Headlines matching 'pre'
Mon May 28, 2012
Sun May 27, 2012
Sat May 26, 2012
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Will Junior dos Santos KO Alistair Overeem? Oh, wait, drug testing already KOed Overeem. Well, anyway, it's dos Santo vs. Frank Mir at UFC 146, prelims begin at 6:45 PM on Facebook, 8 PM on FX, with the main card at 10 PM ET on PPV (withleather.uproxx.com)
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Paleoanthropologist predicts that evolution deniers will become extinct within 30 years (nytimes.com)
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The Seattle Sounders are outdrawing 12 English Premier League teams. But they'll totally give that soccer thing up once the Mariners or Seahawks get good again, right? RIGHT? (espn.go.com)
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What happens when a precious little snowflake get his JD and goes to work on Wall Street? He sues his health spa for $500k for not receiving his "full complimentary breakfast" (abcnews.go.com)
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Entertainment Weekly's readers have voted for the best Saturday Night Live host of the past season, and it proves one thing: we should not let them vote in the presidential election (popwatch.ew.com)
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Jurassic Park was built by prisoners in Cuba, with obligatory pics of prehistoric Cubans fighting cave-bears (io9.com)
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Fri May 25, 2012
Thu May 24, 2012
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Need an excuse to waste more of your time online? Paste presents the 50 best movies on Netflix Instant (pastemagazine.com)
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If you want a preview of what rich Americans will do while their country burns, look no further than Greece (cnbc.com)
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The filth saved on your hard drive can spread throughout the entire PC (liveleak.com)
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Chris Hansen wants a new arena built in Seattle, preferably somewhere over there (blog.seattlepi.com)
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Amy Winehouse, Whitney Houston, Robin Gibb. Is Glee Predicting Musicians' Deaths Like A "Musical Nostradamus?" (womc.cbslocal.com)
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Russia tests new missile with previously unachievable performance as a response to USA missile defense system (english.pravda.ru)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Final proof that president's war room picture was faked (balloon-juice.com)
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Presidential candidate Romney afraid to be linked with policies of a moderate Republican, Governor Mitt Romney (politico.com)
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Google says government cybercrime is the greatest threat to the internet; helping governments repress their own citizens and pushing for a tiered internet greatest ideals (guardian.co.uk)
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Megan Fox, now 5 months pregnant, is expecting a girl. Publicist confirms she's excited, nervous, all thumbs (celebitchy.com)
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Undoubtedly the coolest picture of a pair of porn stars hanging with President Clinton that you will see all day (nydailynews.com)
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The twenty lamest-looking villains from all of Star Trek. Pretty accurate list, but it's missing the Borg and Suliban (toplessrobot.com)
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Nut Liquor is pretty good except it sometimes feels like it's sticking to the roof of your mouth (blog.seattlepi.com)
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Wed May 23, 2012
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Alas, the vetting of Mitt Romney's Mormonism by the mainstream press has begun (nytimes.com)
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Undoubtedly the coolest picture of a 5 year old boy patting President Obama on the head that you will see all day (nytimes.com)
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| (Architizer) |
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Korean artist constructs "Type City", a leaden miniature city made out of movable type from junked printing press. Meanwhile, in Comic Sansville, you are advised not to drink from public fontains (architizer.com)
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Greece could slip out of the Euro and we'd feel a little pressure, but it won't be painful if we do it right. Trust me (telegraph.co.uk)
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Duckie, Andie and Blane renew Pretty in Pink rivalry on Twitter (tampabay.com)
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Blogger claims that Roger Ailes claims that Jon Stewart once admitted to him in a bar that he was a socialist, so that means Sarah Palin is automatically president and Stewart has to dig a hole and sit in it (breitbart.com)
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Why won't you libs leave the Palin family alone? They just want to fade back into the obscurity of normal life by sending out press releases about their new reality TV shows (wonkette.com)
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Hawaii provides Arizona with President Obama's birth records to finally put to rest the question of his citizenship. No wait, this is Arizona.. scratch that (news.yahoo.com)
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"Why would a president who gave America vast unemployment, soaring inflation, a moribund economy, record deficits, and a manically ill-conceived energy policy be coasting toward re-election?" (reason.com)
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MSNBC asks the questions we all want to know: "Painting over a presidential penis, respect or vandalism?" (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com)
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Barry Ritholz: Facebook, led by the man-child Zuck screwed this up pretty badly. They were pigs about this (finance.yahoo.com)
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This summer's road construction delays are brought to you by a pregnant elephant. This is not a euphemism for the fat guys anxiously waiting for the roach coach to deliver their donuts (blog.oregonlive.com)
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The power of the "bully pulpit" - Opposition to same-sex marriage fell to a record low after President Obama's announced support. Fabulous (upi.com)
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United Airlines addresses traveler inequality by ending pre-boarding for families with children (travel.usatoday.com)
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The fact that, un-vetted, "Barak Hussein Obama" was just elected the President of the United States of America and that we landed a man on the moon, sent spacecraft to the outer regions of space, etc., makes this strategy possible (teapartytribune.com)
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"Uncommitted" beat President Obama in 67 of Kentucky's 120 counties. This is good for everybody, except President Obama (theatlanticwire.com)
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AFL-CIO president beats a piñata with Gov. Nikki Haley's face on it. Thankfully in our post-Giffords assassination attempt era, the mainstream media is quick to report this and Democrats are distancing themselves them the union (hotair.com)
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Tue May 22, 2012
Mon May 21, 2012
Sun May 20, 2012
Sat May 19, 2012
Fri May 18, 2012
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Obamunists, Paulterians, Mittenfreaks, and maybe even Johnsoners can all agree on something: arresting a WWII veteran for "electioneering" from wearing an Obama t-shirt in a room next to a poll is pretty farked up (wfaa.com)
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MTV cancels "I Just Want My Pants Back" presumably to make room for "Ow, My Balls" on the fall line-up (chicagotribune.com)
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Not news: Chicago Cubs owner seeking $100 million in tax breaks. Fark: Apparently so he can spend more of his own money on a PAC attacking Obama. Dumbass: Apparently he's also forgotten what Chicago's mayor's previous job was (chicagobusiness.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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It's easy to think UFO 'summoner' Robert Bingham is a crackpot for predicting a mass sighting on Saturday in LA. Except, he's done it before. And it worked (news.gather.com)
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Radio host and easy prey Rush Limbaugh wonders when the environmentalist wackos are going to start doing something about all the pollution and environmental damage being caused by lions, tigers, and sharks (mediamatters.org)
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Six shot, three dead in Louisville. If only there had been an armed citizen nearby we could have prevented this tragedy (news.yahoo.com)
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Republican committee, many of whose members live hundreds of miles from DC, hold meeting to discuss DC abortion rights. Bonus: Do not allow DC's only (non-voting) representative to speak. Super bonus: She's a woman (washingtonpost.com)
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Comedy Central pretty upset that lefty attempts at Twitter hashtag memes are quickly usurped by conservatives mocking them. Why it's almost as if Twitter favored short, pithy comments and silly hashtags #dishiatoutbutcanttakeitin (indecisionforever.com)
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Pretty much the coolest Star Wars Lego toy store display ever (youtube.com)
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Fulton County 911 center is pro-choice. Female employees have the choice to get pregnant, or keep their jobs (ajc.com)
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Support for President Obama amongst the U.S. prison population expected to rise, as the administration ordered federal, state and local officials to adopt zero tolerance for prison rape (news.yahoo.com)
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Thu May 17, 2012
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New York State Supreme Court Justice, suffering from pancreatic cancer, begs state legislature to legalize medical marijuana: "It is barbaric to deny us access to one substance that has proved to ameliorate our suffering" (nytimes.com)
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Potential Vice President nominee, Bobby Jindal, did what in college? c) Preformed an exorcism on his girlfriend (motherjones.com)
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In the final 90 seconds of the season Manchester City win the English Premier League for first time in 44 years. Home video of entirely unbiased and disinterested Manchester United and Manchester City fans reaction (youtube.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Blizzard: "We were not prepared" (vg247.com)
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The president says he is a "practicing Christian." It is difficult to be one while simultaneously holding a low view of the Bible, which his position on several social issues might suggest (townhall.com)
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Will Smith's kung fu son gets right to the point and asks President Obama about the space aliens (popwatch.ew.com)
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Azithromycin may increase the likelihood of sudden death in adults, especially those who have heart issues. Hey, my dentist prescribes that for me, because of my heart operation. Seriously she does. THUD (nytimes.com)
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GOP plan "calls for hiring an 'extremely literate conservative African-American' to accuse Obama of lying in presenting himself as a 'metrosexual, black Abe Lincoln.'" No, seriously (nytimes.com)
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Did you know? President Zaphod Beeblebrox once said, "If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now." Today, the Obama administration carries on that philosophy in a more tech-savvy way (newsbusters.org)
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May 13, 2012: the most exciting day in EPL soccer history, compressed to less than 8 minutes of mind-blowing split-screen action (deadspin.com)
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Wed May 16, 2012
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Okay, now this is getting ridiculous. Apparently Obama is America's first "Amish President" as well because he won't let his daughters use Facebook or cell phones (abcnews.go.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Snooki promises to give up tanning while pregnant, will name the baby Mel ... for melanoma (usmagazine.com)
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Real Americans in Nebraska GOP take a hard right turn into Palin country. Democratic nominee and former Senator, Bob Kerrey, last seen dancing a jig and preparing his victory speech (cnn.com)
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Hey, remember those first steps President Obama took beside Neil Armstrong on the moon? And when he guest-lectured with Albert Einstein? Oh man, good times, good times (content.usatoday.com)
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Mitt Romney awkwardly avoids referring to George W. Bush by name, presumably because his name has been removed from his programming (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
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Facebook discovers there's a lot more suckers out there than previously thought (news.cnet.com)
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Old and busted: Obama was born in Kenya. New hotness: Obama's grandfather was a CIA agent who convinced Barack Obama Sr. to marry his daughter to hide the fact that she was impregnated by a 55-year-old communist named Frank Marshall Davis (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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"Well, we can't give the $72 million it would take to build a new bridge because the old one is unsafe. But we can spend $10 million to paint the old one and make it look prettier" (qctimes.com)
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Take-home HIV test approved by FDA in unanimous vote could prevent thousands of transmissions, frat house gang bangs, annually (nytimes.com)
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Has YOUR President scored the game-winning goal against a team of Russian Hockey Legends? Pootie-Poot has (video.msnbc.msn.com)
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Smoking Hot/Ex-IDF/KILLER Smile/ *wrecks* a drum kit. I present to you, Meytal Cohen. Let the kittens hit the floor, Let the kittens hit the floor, LET the KITTENS Hit the FLOOR, LET THE KITTENS HIT THE, FLOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRR (youtube.com)
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| (LoanSafe) |
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LoanSafe sees the reality in FARK's prediction of future social security benefits (2nd paragraph) (loansafe.org)
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30 years from now: some predictions (buzzfeed.com)
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| (Some Player) |
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Church Softball team dropped from league because preacher plays for both teams (ksdk.com)
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Voting. So easy a someone pretending to be a non-citizen who can't vote under US law can do it (hotair.com)
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Black Jewish rapper Y-Love comes out of the closet, is only one square away from Oppressed Minority Bingo (marquee.blogs.cnn.com)
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Tue May 15, 2012
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Rust Belt cities like Detroit and Cleveland are becoming more popular with young people eager to live in the present-day equivalent of "Blade Runner" (salon.com)
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RAF performs perfect 'ER II' formation in skies over North Wales in preparation for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee (telegraph.co.uk)
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It's UFC on FUEL TV 3: The Korean Zombie vs. Dustin Poirier. Preliminary action starts at 5:30 ET on Facebook, Main card at 8:30 ET on Fuel TV (ufc.com)
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Romney: Debt is like a prairie fire. Scientists: Prairie Fires are actually an important part of the ecosystem that prevented the prairie from becoming forest. Also, American Prairie is almost non-existent these days (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
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ESPN relaunches 30 for 30, this time with short films instead of full length documentaries. They start out with the most depressing goddamn film they have - a day in the life of Pete Rose (grantland.com)
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12 year old hands Bank of Canada its ass back to them cleaned and pressed (bloomberg.com)
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When a movie opens by dedicating itself "In loving memory of Kim Jong-Il," it's pretty safe to say all bets are off (nydailynews.com)
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President Obama: Economy, not gay marriage, will decide the vote. You Sir, are out of here (hosted.ap.org)
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The filibuster is unconstitutional, and the best lawyer in America is suing to get the Supreme Court to abolish it (washingtonpost.com)
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Just when you thought President Obama couldn't get any gayer (gawker.com)
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"I predict in the year 2020, New York and other enlightened states will decriminalize the world's oldest profession, namely prostitution. And I'd like to give a shout-out to Billy Ray Cyrus" (myfoxdc.com)
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First appearance of the Judean People's Front, high school students succumb to pier pressure, and Oden keeps his alcohol problems loki: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/6 - 5/12 (fark.com)
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| (Business Insider) |
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The President is not eligible to serve. No, not that one. This one (businessinsider.com)
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Rush Limbaugh inducted into "The Hall Of Famous Missourians". Predictably, Democrats get wadded panties over this. Chill, guys, he really IS famous. It's not like he got the Nobel Peace Prize for doing nothing, after all (huffingtonpost.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Fark-ready headline: "Labor board says Boner retaliated against pair" Bonus: Boss says he wouldn't have sexually harassed fired workers because they weren't "young and pretty" enough (dnj.com)
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Greece chooses to continue not collecting taxes, rather than pay their debts. Germany seen preparing das boot (guardian.co.uk)
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Barack Obama, the first female president (washingtonpost.com)
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Nanny state sends police to a toddler's birthday party because. A) Parents got in a fight. B) Pedophile was present. C) Mom tried to light the candles (thesun.co.uk)
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Comic art legend Neal Adams to draw X-Men prequel mini-series starring Wolverine and a Nazi-hunting Magneto. No word yet whether the Expanding Earth Theory will be involved (io9.com)
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Mon May 14, 2012
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Eighteen-year-old hottie makes incredible recovery from brain tumor operation which left her unable to walk, talk or eat. She's now studying to be a teacher, presumably to have sex with her students (w/pics) (thesun.co.uk)
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You have chosen to be on the wrong side of history and I do not support your run for president any longer (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
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Newsweek: Obama is our first gay president. Salon: Not so fast there (salon.com)
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President Obama didn't feel like doing the Moonwalk today. HEE HEE (politicker.com)
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Finally, with student debt topping $1 trillion, college presidents are waking up and recognizing that they might have to handle education costs through methods other than tuition increases. Maybe think about following a budget and things (nytimes.com)
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Noel Gallagher: "I cried like a baby when Manchester City won the Premier League." Here comes Liam Gallagher to give him a noogie and a swirlie (nme.com)
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Time-travelling plane crashed in prehistoric Canada. It's a good thing they brought their own weapons (news.yahoo.com)
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Can you keep a secret? American veterans prefer a Muslim over a Mormon (news.yahoo.com)
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Eight times that a Vice President did something that really mattered (slate.com)
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Mainstream republicans got a preview last weekend of how much chaos and trouble Ron Paul could cause at the RNC, and it's scaring the crap out of them. RON PAUL (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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"After the media went ballistic on me, I received an e-mail offering me money not to preach at all until the November presidential election."; Wright said, "Barack wanted to meet me in secret, in a secure place" (nypost.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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One of the most winning F1 drivers in history is punished for not being able to comprehend how bad an F1 purchased-seat driver can be (planetf1.com)
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Facebook to become even more creepy, but it's okay because they'll be giving your data to people who want to stalk you for your own good. With pic of what Zuck might look like if he were receiving oral pleasure from the technology press (pcworld.com)
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Contraceptive implants may prevent repeat teen pregnancies. Finally, something to offset the effects that breast implants had on getting them pregnant in the first place (cnbc.com)
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"For any passengers who've not visited London before, do please prepare yourselves for the capital's overwhelmingly calm and relaxing pace of life" (bbc.co.uk)
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Sun May 13, 2012
Sat May 12, 2012
Fri May 11, 2012
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Greene County, Va., Republicans distribute newsletter decrying a living wage, the biblically hostile president, and calling for armed insurrection. Oh, and they also have a killer "conservative potato and egg delight" recipe (volokh.com)
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HBO co-president thinks internet-based TV is on the way out. Also expects dinosaurs to make a comeback (forbes.com)
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To prepare for the Mother's Day weekend, let's stop random pedestrians on a city street and ask "have you ever seen your mother naked?" (huffingtonpost.com)
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Photoshop these pretend pandas (cdn.theatlantic.com)
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Why do some Christians say the Bible is explicitly against gay marriage and others say the Bible supports it? Why, it's almost as if words and language can be interpreted different ways (npr.org)
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WWII fighter found perfectly preserved in the Sahara 70 years after it disappeared. Pilot unaccounted for but is likely somewhere nearby making a scale model of Devil's Tower out of mashed potatoes (dailymail.co.uk)
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Bill O'Reilly on same-sex marriage: "I agree with President Obama" (with poll that makes just as much sense) (foxnews.com)
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Defense Department Joint Forces Staff College advocates 'total war' on Islam using "the historical precedents of Dresden, Tokyo, Hiroshima, Nagasaki" to Makkah and Medinah (wired.com)
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Most US students fail at science, don't understand that if they aren't part of the solution....they are part of the precipitate (ocregister.com)
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I'm no Biblical scholar, but I'm pretty sure Jesus never ripped off a chunk of someone's earlobe for not doing the dishes (couriermail.com.au)
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Thu May 10, 2012
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You remember that time in the 10th to 12th centuries when the Christian church had no problem marrying gay couples? Yeah, that was a pretty cool time (iheartchaos.com)
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Will the Bulls realize they're playing the Sixers? Will the Lakers fall prey to the altitude? Will Rondo make up for his butterfingers? Will anyone force a Game 7? It's today's NBA Playoffs Thread. First tipoff is at 7 pm Eastern (scores.espn.go.com)
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"I'm not racist," says leader of white supremacist group accused of hate crime plot (cfnews13.com)
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Believe it or not, there are actually people out there who interpret President Obama's support for gay marriage to mean that he's secretly gay. It's like the world is full of idiots or something (uproxx.com)
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Mom puts boob in giant preschool son's mouth on cover of Time and you've clicked the link waka waka waka (gawker.com)
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The Amazing Spider-Man is releasing "super previews" now (gammasquad.uproxx.com)
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The GOP now wants pre-1790s census surveys to go with their pre-1960s health care system, pre-1930s finance laws, and pre-1900s campaigning rules (huffingtonpost.com)
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Republicans: Hey Dems, we want to keep student loan interest rates low too, we just want to take the money from preventative cancer screening programs instead of the wealthy, why are you so obstructionist? (forbes.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Why computers are awesome: Medicare inspectors were able to uncover $5.6 billion in potential fraud by running a statistical analysis on all 1 billion prescriptions filled at retail pharmacies that were billed to Medicare last year (kens5.com)
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Iowa Governor: Obama is changing his stance on gay marriage to get the Hollywood money that, were it not for the President's gay marriage stance, would have been going to Mitt Romney (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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| (Some Guy Who Believes) |
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Obama is the "small government president." No, he says so himself. So you just know it's true (sayanythingblog.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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On May 5th President Barack Obama officially launched his re-election campaign. What is the significance of May 5th? As Obama and his friends undoubtedly know, it is Karl Marx's birthday (christianconceptsdaily.com)
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Network to air political drama about a philandering former President of the United States and his Secretary of State ex-wife. Fark: Network insists the series is fictional (dailymail.co.uk)
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A new drug, Truvada has been shown to 94% effective in preventing AIDS infections in healthy people - which is why AIDS prevention advocates fear it will be a disastrous to their efforts to prevent the spread of AIDS (abcnews.go.com)
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Obama will forever be remembered as the "Washington, AC/DC President" (msnbc.msn.com)
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"Same sex marriage does nothing to prevent the deterioration of marriage among non-affluent Americans." With bonus insult: "flagging liberal enthusiasm for the president" (thedailybeast.com)
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A new species of spiders that create trapdoors to catch their prey is discovered in: A) the Amazon, B) the Congo, or C) Auburn University (mnn.com)
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The US Supreme Court is once again ready to elect the president this November (chicagotribune.com)
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Vegas now has point spreads for 240 of the 256 games of the upcoming NFL season. See how many wins Vegas predicts your team to have (or not, if you're a Browns fan) (sports.yahoo.com)
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Medical predictions for the 21st century from 1955 are in many cases not that far off (io9.com)
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Sofia Vergara and boyfriend break up, presumably because of communication issues (upi.com)
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Wed May 09, 2012
Tue May 08, 2012
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Home run bounces off man's crotch, hits woman in face, impregnates hot dog vendor (deadspin.com)
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Fox News: "Women make less than men by choice." Preposterous. Everyone knows that women make more sandwiches than men (newshounds.us)
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Industries dependent on massive government handouts to even pretend that they make a profit, upset at these Tea Party people think that the government shouldn't prop up failing industries in favor of successful companies (hotair.com)
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"The Greatest Canadian" was a poor Baptist preacher that decided health care should be a fundamental right and then did something about it. Had he born in America, the US might be in better shape (neatorama.com)
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From now on, when asked a question you don't want to answer, just give a presidential response: "My views on this are evolving.". Bonus: Biden gaffes that make Bush look like a rocket surgeon (washingtonpost.com)
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Are the Democrats considering an unprecedented rich, white people ticket for 2016? (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
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Vice President Biden claims Mitt Romney can't beat Obama. Did I say Biden? Sorry, I meant Michele Bachmann (abcnews.go.com)
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Will Smith supports President Obama's call for higher taxes on the wealthy, says that more taxes should be paid by the rich people of Earf (insidemovies.ew.com)
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Vanderbilt robs Christian student groups of their religious freedom to not spread their faith to unbelievers (foxnews.com)
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Someone in talks to buy the Phoenix Coyotes. Presumably by accident (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)
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You have to admit, it's pretty funny when it's other people's children being scarred for life. RUUUUUN ....Runnn ..... runnnnn (youtube.com)
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Playboy model mistakes Mexican presidential debate for every other show on Mexican TV. w/ SFW pic, unless you work at a convent (reuters.com)
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Dad pulls son out of school rather than have him attend a forum about how to express one's religious beliefs respectfully (upi.com)
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"I guess I could understand people who aren't twins are like, you have 12 sets? But since we're twins, we're like, nope, it's pretty mainstream over here." High school, like, about to graduate 12 sets of twins (myfoxatlanta.com)
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Mon May 07, 2012
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Spurs prepare to put the Jazz out of their misery, while the Clippers hope they can keep Memphis from leveling the series. It's your NBA playoffs discussion thread. Games begin at 8PM EST on TNT (scores.espn.go.com)
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Which old, retired guy will beat up John Cena this week? Will it be The Rock? Brock Lesnar? Johnny Ace? Baron Von Raschke? Lou Thesz? Georg Hackenschmidt? Find out when Senile Vince presents WWE Monday Night Raw, 9 PM on USA (bleacherreport.com)
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Ladies and gentlemen of Fark, I present the pizza cupcake (buzzfeed.com)
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The modern-day parent's dilemma: do you allow your precious offspring to go down that big, scary, gleaming slide by himself (and possibly die), or do you slide down with him and risk snapping his leg in half when it gets caught on the side? (wtop.com)
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Motley Crue bassist Nikki Sixx says he no longer supports Obama, so that means Lemmy Kilmister is automatically president and Obama is demoted to Minister of Misplaced Umlauts (breitbart.com)
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| (IBD) |
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Right-wing blogodome outrage du jour for Monday, May 7: Obama congratulated newly elected French President Francois Hollande after his victory yesterday instead of nuking Paris and killing Jerry Lewis (news.investors.com)
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How dare President Taxbama make the United States more appealing to immigrate to? (foxnews.com)
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President Obama is fooling no one with his positive spin on limp job numbers. That's why we had to write this editorial begging people not to be fooled...because he's not fooling anyone (nydailynews.com)
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| (Business Insider) |
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If you throw out the two bad years, under Bush the economy created 130K jobs per month. If you throw out Obama's first year, the economy created 131K jobs per month. It's almost as if the president has no real control over job creation (articles.businessinsider.com)
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Police use sloppy parking as pretext for drug bust, lose case because parking over the line is not a crime in Maryland (thenewspaper.com)
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Romney finally reveals his economic plan: "I say, well, look at what the president's done, and do the opposite" (chicagotribune.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The empty arena during the Obama rally? Yeah, about that (politicususa.com)
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| (Fiscal Times) |
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Economists now predicting a "lost decade" in the U.S., characterized by high unemployment, sluggish growth and rising inequality. Welcome to the Obama Economy (thefiscaltimes.com)
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Sun May 06, 2012
Sat May 05, 2012
Fri May 04, 2012
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How talented is Noel Gallagher? A male fan insists that Noel impregnated him (contactmusic.com)
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| (GJSentinel.com) |
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Headless chicken announces presidential campaign. Figures he has as much brains as the other guys (gjsentinel.com)
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SpaceX prepares for the first private sector mission to resupply the Coca Cola International Space Station. Brought to you by Carl's Jr (economist.com)
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Missouri state rep passes bill preventing gun owners for being fired for owning guns. So surely she's against people being fired for their sexual orientation, right? Aasif Mandvi investigates (thedailyshow.com)
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Who was the best Obi-Wan? Alec Guiness? Evan McGregor? Then you haven't seen the Redd Foxx interpretation. Bonus: Marie Osmond as Leia and Paul Lynde as Grand Moff Tarkin (neatorama.com)
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The first preview of Elder Scrolls Online is FRIGGIN' AWESOME (metro.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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If you live in AR, CO, FL, KY, LA, MO, NV, OH, TN or WV, it will suck to be you this fall. Prepare to be ground zero in the upcoming Citizens United-fueled presidential ad onslaught (electoral-vote.com)
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Stop me if you've heard this one before: A group of veterans, acting totally on their own of course and not as an arm of any political campaign, has organized to express their outrage over how the president is handling his military record (politics.blogs.foxnews.com)
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California GOP calls press conference to advertise itself as "Party of Yes". Then immediately calls for "no" vote on tax proposition (blogs.sacbee.com)
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Thu May 03, 2012
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"She is by far the most difficult. She's constantly demanding, never appreciative of anything and just plain nasty." If you guessed that this was said about Christina Aguilera, step forward and claim your prize (celebslam.celebuzz.com)
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The going price for rock in the Sierra foothills: $1000/gram. The catch: it has to fall from the sky and contain materials that predate our solar system (sacbee.com)
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Jennifer Lopez holds press conference to announce she gave a beau job (music.yahoo.com)
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Gingrich, Schmingrich. Who cares? THERE ARE STILL 380 PEOPLE WHO ARE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT (washingtontimes.com)
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"Wouldn't it be awesome though if [suspending a campaign] did mean suspending citizenship? Like if you lose a presidential primary, you're deported. Wouldn't that be awesome?" (entertainment.msnbc.msn.com)
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Hot Nashville Predator's ice girl scoops up a catfish off the ice last night. If you're looking at the fish to see if it's alive you're doing it wrong. (w/ video) (sports.yahoo.com)
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Woman faked pregnancy, even had her family throw her a baby shower, before she beat a woman with a tire iron and kidnapped her baby (foxcharlotte.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Reducing calories may preserve memory by reducing calories to preserve memory. Mmmmmm preserves (1035superx.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Horrifying: 1200 people receive the same jury summons for the same day causing a massive traffic jam. Fark: Courthouse clerk failed to update the system causing the "glitch". Milton Waddams said to be unimpressed (sacramento.cbslocal.com)
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A comprehensive summary of all the good things the TSA has been up to the last few weeks (boingboing.net)
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Chinese activist Chen Guangcheng had this idea about how in America, human rights take precedence over cheap drywall. Which is nuts, because any moron knows re-election takes precedence over human rights and drywall (cnn.com)
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The bartender's first mistake was serving five beers and 13 shots of Jagermeister to a man and his pregnant girlfriend (nwfdailynews.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Apparently feeling it is undeserving of the Worst Company in America title, EA claimed Rock Band disabling message was just an error, totally not true. Also, let's just pretend the FAQ update which confirmed the said error didn't exist (computerandvideogames.com)
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This is pretty much exactly what the word geekgasm was created for (shortlist.com)
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Jason Statham has now head-butted, auto-electrocuted, incomprehensibly-growled and chest-pounded his way to a billion-dollar career. Not bad for a street hawker from the streets of London (bbc.co.uk)
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Russia threatens to preemptively strike NATO missile defense sites if NATO does not agree to their demands (hosted.ap.org)
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After five years, taxi driver suddenly decides to tell the world's media he remembers taking missing girl in the back of his car (with bonus pic of him pointing to precisely where she sat) (dailystar.co.uk)
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Apparently Newcastle United scored one of the English Premier league's best ever goals last night. I scored one like this once. On the Playstation (shortlist.com)
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Prepare to be slaughtered by an army of robot birds (engadget.com)
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Munch's "The Scream" sells for $119 million. If only there were an apt visual metaphor which expressed the extreme consternation and surprise appropriate for such a sum being offered for a bit of pigment squiggled onto paper (thedailybeast.com)
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Wed May 02, 2012
Tue May 01, 2012
Mon April 30, 2012
Sun April 29, 2012
Sat April 28, 2012
Fri April 27, 2012
Thu April 26, 2012
Wed April 25, 2012
Tue April 24, 2012
Mon April 23, 2012
| (q13) |
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Aside from the seven-month winters, douchebag cyclists, crappy interstate, useless sports teams, liberal politics and water, Seattle is pretty popular (q13fox.com)
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Rudy Giuliani endorses Mitt Romney, increasing his odds of winning the Presidency 9-11% (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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After a month of dodging the press, Romney finally finds some time to field some tough questions...Questions like "Got any fond memories about vacationing in France?" (dailykos.com)
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North Korea threatens to turn Seoul into "ashes in three or four minutes" using "unprecedented peculiar means and methods of our own style" (google.com)
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| (Some Flattened Frog) |
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Sacré bleu: Far-right candidate Marine Le Pen gets 18% of the vote in the first-round of France's presidential election, vows to crush any ultra-liberal opposition with her far-right bootstrappy boots (france24.com)
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Remember Highlights magazine? Here are 5 Depressing Lessons you may have learned from it (cracked.com)
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Economists predict continued sluggish economy. In related news, the South Pole is going to be cold for awhile longer (money.cnn.com)
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What's that Lassie? Timmy's been impaled on an eight-foot fence? And you prefer to be called Spike? (thesun.co.uk)
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Obama's top campaign strategist says that he thinks many Republicans want to work with the president but they are too afraid of House Minority Whip Robespierre and Senate Minority Leader Saint-Just to do so (news.yahoo.com)
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Keith Olberman says the media's coverage of the duelling dog stories about the presidential candidates increases the "absurdity" of this campaign. And if there's one guy who knows "absurd".., (abcnews.go.com)
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Senator Barack Obama railed about President Bush's abuses of power. President Barack Obama has seen the light (outsidethebeltway.com)
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President Obama's closest shadow advisor? The greatest president of the 20th Century (politico.com)
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Sun April 22, 2012
Sat April 21, 2012
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Levon Helm hated The Last Waltz, aka "Martin Scorcese Presents The Robbie Robertson Show, Starring Robbie Robertson with music by Robbie Robertson, a Tyler Perry Production" (slate.com)
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New curbs on voter registration could hurt President Obama, make sense (news.yahoo.com)
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Can young Rory Calhoun McDonald KO Che Mills? Will the Martian Manhunter take down Rashad Evans? It's UFC 145, Prelims begin at 6:30 PM ET on Facebook, 8 PM ET on FX, Main card at 10 PM ET on PPV (withleather.uproxx.com)
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To get your prepped four Arrested Development Season 4, here's video featuring all of Gob's failed magic tricks--ILLUSIONS, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money....or cocaine (huffingtonpost.com)
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Liquid concrete accidentally floods upscale New York hotel. Officials predict that removing it will only get harder and harder (upi.com)
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Student-body president at BYU campus says hanging around all those Mormons has made him a better Muslim. Wait, what? (sltrib.com)
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| (MSNBC) |
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California State university student gets a head start on his career as a politician by stealing 700 voter IDs to win President of Student Government (technolog.msnbc.msn.com)
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Woman "shocked" to find duck-shaped potato in her kitchen. You'll be less shocked when you see photos of how often potatoes turn into ducks, which is pretty much all the goddamn time (dailymail.co.uk)
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Fri April 20, 2012
Thu April 19, 2012
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George Zimmerman wants a private meeting with the parents of Trayvon Martin. Preferably in a dark alley on a cool, rainy day (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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FCC asks Supreme Court to take another look at Janet Jackson's nipple so they can wring CBS (entertainment.msnbc.msn.com)
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"You Can Call Me Al" may sound upbeat, but it's included in the 6 Popular Upbeat Songs You Didn't Realize Are Depressing (cracked.com)
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President Obama is in trouble with young voters, less than half of 18-to-24-year-old voters want Obama to win reelection (theatlantic.com)
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Michelle Obama's claim that poor urban neighborhoods are food deserts, bereft of fresh fruits and vegetables has been found to be pretty much bullshiat by the right wing fascists at the New York Times (nytimes.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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NY Subway cars are bastions of good will, especially for pregnant women. Unless they're Red Sox fans (940winz.com)
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The only thing more crazy than crazy at NRA conventions are the number of Obama assassination jokes -"which is another word for extreme, and in the gun context, possibly insane - interpretation of the Second Amendment" (mediamatters.org)
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President Obama sits on the bus where Rosa Parks refu-OMG, IS HE GOING BALD? (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Sales of Ford's $39,000 Electric Focus have been less than two dozen, or in Chrysler terms, a pretty good year (chicagotribune.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Neither rain nor snow, heat nor darkness can prevent the mail from being delivered, unless the post office is infested with poisonous spiders, in which case you'll have to come pick it up (1035superx.com)
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Finally, someone takes a look at the big mystery surrounding politicians: why, in the past 100 years, was Michele Bachmann the only bearded presidential candidate? (slate.com)
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Right wing in despair as Socialist leads Presidential Race by 14%, France on verge of surrendering Palais d'Elysée to Hollande (independent.co.uk)
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| (Winnipeg Free Press) |
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Winnipeg Free Press tells of the Canadian writer who got a boost in readership and page views per day after his 'awesome' story was picked up by FARK (12th section) (winnipegfreepress.com)
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Blood test could identify depression in teens, samples are easily collected after they finish cutting themselves (vitals.msnbc.msn.com)
|
Wed April 18, 2012
Tue April 17, 2012
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Is predicting crime before it happens: (a) something out of Philip K. Dick's "Minority Report," (b) a DHS research project, (c) a terrible and dangerous idea, (d) all of the above? (theatlantic.com)
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Herman Cain pretty much sums up the Newt Gingrich campaign in the most clear and succinct way possible (dailycaller.com)
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As Europe prepares for the next round of bailouts, officials promise yet again that this time will be different (telegraph.co.uk)
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Crusading hero of the people, Mitch McConnell, scores a win for disenfranchised and oppressed millionaires everywhere (salon.com)
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A new CNN poll shows most Americans think the tax system favors the wealthy. Also they're pretty sure the sky is blue and water is wet (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The wife of the man who threw her out of the car, kidnapped his children, led police on a chase, and is still wanted? She's pregnant. She's also a fugitive (1035superx.com)
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Researchers find evidence that "helicopter parenting" pre-dates the invention of the actual helicopter by nearly 2,000 years (bbc.co.uk)
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New trailer for "Tron: Uprising". Master Control Program unimpressed (insidetv.ew.com)
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How German electro-pop pioneers Kraftwerk predicted the future of the world's technology (huffingtonpost.com)
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Mon April 16, 2012
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North American predator loss leaves Aliens unchecked, Santorum pulls out, and Best Buy CEO bones something other than his company: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/8 - 4/14 (fark.com)
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GOP Representative, who has "little tolerance" for people with student loans, involved in huge student loan scam (salon.com)
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In the case against MegaUpload, the government is denying the accused A. The ability to pay lawyers. B. The right to hire experienced copyright litigators. C. The right to present any evidence in its defense. D. All of the above (arstechnica.com)
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President Obama says something that every man, woman, and child in this nation can agree with, will now win 2012 election by a landslide (freep.com)
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Ann Romney likes the worst birthday presents ever (huffingtonpost.com)
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Romney offering "preferred status" to Inauguration for donors who cough up $50,000. Still unsure where the party tent will be set up to get a good view of Obama's swearing in, though (buzzfeed.com)
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Seven miles of the California coastline to be preserved from development. Public to have unlimited access to all oil spills, sewage leaks, discarded medical waste (sfgate.com)
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The New York Times ran a wedding announcement for two characters from My Little Pony. Subby won't trust the story until he reads it in the Foal Free Press (popwatch.ew.com)
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The fact that global warming is "an unproven theory pushed by tree-huggers" hasn't stopped the five nations bordering the Arctic from preparing their militaries to seize the Northwest Passage the moment it thaws (news.yahoo.com)
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Television coverage of Penguins/Flyers pregame hockey playoff analysis focuses on two new NBC visual aids (deadspin.com)
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Sun April 15, 2012
Sat April 14, 2012
Fri April 13, 2012
Thu April 12, 2012
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Following last night's preliminary skirmishes, tonight it devolves into open warfare. Sens/Rags @ 7:00, Caps/Bruins @ 7:30, Sharks/Blues @ 7:30, and Blackhawks/Coyotes @ 10:30 (EDT). Day 2 Stanley Cup Playoff Discussion Thread (nhl.com)
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Woman steals towel from hotel. And a bedspread. And picture frames, an iron, the ironing board, some rugs, a trash can and the curtains. Oh yeah, and a TV (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com)
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Heartless creep zips six puppies into his suitcase and throws it in the garbage. Fortunately for the puppies, he seems to be about as intelligent as President Skroob when it comes to his luggage (nydailynews.com)
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Vote down jobs bill that benefits women, blame President for female unemployment: it's not just the best of both political worlds, it's the sort of "logic" we'll have to get used to for the next several months (wrcbtv.com)
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Shockingly, actual archaelogists and scholars ain't buying the latest claims from the guy who plays an archaeologist on TV and who previously claimed to have found the bodies of Jesus and his wife and child (abcnews.go.com)
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Meet the Chork: The unholy lovechild of a fork and chopsticks that will prevent WWIII (gizmodo.com)
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"It's pretty cool to have a woman brewing," the brewery's head brewer says. "It's like seeing a black unicorn." Wait... what? (suntimes.com)
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President Obama's second-term agenda is the missing piece in his re-election plan. We could start with.. Where are the Farking Jobs? (news.yahoo.com)
|
Wed April 11, 2012
Tue April 10, 2012
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Pretty soon, it's going to be easier to find common interests between Israel and Palestine than between the congressional Republicans and Democrats (theatlantic.com)
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If you ask George W. Bush what he regrets about his presidency, it isn't the failure to capture or kill Bin Laden, or starting two drawn out wars. No, he regrets his name being attached to some deficit driving tax cuts (money.cnn.com)
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Nebraska Gov. Dave Heinemann: Prenatal care a magnet for illegal immigrants. Researchers: About that (omaha.com)
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If we care about poverty, income mobility, health, education, and welfare, we need to support true marriage. Barack Obama is the most anti-marriage president in our history (townhall.com)
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| (Ballpark Digest) |
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Myrtle Beach Pelicans sign stadium naming-rights deal with Ticketmaster wannabe, proclaiming them "pioneer company that represents the best in American ingenuity" at charging extortionate fees for ordinary products (ballparkdigest.com)
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North American predator loss affects ecosystems, leaves Aliens totally unchecked (sciencedaily.com)
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Wisconsin Republican Gov. Scott Walker signs bill to take DNA from felony arrests pre-conviction and create a DNA database. No word on how this will create jobs and make government smaller (jsonline.com)
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No one ever appreciates pus (mentalfloss.com)
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| (Road Biker Review) |
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Road Biker Review comes to the realization that "pretty soon Arizona is going to need its own FARK tag" (forums.roadbikereview.com)
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Mon April 09, 2012
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An interview with Darwyn Cooke, the man who will make the Watchmen prequels better than the original story (rollingstone.com)
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If you're stupid enough to deliberately stand in the jet wash of a plane, be prepared to be blown away (telegraph.co.uk)
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 |
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The Three Stooges are hosting WWE Monday Night Raw, because that's the best way to follow up the return of Brock Lesnar. Hopefully, Bret Hart will smack Will Sasso around again and tell him to quit pretending to be Curly. 9 PM on USA (examiner.com)
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| (Charlotte Observer) |
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Citing her job, Hillary Clinton will skip the National Democratic Convention. Presumably, she's referring to her job as president in 2016 (charlotteobserver.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Having ended unemployment, now that it is 11%, School systems that are bankrupt, murders, gangs, and corruption. RI decides to attack the Clear and Present Danger. Fido on your lap in the car. Things stay safe for Caturday (www2.turnto10.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Arizona: "You can't have an abortion" Women: "Wat we aren't even pregnant" Arizona: "LOL THINK AGAIN" (rt.com)
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Girl from '16 & Pregnant' is happy to be pregnant with another paycheck despite losing her toddler to CPS (tmz.com)
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Sun April 08, 2012
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Hot chick quits Facebook because "peer pressure". *hands out jars* Come Farkers, let us collect her tears and savor their sweet, savory salty taste (katu.com)
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Senator Kent Conrad: "I asked President Obama not to publicly support Bowles-Simpson because I knew that House Republicans reflexively oppose everything he supports" (huffingtonpost.com)
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Drug-resistant malaria is spreading rapidly. It's enough to make you shiver (bbc.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not news: resident discovers a peeping tom and calls police. News: officers arrive and apprehend suspect. Fark: peeping tom is a deer (news-sentinel.com)
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Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-eally bad grammar), via Twitter: "Constituents askd why i am not outraged at PresO attack on supreme court independence. Bcause Am ppl r not stupid as this x prof of con law" (firstread.msnbc.msn.com)
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Sergio Garcia guarantees Masters win. Just kidding. In post-round press conference, he said "I'm not good enough...The conclusion is I need to play for second or third place. In any major I'm not good enough" (sports.yahoo.com)
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Thanks to an ironclad prenup, Ruben Studdard only has to give his ex-wife $12,000 and a 2006 BMW. Bonus: no alimony, and he gets the engagement ring back (tmz.com)
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For the second year in a row, the Vancouver Canucks take the Presidents trophy. Now that the rules change the reasons why they won't win the cup will be to the right (sports.espn.go.com)
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Can Tottenham close the gap on third? Can Liverpool break out of their downward slide? Can Blackburn keep away from relegation? All this plus United and City both in action for the title race in this week's Premier League thread (bbc.co.uk)
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Does espresso made by a bikini barista get you all hot and frothy? You might want to check for security cameras before you act on that impulse (seattlepi.com)
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Miami is a good place for Ozzie Guillen because he can pretty much say any stupid thing he wants and no one will pay any attention. Unless, of course, he were to speak of his love for Fidel Castro - but even he's not that stupid, right? (chicagotribune.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ten gorgeous vixens pose for foxy photo spread in the great outdoors (probably safe for work) (blog.nwf.org)
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Sat April 07, 2012
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The best precious snowflake art of space you're going to see today (wired.com)
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I don't know what the hell a Phyllis Schlafly is, but she is telling young men "Don't date feminists", even though "some of them are pretty" (newser.com)
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Iraq Veteran's Amazing Job: Nick White served his country, first as a Marine, where he saw heavy combat in Iraq, and then as a Secret Service agent. Now he's kicking ass as an entrepreneur (news.yahoo.com)
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| (web md) |
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CDC finds that sex education is less prevalent in grades 6-12 ... because at that point half the kids are already parents (teens.webmd.com)
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If your previous attempts were foiled, here's how to melt aluminum cans at home (liveleak.com)
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| (PsychCentral) |
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Fast food directly linked to depression. Photoshop a prize for an Unhappy Meal (psychcentral.com)
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I'm sure the poor will definitely appreciate cosmetics instead of food (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
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It doesn't matter whether or not you like RC planes, this is impressive (youtube.com)
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Meth head fuel tanker driver who led cops on 20 mile long, high speed chase, gets sentenced to doing 55. In other news: Apparently you can get a job driving a fuel tanker with 5 previous felony convictions. w/ meth head mugshot goodness (tulsaworld.com)
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Bicyclist who ran down SF pedestrian fails to impress the internet by telling his side of the story (news.yahoo.com)
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Astrophysicists say the Universe is precisely 13.75 billion years old, However, they failed to factor in Daylight Savings Time (news.discovery.com)
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Fri April 06, 2012
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Marine who bashed President Obama given less than honorable discharge, job at Fox News (chicagotribune.com)
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Fired executive with bi-polar disorder wins protection under the ADA, says he's really excited to have set the precedent, plans on starting a national organization for fellow suffers,or not, because that's just too hard (abcnews.go.com)
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Europe's reaction to the Supreme Court fight over Obamacare is: "WTF? Seriously, WTF?" (theatlanticwire.com)
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| (Some Creosote) |
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Tiny new silicon110 GHz phased array transmitter developed. Scienticians say it's wahffer-thin, won't bust budgets or explode under pressure (phys.org)
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| (RI Tag) |
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From the state that brought us "The Prayer Banner" comes "this mural is totally inappropriate because the man and woman standing together 'may not represent the live experience of all students'" (www2.turnto10.com)
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Astronauts from International Space Station take one millionth photo, promising to be different from the previous 999,999 views of earth (foxnews.com)
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Guard donkey protects sheep from predators, delivers a mean punch (courant.com)
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Thu April 05, 2012
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DOJ: Requiring an ID so we know the person voting is who they say they are to prevent fraud is racist, but requiring an ID to enter our building, totally OK (hotair.com)
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| (Some Sad Guy) |
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NBC enhances Zimmerman 911 call: "Coons". CNN enhances Zimmerman 911 call: "Cold". Tune in for the next installment of pre-race war Florida (theblaze.com)
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Terror leader dares the US to come and get him, at a public press conference: "I will be in Lahore tomorrow. America can contact me whenever it wants to," US Special Forces: "Challenge accepted" (news.yahoo.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Threatening the president will get you a $250,000 fine, five years in jail, no bail, a mental exam, and funny lips (thedaleygator.wordpress.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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You thought I was crazy to build an anti-Russia bunker. You thought I was crazy to prepare to fight zombies. Well, who's crazy now? (heraldsun.com.au)
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"I'm not sure what Ann Romney sees when she 'unzips' her husband, but the man who's running for president is a turn-off" (salon.com)
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Newsweek writer wants to impeach the Supreme Court for doing its job as decided in Marbury V Madison. Also wants the wizard to grant him a brain (newsbusters.org)
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Pre-game locker room audio from Saints v 49ers. Before final game, Gregg Williams urged Saints to injure 49ers. This is more than just a pep talk folks. (Not safe for work Language) (youtube.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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President Obama: "Do you really want to know where your tax dollars go? Do you? OK then here you go" (whitehouse.gov)
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Wed April 04, 2012
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Kansas Supreme Court rules repeat dog molester won't have to register as a sex offender (blogs.kansas.com)
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Fox News anchor who tweeted claim that Obama threatened Chelsea Clinton's life over Hillary's birth certificate investigation is sorry and assures us that she respects the legitimacy of "President" Bongfart Insane O'Taxus (mediamatters.org)
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PETA purchases personalized brick at new baseball stadium that contains hidden message. Subby can't believe he's actually impressed by something PETA did (610wiod.com)
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550,000 infections later, Apple decides it's time to pretend to care about security again. Minimisation and Wharrgarble to the right (securitywatch.pcmag.com)
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Presenting 21 people who had no idea that the movie Titanic was based on a real event. And shockingly, none of them are named Palin or Simpson (huffingtonpost.com)
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The players of the Fantasy Supreme Court League are split on which way the justices will rule on Obamacare. In other news, there are people with nothing better to do with their time than play in a Fantasy Supreme Court League (news.yahoo.com)
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ESPN's "experts" again show their obvious East Coast bias with their World Series predictions. A whole 3 out of 49 picked the Yankees, and a whopping 1 picked the Red Sox. For shame, guys (espn.go.com)
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| (Poynter) |
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Obama to reporters convention : That whole "presenting two sides of a story" is fine and well, but sometimes, one side is clearly wrong. So, stop treating it like it's valid (poynter.org)
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Not News: Man breaks into game preserve. News: Cannot get cash so he saws off a Rhino horn. FARK: It was a fiberglass Rhino head (telegraph.co.uk)
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| (The Smithsonian) |
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So yeah, we're pretty much boned (smithsonianmag.com)
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President Obama instructs the press how to properly cover his policies. Because they were so biased before, you know (realclearpolitics.com)
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It is not even pre-season yet, and the Detroit Lions are imploding. Did I say imploding? I meant inhaling (freep.com)
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Because we've all been waiting with eager anticipation. Sarah Palin finally announces her pick for the GOP vice-presidential candidate (politico.com)
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Moderate president says former moderate president wouldn't fit in with the current far-from-moderates (csmonitor.com)
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Federal Appeals Court orders the Obama Administration to have the Constitutional Law Professor President give the judges a teaching moment to explain why 200+ years of precedent is wrong (cbsnews.com)
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Ryan Gosling just saved a woman's life, presumably while playing piano, searing a perfect piece of tuna, and without moving a single hair out of its perfect place (jezebel.com)
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Tue April 03, 2012
Mon April 02, 2012
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Can a presidential campaign make news if no one's there to cover it? Let's ask Newt Gingrich...um, hold on, does anyone know where he is? (slate.com)
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The Red Band trailer for Ted is pretty damn funny (aintitcool.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Mikey was a runner, Molly was a jumper, and he and his friends used to watch her. They took a little trip, he pretended not to zip, and that's how the diamond left the locker (siouxcityjournal.com)
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Romneybot3000 prepares to load betterhalf.exe which adds a better GUI and more lifelike animations (politico.com)
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Supreme Court rules that everyone can get strip searched because 9/11 (usnews.msnbc.msn.com)
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| (Some Responsible Adult) |
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School bus driver gets 2 DUIs in 17 hours, eats thirty sack lunches, threatens to turn bus around, end precious field trip (wtae.com)
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French presidential candidate whose ideas include a 100% tax on all income above €360,000 receiving surprising levels of support. Meanwhile in America, debate continues over whether it's possible to raise taxes on people with no money (independent.co.uk)
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Sun April 01, 2012
Sat March 31, 2012
Fri March 30, 2012
Thu March 29, 2012
Wed March 28, 2012
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Rock guitarist applies for trademark to fill niche for "Justice For Trayvon" hoodies. With Jimi-Hendrix-wannabe album cover pic of the entrepreneur (thesmokinggun.com)
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| (Slanch Report) |
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Jose Canseco preaches the good word about global warming and the plight of polar bears. Oh yeah, and apparently he thinks Al Gore is dead (slanchreport.com)
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Atheist orders custom Capitol One card with a red "A" on it. It's rejected, since they don't allow "religious imagery." Except, of course, for any of the pre-approved Jesus images available in their online gallery (consumerist.com)
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News Corp. shopping an all-sports network to rival ESPN. No word yet on how they plan to present stats and scores in such a way so that it always looks like the team they like is the one that's winning (deadline.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The mainstream press is really doing a number on this Trayvon Martin thing, but I'll bet that the bastions of journalistic integrity at big state school newspapers are... oh my (blogs.houstonpress.com)
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Megadeth's Dave Mustaine confirms he "knows" President Obama wasn't born in America and Rick Santorum could be a "really cool president, kinda like a JFK-type guy" (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Supreme Court rules that the Federal government can tell the world about your HIV status if it wants to (fox8.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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If Obamacare is struck down in its entirety by the Supreme Court, it could mean the end of unemployment benefits and the Civil Rights Act, and all beer will now be Heineken (hereandnow.wbur.org)
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Russian President Dmitry Medvedev says the GOP should check their clocks from time to time, "it's 2012, not the mid-1970s" (thinkprogress.org)
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Man undergoes full facial transplant. Nicholas Cage, John Travolta reportedly unimpressed. (pics) (io9.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Some pretty creative Mad Men poster graffiti (huffingtonpost.co.uk)
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Tue March 27, 2012
Mon March 26, 2012
Sun March 25, 2012
Sat March 24, 2012
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I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but I drove him to a burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke (blogs.scientificamerican.com)
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Barack Obama meets Hawaiian women on the rope line while campaigning, asks to see her birth certificate. Barack Obama, president, statesmen, King of the Trolls (rawstory.com)
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Not news: Kid has food allergy. News: Will kill him if he even smells it. Fark: He's allergic to pretty much ALL food (shine.yahoo.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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While the motorsport press was worried how Danca Patrick's latest crash will effect her latest GoDaddy advert they failed to notice that 18yo Elena Myers became the first woman to win a race at Daytona. On a motorbike. Why yes, she is hot (bikesportnews.com)
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Strip club industry prepares once again for customers needing to find a slot to deposit a $1 coin (foxnews.com)
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| (Some Tacos) |
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"The U.S. government is single-handedly preventing you from ordering a taco and having it delivered to you by a totally sweet pilot-less helicopter" (marginalrevolution.com)
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| (Daily Yomiuri) |
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Nearly bankrupt municipality of Izumi-Sano, Osaka Prefecture, plans to lease naming rights for city, city slogan, city hall, and public roads to interested applicants. Farkers see vacation to Izumi-Sano Boston Garden in their future (yomiuri.co.jp)
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The Weekly Standard notes that Obama used the same metaphor to praise three different allies. Obviously this makes Ernest Hemingway retroactively president, and Obama has to take remedial Creative Writing at community college in Kenya (weeklystandard.com)
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Previously unpublished Kurt Vonnegut novella to be released exclusively on the Amazon Kindle. So it goes (theatlanticwire.com)
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Fri March 23, 2012
Thu March 22, 2012
Wed March 21, 2012
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Romney: Bush saved U.S. from another Great Depression, Godzilla (rawstory.com)
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In a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court affirms that your constitutional right to a lawyer actually guarantees you someone vaguely competent at their job, and not some random idiot who barely passed the Bar Exam (huffingtonpost.com)
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Teenagers are learning how to iron, sew and make the bed as part of a school curriculum designed to turn boys into "men". Pretty men with soft hands and delicate smiles that we know get all the girls (news.com.au)
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"Newt gave the etch-a-sketch to a kid in the front row and said, 'You can now be a presidential candidate.'" (dailykos.com)
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While only giving your children bottled water may prevent Obama from controlling their minds through the neuro-socialist transmitters contained within fluoride, it can also make them more susceptible to cavities. Ah, well, life's a balance (vitals.msnbc.msn.com)
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Goldman's sudden -- and prescient -- shift to reducing subprime risk supports the inference that it possessed some unique insight (reuters.com)
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Idaho lawmaker sponsoring anti-abortion bill can't figure out why everyone's so upset by his suggestion that doctors should call bullshiat on women claiming their pregnancy was caused by rape (boston.com)
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President Obama has no plans to mark the two-year anniversary of Obamacare this Friday. Wonder why he'd ignore a chance to celebrate such a momentous, historic event? (thehill.com)
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| (Some Caveman) |
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Kirk Cameron's board game: "True or False? Prehistoric man may have sometimes lived in caves." "False. [...] Since the first man is mentioned in the Bible's historical record, there has never been a prehistoric man" (ncse.com)
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The Supreme Court is about to decide on whether a man can go to prison for insulting Dick Cheney (npr.org)
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The Debt has increased more under Obama than under Bush. And if you stop reading right there, you'll have a pretty good fw:fw:fw:fw email from your nutty uncle (crooksandliars.com)
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Watch a blond try to reason through how long it will take to travel 80 miles while driving at a rate of 80 mph. Difficulty: involve running time, vehicle weight, tire pressure and "whacking it in half" (youtube.com)
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Son of former House of Representatives gets 14 year old drunk, rapes her, has a friend video tape the event, drops her off in the lawn, and walks away with a midemeanor charge two months later. For some reason people have a problem with this (dailykos.com)
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Tue March 20, 2012
Mon March 19, 2012
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Idiot leaves his $40,000 cello in unlocked car with predictable results (startribune.com)
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"Yes, Mr. President, that makes a lot of sense. Your regulations and unconstitutional executive orders have caused the price of gas to skyrocket. So, you do control gas prices. Want examples? I'll give you five" (townhall.com)
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In unprecedented act of alcohol abuse, man beats wife with six pack (courant.com)
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If you've been killing people in video games since you were 2 it will help prepare you for the cutthroat world of Corporate America (kansas.com)
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Tennessee GOP lawmakers say that women who get abortions should have their age, race, county, marital status, education, # of children, and # of pregnancies made public. Presumably for economic growth and jobs (huffingtonpost.com)
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Drug resistant "white plague" spreading. Victims reportedly develop fevers, and urges to listen to Pat Boone, wear socks with sandals, argue about the designated hitter rule (msnbc.msn.com)
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Richard Gere regrets Pretty Woman because it glorifies bankers. Hookers are cool though (dailymail.co.uk)
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Peacetime martial law now OK. Which guy was going to suspend elections for an indefinite presidency again? Hope, Change, etc (huffingtonpost.com)
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ObamaCare saved nearly 4-million seniors $2.16-billion in prescription medication costs last year. Praise be to Socialism (yourlife.usatoday.com)
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Sen. Marco Rubio's (R-FL) memoir, "An American Son," will now be published on June 19 instead of in October, as previously planned. Why ever would he do such a thing? (politico.com)
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Three new videos released for Prometheus, the movie Charlize Theron says is "the prequel to Thelma and Louise" (gammasquad.uproxx.com)
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Jimmy Fallon does 12 comedy impressions in 2 minutes. Amazingly dead on (wimp.com)
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You've been dying to know, so here's what's happened to all the original "21 Jump Street" cast members. Oh, you haven't been curious at all? Well, here it is, anyway, just pretend to be interested (usatoday.com)
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John McCain says Republicans need to "get off" the issue of birth control and "respect the right of women to make choices." If only this guy would run for President, or something (huffingtonpost.com)
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Who was the most fiscally conservative president in the last 30 years? Hint: It's not any of the ones who talked the most about fiscal responsibility (theatlantic.com)
|
Sun March 18, 2012
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Meanwhile on the Bizarroternet: Girls pretending to be boys to pick up underage girls. "...he was the very image of her teen idol, Justin Bieber" (dailymail.co.uk)
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When it comes to comic books, what's the preferred medium, digital or print? One graphic novelist has finally realized digital is actually as good as, if not better, than print (press-citizen.com)
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Lutheran pastor elected to German presidency, describes himself as a "liberal left conservative." Yeah, and Subby is a Blue Dog Log Cabin Distributist (bbc.co.uk)
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I bet we'll see this on Fark. COME ON, I HAVE TO MAKE THE SPREAD (sciencedaily.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Very impressive new GIF format. You haven't seen anything like this before (cinemagraphs.com)
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Cubs lose their sixth game in a row and it's only the pre-season. BOOK IT DONE (chicagotribune.com)
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Did Leprechauns start off scary or cute? And really, aren't they just downright terrifying, whether they're killing Jennifer Aniston or shilling marshmallow cereal? (slate.com)
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Sat March 17, 2012
Fri March 16, 2012
Thu March 15, 2012
Wed March 14, 2012
Tue March 13, 2012
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Stop me if you've heard this one before: Bi-partisan bill promising economic growth aims to roll back depression-era regulatory safeguards and disclosure requirements (bloomberg.com)
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"Websites such as the indispensable Drudge Report, Times 24/7, Real Clear Politics, Digg, Fark and Reddit collect news from sources spread across the Web." Wait... are we indispensable now? (4th paragraph) (webpronews.com)
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One Farker's mashup of The Walking Dead and Office Space "has been deemed the preferred choice of the internet," according to Uproxx (not-safe-for-work) (uproxx.com)
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Midwest facing epidemic of exploding prebacon (arstechnica.com)
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Spiffy: President Obama is taking British Prime Minister David Cameron to experience an NCAA March Madness game. Sad: Western Kentucky vs. Mississippi Valley State (cnn.com)
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Republicans upset Obama is destroying Iran's economy. Presumably because they'd rather he sell them weapons (guardian.co.uk)
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Revealed: what Dennis Kucinich whispered to President Bush, just before the 2007 State of the Union. And no, it wasn't "You may be President, but I get to tap THAT every night" (news.yahoo.com)
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Sarah Palin's deliberate ignorance did more than scuttle John McCain's presidential hopes -- it destroyed American politics, too (washingtonpost.com)
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When it comes to student loan debt, today's high school and college students are more screwed than pretty much any other college graduate (salon.com)
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Mon March 12, 2012
Sun March 11, 2012
Sat March 10, 2012
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In coach, passengers are reduced to scrounging stale peanuts and tiny pretzels out of the seat cushion, while up front, racks of lamb, fine wines, and exquisite desserts are standard fare. Here comes the science of how they do it (nytimes.com)
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When Netanyahu gave Obama the Book of Esther as a gift, the message was only slightly less subtle than if he had constructed a massive neon billboard with the message "Mr. President, please help me destroy Iran before they destroy us" (csmonitor.com)
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Illegal immigrant runs for president. This is not a repeat from 2008 (nytimes.com)
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Twenty-six instances where the book was better than the movie. Watchmen isn't on the list, presumably because the movie was just as good as the book (ew.com)
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The Texas Rangers will no longer play the video of Nolan Ryan pummeling Robin Ventura on the Jumbotron. In other news, the Rangers have been playing the video of team president Nolan Ryan pummeling Robin Ventura for the past 20 years. LGT video (youtube.com)
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Republican party finally sees the error of their ways and quietly lets the war against women drop... JUST KIDDING, a Georgia State Representative compares pregnant women to cattle and pigs (rawstory.com)
|
Fri March 09, 2012
Thu March 08, 2012
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The Derrick Bell smear campaign begins. Did you know that this man wanted to eradicate white supremacy? What a monster (wnd.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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President Bartlet endorses President Obama (huffingtonpost.ca)
|
| (Red State) |
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$3.4 billion annually in tax preferences to "Big Oil": A horrible drain on the federal treasury that should be investigated. $24 billion IN ONE YEAR to "Green Industries": Nothing to see here, Mr. Taxpayer (redstate.com)
|
| (Pajiba) |
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Yeah, pretty much: 10 Actors We Wish Were More Talented Than They Are (pajiba.com)
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Ron Paul's presidential campaign is the "Snakes on a Plane" of politics (news.yahoo.com)
|
| (Smithsonian) |
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Top pics from the 9th annual Smithsonian photo contest. (Prepare for slideshow rage) (smithsonianmag.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Remember when Snow Crash predicted hotels made of shipping containers? This brings the score to Neal Stephenson: ∞, Every other futurist: 0 (ecomagination.com)
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Chunky reality TV star finds out she's pregnant during all-day drinking binge. Difficulty - not Snooki (hollyscoop.com)
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Fox reporter pretty much sums up the feeling of the 2012 GOP field (entertainment.msnbc.msn.com)
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Pregnant Snooki learns three new words: Fetal alcohol syndrome (dailymail.co.uk)
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New study shows that marriage can keep your heart healthier after surgery. Unless, you know, it's the marriage that put you there in the first place. Then you're pretty much screwed (yourlife.usatoday.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Louis CK made some inappropriate tweets about Sarah Palin, so that means Rush Limbaugh is automatically President and everyone gets a free "Just Because" bouquet from Pro Flowers.com (the950.com)
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Not surprising: "Game Change," HBO's new movie about Sarah Palin's run as vice president, is excellent. Surprising: And it might make you even feel a little sorry for Sarah Palin, too (washingtonpost.com)
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Florida finally does something about a huge problem plaguing society. No, not prescription drug abuse. Imprisoned pregnant women in labor making a break for it (mysuncoast.com)
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Wed March 07, 2012
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Topher Grace edited the 'Star Wars' prequels into one 85-Minute movie and it is probably the best possible edit of the prequels given the footage released and available (slashfilm.com)
|
| (The Blemish) |
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Vagina bedazzler and preemptive wedding ring picker Jennifer Love Hewitt isn't sure why men don't hit on her (theblemish.com)
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Pre-kids: My snowflakes will have no TV, no fast food, no disposable diapers, and no temper tantrums unlike YOUR unruly kids. Post-kids: LOL J/K (huffingtonpost.com)
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Truck in Guinea plunges into ravine, killing fifty passengers, injuring another twenty seven and impressing the hell out of faculty at Clown Car University (aljazeera.com)
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CNN goes out on a limb, predicting Obama-Romney contest this fall (cnn.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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The Wisconsin Senator who wants to make single parenting illegal wishes to clarify his stance. He is only doing it because women are "trained to lie about planned pregnancies" and need to be held accountable (rightwingwatch.org)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Latest cover of Elle magazine features a nude pregnant Jessica Simpson. In related news, airbrushing supplies are on backorder due to nationwide shortage (todayentertainment.today.msnbc.msn.com)
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Les étrangers prennent nos jorbs (cbsnews.com)
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I prefer extortion. The "X" makes it sound cool (forbes.com)
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Super Tuesday decided exactly nothing in the GOP presidential race. This is my shocked face, o_O (politico.com)
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Imagine a country where there's: No Obamacare, No income tax, A complete free market, No Unions, No Govt involved in Business, Health Care, Labor matters or pretty much anything else except national security. Here's the Tea Party Heaven (democraticunderground.com)
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If Fark had thumbnail previews this would be an easy greenlight, unfortunately (gawker.com)
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Something called a Kreayshawn has revealed that it is bisexual. Presumably in order to help inform you about said Kreayshawn (starpulse.com)
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If you are a rapper or famous athlete, Bentley has got the SUV for you. If you are pretty much anyone else, get your barf bag ready (wired.com)
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Microsoft TechFest reveals holographic mirror, predator shoulder mount, virtual lamp (w/vids) (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
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Tue March 06, 2012
| |
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"Melvin Webb, 54, told Reading Crown Court he was not pleasuring himself in front of a female commuter, merely playing a pretend banjo" (dailymail.co.uk)
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North Carolina GOP spends over $650k for redistricting, four times previous round. Voter disenfranchisement must be expensive these days (wral.com)
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Fair and Balanced Fox News in 2008, making sure Americans understand the president has no control over gas prices, United States oil production makes little difference, and we should be promoting mass transit (youtube.com)
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Gee, wasn't privacy guaranteed by the Supreme Court? Hmmm, maybe not (redtape.msnbc.msn.com)
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Subby never thought he would see the phrase "steps to prevent battery ingestion" but dammit, there it is (omaha.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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12 extremely depressing facts about popular music. Number 12 should be number 1 (eatliver.com)
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Elizabeth Berkley is so excited to announce that she is pregnant. So I guess she stopped taking her pills (tmz.com)
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Mon March 05, 2012
Sun March 04, 2012
Sat March 03, 2012
Fri March 02, 2012
| |
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President Obama calls up Sandra Fluke, the woman whom Rush Limbaugh maligned, telling her that she should and her parents "should be proud" (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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For $86,500, you can buy a one bedroom house that will be missing two screws, take forever to build with incomprehensible instructions, and fall apart after one year (newsfeed.time.com)
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16 and Pregnant "star" arrested for stealing pregnancy test. FARK: and using it before she left the store (tmz.com)
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Ghost of Andrew Breitbart to release the tapes of Obama's college years in the next 10 days, offering definitive proof the President was once a young, stupid college kid (hotair.com)
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Bold 1995 prediction of Dow hitting 116,200 by 2040 is actually still on track to being correct (marketwatch.com)
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10 computer screensavers from the 90s which you thought impressed your co-workers (mentalfloss.com)
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High school valedictorian receives early graduation present from state of Florida .... deportation (local10.com)
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Presenting the love children of ZZ Top, The Beards. Bonus: includes sex and nudity (Not safe for work) (youtube.com)
|
| (Some Not Worried Guy) |
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Surprising everyone who lives there, everyone who's passed through & pretty much anyone who's ever heard of it, Cincinnati, OH is considered a 'hotspot of terrorism' (wcpo.com)
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NEWS: GOP former Louisiana governor ponders presidential run as independent -- FARK: It's Obama's fault (wnd.com)
|
Thu March 01, 2012
Wed February 29, 2012
Tue February 28, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
|
Birther: "I'm not racist or anything, but Obama can't be president because he's black" (care2.com)
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| |
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The bears know kung-fu, I REPEAT, the bears know kung-fu. Prepare battlestations (youtube.com)
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 |
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Just when you've come to grips with rising gas prices, prepare yourself for water tripling in price (clickorlando.com)
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E.T. 2: Nocturnal Fears actually looked like a pretty cool idea, if you ask me (cracked.com)
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Paramount Pictures is suing to stop the publication of a Godfather prequel novel, claiming they want to protect the integrity and reputation of the franchise. Obviously, they forgot that they made Godfather 3 (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Remember the Cigarette Smoking man from X-Files? Turns out he is also pretty badass water skier (geekosystem.com)
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First new SNES game since 1998 now available for pre-order, Subby's already bought his and he doesn't even know where his SNES is (shortlist.com)
|
| (Some Happy Guy) |
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Study finds optimism is the greatest predictor of entrepreneurial success because it allows the brain to perceive more possibilities, which is why everyone on the Top 100 Submitters list has lives filled with rainbows and sunshine (inc.com)
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Jimmy Kimmel presents 'Movie:The Movie' So much win (youtube.com)
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Well, let's say this Penguin represents the normal size of penguins in the current era. Based on this fossil, the penguin would be... four point two feet tall, weighing approximately twenty-six pounds (msnbc.msn.com)
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| (TED) |
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Danny Hillis predicts Facebook in 1994 (ted.com)
|
| (Some Omicronian) |
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Single female lawyer who pretended her entire career to be a doctor is suspended for two whole years from wearing sexy miniskirts and being self-reliant (newburyportnews.com)
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"Hello jet engine on a truck. My name is Juan Pablo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die" (washingtonpost.com)
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George Lucas doesn't approve every single piece of Star Wars merchandise; here are some rejected ideas that would actually be pretty cool. Who wouldn't want an inflatable replica of Emperor's throne? (io9.com)
|
Mon February 27, 2012
| |
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Three economists predict gloomy apocalyptic economic future...sadly, without Mel Gibson driving the last of the V8 Interceptors (usatoday.com)
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Imagine Helm's Deep at the end, breached and about to be overrun by orcs, and you've got a pretty good idea of what the GOP now looks like. Except, this time, Gandalf ain't gonna show (cnn.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not news: Former TV news presenter files whistleblower lawsuit against TV station. Florida: Over the studio being dirty (news-press.com)
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Vatican asks to borrow 1,500 year old copy of the Bible in which Jesus predicts the coming of Muhammed in order to burn it...STUDY, I meant to study it. Yeah, that's the ticket (dailymail.co.uk)
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The complete list of Oscar wins by film. No word on when Republicans will express outrage for statues going to Iranian and French films (deadline.com)
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There's a new trend sweeping the nation: Little free libraries. Though you've probably never seen one. That's too bad, because they seem pretty cool. Keep looking, but they'll probably be old news by the time you find one (usatoday.com)
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Man on trial for hiring an undercover cop to attack a judge wears his prison uniform in court, is belligerent with the judge, and talks freely about wanting to see the judge writhe in pain. Why yes, he is representing himself (oregonlive.com)
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It's so rewarding when those downtown city security cameras actually work and the right person is apprehended (liveleak.com)
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Arizona Governor Jan Brewer gives the finger to President Obama's White House dinner invitation (azcentral.com)
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Sun February 26, 2012
Sat February 25, 2012
Fri February 24, 2012
Thu February 23, 2012
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Meat Loaf wants you to know two things: he prefers being called Meat, not Mr. Loaf; and he has had several paranormal encounters in his lifetime (spinner.com)
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Woman with brass ovaries captures rapist running from the scene by pretending to help him get away (fox4kc.com)
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Pittsburgh Pirates president facing four counts of DUI. If you were running the Pirates you'd drink too (espn.go.com)
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After reporting a $2.4 billion fourth-quarter loss, Sears Holdings announces plans to again rearrange the metaphorical Titanic deck chairs, says it will sell off its hardware outlets and preexisting stores in malls nationwide (latimes.com)
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President Obama steps out of his Magical Time Machine for a speech on immigration: "I've got another five years coming up. We're going to get this done" (content.usatoday.com)
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US rice farmer livid that after we destroyed their country, Iraqis won't buy our product at a premium price (philly.com)
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DEFCON presenter walks through a presentation on why to not buy stolen computer goods, with some epic pwnage of "a man so incompetent that he misspells his own name on Facebook" (youtube.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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U.S. Defense Intelligence Agency director: China is preparing for space warfare and they've copied the plans for a Death Star from a Lego kit (freebeacon.com)
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| (Some Table-Turner) |
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Gay judge announces she won't perform straight marriages until everyone, regardless of gender preference, is allowed to marry (nbcdfw.com)
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Scientists reveal list of foods that are essentially useless, including pretty much everything you've eaten in the last decade (3news.co.nz)
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Marco Rubio: "Yo soy un Mormon, y quiero ser Vice Presidente" (tampabay.com)
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Good Idea: Citing existing scientific evidence to back up your claims about contraceptives and pregnancy rates. Bad idea: Citing a racist loon to back up your claims about contraceptives and pregnancy rates. The End (thinkprogress.org)
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| (Some Guy) |
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You don't have to like her, but Ann Coulter pretty much called BS on all the other GOP commentators that Romney is the "establishment choice". You hear that Rush, Hannity? She called you the establishment...and hypocrites (anncoulter.com)
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Today Forbes takes a pretty good argument for gun rights and promptly empties the magazine into the void between correlation and causation (forbes.com)
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One truth emerged from the 20th Republican blatherfest: Gingrich has pretty much thrown in the towel. Stick a fork in him, folks (thedailybeast.com)
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Buddy Roemer quits GOP presidential race. In case you are wondering who he is, he's the former Louisiana governor, who lost a primary to David Duke back in 1991 (cbsnews.com)
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Wed February 22, 2012
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Former DNC chair to buy the two most prestigious and influential newspapers in a critical swing-state with funds provided by Democratic donors. Of course the newspapers will remain legit and non-parti..Ok I couldn't not laugh (washingtontimes.com)
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Want season club seats in the new 49ers stadium? Prepare to cough up between $20,000 - $80,000 for a seat license. Hopefully you won't want a pair of seats (sacbee.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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THIS DAY IN HISTORY: On February 22, 1819, Spain prevented Ohio from getting its own tag by selling Florida to the United States (theepochtimes.com)
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Georgia Dems propose vasectomy ban in response to anti-abortion bill. Republican men look prepared to start a "My vas deferens, my choice" movement (huffingtonpost.com)
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Continuing his war on women, Rick Santorum claims that prenatal testing is just a liberal mindtrick to get women to abort as many babies as they possibly can (nbcpolitics.msnbc.msn.com)
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President Obama once again caught on camera checking out an attractive woman (buzzfeed.com)
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Sales of pre-existing homes rise all the way to 2010 levels (washingtonpost.com)
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The Supreme Court is hearing arguments on the constitutionality of the Stolen Valor act, which makes it a crime to falsely claim military service. Subby should be given a greenlight in honor of his service in Vietnam, Iraq, and the Eugenics War (news.yahoo.com)
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Science has already proven the dangers of smoking, alcohol, and Chinese food, but it can still ruin soft drinks for pregnant women. Not to mention coffee, tea and chocolate (sciencedaily.com)
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With all other crime taken care of, Rio de Janeiro takes aim at Carnival urinators. Fark: The first part of that sentence is actually close to being pretty accurate (news.yahoo.com)
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Actor sneaked cocaine into the White House Correspondent's Dinner, so Obama's a junkie and Sarah Palin is automatically president. Fark: Source is not Fox News (tampabay.com)
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Columnist asks "are the Republicans running on a platform of keeping women barefoot and pregnant?" Also wonders if bears crap in the woods, if the Pope is Catholic (seattlepi.com)
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Ford increases pay for directors 25% WARNING LOW OIL PRESSURE (bloomberg.com)
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Professional liar...um...White House press secretary, says that Obama did not turn down the Keystone Pipeline. It was reverse vampires (realclearpolitics.com)
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City sued for not approving a new IHOP. They take their pancakes pretty damn seriously down south (wrcbtv.com)
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Supreme Court decides limit of men's pickup lines in bars (npr.org)
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| (kabc) |
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While celebrating the 50th anniversary of John Glenn's space flight, NASA admits they weren't sure where he would come down or if he would survive ... pretty much like flying Delta (kabc.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop Theme: Fark Vegas World Party 2012 predictions (pledgebank.com)
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Canadian writer weighs the possibility of a brokered GOP convention, then nails precisely why it won't be (news.yahoo.com)
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Tue February 21, 2012
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Will Detroit bring their magic home win streak fairy on the road? Will Lundqvist's manish good looks prevent a Staal in Pittsburgh? Will Edmonton or Calgary figure out who's the better Canadian? It's your Tuesday night hockey thread (nhl.com)
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"Mummified man was heavy drinker" - presumably of formaldehyde (bbc.co.uk)
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Republican strategist Frank Luntz suggests running over the president would be funny (dailykos.com)
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Climate scientist lied to obtain Heartland documents, so global warming is false and Sarah Palin is automatically President (boingboing.net)
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We've got lots of Louisiana transplants here in Texas, so Fat Tuesday is a pretty big deal. How are you celebrating Fat Tuesday? (fark.com)
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Iran threatens pre-emptive strike if tensions do not ease. What sort of savage, barbaric, war-mongering super villain would attack another country pre-emptively? We really need to ... oh, wait (msnbc.msn.com)
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| (Patch) |
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Odd presidential trivia leaves one wondering which makes a president greater: being a licensed bartender, or swimming naked in the Potomac? (plainfield.patch.com)
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Apparently former VP Dan Qualye has taken a new gig at the White House press office (nydailynews.com)
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Photoshop theme: Drew is going to mentor entrepreneurs and help startup companies. Photoshop some of the ideas he'll be pitched. LGT article (kentucky.com)
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Why is quantum theory so misunderstood? Brian Cox stands majestically upon a mountain top to pre-troll the trolls, and explain why (blogs.wsj.com)
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Newt Gingrich proclaims Barack Obama is "the most dangerous president in American history." Jefferson Davis weeps (politics.blogs.foxnews.com)
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"Happy Birthday, Mr. President" ... Love, Courtney Stodden (thesuperficial.com)
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President Gingrich will bring us $2 per gallon gas. Book it. Done (boston.com)
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In the American healthcare system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the TV shows which write plots about diseases, and the viewers who diagnose themselves from them. These are their stories (salon.com)
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Mon February 20, 2012
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How they made the greatest Simpsons episode of all-time, "Homer At The Bat," which premiered 20 years ago tonight (deadspin.com)
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Indiana Republican warns that the Girl Scouts are "radicalized" as proven by the fact that Michelle Obama is their honorary President (chicagotribune.com)
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| (Greater Fails) |
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Jimmy John's sub shop gets Yellow Page listing in Kosher section--which comes as a bit of a surprise to its owner, who's busy prepping a couple of Ultimate Porkers and a JJBLT (greaterfalls.com)
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International Space Station to become much more polite, cleanly. Station spatiale internationale à devenir beaucoup plus polis, proprement (bbc.co.uk)
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Media: Income inequality is soaring and hitting new highs. Facts: Inequality peaked in 2000 and has been decreasing ever since, with the greatest decrease when Bush was president and the GOP controlled both houses (newsbusters.org)
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Celebrate President's Day the way Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln would have... with whiskey (foxnews.com)
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Four pending 'Barefoot and Pregnant' laws, from abolishing the Hippocratic Oath to just making getting an abortion felony worth 10 years in prison (alternet.org)
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CNN contributor defends Virginia's bill requiring women to receive an ultrasound before an abortion claiming that they "had no problem having a similar procedure when they engaged in the act that resulted in the pregnancy" (thinkprogress.org)
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Gallup poll finds that picking the two best Presidents of the past four decades is about the same as picking the two greatest players in the history of the Charlotte Bobcats (content.usatoday.com)
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10 things you didn't know about the president's secret army, like that he even had one, and that they can reconstruct burned documents (mentalfloss.com)
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| (A Theater Near You) |
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Richard is a white supremacist down on his luck. Robert is a black inner-city gang member just looking to make it big. But this February, these enemies are about to learn some wacky new lessons about meth-cooking... and friendship (newstribune.com)
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Inventor of e-mail honored by Smithsonian. Was given special presentation at gala luncheon featuring seafood, poultry, Spam (washingtonpost.com)
|
Sun February 19, 2012
Sat February 18, 2012
Fri February 17, 2012
Thu February 16, 2012
Wed February 15, 2012
Tue February 14, 2012
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It's time to lay off the booze when your own nine-year-old daughter has to leap from the car you're driving expressly for the purpose of calling the cops on you (helenair.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Food police reject preschooler's homemade lunch, says she must eat cafeteria nuggets (myfox8.com)
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Man rejects girlfriend's noodles, says toodles by leaving her in poodle of blood. Oodles of boodle will not prevent the doodle he'll be given in court (wpxi.com)
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While liberals love him and wish they had him in office, when you get right down to it, Jed Bartlet was not a very good liberal president (thinkprogress.org)
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A billion here, a billion there and pretty soon we're talking about real money (wrcbtv.com)
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NASA budget slashes Mars funding, leaving future exploration prospects up to a duck with a speech impediment and a predilection for high-powered weaponry (bbc.co.uk)
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Apparently, it's good for democracy that billionaires can buy the president with a few million dollar super PAC contributions (slate.com)
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"Sarah Palin Is The Most Powerful Female Politician In The World" Pretty loose definition of powerful you got there (news.yahoo.com)
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Jen Aniston and Paul Rudd got all sexy in a GQ photo spread that is suppose to lure you to check out their hippie flick 'Wanderlust' ... we're in. (pics, trailer) (bittenandbound.com)
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Susan G. Komen founder Nancy Brinker billed the foundation $133,507 in expenses while she was working full-time for President Bush. So send more money. You know, for breast cancer (thedailybeast.com)
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TMZ Presents: Death Tub: The tub that kills pop divas. I presume this is a sequel to the 1977 film "Death Bed: The Bed That Eats" (tmz.com)
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Airline almost nobody even remembers, and nobody misses, prepares to return from the dead (boston.com)
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Mon February 13, 2012
Sun February 12, 2012
Sat February 11, 2012
Fri February 10, 2012
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11-year-old girl designs video game, earns trip to the White House (with impressive video) (telegram.com)
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| (NBC Chicago) |
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Cop pulls gun on woman for taking too many items through the self-check out at WalMart, because 9 months pregnant or not, rules are rules (nbcchicago.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Farker spidermann named a video game and gets his own press release. Suggest better game names to the right (futurlab.co.uk)
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Suffering from iPad envy? Well, Apple is prepping a 7" version that will be a cheap knock-off and inferior to the wonderful Kindle Fire (chicagotribune.com)
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Rick Santorum believes that women should not be in combat because combat is stressful and they might, like, get all hysterical and emotional and maybe break a nail or something. Also, it's hard to get them pregnant in body armor (washingtonpost.com)
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Falkland Islands newspaper editor calls Argentine President Cristina Fernández de Kirchner a biatch. With picture showing what the real issue might be (guardian.co.uk)
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List of Germany's best actors, past and present. Wait until Hitler hears about this (thelocal.de)
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Kris Jenner promotes new female sex aid, leaving Bruce with bewildered frozen expression (dailymail.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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National Geographic misrepresented 'Doomsday Prepper' Megan Hurwitt. Producer even offered her $1,000 to shoot her cat on camera (freethoughtblogs.com)
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The good news is girls are no longer dumber than boys when it comes to math and science. The bad news: Both sexes are pretty dumb when it comes to math and science (desmoinesregister.com)
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Dear policy holder: Our computers have detected your car moving at an actuarially imprudent speed. Your credit card has been billed for the resulting insurance premium increase (bbc.co.uk)
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Those keen football fans Kermit and Miss Piggy give their opinion on this weekend's English Premier League action (bbc.co.uk)
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Thu February 09, 2012
Wed February 08, 2012
Tue February 07, 2012
Mon February 06, 2012
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|
Good News: Researchers invent vaccines to prevent heroin, cocaine, and meth addiction. Bad News: It's in Mexico (latino.foxnews.com)
|
| (411Mania) |
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Latest ABCNews poll has President Obama leading Mitt Romney 51-45%, and by more than 2 to 1, voters say that the more they learn about Romney, the less they like him. This is bad news...for Obama (411mania.com)
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Having seen the successes of the past decade, 49% of Americans support bombing Iran to prevent them from gaining nukes (thehill.com)
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Daredevil, who obviously has a death wish, is preparing to break the sound barrier with a leap from the edge of space from 23 miles high, not deploying his parachute until he's 5000 feet from the ground (dailymail.co.uk)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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NJ bill would require kids to stay in school until age 18, leaving those who actually graduate when they are 17 in an awkward predicament (nbcphiladelphia.com)
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Question: Why have college tuitions gone up? Joe Biden Answer: Government subsidies like the ones President Obama wants to expand (realclearpolitics.com)
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Ke$ha: "When I'm depressed I make my assistant put on a penis outfit and dance around" (digitalspy.com)
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The RCP average of President Obama's job approval rating is now positive for the first time since right after Osama Bin Laden was killed. This is bad news... for Obama (realclearpolitics.com)
|
| (BattleSwarm) |
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Remember unrepentant SOPA sponsor Lamar Smith (R-MPAA)? He now has a primary challenger. Prepare to taste the fury of a fully operational Internet (battleswarmblog.com)
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As predicted in 2011, the Obama administration revises the rules on how to calculate the jobless rates, just in time to kickoff his reelection campaign (washingtontimes.com)
|
| (Sci Mag) |
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News: Scientists accidentally make a sheet of glass only three atoms thick, analyze its structure. Fark: It exactly matches a prediction made by a glass theorist in 1932 (news.sciencemag.org)
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In Nevada victory speech, Romney says his mission is to "save the soul of America" - presumably by letting America die and then retroactively baptising it (news.yahoo.com)
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M.I.A. flipped America off during Madonna's 2012 Super Bowl halftime show, just as the Mayans predicted she would (uproxx.com)
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Sun February 05, 2012
Sat February 04, 2012
Fri February 03, 2012
| |
|
A-Ha's Take On Me, as interpreted by a quintet of North Korean accordionists (youtube.com)
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|
University hires top ninja chief as business-school professor, researching how to apply ninja precepts to business world (japantimes.co.jp)
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As you can see. A completely ordinary Greek debt. Now, if I just cover it with a handkerchief & say, "Abracadabra".... Hey presto All gone (bbc.co.uk)
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Roseanne Barr for president. No, really ....STOP LAUGHING (stuff.co.nz)
|
| (vindy.com) |
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Alec Baldwin is getting scary good at impressions (vindy.com)
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In a shocking and totally unpredictable move, GOP leaders look to renege on the defense limit cuts called for in last years sequester deal. Obama and Democrats flabbergasted (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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The true hero in the grassroots fight against the Supreme Court's ridiculous Citizens United decision? That would be the one and only Stephen Colbert, of course (slate.com)
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The violence is spreading across Egypt as the football riots continue. Here is a timeline of the events (telegraph.co.uk)
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Since the field is pretty narrow, I'll just go ahead and call this guy a feather duster virtuoso (wimp.com)
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|
Scientists use deadly plant to create a cancer-killing grenade. But your Skyrim character is pretty impressive, too (gizmodo.com)
|
| (Stroked Out Daddy) |
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Yeah, that's pretty much my exact reaction upon hearing Kenny Chesney, too (theboot.com)
|
| (Ocala Star Banner) |
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Deputy's attempt to apprehend suspect results in foot chase, pitbull attack, Tasering, and a bystander stabbing himself twice (ocala.com)
|
Thu February 02, 2012
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|
Retired Supreme Court Justice O'Connor on the two leading Republican candidates, "one is a practicing polygamist, and he's not even the Mormon." Please deposit "Oh Snap" images to the right (washingtonpost.com)
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|
Hipsters, already fans of expensive pre-distressed skinny jeans, flock to expensive belts made from pre-shredded fixie tires (wired.com)
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|
Leaked plan from Microsoft details the next version of Windows Phone. It's pretty much full of win (engadget.com)
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|
Facebook will soon offer a "Premium Subscription Service" that will offer you more, and better ads. Now who wouldn't want that? (news.com.au)
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|
A look at how classic cereal boxes have changed over the years. The Lucky Charms Leprechaun was even creepier in 1963 than he is today (buzzfeed.com)
|
| (Sum Gai) |
|
Chinese restaurant catches fire. Fortunately there were no injuries, as everyone had prepared for such an event by running around their cars at red lights (woodtv.com)
|
| (Anonymous) |
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Anonymous exposes Ron Paul's ties to white supremacists, Nazis, Zuul, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria (pirasec.com)
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Sen. Mike Lee thinks President Obama using his constitutional power to make recess appointments is exactly like the Japanese attacking Pearl Harbor and killing 2400 Americans (thinkprogress.org)
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For sale. One US Presidency. Asking $1 billion. Serious rich buyers only, please (latimes.com)
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Apparently, the idea of pretending to be a federal agent and pulling people with Ontario plates who visit strip clubs so you can check their car for bombs hasn't gotten old in Hudson (newportrichey.wtsp.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
The Republican rhetoric about the president is going to cause his assassination, according to Punxsatawnee Jackson (wiod.com)
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So what happens if two "unelectable" candidates, Obama and Romney, square off in the 2012 presidential election? Oh, dear god, the Mayans were right weren't they? (abcnews.go.com)
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Obama: Look, Taliban. I'm a tough war president. I'll negotiate an end to war, but I'm no pushover. Taliban: Okay. Do us a favor first and release these top five leaders from Gitmo. You know, as a gesture. Obama: Super-dooper, guys (foxnews.com)
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|
Mr. President, after very careful consideration, sir, I've come to the conclusion that your new green jobs initiative sucks (usatoday.com)
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| |
|
Seattle library lets man watch internet porn, presumably because it's easier to clean the computer screen than to unstick book pages (seattlepi.com)
|
| (Boomstick Comics) |
|
A prequel to Jackie Brown is in our near future. Sam Jackson does not get eaten by a shark this time (boomstickcomics.com)
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You've traveled in time from the present to 1985. Paradoxes aside, how would you explain the world of 2012 to a group of high school kids? (fark.com)
|
Wed February 01, 2012
 |
|
Repulsive gravity, previously thought by physicists to only emanate from your mom, may be key to understanding dark matter (physorg.com)
|
| |
|
14-year old girl testifying before MD lawmakers tells them that they should vote to deny people their basic civil rights because it would be "my best birthday present ever" (rawstory.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
We must go back in time to 1983 and prevent George Lucas from making any changes to Star Wars. You must bring your own weapon. Safety not guaranteed. (spoilers) (nerdbastards.com)
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Colorado's biggest embarrassment since the 1997 Denver Nuggets endorses Rick Santorum. In other news, Rick Santorum is evidently still running for president (denverpost.com)
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Tanning beds PREVENT cancer. And treat lupus and fibromyalgia. And skin cancer comes from sunscreen, anyway (theatlanticwire.com)
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|
I'm not a doctor, but I think you died after inhaling carbon monoxide at a Holiday Inn Express last night (msnbc.msn.com)
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Harry Potter prefers a Hairy Pooter (starpulse.com)
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DC plans Watchmen prequels. When asked for comment, Alan Moore said: I can write characters created by Jules Verne, HG Wells, Robert Louis Stevenson, Arthur Conan Doyle and Frank Baum, but it's wrong for anyone else to write my characters (nytimes.com)
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WSJ publishes opinion piece which states Obama has an enemies list headed Charles and David Koch, written by... the lawyer for Charles and David Koch. Fox News smiles as its apprentice finally becomes a Sith (politico.com)
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Miley Cyrus broke her tailbone 'doing flips', which is a pretty dumb nickname for her boyfriend, but whatever (thesuperficial.com)
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Hasbro negotiating to move their Candy Land movie starring Adam Sandler from Universal to Sony. I don't think there's a single part of the previous statement that doesn't fill me with rage (hollywoodreporter.com)
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Women abandon Newt for a younger and prettier candidate (news.yahoo.com)
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Claiming you fought in Vietnam War to the press while serving in Afghan War is double daft (stripes.com)
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Steve-O prepares for his next stunt ... to see how fast he can nail Elisabetta Canalis (thesuperficial.com)
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Prince William deploys for six-week tour of the Falklands. Presumably Harry is busy infiltrating Argentina, because one more person in a Nazi uniform over there wouldn't stand out (guardian.co.uk)
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REM's Everybody Hurts voted most depressing song of all time. Would you agree? (telegraph.co.uk)
|
Tue January 31, 2012
| |
|
Stocks post their best January since '97. So it must be the Bush recovery. Or the anticipation of a Romney presidency. Or the Jet Stream. Or a celestial convergence. What else could it be? (thedailybeast.com)
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Economist who created the Laffer curve says Gingrich's tax plan is better than Romney's, in much the same way being hit by a Kenworth is preferable to being hit by a Peterbilt (newsmax.com)
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Phil Jackson's memoir to be titled "Eleven Rings", but which one does he consider most precious? (chicagotribune.com)
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Comedian from popular, news-savvy TV show launches Presidential campaign to expose foibles of the political process. No, we're not talking about Stephen Colbert. Come upon my lawn and let me tell you about Pat Paulsen (rollingstone.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
The top 10 colleges where kids in America pretend to be wizards and compete in Harry Potter Quidditch...is this really higher education? (collegemagazine.com)
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 |
|
Best interview question ever? "When you're doing fight scenes with Ewan McGregor, did you ever start to think about a Star Wars prequel? You know, 'I could punch him in the face now and it would be called an accident'" (denofgeek.com)
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Defense Security: "The President decides who is a terrorist and if they should be killed". Keyboard commandos outraged, delete any pre-2009 comments agreeing with this concept (motherjones.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
How rich is Mitt Romney? Take all the wealth from every president from Nixon to Obama. Then double it (starhq.com)
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Alec Baldwin lost 30 pounds after discovering he was prediabetic. Or postdiabetic, Dr. Spaceman always gets those two confused (dailymail.co.uk)
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Top Obama campaign official David Axelrod tweets picture of the President with his dog in the presidential limousine in a jab at Romney: "How loving owners transport their dogs" (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
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Obama passes on taking 18 of the 20 highest questions offered to him by voters via YouTube during recent Google hangout, but does address the pressing issues of dancing, gaming, and getting the late night munchies (huffingtonpost.com)
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Don't let their oppressive shyness, lack of collaboration skills, unwillingness to speak up, and self-imposed isolation fool you -- introverts can be a real benefit to the workplace (npr.org)
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Mon January 30, 2012
Sun January 29, 2012
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