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Headlines matching 'police'
Sat February 11, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Springfield Republican) Dumbass If there's ever a right time to do heroin, it's not behind the wheel, stopped at a light, next to a police car  (masslive.com) (46)


Fri February 10, 2012
(NBC 10) Amusing Fan of British sitcom "Red Dwarf" escapes Philadelphia Police custody. Last seen wearing handcuffs and green jumpsuit. Answers to "Smeghead"  (nbcphiladelphia.com) (89)
(ABC) Interesting Vietnamese police trying to force farmer off his land find out the hard way that the war wasn't all that long ago, and guerilla warfare is apparently like riding a bicycle  (abcnews.go.com) (37)


Thu February 09, 2012
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Fail DUDE, the guy in full police uniform probably isn't in on the robbery  (ajc.com) (158)
(CBS 46 Atlanta) Amusing Two men use a rolled-up magazine 'radar gun' in an attempt to pull over a motorist... who of course turns out to be an off-duty police officer  (cbsatlanta.com) (40)
(Jacksonville.com) Florida One legged cocaine dealer runs away from police by hopping. Really, Florida? I mean, really?  (jacksonville.com) (36)


Wed February 08, 2012
(NBC Bay Area) Spiffy You may get arrested if you tell the police your 6 lbs of marijuana has been stolen. Or, the cops may catch the burglars and allow you to sue for the value of the weed  (nbcbayarea.com) (62)


Tue February 07, 2012
(Short List) Hero Not news: Man starts police chase. Fark: Man starts police chase because he "always wanted to do it"  (shortlist.com) (62)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida "Police spoke to the man, who said he had just gotten out of the shower and was walking past the window. He said he did not realize there were a lot of people across the street who could see him"  (palmbeachpost.com) (43)


Mon February 06, 2012
(Wired) Followup Police: Hand over your password. Woman: No, 5th amendment. Court months later: No, hand over your password. Woman: Fine. The password is... um... uhhhh  (wired.com) (137)
(wptv.com) Florida Honestly officer, my daughter with cerebral palsy said I could take 40 grand from her special needs account so my son and I could buy trucks  (wptv.com) (52)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Interesting Police arrest a woman who smelled like alcohol and kept trying to take off her clothes like it's a bad thing  (ajc.com) (47)


Sun February 05, 2012
(Some Guy) Amusing Canadian police determine that certain astrological signs are more likely to be Aries-ted  (inquisitr.com) (49)
(WTSP) Florida Eight arrested for soliciting undercover male police officers in park include Denny's consultant. Maybe he shouldn't have asked for the "Sausage Slam?"  (wtsp.com) (93)


Sat February 04, 2012
(Statesman) Hero News: motorcyclist chases down DUI hit-and-run driver and hog-ties him with a belt. Texas: for the second time in 9 months. Fark: is recognized at the scene by the arresting police officer from the prior incident  (m.statesman.com) (115)


Fri February 03, 2012
(Stuff.co.nz) Followup Utah prosecutors clear police of all charges for using pepper spray and batons on a group of Polynesian students performing a haka at a football game, because no one in Utah can be expected to have the slightest idea what a haka is  (stuff.co.nz) (73)
(Telegraph) Followup The violence is spreading across Egypt as the football riots continue. Here is a timeline of the events  (telegraph.co.uk) (30)
(Chicago Tribune) Dumbass My Father always told me, "If you're doing something that will make you wanted by the police, remember not to ask the police if you're wanted"  (chicagotribune.com) (14)
(Yahoo) Amusing This is why you don't let the inmates print the logos for the side of your police cars  (news.yahoo.com) (142)


Thu February 02, 2012
(DCist) Stupid Three Occupy DC protestors are on the fourth day of a "sleep strike" to protest the Park Police's ban on camping in McPherson Square and the bugs BURROWING UNDER THEIR SKIN  (dcist.com) (165)


Wed February 01, 2012
(Fox News) Unlikely Police seize 1500 pounds of pot from NY apartment, estimate its street value at $7.5 million. Dude, $5000 a pound? In New York? Must have been some crappy stuff  (foxnews.com) (56)


Tue January 31, 2012
(CTV) Followup After hearing some sports cars are being driven dangerously police revoke the license of the next guy they find driving a sports car. Judge finds a flaw in their cunning plan  (ctvbc.ctv.ca) (98)
(BBC) Asinine Secret NATO report seems to indicate that Pakistan intelligence and the Taliban are BFFs  (bbc.co.uk) (202)
(WXYZ Detroit) Strange Man in clown costume robs convenience store, seen escaping in small car with 15 to 20 accomplices  (wxyz.com) (43)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Protip: Before you post your crazy driving antics on YouTube, remember that the police watch the internets, too  (news.com.au) (82)
(WSB TV) Strange You know your day is going to suck when it starts with a police chase ending on your ass, literally  (wsbtv.com) (16)


Mon January 30, 2012
(Chicago Tribune) Dumbass Man found passed out in SUV urinates on Chicago police station floor, insists his air piano performance sounded awesome. The percussive handcuffs really killed it  (chicagotribune.com) (11)
(Kitsap Sun) Dumbass Drunk 21 year old enters wrong apartment, climbs into bed with 80 year old woman. He told police nothing happened, at least nothing he wanted to admit  (kitsapsun.com) (35)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Woman's rape claim suddenly loses credibility when police notice all her bruises wash off  (news.com.au) (185)


Sun January 29, 2012
(The Sun) Silly A fan made a monkey gesture during Liverpool v. Man U game. The Sun is there  (thesun.co.uk) (69)
(LA Times) PSA 100 Occupy protesters learn that an illegal demonstration is when you stick around after the police tell you to move your legal demonstration. Oh, and when you tear down a fence to take over an empty building  (latimes.com) (224)


Sat January 28, 2012
(MSNBC) Strange Maybe trying to arrest your fellow officer while he is at work wasn't the best plan  (usnews.msnbc.msn.com) (177)


Fri January 27, 2012
(LA Times) Followup John Travolta's stolen classic Mercedes discovered in pieces. Police call it an absolute wreck, needing body work and complete restoration ... but enough about Travolta's career  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (18)
(The Daily Press) Sad NYC Tfers: If you've seen this kid recently, let the police know. LGT details. Dad is subby's co-worker  (articles.dailypress.com) (76)
(TBO) Florida Next up on Storage Wars.... granny  (www2.tbo.com) (44)


Thu January 26, 2012
(Pop Matters) Silly Turns out that, just like "Star Wars", Joseph Campbell wrote "Police Academy". Prepare for a special edition where Jar Jar makes wacky noises  (popmatters.com) (29)
(Some Guy) Florida Millions of homes in Florida and this guy had to pick a police officer's to break into. Hilarity ensues. (With "Ow,ow,ow" mugshot goodness)  (news4jax.com) (21)
(Reuters) Weird It's FARK word problem time: If a four-year-old boy pulls nine bags of weed out of his jacket pocket and hands them over to his teacher, how many of those nine bags will make it to the police evidence room?  (reuters.com) (43)
(Some Guy) Strange Woman On Run After Bank Robbery. Police describe her as tough and ruthless. Wait. Correct that. Police describe her as rough and toothless  (wtae.com) (38)


Wed January 25, 2012
(The Local (Germany)) Sappy Today's Fark-ready headline:"Police pinch pug-pilfering pensioner"  (thelocal.de) (22)
(Abc.net.au) Strange Man who was arrested by police for robbing a police officer at knifepoint and fleeing capture while naked tells judge that he can't be prosecuted because he was possessed by something "joyriding" in his body  (abc.net.au) (30)
(SFGate) Stupid East Haven, CT Mayor responds to arrest of 4 police officers charged with profiling and harassment of Latinos with: A) Defense of officers B) Plan to redeem police force to Latino Community C) He will be eating tacos for dinner (With video)  (blog.sfgate.com) (118)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida "Police seized a red-spitting cobra, a puff adder, a uracoan rattlesnake, two false cobras and a small alligator in the apartment." WHY WOULD YOU LIVE WITH SUCH THINGS?  (sun-sentinel.com) (66)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) PSA If you left 25 pounds of meth in a suitcase at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, police would like a word with you  (ajc.com) (65)


Tue January 24, 2012
(NYPost) Dumbass If you suspect a teenager of ding-dong-ditching you, firing your handgun in the air and then holding him prisoner at gunpoint until the police arrive is not a measured response  (nypost.com) (110)
(New Haven Register) Dumbass Feds arrest four East Haven, Connecticut police officers for racial profiling in pre-dawn raid. Includes bonus video of the officers arresting a white reverend for filming them  (nhregister.com) (76)
(TMZ) Sad Porn star Tori Black arrested for domestic battery in a dispute over breast milk. Police are still investigating how she beat the husband off  (tmz.com) (199)
(Some Guy) Strange Man calls 911, asks them to send the police because he wants to fight with them. Naturally, 911 obliges  (triblocal.com) (36)
(WGAL 8) Obvious Climbing trees. Fun as a kid. However if you're an adult and you're doing it to peep into people's houses, Police might have a problem  (wgal.com) (21)
(Daily Mail) Florida Sorta news: 15-year old girl calls 911 because she could hear her mother having sex. Fark: She asks the police to take her to a Christian children's shelter because she felt "disrespected"  (dailymail.co.uk) (161)


Mon January 23, 2012
(CBS News) Hero In a freak mishap, the Supreme Court votes *against* the police state by striking down warrantless GPS vehicle tracking  (cbsnews.com) (222)
(This Is Plymouth) Unlikely Thieves steal 450 miniature bottles of alcohol. Police hunt someone who is a little drunk  (thisisplymouth.co.uk) (29)
(Some Howler) Florida What police cars really need are giant new loud sirens called Howlers. Because the old ones surely weren't loud enough  (bartow.wtsp.com) (96)


Sun January 22, 2012
(Chicago Sun-Times) Followup Not feeling well? Stuffed up? Your papers, citizen. I'll just go ahead and transmit this cold medicine purchase information to the police  (suntimes.com) (286)


Sat January 21, 2012
(Kansas City) Dumbass Bad: having to call the police because a burglar breaks into your home. Worse: Burglar steals $900 in cash. Fark: Which was a part of the $3,522 in cookie sales money that you stole from a Girl Scouts troop  (kansascity.com) (28)


Fri January 20, 2012
(Independent) Ironic Cops discover marijuana farm after exhaustive search just yards from the police station  (independent.co.uk) (35)
(Canada.com) Dumbass Vancouver police arrest wrong suspect, then arrest correct suspect, then let him go when they realize no crime took place  (canada.com) (33)
(MSNBC) Obvious Deep-rooted hatred is causing more and more Afghans to kill the very same American soldiers training them. You know, a nice game of Buzkashi would probably release some of that tension. It's worked before, I know that much anyway  (msnbc.msn.com) (132)
(Yahoo) Interesting Fire at NJ professor's home reveals cache of child porn. Police now investigating whether fire was started on orders from a giant anthropomorphic rabbit  (news.yahoo.com) (148)
(STLToday) Strange Five St. Louis school buses missing. If five big yellow things appeared in your back yard, please mention it to police when you have the time. There's a picture in the article of what a school bus looks like  (stltoday.com) (38)
(Yahoo) Followup We here at Al-Qaeda are thrilled to recognize Aswan Alam for all his hard work and dedication and promote him to Senior Operations Organizer, and...hey does anybody else hear a high-pitched whistling sound?  (news.yahoo.com) (79)
(Some Guy) Fail Protip: The police will not arrest the ghost you blamed for beating your wife, they will arrest you  (thenorthwestern.com) (19)


Thu January 19, 2012
(Philly.com) Weird Woman in trouble for finding used horses a new home. In the meat department  (philly.com) (36)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Police officer fired for gross misconduct after having sex with five women while on duty. *views pics* Yep, that's gross  (dailymail.co.uk) (88)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Couple try to blow up car with flaming tampons, police move in after receiving call on applicator tip line  (dailymail.co.uk) (30)
(Some Guy) Scary After a Tibetan set himself on fire in protest, witnesses say the Chinese police tried to put out the flames. Using clubs spiked with nails  (asiaone.com) (64)
(Pravda) Obvious "This year, more then likely, America will transfer fully into a police state dictatorship"  (english.pravda.ru) (130)
(TC Palm) Florida Woman arrested for stealing more than 130 sticks of men's antiperspirant products. Police on lookout for woman smelling like football, bare-knuckle fights, and victory  (tcpalm.com) (13)
(Some Guy) Dumbass When running from the cops, do you: c) run a red light and crash into some other guy wanted for running from the police?  (hermistonherald.com) (13)
(Some Hammer) Florida Stop. Hammer Time  (wtsp.com) (24)
(Some Half Naked Chick) Amusing Apparently, the idea of posing for pics with half-naked chicks on the top of police cars hasn't gotten old for policemen in California  (wtsp.com) (20)
(Herald Tribune) Florida Florida Department of Law Enforcement needs to test new Breathalyzers, but how? Buy a bunch of Jim Beam and Doritos and get the employees drunk, of course  (heraldtribune.com) (43)


Wed January 18, 2012
(Some Guy) Silly Man tries to escape police...with his walker. Still no cure for fuzzy tennis balls stuck in the mud  (newsleader.com) (16)
(Yorkshire Evening Post) Amusing You can't just get into a car chase with police if you're naked. This is especially true if you ARE a cop  (yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk) (6)
(ABC) Followup Police announce the two arrests in the killing of a soccer player. The airing of this announcement marked the most airtime the US media has given to anything soccer-related in more than six months  (abcnews.go.com) (14)


Tue January 17, 2012
(Some Guy) Dumbass Well, I'm drunk and my car is stuck in the front lawn so I may as well pass out right here. What's that you say? This is not my own front lawn? Oh, it belongs to the Michigan State Police. Well that changes things now doesn't it?  (cadillacnews.com) (18)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Police discover 300 pot plants at luxury £850,000 mansion on 'Millionaire's Row', seize all 200 (w/pics of 50 pot plants)  (dailymail.co.uk) (35)
(Some Guy) Fail Detroit police cannot keep up with the recent rise in car break-ins plaguing the city streets. Their solution? Don't park there anymore  (autoblog.com) (49)
(NJ.com) Dumbass Jersey City assemblyman and police detective in trouble for Facebook posting calling the Philadelphia Eagles "gaybirds"  (nj.com) (53)


Mon January 16, 2012
(Washington Post) Obvious DC police reach out to gay, lesbian gangs with a fashion show  (washingtonpost.com) (54)
(Some Business Review) Obvious People lie more in electronic communications than face-to-face, according to the article written by an astronaut-police-tiger I trained  (web.hbr.org) (34)
(Some Naked Guy) Obvious Police mistake Emma Thompson for a naked man. AWKWARD  (huffingtonpost.co.uk) (33)
(Canada.com) Spiffy Homeless man finds €7000 and turns it over to police, would like your spare change  (canada.com) (41)
(Yahoo) Scary When your city falls on hard financial times you have to cut back on a few luxuries like extra police, library operating hours, democracy--you know, little stuff like that  (news.yahoo.com) (107)


Sun January 15, 2012
(Herald-Leader) Cool Some governments use a police chopper to assist officers on the ground chasing a stolen car. The Dutch use F-16s  (kentucky.com) (71)


Sat January 14, 2012
(Some Guy) Asinine Police feel they did nothing wrong by interrogating a 12 year old for hours with the camera "accidentally" turned off and getting to confess to a crime he denied doing before and after the "confession"  (commercialappeal.com) (314)
(Some Guy) Interesting One hurt in crash outside Coca-Cola plant. Police speculate the driver of the Mello Yello car was Fantasizing about Mr. Pibb before the car was Crushed  (nbcconnecticut.com) (37)


Fri January 13, 2012
(Post Crescent) Unlikely Apparently, there can be such a thing as too much cowbell. At least, according to the Oshkosh Police Department  (postcrescent.com) (48)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Man faces felony after breaking into girl's dorm. "He also said he had drank four beers at a fraternity earlier, but police didn't say which one". Subby will take a guess here and say Genny Cream Ale  (centredaily.com) (89)
(WWL) Fail Cousins go to house to smoke pot, the guy that tagged along discovers a stash of guns, opens fire on occupants with their own guns, owner returns fire but is killed, police give chase, car crashes, cops shoot all three. The Aristocrats  (wwl.com) (94)
(Ars Technica) Spiffy You know how police have been harassing people for filming instances police misconduct with their smartphones? Well it looks like the Obama Administration may finally be doing something about that  (arstechnica.com) (184)
(BBC) Followup Coppers clip two more over Comber murder, still looking for tips before the scene is completely barren. It's the style of good policework  (bbc.co.uk) (4)
(BBC) Followup Police find no evidence of an explosion in Derry, but that standpipe didn't collapse on its own  (bbc.co.uk) (51)


Wed January 11, 2012
(Nola.com) News New Orleans elementary school on lockdown after gunman enters building to hide from police  (nola.com) (60)
(USA Today) Stupid There's been a huge rise in the number of civilians killed or wounded by gunfire as a result of quasi-military police raids, which is naturally leading police to question the tactic. Fark: Because cops might get hurt, too  (usatoday.com) (133)
(St. Petersburg Times) Interesting Daniel Tosh to play Steve Guttenberg's role in 'Police Academy' remake?  (tampabay.com) (80)
(Some Guy) Dumbass If you have an outstanding warrant for rape, you may want to avoid flirting with a uniformed police officer  (heraldextra.com) (190)


Tue January 10, 2012
(Komo) Dumbass Police find 23 pounds of marijuana in man's car after he collides with a deer and doesn't stop. With "Dude, wait what?" mugshot  (komonews.com) (71)
(STV.tv) Sad Worker found dead in vat at Glenfiddich whisky distillery. Police have not ruled out that alcohol could be a factor in his death  (news.stv.tv) (121)
(Sun Journal (Maine)) Dumbass Man calls police to report that someone tried to break into his garage... to steal his marijuana. "Police seized about 25 pot plants, several of them fully matured, and about 14 ounces of processed marijuana"  (sunjournal.com) (69)
(MSNBC) Florida Police: Man Drove Into Flock of Seagulls. Bystander: I ran  (msnbc.msn.com) (56)
(Des Moines Register) Dumbass Yes, I will assault the police with a stolen stuffed monkey  (blogs.desmoinesregister.com) (37)


Mon January 09, 2012
(NJ.com) Strange Police nab 5-man "Ocean's 11 Gang," suspected of burglarizing 15 homes and not being very good at counting  (nj.com) (25)


Sun January 08, 2012
(Some Guy) Fail When even Texas of all places criticizes your juvenile sentencing laws you might want to consider looking at said laws more closely  (masslive.com) (34)


Fri January 06, 2012
(Yahoo) Followup After Texas school shooting where police killed a 15-year-old eighth grader, many questions loom--the first of which is, what is a 15 year old doing in eighth grade?  (news.yahoo.com) (192)
(Some Guy) Amusing Giant boot stolen from display. Police on the lookout for an old lady who has so many kids she doesn't know what to do  (lfpress.com) (26)


Thu January 05, 2012
(Detroit Free Press) Scary Detroit resident: Help - Someone's trying to kill me. Detroit Police: I'm sorry....we're closed. Try again tomorrow after 8:00am  (freep.com) (129)
(TC Palm) Florida Florida man bitten, stabbed after argument with girlfriend over missing New Year's Eve 'ball drop' on TV. To prevent future 'ball drop' violence, police suggest he set his DVR next time  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (10)
(Jalopnik) Obvious Police speculate vehicle may have been traveling over the posted speed limit of 30 miles per hour, planning a complete investigation once they get the car down from the house roof it ended up on  (jalopnik.com) (11)
(Some Guy) Sick You probably made some bad choices in life when police find your body on fire on the side of the road and have to release pictures of your tattoos to see if anyone can identify you  (wtkr.com) (28)
(KSL News) Sad Six police officers shot in ChicOgden  (ksl.com) (63)
(Yahoo) Strange Woman gives police inconsistent stories in regard to where her missing son, sharpie, have been for more than a month  (news.yahoo.com) (83)
(Komo) Asinine Want to see a dash-cam video from a police cruiser? Then we'll sue you for asking, citizen. Bonus: Videos will only be released after statue of limitations expires for police misconduct  (komonews.com) (243)


Wed January 04, 2012
(Evansville Courier & Press) Asinine Indiana State Police ban "potentially dangerous" cans of Dr Pepper from Statehouse, where vending machines inside sell ... Dr Pepper  (courierpress.com) (64)


Tue January 03, 2012
(Google) Florida Today's burning question before SCOTUS: Does a police dog's sniff outside a house give officers the right to get a search warrant for illegal drugs, or is the sniff an unconstitutional search?  (google.com) (167)
(WXYZ Detroit) Fail Because crime is so low, Detroit decides to lay off 100 police officers  (wxyz.com) (150)
(Chicago Tribune) Fail When drunk at the McDonald's drive-through, don't fall asleep. If you fall asleep and are awakened by the Chicago Police, don't give a fake name. If you must give a fake name, make sure it does not belong to a registered sex offender  (chicagotribune.com) (40)


Mon January 02, 2012
(Daily Mail) Florida 12-year-old boy in critical condition after being hit in head by celebratory New Year gunshot fired from miles away. Police are baffled, but seek someone who likes Skyrim a lot  (dailymail.co.uk) (77)


Sat December 31, 2011
(Protective People) PSA Police ponder public porn problem? Pfft, proliferation protests push puritanical principles. Protecting pre-pubescent progeny praiseworthy, providing poised policy pursued  (windsorstar.com) (44)
(Canoe) Dumbass "Hello, 911? I've just been run over...no, I don't need an ambulance, just the police...no, it was just a shopping cart that ran over my foot - I'd like the cops to arrest the woman who did it"  (cnews.canoe.ca) (70)
(Some Guy) Weird Two men break into a house and want to know "Where's the stuff?" And by stuff, we mean the safe filled with marijuana  (semissourian.com) (28)


Fri December 30, 2011
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit rules that police on the street can't simply PUT A KNIFE TO YOUR GENITALS  (blogs.wsj.com) (39)
(WSOCTV.com) Asinine Police: "We totally have video of the handcuffed suspect choking herself to death, but we're refusing to release it because it mysteriously disappeared after being erased twice and set on fire"  (wsoctv.com) (74)
(Telegram) Dumbass "Hello, Police? Yeah, could you come and arrest this guy who beat me up because he saw kiddie porn on my cellphone? Kthx"  (telegram.com) (34)
(Yahoo) Amusing "____ police officers quell ___-fueled violence between ____ and ____ at birthplace of ____" Your words: christians(x2), jesus, broom, and Palestinian. Fill 'em in, still won't make sense  (news.yahoo.com) (47)


Thu December 29, 2011
(TC Palm) Florida Sandwich attack on police goes horribly wrong. No buns about it  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (32)
(Fiji Times) Weird Police raid home to seize illegal wine, wine enthusiast fights back with a spear. Time to call in the anti-terroirism squad  (fijitimes.com) (32)
(NJ.com) Fail Man's car seized by police, destroyed and returned after a search for drugs turned up zero evidence. Damage to the car worth $12,000  (nj.com) (123)
(Boston Herald) Interesting Missing drug evidence points to rogue cop. In other news, there are a lot of rogue cops in Massachusetts. In other other news, police departments are not allowed to test officers for drug use  (bostonherald.com) (53)
(Some Guy) Florida If you've been drinking, it's not a wise idea to drive up to an active crime scene crawling with police  (naplesnews.com) (14)
(SeattlePI) Interesting Body found in Port Townshend, Washington leaves police asking "Who Are You?"  (seattlepi.com) (35)


Wed December 28, 2011
(Courier Press) Obvious "I could only understand about every fifth word he said." Man with 0.41 BAC the most intoxicated subject police had ever seen driving, posting on Politics tab  (courierpress.com) (131)
(Huffington Post) Spiffy Moms p.o.ed at their breast feeding polices, set a bulls eye on Target stores and hold a "nurse in". We will keep you abreast on the outcome  (huffingtonpost.com) (219)
(The Morning Call) Scary If you recently lost a torso, the Poconos Police Department would like you to claim it  (mcall.com) (41)
(Komo) Dumbass The Seattle Police Department; winning the hearts and minds of the public one kick to the groin at a time  (komonews.com) (123)


Tue December 27, 2011
(Toronto Star) Amusing O'shane Guthrie, 27, faces a total of 13 charges in connection with the incident, including possession of cocaine for the purposes of trafficking, failure to stop for police, and having a ridiculous name  (thestar.com) (59)
(WLKY) Dumbass Police arrest intoxicated man at AA meeting. Dude, you're doing it wrong ... way wrong  (wlky.com) (84)
(NYPost) Sad Six weeks after the Occupy Wall Street crowd was evicted, police still have barricades around Wall Street's famous charging bull statue. "I wanted to get a picture of me riding the bull, so it's really disappointing"  (nypost.com) (91)


Mon December 26, 2011
(ABC) Fail 18-year-old's Facebook status: "Yo dawg, just robbed a store in Pittsburgh. Here's a picture of them loot." *The Pittsburgh Police Department and 4 others like this.*  (abcnews.go.com) (135)


Sun December 25, 2011
(CBS News) News "Nigerian Taliban" church bombings kill dozens  (cbsnews.com) (197)


Fri December 23, 2011
(Coventry Telegraph) Dumbass Man gets two years in prison for selling cocaine while being drunk and dressed as The Incredible Hulk, after police caught him green-handed  (coventrytelegraph.net) (22)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida When you're at a routine traffic stop, it's never a good idea to tell the police 'I'm sorry officer, my gun is digging in my hip', especially if you're a convicted felon  (orlandosentinel.com) (39)


Thu December 22, 2011
(AL.com) Fail Man sent by the Lord to plug in Mayor's Christmas lights held at gunpoint by Mayor until police arrive  (blog.al.com) (28)


Wed December 21, 2011
(The Local (Sweden)) Dumbass Tis the season... for "ingenious robbers caught after police followed their tracks in snow" headlines  (thelocal.se) (13)
(Chicago Tribune) Dumbass Woman who called police to report a home invasion and then said she must have hallucinated it was arrested after police found the source of her hallucinations: heroin  (chicagotribune.com) (39)


Tue December 20, 2011
(Some Guy) Obvious ACLU stops Automatic Licence Plate system that scans and records every licence plate it sees into a database. Just kidding, police have already started using them. Bonus: Automatic search of existing databases regardless of innocence  (ktbs.com) (184)
(WISHTV) Stupid Bank robber: Give me all your money or I'll hot glue you into a Christmas ornament  (wishtv.com) (17)
(Yahoo) Obvious Now it is 1984 / Knock-knock at your front door / It's the suede-denim secret police / They have come to Indonesia  (news.yahoo.com) (31)


Mon December 19, 2011
(WTAM) Misc Police investigating high school vandalism involving "even some images that were pornographic in nature like a painting of a penis"  (wtam.com) (74)
(AOL) Spiffy Police in Texas town handing gift cards to good drivers. Cards easily redeemable at all local businesses, liquor stores, firearms dealers  (autos.aol.com) (104)
(Canada.com) Obvious British lawmakers blame police tactics for severity of August riots. Police outraged, insist they used no tactics whatsoever  (canada.com) (32)
(Yahoo) Sad You can't say that this should end well if it shows no signs of ending  (news.yahoo.com) (43)


Sun December 18, 2011
(Mercury News) Dumbass Police nab jewelry thief who targeted...8-year-old kids  (mercurynews.com) (24)
(Deseret News) Dumbass Couple returns to their car from a busy day of shoplifting to discover someone broke in and stole the fruits of their labor, promptly notify police (with mugshots)  (deseretnews.com) (84)


Fri December 16, 2011
(WISHTV) Dumbass Semi truck of Blackberry Playbooks stolen. Police thought about looking for suspects, but figure they'll all be returned once it's realized they don't work  (wishtv.com) (26)
(PennLive) Dumbass It is general rule of thumb that if you are driving drunk, avoid going over someone's flower beds. "He wasn't gardening. He was driving" police said  (pennlive.com) (18)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Driver going 25 over limit, playing with computer, and not wearing seat belt crashes into tree. In other news, there's a job opening in the Delray Beach police department  (sun-sentinel.com) (88)


Thu December 15, 2011
(Yahoo) Scary London Police classify Occupy movement as a Terrorist organization. How long til the US follows?  (uk.news.yahoo.com) (182)
(Oregon Live) Dumbass If police arrest you for assault with a "lightsaber" at Toys R Us, strong with you, the Force is not  (oregonlive.com) (39)
(WXYZ Detroit) PSA Detroit police on the lookout for a thief who stole Bob Seger's iconic guitar. They believe it was someone who LIKED TO ROCK  (wxyz.com) (25)
(Boston Herald) Followup Police defy order to release black box data from politician's wrecked car, saying public would be misled by facts  (bostonherald.com) (160)
(CBC) Obvious Police ask that you please stop Tweeting the exact location of their drunk driving checkstops (specifically, 34th Avenue and 50th Street)  (cbc.ca) (219)
(Yahoo) Unlikely Drew Peterson demanding apology from Illinois State Police, insisting that he didn't kill his fourth wife, she's just 'disappeared without a trace'. Oh sure  (news.yahoo.com) (51)


Wed December 14, 2011
(Oak Creek) Dumbass Stupid: Calling the police to report your escort didn't give back your change. Embarrassing: Finding out "she" is a "he"  (oakcreeknow.com) (74)
(11 Alive) Asinine It apparently needs to be said: Do not give $10,000 in cash to the 'stock broker' you met in a parking lot  (roswell.11alive.com) (51)


Tue December 13, 2011
(Yahoo) Scary Two students were shot and wounded outside Texas middle school. Police suspect nearby hunters but have not determined if they have the correct license for teens  (news.yahoo.com) (151)
(LA Times) Dumbass Chuck E Cheese: Where a kid can shut the hell up and clean the dishes in the back  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (38)


Mon December 12, 2011
(SFGate) Strange 50 tons of corn stolen from moving train. Police to charge culprits with theft, stalking  (sfgate.com) (29)
(BBC) Interesting Police to test 'anti-riot' laser that can temporarily  (bbc.co.uk) (273)


Sun December 11, 2011
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Asinine St Paul police are comfortable with city notification method which has let city keep $515,497 which can be refunded to people whose cars were towed and sold  (startribune.com) (86)
(LA Times) Sad Hate to drone on about the erosion of civil liberties in the U.S. but local police forces are starting to use them  (latimes.com) (222)
(Mirror.co.uk) Scary Visit the Ukraine for the 2012 soccer Euro Cup - come for the cheap beer and hookers, stay for the police beatings and extortion  (mirror.co.uk) (16)


Sat December 10, 2011
(MSNBC) News Pakistan about to get a Whackistan  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com) (263)
(miami new times) Florida Being half naked, drunk, and passed out in the middle of an intersection is no way to finish your duty shift as a police officer  (blogs.miaminewtimes.com) (58)
(The Hill) Fail Lawmaker wants to strip TSA officers of badges. "TSA has essentially allowed its airport screeners to play dress-up by giving them metal badges and police-like uniforms". Also allowed them to play doctor  (thehill.com) (333)


Fri December 09, 2011
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Sleep easy tonight, Florida. Instead of catching murderers the police are cracking down on pizza flyer deliveries  (orlandosentinel.com) (39)
(LA Times) Strange Police say man lived with woman's corpse for months, but have not ruled out possibility he may have only thought he had gone deaf  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (37)
(miami new times) Florida Dressing up at work on Halloween as Dr. Harry Beaver, gynecologist is a funny idea ... unless you work as a police officer in a public high school  (blogs.miaminewtimes.com) (45)


Thu December 08, 2011
(Herald Tribune) Florida School police officer to parents: "Sexting is a new epidemic, and it could be on your child's cell phone." Then he proved it beyond a reasonable doubt with 14 year old. That's above and beyond the call  (heraldtribune.com) (84)
(CBS Baltimore) Stupid Two female Baltimore City Mounted Unit police officers are on leave after allegedly mounting each other in public  (baltimore.cbslocal.com) (128)


Wed December 07, 2011
(Some Ducky Guy) Asinine With all other crime in Lynn, Massachusetts solved, police charge eighty-year-old woman for feeding the ducks  (boston.cbslocal.com) (110)


Tue December 06, 2011
(UPI) Dumbass Men arrested for chucking beer bottles from fifth level of parking garage after one barley misses police officer  (upi.com) (30)
(SFGate) Scary Police: "DROP THE GUN." Guy in ski mask: "We're just filming a movie." Police: TACKLED  (sfgate.com) (119)
(Huffington Post) Florida "Police arrested a woman they said killed her friend and hid her body under a pile of Christmas presents"  (huffingtonpost.com) (32)
(News.com.au) Asinine Fearing for their safety, police are forced to tear clothing from OWS protester and hastily retreat from weeping, underwear clad menace  (news.com.au) (474)
(Some Guy) Amusing Police deploy road spikes during pursuit which reached speeds up to 10 mph  (host.madison.com) (30)


Mon December 05, 2011
(Albany Times Union) Dumbass Man fails to elude police during foot chase. Will respawn at the Los Santos Police Station minus his weapons, $100 and the XBox he was carrying  (timesunion.com) (13)
(Yahoo) Asinine Syria "would like" to stop killing civilians but it's just so hard to quit  (news.yahoo.com) (51)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Three "thieves" get caught stealing toilet paper from restaurant. Police say one suspect kept referring to himself as "The Great Cornholio"  (news.yahoo.com) (32)


Sun December 04, 2011
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida If you grow anything with hydroponics in Florida the police will automatically assume you are growing pot and come kick down your door without a warrant  (tampabay.com) (166)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Police report says a man charged with assault walked up to a woman in a bar and "kissed her and put his tongue down her throat against her will." I'm sure the plan sounded much more smooth and sexy in his head beforehand  (nwfdailynews.com) (41)


Sat December 03, 2011
(TimeFreePress) Fail Sex with minors, snorting crushed pills, storing porn on city owned phones, shooting other officers and running from other law enforcement agencies... just another day in the Cleveland (Tennessee) Police Department  (timesfreepress.com) (55)
(TwinCities.com) Unlikely Police in western South Dakota brought beanbags to a sword fight  (twincities.com) (28)


Fri December 02, 2011
(BBC) Obvious Thirty antique coins turned in after plea from authorities following metal detecting weekend in England. Police would like to thank a Mr. J. Iscariot for his honesty  (bbc.co.uk) (33)
(Some Guy) Asinine Police would like you to please stop being such an ass and calling 911 for no reason  (chicago.cbslocal.com) (22)
(Hartford Courant) Interesting Police say they've shut down a magic mushroom grow-op based on the cash, spores, mason jars, flying monkeys, talking grandfather clocks, giant bejeweled eels, answers to the Ancients' riddles, and cosmic waterfalls they confiscated  (courant.com) (37)
(ABC Action News) Florida Police arrest 29 during a raid on a homeless shelter; take food, literature and first amendment away from occupiers  (abcactionnews.com) (46)
(YouTube) Asinine Record the police on your own property? 75 years in jail. Subsaharan Africa? China? Suprise, it's Illinois, where recording police is a Class 1 felony and carries the same sentence as rape  (youtube.com) (138)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Beating victim: I was attacked because I was gay. Police and bar owner: No, you were attacked because you were a drunk asshat  (wvgazette.com) (52)


Thu December 01, 2011
(LA Times) Asinine Police suddenly and instantly drive protestors out of encampment, then complain about the stuff they left behind that the police would not give them time to take with them when they drove them out with no opportunity to gather the stuff  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (82)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Not news: Man tries to steal car. News: It's a police car. Near Fark: He's already inside the police car. Fark: He can't start it. Total Fark: He has the keys and calls the station for help  (newsnet5.com) (4)
(Miami Herald) Florida Police officer and department office manager attempt to get rid of budget-slashing city official using Santerian birdseed ritual, are instead turned in by their accomplice the janitor. Can you guess the state without looking at the tag?  (miamiherald.com) (13)
(Austin News KXAN) Strange "Police said when they arrived, they found the alleged victim covered in grease and macaroni"  (kxan.com) (35)


Wed November 30, 2011
(Yahoo) Interesting Syria hit with Turkey trade embargo which would have been more effective BEFORE Thanksgiving  (news.yahoo.com) (5)
(Some Lapp Dancing Guy) Ironic Maija the traffic safety reindeer killed in traffic accident. Memorial services will be held next week. The Police are asking the public to bring their own mashed potatoes and lingonberry sauce  (hs.fi) (13)


Tue November 29, 2011
(Austin News KXAN) Sick ProTip for Mom: You cannot burn off your son's tattoo and if you try the police are going to be very interested  (kxan.com) (85)
(BBC) Followup Hostage returns home after 12 years captive. No stupid Farc jokes here, just an interesting story  (bbc.co.uk) (18)
(Some Guy On The Run) Hero Over 20 shots fired in a police shoot out. No one was hit, and the shooters got away. Here's the dashcam video of the exchange  (wsbtv.com) (110)
(BBC) Ironic Retired Seattle police chief Norm Stamper - who led the 1999 WTO Battle for Seattle - says that police responses to the Occupy protests is too heavy handed, blames the militarization of local police by Homeland Security  (bbc.co.uk) (105)
(WFSB Rocky Hill) Weird Woman steals ornaments at craft fair, uses ornament to stab pursuer while fleeing police. I'm dreaming of a White Trash Christmas  (wfsb.com) (32)


Mon November 28, 2011
(CNN) Followup Police have discovered the bodies of three men in Ohio believed to have been murdered after answering job ads on Craigslist  (cnn.com) (49)


Sun November 27, 2011
(Some Guy) Stupid Police bust man at sobriety checkpoint. Not for driving drunk, but for having untaxed cigarettes in his car. The free world will sleep safer tonight  (syracuse.com) (140)
(KnoxNews) Scary Tennessee constables don't have ticket quotas. Instead they work on commission, $20 to $40 per ticket  (knoxnews.com) (107)


Sat November 26, 2011
(Some Guy) Interesting Police superintendent whose force ran radar speed trap is outraged after judge enforces Pennsylvania law banning local police from using radar  (delcotimes.com) (75)


Fri November 25, 2011
(Huffington Post) Sad Police depts aren't interested in solving violent crimes. There's no money to be made. But shaking down people on the street for a joint in their pocket brings dividends  (huffingtonpost.com) (115)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Tampa police prepare for the anarchist invasion as Republican National Convention comes to town. No, really  (tampabay.com) (66)


Wed November 23, 2011
(CFRA) Obvious Occupy Ottawa demonstration broken up by Canadian police in unspeakable orgy of violence: Eight people received tickets, one was helped to hospital and three others had their feelings temporarily hurt  (cfra.com) (167)
(Boston Herald) Stupid Police investigating 1990 art theft don't find what they are looking for, so they trash some guy's place and steal his old postcards  (bostonherald.com) (69)


Tue November 22, 2011
(The Raw Story) Sad How is babby miscarried? By pepper spray and kicks to the belly by Seattle police at Occupy protest  (rawstory.com) (707)
(Yahoo) Dumbass If you left a suitcase with $1 million in a restaurant in Sydney, the police would like a word with you. The people you were supposed to give it to would like to give you something, too  (news.yahoo.com) (27)
(Yahoo) Followup Police re-opened the Natalie Wood investigation because a totally credible witness who just happens not to have said anything to anyone for more than 20 years, says she heard Woods screaming for help on the night she died  (news.yahoo.com) (44)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Mississippi man steals car, wrecks it, steals another, wrecks it, attempts to steal two more and finishes by scuffling with police. Fark: All while sucking on a pacifier  (clarionledger.com) (33)


Mon November 21, 2011
(The New York Times) Followup UC Davis suspends Police Chief in pepper spray incident, three days after two campus police officers sprayed SEATED protesters during an OWS demonstration  (nytimes.com) (527)
(Some Guy) Florida Police: "A few dozen peaceful protesters? ROLL OUT THE TANK"  (thedaily.com) (510)


Sun November 20, 2011
(YouTube) Amusing Adorable dog plays with NYPD police horse on Wall Street  (youtube.com) (31)


Sat November 19, 2011
(Huffington Post) Hero Police officer bravely pepper sprays 20 violent student protesters at UC Davis. Thank goodness he saved us all  (huffingtonpost.com) (756)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Not news: Man arrested and shoved to the ground by cops at Occupy Wall St. after protesting use of police force. News: He's a retired Philadelphia police captain in full uniform  (dailymail.co.uk) (550)


Fri November 18, 2011
(Some Guy) Sad Father of the Year candidate leaves 13-year-old daughter holding 50 bags of crack as he escapes from police  (nbcphiladelphia.com) (38)
(Quad City Times) Fail "We need more money for the city." "Hmm. Maybe we should disband the police force." "MORTIMER YOU'RE A GENIUS"  (qctimes.com) (46)
(LA Times) Sick Colleagues say that casting director really had a great feel for working with children. Police say that's precisely the problem  (latimes.com) (59)
(Huffington Post) Silly "Occupy Wall Street vs The Empire." Yes, it's a video where the police are using lightsabers and the Occupiers are supposed to be the Rebellion  (huffingtonpost.com) (10)
(BBC) Fail Woman has been fighting to clear her fiancee's name. He's just shown police where he buried the body of his wife. Awkward  (bbc.co.uk) (73)


Thu November 17, 2011
(ESPN) Sick Long time assistant coach at major university being investigated for child molestation. No, not that one  (espn.go.com) (75)
(My Fox DC) Amusing Man wearing 'I'm A Drunk' shirt hits police car while driving drunk. Ric Romero investigates  (myfoxdc.com) (22)
(News.com.au) Interesting Police find six tons of marijuana in a cross border tunnel, and another three tons in a truck. All eighteen tons have been confiscated. Wait, that's not how the meme goes... Are they F-ing high?  (news.com.au) (94)
(Some Guy) Sad Semi full of beer flips on the interstate. Eight fire trucks, twenty-six police cruisers, four ambulances, two local construction crews, five local newstations, and several hundred commuters show up to help clean up the crash  (kcci.com) (93)
(CBS News) Followup McQueary: "I spoke with the Police". Campus and State Police: "Yeah, about that"  (cbsnews.com) (170)


Wed November 16, 2011
(Some Guy) Sad Not news: Couple busted for having marijuana. Kinda news: Police tipped off by secret photos of stash. FARK: Photos were taken by their sick-of-pot-smoke 11-year-old son  (duluthnewstribune.com) (341)
(Some Guy) Fail Handcuffed woman gives cops the slip. Twice  (saljournal.com) (19)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Police arrrest Chinese mine boss after he fakes being trapped. Cops afraid that after a quick release he may go underground  (dailymail.co.uk) (6)


Tue November 15, 2011
(The Atlantic) Asinine Reporter: Hi, I'm a reporter, this is my press pass, and I'm here to cover OWS. Police: You are under arrest for defying the media blackout *whack, whack, whack, whack* (with video)  (theatlantic.com) (360)
(Yahoo) Interesting Crime novelist says he has uncovered evidence that Jane Austen may have been murdered. Police are now looking for a high-school English student with access to a time machine  (news.yahoo.com) (93)
(Some Guy) Dumbass If your wife received two gunshot wounds because you were "cleaning your gun" the police might have a problem with that  (wmur.com) (80)
(Some Guy) Scary Virginia man is determined not to be browbeaten into copping to sexual assault charges, insisting the whole story is cockeyemamie. (w/ pic that demands admittance into the Fark mugshot pantheon)  (wtvr.com) (54)


Mon November 14, 2011
(The Missoulian) Scary Actual quote from daycare owner turned child molester to police: she was "4 going on 40"  (missoulian.com) (155)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Dumbass Once again, a poor decision to brand oneself with a tattoo leads police to a quick, tidy arrest  (suntimes.com) (64)


Sun November 13, 2011
(Yahoo) Dumbass When making up a story for police about how your toddler went missing; make sure it's not exactly like the plot of a "Law and Order" episode. Particularly not the one that aired the night before your baby went "missing"  (news.yahoo.com) (77)
(Yahoo) Interesting Brazilian police take over Rio's biggest slum. Must be one really big ass place  (news.yahoo.com) (32)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Swedish police rescue man stuck in locker. What a meatball  (news.com.au) (14)


Sat November 12, 2011
(Canoe) Obvious "Police suspect double murder in two fire deaths." That's some good math work, Lou  (cnews.canoe.ca) (33)
(Fox News) Scary Police fear OWS protesters may be arming themselves for battle. With pic of what an armed OWS protester may look like  (foxnews.com) (594)


Fri November 11, 2011
(Connecticut Post) PSA Police seek Dunkin' Donuts robber. Here's the hole story  (ctpost.com) (13)
(Deadspin) Interesting Penn state attorney who reviewed the 1998 allegations against Jerry Sandusky also happened to represent the Second Mile at the time. Huh. That was convenient  (deadspin.com) (624)
(WTSP Tampa Bay) Florida Woman attacks a school bus driver because he won't let her ride the bus with students, later gets into altercation with police which she attempts to win by pulling down her underwear. With mugshot you can add to your collection  (wtsp.com) (41)
(Some Guy) Amusing Police use the promise of free beer to capture suspects during Operation Dirty Goddamn Trick  (news.sky.com) (49)
(MSNBC) Interesting Syrian troops learn a little military lesson called "Custer's Last Stand" when the protesters fight back  (msnbc.msn.com) (97)
(Denver Post) Strange Police: What was the robbery suspect wearing? Witness: He was wearing a pair of socks. Police: Okay, what else? Witness: Ummmm  (denverpost.com) (5)
(gold coast) Strange Australian police search for topless woman driving erratically, causing accidents. Dozens of cops hoping to be in on the bust  (goldcoast.com.au) (15)


Thu November 10, 2011
(Some Hippie) Scary UC Berkeley students protesting tuition increases receive support from police. By "support," I mean "strikes" and by "police," I mean batons  (sfist.com) (124)
(AZCentral) Interesting Police hope to catch the prick that stole 200 barrel cactus  (azcentral.com) (41)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Police use thermal imaging to capture suspect utilizing the old "hide in a pile of leaves with my meth" trick  (610wiod.com) (28)
(Reuters) Interesting Korea grounds all jets, delays stock market opening, orders police escorts, encourages extra prayer sessions. Yes... it's annual college exam time  (af.reuters.com) (14)


Wed November 09, 2011
(Some Guy) Dumbass Not news: Occupy Denver elects a leader to communicate with police and city officials. News: She's a dog. Fark: An actual four-legged canine dog  (wp.koaa.com) (294)
(Canada.com) Spiffy French police dog given medal for bravery and dedication for continually locating marijuana even though his handlers never let him smoke it afterward  (canada.com) (27)


Tue November 08, 2011
(Think Progress) Hero Occupy Atlanta proves that the police are part of the 99%  (thinkprogress.org) (152)
(Fox News) Dumbass HOLY CRAP It's the police. Get the lion in the car  (foxnews.com) (11)
(BBC) Amusing Police find 19 prostitutes and 100 fighting cocks in Mexican jail. Naturally  (bbc.co.uk) (18)


Mon November 07, 2011
(Boing Boing) Fail Police shoot First Amendment in the kneecap at Occupy Oakland, for no ostensible reason  (boingboing.net) (121)
(Some Guy) Hero When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep, like this guy. Not screaming like the hooker in the passenger's seat  (detroit.cbslocal.com) (43)
(NJ.com) Dumbass If you're going to give a fake name to police to avoid outstanding warrants, make sure you actually have outstanding warrants to avoid  (nj.com) (20)
(Short List) Cool "For $25,000, a 2054 model red Lexus, going once, going twice, sold to the PreCrime police captain in the corner"  (shortlist.com) (40)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Mother arrested after hiding crystal meth in daughter's diaper bag, tells police it's a bum wrap  (tampabay.com) (26)


Sun November 06, 2011
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Interesting Five nerds charged in candy stealing spree. They thought they could make a fast break, but police are reserving a special dark place for them in jail  (ajc.com) (36)


Sat November 05, 2011
(Boston Herald) Obvious Police see no need to check data recorder from car wrecked by politician in early morning accident  (bostonherald.com) (76)
(Yahoo) Scary Oakland Police put another Vet into intensive care  (news.yahoo.com) (618)


Fri November 04, 2011
(Kansas City) Amusing Bad idea: hiring actors to play "Taliban" giving up their arms, to impress the U.S. ambassador. Fark: forgetting to tell U.S. security  (kansascity.com) (13)
(Some Puzzled Guy) Strange "Very powerful" unknown force crushes a whole block full of cars in Washington DC. Nobody heard anything and the police don't know anything about it  (wusa9.com) (243)
(Canada.com) Sad Police release graphic, bloody photo of dead teen from before she was attacked  (canada.com) (92)


Thu November 03, 2011
(Boing Boing) Fail Twin Rivers police stops selling T-shirt showing child behind bars along with "U Raise 'Em, We Cage 'Em" text. Subby is offended: "tase" would have been a much better rhyme than "cage"  (boingboing.net) (120)
(AL.com) Dumbass It's never a good idea to use your Facebook status update to threaten blow up the police department, but it's an especially bad idea if you also collect child pornography  (mobile.al.com) (78)
(UPI) Interesting Riot police: "What's the matter, Kiev protesters? CHICKEN?"  (upi.com) (30)
(CBC) Obvious Man leads Canadian cops in five-hour pursuit where "neither the truck driver nor police broke highway speed limits"  (cbc.ca) (33)


Wed November 02, 2011
(azfamily.com) Spiffy You know you've got a true friend if he's willing to commit robbery to pay for your bail  (azfamily.com) (10)
(Some Bubba) Followup Autopsy reveals that NFL legend and "Police Academy" star Bubba Smith died from drug intoxication. Co-star Michael Winslow makes a sad slide whistle noise  (digitalspy.com) (11)
(YouTube) Video When you're a federal police officer and your suspects are seconds from escaping in an airplane, maybe it's time to admit defeat. Unless you're Brazilian. Then you just ram the airplane  (youtube.com) (46)
(Some Guy) Dumbass "OnStar, how may I help you?" "I've just been in an accident and police are chasing me." "Sir, I've been giving the police directions so they can find you. You should pull over"  (timesunion.com) (100)
(USA Today) Obvious The Oakland Police's near-fatal wounding of Scott Olsen opened the floodgates of veterans coming out to support OWS, send conservatives scrambling for ways to smear soldiers  (usatoday.com) (475)


Tue November 01, 2011
(Some Guy) Scary Victim in DUI crash with Seattle Police Officer amazed he's still alive, glad officer was too drunk to find his gun  (kirotv.com) (122)
(SF Examiner) Asinine The Oakland Information Ministry is happy to report that whoever fired the tear gas cannister at the now critically injured former Marine, it was almost certainly not the police  (sfexaminer.com) (263)
(Patch.com) Sad Yes, that is a dump truck full of weed seized by police. Yes it is  (greenfield.patch.com) (77)


Mon October 31, 2011
(SanDiegoUnionTribune) Amusing When superheroes go bad; police arrest The Shoveler  (signonsandiego.com) (24)
(Some Guy) Stupid You know the economy is farked when the police say they'll stop responding to 911 calls if town leaders don't provide more gas money  (wtkr.com) (83)
(ESPN) Followup CC Sabathia sits on Yankees offer. Offer suffocates to death. CC Sabathia on the run from police  (espn.go.com) (28)
(TC Palm) Florida Police ignore blonde woman's bumper sticker that reads, "If this van's a rockin,' don't come a knockin.'" With I'd hit it photo  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (93)


Sun October 30, 2011
(Telegraph) Scary London Police have a secret fleet of surveillance aircraft  (telegraph.co.uk) (77)
(Kansas.com) Sad Grain elevator explodes in Kansas, killing three. Police believe it's the work of a cereal killer  (kansas.com) (46)


Sat October 29, 2011
(News 14 Carolina) Asinine "I can't think of any circumstance or anything that would make me call the police and tell them that I've got a dead female in my bed"  (triad.news14.com) (38)


Fri October 28, 2011
(Mediabistro) Followup A band of Marine brothers storm Reddit to voice their anger at the life-threatening injury inflicted by Oakland police on their brother, 24-year-old Iraqi war veteran Scott Olsen  (mediabistro.com) (919)


Thu October 27, 2011
(Boing Boing) Followup Iraq veteran injured by police at Occupy Oakland still in medically-induced coma. Article with link to donation page to help cover Olsen's medical expenses. He did what he could for the 99% - now it's our turn, Farkers  (boingboing.net) (751)
(WPXI) Obvious The police would like to remind you that Halloween is coming up and the guns those little kids are carrying just might be toys, so please don't blow them away. Thank you  (wpxi.com) (74)
(WBALTV) Dumbass Student goes to principal to express he's been having suicidal thoughts. Principal has student's belongings searched, finds gun. Police arrest student. Problem solved  (wbaltv.com) (76)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Lindsay Lohan's father arrested after being freed by police. This is not a repeat from two days ago  (tampabay.com) (45)
(The New York Times) Asinine Oakland Police fracture an Iraq War Vet's skull with non-lethal projectile, proceed to throw flashbang grenades at group of protestors who rush to help him  (thelede.blogs.nytimes.com) (lots)
(Stuff.co.nz) Sad If the father of your unborn child crashes into a liquor store while trying to evade police, and runs off leaving you stuck in the car - you may have made some bad life choices  (stuff.co.nz) (29)


Wed October 26, 2011
(Some Guy) Amusing Ohio police arrest woman wearing nothing but fishnet stockings, g-string panties and a pair of high heels after a harrowing 128 mph high-speed police chase. Sounds like Subby's kind of woman, crazy, almost naked and fast  (cleveland.cbslocal.com) (102)
(NJ.com) Strange Man wakes up with pants on fire, although police doubt his story  (nj.com) (24)
(Omaha World Herald) Sick Police find children in kennel. The kids were initially very rowdy but calmed down when police threatened to get out the paper  (omaha.com) (52)
(This Is Plymouth) Sad Not news: Young people running up gambling debts. News: Police fear they could be forced into shoplifting and street-fighting. Fark: Gamblers are aged five, playing marbles  (thisisplymouth.co.uk) (43)
(The Register) Interesting Google/Youtube take down request by country: UK wanted to ban Jihadist, Germany Nazis, US wanted videos of police brutality removed, Japan didn't want to have remove anything and China is a state-secret  (theregister.co.uk) (51)
(Ben Dover) Amusing Sheriff Mike Hunt is warning residents against solicitation phone calls. "Police advise to hang up immediately and report the call to the sheriff's office" said Deputy Amanda Hugginkiss  (aikenstandard.com) (54)


Tue October 25, 2011
(Some Guy) Florida When do you know it's time to switch from huffing Ultra-Duster to a lighter inhalant: The stolen '90 Camry? The police lights in its rearview? The feces?  (naplesnews.com) (25)
(WTMJ) Spiffy Lord Voldemort nearly dies in Wisconsin  (todaystmj4.com) (53)
(NYPost) Fail On the bright side, at least 4 out of 12 gun smugglers are NOT New York City police officers  (nypost.com) (35)
(Chico Enterprise-Record) Strange Parolee with an ankle bracelet on walks into police station and asks to be arrested. And then it gets weird  (chicoer.com) (23)


Mon October 24, 2011
(Some Guy) Dumbass Man reports UFO to police and points out that he isn't drunk or crazy, just concerned "it might be aliens or something"   (fairfieldcitizenonline.com) (32)
(The Newspaper) Obvious One third of people stopped paying tickets in Los Angeles County after police commissioner said paying red light camera tickets was voluntary  (thenewspaper.com) (41)


Sun October 23, 2011
(Telegram) Sappy Police aid broken down owl parked on shoulder of Mass Pike  (telegram.com) (27)


Sat October 22, 2011
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Dumbass Police employee tries to trick department out of money: "I made a huge mistake." A trick is something a whore does for money  (ajc.com) (31)
(Spiegel) Interesting A country whose budget is balanced, where politicians aren't corrupt, where you can trust the police? If you guessed Estonia, you were right  (spiegel.de) (80)


Fri October 21, 2011
(Quad City Times) Followup Police have arrested five teenagers for throwing pumpkins off a bridge earlier this month. They believe the five were bored out of their gourd  (qctimes.com) (30)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Interesting Minneapolis police investigate fraud claims at Roto-Rooter. Determined officers vow they'll get to the bottom of this shiat  (startribune.com) (21)
(Some Guy) Followup CopTip: After pulling over women for driving infractions, telling them you can "work something out", and fondling them in a 7-11 bathroom, don't keep the panties. In your locker. At the police station  (610wiod.com) (87)
(Charleston Gazette) Amusing Police go digging when they believe murder weapon is buried under suspect's home, . . starting at the roof. (w/ demodularized photo goodness)  (wvgazette.com) (61)
(WLBZ.com) Followup Maine man charged with stealing a purple monkey. Police have still not located the dishwasher  (wlbz2.com) (32)
(Some Guy) Obvious Man in Bush mask robs bank. Police know it wasn't the real President because this person devised a successful exit strategy  (king5.com) (109)


Thu October 20, 2011
(Clarion Ledger) Dumbass Police officer tried to ignore the woman who called him to sell drugs, but man, she just wouldn't stop calling  (clarionledger.com) (35)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Dumbass Flawless plan to extort money from local business reads like something from an episode of Scooby Doo: "police suddenly saw the bucket begin to move and watched it go from the field into nearby woods"  (news.cincinnati.com) (54)
(News 95.7) Amusing Police seek help finding Shriners' ATVs. Suspect described as a 70-80 year old male last seen wearing a red tasseled hat  (news957.com) (45)
(Some Guy) Weird Naked man arrested for possession of cocaine after police chase. Article does not state where he was possessing it  (610wiod.com) (19)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Serial rapist on the loose in Florida. Police: "We don't know what he's going to do next." I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess rape  (sun-sentinel.com) (78)
(Springfield Republican) Strange Police taser naked man at wedding after nobody wants to wrestle him to the ground  (masslive.com) (18)


Wed October 19, 2011
(Des Moines Register) Followup Police have found the man responsible for stealing hundreds of pigs from Iowa farms over the past few months. Some people will do anything for bacon  (desmoinesregister.com) (33)
(Some Guy) Fail Dear Customer, Thank you for quietly notifying us of a glaring security flaw in our website. Please accept this complimentary gift basket containing a police visit, blame for the issue, a bill for fixing it and termination of your account  (techdirt.com) (86)
(Oregon Live) Dumbass Hey Mr. Policeman, check out my UHH OHHHHH why are you arresting me? I'M ONE OF THE 420%  (oregonlive.com) (71)
(CNN) Interesting Old and Busted: Al Qaeda Network. New Hotness: Haqqani Network  (edition.cnn.com) (34)


Tue October 18, 2011
(SeattlePI) Followup Police say they've caught the jerk who has been masturbating in public around Seattle  (seattlepi.com) (58)
(Some cop caller) Dumbass Protip: If your cocaine and pot get stolen, the police are not there to help you  (wtsp.com) (10)
(Some Guy) Obvious If you lost a couple of boulders on I-91 the other day. The VT State police has them and you can pick them up. Also, they have a few questions  (wcax.com) (40)
(WXYZ Detroit) Sad Police: "Why is the nine-year-old driving?" Dad: "Because she's sober"  (wxyz.com) (48)


Mon October 17, 2011
(Some Guy) Weird Man busted for shooting bb-gun at police, having weirdest nipples ever  (dc101.com) (33)


Sat October 15, 2011
(I Heart Chaos) Amusing Occupy protests make it to Toronto, where a good natured water gun fight erupted between protesters and police, soaking dozens. This is why the terrorists hate Canada  (iheartchaos.com) (103)
(KnoxNews) Interesting Speed camera company may have violated Fair Debt Collections Act, according to $6 million class action suit  (knoxnews.com) (64)

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