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Headlines matching 'sand'
Sun May 27, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Metro) Dumbass Reporter shows up too late to cover a sandstorm, tries to recreate it  (metro.co.uk) (30)


Fri May 25, 2012
(Spinner) Unlikely "Bob Dylan and Adam Sandler -- Celebrity Doppelgangers?" If you have glaucoma, yes  (spinner.com) (26)


Thu May 24, 2012
(Sun Sentinel) Florida When playing golf, you need to be aware of sand traps, water hazards, and falling airplane doors  (sun-sentinel.com) (41)


Wed May 23, 2012
(The Sun) Fail Barclays bank customers suddenly find that their credit card numbers have thousands of followers on Twitter  (thesun.co.uk) (1)


Tue May 22, 2012
(Short List) Sick Bad news: it's National Vegetarian Week in the UK. Good news: the world's meatiest sandwich has become a thing  (shortlist.com) (95)
(CBC) Sad Hundreds of thousands of Canadians still using dial-up. I wish there was something funny I could say about this but I'm one of them and I pray for death every day  (cbc.ca) (129)


Mon May 21, 2012
(ABC) Followup Judge refuses to delay the trial of former Penn State football coach, Jerry Sandusky; wants to get this crap over with before football season  (abcnews.go.com) (23)


Sun May 20, 2012
(MSNBC) Scary Deadly earthquake strikes Italian region of Bologna. If only there were some sort of sandwich metaphor to describe how flattened the buildings are  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com) (39)
(apan Today) Obvious Japanese officials to small NJ town: "We'd be much obliged if you'd tear down your memorial to abused 'comfort women' of WWII." NJ town: "How about 'NO'... and btw, welcome to the Streisand Effect"  (japantoday.com) (198)


Fri May 18, 2012
(AZCentral) Interesting Møøse reboots Logan's Run, seeks sanctuary, but ran right into the Sandman  (azcentral.com) (44)


Thu May 17, 2012
(MLive.com) Sick For once, Arby's sandwich found to contain real meat  (mlive.com) (116)


Wed May 16, 2012
(Talking Points Memo) Amusing Did John Boehner have anything positive to say from his recent meeting with Barack Obama? "The Speaker was very pleased with the sandwiches served"   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) (141)
(TSP) Dumbass Man visits campus on a stolen bike, steal sodas, says he's going to the library to study but can't remember what he's studying, later found on another bicycle with a stolen sandwich, gets arrested. The circle of dumbass is complete  (thestarpress.com) (11)
(The New York Times) Interesting Take-home HIV test approved by FDA in unanimous vote could prevent thousands of transmissions, frat house gang bangs, annually  (nytimes.com) (34)


Tue May 15, 2012
(Reuters) Interesting Judge reinstates Apple's suit against Samsung tablets. Thousands of lawyers rejoice  (reuters.com) (42)


Mon May 14, 2012
(CBS News) Followup Thousands march in Spain to protest austerity, unemployment, running of bulls being changed to running of the calves  (cbsnews.com) (107)


Sat May 12, 2012
(BBC) Cool Two hundred and fifty years ago the Earl of Sandwich stayed up all night playing cards and invented the sandwich so you can do the same  (bbc.co.uk) (134)
(io9) Scary Almost all spiders are solitary, and very few hunt together in groups of thousands, cooperating to kill and eat prey thousands of times their own size. Very few  (io9.com) (108)


Fri May 11, 2012
(WTOP) Unlikely DC's mayor wants you to know that, sure, he's given his son and daughter thousands of dollars worth of Verizon Center Sky Suite tickets to see acts like Jay-Z, Kanye West, and Britney Spears, but that was all totally to help the city  (wtop.com) (50)


Wed May 09, 2012
(610 WIOD) Florida Report: Thousands of hot blooded foreigners voting in elections. Doesn't feel like the first time this has happened  (610wiod.com) (51)


Tue May 08, 2012
(News Hounds) Asinine Fox News: "Women make less than men by choice." Preposterous. Everyone knows that women make more sandwiches than men  (newshounds.us) (104)
(Bitten and Bound) Fail Who wouldn't love a sexy Bollywood Samba that featured scantily-clad Maria Menounos sandwiched between two hot hunks? Head judge Len Goodman ... that's who. #dumbass w/vid  (bittenandbound.com) (22)


Mon May 07, 2012
(Some Guy) Amusing "They got away with at least $4-thousand worth of high-end corsets, leather items, and expensive massage lubricants before sheriff's deputies could respond"  (940winz.com) (137)


Fri May 04, 2012
(YouTube) Hero It's like a thousand voices sang out for four minutes and then were suddenly silent  (youtube.com) (27)
(Daily Mail) Unlikely The alcohol bra, flask sandals, and other devious ways teens sneak alcohol into prom. Not me though. I just snuck it in using my stomach  (dailymail.co.uk) (68)


Thu May 03, 2012
(BBC) Silly In real life I work for a foot care company and once a month I am the Lord of Alessandra  (bbc.co.uk) (13)


Wed May 02, 2012
(Short List) Obvious Stallone is working on a "formula" for Rambo 5. Subby can help: it's guns + bombs + guts = $$$  (shortlist.com) (73)


Tue May 01, 2012
(My San Antonio) Unlikely Dear Judge: Eddie didn't mean to steal that seven thousand dollars from those children. He just had a brain tumor. Thanks for understanding. Sincerely, Eddie's doctor  (mysanantonio.com) (28)


Mon April 30, 2012
(Fox News) Weird "Young said Hunter complained that her Reuben sandwich had the wrong sauce and then called her spiritual adviser and healer for help"  (foxnews.com) (54)


Sun April 29, 2012
(Bangor Daily News) Cool There's no middle ground when it comes to Moxie. You love it or you hate it. Oh, and the new logo was designed by a teenager  (bangordailynews.com) (137)


Fri April 27, 2012
(SLTrib) Obvious Men charged with stealing thousands of dollars worth of printer ink. Police say both cartridges were successfully recovered  (sltrib.com) (56)


Thu April 26, 2012
(Huffington Post) Dumbass Sandra Fluke: "I'm engaged." Fox News Bimbo: "To a man?"  (huffingtonpost.com) (462)
(CSMonitor) Interesting How do Norwegians send an extra-special Fark You to a mass-murdering psychopath? Forty thousand of them marched to Oslo singing the song he claims is an example of Marxist indoctrination  (csmonitor.com) (117)


Wed April 25, 2012
(CNN) Strange Mexican drug cartel assassin lived in a wretched hive of scum and villainy: Sandusky, Ohio  (cnn.com) (36)
(LiveLeak) Spiffy For every thousand videos where things like this end badly, one manages to pull it off  (liveleak.com) (38)


Tue April 24, 2012
(Huffington Post) Stupid Worried that there may still be a few women voters siding with the GOP, Rush Limbaugh launches a new attack on Sandra Fluke  (huffingtonpost.com) (508)
(Deadspin) Scary Sculpture of Heisman Trophy winner Robert Griffin III made from...Subway sandwiches? "The hair is peppers and the teeth are garlic"  (deadspin.com) (13)
(With Leather) Interesting Apparently the only way to beat Deion Sanders is to marry him  (withleather.uproxx.com) (16)


Sat April 21, 2012
(Yahoo) Interesting Hundreds of thousands may lose Internet access in July due to hackers. Take off your tinfoil hat, the FBI is here to help and wants to keep you online  (news.yahoo.com) (105)


Thu April 19, 2012
(WRCB-TV) Asinine Tennessee's "Stick Your Head In The Sand" bill heads to a floor vote. Giggity  (wrcbtv.com) (63)


Mon April 16, 2012
(Wimp) Amusing Most people make a sand castle when they go to the beach. Then there's this guy  (wimp.com) (51)


Sat April 14, 2012
(MyFox Twin Cities) Spiffy Extreme sandboxing. Keg of Mountain Dew not included  (myfoxtwincities.com) (6)


Fri April 13, 2012
(The Daily Caller) Sad Jerry Sandusky screwing over needy kids--again  (dailycaller.com) (104)


Thu April 12, 2012
(Crystal Ball) PSA Larry Sabato releases his first slate of possible VP contenders. Will Romney choose an exciting, unvetted choice or the solid, safe choice which would make the ticket a white bread sandwich?  (centerforpolitics.org) (165)


Tue April 10, 2012
(Some Guy) Asinine Spectator tries to steal a beer cup full of sand from the Masters, learns Augusta needs all that extra sand for their vagina  (chronicle.augusta.com) (53)


Mon April 09, 2012
(ESPN) Obvious The reappearance of a savior draws thousands on Easter Sunday  (espn.go.com) (49)


Sat April 07, 2012
(The Atlantic Wire) Amusing Introducing the bold new taste of Arby's Arugula Sandwiches?  (theatlanticwire.com) (36)


Fri April 06, 2012
(MSNBC) Asinine Delta looks to buy oil refinery for hundreds of millions of dollars--or about three weeks of baggage fees, sandwich sales and reservation change charges  (marketday.msnbc.msn.com) (20)


Thu April 05, 2012
(Huffington Post) Sick Just when you thought we'd reached the nadir of Adam Sandler films, a sequel to Grown-Ups is in the works, and the human alpaca that is Taylor Lautner will be in the cast  (huffingtonpost.com) (60)


Wed April 04, 2012
(Fox News) Followup McDonalds Millionaire-to-be Marlinde Wilson now says the winning ticket is hidden in the restaurant. Next: Thousands of dollars in damage caused to trashed McDonalds in Maryland  (foxnews.com) (195)
(Chicago Tribune) Dumbass Democrats are relishing the opportunity to put Mitt Romney in a pickle after he may have violated Wisconsin law by handing out free sandwiches to would-be voters  (chicagotribune.com) (174)


Tue April 03, 2012
(The Consumerist) Obvious Around 7000 students learn a valuable lesson in life. If thousands of dollars are mistakenly deposited into your account, you don't get to keep it  (consumerist.com) (40)
(CNN) Stupid Facing a tough re-election campaign, Scott Brown (R-Mass) is trying to get some of the Luck o' the Irish by importing a few thousand of the Unemployed o' the Irish  (edition.cnn.com) (81)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Stupid Adam Sandler prepping a remake of the Mark Harmon classic Summer School  (hollywoodreporter.com) (89)


Mon April 02, 2012
(Chicago Tribune) Asinine AFA Foods, known better as the company that produces the perfectly tasty but unfortunately dubbed pink slime is filing Chapter 11 because some asshole TV chef started a completely fabricated frenzy. Thousands will be jobless as a result  (chicagotribune.com) (524)
(PhysOrg.com) Spiffy Scientists announce major breakthrough in the field copying small footstool models into large footstools made out of sand. Exactly why copying footstool models is important remains unclear  (physorg.com) (15)
(AccessAtlanta) Amusing Adam Sandler pulls off a sweep of the Razzies, including both worst actor and worst actress  (accessatlanta.com) (24)


Sun April 01, 2012
(MSNBC) Interesting Some fertility clinics now offer home sperm banking kits. Just be sure to clearly label things, because you'd hate to pick up the wrong jar thinking it was Miracle Whip and use it on your sandwich  (vitals.msnbc.msn.com) (24)


Sat March 31, 2012
(Daily Mail) Interesting Adam Sandler must have one of the best wives ever. Looks great in a bikini and can put up with his films  (dailymail.co.uk) (81)


Fri March 30, 2012
(Huffington Post) Cool "Ninjutsu is practiced by some three thousand women throughout Iran" (includes pic of what some hittable Iranian lady ninjas might look like)  (huffingtonpost.com) (69)


Wed March 28, 2012
(PCWorld) Cool The coolest jumping sand flea robot you'll see until Skynet invades your town  (pcworld.com) (10)


Tue March 27, 2012
(Some Fatty) Amusing Point-counterpoint: The Monte Cristo sandwich is an absurd joke that no one gets  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (192)


Mon March 26, 2012
(New York Daily News) Stupid Georgia restaurant jokes that their "black and bleu" sandwich was inspired by Chris Brown's attack on Rihanna. "Chris Brown won't beat you up for eating this unless your name starts with a R and ends with A"  (nydailynews.com) (97)
(The Raw Story) Scary How are your supplies of bottled water and ammo these days? Mysterious disease literally turning thousands of children in Uganda into zombies, and not only is there no cure, but they aren't even sure of the CAUSE yet  (rawstory.com) (152)


Sun March 25, 2012
(PennLive) Spiffy College student hosts a luncheon to encourage girls to embrace their bodies no matter how fat they are. Sandwiches, potato chips, and pickles were on the menu (w/ 'Of course you would' picture of student)  (pennlive.com) (198)
(Independent) Amusing Thousands of New Agers head for the mother ship to escape the coming apocalypse. Yeah it's a mountain, but you've got to believe  (independent.co.uk) (133)


Fri March 23, 2012
(ESPN) Dumbass Not content with inventing the wrap sandwich, Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine creates something new: complaining about a tie game in spring training  (espn.go.com) (52)


Thu March 22, 2012
(PennLive) Asinine Apparently Jerry Sandusky's admission of guilt to one of his alleged victims' mothers wasn't a detail worth mentioning to the case investigator  (pennlive.com) (60)


Tue March 20, 2012
(The Daily Beast) Followup "I'm not homophobic, some of my best friends used to be gay before coming to their senses. Hey, would you like a chunk of my birthday sandwich?"  (thedailybeast.com) (274)


Mon March 19, 2012
(MSNBC) Scary Drug resistant "white plague" spreading. Victims reportedly develop fevers, and urges to listen to Pat Boone, wear socks with sandals, argue about the designated hitter rule  (msnbc.msn.com) (119)


Fri March 16, 2012
(LA Weekly) Stupid Stop-sign cameras have issued 70,000 tickets in the Santa Monica Mountains, generating thousands in tax dollars and saving dozens of raccoon lives  (laweekly.com) (100)


Thu March 15, 2012
(Wimp) Spiffy More amazing sand art - "One Man's Dream"  (wimp.com) (7)


Wed March 14, 2012
(Daily Kos) Unlikely Rush Limbaugh was set up by President Obama and forced to call Sandra Fluke a slut because HBO had a movie coming out about Sarah Palin  (dailykos.com) (224)
(Retronaut) Obvious In 1953, Life magazine published a highly irresponsible work of journalism, which resulted in the deaths of thousands of kittens worldwide  (retronaut.co) (193)
(The Sun) Cool The cutest picture of a sandhill chick taking a ride on his mom's back you will see all day  (thesun.co.uk) (29)


Tue March 13, 2012
(Some Guy) Obvious Sandra Fluke is the model Welfare Queen for the 21st Century  (spectator.org) (529)


Sun March 11, 2012
(Some Guy) Strange Is it really a grilled cheese sandwich if it has macaroni and pulled pork or meatloaf?  (toronto.com) (132)
(Some Guy) Amusing A picture is worth a thousand snarks. Just click the link and try not to laugh too loud  (tecca.com) (66)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Cool This record-breaker could be the best steak sandwich in the world  (suntimes.com) (61)
(Huffington Post) Fail Wait....Republicans actually believe Sandra Fluke was some kind of Democratic conspiracy? Delusion's one helluva thing  (huffingtonpost.com) (700)


Fri March 09, 2012
(The Atlantic) Hero "He has lived in a dozen caves tucked into sandstone nooks. In the fall of 2002, two years after quitting money, he homesteaded a majestic alcove high on a cliff, two hundred feet across and fifty feet tall"  (theatlantic.com) (145)
(PC Magazine) Obvious The new iPad won't be a gaming platform. Also, the new Ford Focus won't be a sandwich  (pcmag.com) (85)
(Letters of Note) Hero After publication of the Hobbit, German publishers asked J. R. R. Tolkien if he had any Jewish blood. Tolkien, of course, writes a letter telling them to go pound sand  (lettersofnote.com) (85)
(Some Guy) Followup "Sandra Fluke is just your average college student voicing her impassioned opinion on this issue." Yeah, about that  (939mia.com) (408)
(Huffington Post) Followup Much like a dying, bloated whale crashing onto a sandy shore to bask in the sun during its final moments of life, only to be stared at by horrified onlookers, Britney Spears will be heading to the judge's table on X-Factor  (huffingtonpost.com) (23)
(Some Guy) Amusing DefendRush.org, a fan site dedicated to defend Rush Limbaugh's views on Sandra Fluke and other opinions, has just popped up. Well... that's what the link said on facebook anyway (Not safe for work)  (defendrush.org) (146)
(Seattle Times) Interesting Mormon leaders restrict genealogical database to anyone who attempts to access names of hundreds of thousands of Holocaust victims the church has agreed not to posthumously baptize. But we all know Mormons have nothing to hide...right?   (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (266)


Tue March 06, 2012
(The Atlantic Wire) Amusing Problem: Rush Limbaugh has hours of ad time available after calling Sandra Fluke a slut and prostitute. Solution: websites that help people become sluts and prostitutes buy up available ad time  (theatlanticwire.com) (199)
(BBC) Scary Pardon sir, but we would like to stay at your farm as the rest of this area is flooded. I hope you do not mind that we are THOUSANDS OF SPIDERS  (bbc.co.uk) (301)
(Some Guy) Followup In Georgetown Journal of Gender and Law's 2011 annual review, nonpolitical nonpartisan anonymous student Sandra Fluke wrote an article advocating that health insurers cover gender reassignment surgery  (mrctv.org) (457)


Mon March 05, 2012
(Denver Channel) Interesting Researchers say some movies may increase binge drinking -- certainly anything with Adam Sandler in it  (thedenverchannel.com) (42)


Sun March 04, 2012
(The Sun) Obvious Thousands of people see "bright light or a fireball" in the sky. The Sun is there  (thesun.co.uk) (85)


Sat March 03, 2012
(Mercury News) Spiffy Mercury News Jockularity column picks FARK's Deion Sanders headline as the clear winner for the week (2nd section)  (mercurynews.com) (0)


Fri March 02, 2012
(Talking Points Memo) Hero President Obama calls up Sandra Fluke, the woman whom Rush Limbaugh maligned, telling her that she should and her parents "should be proud"  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (511)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Daytona Beach police on 16-month-long Operation Chum Bucket: "It hasn't been cleaned in over a thousand years. It's skanky. It's filthy. If I was a roach, I wouldn't live inside. It's a whorehouse" (w/ mugshots)  (orlandosentinel.com) (102)


Wed February 29, 2012
(Media Matters) Asinine Rush Limbaugh responds to Sandra Fluke testimony on contraception with a rational argument of balancing individual rights and religious freedoms. Just kidding he calls her a slut  (mediamatters.org) (191)
(Nerve) Amusing Planned Parenthood gives out thousands of condoms with QR tags so that users can "geotag" their encounters. Insert "your mom's house" joke here  (nerve.com) (84)
(Yahoo) Sad Barry Sanders cuts right, spins, shakes a tackle, reverses left, stiff-arms, hurdles, jukes and sprints away from his wife of eleven years  (sports.yahoo.com) (54)


Tue February 28, 2012
(Telegram) Cool 84 year old driving instructor still going strong, has taught thousands of students to drive with blinker on, accelerate through farmers markets  (telegram.com) (17)


Sun February 26, 2012
(Yahoo) Obvious Adam Sandler receives a record 11 Razzie nominations. In other news, from now on Sandler threads will appear under the Geek tab, as his movies don't qualify as entertainment  (news.yahoo.com) (100)


Wed February 22, 2012
(Huffington Post) Followup The sand has been expelled from Brady's Quimm  (huffingtonpost.com) (6)


Mon February 20, 2012
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Planning the getaway from your next armed robbery? Make sure your wheelchair is equipped to handle the sand  (tampabay.com) (13)


Sat February 18, 2012
(BBC) Interesting Two hundred thousand years ago, the world's most powerful predator arrived: Humans. So why haven't animals evolved effective defenses against us? Here's why  (bbc.co.uk) (200)


Tue February 14, 2012
(Some Guy) Photoshop Challenge: improve this artistic sandwich  (justgoup.ru) (27)


Mon February 13, 2012
(Mother Nature Network) Sick The eight creepiest ingredients found in fast food. Sand, duck feathers, and wood made the list, but hamburgle surprisingly didn't  (mnn.com) (97)


Sat February 11, 2012
(Short List) Cool The world's 10 best sandwiches. Presented without comment  (shortlist.com) (187)
(NYPost) Dumbass Accused child rapist Sandusky: "Everyone's turned on me." Hmm, maybe that's because you're an ACCUSED CHILD RAPIST  (nypost.com) (81)


Fri February 10, 2012
(Yahoo) Amusing Mets GM Sandy Alderson finally starts a Twitter account. First tweet: "Big fundraiser tonight for gas money"  (sports.yahoo.com) (5)


Tue February 07, 2012
(Dayton Daily News) Obvious Study finds that McDonald's revives the McRib sandwich in order to crush pesky competition for imitation pork sandwiches. You stopped reading after McRib didn't you?  (daytondailynews.com) (69)


Fri February 03, 2012
(Fox News) Interesting Indiana lawmakers pass last-minute legislation making it more difficult for thousands of men to find hookers for the Super Bowl  (foxnews.com) (36)


Thu February 02, 2012
(TMZ) Interesting Deion Sanders' wife says he will only give her money in exchange for sexual favors. So, it's a normal marriage, then?  (tmz.com) (30)


Wed February 01, 2012
(The Hollywood Reporter) Stupid Hasbro negotiating to move their Candy Land movie starring Adam Sandler from Universal to Sony. I don't think there's a single part of the previous statement that doesn't fill me with rage  (hollywoodreporter.com) (52)


Mon January 30, 2012
(Some Guy) Amusing Some women collect doilies, others collect cats. This one collects Barbra Streisand  (wtae.com) (20)
(Washington Post) Obvious This just in: Republicans don't like Obama. As in, "hate him with the fire of a thousand suns" dislike. In other news, Bill Gates is rich, Elton John is gay, and the Pacific Ocean is like, wow, really big  (washingtonpost.com) (235)
(CNN) Interesting Use of euphemisms is distorting the truth about what happened at Penn State when Jerry Sandusky played squish the wrinkly Vienna sausage into the budding brown balloon knot  (cnn.com) (50)

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