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500 headlines found matching 'says'
Sun January 22, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(NPR)
 
 
 
Kellyanne Conway says Trump's plan to replace Obamacare involves turn Medicaid into a block grant program that States can run as they see fit. Or, as an"alternative fact", poor people are about to be screwed six ways to Sunday
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Trump waves around secret Obama letter left for him. Says he won't reveal what's inside, only to say that he's grateful for the letter. What could Obama possibly say in a letter that Trump would be so thankful?
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Robert Reich says he has it confirmed the GOP doesn't take Trump seriously and will only use him to push through their tax cuts, religious bills, and then when he missteps, they will impeach him because it's Pence they really want
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jewish Daily Forward)
 
 
 
Ann Coulter says women's marchers are like Nazis, which is a remarkable display of projection for a being that can't see itself in a mirror
source: forward.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
David Clarke, still saddened Trump didn't have a job for him, says he would rather "reach across the aisle and grab a Democrat by the throat" than work with them
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fox News says Trump and Spicer are wrong about inauguration crowd size. FOX NEWS. But some guy lied about the removal of the MLK bust, so there
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat January 21, 2017
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
Jesse Jackson says President Trump's speech full of "hope" and "inclusion"
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pro Football Talk)
 
 
 
Aaron Rodgers says if the Packers lose this weekend, it's because Atlanta cheats
source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Man takes his cat sledding down a snowy hill. Your cat snuggles deeper under the covers, says wake him in time for Caturday
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri January 20, 2017
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Ivanka Trump remains 'very good friends' with Chelsea Clinton, says they love to get together and dish on Meghan McCain
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Ravens owner says NFL games need to have fewer commercials. League immediately places him in concussion protocol
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Dear Deidre, I am having amazing sex with man twice my age who likes me dressed in schoolgirl uniform. He gives me money, but I've told him I don't like role-playing. He says he also sleeps with real 16-yo schoolgirl who doesn't complain. Help
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Johnny Manziel says he's a douche, has plans to get a job as the Consumer Reporter at KABC 7
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Bill O'Reilly says "powerful forces in the media" are conspiring to destroy Trump
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu January 19, 2017
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Chris Christie says he turned down several jobs in the Trump administration over wife's concerns of moving to Washington D.C.
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Owner of cobra farm isn't worried about getting bit, says knowing is half the battle
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 18, 2017
(ArtNet)
 
 
 
Auction house that sold Old Master painting for $842,500 now says it's fake. Oops
source: news.artnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TASS News Russia)
 
 
 
"The PEEOTUS is saying is that he has an enormous respect for the Russian people and the legacy of the relationship that the US has with Russia, which dates back to the Second World War," says Senior Trump Adviser unfamiliar with Cold War
source: tass.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Woman stabs man nine times when he says he won't commit to a relationship - as if that's going to change his mind
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
"I don't like Tweeting all the time. I have no choice though because I get bad press," says living orange echo chamber Donald Trump, who has yet to figure out that if he stopped Tweeting the bad press would decrease
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue January 17, 2017
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Judd Apatow says he will never do another broadcast show again, then gets asked about a reboot of Freaks & Geeks
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Putin says those circulating 'fake' claims about Trump are 'worse than prostitutes' (prices)
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Trump says his border tax plan is too complicated for him to understand (with helpful Hong Kong Phooey pic)
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon January 16, 2017
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
'Sherlock' showrunner says electing Trump might be 'the biggest mistake in human history.' Sunday's finale was arguably the second biggest
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CityMetric)
 
 
 
Amsterdam city council says it only wants wealthy tourists visiting it from now on. Too bad, hippies
source: citymetric.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Nicole Kidman says it's time for all Americans to support Donald Trump. Which is not exactly a ringing endorsement from someone who not only appeared with Tom Cruise in "Eyes Wide Shut" but also went on to marry him
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun January 15, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Storm Trumper Katrina Pierson makes her triumphant return to the Sunday news programs and says Donald Trump "gains power" by criticizing Civil Rights icon John Lewis
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat January 14, 2017
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Fiat Chrysler CEO says charges of cheating on emissions testing are "hogwash." Which brings up the question - Would you really want to buy a car from a company that still uses the word "hogwash"?
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri January 13, 2017
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Orangutan slaps tourist in the face for trying to take a selfie with him. Says tourist didn't even bother to ask plus he called me Trump and my hair is much better. It was quite an insult
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
Germany says it's OK to burn a synagogue as long as you are criticizing Israeli policy by doing so. So, if you have something against U.S. policy, it's OK to torch a Walmart? (assuming they have Walmarts in Germany)
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Justice department says Chicago PD is racist, practices unconstitutional policing. Well duh
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Nothing says 'wine connoisseur' like a box that can be slipped through your mail slot
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Australian man who installed the world's most annoying car horn - compared to 'an asthmatic playing a recorder' - says he has no regrets: "It does the job"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu January 12, 2017
(Adweek)
 
 
 
Digital publisher says he "wants to alter the perception of cannabis users". Wait, isn't that pretty much why they are smoking pot in the first place?
source: adweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGUN 9 Tucson)
 
 
 
ASU basketball coach Bobby Hurley clarifies his "farking Tucson" locker room comment in advance of rivalry game with UA, says he was trying to motivate his players the way Coach K taught him
source: kgun9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Not content with just poking the Panda, Rex Tillerson decides to steal its food and poop in its cage; Says China should be blocked from accessing the very islands it's preparing to go to war over
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 11, 2017
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Inviting people to step on your national flag is insulting? Who knew? Says Amazon incredulously
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
"It's never too early to start thinking about what I'll put up next Christmas," says man whose Satanic display in a public park to combat the Jesus stuff drew criticism, applause
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Science says it is actually totally OK if your New Year's resolution to work out daily only lasted 3 days
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
House Oversight Committee Chairman Jason Chaffetz says he "won't be a cheerleader for Donald Trump." Mostly because he's seen how Donald Trump reacts to anyone who is dressed like a cheerleader
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
You're in for a ride today as 4Chan says it made up the Golden Showers Trump report
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue January 10, 2017
(NPR)
 
 
 
Outgoing Labor secretary says Democratic leaders need to get back to basics, rediscover their commitment to the little guy unless a seven-figure job offer from Citigroup comes along first
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
That moment where your AG nominee says he'll prosecute pornography, and you've appeared in pornography
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Senator Jeff Sessions turns into a terrorist loving liberal, says waterboarding is illegal and opposes a blanket ban on Muslim visitors
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MoviePilot)
 
 
 
Frank Grillo says Crossbones is going to stay dead
source: moviepilot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If a bird flies up to you and says, "fark you," you might want to reflect upon your life
source: bestsourceoffun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Woman denied Swiss citizenship over campaign for less cowbell, says she's not giving up. But, for now, more cowbell
source: thelocal.ch   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon January 09, 2017
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
UK says it doesn't want any of the EU's bits, waves its Johnson at Congress. Saucy
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
DARPA's biotech chief says 2017 will "blow our minds." Via nanobot assassins, presumably
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(VG 24/7)
 
 
 
Bethesda's vice president says cancelling Doom 4 was "the right decision"
source: vg247.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
Kellyanne Conway explains that you're spending too much time listening to what Donald Trump says instead of examining what's truly in his heart
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Obama says he and Trump "Are sort of opposites". 'Obvious' tag doesn't even begin to cover this
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
With an astonishing tone-deafness to the irony, Mitch McConnell says that democrats need to "grow up and let Trump's nominees be confirmed"
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun January 08, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Exiled Hobbit and fifth-tier My Little Pony villain Reince Priebus says there is "no reason" to check Trump's cabinet picks for conflicts of interest, calls them a "waste of time"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Teen Vogue writer says "as if" to Pharma bro's desire to take her to Trump's inauguration. Tells him to date one of the patients he's ripping off
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Donald Trump says Britain is "very special," admits he's looking forward to meeting Theresa May
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat January 07, 2017
(Gizmodo UK)
 
 
 
Science says the black hole at the center of our galaxy is farting Neptune-sized gas balls at 20 million miles an hour. Sorry to get all technical-talky on a non-specialist sort of forum
source: gizmodo.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
The criminal who defaced the Hollywood sign to read "Hollyweed" says it wasn't vandalism
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Charles Manson back in prison, says he's glad to be out of Bakersfield
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri January 06, 2017
(Stereogum)
 
 
 
New documentary says David Bowie had no idea he was dying when he was recording Blackstar, and saying otherwise is just overstated narrative
source: stereogum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
'I'm a normal guy. I just fancy six-year-olds', says deviant freak who should be in jail
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
CIA: Russia hacked the DNC and fed the info to Wikileaks. Trump: Assange says it wasn't the Russians, it could have been anybody. What does the CIA know? CIA: to be specific it was Major Ivan Popov of the FSB who lives at 123 Lenin St, Moscow
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Razer pulls a Gillette and says, "Fark it, we're doing three screens"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Den Of Geek)
 
 
 
During a lunch break filming Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves, Kevin Costner says he went looking for magic mushrooms
source: denofgeek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
The CW decides to reboot "Charmed", this time set in the Super Seventies instead of the Nineties or modern times. Execs says this is unrelated to upcoming reboots of "Dynasty" and "The Lost Boys"
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
The internet is busy tracking everything Trump says so good luck on getting away with anything because your followers will be so angry when you lie. Yeah, nobody believes that, but if Trump followers weren't cult members, this would happen
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FanGraphs)
 
 
 
Matt Wieters, Orioles catcher prospect whom statheads slobbered over in 2009 thanks to his elite hitting and above-average catching, is today a ho-hum free agent because modern statistical analysis says he sucks at both hitting and catching
source: fangraphs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu January 05, 2017
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Greta Van Susteren now at MSNBC. Says she would have stayed at Fox if only Roger Ailes had done her like he'd done the other girls. It was very insulting
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Head of U.S. Intelligence, Clapper, applauds intelligence analysts. Says, Trump can be skeptical about intelligence without disparaging the entire community, but that would call for a careful approach which bull-in-a-china-shop Trump lacks
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Trump says he's a "big fan" of the US intelligence agencies, I mean , sure, he publicly dismissed their findings without reviewing the evidence, says Julain Assange is more credible than they are, and wants to completely re-vamp them, but a "big fan"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mic)
 
 
 
Federal Judge in TX says that laws forbidding gender discrimination in medical care violate doctors' religious freedom to refuse to treat women who have had abortions or transgendered patients. Well, I am sure the Supreme Court will... oh, hell
source: mic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
New NIH guidelines says you should give your babies peanuts, because they probably won't die from a peanut allergy. Probably
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
All those spy agencies Trump wants to gut and says don't have proof about Russia's hacking actually have that proof. Conclusively
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"I'm appalled and embarrassed," Ana Navarro says of Donald Trump's decision to ally himself with Julian Assange and completely ignore the CIA and things like evidence and proof
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Need something to give you hope for our politics in our nation? The Republican governor of Arkansas says the state should stop honoring Robert E. Lee on the same day as Martin Luther King because "it's the right thing to do"
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Trump announces his plan to gut the CIA, which he says is overfunded, overstaffed, and too political, which of course has nothing to do with the fact they know he's a Russian puppet and the CIA is good at dealing with the Russians
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Sun)
 
 
 
Queen of Sweden says palace is haunted but in the good kind of way. The ghosts are "small friends"
source: heraldsun.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 04, 2017
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
Kentucky judge says you can bribe the prosecutor to get out of a speeding ticket
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
New study says that it helps to sleep following a traumatic event. Finally an explanation why Democrats have been so hard to find since November
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
TV says to get my baby's mom jewelry if she's, "the best mom in the world". What should I get her if she the most mediocre mom (if that)?
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Brandon Marshall says the New York Jets season was like sitting on a wet diaper. Which is not a fair comparison, because even inside a diaper something actually runs
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Mike Huckabee visits Israel to "make Israel great again," then says there is no such thing as the West Bank
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue January 03, 2017
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Hue Jackson says the Cleveland Browns will not go 1-15 next season. This being the Browns, it means they'll probably go 0-16
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Israeli police question Prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu for more than three hours in connection with a criminal probe into graft and bribery. Netanyahu denies any wrongdoing says the cops are just being Antisemitic
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some guy from the 90's)
 
 
 
Trent Reznor just comes out and says it: yeah, we're basically done and going to start retreading our mid-90's stuff. This link is not sponsored by Hot Topic
source: alternativenation.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
China says some factories have violated anti-smog measures. Riiiight. "Some"
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Russian church official says Russia should bring back the Romanov monarchy or just make Putin emperor
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon January 02, 2017
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Nancy Pelosi says the "ball is in the GOP's court" over the Obamacare repeal, tries to gain points by using a sports metaphor
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun January 01, 2017
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The average person can't cope with four conversations at once. Four conversations at once is too much for the average person to deal with. Science says that anything more that three conversations is too much. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 30, 2016
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Lindsay Lohan says she wants to star in a "Mean Girls 2," presumably as the grandmother of her original character
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
4th grade teacher: So, I had the entire class write essays about how their classmate sucks. Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? Because that kid really sucks
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
"In season four, Sherlock is slightly less of a dick," says star Boobytrap Cabbagepatch
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Head of Chicago's police union says officers don't want to be disciplined for "hot mic" moments where they say things that might be hateful or racist. Ya don't say
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 29, 2016
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Brazil says the Greek ambassador is missing... a few brain cells, cause we just found him down at the Baklava shop, he forgot to charge his phone. It's so funny. Actually, he's been missing for three days
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
The other guy from WHAM says that reissue of Careless Whisper is "not an appropriate tribute" to George Michael
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Russian government says new US sanctions would harm "possible cooperation" between US and Russia
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Looking to boost season ticket sales, Joe Girardi says the Yankees will contend with the Red Sox for AL East title
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sentinel and Enterprise)
 
 
 
Man says he can't be guilty of road rage assault because he's a PETA member
source: sentinelandenterprise.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
New study says people who care for others tend to live longer. Except for Mel Gibson who doesn't care for anyone
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Australian Financial Review)
 
 
 
Here's what an MBA says about your boss, besides the fact they like to add up numbers and once had too much time on their hands
source: afr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Robber says he was just joking after store clerk takes his gun"
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 28, 2016
(Fox Sports)
 
 
 
Former NBA coach George Karl says the league has a problem with PEDs. As of yesterday, guns, assaults and marijuana still totally under control
source: foxsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Trump now says transition is going smoothly, hours after whining about how unsmoothly it was going
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nicolas Cage 'is worried that playing Ronald Reagan in a flattering light in upcoming movie could damage his career'. Yeah that says it all right there
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Rockette says she doesn't want to perform at 'monster' Donald Trump's inauguration
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
How many times can you play the Blues Brothers version of Rawhide on repeat before someone notices and says something? I've managed five full plays with no comment yet. Link goes to video clip of said song
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 27, 2016
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Harry the Hornet 'out of order' for mocking Wilfried Zaha after Watford vs Crystal Palace, says Sam Allardyce
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Miamians pretty much indistinguishable from other Americans, report says
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Trump says 'no way' Obama would have beat him. And the line is drawn
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 26, 2016
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Gorbachev says he expected Hillary Clinton to win the U.S. presidential race and was surprised by Trump's victory: "You know, Vladimir and I don't get along that well. He really doesn't tell me anything about what's going on"
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
NY Attorney General says Trump can't dissolve his foundation due to "conflict of interest" as a way to get around the fact it's being actively investigated for fraud
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun December 25, 2016
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Little girl shoots herself in the hand with her father's gun, asks the doctor, "Will I be able to play the violin?" Doc says, "Sure." Little girl says, "Great, my father will be charged with improper storage of a large capacity gun near a minor"
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Donald Trump says NBC "purposely misquoted" him on nuclear weapons, except they accurately quoted him
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Pope Francis says Christmas has been taken hostage by materialism
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 24, 2016
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Science says your grandparents are having the kind of mindblowing sex you could only dream of. Now you have something to talk about over Christmas dinner with the family
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 23, 2016
(Fox News)
 
 
 
John Mayer says he is no longer an "A" list celebrity. Apparently he was removed the day he stopped showing up at events escorting Taylor Swift, Katy Perry and Jennifer Aniston
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sauk Valley News)
 
 
 
New report says that despite the surge in online shopping, most Americans still prefer going to real stores. Mostly for speed, convenience, ease of shoplifting
source: saukvalley.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump says it's "ridiculous" his son has to shut down his charity. He probably thinks it's unpresidented too
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Broadway World)
 
 
 
The Rockettes have been informed that they are obligated to perform for Trump, because nothing says President Trump like a group of women forced against their will to dance in his presence
source: broadwayworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
"You can't regulate height of patriotism," says the veteran who planted a 40-foot flagpole in a town where the limit is 30-foot. "If I could afford a 60-foot flag pole, I would have bought it"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 22, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Walmart is no longer selling Bulletproof: Black Lives Matter shirts. Says the much more popular, "White Lives Matter a Bazillion Times More than Any Other Lives" shirt is flying off the shelves
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
WWE star Chyna died from toxic mix of alcohol and drugs, coroner says
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inverse)
 
 
 
Is Santa Claus a Daddy sex symbol? "Santa gets some folks wet in their Christmas stockings," Myers says. "A man confident enough to eat cookies and drink milk left by strangers is a man that's confident in the sack
source: inverse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Newt Gingrich admits his mistake, says Trump still wants to drain the swamp in Washington ...not realizing he's part of 'the swamp'
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
White male Donald Trump says his victory over first female candidate "shattered the glass ceiling for women", indicating that maybe English isn't Trump's native language after all
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Juneau Empire)
 
 
 
Government to survey property lines with GPS instead of traditional guy-holding-a-stick method. On the plus side, $60 Million in savings. On the down side, Apple maps says your house is an on-ramp
source: juneauempire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Soccer star "blacks" it up for Christmas party and doesn't understand why he's being called racist. Says, he's seen plenty of Mr. T movies and it seems OK there. Well, at least he has a sensible explanation
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCNC Charlotte)
 
 
 
Woman says a pet sitter she found on Craigslist sold her dogs. Your dog doesn't even want to use Craigslist for casual encounters
source: wcnc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
Kevin Costner says he's open to a 'Bull Durham' sequel with him as a manager. C'mon Ron Shelton, make it happen
source: mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Seattle Times says that Fark provides some holiday cheer with this headline: "Ezekiel Elliott scores touchdown, immediately donates self to Salvation Army"
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 21, 2016
(Metro)
 
 
 
EU court says the government has no right to look at your browsing history. So your love of Gilmore Girls fan fiction is safe, UK Farkers
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Lieutenant Gov. Calley says the mayor's comments about the disabled were bad, but why a war criminal would care about that kind of thing is anyone's guess
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 20, 2016
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Responding to Bill Clinton's criticism, Trump says Clinton "doesn't know much about winning". In related news: Don't miss "USA", the wacky new reality TV game show with your host Donald starting January 20th, 2017. USA - winning, whining, stigginit
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Prince Harry says that to be happier, you should spend less time on your smartphone and more time in your many castles frolicking with supermodels
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
'No way to prevent this' says region where this happens regularly
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 19, 2016
(CNN)
 
 
 
Obama grants clemency to 231, which is a record for one day. Trump says he'll grant pre-emptive clemency to all Trump family members because why wait until the last minute
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Rupert Murdoch says, Hey Guardian, I've never asked any Prime Minister for anything, unlike what you say in your paper. I have lackeys for that
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
"I'd be far more uncomfortable with the precedent of a wild Electoral College that simply dumps 200-plus years of history and decides on their own to invalidate the voters' will," says elector who will do exactly that
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Sylvester Stallone says he is "incredibly flattered" that his name has been put forward as a possible NEA head in the Trump administration but that "zous nawdle grebayna heyanda nowbu you know whadda mean?"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Donald Trump says he doesn't need big celebrities at his inauguration parties because he's big enough
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Man breaks into 'Sexy Salad' restaurant, eats food, urinates in a garbage can and falls asleep on the floor. Says establishment passes first test for holding a Fark party
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun December 18, 2016
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Jennifer Lawrence says she would rather appear in Guardians of the Galaxy than another X-Men movie
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Consequence of Sound)
 
 
 
Cee Lo Green says "Fark You Samsung, I'm not turning in my Note 7. What's the worst that could happen?" UPDATE: it was staged
source: consequenceofsound.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 17, 2016
(CNN)
 
 
 
China says it'll return America's property
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Obama says Reagan would roll over in his grave if he saw the support the GOP is giving Russia. Roll over? He'd be spinning so hard, he'd drill his way through the Earth
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 16, 2016
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Former NFL lineman says players keeping warm by drinking whiskey in the locker room prior to cold games. This gives a new meaning to 'taking a big hit'
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
"I spent most of my time filming Rogue One staring at Alan Tudyk's balls," says Diego Luna
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
The Owner of Comet Ping Pong says that being the target of all the right-wing vitriol and threats of violence that have come his way since being featured in a fake news story about the Clintons was "like being terrorized". There's no "like" about it
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Esquire)
 
 
 
Serial procrastinator George Martin says Westworld is better than Game of Thrones
source: esquire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Tonight)
 
 
 
Paris Hilton says she wants to be known for her business skills and not as a reality star. Which probably means she's gearing up for a Presidential run
source: etonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Ex-CIA agent says Trump's "horrifying incompetence" represents the biggest threat to America since the Civil War
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 15, 2016
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Robo barmaid slashes pub waiting time and pours pints with touch of a credit card. Bender says "Yeah Baby"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSVN Miami)
 
 
 
'Yo, I know wrestling is fake, just like my gun' says Florida Man. Hilarity ensues
source: wsvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Financial Times declares Trump person of the year. "What Trump doesn't know could fill an ocean - he has literally never read a book, including the U.S. Constitution," says associate. Apparently, person of the year is not always a good thing
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
"Men's rights advocates are flocking to the alt-right" says writer unfamiliar with reddit
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Exiled Hobbit, fifth-tier My Little Pony villain, and new Putin puppet Reince Priebus says the Trump White House will have "big changes" for the press, then manages to get his facts completely wrong
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Darius Slay of the Detroit Lions says that the Pro Bowl moving from Hawaii to Orlando makes the game 'pointless'
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 14, 2016
(Babylon Bee)
 
 
 
If you're going to use a Bible verse on your holiday card, you might want to make sure you know what it says
source: babylonbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Serial divorcee and apprentice bridge troll Newt Gingrich says the liberal media should be called "propaganda media"
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
Nancy Pelosi says if Democrats want to save Obamacare they need to mobilize and inform the people about it. Which would have made more sense if they would have actually tried that back in 2010
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
1 in 6 adult Americans says they have taken psychiatric drugs. And that's just since the results from the November election
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 13, 2016
(Metro)
 
 
 
U.K. washing machine says 'Come on then' in a Cockney accent
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 to 5 Mac)
 
 
 
Microsoft says that disappointment in the new Macbook Pro which, in 5 days outsold the Surface Book nearly 4 to 1, is driving more people to switch to the Surface and insist you stop this laughing and mockery at once guys NOW COME ON ALREADY
source: 9to5mac.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
President Obama blames voters for not caring concerning the Russian meddling, says they should have cared more about it during the election
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Nationwide settlement of Shop Vac wet-dry vacuum class-action suits wins final approval. The company says the deal against them just sucks
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 12, 2016
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Former Congressman and deadbeat dad, and currently ultra-right wing radio talk show host Joe Walsh says Trump's response to reports of Russian election hacking is "almost treasonous". He might not want to take his Maserati to 185 for a while
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Because nothing says Christmas in Virginia like a free AR-15
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NY Giants coach Ben McAdoo says he motivated his team to beat the Cowboys by showing them the video of the man saving his dog by punching a kangaroo in the face
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Men should be more like Donald Trump and not surrender their dignity says man who probably never addressed his lingering resentment at his father
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Electoral College members would really like to know more about what the CIA says about Russian interference before they vote next week
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
It's official: Nate Silver says Hillary lost because of James Comey
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 10, 2016
(Today)
 
 
 
Dog says goodbye to dying owner in hospital and DAMMIT WHERE'S THAT FARKING DUSTVAC
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metronews.ca)
 
 
 
Man finds dead mouse in Tim Hortons' coffee cup. Spokesman says, it's not like we charged extra, so what's the big deal?
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 09, 2016
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Have you got 20 minutes? Designer of new plane says that's all you'll need to fly from London to NYC
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jewish Daily Forward)
 
 
 
Trump: I'm very honored to be the Time Person of the Year. Time Magazine: Loser says what? (Tag is for the photographer)
source: forward.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
Joe Maddon says LeBron James can play center field for the Cubs 'any time'
source: mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
The service at Chipotle is terrible, says Chipotle founder
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 08, 2016
(Military Times)
 
 
 
Donald Trump to attend the annual Army-Navy football game, says he'll cheer for the Army since during the Vietnam war they gave him five draft deferments, compared to the Navy only giving him four
source: militarytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Trump's new FDA pick says, Proof? We don't need no stinkin' proof for drugs. We need money for our drug dealing crony buddies
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"Trump is populating his Cabinet with retired generals, which one international affairs expert says violates democratic norms and puts him at risk of being toppled in a military coup"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
AT&T CEO says the number of hours people watch video will increase from five to nine hours a day. Especially for those with AT&T Wi-Fi who find it takes that long just to download a single episode of Seinfeld
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Trump attacks steelworkers whose jobs he bragged about saving. It's almost as if he's insincere about the things he says
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
There really is no Islamic push to get rid of Peppa Pig, says the real Sheikh Shady
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 07, 2016
(The Weekly Standard)
 
 
 
So apparently the color of your Christmas lights in NJ somehow factors in to your class in society, or at least that's what this hick in West Virginia with blinking colored lights and an inflatable Grinch says
source: weeklystandard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
New York Yankees GM Brian Cashman says the Boston Red Sox are now the Golden State Warriors of MLB after their big trade acquisitions
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda Report)
 
 
 
Ukraine offers Trump a jumbo Antonov aircraft as Air Force One. Poroshenko says he likes the idea, but warns toilets are a bit tight there
source: pravdareport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
"Donald Trump has done more to help America in the past four weeks than Obama has done in four years," says delusional Trump employee Corey Lewandowski, who then went on to give a weather forecast of conditions inside his own bunghole
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Baseball Writers of America votes to no longer keep Hall of Fame ballots secret, now you can find out who says "no one can ever be unanimously elected because reasons"
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 06, 2016
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Bernardo Bertolucci says that the controversy over butter in Last Tango is just one big wacky misunderstanding, like when Ricky Ricardo swapped the Parkay with I Can't Believe It's Not Consensual on Lucy
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Not even in office yet and Trump hits a jobs homerun with Japanese telecom SoftBank. Company says it will bring $50 billion and 50,000 jobs to U.S. after CEO meeting with Trump
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Stephen Colbert says the only reason Trump picked coma patient Ben Carson for HUD is that he "lived in public housing"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Baby Killer should not be banned from drinking and gambling because his jury was too stupid, says lawyer, who probably wonders why people hate lawyers
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Fox News viewers stunned after Megyn Kelly says Democrats have souls
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Electing Trump will cause the UN to pave the way for the anti-Christ, says Pastor who supported Trump. So are you admitting your were wrong, just trying to sow fear to keep your flock inline or actively helping the anti-Christ?
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
We're a step closer to artificial blood, says Doctor Doctor. But what does an obscure early-90s show starring Matt Frewer really know about modern science?
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Carbonated TV)
 
 
 
Eric Trump goes on Twitter, says the Wisconsin recount killed 5,000 children
source: carbonated.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 05, 2016
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
In the phone-book-size list of stuff Trump doesn't know about is: how trade tariffs work. Republican leader pushes back on humorous trade thoughts of Trump. Says, ain't gonna happen. Learn how trade works instead of tweeting about SNL
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Steve Kerr says he's been smoking marijuana to treat his back pain, and is now the first NBA coach to show his players how to avoid a brick while he tries to score one
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
OBJ says he should be making the important decisions regarding NFL officiating, because reasons
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Alec Baldwin says he'll stop doing his Trump impression on SNL if Trump releases his tax returns. So here's to the years of tiny hands and "gyna" to come
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun December 04, 2016
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Ann Coulter is afraid that Trump might have conned his way into the White House. Says the lady who wrote a kiss-arse book about how great Trump is. That just got released a few months ago
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Trump says he'll cancel Obama's 'unconstitutional' executive actions. It's not that easy
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 03, 2016
(Slate)
 
 
 
Guy who should be in jail, Corey Lewandowski, says New York Times guy should be jail for being mean to the guy Corey is constantly blowing
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 02, 2016
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Waco pimp gets 12 life sentences. Says he should have just played chess
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Just when you think 2016 can't get any more depressing, Liam Gallagher says he is "making progress" on his solo album
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: Pastor says car salesman swiped wife's nude photos from his iPhone, sent them to swingers' site
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
Man says he set wildfires in NC because he was 'bored'
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Noted Tom Hanks ass expert Tom Hanks says that Tom Hanks has a fine ass, one "as firm as tinned hams". TOM HANKS
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Donald Trump says he will finish naming the Cabinet of the Apocalypse next week
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
New York Jets' Darrelle Revis says he doesn't want to play football anymore. Unclear whether he means as of right now, or retroactive to week one of this season
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Seattle Times says that this Fark headline was totally cool: "For the first time since 1999, there are no Alaskans playing in the NBA"
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 01, 2016
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Lt Governor in NJ says that if the minimum wage is raised to $15 an hour, residents will have to pump their own gas. Next she'll be saying they will have to scan their own groceries
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
Woman claiming to be Prince's legally-married wife says he died for her to expose an intricate CIA plot, that she helped plan his career, that NSA labeled her a threat to national security. And that she is batshait crazy (Subby added the last one)
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Guy says woman's meth sentence is "idiotic" and "grossly unfair." The guy is not her dealer, he's the judge who sentenced her
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Russia is not seeking conflict" says President Putin before his брюки burst into огонь
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Banker accused of shady lending practices excited to strip back regulations protecting consumers from shady lending practices, says it is "the number one priority"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Clay Matthews says shoulder injury caused by cheap shot......That's the joke
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Nothing says "I understand you, working-class America," quite like assembling the richest cabinet of gazillionaires in presidential history
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 30, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Amanda Seyfried says she is expecting her first child. It's like she has ESPN or something
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Bangor Daily says get ready for 12 inches tonight
source: waitfiveminutes.bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Michelle Obama will never run for President, says Barack Obama. Book it done
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
President who received fawning coverage from MSNBC, CNN, ABC, NPR, Vox, The Daily Beast, WaPo, NYT, Time, PBS, the Daily Show, and Colbert says the reason his side lost was that people were watch the incorrect TV station
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Newt Gingrich says Donald Trump needs a filter
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 29, 2016
(Occupy Democrats)
 
 
 
Trump pick for AG says schools are in bad shape because of A: Low teacher pay? B: Outdated technology? or C: Those 'irritating disabled kids'?
source: occupydemocrats.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"We won't be changing our brand name," says a message on Twitter from Top Trumps
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Newt Ginrgrich say he thinks Donald Trump has the potential to be a "transformative president" if only everyone would stop being so petty and insisting on nit-picking and fact checking every single thing he actually SAYS
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
When Fox News' Judge Napoltiano points out flag burning has been protected since 1989 and stripping people of citizenship was outlawed in 1789 noting, "People cannot be prosecuted for expressing unpopular opinions," his co-host just says, "not yet"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Mini monkeys found safe after abduction. Tiny Mike Nesmith says everything's fine
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 28, 2016
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Incoming White House Chief of Staff and noted ring coveting hobbit Reince Priebus says that Trump's cabinet picks mirror those of Abraham Lincoln
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vulture)
 
 
 
Lady Gaga says she's done with bad romance, but you can still poker face
source: vulture.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Ana Navarro says Kellyanne Conway's public criticism of Mittens is part of a "coordinated Trump strategy" to put him in his place. This would be the first time the Trump administration has coordinated anything
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
On Twitter, which is apparently where all official policy statements will be made for the next 4 years, Trump says he will end the U.S.-Cuba deal unless Cuba makes a "better" one... like, say, giving Trump Inc. development rights to prime Havana real estate
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
"We burnt down the establishment," Baba Yaga says about Trump's victory, gleefully reveling in the tears of anguish from immigrants and women, approving of fake news and slamming media bias for her new ascendant supremacist president
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Trump says he will prosecute Hillary Clinton--if she pursues the recount
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Donald Trump talks "regularly" with President Barack Obama, says Kellyanne Conway, and "very much enjoys" their conversations about Obama's childhood in Kenya and life as a devout Muslim
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun November 27, 2016
(Politico)
 
 
 
Outcast Hobbit and fifth-tier My Little Pony villain Reince Priebus says Trump is "absolutely willing" to close off all diplomatic ties with Cuba until they change their ways
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Nikki Sixx says there is "no chance" of a new Mötley Crüe album
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Join us in this campaign to make this country great again," says the prime minister of India. Sweet hairy Krishna, it's contagious
source: indianewengland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
NY Times editorial board says Trump's conflicts of interests will threaten DC integrity. In other news, NY Times still believes there's integrity in DC
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat November 26, 2016
(Politico)
 
 
 
Conservative radio talk show host Laura Ingraham gets way ahead of herself, says she wants input on policymaking if she's named White House press secretary
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Light or moderate drinking may help prevent one type of stroke, claims new medical study ... which also says heavy drinking increases the chances. So where's the line between "moderate" and "heavy" drinking?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri November 25, 2016
(STLToday)
 
 
 
GAO says it's time to fix 401(k) rules requiring workers to wait one year to contribute. For younger workers who often change jobs early in their career, this costs them $411,439
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Here are 40 things that science says you never need to do do from flossing to washing your jeans to learning to tell time on an analog clock. And stop taking toothpaste with you on vacation, they sell it where you're going
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Science says you never need to read another book in your life because they all follow six basic plots. Been ahead of you for 23 years there, poindexters
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Donald Trump says he spent his Thanksgiving trying to save an Indiana factory
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
You know Thursday Night Football games are not a good idea if John Madden says so himself
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 23, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Our preparation for alien contact is like 'Neanderthals having a plan in case the US Air Force showed up', says Seti expert
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Chris Christie says he's given it a lot of thought, and decided he'd rather finish out his 18-months as the scandal-plagued, wildly unpopular governor of New Jersey, than serve in Trump's cabinet, so Trump shouldn't bother asking, not that he has
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Former Premier League ref says players begged him for red cards around Christmas so they didn't waste drinking time playing soccer
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Ryanair CEO says flights may be free in ten years
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Volkswagen aims to be global electric car leader by 2025. And if they can't make this goal they can always have their engineers write some software that says they did
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 22, 2016
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Trump says, racism is bad, don't be racist. Then he says, I'm being forced to say this but I don't believe it. Keep beating the hell out of minorities. At least, that was the subtext
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 21, 2016
(CNN)
 
 
 
Incoming NSA Gen. Flynn illustrates the dangers of hanging out with Alex Jones too long as he says it's possible that the nerve gas attack in Syria that several investigations concluded Assad was responsible for, was really a "false flag" operation
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Ben Shapiro, former Breitbart shill and star of The Final Sacrifice, says the Hamilton freakout shows the media has credibility issues
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Surgeon General reports says 21 million Americans have substance use disorder. And that's just the number who started after the November election
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClearPolitics)
 
 
 
"Donald Trump has no baggage," says Dr. Henry Kissinger, who clutched his own magic murder bag and flew off into the sunset with his sinister umbrella
source: realclearpolitics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun November 20, 2016
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Senator John McCain says that if Donald Trump reinstates waterboarding, he will have him in court "in a New York minute". That's like 48 months in McCain minutes
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC11 North Carolina)
 
 
 
McCrory protests election results in 85 counties, says county election boards can't be trusted to handle his protests, asks state board to do it. State board is appointed by Governor, meets today to consider stealing election
source: abc11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Reince Priebus abandons reality, says the proposed Muslim registry is "not based on religion"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Since David Petraeus is being considered for Sec. of Defense, Bill "You Can't Explain That" O'Reilly says that while not being careful w/classified info is a grave sin, it's okay if you intentionally give it away. Subby can explain that
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
George W Bush's ethics lawyer says Trump is poised to violate the Constitution on his first day in office. Wait... Bush had an ethics lawyer?
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat November 19, 2016
(Live Science)
 
 
 
New study from Australia says that moderate drinking may have benefits for the heart, after researchers finally locate more than five Australians who drink only moderately
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGUN 9 Tucson)
 
 
 
Mother complains about racist bullying 3rd grade son endures in school. School administrator says they'll "tackle this bullying issue," then kicks son out of school, files trespass warning against mom, boy
source: kgun9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri November 18, 2016
(Engadget)
 
 
 
History professor says that predicting elections should be like predicting earthquakes. Italy issues warrant for arrest of Nate Silver
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pro Football Talk)
 
 
 
Jeff Fisher says he's ready to do what he does best: Turn his rookie QB into hamburger
source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Seattle Times says that this Fark headline leaves them in stitches: "Robert Griffin III on pace to return to Injured Reserve this season"
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Detroit Lions LB DeAndre Levy says that, in retrospect, the proudest moment of his college career was when he accidentally ran into Penn State Coach Joe Paterno on the sidelines and broke his leg. "We've gotta stop prioritizing sports over humanity"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
"The Ku Klux Klan was fine until I found out they smoked pot" says Trump's new Attorney General
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 17, 2016
(Media Matters)
 
 
 
History is totally NOT repeating itself, says a completely trustworthy Trumper who just wants to lock up every Muslim he can find
source: mediamatters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
China says they never said what Trump said he said he never said about what they said and then said he never actually said that, turning it into a he said, Xi said
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Magazine)
 
 
 
Shelley Duvall reveals her serious mental illness to Dr. Phil. She says Robin Williams isn't dead, but has shape-shifted. Oh and the Sheriff of Nottingham is after her
source: usmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 16, 2016
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Trump's Chief strategist, in a bid to unite the country, says there are too many Asian CEOs in Silicon Valley. I guess the scapegoating doesn't stop at the Jews
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Stephen Hawking says humanity will be extinct in a thousand years, but his projection failed to include the Trump variable
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gallup)
 
 
 
This is getting crazy now, a new Gallup poll says more Americans are confident that Trump is less crazy since the election
source: gallup.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Planning to call in sick? Market research says the most believable day to ditch work is on a Tuesday. And not in November or December
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Tony Danza says we shouldn't normalize Donald Trump's behavior, should hold each other closer in these times of uncertainty
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Trump-loving coffee shop owner who called for people to "hang the m**keys" in reference to black protesters says he's not racist, though he refuses to sell coffee without milk or cream in it
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Man has special gun-ditching hole in his car just in case the cops pull him over. NRA says, what's the big deal?
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Glenn Beck says the Alt-Right is truly terrifying. In other news, Doctor Frankenstein is kinda scared of the monster he created
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Guinness Book of World Records not interested in NRA's idea of record setting. Look, we got a thousand guys to line up and all shoot their guns at once, that's gotta be a record? Guinness says, point the guns at yourselves and we'll be there
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Vader (the wrestler, not the villain) says he has 2 years to live due to congestive heart failure
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 15, 2016
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Your desk says a lot about you
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Influence)
 
 
 
Trump protestors were "all too busy smoking drugs to go out and vote," says walking embarrassment Nigel Farage
source: theinfluence.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ohio.com)
 
 
 
Browns fan has applied for a parade if team has perfect 0-16 season. Team spokesman, when asked, says, "I really don't have anything to say about it"
source: ohio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Kellyanne Conway says Steve Bannon isn't as "scary" as everyone thinks. Well, perhaps if you're just talking white conservatives
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 14, 2016
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
CBS executive says a new Star Trek wouldn't work on TV. Well, sure, the other attempts were all complete flops, right?
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"You guys lost, get over it," says group waving Confederate flags
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The 11 best Joe Biden memes as America says bye to its Uncle-in-Chief
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The UN says that this year will be the hottest year on record. This is not a repeat from every year for at least 30 years
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Megyn Kelly says Trump offered her and other journalists gifts in exchange for favorable coverage. Good thing she waited until AFTER THE ELECTION TO TELL US
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Kellyanne Conway says Trump is considering the healing, unifying act of calling a special session of Congress so Trump can repeal Obamacare on inauguration day
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Trump will appoint pro-life judge to SCOTUS and would support overturning Roe v. Wade. Thirty seconds later says gay marriage is "settled" because the SCOTUS ruled on it. Go ahead. Chew on that for a minute
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat November 12, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
79-year-old father (who's battling cancer) says it's time for assisted living. What should subby be on the lookout for when visiting various places? All tips and advice welcome
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
"Without fat girls, there would be no protests," says Baba Yaga Ann Coulter, setting of a firestorm of criticism against the skeletal backwoods witch demon
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Val Kilmer says he does not have cancer, but he does have a great Marlon Brando impression
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Greg Oden says he will be remembered as the biggest bust in NBA history. Yes, yes you will, Greg
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri November 11, 2016
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
New report says Donald Trump paid an average of $5 a vote, half what was spent by Hillary Clinton. Which is really about $150 a vote if the total includes all the free air time by CNN
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Dana White says a WWE Hall of Famer may show up at UFC 205
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
VR proponents says the technology is so good now, it will allow you to have breakfast every day with a VR rendition of your dead spouse after they die and HAHAHA no
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Kremlin says, Clinton would have started WWIII, but with Trump, Russia can easily take over the world without a war. See? Much better
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 10, 2016
(Health.com)
 
 
 
New Romero Institute study says that lighter running shoes can make you faster and heavier shoes cause you to run slower. And don't get them started on Mafia-recommended cement shoes for swimming
source: health.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Trump supporter who called for violent protest if Clinton won the election now says that "temper tantrums from anarchists must be quelled" because... well because of course he does
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HeliHub)
 
 
 
FAA says pilots are overwhelmed by weather data in the cockpit and it's often wrong: "Latency in transmitting data like NEXRAD means information presented as real-time may be 15-20 minutes old. That's a lifetime for a flight crew relying on it"
source: helihub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Putin's advisor smiles, says "Maybe we helped a bit with WikiLeaks" and slinks back into the shadows
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 09, 2016
(Pro Football Talk)
 
 
 
Jeff "8-8" Fisher says Jared Goff sitting on the bench gives the Rams the best chance to win
source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Jessica Alba says she maintains her looks without ever working out, and eating the same as she always has. In fact, she consumed an entire sandwich just last July
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Economist Paul Krugman says that Donald Trump will bring global recession. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
New study says that dangerous driving runs in families. Which means we should immediately revoke the driver's licenses of the children of Nick Nolte, Mel Gibson and Billy Joel
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wetpaint)
 
 
 
Mandy Moore says her cat psychically asked her to change his name. And then she goes on to sound a bit crazy, honestly (w/ vid)
source: wetpaint.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 08, 2016
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Ohio man charged with trying to go to Libya to join ISIS, says at least the weather would be nicer than in Cleveland
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
New study says it's as healthy to eat bugs as it is steak. Which apparently is just a coincidental finding after the introduction of the new Taco Bell grilled steak soft taco
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Woman posted revenge porn showing ex-boss naked on his new wife's business Facebook page. Her defense lawyer, Mr. Booty, says she just wanted to be heard
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Nick Mason says even people who hate Pink Floyd should buy the band's massive new boxed set: "If you can carry it up and down stairs, you'll find it does you a world of good. It's a cardiovascular workout in a box. Like granola, but bigger"
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Donald Trump goes on repeat, says the polls are "purposely wrong"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Madonna says she considers herself a minority, her audience openly laughs at her
source: theconcourse.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Prince Harry says his girlfriend has been hit by a "wave of abuse and harassment" since their relationship became public
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
Author Malcolm Gladwell says 'Trump will be in jail within a year'
source: economictimes.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
Author says no matter who wins the election, the next President will be a self-promoting, conspiracy-obsessed narcissist. In other words, almost like it's a contest involving two politicians
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 07, 2016
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Dave Chappelle says the media "twisted" Trump's sexual harassment comments
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
George RR Martin, who knows a thing or two about leaders who are wildly unfit to hold office, says "You don't need to listen ..to what I say about Trump, you just need to listen to Trump. If you can do that, and still consider voting for him..well"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Hugging, playing with bears as natural as petting your dog, says lunch
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
Nielsen is sticking with its report that says ESPN lost 621,000 subscribers in just one month. Apparently they were Cubs fans who, after the World Series, say they have no reason to ever watch another sports broadcast again
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Defeated half-brother of Smeagol and third-rate My Little Pony villain Reince Priebus says he "doesn't really care" if Donald Trump blames him for his defeat
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Elon Musk says we will eventually need "universal income" because, well, he's not saying it's robots...but it's robots
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
While more stores are closing for Thanksgiving, Toys R Us says "screw that, give us your money" and will open at 5pm Thanksgiving and remain open for 30 hours straight
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun November 06, 2016
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Elon Musk says they've finally figured out what caused the Falcon 9 pad explosion back in September. We're not saying it was aliens, but...okay, it was really oxygen that got too cold and turned into a solid
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat November 05, 2016
(SlashFilm)
 
 
 
If Bret Easton Ellis says the script to Ben Affleck's Batman is a mess, then you know it's a damned shiatfest
source: slashfilm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Megyn Kelly says Hillary Clinton was "too chicken" to come on her show
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Wells Fargo says legal costs could reach $1.7 billion and it will affect quarterly earnings. Especially after handing out year end bonuses to executives for their excellent work
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Indiana priest says requests for exorcisms are at an all-time high. Although the church would get the same results if they just give the person a bus ticket out of Indiana
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri November 04, 2016
(Car Keys (UK))
 
 
 
Mazda says it will "never" build an electric car, and it thinks hybrids are a joke too
source: carkeys.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Kellyanne Conway says that even though reporter Katy Tur has had to be escorted by the Secret Service out of Trump rallies in the past when Trump turned the crowd on her, his constant name checking of her isn't "meant in a malicious way"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Quentin Tarantino says he's only going to make two more films before retiring, but let's not start sucking each others' dicks quite yet
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Wilmer Valderrama, who came to the U.S. from Venezuela, says immigrants are a gift to the country. Apparently there's no other place where one can come to, find work and also date Mandy Moore, Demi Lovato and Mila Kunis
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zero Hedge)
 
 
 
Julian Assange says the fix is in and Trump won't be allowed to win next week: "Clinton and ISIS are funded by the same money"
source: zerohedge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Bulletin at Catholic parish calls Hillary Clinton satanic, says Democrats are "going to hell." Then it reminds parishioners that it's a polling place on Tuesday
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Here is where listening to your mother pays off. Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Darrius Heyward-Bey says he saved most of his career earnings thanks to his mom
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 03, 2016
(Gant Daily)
 
 
 
Melania Trump says her focus as FLOTUS would be to end bullying through social media. That's the joke
source: gantdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
President Obama doesn't overreact at all, just says the 'FATE OF WORLD' is at risk if Donald Trump is elected president in North Carolina speech
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Two Year Membership to Cudoo - a library of professional development videos teaching foreign languages, professional, and computer skills. With an international flavor - website says "wildly cultural." (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
Samsung's CEO says employee complacency led to the Galaxy Note 7 crisis. As opposed to the company executives not completely testing an inferior product before rushing it out on the market
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: I had a summer fling with a guy, and once our internship was over, we went back home to opposite sides of the country. Well, he's dying and says I should be with him during his final months. Am I being selfish by not being with him?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
"Keep it together, Donald," Trump says aloud in middle of a rally
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 02, 2016
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Alabama's Republican Secretary of State says voting is a "privilege," believing automatically giving people their constitutional rights would also be offensive to civil rights leaders
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
Rudy Giuliani says Donald Trump now has a path to victory. Excuse me, did I say Rudy Giuliani? I meant Nate Silver
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Microsoft says Russian hackers are targeting Windows. Yep, we're all dead
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
A former Trump religious adviser says rainbow flags flying at US embassies are a "mockery of God." One day, Christians will explain how they can reconcile God's edict to love everyone came with an asterisk of bigotry
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 01, 2016
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Tiger Woods says he's ready to play golf again, will return to play in December. Why are you all laughing?
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The Clinton campaign tweets Election Day guide that says she's one of 'the most corrupt, least popular candidates of all time' - but she's still not as bad as Trump
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The Pope says that men will always be superior to women
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Halloween isn't over until you've seen the Obamas dance to Thriller. And who says the President isn't white?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)