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Headlines matching 'sons'
Mon May 28, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(io9) Amusing 10 perfectly logical reasons Superman's a dick  (io9.com) (10)
(Miami Herald) Followup Police state that naked man eating another naked man's face is certainly a rare occurrence. "Other theories abounded, of course, sometimes leading to comparisons to one horror-movie staple, zombies"  (miamiherald.com) (55)


Thu May 24, 2012
(New York Daily News) Fail A&E cancels "Dog the Bounty Hunter" after eight seasons, or 56 in human years  (nydailynews.com) (64)


Wed May 23, 2012
(Houston Chronicle) Obvious "The Big Bang Theory" actor Jim Parsons reveals that he has no interest in bazingas  (blog.chron.com) (220)
(wcvb boston) Fail It's nice gesture when you want to help a young student remove a loose tooth. If you do help, just make sure you pull the tooth that's actually loose  (wcvb.com) (41)
(NFL) Amusing Tom Brady's father does not know his son plays football  (nfl.com) (29)
(KREM) Weird Selling your breast milk online comes with certain pitfalls, not least of which is having men buy it for "health reasons"  (krem.com) (48)
(Huffington Post) Asinine You save your five-year-old from falling off a cliff, but lose your Jeep over the edge? That'll be two tickets. One of which is failure to show insurance card, which is now at the bottom of a lake  (huffingtonpost.com) (121)


Tue May 22, 2012
(NPR) Interesting Mainstream media: LOL, Ron Paul thinks he can get enough delegates to win nomination . NPR: Actually, yes, for his son Rand in 2016  (npr.org) (57)
(CNN) Obvious Leftist candidate for Mexican congress gives voters two reasons to support her  (cnn.com) (121)
(TMZ) Fail Snooki announces she won't take part in season six of Jersey Shore. That show has had six seasons? Really?  (tmz.com) (23)


Mon May 21, 2012
(ABC27) Dumbass "So how did this vehicle crash ma'am?" "My 8 year old son was playing in it while it was in park, and it somehow got off that and crashed"  (abc27.com) (24)


Sun May 20, 2012
(Huffington Post) Scary Wisconsin woman collects cash from relatives to bail out her son. Drug dog inspection finds same traces of cocaine found on every bill in America. Cops seize money for department eclair fund  (huffingtonpost.com) (144)


Fri May 18, 2012
(ESPN) Sad Women's Professional Soccer league permanently disbands after three seasons. Fan distraught  (espn.go.com) (68)
(KTLA) Followup Man who sewed son's buttocks shut avoids any time in the hole  (ktla.com) (60)


Thu May 17, 2012
(CSMonitor) Cool ATTENTION DC FARKERS: Betty White will be at the National Zoo tomorrow. Line up and take your best shot, boys  (csmonitor.com) (41)
(Entertainment Weekly) Amusing Will Smith's kung fu son gets right to the point and asks President Obama about the space aliens  (popwatch.ew.com) (83)


Wed May 16, 2012
(C|Net) Interesting Five lessons from a lost iPhone. I'd tell you them myself, but... uh... I lost my iPhone  (news.cnet.com) (37)


Tue May 15, 2012
(Some Guy) Obvious Git out yer tinfoil hats, boys. This hyar is a list o' lies that the gubment media tells 'bout us  (gunsandammo.com) (229)
(Buzzfeed) Amusing 21 reasons why old time baseball ruled, including a time travelling Casey Affleck  (buzzfeed.com) (8)
(Townhall) Obvious 5 Reasons America Is In Decline...1 - Democrats 2 - Liberal Democrats 3 - Progressive Democrats 4 - Socialist Democrats 5 - RINO Democrats  (townhall.com) (94)
(ESPN) Sick Torii Hunter's son arrested for playing in the minors  (espn.go.com) (43)


Mon May 14, 2012
(NJ.com) Obvious Survivor concludes with only hot women in the finals. In other news, Mark Burnett continues to troll America for 24 seasons  (nj.com) (74)


Sun May 13, 2012
(AZCentral) Interesting Now it's getting interesting: Ron Paul supporters boo Mitt Romney's son off the stage at the Arizona Republican Party convention. "The white Obama"  (azcentral.com) (383)
(Courier Mail) Unlikely Mother is stunned to discover her son was exposed to pornographic images during a sleepover with other junior high boys. "I am devastated at the loss of his innocence"  (couriermail.com.au) (168)


Fri May 11, 2012
(WTOP) Unlikely DC's mayor wants you to know that, sure, he's given his son and daughter thousands of dollars worth of Verizon Center Sky Suite tickets to see acts like Jay-Z, Kanye West, and Britney Spears, but that was all totally to help the city  (wtop.com) (50)
(The Sun) Spiffy Emma Watson has signed up for pole dancing lessons in order to pass ... the time... while she's working on .... should I even bothering typing the rest of this headline?  (thesun.co.uk) (130)


Thu May 10, 2012
(Gawker) Weird Mom puts boob in giant preschool son's mouth on cover of Time and you've clicked the link waka waka waka  (gawker.com) (435)
(MSNBC) Obvious Lessons learned from inmate's challenge to Obama in West Virginia? 1: They're stupid in WV, 2: See 1  (nbcpolitics.msnbc.msn.com) (65)


Wed May 09, 2012
(Calgary Herald .com) Interesting "Born-again atheists are as irritating as born-again religious persons"  (calgaryherald.com) (660)


Mon May 07, 2012
(Billings Gazette) Strange Naked, screaming and pouring gasoline on everything in your garage is no way keep your probation from being revoked, son  (billingsgazette.com) (7)
(SportsGrid) Amusing Son of L.A. Clippers' Chris Paul imitates Blake Griffin, and it is hilarious  (sportsgrid.com) (43)


Sun May 06, 2012
(BBC) Spiffy Chelsea and Liverpool try and prove the seasons isn't a complete loss, a Manchester team slips up and Wenger flaps his arms. Its a joint FA Cup Final and weekend EPL thread. Let the banter commence  (bbc.co.uk) (416)


Sat May 05, 2012
(UPI) Interesting Man astounded to find live turtle his son carved his initials into 47 years ago -- but c'mon, just how far do you expect a turtle to travel in that length of time?  (upi.com) (79)
(Hartford Courant) Cool We can buy beer on Sundays, and now can get a prescription for marijuana in Connecticut. FINALLY there's reasons to stay in the Nutmeg state  (courantblogs.com) (40)
(Some Guy) Interesting Reasons to be Amish: No asthma and no allergies. Reasons not to be Amish: Electricity and alcohol  (yourhealth.com.sg) (79)
(Huffington Post) Sad Trebek: "And the answer is, 'This longtime game show host will be retiring after 30 seasons on the air'  (huffingtonpost.com) (111)


Fri May 04, 2012
(Daily Star) Stupid Selfish mother refuses to admit her clinically obese son is fat (with offensive pic of huge child)  (dailystar.co.uk) (182)
(Newser) Followup Mark Zuckerberg has about a billion reasons to love the new Facebook IPO  (newser.com) (19)
(Daily Kos) Asinine Annual review by the Arizona state government shows that privatized prisons are actually costing the state more than state run prisons while lacking in actual security. Incensed by this, state legislators take bold action...by ending the study  (dailykos.com) (84)


Tue May 01, 2012
(The New York Times) Strange High school girl decides that just because her religion forbids dating, or even dancing with boys, that's no reason she shouldn't be able to buy an expensive prom dress--so she organizes an "all-girl prom"  (nytimes.com) (233)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Doubtful News thanks FARK for the story about a father who tried to sacrifice his 8-year-old son at the cemetery  (doubtfulnews.com) (1)
(io9) Interesting Five scientific explanations for Game of Thrones' messed-up seasons  (io9.com) (197)


Mon April 30, 2012
(Gizmodo) Cool Mom makes her son's school lunch look like awesome art  (gizmodo.com) (36)
(Yahoo) Dumbass The state of Parenting 2012: Dear Abby, whenever my eight-year-old son loses a game, he takes his anger out by beating our dog. He'll be mad at me if I put him in therapy, so how do I convince my wife to get rid of the dog?  (news.yahoo.com) (345)
(NBC San Diego) Strange Not news: Father brings son to cemetery. Fark: To sacrifice him  (nbcsandiego.com) (65)


Fri April 27, 2012
(Daily Mail) Asinine Parents sue because their snowflake was kicked out of an honors English class after he was caught cheating. Fark: He had signed an Academy Honesty Pledge which warned that cheating was grounds for immediate removal from the class  (dailymail.co.uk) (200)


Wed April 25, 2012
(Yahoo) Sick It's not bullying when teachers do it, right? Bonus: autism. Super secret bonus: audio  (shine.yahoo.com) (273)


Tue April 24, 2012
(Slate) Amusing Good morning, class. Today we are going to review the complete history of The Simpsons' dissing the Fox network, even though we can all agree than the disses after season 12 weren't as good  (slate.com) (22)


Mon April 23, 2012
(Cracked) Interesting Remember Highlights magazine? Here are 5 Depressing Lessons you may have learned from it  (cracked.com) (120)
(The Raw Story) Scary Father to four-year-old: No son, I won't buy you a PlayStation. Kid: BOOM, HEADSHOT  (rawstory.com) (109)
(NYPost) Obvious After tonight's game against the Philadelphia 76ers and 35 seasons, it's goodbye New Jersey Nets. Don't let the door hit you in the ass  (nypost.com) (58)


Sat April 21, 2012
(Deadspin) Cool Oregon father and son build 1/3-scale Fenway Park replica on their farm. Shoeless Joe Jackson approves  (deadspin.com) (29)
(CBS News) Scary Jail, it's not just for potheads. Debtor prisons, you owe, you owe, it's off to jail you go  (cbsnews.com) (198)
(Some Guy) Strange Man becomes irate after learning the officer coming to his aid was not the Son of God, steals his car  (jacksonsun.com) (11)


Fri April 20, 2012
(Topless Robot) Obvious Five reasons why Mike is better than Joel on "Mystery Science Theater 3000"  (toplessrobot.com) (202)
(Topless Robot) Obvious Five reasons why Joel is better than Mike on "Mystery Science Theater 3000"  (toplessrobot.com) (41)


Thu April 19, 2012
(Grantland) Unlikely Want to see reasons why the top prospects should not be drafted? Check this out, it compares Andrew Luck to Todd Marinovich  (grantland.com) (27)
(YouTube) Cool 25 years ago today, the first Simpsons short aired during the Tracy Ullman show. 25 years ago tomorrow, the first complaint that The Simpsons isn't as good as it used to be  (youtube.com) (76)
(Yahoo) Fail Hindu God Ganesh, minus two of his arms, mysteriously turns up in museum parking lot after owner pays some guy to dispose of it. The Simpsons did not do this one yet  (ca.news.yahoo.com) (43)
(WISHTV) Interesting Three men file suit against the producers of the TV show "The Bachelor" accusing them racial bias. Producers say the charges are ridiculous and it's total coincidence that in 23 seasons they've never had a minority lead  (wishtv.com) (92)
(Business Insider) Scary Starting in 2015 your car will record every action you take. The government and police will never ever abuse this data or use it for personal reasons. Pinky swear  (businessinsider.com) (178)


Wed April 18, 2012
(Huffington Post) Obvious Fifty-three reasons why we need a new Star Trek TV show. Make it so  (huffingtonpost.com) (142)


Fri April 13, 2012
(My Fox DC) Followup Matt Groening: "I never said Springfield [from 'The Simpsons'] was in Oregon; I said Springfield was the name of my sled"  (myfoxdc.com) (82)


Wed April 11, 2012
(New York Daily News) Followup After 11 days and 1.8 million views, college baseball player who delivered cheap blindside hit cowardly leaves college "for safety reasons"  (nydailynews.com) (102)


Mon April 09, 2012
(CNN) Sick "I wont get caught im a hacker I covered my tracks." Should have used an 8th proxy  (cnn.com) (148)


Sun April 08, 2012
(ESPN) Cool For the second year in a row, the Vancouver Canucks take the Presidents trophy. Now that the rules change the reasons why they won't win the cup will be to the right  (sports.espn.go.com) (85)


Thu April 05, 2012
(Pro Football Talk) Sad Nothing will one day let a grown son get to know his dad, dying of ALS, than a defensive coordinator urging his players to injure players. Sad tag trumps follow-up   (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com) (66)
(io9) Interesting 10 reasons naked mole rats will inherit the Earth. Apparently looking like a wang is an evolutionary advantage  (io9.com) (21)


Wed April 04, 2012
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Hero Church school forces high school seniors to listen to talk where homosexuality is compared to bestiality and adopted kids are called "sociologically unstable". Seniors give school history, decorum lessons  (startribune.com) (344)
(Paste Magazine) Interesting Finally, a band that really could be the next Beatles  (pastemagazine.com) (133)


Mon April 02, 2012
(cbs local) Asinine Like there weren't enough reasons not to live in Passaic, New Jersey, officials now plan to charge for emergency calls  (newyork.cbslocal.com) (47)
(Talking Points Memo) Stupid Mitt Romney's son slams "lib media" for mocking George Romney on Mad Men  (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) (236)
(Daily Mail) Followup Private investigator says that OJ Simpson didn't kill Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman...it was none other than...THE BUTLER. No, just kidding, he claims OJ's son did it  (dailymail.co.uk) (231)


Sun April 01, 2012
(Boomstick Comics) Cool Netflix picks up Firefly for two more seasons. Browncoats unite  (boomstickcomics.com) (206)


Sat March 31, 2012
(Smh.com.au) Amusing Father busts son wagging school at an internet cafe. Does he a) ground his son for a month b) cancel his pocket money c) chain him by the neck to a power pole. w/ pic  (smh.com.au) (33)
(Yahoo) Unlikely Five reasons you didn't really want to win all that lottery money  (finance.yahoo.com) (114)


Fri March 30, 2012
(Quad City Times) Asinine Out of 102 applicants, the University of Iowa hired Brian Ferentz as their offensive line coach. He'll be paid over $200,000 for his "job," and I'm sure the fact he's the head coach's son had nothing to do with it  (qctimes.com) (51)
(Slate) Interesting Mother distraught over son being fat, lazy, uneducated ... and completely happy. Apparently, it IS a good way to go through life  (slate.com) (135)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Sometimes the headlines just write themselves: "Pop-and-son pillbilly snowbirds driving stolen methmobile"   (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com) (36)
(Some Guy) Asinine You think your son's new roommate might be gay. Do you: a) accept it, b) ask your son if this a roommate or a "roommate," or c) attack him with a cane?  (nbcdfw.com) (200)


Wed March 28, 2012
(BBC) Sad Daughters Disguised: The Afghan girls who are dressed and raised as boys  (bbc.co.uk) (95)
(STLToday) Sick There are many ways a mother can build attachments with her son. Forcing him to eat screws is not one  (stltoday.com) (26)


Tue March 27, 2012
(Some Guy) Plug New book coming out by Zack Parsons, author of "My Tank Is Fight!" This one is called Liminal States, and comes with its own music video  (liminalstates.com) (38)
(truTV) Asinine Very brilliant kid's dad invents Mentos-powered soda dispenser, it seems  (blog.trutv.com) (17)
(WebProNews) Spiffy WebProNews credits FARK as the source for the 130 episodes of the Simpsons simultaneously video  (webpronews.com) (0)


Mon March 26, 2012
(TechEBlog) Amusing 10 reasons why you shouldn't use the iPad as a camera  (techeblog.com) (67)
(Forbes) Obvious Three reasons to uphold Obamacare  (forbes.com) (45)
(Forbes) Unlikely Three reasons to overturn Obamacare  (forbes.com) (34)


Sat March 24, 2012
(YouTube) Video 130 episodes of The Simpsons, running simultaneously side-by-side for three minutes and 20 seconds. Why? Why not?  (youtube.com) (28)
(Grantland) Fail Sixty reasons why Fark's favorite Warriors fan huffs paint (bonus: not a slideshow)  (grantland.com) (31)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Former NYC traffic commissioner has a BRILLIANT new plan to put tolls on East River bridges that includes a first-ever toll for bicyclists. Probably one of the reasons he's a 'former' traffic commissioner  (newyork.cbslocal.com) (64)


Wed March 21, 2012
(News.com.au) Stupid Teenagers are learning how to iron, sew and make the bed as part of a school curriculum designed to turn boys into "men". Pretty men with soft hands and delicate smiles that we know get all the girls  (news.com.au) (280)
(Mental Floss) Silly Have a son or else you will probably get divorced: 7 ways to save your marriage  (mentalfloss.com) (43)
(College Humor) Amusing 10 reasons why The Walking Dead should kill Carl. "Worst Child Actor Since Jake Lloyd" strangely missing  (collegehumor.com) (449)
(Some Guy) Followup Some things in life are just inevitable... the sun rises, the seasons change, and FARK's favorite spray paint connoisseur, Patrick Tribett, will be arrested for huffing paint  (wvjails.info) (124)
(Daily Kos) Asinine Son of former House of Representatives gets 14 year old drunk, rapes her, has a friend video tape the event, drops her off in the lawn, and walks away with a midemeanor charge two months later. For some reason people have a problem with this  (dailykos.com) (183)


Tue March 20, 2012
(ktuu.com) Scary Body found in North Pole snowbank, police checking naughty list for missing persons  (ktuu.com) (30)


Mon March 19, 2012
(Forbes) Obvious Top 10 reasons the most talented employees leave a company, boiled down to one: Lumbergh  (forbes.com) (73)
(Daily Mail) Strange When the son of a celebrity turns 25, they usually receive a new car, vacation home, or at least have a huge party. But then, if you're Kris Jenner, you give your son a mostly-nude pic of yourself. "Gee, thanks Mom"  (dailymail.co.uk) (51)
(NFL) Cool "I don't care if the guy was in triple coverage. When you have a few seasons under your belt, you'll understand that sometimes you just gotta unleash the dargon"  (nfl.com) (58)


Sat March 17, 2012
(Huffington Post) Obvious Ten reasons why the world sees America as a bunch of bat sh*t crazy loons  (huffingtonpost.com) (645)


Fri March 16, 2012
(Gizmodo) Cool Fricken laser beams sold separately  (gizmodo.com) (16)


Thu March 15, 2012
(Daily Kos) Obvious Ron Paul is offering his delegates to Mitt Romney in exchange for a spot on the ticket...for his son. But they're not colluding or anything  (dailykos.com) (103)
(Forbes) Cool Five lessons in leadership from James T. Kirk. A good hairpiece strangely absent  (forbes.com) (42)


Wed March 14, 2012
(Kansas City) Hero What's your anti-drug? An angry mom with an aluminum baseball bat  (kansascity.com) (157)
(Short List) Spiffy The Queen chews off her own son's balls as hardman Prince Harry appears in post-apocalyptic zombie comic. One is most amused  (shortlist.com) (15)


Mon March 12, 2012
(Entertainment Weekly) Cool Sofia Vergara will give us two reasons to watch Saturday Night Live on April 7th  (insidetv.ew.com) (60)
(charlotte observer) Obvious "In defeat, the Tar Heels failed to avenge the 90-57 loss they suffered at Florida State on Jan. 14. That defeat was the most lopsided of Roy Williams' nine seasons as Tar Heels coach"  (charlotteobserver.com) (44)
(Telegram) Dumbass Bad: Getting your 16-year-old son drunk. Worse: Taking it upon yourself to give him a tattoo. FARK: Misspelling the word "Juggalo" on said tattoo  (telegram.com) (214)
(The Sun) Sad Mom: Can we be adults and get over this feud? Son: This is because I won the lottery, isn't it? You get nothing, good day sir  (thesun.co.uk) (170)


Sat March 10, 2012
(WTSP) Amusing Woman gives birth to 14 lb. son. Her reaction? "How'd he fit?"  (wtsp.com) (106)
(The Street) Obvious Ten reasons Obama will not be re-elected. Suck it, libs  (thestreet.com) (256)
(CNN) Unlikely Michael Madsen arrested, and from the photo, it looks like after a scuffle with his bros outside the Viper Room  (edition.cnn.com) (52)


Fri March 09, 2012
(TMZ) Interesting Coolio's son goes on a fantastic voyage. Side slide slippity slides to jail  (tmz.com) (22)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida "Eight reasons why Peyton Manning and the Dolphins are a good fit." Missing from the list: even with a neck injury, he'd still be the best player on the team  (sun-sentinel.com) (40)
(WHDH) Dumbass Boys engage in friendly game of "seeing who could throw a large rock the farthest". What could possibly go wrong?  (www1.whdh.com) (52)


Thu March 08, 2012
(Forbes) Hero 218 reasons why Obama is destroying America as we know it  (forbes.com) (223)
(NYPost) Followup WNBC admits it had at least five million reasons not to rehire Sue Simmons  (nypost.com) (24)


Wed March 07, 2012
(SanDiegoUnionTribune) Dumbass Robbing churches while running around in a tutu and tights with your junk hanging out is no way to go through life, son  (utsandiego.com) (29)


Mon March 05, 2012
(io9) Amusing The Simpsons, a la "Game of Thrones"  (io9.com) (27)
(Mother Nature Network) Strange Whaling supplies, clarinet lessons, cat food, and other strange but perfectly legal tax write-offs that work  (mnn.com) (10)


Sun March 04, 2012
(Fox News) Strange Nissan to revive beloved "Datsun" brand for new line of cheap vehicles to be sold in emerging markets, despite 210 reasons not to  (foxnews.com) (75)


Thu March 01, 2012
(Mediaite) Scary Creepiest interview ever: Rhode Island Senate candidate appears to be puppeteering son  (mediaite.com) (134)
(Buzzfeed) Sappy The Simpsons grow up, in the form of 35 greeting cards. Bonus: Lisa has an "experimental" phase in college  (buzzfeed.com) (78)
(AlterNet) Amusing Erect nipple gazebos, and eight other reasons political slams used to be better than in the sad-sack GOP primary  (alternet.org) (14)


Wed February 29, 2012
(NJ.com) Strange "Moooooom, some guys beat me up on the basketball court." "Get the club and knife, it's PAYBACK TIME"  (nj.com) (18)
(Sun Sentinel) Interesting Experts predict less intense hurricane seasons for the next few years. EVERYBODY PANIC downgraded to everybody panic  (sun-sentinel.com) (57)


Tue February 28, 2012
(Some Guy) Interesting Six reasons why you shouldn't weigh yourself. "The scale doesn't go up that high" conspicuously absent  (jillfit.com) (139)
(Slate) Sad "Rick Santorum, meet my son; he has a degenerative disease that's left him blind, paralyzed, and increasingly nonresponsive. If I had known before he was born, I would have saved him from suffering"  (slate.com) (572)


Sat February 25, 2012
(MSNBC) Scary Eight reasons why gas prices will hit $5/gallon this year. "Because fark you, that's why" suspiciously absent  (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com) (299)


Fri February 24, 2012
(Yahoo) Obvious At least one business in Greece is booming: German lessons  (news.yahoo.com) (44)
(BBC) Sick Asinine: Councillor celebrated his re-election by sexually assaulting a schoolgirl at a drunken party. Classy: Blames his sons and their friends for child porn on his PC. Bonus: Was Chairman of Child Welfare Committee  (bbc.co.uk) (22)


Thu February 23, 2012
(Philly.com) Amusing Don't click this link, don't read the story, and don't look at the mugshot  (philly.com) (131)


Wed February 22, 2012
(Gothamist) Amusing Over 40 years before the Jetsons and flying cars, the people of 1919 NYC were planning circular runways around Manhattan for commuters' personal airplanes  (gothamist.com) (43)
(Short List) Unlikely Scientists call for dolphins to be classified as "non-human persons", which would place them above Kardashians, Lohans and the cast, crew and fans of Jersey Shore  (shortlist.com) (54)


Mon February 20, 2012
(Deadspin) Interesting How they made the greatest Simpsons episode of all-time, "Homer At The Bat," which premiered 20 years ago tonight  (deadspin.com) (247)
(NJ.com) Dumbass Fines for cheating on $21K in tolls = $102K. Using your mom's car so she's the one who owes the money = priceless  (nj.com) (70)
(A Theater Near You) Sappy Richard is a white supremacist down on his luck. Robert is a black inner-city gang member just looking to make it big. But this February, these enemies are about to learn some wacky new lessons about meth-cooking... and friendship  (newstribune.com) (42)


Sun February 19, 2012
(Some Guy) Hero "I said, 'F-- you, you son of a biatch, now it's my turn.'"  (marinij.com) (178)
(Daily Mail) Cool Man fits a custom VW camper van to his scooter  (dailymail.co.uk) (12)
(BBC) Spiffy Can Arsenal, Chelsea, or Liverpool salvage their pathetic seasons? Can Crawley or Stevenage slay a giant? The FA Cup fifth round is here  (bbc.co.uk) (222)


Sat February 18, 2012
(Huffington Post) Weird Quite inexplicably, The Simpsons have hit 500 episodes despite losing relevance and humor 360 episodes ago  (huffingtonpost.com) (139)


Fri February 17, 2012
(Quad City Times) Scary Iowa woman stuck in sewer opening for 24 hours, but not for the usual reasons  (qctimes.com) (41)
(Daily Mail) Scary Among all the bad things a mother can tell to their son, "Your father was Hitler" probably ranks in the top 7. With bonus HOLY FARK HITLER'S SON photo  (dailymail.co.uk) (114)
(NYPost) Sad Son of the year celebrates his mother's 98th birthday by: a) buying flowers, b) taking her out to dinner or c) serving eviction papers to kick her out of the house she has lived in since 1953?  (nypost.com) (45)
(Daily Mail) Scary Ladies and gentlemen, Frontier Airlines regrets to announce your flight maybe slightly delayed for technical reasons-namely that the pilot is hammered  (dailymail.co.uk) (45)


Wed February 15, 2012
(Click Orlando) Sick Rick Flair apparently stole $4,000 from her son while he was deployed  (clickorlando.com) (104)
(Yahoo) Interesting Proving that trolling may be genetic, Oliver Stone's son announces he converted to Islam--in Tehran  (news.yahoo.com) (69)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Airport security makes MILF go through body scanner three times, for obvious reasons (w/pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (158)


Tue February 14, 2012
(CSMonitor) Scary Five reasons the federal budget is so farked not even Ron Paul can save it  (csmonitor.com) (204)


Mon February 13, 2012
(The Mercury) Silly If you are Australia's most notorious hired gun, brag about having killed 19 people, and go by the nickname "Chopper", your son's Little Athletics group probably won't let you anywhere near the starter's pistol  (themercury.com.au) (39)
(Statesman) Dumbass Trading crack for a lapdance, yelling racial slurs, assaulting police, spitting blood, and beating your own head into unconsciousness inside the police car is no way to go through life, son  (statesman.com) (64)
(LA Times) Stupid Hugh Hefner's son accused of abusing a woman. Meanwhile, Hef's girlfriends have to see him naked  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (39)
(Salon) Silly Today's Fark-ready headline: "Lessons of a very sexy pirate costume"  (salon.com) (107)


Sun February 12, 2012
(SB Sun) Dumbass You gonna disrespect me by declining my credit card, that's a stabbing  (sbsun.com) (60)


Fri February 10, 2012
(Des Moines Register) Stupid The good news is girls are no longer dumber than boys when it comes to math and science. The bad news: Both sexes are pretty dumb when it comes to math and science  (desmoinesregister.com) (32)


Wed February 08, 2012
(Washington Post) Unlikely Democratic congressional chairman wants you to know that the millions he sent a state agency was for society's good, not to get his son a $129,000 per year job. And the fact that his son left as soon as he lost the chairmanship? Coincidence  (washingtonpost.com) (36)


Tue February 07, 2012
(CNN) Sick That guy suspected of killing his wife and who blew up himself and his two sons the other day - could it get more gruesome? Don't axe  (cnn.com) (195)


Mon February 06, 2012
(WPTV) Florida Honestly officer, my daughter with cerebral palsy said I could take 40 grand from her special needs account so my son and I could buy trucks  (wptv.com) (52)
(Some Guy) Strange Movies banned in foreign countries for weird reasons  (flavorwire.com) (10)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass "We always get drunk together," says a) a college student about his best friend, b) a bride-to-be about her maid of honor, or c) a mother about her 11-year-old son?  (dailymail.co.uk) (47)


Sun February 05, 2012
(SLTrib) Scary For all those who have wished Josh Powell would diaf, here ya go  (sltrib.com) (165)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Looks like Stella Hudgens has been taking attention whoring lessons from her big sister, Vanessa. She has learned well  (dailymail.co.uk) (113)


Sat February 04, 2012
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady)) Sick Parents and sons accused of stealing blind and deaf grandparents' credit card and ringing up $12,000 in purchases. W/ all in the family white trash mugshots  (dailygazette.com) (122)


Fri February 03, 2012
(Yahoo) Amusing This is why you don't let the inmates print the logos for the side of your police cars  (news.yahoo.com) (142)


Thu February 02, 2012
(Some Guy) Interesting Teen boy who had sex with his 36-year-old fitness trainer tells a judge his life is ruined because girls in his class want to date him because he's experienced and boys come to him for sexual advice  (thespectrum.com) (204)


Wed February 01, 2012
(Warming Glow) Fail Twelve reasons why NBC is a last place network. Come for their shiatty treatment of "Community," stay for their adoration of Dane Cook and Whitney Cummings  (warmingglow.uproxx.com) (135)


Tue January 31, 2012
(Boston Globe) Interesting Romney plays the "son of a poor Mexican polygamist" card, hoping to woo Latino voters without waking the slumbering dragon of Orly Taitz  (bostonglobe.com) (110)
(Some Guy) Interesting Julian Assange to appear on The Simpsons, sexually assault Miss Krabappel, leak all of Mr. Burns' secret files   (theclicker.today.msnbc.msn.com) (16)

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