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Headlines matching 'prom'
Sat February 11, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Fark) FarkParty Impromptu Fark meetup on Sunday evening for Houston Farkers. DIT when I get around to it, biatches  (fark.com) (23)


Fri February 10, 2012
(Daily Mail) Weird Kris Jenner promotes new female sex aid, leaving Bruce with bewildered frozen expression  (dailymail.co.uk) (10)
(MSNBC) Asinine Ralph Nader encounters American Airlines' policy of "the flight's not full, but it's full for you." Promptly tells them they're full of it  (redtape.msnbc.msn.com) (32)
(ABC) Fail New study finds 10% of doctors lie to patients, still promise appointments not running late  (abcnews.go.com) (6)


Wed February 08, 2012
(Huffington Post) Strange Gov. John Kasich, eschewing teleprompters like any good republican, delivers bizarre off-the-cuff speech during which he mocks Parkinson's sufferers, cries like John Boehner, and insults the entire state of California  (huffingtonpost.com) (102)


Tue February 07, 2012
(Some Guy) Interesting Fracture Putty promises to revolutionize Jackass and other reality shows  (geek.com) (34)


Fri February 03, 2012
(Some Guy) Dumbass Susan Komen Foundation introduces pink handguns to promote Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Really  (wisconsingazette.com) (297)


Thu February 02, 2012
(JSOnline) Fail Sub-Zero loses, promptly performs fatalities on 100 jobs  (jsonline.com) (24)
(Huffington Post) Amusing Obama follows through on promise at town hall meeting to help a woman's husband with his resume-but she's still not sure she's gonna vote for him  (huffingtonpost.com) (155)


Fri January 27, 2012
(Some Sleazeball) Dumbass Perry claims the $1.1 million in Texas taxpayer-funded security expenses from traveling the country during his disastrous and embarrassing Presidential campaign should not be reimbursed because he was "Promoting Texas"  (wfaa.com) (74)
(Gateway Pundit) Ironic Obama leaves event promoting clean energy in motorcade of 22 gasoline-powered vehicles  (thegatewaypundit.com) (105)


Thu January 26, 2012
(Bring Me The News) Scary Falcon Heights mayor loses SUV in lake, promises wife he'll get new hobby  (bringmethenews.com) (18)


Wed January 25, 2012
(USA Today) PSA Exposing your child to non-stick cookware may compromise the effectiveness of autism juice  (yourlife.usatoday.com) (61)
(AlterNet) Ironic Three ways that conservative Christianity promotes abortions  (alternet.org) (197)


Tue January 24, 2012
(TMZ) Interesting Mel Gibson is called for jury duty, promises to only convict if the defendant is Jewish  (tmz.com) (51)


Sun January 22, 2012
(The Onion) Amusing Joe Paterno dies in hospital, doctors promise to tell their superiors first thing tomorrow  (theonion.com) (55)


Sat January 21, 2012
(Some Guy) Cool Psst, hey buddy, want to see a little 'Forbidden Color'? C'mon, you know you do, try it. Just once. It wont hurt I promise  (lifeslittlemysteries.com) (52)


Fri January 20, 2012
(Yahoo) Followup We here at Al-Qaeda are thrilled to recognize Aswan Alam for all his hard work and dedication and promote him to Senior Operations Organizer, and...hey does anybody else hear a high-pitched whistling sound?  (news.yahoo.com) (79)
(Yahoo) Amusing Surpassing Vladimir Putin as the greatest judo master in politics, Obama asks House Republicans to keep their word and enact the $1.2 trillion in across-the-board spending cuts they promised in April  (news.yahoo.com) (173)


Thu January 19, 2012
(Some Guy) Dumbass Obama political ad claims that Politifact certified as "Promise Kept" his campaign promise to clean up ethics in the White House. Politifact: "Um, well that was actually for one specific item back in 2009"  (politifact.com) (65)
(Daily Kos) Dumbass Newt may have just committed a felony by offering Palin a job for her endorsement. In his defense, he very rarely keeps promises he makes to women  (dailykos.com) (125)


Wed January 18, 2012
(KVIA.com) Amusing Man spends a week in the hospital for pneumonia, a few weeks later gets $44 million bill, promptly returns to same hospital after heart attack  (kvia.com) (19)
(Fark) PSA Uh-oh...Drew is promising to greenlight everything. LGT main page thread NOT EVERTHING JUST STUFF SuBMITTED BY TOOLS  (fark.com) (105)


Tue January 17, 2012
(Daily Mail) Unlikely Southern Baptist pastor and his wife promote "sexathon" by climbing into bed. On the roof of their church. Along with their teenage daughter and three other kids  (dailymail.co.uk) (88)


Thu January 12, 2012
(Yahoo) Followup US 10th Circuit Court of Appeals rules that Oklahoma's ban on Sharia law is unconstitutional, then promptly gives the plaintiff the secret Muslim high-five and yells "all hail the coming Caliphate" before ululating wildly  (news.yahoo.com) (122)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Jason Alexander promotes Courtney Stodden. Was that wrong? Should he not have done that?  (dailymail.co.uk) (54)


Tue January 10, 2012
(Canada.com) Obvious Syria's Assad promises "iron fist" and reforms, which isn't a contradiction since previously regime had been using "iron fist with spikes"  (canada.com) (20)


Fri January 06, 2012
(New York Daily News) Dumbass Arbeit Macht Thin: Dubai gym uses photo of Nazi death camp Auschwitz to promote weight loss  (nydailynews.com) (74)
(Fark) FarkParty Impromptu Twin Cities Fark Party. Because YOU asked for it. Jan 6, TONIGHT at Psycho Suzi's  (fark.com) (180)
(Some Hater) Obvious China is all over Pakistan like a drunk prom date. Pakistan ready to take the relationship to "a new level". US sits in corner and glares  (tribune.com.pk) (33)


Thu January 05, 2012
(Scientific American) Obvious Newt Gingrich named geekiest GOP presidential candidate by Scientific American; promptly cancels his subscription and starts subscribing to Discover  (scientificamerican.com) (49)


Wed January 04, 2012
(USA Today) Cool Roku unveils its Streaming Stick, promptly gets booted off Chatroulette  (usatoday.com) (51)
(Starpulse) Scary Concert promoter inks deal to have rapper Nas perform in Angola on New Year's Eve. Nas misses his flight and doesn't make it to the show. That's a-kidnapping  (starpulse.com) (51)
(Yahoo) Obvious You know sometimes the ACLU can seem picky and annoying when demanding governments not fund things that seem to promote religion. But in the case of WV's "Jesus Fest" they may have a point  (news.yahoo.com) (291)
(YouTube) Amusing Morning weatherman will read ANYTHING in the prompter  (youtube.com) (26)


Tue January 03, 2012
(WTOP) Hero Lone woman sues Honda in small-claims court for not delivering promised mpg in her hybrid. Fark: After opting out of the class action lawsuit that Honda settled with $200 to owners and an $8.5 million payout to trial lawyers  (wtop.com) (119)


Mon January 02, 2012
(The Raw Story) Interesting Cantor: "I'll never compromise my core issues" Reporter: "What about Reagan? He raised taxes." Cantor: "You know what? I never thought of things that way. Interesting" No, ha ha, just joking...he spazzed out  (rawstory.com) (205)
(SFGate) Strange Georgia Walmart store getting mixed results from new "free syringe with every clothing purchase" promotion  (sfgate.com) (18)


Sat December 31, 2011
(Chicago Tribune) Unlikely Obama "no longer needs Congress to promote his agenda," says fear will keep the local systems in line  (chicagotribune.com) (114)
(MSNBC) Interesting Underwater cannon could show promise in fighting off invasive species...if scientists could figure out how to light the damn fuse  (msnbc.msn.com) (12)


Fri December 30, 2011
(Yahoo) Obvious North Korea's new leader promises to continue the same policy of belligerent assholishness towards the West that the country has always had  (news.yahoo.com) (58)


Thu December 29, 2011
(AL.com) Florida After BP donated $30 million to help Florida's tourism industry, officials spent the money on a poker tournament, fleece blankets, sports towels, a "most deserving mom" contest, and a prom for senior citizens  (blog.al.com) (21)
(TMZ) Interesting Kardashian nanny is shopping tell-all book around to publishers, promises to reveal whether there really were five lights  (tmz.com) (25)
(Yahoo) Misc Wrestling legend Kamala, the Ugandan Headhunter "unders leg amputation". After waking from sedation he promptly removes prosthetic, bashes doctor over head with it  (sports.yahoo.com) (35)


Wed December 28, 2011
(Some Guy) Followup Screenwriter Damon Lindelof clears up the confusion about whether Prometheus is really an Alien prequel or not. Well not exactly  (joblo.com) (47)


Tue December 27, 2011
(Fox News) Asinine Nancy Pelosi promises to continue to keep the 99% in her prayers, as she quietly checks into her $10,000 Hawaiian resort suite. That's PER NIGHT  (nation.foxnews.com) (267)
(The Daily Beast) Sad Mayo clinic workers speeding to organ-donation site create impromptu organ-donation site of their own  (thedailybeast.com) (31)


Thu December 22, 2011
(National Journal) News House Republicans cave to outside pressure, agree to compromise with Democrats. This is not a repeat from ever  (nationaljournal.com) (282)
(Huffington Post) Amusing "I wanted to be a lot of things, but I never -- I PROMISE you -- ever wanted to grow up to be someone known as 'The Penis Mom'"  (huffingtonpost.com) (252)
(Huffington Post) Stupid A Girl Scouts troop's decision to admit a 7-year-old transgender child this fall has prompted three leaders to resign and dissolve their troops. Guess they'll all forfeit their tolerance badges  (huffingtonpost.com) (560)
(Yahoo) Spiffy 2006: Browns rookie promises $10,000 scholarships to 100 H.S. freshmen if they graduate with a 2.5 GPA. 2011: Now a 49ers player, spends nearly a year's salary to make good  (sports.yahoo.com) (78)


Wed December 21, 2011
(TMZ) Interesting AI runner-up David Archuleta announces he's taking a break from performing. Tulsa Holiday Inn promptly checks for availability of Justin Guarini  (tmz.com) (19)


Mon December 19, 2011
(Yahoo) Interesting Lady Gaga voted entertainer of the year, promptly tucks the award between her legs and walks away  (news.yahoo.com) (49)


Sun December 18, 2011
(Deseret News) Dumbass Couple returns to their car from a busy day of shoplifting to discover someone broke in and stole the fruits of their labor, promptly notify police (with mugshots)  (deseretnews.com) (84)


Thu December 15, 2011
(NPR) Followup No, Obama did not j/k on his promise to veto the defense bill if it included language to incarcerate without due process. Language of the bill was changed to exempt US citizens before being signed  (npr.org) (259)
(ProJo.com) Interesting Red Sox to announce new scholarship for high school students. Expected to be promising over the summer but collapse by the time school starts  (news.providencejournal.com) (15)
(Guardian) Sad Obama jk's his promise to veto the bill that gives him the power to disappear Americans who displease him. Tag is for the United States Constitution, 1787 - 2011  (guardian.co.uk) (260)


Tue December 13, 2011
(Celebslam) Cool The most beautiful celebs of 2011. Prominently featuring Sofia Vergara's cleavage, of course  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (105)


Sun December 11, 2011
(Talking Points Memo) Stupid It turns out that "promoting Christ" by donning paramilitary gear and staging a home invasion isn't really a good idea after all   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (110)


Thu December 08, 2011
(Washington Post) Obvious "Some children's cereals packed with sugar." This message brought to you by the Institute for Scientists Who Woke Up and Realized they Promised to Publish Something Today  (washingtonpost.com) (121)


Wed December 07, 2011
(Fark) FarkParty Impromptu NOLA Fark Party this Saturday night (12/10/2011) at Tracey's on Magazine Street. Beer will flow like wine, and someone's getting naked  (fark.com) (78)


Mon December 05, 2011
(TC Palm) Florida Woman bends over and dares man to slap her monster badonkadonk on crowded street, prompting screwdriver attacks and arrests. With pics  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (123)


Sat December 03, 2011
(Some Guy) Asinine School puts up Ten Commandments display. Student complains, prompts ACLU to file lawsuit. Of course, the school wants to force the court to release the student's name and are calling him a "coward" for remaining anonymous  (roanoke.com) (411)
(Fark) Cool Impromptu NOLA Fark Party - 12/10/2011  (fark.com) (8)


Thu December 01, 2011
(Some Guy) Interesting YouTube redesign launches, prompting a huge yawn of outrage. You'll get over it  (mashable.com) (61)
(The Atlantic Wire) Followup Apple apologizes for Siri's pro-life bias and promises that next version with work with coat-hanger attachment  (theatlanticwire.com) (95)
(Onion AV Club) Followup Fox president all but confirms Prometheus is an alien prequel, says he's "heartbroken" about the leaked footage. But not as heartbroken as the people who watched it expecting some excitement  (avclub.com) (28)


Wed November 30, 2011
(Some Guy) Stupid So what you are saying is that Pedo Bear works like the bat signal, the sword of omens, and promises of free beer  (therepublic.com) (110)
(Market Place) Followup Facebook promises that this is really the last time, once and for all, that they violate their privacy policy. Thankfully the FTC doesn't believe it either  (marketplace.org) (20)


Tue November 29, 2011
(Daily Mail) Interesting Not News: Student gets lucky at the prom. Way to go man: with his hot teacher  (dailymail.co.uk) (78)


Mon November 28, 2011
(Blah Bethany) Fail TLC's new promo for their show Virgin Diaries, featuring virgins kissing for the first time on their wedding day, receives early Emmy nod for Most Hawkward Promo Evar  (blahbethany.com) (100)


Sun November 27, 2011
(ESPN) Cool Senior wide receiver steps in to play quarterback in his last game, promptly ends 26-year streak, becomes legend  (espn.go.com) (21)
(The Atlantic) Interesting Why do liberals ignore the fact that Obama has not kept his campaign promises? Bonus: Written by a liberal  (theatlantic.com) (428)


Thu November 24, 2011
(GameSpot) Followup EA: Sorry PS3 gamers who bought BF3, we aren't including BF1943 like we promised. Gamers: Okay, here is a lawsuit. EA: Sorry, there seem to be some misunderstandings here  (gamespot.com) (70)
(Huffington Post) Followup Takeru Kobayashi shatters yesterday's 10 minute turkey eating world record by more than 2 pounds. Promptly says he's now going to quit cold turkey  (huffingtonpost.com) (22)
(News.com.au) Amusing Musical maturity: Justin Bieber decides to sing live, not lip sync. Musical immaturity: Promptly forgets the words to 'Santa Claus Is Coming To Town'  (news.com.au) (32)


Mon November 21, 2011
(Slate) Ironic Ayn Rand quotes are now prominent on shopping bags  (slate.com) (255)
(G4TV) Interesting The next Tomb Raider movie will not suck. Really, they promise this time  (g4tv.com) (33)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Maurice Jones Drew mocks Cleveland fans with LeBron James-style chalk toss, promptly has chalk blown back in his face by karma  (sports.yahoo.com) (32)
(Townhall) Obvious "They are the "Participation Ribbon People" - a generation rewarded and praised simply for showing up. The result of social promotion, time-outs over spanking and the misguided concept that reward is deserved and not earned"  (townhall.com) (428)


Sun November 20, 2011
(Fark) Spiffy We have a battle of the undefeated at the Etihad, Arsenal and Man U facing newly promoted teams and best of all, not having to pretend to care about International friendlies. It's this week's EPL thread (bumped for Sunday games)  (fark.com) (270)


Fri November 18, 2011
(times sun) Dumbass Good citizenship: Arriving promptly at court to answer your summons. Bad citizenship: In a stolen car  (timesunion.com) (9)


Thu November 17, 2011
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida 10-year-old breaks into impound lot and steals pickup truck. An 80's movie promptly breaks out  (orlandosentinel.com) (34)


Tue November 15, 2011
(Discovery) Interesting Scientists create world's smallest electric vehicle, promptly forget where they parked it  (news.discovery.com) (8)


Sun November 13, 2011
(USA Today) Spiffy Royal Caribbean lowers drinking age on ships overseas. Promises that any teen who can't handle their alcohol will be put into dry dock  (travel.usatoday.com) (24)
(MSNBC) Asinine After slamming through a $22 million initiative to privatize liquor sales and close state-run liquor stores, Costco promises to offer job interviews to displaced liquor store workers. Hooray for capitalism  (msnbc.msn.com) (90)


Sat November 12, 2011
(My Fox Phoenix) Fail Truck overturns and dumps 575 boxes of lettuce across interstate, snarling traffic for 7 hours. Company officials promise heads will roll  (myfoxphoenix.com) (32)


Fri November 11, 2011
(Some Guy) Amusing Police use the promise of free beer to capture suspects during Operation Dirty Goddamn Trick  (news.sky.com) (49)


Thu November 10, 2011
(Popular Science) Interesting Japanese researchers create pituitary gland from scratch in the lab; promptly bread it and fry it, serve with maguro and ikura in salmon skin handroll  (popsci.com) (33)


Wed November 09, 2011
(The Local (Germany)) Spiffy German college students pose for erotic calendar promoting knowledge as sexy. With links in the article to both the men's slideshow and the women's. Equal giggity for all  (thelocal.de) (571)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Supersized model gets supersized mad at a company for using her image to promote infidelity. With SFW photo goodness of what a supersized model may look like  (dailymail.co.uk) (286)


Tue November 08, 2011
(LA Times) Obvious Internet 101: when creating fictitious, award-winning authors for some (not news) promo articles, avoid using stock photos of food bank workers nicknamed "Cobra." Also, a degree in "construction sciences?" Really?  (latimes.com) (58)
(Short List) Strange The Hannibal Lecter show lands on NBC. Here's hoping for a cross-promotion where he has Whitney Cummings for dinner  (shortlist.com) (65)
(Seattle Times) Followup 20 years ago a prominent sports figure told the world he was HIV-positive. Magically, he's still here  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (47)


Mon November 07, 2011
(Talking Points Memo) Followup Gloria Allred is sticking her nose in the Herman Cain harassment saga, this time promising to "introduce a new accuser" to the world  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com) (122)


Thu November 03, 2011
(Fark) FarkParty Impromptu Twin Cities Fark Party - Friday November 4th @ 6:30pm at Psycho Suzi's  (fark.com) (52)


Wed November 02, 2011
(FilmDrunk) Amusing The Steven Seagal movie plot word cloud. I see that the words "kill," "dead," "killed," and "discovers cold" are quite prominent  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) (21)
(FITSnews) Amusing "That post got picked up by Fark.com - which promptly sent about half a million hits to our website. Thanks, dudes." You're welcome... I guess. (contains possibly not-safe-for-work pics of slutty Halloween costume)  (fitsnews.com) (1)


Mon October 31, 2011
(YouTube) Video Not news: Soccer player falls to the ground. Fark: After getting sucker punched from behind by a fan. Ultra Fark: Fan promptly receives a few kicks to the head from the player's team  (youtube.com) (54)


Sat October 29, 2011
(Some Guy) Hero Rick Santorum makes promise to die  (wisconsingazette.com) (215)


Fri October 28, 2011
(Some Guy) Asinine Small-town Texas gun store airs an eloquent radio ad promoting responsible weapon safety. Nah, just kidding, the radio ad states they will deny service to Muslims and socialists  (kvue.com) (500)


Tue October 25, 2011
(The Hill) Interesting Juan Williams: "People are fed up with pledges that enforce far right or far left orthodoxy and being told they lack a spine when they listen to the other side of an argument or call for a political compromise to reach a solution"  (thehill.com) (232)


Mon October 24, 2011
(NASA) Fail NASA's next-generation space observatory comes to Baltimore, promptly gets gonorrhea, stabbed in the chest  (nasa.gov) (20)
(Jezebel) Fail That awkward moment when you co-write a book with your friend, then stop being friends with her, then have to appear together on live farking television to promote it (w/ awkward-as-hell video)  (jezebel.com) (33)
(Yahoo) Interesting Pope names three saints. Man disrupts mass. Promptly floats off planet  (news.yahoo.com) (80)


Sat October 22, 2011
(The New York Times) Interesting Ex-governor Mark Sanford joins Fox News, promises that he'll never abandon it for a younger, hotter, Argentinian network  (thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com) (49)


Fri October 21, 2011
(BBC) Fail Britain hands over its first set of prison keys to the private sector, who promptly loses them  (bbc.co.uk) (61)
(Some Guy) Fail After getting a promotion do you: C) Steal cash and torch the business?  (kentonline.co.uk) (33)


Thu October 20, 2011
(Washington Post) Dumbass Protip: If you're going to promote your new website on Twitter, you should probably register it first  (washingtonpost.com) (12)
(AL.com) Dumbass Man dressed as Spiderman and wielding a sword attempts to rob a convenience store, promptly gets ass kicked by store clerk wielding a broom  (blog.al.com) (51)


Wed October 19, 2011
(US NEWS) Obvious News: Obama makes a statement without the use of his teleprompter. Yes, this really is news. Fark: The news report states that his comment was one sentence long  (usnews.com) (132)
(Team Coco) Followup Conan shows first video of Obama without his TelePrompter  (teamcoco.com) (166)


Tue October 18, 2011
(Huffington Post) Obvious And to the surprise of absolutely no one, Gov Scott Walker of Wisconsin broke his campaign promise to pay for his own pension  (huffingtonpost.com) (108)
(Politico) Obvious President Obama's teleprompter briefly stolen. Obama speechless  (politico.com) (345)

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