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124 headlines found matching 'pleas'
Thu July 24, 2014
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(NPR)
 
 
 
Hey, Western Civilization: Now that we've legalized same sex-marriage and are decriminalizing pot and society has not imploded, can we please address the illegality of prostitution? Thanks in advance, Everyone
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Please note: there are several useful things one can say when running into a convenience store while billowing smoke and flames, but "I'm on fire" is really just stating the obvious
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 


Sat July 19, 2014
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Attention students of Franklin College: Please stop painting the iconic Ben Franklin statue to look like he's a Colts fan, Superman, or wearing women's underwear
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 


Fri July 18, 2014
(Fortune)
 
Plug
 
Analysts offer no apologies for missing Apple's Q2 2014 earnings (Featured Partner)
 
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
"Hello, room service? Six pounds of pot, please"
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 


Thu July 17, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In this month's issue of Al-Q: How to blow up the US Open. Also, 10 ways to please your 72 Virgins and the latest hijab fashions
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Joystiq)
 
 
 
Xbox One sales doubled from May to June after the debut of the kinect-less SKU. Both consumers are pleased with their purchase
source: joystiq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
A collection of cool DIY upgrades that will make your home look more expensive. Except the refrigerator. Please don't do that. Ever
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 


Tue July 15, 2014
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
US patent office tells Apple they can't patent a fingerprint sensor just because they don't want anyone else to have a more pleasant UX. In other news, Android phones soon to come with a fingerprint sensor that's worth having
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Fark)
 
Plug
 
Totalfark: Our alcohol budget rivals a Third World country's GDP
 
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
North Carolina GOPer would like you guys to please mansplain what's going on in politics. (Giggle. Flips hair.)
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 


Sat July 12, 2014
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Google realizes that idiotic questions like the number of golf balls to fill up a bus, the number of windows in the skyscrapers of your locale, and how much wood could a wood chuck chuck are a waste of time. Interviewers, please take note
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Time)
 
 
 
"Dear Tracy Morgan, we are really, really, really, REALLY sorry one of our trucks killed your friend and almost killed you. Please be gentle." Signed - Walmart, soon to be known as Tracymart
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(183)
 


Fri July 11, 2014
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
Dear Ms. Phillips, Happy belated 98th birthday and thanks for being our tenant for 50 years. Please vacate the property in 30 days. Best wishes, The Management
source: news.kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 


Wed July 09, 2014
(KIRO TV)
 
 
 
If you donated human skulls to the Goodwill in Bellevue, Washington, please call the medical examiner. You won't get in any trouble. Promise
source: kirotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
The National Geographic Channel has finally developed a show targeted at red-blooded Americans that will deal exclusively with two of life's greatest pleasures: meat and booze
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 


Fri July 04, 2014
(Contact Music)
 
 
 
Want to book Prince for a private function? Yeah that'll bet two million bucks please
source: contactmusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 


Thu July 03, 2014
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Lee Boyd Malvo, the DC sniper, believes that he's learned some important lessons about not using human beings as target practice and would like to be let out of prison now, please
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(233)
 


Sat June 28, 2014
(Metro)
 
 
 
Please brace yourself for the popping kitty, for he will surely make your head assplode with cuteness
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 


Fri June 27, 2014
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
People of the world who benefited from the sacrifices of this WW II D-day veterans courage, if you're close by, go to his funeral, please. Somebody?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(The Blaze)
 
 
 
Mexican military helicopter crossed into Arizona and shot at U.S. Border Patrol agents. General Pershing to the white courtesy phone, please
source: theblaze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 


Thu June 26, 2014
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
When suing for compensation from a crippling car accident, please try to limit your 5k races. And 10k. And half marathons. And marathons
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 


Wed June 25, 2014
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Oh hai, don't mind this drone outside your window. Just please continue doing what you normally do. Like brush your teeth, get undressed, fondle your naughty bits. You know, just act natural
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 


Tue June 24, 2014
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
The restaurant where you want to eat won't let your wife bring her dog inside. To show your displeasure with the policy, do you: A) take your business elsewhere, B) give it a poor review on Yelp, or C) drive your car into the restaurant?
source: forums.asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 


Mon June 23, 2014
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Dear ESPN: Please turn off the open microphone when Elvis Andrus is on base. Sincerely, The FCC (language Not safe for work)
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 


Sun June 22, 2014
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Congresswoman proposes e-cigarette legislation to please her Big Tobacco masters
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 


Wed June 18, 2014
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Eight ways to make your morning more pleasant and productive. This list can't be right because it says nothing about drinking a bloody mary to take the edge off of the previous night's activities
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
"The return of the GOP hawks" Oh please, like they ever farking left. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a tv showing McCain or Graham begging for military intervention because they're tired of getting blue-balled
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 


Tue June 17, 2014
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
If you find out that you bought a dog that was given away without a soldier's knowledge while he was deployed, should you: a) give it back to him, b) sell it back to him, or c) ignore his pleas and keep it?
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(180)
 


Mon June 16, 2014
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
How dare you hypersexualize and objectify these athletes. Oh, it's about men? Please proceed
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 


Sat June 14, 2014
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Chicago man charged for driving around on a beautiful summer's evening with: (A) his music playing too loud, (B) his muffler dragging on the pavement, (C) his pants off, (D) him pleasuring himself. (Choose two)
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Do animals have sex for pleasure? (Their pleasure, not the researchers')
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 


Fri June 13, 2014
(My Fox Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Thank you for calling 911. Please leave a message and a representative will collect your corpse as soon as possible
source: myfoxtampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Graduates of a high school are questioning whether the school board president's speech at their commencement was really a political forum. Whether it is or not discuss to your right, please, and bring the popcorn
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 


Thu June 12, 2014
(The Local)
 
 
 
"Excuse me sir, you've been speeding. Please step out of the vehicle so we can steal it"
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 


Wed June 11, 2014
(WTOP)
 
 
 
My name it Eric Olaniyan. Much nice vehicle you have there. I am willing to pay top dollar in gold for your vehicle. Please contact me at freestolenvehicles shippedtoafrica .com
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 


Tue June 10, 2014
(MMA Frenzy)
 
 
 
Sonnen is out of UFC 175 due to drug test issues, after Wanderlei is out due to drug test issues. UFC drug test single-card single-fight trifecta in play; Vitor Belfort, please pick up the white courtesy phone
source: mmafrenzy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
If you left a Lamborghini on fire in New Jersey, please come and sit in it before the police ticket it for being unoccupied
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Ocala Star-Banner)
 
 
 
Attention people of Florida: Please stop mailing unmarked envelopes filled with artificial sweetener to the local schools and courthouses. They're making some of us nervous. Thank you
source: ocala.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
Drunken businessman wearing lederhosen chews the ear off a former World's Strongest Man finalist at Oktoberfest event in Scotland. "The night finished up with someone biting my ear off. It wasn't entirely pleasant"
source: news.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 


Thu June 05, 2014
(Some Pollster)
 
 
 
Gallup poll confirms everyone's political insults: Republicans hidebound, slow to change, Democrats becoming sleazier every day. Everyone should be pleased
source: freedomoutpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 


Wed June 04, 2014
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Do you know how much pleasure you are losing by not smoking? Potably not
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 


Tue June 03, 2014
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
Airline travel tip: If you want to arrive at your destination on time, please don't charge the cockpit
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
For those of you who still don't believe in global warming please explain why this cliff in Antarctica just keeps spewing blood
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 


Sun June 01, 2014
(Poynter Institute)
 
 
 
One year ago, The Chicago Sun-Times fired 28 staff photographers and told the reporters to take pictures with their iPhones. Let's see what happened to those photographers. Next please let's compare the past year's photos with the shots taken by pros
source: poynter.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 


Sat May 31, 2014
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Dear Texas, please stop putting all your illegal immigrants onto buses bound for Phoenix. Thanks, Arizona
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 


Fri May 30, 2014
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
"You are two miles from your destination." "You are one mile from your destination." "You are 500 feet from your destination" *Drives into river* "Please make a u-turn"
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 


Thu May 29, 2014
(Wired)
 
 
 
Hello Senator I am Asad, I mean Bob, yes Bob, from the New Yurk Times. Can you please give me quote about email addresses and passwords you use? This is totally legit story so don't worry
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Please put Glenn Beck in a dumpster and then put that dumpster in a dumpster
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(182)
 


Wed May 28, 2014
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
It has been 125 years since the Great Johnstown Flood. Nobody that remembers it is still alive but your own flood stories to the right, please
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 


Tue May 27, 2014
(ABA Journal)
 
 
 
Fruitcakin' ain't easy but it makes good money
source: abajournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(7)
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
Oh, won't somebody please think of the poor CEOs who now have to struggle with eight-figure salaries?
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(Dose (Canada))
 
 
 
Ma'am, can I ask you to please stop waggling the penis plant?
source: dose.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Utah judge: I am altering this 16 year old's plea deal from 180 days in jail to 15 years in state prison. Pray I don't alter it any further
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(369)
 
(Consequence of Sound)
 
 
 
Will the artist with the greatest vocal range please step forward. Not so fast, Axl Rose
source: consequenceofsound.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 


Sun May 25, 2014
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Ten restaurants Fark foodies love to hate. Deslided for your questionable viewing pleasure
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(173)
 


Sat May 24, 2014
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Patrons of trendy Brooklyn bar pleased that owner has banned yuppie stroller moms who attempted to take over place with their rowdy rugrats. "Kids shouldn't be running around where people are trying to drink and hook up"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(241)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Farker cry for help: my 11yo daughter in a 10-11yo basketball league, got the snot beat out of her by a couple 13-year-olds in her league during a game. Please help me force this league to address the situation in some way
source: meagainstyou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Which vocalist has the greatest range? Elvis? Mariah? The answer will bring you to your sha na na na knees, please
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Human-resource managers: Did you graduate with a liberal arts degree? Next candidate, please
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 


Fri May 23, 2014
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Speeding tickets can cost you what the fine says, or you can just give the judge some XXX films and lobster bisque
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
"Officer, please rescue me--I've locked myself in the women's prison"
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 


Wed May 21, 2014
(NPR)
 
 
 
Niger pleas for aid after two car bombs kill 100, injure dozens more
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 


Tue May 20, 2014
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Want to see your kids graduate high school? That'll be $20 please. Oh, and we have some premium seats for sale for $200 if you're interested
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
School cancels special night for honors students so that the future middle management of America doesn't get sad. Please grab a participation trophy on your way out
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(213)
 
(NBA)
 
 
 
It's your official NBA Game 2 Eastern Conference Finals discussion thread. Predictions to the right, highlights from Game 1 Pacer's stomp to the left. Will the real Heat please stand up? Stand up? Stand Up?
source: nba.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(421)
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
The most hated cable company in America is _______. Please answer between 9 and 12, or 1 and 5
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Credit Suisse fined $2.5B and all the hot cocoa for helping rich Americans set up offshore bank accounts to dodge taxes
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Chipotle tells customers: "please don't bring guns to our stores"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(349)
 


Mon May 19, 2014
(Bennington Banner)
 
 
 
Yoopers is now a real word with its own dictionary entry, and the yoopers couldn't be more pleased. "The word is fun to say and has a fun origin, from U.P. It's just the kind of word that many people are likely to hear and remember"
source: benningtonbanner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 


Fri May 16, 2014
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
GM to employees: Please don't use words like "asphyxiating," "deathtrap," "disemboweling," "genocide," "grenadelike," "Hindenburg," "powder keg," "rolling sarcophagus," "Titanic," and "you're toast"
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
So, anyone who thought Sterling was actually going to pay the $2.5 million fine assessed by the NBA please raise your hand. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
source: sportsillustrated.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 


Wed May 14, 2014
(Vice)
 
 
 
Please step forward if you have a job that will not be taken over by robots. Not so fast, musicians
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 


Tue May 13, 2014
(Facebook)
 
 
 
Subby here. My 83-year-old Dad is going in for heart surgery tomorrow morning. Probably routine, but I am scared out of my gourd. He loves good jokes. I am at a loss, please help me with some good jokes I can tell him tonight
source: facebook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(362)
 


Mon May 12, 2014
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Attention pot smokers: Please stop stealing the LED lights from my luxury cars so you can grow your demon weed
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
El Niño, which means "the niño," to once again interrupt our recent trend of predictable, pleasant weather
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Playing through, just step over the caddie to get to the tenth hole. Five iron please
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 


Sun May 11, 2014
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Johnson offers up Swallow, judge issues gag order. Sometimes the headlines write themselves
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 


Fri May 09, 2014
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
IOC realizes having Rio host the Olympics in two years is shaping up to be a brasillion-dollar clusterfark, asks London what they're doing in 2016
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Death and Taxes Magazine)
 
 
 
A TV channel exclusively devoted to "Cosmos" reruns? Yes please
source: deathandtaxesmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 


Tue May 06, 2014
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Hillary shouldn't run because she'll be a grandmother by then and isn't that so much more pleasant than being the first woman President?
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
So it turns out that Rob Ford didn't actually go to rehab and nobody knows where he is hiding. If everyone could please check your local bus stations and under your highway overpasses the city of Toronto would be very grateful
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 


Mon May 05, 2014
(People Style Watch)
 
 
 
Hillary Duff says the secret to her flawless, glowing skin is a rather unconventional ingredient. It is organic, ladies, and I promise while it sounds weird, just give it a shot. C'mon. Just once. For me. Please
source: stylenews.peoplestylewatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Will the owners of a not-so-secret arms cache in Texas please come to the front desk. These officers would like a word and...hold on, there's a knock on our door
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 


Thu May 01, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Sure the Crips and the Bloods are dangerous but you really got to keep an eye out for gangs like the Very Crispy Gangsters and Cash Bama Bullies
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you had "heroin overdose" as the cause of Peaches Geldof's demise, come collect your prize. Please be patient as there is a metric farkton of prizes to give out
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 


Wed April 30, 2014
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Women are so horrified and disgusted by man pleasuring himself with a sex toy, leather whip and clothes peg they have to look "several times as they could not believe what they were seeing"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Gov. Rick Scott visits nursing home to listen to residents' complaints about Obamacare. What he heard: "Very happy," "no problems, "very pleased," "I'm completely satisfied"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The US is close to bringing criminal charges to two of the world's largest banks. This means, of course, that it will never happen and we're suckers for thinking it will
source: dealbook.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Amish Mafia may be fake, but police insist Mennonite Mobsters is all too real
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
A woman who claims to have had sex with a ghost on more than one occasion has admitted the experience was "really, really pleasurable" - a spirited romp you might say
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 


Mon April 28, 2014
(Some chick)
 
 
 
Help a Farker's band win local music awards, please and thank you. (DIT)
source: ct-survey.wehaaserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
R-Money may run in 2016 if Jeb Bush decides not to. Please proceed, Governor
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
For those of you who think left wingers can't write derp, please read the following
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(216)
 


Sun April 27, 2014
(Krebs On Security)
 
 
 
Microsoft issues warning of yet another zero-day vulnerability, in all IE versions, that facilitates silent installation of malicious software. Please don't panic, however, as they have given assurances they have no idea when or if it will be fixed
source: krebsonsecurity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
World's first restaurant for solo eaters open in Amsterdam. "The simple pleasure of unapologetically eating alone"
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 


Fri April 25, 2014
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Attention parents: Please make sure your children know the difference between a sandbox and an intricate sand mandala that took Buddhist monks days to create
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(201)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Will all of the airlines who made a profit in Q1 please step forward. Not so fast United
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 


Wed April 23, 2014
(Funny Or Die)
 
Video
 
PLEASE CLICK FUNNY for TFer to get on the Funny or Die Road to Oddball comedy tour. I love each and every one of you
source: funnyordie.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 


Sun April 20, 2014
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
ESPN lists the 50 greatest Yankees of all-time. Bill Dickey ranks higher than the dickey rated at 13th. Delsideified for your viewing pleasure
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(io9)
 
 
 
And now for your auditory pleasure, here are 40 minutes of instantly recognizable sound effects from classic Warner Bros. cartoons
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(8)
 


Fri April 18, 2014
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
If you had "less than 24 hours" as the time it would take for conservatives to start trying to politicize Chelsea Clinton's pregnancy, please step up to receive your prize
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 


Thu April 17, 2014
(Cinema Blend)
 
 
 
America, Hollywood has listened to your unrelenting pleas. After twenty years of waiting, Mrs. Doubtfire 2 is now in the works with Robin Williams set to star as a crossdressing grandpa
source: cinemablend.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 


Tue April 15, 2014
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
And now, deslided for your viewing pleasure, are all of the 2014 NHL goalie masks
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 


Sun April 13, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Please allow me to be amongst the first to call bullshiat on this story
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 


Sat April 12, 2014
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Boston Marathon bombing victim to Meet the Press: "Please don't say the bombers' name in my presence." Meet the Press: "Sure. That works for us." Meet the Press a bit later: "So, about that promise"
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Woman who threw shoe at Clinton, also disrupted courtroom during Aurora shooter James Holmes' trial. Please don your tinfoil hat and line up in an orderly fashion before commenting
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 


Thu April 10, 2014
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
The IRS needs more money so you can send them more money. Please help
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 


Wed April 09, 2014
(CNN)
 
 
 
Star UConn guard goes to bed "starving" because he can't afford food. Won't somebody please think of the student athletes?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(152)
 


Tue April 08, 2014
(SFGate)
 
 
 
"Shark Tank", "Cash Cab", and "Silicon Valley" all rolled up in one? Yes please
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 


Mon April 07, 2014
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Could somebody please explain why a small town police department in southeastern Iowa needs a fully armored military vehicle designed to prowl a desert war zone? "I just think it's a great way to help the taxpayers"
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(NBC Bay Area)
 
 
 
Police request that the druid or druids responsible for creating SmartCarhenge in San Francisco please knock it off
source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(GoFundMe)
 
 
 
Please help save the free world - my high school debaters need assistance getting to the national championship
source: gofundme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 


Sun April 06, 2014
(Zero Hedge)
 
 
 
Will the world's greatest economic power please step forward? Not so fast there, Uncle Sam
source: zerohedge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 


Sat April 05, 2014
(serpent_sky)
 
 
 
Help one of us win the CT Music awards. Please, dudes
source: ct-survey.wehaaserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(9)
 


Fri April 04, 2014
(Snopes)
 
 
 
There. Snopes has spoken. Will you farking idiots please stop blathering about the Yellowstone caldera now? Christ
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Time to test your knowledge against the sharpest minds in the world. Or lacking that, against your fellow Farkers. It's the Fark Weird News Quiz. Please consult your doctor before trying any new quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Gigwise)
 
 
 
Kasabian announced as Sunday night Glastonbury headliner. Sadly, it seems no one is pleased with the news
source: gigwise.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 


Thu April 03, 2014
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
DEA Chief: Before you legalize pot, please think of all the puppies that will die from eating hash brownies, rather than dying naturally, like, say, being shot during a botched raid
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(307)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Hello, I'd like a tow truck. My car is in Lake Houston. Please hurry, I'm breathing from an air pocket. Yes, I have AAA
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 


Wed April 02, 2014
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Millennials are sexual vultures. Please, carrion
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
You are now entering Anus. Please drive carefully
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Institute for The Eradication of Every Last Bit of Pleasure From Life Until You Beg For The Sweet Release of Death calls for Girl Scouts to stop selling cookies
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 


Mon March 31, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
I am a Bomb Disposal Technician. If you see me running, please try and keep up
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 


Sun March 30, 2014
(Victoria Advocate)
 
 
 
"We live in an age of outrage and apology, in which each secret and slight is posted on Huffington and mocked on Fark, in which every person who makes the slightest misstep is beaten and kicked for the pleasure of the 24-hour news cycle"
source: victoriaadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 


Fri March 28, 2014
(Gawker)
 
 
 
The owner of LuLu's salon and toy store in Brooklyn would very much much like one of her neighbors who named their wifi "LuLu's Anal Bleaching for Kids" to please change it
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(187)
 

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