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Headlines matching 'police officers'
Wed April 10, 2013
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Daily News Journal)
 
 
 
Man wanting "Suicide by Cop" settles for Unexpected Foam In Abdomen
source: dnj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
"Another officer arrived and the two asked the people what they were doing. They said they were looking for a place to go fishing. The officers noted none of them had fishing gear"
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 


Tue April 09, 2013
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
Officer: Have you shot any of the meth that you made? Idiot: No way I don't want to kill myself
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 


Mon April 01, 2013
(Lex 18)
 
 
 
What is this--a traffic stop for ANTS?
source: lex18.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 


Sat March 30, 2013
(Athens Banner Herald)
 
 
 
"When the officer turned the man over chicken nuggets fell out of his shirt, and two packages of link sausages fell from his pants." / "The shoplifter asked the officer to kill him, 'which I refused to do,' the officer wrote in his report"
source: onlineathens.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 


Thu March 28, 2013
(Fox News)
 
 
 
So Mexico is apparently now just a "Mad Max" movie without cool villian names or Tina Turner in a chainmail dress
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(198)
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
As cool as it sounds in your head, sitting on a flagpole in protest for 25 minutes doesn't really do much to advance the cause
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 


Wed March 27, 2013
(Gwinnett Daily Post)
 
 
 
TFA: "He then, authorities said, attacked a pair of police officers (with his pants down) before being Tasered multiple times (with his pants down)"
source: gwinnettdailypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 


Mon March 25, 2013
(Some Drunk)
 
 
 
"Police received a report that a man was exposing himself inside a West Seattle bar, where he had repeatedly pulled his purple sweatpants down and thrown 'some kind of smoke' like some sort of half-naked wizard"
source: spdblotter.seattle.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 


Thu March 21, 2013
(WMAZ Macon)
 
Video
 
Georgia has their own version of the trunk monkey: the trunk deer
source: 13wmaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 


Tue March 19, 2013
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"Sir, are you the owner of this house that you are now occupying?" "No, officer. But I'm a Moorish American, so it's OK"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 


Sat March 16, 2013
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Calling in sick before flipping your pickup after drinking is no way to go through life, Officer
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 


Thu March 14, 2013
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
Police sergeant gets demoted to officer, stuck in a room at the station for work. Why? For letting the Internet know she looked like this
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 


Wed March 13, 2013
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"Restaurant staff called police after the man fell asleep with his face planted in a plate of french fries and ketchup. Police said when they woke him up, he was so drunk he started eating his fries and didn't acknowledge the officers"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
The two women whose truck was shot up by the LAPD because they were mistaken for a black guy will not be getting a new truck because: a) the LAPD wanted them to pay income tax, b) the LAPD wanted them to pose for a photo op, c) all of the above
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 


Fri March 08, 2013
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
If you're a cop, don't drive drunk. And if you do drive drunk, don't do it in an unmarked SWAT car. And if you do drive an unmarked SWAT car, don't let it catch on fire. And if it does catch on fire, don't try to put it out with water bottles
source: lvrj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
For the record, filing fraudulent papers and pretending banks aren't real will not give you the right to squat in a $3 million house, nor will it let you run over police officers, Miss Soverign Citizen
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 


Thu March 07, 2013
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
When dealing with an officer who pulled you over on DUI charges, the best way to interact with him is: A) Ask to speak to a lawyer B) Cooperative with his orders C) Threaten to have somebody from Colombia come and kill him
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 


Tue March 05, 2013
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Cop who fired over 41 bullets during a high speed chase last year, finally fired from department. That's some fine police work there Lou
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 


Mon March 04, 2013
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Officer, that dog found a gun in the snowbank and pulled the trigger, that dog almost shot somebody"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 


Tue February 26, 2013
(WTKR)
 
 
 
If you're going to drunkenly assault police officers, try not to be carrying the individually packaged bags of pot you were going to sell that night
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(6)
 


Fri February 22, 2013
(Salon)
 
 
 
Reporting fellow police officers who threaten to kill the President? That's a firin'
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 


Wed February 20, 2013
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
You can't ride your bicycle drunk with another guy on the handlebars and then strangle the female cop who stops you for running a red, even if it's your birthday
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 


Mon February 18, 2013
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
Interstate pileup happens directly in front of Tennessee police officer, and you bet his dashcam caught the whole thing
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 


Sat February 16, 2013
(Network World)
 
 
 
Network World blogger gets a kick out of a Fark comment string discussing a story about office romances:
source: networkworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(0)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Five-year-old survives after his dad plows into a cop car while going 130-mph. And yes, there is video of it
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 


Fri February 15, 2013
(KTUL Tulsa)
 
 
 
It's just a wild guess, but for some reason it doesn't look like this woman wanted her mugshot taken
source: ktul.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: When you are being released from a holding cell, do not punch the officer freeing you
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 


Thu February 14, 2013
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
After losing her Poise, woman charged with assault for throwing used tampon at officers. Now hopes that she can Stayfree
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 


Tue February 12, 2013
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
NewsFlash
 
Possible sighting of cop-killer Chris Dorner, shots fired in Big Bear and Highway 38 closed in area for manhunt (link goes to live coverage)
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(3250)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Democratic Nevada legislator turns out to be another gun-grabber
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Officer.com)
 
 
 
♫ You did me wrong ♪ 'Cause I've been through stormy weather ♫ And the beat goes on ♪ Just like my love everlasting ♫ And the beat goes on, you'd better believe it ♪ Still moving strong on and on ♫
source: officer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(6)
 


Sun February 10, 2013
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
LAPD to give new truck to women shot by officers. So, we're good here, right?
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(319)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Police officer accused of groping handcuffed, pregnant woman. I've seen this movie before
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 


Sat February 09, 2013
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Three Denver cops won't be charged after determining there was insufficient evidence as to whether a man was roughed up. Including a picture of what "insufficient evidence" looks like
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(209)
 
(Columbus Dispatch)
 
 
 
Ohio mayor resigns because she's old fashioned. Old fashioned as in harassing an openly gay police officer, discussing his sexuality with other city employees and wanting to run his partner out of town
source: dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 


Thu February 07, 2013
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
Cops hunting badly-drawn David Byrne for impersonating an officer
source: local.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Former LAPD cop shoots cops, on the hunt for more cops while creating perpetual gun debate loop
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(719)
 


Tue February 05, 2013
(Arizona Star)
 
 
 
If you are a police lieutenant, don't take sexually explicit videos and a provocative photo of yourself in your police uniform shirt, and send them to a subordinate officer you are dating, EVEN IF YOU ARE SMOKING HOT
source: azstarnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Charleston Post and Courier)
 
 
 
You see officer, I was just chasing my friend in a fake police cruiser that I was also going to use as a prop in a music video I'm shooting today. It was a simple misunderstanding
source: postandcourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
In retrospect, Kamron realized that telling the officer he had a digital scale to avoid getting ripped off when buying marijuana was probably not the best course of action
source: buford.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 


Sun February 03, 2013
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Chicago police will no longer respond to 911 calls in person unless someone is needed to come mop up
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Clearly what we need is more citizens carrying spears. Geez, at some point it's going to start getting tough to carry all this weaponry around
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 


Sat February 02, 2013
(CTV News)
 
 
 
You are an officer on a Canadian Navy Ship and your wife cheats on you. Do you: 1) Divorce her, 2) Suck it up, or 3) Sell allied intelligence secrets to Russia
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 


Wed January 30, 2013
(Salon)
 
 
 
Papers please. Arkansas style
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Help us out here, what the hell is the point of Office 2013?
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 


Tue January 29, 2013
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
"When they asked him to clothe himself, the man, instead, broke into song and began to masturbate, according to authorities"
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
You know how you pay $150-500 for Microsoft Office? Well now they want you to pay only $100. The catch? Per year
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 


Mon January 28, 2013
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Japanese teachers and police officers retire en masse before slew of benefit cuts scheduled to go into effect February. "Critics say that leaving in the middle of the financial year is a dereliction of duty"
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 


Sun January 27, 2013
(Patch)
 
 
 
What you say: "It's not me, man" What cop hears: "It's me. I'm guilty. Arrest me immediately"
source: dacula.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 


Sat January 26, 2013
(The Advocate)
 
 
 
To ward off the terrifying perils of homosexuality, Russia is instructing military officers to spend more time looking at their recruits' crotches and asses
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 


Fri January 25, 2013
(102.1 The Edge)
 
 
 
New program seeks to cut down on drunk driving arrests, offers free rides home if the person has had a couple drinks and doesn't want to risk it. Specifically, drunk police officers
source: kdge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(PoliceOne)
 
 
 
Police chief wants officers armed with AR-15s. Why? Because fark you, that's why
source: policeone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(378)
 


Sat January 19, 2013
(Enterprise News)
 
 
 
Police union lawyer criticizes department's "offensive" policy of prohibiting officers from smoking pot
source: enterprisenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Because all crime has been wiped out in Venice, LAPD motorcycle cop takes to blocking, harassing bicyclists. Fark: you'd think the LAPD would wise up to these camcorder things already
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(235)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Motorist arrests cop for driving drunk
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 


Thu January 17, 2013
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
"...and that is what happened officer, I swear"
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 


Tue January 15, 2013
(Athens Banner Herald)
 
 
 
"Oh, hi officer, I'm a member of Seal Team Six and my mission was to steal this Slim Jim and Mountain Dew. Also, Satan is in a bottle in my back pack"
source: onlineathens.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Enterprise News)
 
 
 
Baby shower results in riot, 30 police officers, 4 arrests, one very happy defendant
source: enterprisenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 


Sun January 13, 2013
(Sun Journal (Maine))
 
 
 
31 years ago Pvt. Donald Tremblay ignored his officers' orders and deserted the Marine Corps. On Thursday they arrested her for it
source: sunjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Police officer shoots gun wielding suspect inside San Diego movie theater, I guess he's Les Miserables now
source: news.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 


Tue January 08, 2013
(WPBF West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Quote of the day from a police official after a suspect led officers on a high-speed chase, then resisted arrest: "It does appear that that person lived an alternative kind of lifestyle that involved cross dressing"
source: wpbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Just because your husband doesn't want to have sex with you doesn't mean he's breaking the law
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 


Sun January 06, 2013
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Elderly nun loses her Mojo after animal control officer swiped Chihuahua during of tug-of-war over the pooch
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Never threaten suicide in front of the Surprise police
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 


Fri January 04, 2013
(Illinois Times)
 
 
 
"911, what's your emergency?" "Whahawahawahawhawha" "Oh hi Father Donovan. Yes, we'll send an officer down to the church to help you out of the handcuffs and ball gag"
source: illinoistimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
ATTENTION CITIZENS: It is now perfectly legal to give a cop the middle finger. So, have at it and Godspeed
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 


Sat December 29, 2012
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Jacksonville police officer files the best report of the year just in the nick of time
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 


Fri December 28, 2012
(The Atlantic Wire)
 
 
 
Not one, but two anti-tank rocket launchers were turned into the LAPD during their gun buyback program this week, which must have made keeping the "no questions asked" part of the deal awfully hard for officers
source: theatlanticwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(196)
 
(Statesman)
 
 
 
Houston McCoy, the Austin police officer who stopped University of Texas Tower sniper Charles Whitman more than 46 years ago, died early Thursday afternoon. He was 72
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 


Thu December 27, 2012
(Houston Chronicle)
 
 
 
Bellaire officer and bystander killed in shooting. Carlton is dancing with less vigor these days
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Courthouse News Service)
 
 
 
When you tell your deputies to: "go out there and get me some of those taco eaters." You shouldn't be too surprised when the federal government tells you you're a racist asshole
source: courthousenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 


Wed December 26, 2012
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
TSA whistleblower says yes, it's as bad as you thought back in that super secret image viewing room
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(180)
 


Tue December 25, 2012
(WLWT)
 
 
 
If a lady has sex with you after you give her a place to stay and buy her a puppy, she may be grateful. She may also be HIV positive, crazy, and about to stab you in the back of the head
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
There are many types of heroes in this world like soldiers, firefighters & police officers. Then there are people like this who are willing to adopt two severely disabled children. Have a very Dusty Christmas
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in the gunless utopia of Britain
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(419)
 


Thu December 20, 2012
(WOAI San Antonio)
 
 
 
Don't open your door in the middle of the night just because someone claims to be a police officer, but if you do then have your sword ready
source: woai.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 


Wed December 19, 2012
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Female officer REALLY gets into her job (w/possibly Not safe for work vid)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 


Mon December 17, 2012
(Maui News)
 
 
 
This holiday season, the cops are harassing homeless people as usual. Just kidding, they got thirty kids from the local shelter for homeless families, and took them toy shopping
source: mauinews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 


Fri December 14, 2012
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
If you're a 19-year-old college student being questioned by a cop, you aren't doing yourself any favors if you call the officer a peasant and inform him you belong to a fraternity that has money and lawyers to get you out of any situation
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If there is a drunk driver of the year award, Odds are pretty well that mowing down five cops and three police motorcycles just won this guy the title
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 


Wed December 12, 2012
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
"The legislation (in MI) exempts firefighters and police officers but not schoolteachers. This is because firefighters and police officers are vital to society. Teachers are not"
source: communities.washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(237)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In case you were wondering, it's illegal to project cheese advertisements onto the moon
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 

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