Source	Fark Headline		Comments
(KVAL.com)		Oregon Ducks starting QB suspended for entire 2010 season for burglary conviction. Which means he will likely be playing again by the end of the season, if history tells us anything. Fowl trifecta complete  (kval.com)	(41)

Former Conservative MP Rahim Jaffer pleads guilty to dangerous driving charges in exchange for cocaine possession and drunk driving charges being withdrawn. I think we know how he'll be celebrating  (edmontonsun.com)

(24)

(Charleston Daily Mail)

Boy shoots dog (bad). Boy is sentenced to jail (good). Boy is allowed out for Hank Williams, Jr. concert because his girlfriend spent a lot of money on the tickets (wtf?)  (dailymail.com)

(207)

(Margaret Thatcher)

BAE Systems pleads guilty to conspiring to defraud the US and violating Foreign Corrupt Practices Act. BAE will pay $400 million fine "one of the largest criminal fines ever levied in the United States against a company"  (webnewswire.com)

(37)

(Holland Sentinel)

If you're a prosecutor, remember there is a difference between "copping a plea" and "copping a feel." They are not the same thing  (hollandsentinel.com)

(57)

(Iowa Independent)

"Manga" collector sentenced to 6 months in prison. And when they came for the Japanese Rapist Tentacle Monster Comic Collectors, I did not speak up, for I was not a JRTMCC  (iowaindependent.com)

(159)

Obama administration arrests, Mirandizes, prosecutes in the civilian system, gets guilty plea from a dangerous terrorist in a triumph of the American justice system. Republican response: Not a single word  (mediamatters.org)

(172)

Man arrested for repeatedly attempting to breakdance. "He wore a large diamond buckle, causing extensive gouging damage to hardwood floors"  (wivb.com)

(83)

(MLive.com)

Recently reinstated WR Donte Stallworth will get a look from the Detroit Lions. Geez, wasn't a year in jail enough punishment?  (mlive.com)

(42)

Australian court hears that man accused of having sex at a petrol station was asleep until some time after the act had started. In legal circles, this is known as the "English defence"  (news.com.au)

(46)

(My Fox Phoenix)

Prison rehabilitates offenders, as proven by man who served four years for sex abuse and crimes against children, and is now a counselo... just kidding, he raped two underaged girls the day he was released and is now looking at 45 years  (myfoxphoenix.com)

(384)

Defendant changes plea on jigsaw man murder, after the police manage to put all the pieces together  (independent.co.uk)

(15)

(Charleston Gazette)

Apparently, the duties of the Director of the State Historic Preservation Office don't include masturbating in a state vehicle in public  (wvgazette.com)

(61)

Woman arrested with a .708 BAC in December stumbles into court, pleads guilty, then orders a round for the courtroom  (azcentral.com)

(62)

(Lehigh Valley Live)

"Stripper pole dad wants new venue because he's known as 'stripper pole dad'"  (lehighvalleylive.com)

(43)

What does an ex-NBA star get for his driver? 18 months  (nydailynews.com)

(84)

Balloon dad now claims that the claim that the stunt was a hoax was a hoax and that he claims he pled guilty to save his wife and can TLC do a documentary on that for him please?  (msnbc.msn.com)

(55)

The "48 Hours" producer accused of trying to blackmail David Letterman offers to plead guilty if the DA produces "8760 Hours"  (nypost.com)

(13)

On one hand, third offense drunk driving hit and run with injuries is bad. On the other hand, we wouldn't want the senator to miss any important votes  (boston.com)

(89)

"Judge nixes please for man, who's accused of hosting racy underage drinking party, and sneds him to prison for stalking." Proofreading is only for print media these days?  (mcall.com)

(29)

(Some Guy)

Woman admits to killing her 18-year-old sister over a pair of hair straighteners. (w/ ugly sister-hot sister picture)  (heraldsun.com.au)

(235)

Trying to beat a murder rap? Don't rap about it on YouTube  (hamptonroads.com)

(38)

Two men get probation over an oregano fight, thanks to a judge's sage decision  (mcall.com)

(27)

		Stealing £315,000 from your quadruple amputee niece's trust fund to buy vacations and jewelry is no way to save your marriage  (dailymail.co.uk)	(74)
(Tameside Advertiser)		Religious education teacher jailed for teaching teenage boy to scream "Oh God!"  (tamesideadvertiser.co.uk)	(48)

New York Giants coach Tom Coughlin had a stalker. A male stalker. A retarded male stalker. No, the stalker wasn't Eli Manning    (deadspin.com)

(43)

Couple who stole home from Alzheimers Patient preparing for an experience they'll never forget  (upi.com)

(67)

Welcome home Captain. Thank you for serving your country. Get ready for your Big Mac attack  (nypost.com)

(149)

(NME)

Man who "attacked" Oasis lead "guitarist" Noel Gallagher pleads guilty to assault. Judge will probably let him off, though, as really, it's hard to punish someone for living the dream    (nme.com)

(8)

(Some Guy)		Woman wakes up to find a strange man wearing her bra and panties (w/ picture of what a strange man who wears bras and panties might look like)  (katu.com)	(93)
		Music teacher jailed for playing skin flute. You submitted this with A minor joke    (news.com.au)	(113)
		"Predator" who posed as Australian cab driver jailed, possibly by Lieutenant Harrigan  (news.com.au)	(33)

In the red corner we have Dean Affleck, the 18 year old burglar with a meat cleaver, and in the blue corner we have Chloe Edwards, aged 5. Place your bets now  (dailymail.co.uk)

(72)

You know your hometown newspaper isn't pulling for you when the first line of the article about your senate campaign is, "And then there was the time he threatened to kill a dog."  (boston.com)

(51)

(Rutland Herald)

Salmon apologizes for driving drunk, admits it was a crappie thing to do  (rutlandherald.com)

(76)