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Headlines matching 'plans'
Sat February 11, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Obvious The National Park Service announced its plans to remove and change the inscription on the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial. Obviously some people have a problem with this  (ajc.com) (124)
(Good.is) Ironic Having spent millions on #Occupy hassles, NYC plans construction of giant urban campground  (good.is) (33)


Fri February 10, 2012
(Some Guy) Amusing Chachi plans to write tell-all book about every starlet he made 'sit on it'  (guyspeed.com) (60)


Thu February 02, 2012
(UPI) Obvious American Airlines announces plans for bankruptcy reorganization, hopes to achieve delicate balance between angering customers and screwing employees  (upi.com) (9)
(WTOP) Interesting Virginia may be about to pass a law that separates school year planning from King's Dominion's schedule. In other news, Virginia currently plans its school year around King's Dominion's schedule  (wtop.com) (108)


Wed February 01, 2012
(The New York Times) Silly DC plans Watchmen prequels. When asked for comment, Alan Moore said: I can write characters created by Jules Verne, HG Wells, Robert Louis Stevenson, Arthur Conan Doyle and Frank Baum, but it's wrong for anyone else to write my characters  (nytimes.com) (123)


Mon January 30, 2012
(IOL) Interesting Muslim preacher arrested in Kenya, Secret Service plans rescue mission  (iol.co.za) (33)
(The Sun) Asinine Tourism tip: If you're planning a visit to the U.S., don't tweet about your plans to "destroy America" or dig up Marilyn Monroe  (thesun.co.uk) (131)


Fri January 27, 2012
(STLToday) Obvious Hopefully your London Rams merchandise has an easy return option  (stltoday.com) (29)


Thu January 26, 2012
(Fox News) Fail "The selection of a Republican candidate for the presidency of this globalized and expansive empire is the greatest competition of idiocy and ignorance that has ever been." This is obviously false because Fidel Castro said it  (nation.foxnews.com) (70)


Wed January 25, 2012
(BusinessWeek) Fail Nissan plans on building a $2 billion plant in America's heartland... Mexico  (businessweek.com) (45)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Amanda Knox plans to return to Italy. This should end well  (dailymail.co.uk) (93)


Mon January 23, 2012
(Gawker) Spiffy Veteran without health insurance and in need of a new kidney accidentally buys lottery ticket, wins $14.3 million. First thing he plans to buy is health insurance  (gawker.com) (90)
(Some Guy) Cool Today's cool thing: Watch Amanda Palmer and the Dresden Dolls perform the Violent Femmes' debut album live in Tasmania with the help of a Bad Seed, one of PJ Harvey's sidemen and the Femmes' bassist  (slicingupeyeballs.com) (49)
(Yahoo) Interesting Russian scientist claims signs of life spotted on Venus. Wal-Mart immediately plans opening of store #8403  (news.yahoo.com) (51)


Fri January 20, 2012
(Think Progress) Hero Obama signs off on forcing health insurers to almost universally cover contraceptives in their plans. Insurance carriers to announce premium hikes to cover the high cost of women getting not pregnant  (thinkprogress.org) (398)


Thu January 19, 2012
(Daily Kos) Obvious "Newt Gingrich reiterates his plans to be an outlaw president, or if you prefer, a dictator"  (dailykos.com) (65)


Wed January 18, 2012
(TechnologyReview) Interesting Researchers begin application process on a new material that converts heat into electricity. Initial plans are to slather it on Sofia Vergara and light up the lower half of Manhattan  (technologyreview.com) (28)


Tue January 17, 2012
(Some Guy) Hero Virginia Tech student plans to "race free from cancer." Well, we've tried everything else, maybe we can outrun it  (newsleader.com) (21)


Mon January 16, 2012
(Some Guy) Fail Tampa Bay plans to take their time in hiring their head coach. Translation: "No one wants this POS job, for God's sake we couldn't convince Wade Phillips to come down here"  (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com) (30)


Sat January 14, 2012
(NPR) Unlikely When one ponders the career options available to retired NFL running backs, "Shakespearean Actor" is often left off the list. Unless one is Eddie George..."Unlikely" doesn't even begin to cover this  (npr.org) (53)


Wed January 11, 2012
(Daily Kos) Fail House GOP plans to introduce a measure condemning the President's recess appointments...as soon as they return from recess  (dailykos.com) (138)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Pakistan plans Operation Closing the Barn Door  (dailymail.co.uk) (9)


Tue January 10, 2012
(Philly.com) Interesting Pennsylvania plans to make the amount of food stamps that people receive contingent on the assets they possess. You hungry? You gonna need to sell that playstation  (philly.com) (250)


Mon January 09, 2012
(LA Times) Interesting William Daley out as Obama's Chief of Staff - plans on moving back to Chicago to help dig up votes for November  (latimes.com) (24)
(Showbiz Spy) Cool Betty White reveals 90th birthday plans. Sorry, they do not involve you  (showbizspy.com) (40)
(Washington Post) Asinine In these trying times of stretched budgets and massive funding cuts to state universities, it's comforting to know the University of Maryland plans to spend $7.2 million on a new 14,000-square-foot mansion for its president  (washingtonpost.com) (69)


Sun January 08, 2012
(Marketwatch) Interesting Pentagon says it wants a leaner military. Plans to immediately issue smaller MRE's  (marketwatch.com) (57)


Sat January 07, 2012
(Daily Mail) Sad C. Feldman alleges molestation, issues B.moresque era-appr. quip: "It was basically me laying there pretending I was asleep..." Plans to out alleged pedophiles when advantageous to alleged career. Hey C.F.-- What up with the youth?  (dailymail.co.uk) (95)


Fri January 06, 2012
(nfl.com) Spiffy NFL takes a page outta the Patriots books plans to tape sidelines  (nfl.com) (34)
(Bloomberg) Fail Siri, how can I double my data usage?  (bloomberg.com) (47)
(Reuters) Followup Iran plans more war games in strait, obviously unaware that the only way to win is not to play  (reuters.com) (42)


Thu January 05, 2012
(JSOnline) Stupid President Obama to announce his summer jobs plan. Experts predict the economic effects shall be similar or exactly the same as all of his previous job plans  (jsonline.com) (80)


Fri December 30, 2011
(Daily Mail) Sappy Eight months after Peyton Manning's wife gives birth to twins, Colts' QB Dan Orlovsky becomes father of triplets. Andrew Luck suddenly rethinking senior year plans  (dailymail.co.uk) (12)


Wed December 28, 2011
(The New York Times) Obvious Romero Institute of Consumer Trends finds that people who shop online while drunk tend to buy more. Subby plans to finish article after completing order of glow skull soap and pickle lip balm from the FARK Shop  (nytimes.com) (37)
(Some Wookie) Scary Another article about the Oregon Ducks' questionable choice in football uniforms: Darth Vader edition  (thepostgame.com) (49)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Putin plans series of fire side chats with the Russian people because Franklin Roosevelt would never rig an election, or something  (dailymail.co.uk) (29)


Mon December 26, 2011
(News.com.au) Interesting Apple plans to use hydrogen cells in batteries for longer iPhone charge time. Good luck getting that through airport security  (news.com.au) (75)


Thu December 22, 2011
(Fox News) Dumbass Iran announces plans to conduct Navy drills with...... CTRL+V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V....most fearsome, awe inspiring flotilla known to mankind  (foxnews.com) (139)
(Fark) FarkParty Holiday Fark Party - No plans for Christmas Eve? Join us in LA for some drinks and eats  (fark.com) (83)
(CNN) Cool Stone Temple Pilots' Scott Weiland releasing Christmas album. Plans to give a new personal interpretation of "White Christmas"  (edition.cnn.com) (18)


Sat December 17, 2011
(NME) Spiffy Wouldn't it be nice if the Beach Boys were to announce plans to reform for their 50th anniversary?  (nme.com) (69)


Thu December 15, 2011
(Fox News) Scary Gingrich plans for the federal court so extreme that even Bush era AGs consider it dangerous  (foxnews.com) (68)


Tue December 13, 2011
(Mother Nature Network) Cool Scientist creates living cells out of metal. Sarah Connor making vacation plans  (mnn.com) (92)


Mon December 05, 2011
(Politico) PSA Democrats, Republicans release their dueling tax plans. Whoever wins, we lose  (politico.com) (139)


Sat December 03, 2011
(Sun Journal (Maine)) Amusing It's not too late to make plans to come to Eastport, Maine and watch the Great Sardine drop for New Years. "Oh, yeah, it's good luck to kiss the fish"  (sunjournal.com) (21)


Fri December 02, 2011
(Sporting News) Cool MLB's worst fear comes true: Mark Cuban to bid on the Dodgers  (aol.sportingnews.com) (60)


Thu December 01, 2011
(Some Guy) Obvious Mike Martz blames players for not executing plays. I mean, who CAN'T execute a double reverse triple option screen flippity flop properly?   (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com) (26)


Wed November 30, 2011
(TheSpec.com) Strange The mayor of Hamilton, Ontario, Canada hires a Senior Military Advisor, plans invasion of other Canadian cities you've never heard of  (thespec.com) (44)


Tue November 29, 2011
(Daily Mail) Obvious Hugh Laurie plans to quit television as soon as 'House' goes off the air. Of course, there's talk of a music career. Bruce Willis unavailable for comment  (dailymail.co.uk) (34)
(Chicago Tribune) Followup AOL has no plans to go down with Yahoo's ship, will remain independent until going out of business next week  (chicagotribune.com) (19)
(Telegraph) Interesting The head of one of Europe's largest information technology services companies says email is "outdated" and plans to stop its use  (telegraph.co.uk) (30)


Tue November 22, 2011
(Some Guy) Interesting Here's how to save the NBA: All starting fives must include an Elvis impersonator on stilts. Or, well, this other plan  (scholarsandrogues.com) (18)
(The Register) Interesting Startling proof that the internet makes you smarter. San Diego nixes plan to explode whale carcass, instead plans to truck it across town to research lab  (theregister.co.uk) (51)


Mon November 21, 2011
(Gizmag) Cool Shackleton Energy Company plans to establish first lunar base and gas stations in space. THE FUTURE IS *HERE*  (gizmag.com) (26)
(The Star) Scary Soccer match between Malaysia and Indonesia sells out. Do you A) Make other plans, B) Marvel that Malaysia and Indonesia would sell out a soccer game, C) Set fire to the ticket booths  (thestar.com.my) (4)


Sun November 20, 2011
(LA Times) Unlikely Joe Paterno's son has a plan to get his dad's name back on the Big 10 trophy. But he needs someone to go back in time with him. You'll get paid after you get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (138)


Fri November 18, 2011
(Showbiz Spy) Obvious Kim Kardashian plans huge Christmas bash to take her mind off the fact that she's a talentless, vapid, annoying ho-ho-ho  (showbizspy.com) (34)
(ESPN) Obvious BCS exploring new options. You still won't like any of them  (espn.go.com) (136)
(USA Today) Asinine Catholic Church buys glass cathedral for $57M, plans to renovate by casting stones in all directions  (content.usatoday.com) (123)
(ESPN) Amusing The legend of Tim Tebow, volume 2: Fark it, I'm going full derp  (espn.go.com) (329)


Thu November 17, 2011
(Guardian) Interesting UK plans to put CCTV recorders in Oxford taxis. You'll still get robbed, but there will now be a grainy video of the act in progress  (guardian.co.uk) (2)
(Toronto Sun) Obvious Monti to lay out reform plans, three cards  (torontosun.com) (23)


Tue November 15, 2011
(Contact Music) Amusing Johnny Depp's funeral plans are pretty much what you'd expect them to be  (contactmusic.com) (39)


Sat November 12, 2011
(Gizmodo) Obvious Android's new much touted facial recognition authentication found to be as secure as everything else on Android  (gizmodo.com) (35)
(Daily Mail) Followup Qatar 2009: "Air conditioned stadiums? Of course the stadiums will have air-conditioning. Who'd want to sit for 90 minutes in 120 degree heat?" Qatar 2011: "Air conditioning is for pussies"  (dailymail.co.uk) (65)


Thu November 10, 2011
(Boston.com) Stupid Budweiser plans to introduce Bud Light Platinum. It'll still taste like piss, but really GOOD piss  (boston.com) (35)


Wed November 09, 2011
(The Consumerist) Spiffy Girl scouts now sell lip balm in chocolate, peanut butter, caramel. Company says they have NO plans to issue brownie flavor  (consumerist.com) (38)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Silly City of Chicago plans on selling ad space on trash cans, pay boxes, and pretty much anything that will earn them a few bucks  (suntimes.com) (36)


Tue November 08, 2011
(Deadline) Amusing Jennifer Saunders has Absolutely Fabulous movie plans  (deadline.com) (33)
(The Local (Sweden)) Stupid A Jewish association in Stockholm criticizes an agency that plans on selling paintings by Adolf Hitler regardless of ethical factors. Hey... do you know who also decided what was best for everyone else?  (thelocal.se) (54)


Mon November 07, 2011
(TMZ) Followup Justin Bieber plans to take a DNA test to prove he is not the father of crazy woman's child, and sue her for spreading the completely untrue rumors that he has sex with women  (tmz.com) (61)


Sun November 06, 2011
(MSNBC) Fail Michelle Bachmann vows to create "millions of jobs" for Americans. No word on how she plans to make her fantasyland a reality  (today.msnbc.msn.com) (318)


Fri November 04, 2011
(CNN) Fail AIG posts $4.3B quarterly loss, plans stock buyback with money earned when you finally land on Park Place with two hotels on it  (money.cnn.com) (50)


Thu November 03, 2011
(Gizmodo) Amusing PlayStation controllers might feature biometric sensors that would determine how stressed you are. If they ever make Battletoads for the PlayStation 3, those sensors would have a full-on meltdown  (gizmodo.com) (52)
(Cracked) Interesting Five backup plans that would have changed modern history  (cracked.com) (106)
(Chud) Stupid "Watchmen" prequel plans will leave you blue in the face  (chud.com) (75)


Mon October 31, 2011
(MSP Business Journal) Interesting Target announces plans to open stores at midnight on Thanksgiving in an attempt to get shoppers to spend more time in their stores on Black Friday. Of course, time is pretty much the only thing Americans have to spend this Christmas  (bizjournals.com) (164)


Sun October 30, 2011
(The New York Times) Fail Mission still not accomplished: U.S. plans post-Iraq troop increase in Persian Gulf including new combat forces in Kuwait capable of re-invading Iraq just as soon as their government collapses  (nytimes.com) (337)


Fri October 28, 2011
(LA Times) Interesting A wild card in the November 2012 election? Coming from the Internet? Maybe, because there's a well-funded "virtual third party," that plans to put a centrist presidential candidate on the ballot in all 50 states  (latimes.com) (94)
(Forbes) Unlikely Sprint CEO explains that having tons of users switch to the new iPhone actually makes it easier to offer unlimited data plans. No, really  (forbes.com) (88)


Wed October 26, 2011
(Asahi) Interesting Hackers finally look at non-US defense contractors, stealing plans for fighter planes, tentacle beasts and nuclear plants from Mitsubishi  (ajw.asahi.com) (19)


Tue October 25, 2011
(NYPost) Spiffy Vroooooooooooooooom, start your engines: Formula One to unveil plans to hold a Grand Prix race in NJ with the NYC skyline as a backdrop in 2013  (nypost.com) (89)


Mon October 24, 2011
(Some Cheesehead) Asinine Wisconsin town wants to ban cyclists and pedestrians from using public roads unless they register their travel plans in advance. In other news, there's a place in Wisconsin where people are fit enough to bike or walk  (articles.businessinsider.com) (151)


Fri October 21, 2011
(CNBC) Obvious Wal-Mart cuts some of their health plans. They had a health plan? I thought their policy on employee health was "Die. You are easily replaced"  (cnbc.com) (47)
(Fox News) Interesting Frito-Lay accused of deceptive advertising to teens. Company refutes claims, but still plans to launch Farmville Cool Ranch chips  (foxnews.com) (8)


Thu October 20, 2011
(USA Today) Sad Study: 1 in 100 adults made suicide plans in past year. I'll bet it's not the same 1% everyone keeps talking about  (yourlife.usatoday.com) (182)
(AZCentral) Obvious Surprise mobile-home fire kills man, because, who plans mobile-home fires?  (azcentral.com) (32)
(Think Progress) Followup Herman Cain swears his 9-9-9 plan has a super secret program to help the poor that he hasn't told anyone about yet. Something about cake and allowing them to eat it  (thinkprogress.org) (213)

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