Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- links tagged 'police officers'

Headlines matching 'police officers'

Wed April 10, 2013

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Man wanting "Suicide by Cop" settles for Unexpected Foam In Abdomen source: dnj.com \| share:	(59)
		"Another officer arrived and the two asked the people what they were doing. They said they were looking for a place to go fishing. The officers noted none of them had fishing gear" source: nwfdailynews.com \| share:	(12)

Tue April 09, 2013

Officer: Have you shot any of the meth that you made? Idiot: No way I don't want to kill myself

source: news-leader.com | share:

(26)

Mon April 01, 2013


		What is this--a traffic stop for ANTS? source: lex18.com \| share:	(37)

Sat March 30, 2013

"When the officer turned the man over chicken nuggets fell out of his shirt, and two packages of link sausages fell from his pants." / "The shoplifter asked the officer to kill him, 'which I refused to do,' the officer wrote in his report"

source: onlineathens.com | share:

(53)

Thu March 28, 2013

		So Mexico is apparently now just a "Mad Max" movie without cool villian names or Tina Turner in a chainmail dress source: foxnews.com \| share:	(198)
		As cool as it sounds in your head, sitting on a flagpole in protest for 25 minutes doesn't really do much to advance the cause source: khou.com \| share:	(22)

Wed March 27, 2013

TFA: "He then, authorities said, attacked a pair of police officers (with his pants down) before being Tasered multiple times (with his pants down)"

source: gwinnettdailypost.com | share:

(49)

Mon March 25, 2013


(Some Drunk)		"Police received a report that a man was exposing himself inside a West Seattle bar, where he had repeatedly pulled his purple sweatpants down and thrown 'some kind of smoke' like some sort of half-naked wizard" source: spdblotter.seattle.gov \| share:	(50)

Thu March 21, 2013

Georgia has their own version of the trunk monkey: the trunk deer

source: 13wmaz.com | share:

(52)

Tue March 19, 2013

"Sir, are you the owner of this house that you are now occupying?" "No, officer. But I'm a Moorish American, so it's OK"

source: washingtonpost.com | share:

(63)

Sat March 16, 2013

Calling in sick before flipping your pickup after drinking is no way to go through life, Officer

source: clickondetroit.com | share:

(26)

Thu March 14, 2013

Police sergeant gets demoted to officer, stuck in a room at the station for work. Why? For letting the Internet know she looked like this

source: ksat.com | share:

(117)

Wed March 13, 2013

		"Restaurant staff called police after the man fell asleep with his face planted in a plate of french fries and ketchup. Police said when they woke him up, he was so drunk he started eating his fries and didn't acknowledge the officers" source: nbcnews.com \| share:	(52)
		The two women whose truck was shot up by the LAPD because they were mistaken for a black guy will not be getting a new truck because: a) the LAPD wanted them to pay income tax, b) the LAPD wanted them to pose for a photo op, c) all of the above source: nbclosangeles.com \| share:	(153)

Fri March 08, 2013

		If you're a cop, don't drive drunk. And if you do drive drunk, don't do it in an unmarked SWAT car. And if you do drive an unmarked SWAT car, don't let it catch on fire. And if it does catch on fire, don't try to put it out with water bottles source: lvrj.com \| share:	(72)
		For the record, filing fraudulent papers and pretending banks aren't real will not give you the right to squat in a $3 million house, nor will it let you run over police officers, Miss Soverign Citizen source: wreg.com \| share:	(170)

Thu March 07, 2013

When dealing with an officer who pulled you over on DUI charges, the best way to interact with him is: A) Ask to speak to a lawyer B) Cooperative with his orders C) Threaten to have somebody from Colombia come and kill him

source: orlandosentinel.com | share:

(19)

Tue March 05, 2013

Cop who fired over 41 bullets during a high speed chase last year, finally fired from department. That's some fine police work there Lou

source: cbsnews.com | share:

(43)

Mon March 04, 2013

"Officer, that dog found a gun in the snowbank and pulled the trigger, that dog almost shot somebody"

source: news.yahoo.com | share:

(36)

Tue February 26, 2013

If you're going to drunkenly assault police officers, try not to be carrying the individually packaged bags of pot you were going to sell that night

source: wtkr.com | share:

(6)

Fri February 22, 2013

Reporting fellow police officers who threaten to kill the President? That's a firin'

source: salon.com | share:

(120)

Wed February 20, 2013

You can't ride your bicycle drunk with another guy on the handlebars and then strangle the female cop who stops you for running a red, even if it's your birthday

source: thedenverchannel.com | share:

(38)

Mon February 18, 2013

Interstate pileup happens directly in front of Tennessee police officer, and you bet his dashcam caught the whole thing

source: youtube.com | share:

(54)

Sat February 16, 2013

		Network World blogger gets a kick out of a Fark comment string discussing a story about office romances: source: networkworld.com \| share:	(0)
		Five-year-old survives after his dad plows into a cop car while going 130-mph. And yes, there is video of it source: desmoinesregister.com \| share:	(130)

Fri February 15, 2013

		It's just a wild guess, but for some reason it doesn't look like this woman wanted her mugshot taken source: ktul.com \| share:	(68)
		Pro-tip: When you are being released from a holding cell, do not punch the officer freeing you source: abc27.com \| share:	(24)

Thu February 14, 2013

After losing her Poise, woman charged with assault for throwing used tampon at officers. Now hopes that she can Stayfree

source: twincities.com | share:

(39)

Tue February 12, 2013

		Possible sighting of cop-killer Chris Dorner, shots fired in Big Bear and Highway 38 closed in area for manhunt (link goes to live coverage) source: nbclosangeles.com \| share:	(3250)
		Democratic Nevada legislator turns out to be another gun-grabber source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	(33)
		♫ You did me wrong ♪ 'Cause I've been through stormy weather ♫ And the beat goes on ♪ Just like my love everlasting ♫ And the beat goes on, you'd better believe it ♪ Still moving strong on and on ♫ source: officer.com \| share:	(6)

Sun February 10, 2013

		LAPD to give new truck to women shot by officers. So, we're good here, right? source: ktla.com \| share:	(319)
		Police officer accused of groping handcuffed, pregnant woman. I've seen this movie before source: komonews.com \| share:	(112)

Sat February 09, 2013

		Three Denver cops won't be charged after determining there was insufficient evidence as to whether a man was roughed up. Including a picture of what "insufficient evidence" looks like source: thedenverchannel.com \| share:	(209)
		Ohio mayor resigns because she's old fashioned. Old fashioned as in harassing an openly gay police officer, discussing his sexuality with other city employees and wanting to run his partner out of town source: dispatch.com \| share:	(102)

Thu February 07, 2013

		Cops hunting badly-drawn David Byrne for impersonating an officer source: local.stv.tv \| share:	(78)
		Former LAPD cop shoots cops, on the hunt for more cops while creating perpetual gun debate loop source: cbsnews.com \| share:	(719)

Tue February 05, 2013

		If you are a police lieutenant, don't take sexually explicit videos and a provocative photo of yourself in your police uniform shirt, and send them to a subordinate officer you are dating, EVEN IF YOU ARE SMOKING HOT source: azstarnet.com \| share:	(107)
		You see officer, I was just chasing my friend in a fake police cruiser that I was also going to use as a prop in a music video I'm shooting today. It was a simple misunderstanding source: postandcourier.com \| share:	(34)
		In retrospect, Kamron realized that telling the officer he had a digital scale to avoid getting ripped off when buying marijuana was probably not the best course of action source: buford.patch.com \| share:	(30)

Sun February 03, 2013

		Chicago police will no longer respond to 911 calls in person unless someone is needed to come mop up source: suntimes.com \| share:	(90)
		Clearly what we need is more citizens carrying spears. Geez, at some point it's going to start getting tough to carry all this weaponry around source: boston.com \| share:	(62)

Sat February 02, 2013

You are an officer on a Canadian Navy Ship and your wife cheats on you. Do you: 1) Divorce her, 2) Suck it up, or 3) Sell allied intelligence secrets to Russia

source: ctvnews.ca | share:

(48)

Wed January 30, 2013

		Papers please. Arkansas style source: salon.com \| share:	(128)
		Help us out here, what the hell is the point of Office 2013? source: theregister.co.uk \| share:	(106)

Tue January 29, 2013

		"When they asked him to clothe himself, the man, instead, broke into song and began to masturbate, according to authorities" source: nola.com \| share:	(54)
		You know how you pay $150-500 for Microsoft Office? Well now they want you to pay only $100. The catch? Per year source: money.cnn.com \| share:	(101)

Mon January 28, 2013

Japanese teachers and police officers retire en masse before slew of benefit cuts scheduled to go into effect February. "Critics say that leaving in the middle of the financial year is a dereliction of duty"

source: japantoday.com | share:

(23)

Sun January 27, 2013

What you say: "It's not me, man" What cop hears: "It's me. I'm guilty. Arrest me immediately"

source: dacula.patch.com | share:

(71)

Sat January 26, 2013

To ward off the terrifying perils of homosexuality, Russia is instructing military officers to spend more time looking at their recruits' crotches and asses

source: advocate.com | share:

(30)

Fri January 25, 2013

		New program seeks to cut down on drunk driving arrests, offers free rides home if the person has had a couple drinks and doesn't want to risk it. Specifically, drunk police officers source: kdge.com \| share:	(29)
		Police chief wants officers armed with AR-15s. Why? Because fark you, that's why source: policeone.com \| share:	(378)

Sat January 19, 2013

		Police union lawyer criticizes department's "offensive" policy of prohibiting officers from smoking pot source: enterprisenews.com \| share:	(54)
		Because all crime has been wiped out in Venice, LAPD motorcycle cop takes to blocking, harassing bicyclists. Fark: you'd think the LAPD would wise up to these camcorder things already source: nbclosangeles.com \| share:	(235)
		Motorist arrests cop for driving drunk source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	(41)

Thu January 17, 2013

"...and that is what happened officer, I swear"

source: local10.com | share:

(70)

Tue January 15, 2013

		"Oh, hi officer, I'm a member of Seal Team Six and my mission was to steal this Slim Jim and Mountain Dew. Also, Satan is in a bottle in my back pack" source: onlineathens.com \| share:	(44)
		Baby shower results in riot, 30 police officers, 4 arrests, one very happy defendant source: enterprisenews.com \| share:	(20)

Sun January 13, 2013

		31 years ago Pvt. Donald Tremblay ignored his officers' orders and deserted the Marine Corps. On Thursday they arrested her for it source: sunjournal.com \| share:	(115)
		Police officer shoots gun wielding suspect inside San Diego movie theater, I guess he's Les Miserables now source: news.msn.com \| share:	(63)

Tue January 08, 2013

		Quote of the day from a police official after a suspect led officers on a high-speed chase, then resisted arrest: "It does appear that that person lived an alternative kind of lifestyle that involved cross dressing" source: wpbf.com \| share:	(18)
		Just because your husband doesn't want to have sex with you doesn't mean he's breaking the law source: azcentral.com \| share:	(84)

Sun January 06, 2013

		Elderly nun loses her Mojo after animal control officer swiped Chihuahua during of tug-of-war over the pooch source: sun-sentinel.com \| share:	(20)
		Never threaten suicide in front of the Surprise police source: azfamily.com \| share:	(110)

Fri January 04, 2013

(Illinois Times)		"911, what's your emergency?" "Whahawahawahawhawha" "Oh hi Father Donovan. Yes, we'll send an officer down to the church to help you out of the handcuffs and ball gag" source: illinoistimes.com \| share:	(71)
		ATTENTION CITIZENS: It is now perfectly legal to give a cop the middle finger. So, have at it and Godspeed source: huffingtonpost.com \| share:	(70)

Sat December 29, 2012

Jacksonville police officer files the best report of the year just in the nick of time

source: firstcoastnews.com | share:

(45)

Fri December 28, 2012

		Not one, but two anti-tank rocket launchers were turned into the LAPD during their gun buyback program this week, which must have made keeping the "no questions asked" part of the deal awfully hard for officers source: theatlanticwire.com \| share:	(196)
		Houston McCoy, the Austin police officer who stopped University of Texas Tower sniper Charles Whitman more than 46 years ago, died early Thursday afternoon. He was 72 source: statesman.com \| share:	(147)

Thu December 27, 2012

		Bellaire officer and bystander killed in shooting. Carlton is dancing with less vigor these days source: chron.com \| share:	(49)
		When you tell your deputies to: "go out there and get me some of those taco eaters." You shouldn't be too surprised when the federal government tells you you're a racist asshole source: courthousenews.com \| share:	(100)

Wed December 26, 2012

TSA whistleblower says yes, it's as bad as you thought back in that super secret image viewing room

source: dailymail.co.uk | share:

(180)

Tue December 25, 2012

		If a lady has sex with you after you give her a place to stay and buy her a puppy, she may be grateful. She may also be HIV positive, crazy, and about to stab you in the back of the head source: wlwt.com \| share:	(95)
		There are many types of heroes in this world like soldiers, firefighters & police officers. Then there are people like this who are willing to adopt two severely disabled children. Have a very Dusty Christmas source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	(37)
		Meanwhile, in the gunless utopia of Britain source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	(419)

Thu December 20, 2012

Don't open your door in the middle of the night just because someone claims to be a police officer, but if you do then have your sword ready

source: woai.com | share:

(25)

Wed December 19, 2012

Female officer REALLY gets into her job (w/possibly Not safe for work vid)

source: dailymail.co.uk | share:

(125)

Mon December 17, 2012

This holiday season, the cops are harassing homeless people as usual. Just kidding, they got thirty kids from the local shelter for homeless families, and took them toy shopping

source: mauinews.com | share:

(18)

Fri December 14, 2012

		If you're a 19-year-old college student being questioned by a cop, you aren't doing yourself any favors if you call the officer a peasant and inform him you belong to a fraternity that has money and lawyers to get you out of any situation source: azcentral.com \| share:	(70)
		If there is a drunk driver of the year award, Odds are pretty well that mowing down five cops and three police motorcycles just won this guy the title source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	(34)

Wed December 12, 2012

		"The legislation (in MI) exempts firefighters and police officers but not schoolteachers. This is because firefighters and police officers are vital to society. Teachers are not" source: communities.washingtontimes.com \| share:	(237)
		In case you were wondering, it's illegal to project cheese advertisements onto the moon source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	(79)

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