookers refuse to service bankers until they open up lines of credit to cash-strapped families. Viva el capitalismo  (dailymail.co.uk) (50)
(Reuters) Dumbass Bernanke says US needs more growth. Apparently he never checked his spam folder  (reuters.com) (15)
(National Geographic) Interesting Scientists say Vikings who conquered new lands seem to have brought with them armies of mice, SPAM  (news.nationalgeographic.com) (30)


Mon March 26, 2012
(Wired) Cool Lightning Spectra, Iridescent Meat, Glory in Space, Prismatic Road Signs, and Water Striders--weird band names or cool optical phenomena?  (wired.com) (19)
(Newsday) Scary International Space Station crew gets to play duck, duck, goose with old Cosmos 2251 satellite  (newsday.com) (15)


Sun March 25, 2012
(Some Guy) Cool It's nice to hang out in the Space Station, looking at auroras and listening to Puccini. Wait. What was that? (around 3:20)  (vimeo.com) (45)
(Deadline) Followup It's official: The Hunger Games has beaten Twilight at the box office and proven itself to be the better franchise in many ways. TEAM NO SPARKLY VAMPIRES  (deadline.com) (158)


Sat March 24, 2012
(Some Guy) Silly Upset over photos leaked from the set, J.J. Abrams builds the "Great Wall of Trek" (w/ pic). Giant space amoeba approves  (sciencefiction.com) (55)


Fri March 23, 2012
(NPR) Obvious Why does North Korea's planned rocket test matter? Because batshiat crazy people are shooting large rockets into space, that's why  (npr.org) (51)


Thu March 22, 2012
(MSNBC) Cool So, I see that your mom is headed to the International Space Station  (msnbc.msn.com) (11)
(CNN) Dumbass High school drug counselor accused of giving students a safe space to have sex with each other. And then videotaping them  (cnn.com) (35)
(Google) Spiffy Pigs... in... spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace  (google.com) (16)
(Discover) Spiffy Why do we waste money on the space program? This  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (94)
(Dacula Patch) Interesting Disgruntled Craigslist buyer shoots up seller's home with "hand guns" while "saying something in Spanish"  (dacula.patch.com) (45)


Wed March 21, 2012
(Some Glowing Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this sparkling water  (muz4in.net) (21)
(USA Today) Fail Founder of C-SPAN stepping down as CEO. Has plans to start another similarly exciting network tentatively called The Paint Drying Channel  (content.usatoday.com) (24)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Dozens of marijuana grow house charges expected to be dropped after police are accused of trespassing and then lying about it. Whoa, dude, no way  (tampabay.com) (41)


Tue March 20, 2012
(Some Guy) Strange With no interesting Middle East news to report, Al Jazeera acquires American TV rights to first-division French, Italian and Spanish soccer leagues  (epltalk.com) (20)


Mon March 19, 2012
(Boomstick Comics) Asinine Michael Bay says teenage mutant ninja turtles will be space aliens  (boomstickcomics.com) (172)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Florida's governor expected to sign a bill doubling and tripling fines for parking illegally in handicap spaces, which in Florida will impact no one at all  (sun-sentinel.com) (74)
(PhysOrg.com) Obvious Spain's solar energy plant keeps working at night due to the addition of a buffer, which is apparently a totally new and unique concept never before attempted in any intermittent system anywhere  (physorg.com) (157)
(Fox News) Asinine Three years into the Most Transparent Administration Ever, how many states get an "A" grade for transparency, accountability, and low corruption? How does "zero" sound? And you'll never guess who actually ranks highest  (foxnews.com) (91)
(Some Guy) Amusing Well, good for Garry Trudeau. It kinda makes you wonder though... what would it look like if other newspaper cartoonists ran abortion stories? Hmmmmm.... I wonder... what would that look like... *cue harp*  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (73)


Fri March 16, 2012
(WPTV) Florida Teen that got three DUIs in less than three weeks has a series of mugshots that tell a story of triumph, betrayal and despair  (wptv.com) (170)
(Quad City Times) Silly Drunk-o-meter shirt offends Irish newspaper columnist, who sobered up enough to write an angry column about stereotypes  (qctimes.com) (146)
(Some Guy) Fail Marijuana grow lamp sparks house blaze, firefighters able to knock down the flames once they dispersed the large crowd that had gathered downwind  (wdsu.com) (35)


Thu March 15, 2012
(io9) Video Awesome HD video shot from the Space Shuttle during launch -- with sound  (io9.com) (119)
(Some Guy) Strange It's either a burial chamber, a hole left from a WW2 bomb or an alien space craft buried 25 feet underground  (disinfo.com) (78)
(Reason Magazine) Amusing Space X's Elon Musk: "I think it would be cool to be born on Earth and die on Mars. Hopefully not at the point of impact"  (reason.com) (31)


Wed March 14, 2012
(Pressconnects) Interesting "Gloom, despair, and agony." It's not Detroit, it's Binghamton, NY: America's #5 most depressing, #2 most obese, and #1 most pessimistic city  (pressconnects.com) (141)
(NHL) Spiffy Flyers fans starting to feel better about giving the Spaceman $51 million over 9 years as the Bryz posts his 3rd straight shutout  (nhl.com) (54)
(Humans Invent) Cool Gourmet space food of the future. From a spirulina martini to a vegetable taboulé, this is how we will be eating on the way to a galaxy far far away  (humansinvent.com) (9)
(Some Guy) Interesting "Microgravity-induced intracranial hypertension represents a hypothetical risk factor and a potential limitation to long-duration space travel." In other words, your eyeballs stretch out of shape and your brain deforms  (huffingtonpost.co.uk) (39)


Tue March 13, 2012
(CNN) Sad Encyclopedia Britannica is going to stop printing new editions after 250 years. Space report kid inconsolable  (money.cnn.com) (167)
(Uproxx) Cool One Farker's mashup of The Walking Dead and Office Space "has been deemed the preferred choice of the internet," according to Uproxx (not-safe-for-work)  (uproxx.com) (5)
(LA Times) Spiffy Congressional bill seeks to let Astronauts keep some props from when they filmed their fake space missions  (latimes.com) (6)


Mon March 12, 2012
(Some Guy) Followup Here's a list of the newspapers that won't be running Doonesbury this week, notable only for the fact that there are this many newspapers in existence  (dailycartoonist.com) (232)
(YouTube) Amusing In last night's The Walking Dead there was an Office Space tribute. Here it is (Not safe for work)  (youtube.com) (205)
(io9) Interesting The technology to send trains into space has been developed. Still no cure for shoddy American rail system  (io9.com) (79)


Sat March 10, 2012
(io9) Interesting Watch ants invade a scanner over the span of five years  (io9.com) (52)
(Yahoo) Amusing Old Broad Goes Viral: A North Dakota newspaper columnist becomes an Internet sensation after her review of the Olive Garden hits the news website Fark  (news.yahoo.com) (22)
(io9) Cool Watch drops of water in space 'orbit' a knitting needle like tiny planets  (io9.com) (54)


Fri March 09, 2012
(Some Guy) Amusing School officials facing suspension, spankings after porn links show up on school's Twitter feed  (wwnytv.com) (12)
(Mr Outre) Dumbass Hey you Got a spare £11.50 cluttering up your bank account? Want to ingest nicotine via a really, really pompous cocktail? Introducing the "Cig'nature". Or as some call it, the BLEAUGH  (mroutre.com) (22)
(YouTube) Video Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson's remarks at Senate Commerce hearing on the future of our space program  (youtube.com) (85)
(Slate) Strange The question to ask Derrick Bell is not why did you write that whites would sell blacks to aliens. But what do space aliens need African-Americans for? What did Derrick Bell know about these aliens and when did he know it?  (slate.com) (226)
(My Fox DC) Sad Another sign newspapers don't get it  (myfoxdc.com) (39)


Thu March 08, 2012
(STLToday) Misc Irsay Anningmay alloutfay eculationspay  (stltoday.com) (7)
(Yahoo) Florida Keyless car ignitions are too scary; Florida soon to mandate return to buggy whips. Gas station attendants, bank tellers, and newspaper printers keeping fingers crossed  (gma.yahoo.com) (146)
(St. Petersburg Times) Spiffy After trying out to be Goofy, Spanx inventor becomes youngest female self-made billionaire  (tampabay.com) (93)


Wed March 07, 2012
(Yahoo) Dumbass Romney mocks Obama's focus on renewable energy, saying "you can't drive a car with a windmill on it." Especially when most of your car's roof space is already occupied by your dog  (news.yahoo.com) (172)
(BBC) Cool Can Arsenal pull off a miracle at the Emirates? Will Zenit try to sneak Arshavin into the match? Could any of us even find Nicosia on a map? All that, plus some Spanish team plays some German team. It's your midweek Champions League thread  (bbc.co.uk) (242)
(Yahoo) Ironic Air Force's mysterious x-37b robotic space plane celebrates one year in orbit. I for one welcome our new robotic astronaut overlords  (news.yahoo.com) (33)
(SanDiegoUnionTribune) Fail Newspaper whines that San Diego isn't taking the Chargers stadium proposal the newspaper commissioned seriously. Putting it on the front page wasn't enough, evidently  (utsandiego.com) (16)


Tue March 06, 2012
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Man blames his trespassing on Hebrew National hot dogs  (nwfdailynews.com) (33)
(NYPost) Scary Fark's favorite poorly-tattooed Asian Myspace dwarf-slut hospitalized after drug overdose. Much to the great shock of ... well, nobody  (nypost.com) (138)


Mon March 05, 2012
(Some Astronaut) Cool Point a laser at a helicopter at night, and you'll get arrested. Point a laser at the space station, and you'll get a blog post from an astronaut congratulating you (with photo of success)  (blogs.airspacemag.com) (41)


Thu March 01, 2012
(Discovery) Fail Stolen laptop contained secret space station plans, in what could be the worst setup for a sci-fi movie of all time  (news.discovery.com) (48)


Wed February 29, 2012
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Six-year-old gives birth to baby with same space-time deficiency. That sounds about right for Florida  (orlandosentinel.com) (67)
(Daily Mail) Sappy 27 puppies born over span of three days. Fark needs an "ADORABLE" tag  (dailymail.co.uk) (55)


Tue February 28, 2012
(Entertainment Weekly) Sad James Spader announces he's leaving The Office  (insidetv.ew.com) (105)


Mon February 27, 2012
(NASA) Interesting In deep space astronomy, time lapse photography takes quite a long time  (apod.nasa.gov) (15)
(The Raw Story) Obvious Murdoch newspaper found to be illegally paying corrupt officials. The Sun is there  (rawstory.com) (57)
(Fox News) Scary Welcome to the USSA : "Congress has told the FAA that the agency must allow civilian and military drones to fly in civilian airspace by September 2015"  (foxnews.com) (283)
(Telegraph & Argus) Unlikely Man says he's "in shock" after witnessing extraterrestrial Frisbee invasion from space  (thetelegraphandargus.co.uk) (29)
(NPR) Sad Neil deGrasse Tyson finds oil and terrorists in space, adding, ". . and maybe some communists too. All I need some kind of space tank to mount a telescope on"  (npr.org) (51)


Sun February 26, 2012
(Daily Mail) Cool Strip club... in... Spaaace (w/pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (90)


Sat February 25, 2012
(Wired) Spiffy Yo dawg we heard you like the Lego International Space Station (ISS) and you're on the real ISS so we gave you a Lego ISS so you can have a Lego ISS on the ISS so now, you can get your ISS on because we heard you like Lego and the ISS, dawg  (wired.com) (66)
(Mother Nature Network) Spiffy Ten crafty ways to use something called a newspaper around your home  (mnn.com) (53)


Fri February 24, 2012
(Google) Florida If you make the most valuable sunken treasure discovery in history, don't tell Spain  (google.com) (103)
(Pravda) Interesting Strange object with something inside falls down from space in Brazil  (english.pravda.ru) (114)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy Gizmodo cites FARK for giving them the tip about the man who used the old 'Craigslist sex ad spam trick'  (gizmodo.com) (0)
(Seattle Times) Interesting A female high school Spanish teacher in Los Angeles was arrested after two male students said they had sex with her. Con usted lo golpeó foto  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (140)


Thu February 23, 2012
(Q2) Scary Company recalls oscillating space heaters with undocumented "inferno" and "electrocution" settings  (ktvq.com) (7)
(Some Guy) Interesting U.S. Defense Intelligence Agency director: China is preparing for space warfare and they've copied the plans for a Death Star from a Lego kit  (freebeacon.com) (59)
(Some Guy) Sad Final look at Discovery's flight deck before it is powered down forever and moved to the National Air and Space Museum (Sad tag trumps Cool tag)  (360vr.com) (39)
(FOX Charlotte) Sick Police arrest man for spanking kids with shovel -- not his kids, his hoe's  (foxcharlotte.com) (28)
(The Sun) Strange Brain disease turns 22-year-old hottie into a toddler (w/ 'you'd spank it' pics)  (thesun.co.uk) (209)
(WFAA) Dumbass If you're willing to entrust your back-room boob job to Queen Divas Hair Salon and Spa, then don't be surprised when you end up in critical condition, and doctors aren't exactly sure what was injected into your chest  (wfaa.com) (46)


Wed February 22, 2012
(Washington Times) Asinine Former DNC chair to buy the two most prestigious and influential newspapers in a critical swing-state with funds provided by Democratic donors. Of course the newspapers will remain legit and non-parti..Ok I couldn't not laugh  (washingtontimes.com) (80)
(Some Guy) Florida THIS DAY IN HISTORY: On February 22, 1819, Spain prevented Ohio from getting its own tag by selling Florida to the United States  (theepochtimes.com) (31)
(NASA) Spiffy Spitzer finds buckyballs in space. What Eliot Spitzer was doing in space to begin with, we'll never know  (jpl.nasa.gov) (19)
(Starpulse) Unlikely Adam Levine defends fat chicks in Spandex  (starpulse.com) (45)
(Cleveland Plain Dealer) Hero Newspaper employee stakes out vending machine, saves newspaper at least $12  (cleveland.com) (74)
(kabc) Interesting While celebrating the 50th anniversary of John Glenn's space flight, NASA admits they weren't sure where he would come down or if he would survive ... pretty much like flying Delta  (kabc.com) (19)


Tue February 21, 2012
(BusinessWeek) Fail Foreign immigrants to Spain didn't expect some sort of Spanish real estate implosition  (businessweek.com) (23)
(Some Guy) Sick You know you have a hoarding problem when your mess is visible from space  (abclocal.go.com) (132)
(decoist) Spiffy Loud coworkers driving you nuts? Spouse and kids have you climbing the walls? Cheer up, you can now get a cone of silence for your workspace. No word how effective it is on mother in-law  (decoist.com) (38)
(YouTube) Spiffy 21-year-old Norwegian makes chess cool and earns 1.5 million a year in endorsements. Bonus: video includes a segment where he walks away from a game vs Garry Kasparov because he was BORED  (youtube.com) (59)


Mon February 20, 2012
(BBC) Interesting International Space Station to become much more polite, cleanly. Station spatiale internationale à devenir beaucoup plus polis, proprement  (bbc.co.uk) (36)
(Washington Post) Spiffy Inventor of e-mail honored by Smithsonian. Was given special presentation at gala luncheon featuring seafood, poultry, Spam  (washingtonpost.com) (15)


Sun February 19, 2012
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Just because it's cold outside, how about a Victoria's Secret bikini shoot?  (dailymail.co.uk) (94)


Sat February 18, 2012
(Vanity Fair) Cool Interactive tribute to some awesome character actors. Includes Lumbergh and Milton from "Office Space" and the Kurgan. Warning: Shirtless Machete  (vanityfair.com) (118)


Fri February 17, 2012
(Miami Herald) Followup The poison that guy found guilty of trespassing took? Dihydrogen Monoxide  (miamiherald.com) (73)
(Politico) Fail Remember folks, always check your email's spam folder. Sometimes important things will get sent there by accident, like membership confirmations, tallies for your primary caucus voting, messages from fami- wait what?  (politico.com) (47)
(Some Guy) Cool Gallery of old Soviet space propaganda posters. "Fatherland You lighted the star of progress and peace. Glory to the science, glory to the labor Glory to the Soviet regime"  (retronaut.co) (47)
(Some Guy) Fail If you are flying in a Cessna with 40 pounds of pot, you should try to stay out of the same air space as the President of the United States  (losangeles.cbslocal.com) (47)


Thu February 16, 2012
(Some Guy) Florida Not news: Man found guilty of trespassing. Florida: so he drinks poison  (wiod.com) (29)
(Space) Cool World's first space robot signs "Hello, World". Expected to find Sarah Connor, solve FizzBuzz in less than twelve parsecs  (space.com) (26)


Tue February 14, 2012
(BBC) Hero Remembering the first USAAF casualty in WW2: a nude-sunbathing, polo-playing risk-taker who once borrowed a Russian fighter plane to attack German Messerschmitt 109s during the Spanish Civil War  (bbc.co.uk) (50)
(Fark) Hero From all of us who enjoy working and dining in fine restaurants to amateur VD diners: Leave your demon spawn with a sitter and remember to tip decently. Stay home or get takeout if you can't afford either. Thanks  (fark.com) (705)
(The Inquirer) Unlikely Hotmail and Gmail are matched at blocking spam. Hotmail still better at creating spam  (theinquirer.net) (39)
(Marketwatch) Fail Moody's downgrades Spain's credit rating to bull  (marketwatch.com) (13)


Mon February 13, 2012
(Fox News) Interesting Something called MySpace announces it signed up 1 million new members in December. This could be the start of something big  (foxnews.com) (80)
(CBS Sports) Dumbass Former Memphis basketball player Roburt Sallie cut by his Spanish Basketball League team for taking performance enhancing drugs. And by "performance-enhancing" they mean penis enlargers  (cbssports.com) (13)
(Washington Free Beacon) Sad A look into how the most transparent administration in history functions  (freebeacon.com) (134)


Sat February 11, 2012
(BBC) Interesting Five reporters at a Newcorp owned newspaper arrested over bribing public officials. The Sun will be there once it gets bail money  (bbc.co.uk) (28)
(Breitbart.com) Silly "Star Trek: The Original Series is the one time Hollywood got conservative ideas right." Yeah, pretty sure Republicans weren't too happy about the interracial kiss or sparing the Halkans  (bighollywood.breitbart.com) (186)
(YouTube) Spiffy Vintage Raquel Welch doing her Space-Girl Dance. I'll be in my bunk  (youtube.com) (29)


Fri February 10, 2012
(Guardian) Amusing Falkland Islands newspaper editor calls Argentine President Cristina Fernández de Kirchner a biatch. With picture showing what the real issue might be  (guardian.co.uk) (78)
(Philly.com) Interesting According to the scienticians at Philly's leading newspaper, younger women who like guys with money and older men who like younger women can now meet on the internet  (philly.com) (24)
(io9) Obvious Why doesn't anyone on Deep Space Nine use Twitter?  (io9.com) (107)
(Reuters) Fail Romanian man accused of hacking into NASA computers would be serious news if Romania had any sort of space program  (reuters.com) (9)


Thu February 09, 2012
(Topless Robot) Cool The ten best Sierra adventure games. This list will make you want to dust off those old copies of Space Quest  (toplessrobot.com) (157)


Wed February 08, 2012
(New York Daily News) Strange San Francisco Airport decides that spending a few hours in an enclosed space seated next to a sweaty person who just came from a yoga studio should nicely add to your travel experience  (nydailynews.com) (15)
(CNN) Obvious Santorum claims that the GOP race is in "No Man's Land"--you know, that thing from World War I that was the ultimate sign of despair, foreboding, and hopelessness  (cnn.com) (44)


Tue February 07, 2012
(Washington Post) Silly Marvel Comics "refreshes" the origin story of Fantastic Four with tablet PCs and cell phones to be more modern. Still no explanation of how Americans are launched into space in 2012  (washingtonpost.com) (70)


Mon February 06, 2012
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Daredevil, who obviously has a death wish, is preparing to break the sound barrier with a leap from the edge of space from 23 miles high, not deploying his parachute until he's 5000 feet from the ground  (dailymail.co.uk) (198)
(Some Guy) Amusing Sex Week vs. True Love Week, otherwise known as the loose free for all's against the prudes sparks debate on Yale campus  (nbcconnecticut.com) (127)


Fri February 03, 2012
(Some Guy) Fail London's first "shared space" road is a misery for drivers, blind people, and cleaners, but at least it looks weird  (thisislondon.co.uk) (107)
(KTLA) Amusing Jack Sparrow injured "in the fight that included Cat Woman, an alien and a second pirate"  (ktla.com) (10)


Thu February 02, 2012
(Some Guy) Video Danish animation school decides to place every popular 80's cartoon opening in a blender, resulting in a fine paste known as Space Stallions  (awesome-robo.com) (29)


Wed February 01, 2012
(The Sun) Followup UK remains in full EVERYBODY PANIC mode as temperatures plunge to 14°F, which newspaper notes is colder than Antarctica (where it is currently summer)  (thesun.co.uk) (99)
(Some Guy) Fail Don't you hate when you get wrongfully arrested as a pedophile and have your face plastered on all the newspapers? Again?  (kfoxtv.com) (45)
(Science Daily) Spiffy Not to alarm anyone, but deep space particles are invading the solar system. And they're definitely not self-assembling near Jupiter into an autonomous, horrifying death ship of staggering power  (sciencedaily.com) (28)
(Telegraph) Interesting Keira Knightley claims Brits are 'obsessed with spanking'. Giggity  (telegraph.co.uk) (59)
(Discover) Cool What the COOL tab was made for: moonset as seen from the International Space Station  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (18)


Tue January 31, 2012
(BBC) Fail Fourth-largest Spanish airline collapses. You'll have to forgive them; they're from Barcelona  (bbc.co.uk) (38)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Alec Baldwin lost 30 pounds after discovering he was prediabetic. Or postdiabetic, Dr. Spaceman always gets those two confused  (dailymail.co.uk) (48)


Mon January 30, 2012
(Some Guy) Unlikely Embattled Real Madrid coach Jose Mourinho tired of drama in Spain, allegedly has decided to return to English Premier League this summer. Immortal quote: "It's not about the money"  (adifferentleague.co.uk) (39)


Sun January 29, 2012
(Toronto Star) Followup Aviation experts warn: don't try to launch your own half-assed "experiments" into space, they could bring down commercial aircrafts  (thestar.com) (141)

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