Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		More people are drinking raw milk despite safety concerns. Louis Pasteur facepalms  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(70)

		The RCMP are unhappy with the Olympics Closing Ceremony's depiction of Mounties as people who put on women's clothing and hang around in bars  (cbc.ca)	(36)
		Zombieland writers talk Deadpool, G.I. Joe 2 and Zombieland 2. Plus list all the people who turned down a cameo in the original film  (denofgeek.com)	(48)
		Ben Folds one-ups the Chatroulette Piano Improv guy by doing it live with two thousand people in the audience  (youtube.com)	(102)
		Many people welcome the arrival of spring in many different ways. For instance, the people of Annapolis, Maryland welcome spring by torching socks  (upi.com)	(9)
		Five instruments played by 40 people superimposed over one another. Yes, it's been done before but it's still pretty cool  (youtube.com)	(26)
		French band Phoenix fully embrace their propensities for math rock: "Even beats are mathematical - it's mathematics that makes people dance"  (guardian.co.uk)	(14)
		Wall Street bankers protest the oppression of their people. From the inside of their offices, because it was cold outside. And no, this is not from Onion  (nytimes.com)	(85)

		For a small fee, Best Buy's own version of malware, The Geek Squad, will sync up 3-D glasses to your HDTV. And yes, people will still fall for this scam  (consumerist.com)	(138)
		26 percent of the people in this country still have something called a "life"  (news.yahoo.com)	(68)
		K-Mart, the big-box retailer everyone forgets exists, sends out an email coupon to select markets; learns the hard way people post those things on the internet and get pissed when they can't use them  (consumerist.com)	(50)
		Hundreds of people lined up before a giant toilet prop to bring awareness to World Water Day. Participants were asked to mind their pees in queue    (news.com.au)	(47)

		Poll: People are more likely to support Healthcare reform when they know that the GOP opposes it  (dailykos.com)	(298)
		The producers of the Captain America movie aren't farking around anymore, they're serious this time. The list to play Cap is down to three people. They think you'll be pleasantly supr...oh Jesus H. Christ, are you farking kidding me?  (slashfilm.com)	(104)
		Capitalism makes people nice, according to well-paid researchers  (nationalpost.com)	(60)
		After a week of bad Publicity about found e-mails and federal grand juries, Sheriff Joe has apparently decided it's time for another Brown People Round-up in Maricopa County  (abcnews.go.com)	(337)
		Jerry York: Ex-Chrysler, IBM chief of finance was candid: "They're very nice people, but I don't see a killer instinct to tear the competition a new a**hole." He'll be missed by us all  (freep.com)	(19)
(Some Guy)		Having solved all other problems, undercover cops in Florida are now busting stores for letting people buy condoms with food stamps  (970wfla.com)	(122)

		India - where people drink from the contaminated Ganges river and often bathe in cow urine - is considering banning Lindsay Lohan, because, hey, even they know where to draw the line  (telegraph.co.uk)	(44)
		Amazon bows to pressure and releases a Kindle for Mac users. Who knew that hundreds of people could effect change like that?  (consumerist.com)	(43)
(Poynter Online)		"Wikipedia, Digg.com, Fark - they all are communities of people built around a common purpose, doing more together than they could do alone." In related news, Farkers have a common purpose (5th paragraph)  (poynter.org)	(49)
		Insurance company does the right thing by helping those most in need. Just kidding, they pick out people in a database who probably have life-threatening illnesses and investigate them for fraud so they can drop their coverage  (consumerist.com)	(168)
		Proving that some people just can't take a hint, a Nova Scotia woman has been incorrectly declared dead by authorities - for the second time  (cbc.ca)	(28)

		Hearst to flood iTunes with news aggregator apps that charge people to see other publishers' articles. I guess there's a sucker born every--hey, wait  (gizmodo.com)	(21)
		Because drunk people falling down is never not funny... Happy St. Patrick's Day  (tv.gawker.com)	(24)
		On this St. Patrick's Day, it's important to remember that Sen. Joe McCarthy was a great man and that the term "McCarthyism" is a racist insult to all Irish people  (corner.nationalreview.com)	(207)
		Another Limbaugh-inspired craze sweeps Real America: Mocking people with Parkinsons (video)  (dailykos.com)	(514)
		Most people get used to their phones and can text on them pretty quickly. Then there's this guy  (youtube.com)	(32)
		Harley-Davidson shares close up 7% on news that someone is actually interested in purchasing a company that manufacturers motorcycles for people with hip replacements  (jsonline.com)	(73)

		Boss says "ex-drug dealers, convicts and child molesters" make better employees than former soldiers. Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this  (news.com.au)	(386)
(Some Guy)		Flight Attendants want Congress to limit carry-on bag size because people are not wanting to pay for baggage. If only there was some way to have the same outcome without legislation, perhaps a repeal of some prior policy  (kstp.com)	(202)

		New Study from the Romero Institute: People are Healthier After They Quit Smoking  (jsonline.com)	(38)
		Good news for students: You voted for Obama, and now he's taking your student aid to pay for ObamaCare for old people  (insidehighered.com)	(56)
		As the new judge on "American Idol," Ellen DeGeneres is perfect for the job because "she doesn't judge people," says Portia de Rossi  (tvwatch.people.com)	(30)

		Supreme Court rules cable companies must continue to make their programming available to satellite companies. In other news, people still use satellites instead of cable. And no, I checked, it's not 1988  (variety.com)	(99)
		Baltimore high school principal applies her entrepreneurial skills. Naturally, some people have a problem with this  (baltimoresun.com)	(29)
		Video of a long-haired girl standing in a hallway, scaring the crap out of people who suddenly discover her presence  (liveleak.com)	(56)
		Mind-reading technology may be just around the corner. In other news, RIAA to start suing people for songs stuck in their heads  (aolnews.com)	(38)

		In the future, all people will be Canadian  (alternet.org)	(82)
		♫ It was an anti-Berlusconi Purple People movement / anti-Berlusconi Purple People movement / anti-Berlusconi Purple People movement / Sure looks strange to me ♫  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(13)
		If you're one of the 2.5 million innocent people NYPD stopped and frisked over the last 5 years, don't worry, you're still in their computer system  (nytimes.com)	(62)
		If you guessed that the new Federal Reserve vice chair doesn't want too many people working nor too much prosperity, step up and collect your extended unemployment check  (article.nationalreview.com)	(60)
		Contrary to what many people may believe, the Tea Party's motto is "fiscal responsibility, limited government, and free markets" with little or no mention of God, life and family. You betcha'  (nytimes.com)	(304)
		Mayor rescues kitten just in time for Caturday. "I change light bulbs for elderly people, I unblock drains and I rescue cats. It is part of being the mayor of a super city"  (nzherald.co.nz)	(830)

		Glenn Beck tells viewers to boycott "churches that preach economic and social justice." Conservative evangelical preacher advises people boycott the Crying One, and challenges Beck to a debate  (cnn.com)	(376)
		Fox News speculates on what will cause the end of the world. Armies of invisible sky people battling evil creatures from the pit strangely absent  (foxnews.com)	(28)
		By definition, Populism prohibits otherwise reasonable people from seeing that the difficult decisions are the ones that rescue crashing economies. Luckily, Tim Geithner is no populist  (newyorker.com)	(84)
		Sports writer jokes that JaMarcus Russell is being treated for "lethargy addiction." It's so believable that people are falling for it  (sfgate.com)	(44)

(Some Guy)		A Dexter tribute list. The greatest movie serial killers of all time. As one real serial killer said "People like me don't come from films. Them films come from people like me."  (thepulplist.com)	(60)
		White House reels in idea that Obama will ban fishing, invites people to take the hooks out of their mouths  (nytimes.com)	(41)
		Five Westerns you must see before dying. This list is why we don't let video game people make lists  (kotaku.com)	(221)
		George Will describes Obama as a "progressive Wilsonian." Basically, it's the "longing to replace the governance of people by the administration of things"  (washingtonpost.com)	(116)
		I'm just saying, some people just have that "registered sex offender" look about them  (myfoxdc.com)	(184)
(Buzz Feed)		Lady Gaga's inspiration = People of Walmart?  (buzzfeed.com)	(63)
		New school gym features locker rooms that allow people in the hall to watch the showers. "The first time a person looks in there and sees a naked kid we're going to have a problem"  (buffalonews.com)	(185)

		Not news: Woman decides to rob people. News: Successfully robs 11 people. Fark: Robs $6  (nbclosangeles.com)	(50)
		Melissa Auf der Maur tactfully describes her time in Courtney Love's band Hole as a "lesson in being human, co-existing with different people, and watching healing and destruction happen at the same time"  (guardian.co.uk)	(45)
		HHS Sec. Kathleen Sebelius addressing the health insurance companies summit : "Maybe you should use these millions you're spending on attack ads fighting reform on lowering people's premiums instead?"  (huffingtonpost.com)	(195)
		The GOP plan which balances the budget by slashing government to the bone? Yeah, turns it out also raises taxes the most on the poorest people, and gives the richest a massive tax cut  (yglesias.thinkprogress.org)	(136)
		County Clerk budgets vary quite a bit in Georgia. Dekalb county - $452,915, Cobb county - $397,049, Gwinnett - $107,464. For some reason some people have a problem with Fulton county's more than than $1 million budget  (ajc.com)	(36)
		New theme park opening for people with special needs. Cartman already preparing with a rock montage  (abcnews.go.com)	(50)

		Ginger people do have souls. Red souls  (southparkstudios.com)	(88)
(ScienceBlogs)		Proving yet again that suckers and their money are soon parted, people are paying a New Mexico spa over $100 to smear Japanese bird poop on their faces  (scienceblogs.com)	(60)
		Victor Davis Hanson notes that one reason for American exceptionalism may be that we did not inherit from England "a large underclass of only quasi-free people attached to barons as serfs."  (yglesias.thinkprogress.org)	(185)
		Miley Cyrus thinks she and her boyfriend are "deeper than normal people."  (starpulse.com)	(96)
		Due to low sales, Walmart discounts Black Barbie; obviously some people have a problem with this  (abcnews.go.com)	(307)

		Study shows iPhone addictive, making it the first truly great smartphone that people literally can't put down. You think anyone actually feels that way about their Blackberry? If they did there'd be a cute punny name for it or something  (news.yahoo.com)	(59)
(FanHouse)		"Do I want to be Ric Flair? Do I want to be Hulk Hogan? In the twilight of my life, do I want to be running around in my underwear trying to injure people? Absolutely not."  (fanhouse.com)	(102)
		In the tradition of...well, hooking oneself up to a dog powered sled and freezing one's ass off...a bunch of people started the 1,100 mile Iditarod race yesterday  (google.com)	(12)
		Lead singer for the Fun Lovin' Criminals tries to restart his feud with Blur's Damon Albarn. I'm sure Albarn will take the high road, as people still listen to Blur and not a group whose claim to fame is a single about John Gotti  (contactmusic.com)	(30)

		Five people who changed the world from inside of prison  (cracked.com)	(104)
		Tom Delay: "People are unemployed because they want to be." Yes, that's what he said  (huffingtonpost.com)	(242)

		Man interviews people on the street about the Oscars. Hilarity ensues. (some Not safe for work language)  (funnyordie.com)	(40)
		Obama now looking to screw up immigration like he screwed up health care: By adding an additional 20 million people to it  (latimes.com)	(193)
		2012 Olympics: Police will have powers to enter private homes and seize posters, and will be able to stop people carrying non-sponsor items to sporting events  (uk.news.yahoo.com)	(116)

		Good news: only 36,000 people lost their jobs today. Bad news: members of congress still employed  (voices.kansascity.com)	(51)
		As with the whole "Vaccinations cause Autism" thing, people jump on controversial papers when they are published, but pay no attention when they are retracted. There goes the science  (scientificamerican.com)	(53)
		Pentagon Metro shooter liked to post anti-government rants online that claim our political system attacks moral values. You know, as opposed to shooting random people  (abcnews.go.com)	(298)
(WZZM 13)		Because apparently some people do need to be told this: Craigslist is an entirely inappropriate place to arrange your circumcision  (wzzm13.com)	(65)
		Waka Flocka Flame gets involved in a fight with members of Young Jeezy's and Gucci Mane's entourages...you know what, you people need to get some normal f*cking names  (contactmusic.com)	(36)
		Rich people get bored, so they hook their Huskie dogs to scooters and go "urban mushing"  (time.com)	(23)

		News: Study finds large differences in people's definitions of "had sex". Weird: 23% of old men don't consider intercourse to be "sex"  (labspaces.net)	(118)
(Deccan Herald)		People have been living in India for almost 75,000 years. No wonder it's such a mess  (deccanherald.com)	(30)
		EMI will release "banned" Danger Mouse album featuring David Lynch, the Flaming Lips, Iggy Pop, and a whole bunch of other people who are no longer cool now that their name is on the BBC  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(22)
(Some Pompous Ass)		Billy Corgan says people try to strip him of every ounce of dignity, but they're just jealous because Corgan is so "influential." Dude, you haven't been influential since 1979  (spinner.com)	(59)
		Good news: Unemployments claims fall. Bad news: Because people's benefits are expiring  (money.cnn.com)	(127)
		China's "Kingdom of the Little People" theme park is both loved and loathed. In other news,China has a dwarf theme park  (msnbc.msn.com)	(99)
		Some people just have the knack for spotting a business opportunity that others would miss  (gizmodo.com)	(38)
		Deaf, dumb and blind armless people now have a shot at pinball wizardry  (npr.org)	(31)
(Some Guy)		Just a normal day at the park; birds singing, people walking their dog, naked woman tied to a tree  (thenewstribune.com)	(88)

		What your children will learn in history class: "Single-term President Barack Obama sacrificed his second term to push Health Care through Congress for the benefit of the American people"  (reuters.com)	(392)
		In the United States people forge drivers licenses to drink underage. In Switzerland people take it to a much higher level  (aolnews.com)	(74)
(KTAR)		Arizona governor urges people to volunteer. Would offer paid work, but Arizona is currently bankrupt  (ktar.com)	(145)
		Great deal available for people near East Rutherford, you can get your taxes done for free. Big huge catch: you have to go to a Nets game first  (sports.yahoo.com)	(39)
		College football team steals every copy of student newspaper to cover up disparaging drug bust arrests. You can't make this stuff up, people  (outofbounds.nbcsports.com)	(41)

		The online redemption website for the Cash for Clunkers: Applicances Edition went off as expected, resulting in thousands of people missing their chance at a rebate  (qctimes.com)	(19)
		Bettman: "Did people think we should fold The Blackhawks when the United Center was half-empty?"  (670thescore.com)	(280)
		Wow it's just so hilarious to give huge handguns to people without the strength to handle them, and not the least bit dangerous at all  (liveleak.com)	(60)
		While atheists have higher IQs in America, that's not because atheists are actually smarter, but that smart people are more likely to reject the status quo in most situations, and Christianity just happens to be dominant in America  (andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com)	(177)

		TLC won't show the Miss America pageant anymore, mostly because it's tired of showing peoples in America maps everywhere like such as our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S  (weblogs.variety.com)	(58)
		Jim Bunning's (R-KY) stalling caused 2,000 people to be furloughed, but he missed a Kentucky basketball game, so it's about even  (talkingpointsmemo.com)	(73)
		Pat Robertson offers compassionate words of encouragement to the people of Chile over their natural tragedy. Just kidding. He says they had it coming for making god angry. Bonus:"...personal hero of mine, Augusto Pinochet"  (open.salon.com)	(194)
(Some Birther)		People who think Joseph Farrah is nuts are the "real conspiracy theorists." Reverse vampires unavailable for comment  (wnd.com)	(94)
(Some Guy)		Question: What do you call 50 million people packed into an area the size of Kentucky, 95% of whom have high-speed internet? Answer: South Korea  (hplusmagazine.com)	(66)

(Vancouver Sun)		The USA gets it hockey goodness from stealing the sons of people who are better at hockey than them. Brett Hull, Zach Parisee, and Paul Statsny agree. Basically they are the Borg Collective of Hockey, and your child will be assimilated  (vancouversun.com)	(45)
		Why are cities across America shortening the lengths of yellow lights? One guess people, one guess  (alternet.org)	(146)
		The reason people are skeptical of global warming is because there is too much evidence  (alternet.org)	(751)

(Some Guy)		Fort Worth cops believe that gays and Mexican-Americans are more likely to be intoxicated in bars than other people  (motherjones.com)	(166)
(Mother Jones)		Birther, Truther, Tea Partier, Oath Keeper, freeper, Christian, and Fark Independent® named "Pray" prepares for the day "Hitlery" Clinton or Barack Hussein "Osama" declare martial law, unmask as lizzard people  (motherjones.com)	(188)
		Not News: Snow predicted. News: People panic, run to the store for bread and milk. Fark: Smart people stock up on cat food and kitty litter as we prepare for yet another snowy Caturday  (washingtonpost.com)	(720)

		Here is a list of Britain's most unfortuneatly named people. "Stan Still, get a move on" never gets boring  (telegraph.co.uk)	(218)
		Despite eating higher fat foods and doing less exercise, people in the '60s were skinnier due to all the shagging, protesting, assassinating, hippy-ing about, and other typical '60s-activities  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(365)
		Some people rely on their personality or looks for sex; Florida man relied on imitation Percocet, which he created in his bathroom  (nwfdailynews.com)	(55)
		SeaWorld says it faces major public relations crisis since its park attractions EAT PEOPLE  (washingtonpost.com)	(337)

		People are now Twittering their abortions? We have officially reached the end of the internet  (abcnews.go.com)	(782)
		So it's really not safe to meet people off the internet and have unprotected sex with strangers?  (indystar.com)	(272)
		Speaking to the few people left: Detroit Mayor emphasizes need to shrink city... *crickets*  (detnews.com)	(161)
		Saga of the Nut vendor continues: Vendors protest in Manhattan, shouting 'let our people go' and 'God Almighty'....'We need to pee like everyone else.' (w/pic of "We need to pee just like everyone else.")  (nypost.com)	(59)
		Kevin Smith: "For years people said, 'You're not a real director on the internet'...and they were right"  (examiner.com)	(86)
(Someone Needs to Retire)		Wes Craven is still interested in Scream 4, which brings the total number of people who can claim that to one  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(19)

(The Blemish)		Joan Rivers calls Victoria Beckham vulgar and rude, but Victoria didn't catch it due to the roaring applause she constantly imagines people give her  (theblemish.com)	(18)
(Some Guy)		Hundreds of thousands of people pay a fee to visit gigantic dark damp hole in Kentucky. Apparently my ex-wife is doing well  (wlky.com)	(77)
		VA Republican who said that disabled children are a punishment from God for prior abortions is upset that people have misconstrued his statements to mean he believes that disabled children are a punishment from God for prior abortions  (washingtonpost.com)	(66)
		The good news is that the collapse of Europe won't affect America at all. The bad news is that it will affect America because we sell these people things. Yes, there will probably be another war. Thanks for asking  (bloomberg.com)	(78)
(Some Guy)		Hospital infections kill 48,000 people each year. If only there was some building we could take these sick people to in hopes of them being cured  (mnn.com)	(114)

(Miller-McCune)		The Triumph of the Cyborg Composer. Or, how David Cope's computer generated classical music compositions are giving people fits  (miller-mccune.com)	(31)
		Physicist calls on Hollywood to tone down the fanciful science in movies and restrict themselves to just one scientific flaw per film. Also have intermissions every 12 parsecs so people can use the restroom    (news.bbc.co.uk)	(88)
		Athletes are happier to receive a bronze medal than a silver medal according to studies by three groups of people who are too nerdy to compete in sports  (usatoday.com)	(42)
		Organic snack bars recalled after they're a bit too effective at helping people lose weight. Might be the salmonella contamination  (ajc.com)	(33)
		Remember a time when facts settled arguments? Those were the good old days, before the dark times ... before people became estranged from critical thinking, divorced from logic, alienated from even objective truth  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(699)
		Bow Wow pays The Game $100,000 because of a debt incurred in... You know what? You people need to get some real goddamned names  (contactmusic.com)	(22)

		"The Bloom Box will be powering most people's homes in 5-10 years." Before you scoff, Google, Ebay, Walmart and many others are already using it  (cbsnews.com)	(233)
		Why people REALLY watch figure skating  (cracked.com)	(46)
(Some Guy)		Stereotypes for users of 40 websites."Fark: People who laugh at the word 'news'"  (lalawag.com)	(167)
(Science-Based Medicine)		Long-ago, all food was organic, healthy natural remedies were universal, obesity was rare, and people got lots of exercise. And they lived to be 35  (sciencebasedmedicine.org)	(171)
		Madison Square Garden to host a party celebrating a mythical thing that most younger people thought was a myth or a legend: a NY Knicks championship team  (nydailynews.com)	(16)
		Turns out Epic Beard Man was one of Hitler's people. Well, that explains everything  (youtube.com)	(45)

Kristen Stewart says her role in Twilight is more difficult than people realize. Apparently, slowly blinking, delivering poorly written dialogue, and looking wooden is "hard"  (mtv.com)

(89)

(Some Guy)		February 20th, 1992: Ross Perot says he'll run for President on Larry King. Do you hear me? Did you hear what I'm saying to you? What you have here is a headline. You read it from left to right. It's not rocket science, people    (brainyhistory.com)	(57)
(Some Guy)		Is this the worst Olympic Games ever? Death on the luge, no snow on the hills, security people shoplifting--what's next, leprosy? Oh. My. God  (timescolonist.com)	(62)
(Some Unknown Rockers)		Manic Street Preachers attack Radiohead during a small show in Glasgow. Radiohead would respond, but they're too busy making music and playing shows that people actually listen to    (nme.com)	(30)

		ESPN poll asks who will win the AL East. And people actually voted for the Orioles  (sports.espn.go.com)	(46)
		Snowboarder Hannah Teter is rich and famous and now has two Olympic medals, but all of that pales in comparison to her generousity and charity. "I'm motivated to keep going to keep making a difference in people's lives"  (csmonitor.com)	(26)
		It turns out that the higher a person's IQ is, the more of a whack-a-doodle they become, like the Alabama psycho professor and her husband, both who sport IQs of 180+: "...they think differently than most people do"  (blog.al.com)	(437)
		Andrew Joseph Stack's friends never saw it coming, much like the people working in the Austin IRS office yesterday  (news.yahoo.com)	(331)
		Millionaire New Age douchebag who killed three people in a sweat lodge says he can't make bond, but would be willing to put up his collection of priceless crystals and dream catchers  (hosted.ap.org)	(68)
		Jay-Z took a preemptive step to keep trouble from happening at his Brit Awards afterparty by banning all white people  (starpulse.com)	(137)
		According to her defense attorney, that Alabama teacher who went crazy nuts and shot up some people...is likely insane. And if you can't trust her defense attorney, then the only ones left to trust are the voices  (news.yahoo.com)	(93)
(Some Guy)		After Indiana Senator Evan Bayh's term is up, some people want to see another politically-savvy, intellectual replace him. Naturally, Playboy Playmate and former Hef girlfriend Kendra Wilkinson comes to mind  (popeater.com)	(28)

		If a sheriff's deputy asks you to leave a bar because you're disturbing people, the last thing you want to say is, "I'm waiting for the real cops to tell me to leave"  (nwfdailynews.com)	(69)
		Jessica Simpson is designing watches, which are said to be perfect timepieces for people with five-second attention spans  (contactmusic.com)	(27)
(Some Guy)		Not enough fans buying tickets to your lame ass ice hockey team's games? I have an idea, let's tax people  (bizjournals.com)	(23)

		The last sardine factory in the U.S. is closing its doors causing 128 people to crowd the unemployment office like... like... something  (bangordailynews.com)	(130)
		And the sign said long haired freaky people need not apply...oh or arrogant Americans  (foxnews.com)	(151)
		Jerry Falwell's Liberty University continues to produce quality science: Did humans eat dinosaurs? How does God see under your sheets? Are gay people human?  (blogs.chron.com)	(170)
		"We don't want people interfering with the process, because that's not American."  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(87)
		Jessica Simpson says people don't "deserve" to see her naked; which is kind of ironic because getting naked is probably the only thing that can save her career right now  (starpulse.com)	(50)
		Poll: Americans are the most attractive people in the world. USA USA USA  (telegraph.co.uk)	(497)
		Finland, which is fifth in the world in legal gun ownership, may ban semi-automatic handguns after a student went postal with one. So now the violently insane will be able to kill only six people before reloading  (breitbart.com)	(368)
		You're a convicted hitman paid to make an "appearance" at a wedding. Do you C) Show up in a yellow Lamborghini LP-640, crash into a Ferrari, and then beat up people taking pictures?  (jalopnik.com)	(53)

		Upset you can't see the Winter Olympics in person? So are 28,000 other people. Only difference is, they actually bought tickets  (cbc.ca)	(53)
		Abercrombie's profit falls 31%, as people discover you don't have to spend two hundred dollars to get holes in your jeans    (online.wsj.com)	(104)
		Florida man, dressed in gold necklaces and driving a Lexus, wonders why no one accepted his family in Hazelton, North Dakota. "People thought I was a drug dealer"  (abcnews.go.com)	(240)

If a train leaves west Brussels going 120 kilometers an hour, and a second train leaves east Brussels on the same track going 110 kilometers an hour, how long until 25 people are dead?  (abcnews.go.com)

(75)

		Public health messages may need to be simplified for stupid people. In other news, Public Health Dept. to require Taser capsules in every McDoubleCheeseChiliWhopper sold  (int.iol.co.za)	(38)
		The venerable ABC news/entertainment people recommend that Jennifer Aniston make a sex tape in order to save her career. ABC .... I think I speak for all Farkers when I say, "I love you guys."  (abcnews.go.com)	(43)
		Postman wins $4700 in damages after complaining that a cut on his finger stopped him from playing darts. I'm sure plenty of people out there have a finger to show him  (dailymail.co.uk)	(33)
		Well you see Scottishness starts with little things like that, and works up. You see, people don't just turn into a kilt-dropping Scotsman for no reason at all  (news.com.au)	(44)
		The three people who were shot and killed by the UAH professor on Friday brought her kill count up to four  (cnn.com)	(186)

(Some Guy)

The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement... why smart people shouldn't breed  (vhemt.org)

(212)

(Some Regulator)		Obama's new economic policy: keep people from knowing how bad things are  (washingtonsblog.com)	(89)
(CNNGo)		A Hong Kong flower market during Chinese New Year season. The coolest pics of haggling old people you'll see today  (cnngo.com)	(54)
		Original Haitian death toll of 270,000 has now been revised to 170,000, meaning that 100,000 people are no...longer...dead...OH CRAP    (ajc.com)	(340)
		"A lot of people, especially girls, don't like seeing guys with no shirts at parties," On what planet?  (news.com.au)	(258)

(Derpitty Durst)		Limp Bizkit say that "people will still hate them" even after releasing their new album. I'm pretty sure that's the smartest thing the group has ever said  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(26)
		White House reportedly "disappointed" by the way the UK courts have ruled that the public should know when Britain tortures people  (independent.co.uk)	(37)
(Some Guy)		In order to boost ratings for sports that few people have any interest in, Olympic organizers have decided to have lynxes chase the downhill skiers  (chicagobreakingsports.com)	(43)
		Australia launches new investigation into naval sex ring. People will really do anything with their piercings these days  (news.com.au)	(50)
(Some Guy)		While others argue over which religion kills the most people, Wisconsin man puts his church atop the little-known list of "which religion has zapped the most dance instructors with stun-guns?"  (todaystmj4.com)	(50)

		Some Virginia lawmakers may vote against allowing employers and insurance companies to implant microchips in people against their will because...wait for it...it might help protect humanity from the anti-christ  (dailykos.com)	(105)
		Australia investigates foil roof insulation that works too well, keeping people warm via electrocution  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(21)
		800,000 people brave hell freezing over to throw the Saints a victory parade  (nola.com)	(50)

(ZUG)		Scientists convince people they're weightless, create fake science, and build a real nuclear reactor in a shed. For fun  (zug.com)	(49)
		Why sports bring out the worst in people. I don't see why you care, your team sucks to begin with  (newsweek.com)	(47)
		Indianapolis Colts get hero's welcome from all 11 people who showed up at the airport to greet them  (indystar.com)	(59)
(Some Bad Pilot)		This plane crash was an unauthorized landing. Please, please remember to get prior authorization before crashing your plane into people's yard. Thank you  (gwinnettdailypost.com)	(45)
		It's probably not the best idea to re-name the bus route through the heart of an Asian community the "yellow line". Some people take offense to that sort of thing  (ajc.com)	(241)

		San Francisco finally steps up to help the people of Haiti  (jamesfallows.theatlantic.com)	(133)
		Think Washington is full of people with the class of used car salesmen already? Well don't look now but the Republican Party is recruiting used car salesmen to run for office this year  (online.wsj.com)	(35)
(Some Guy)		Scientists are one step closer to finding a cure for aging, ensuring young people will not know the humiliation of senility but will know the thrill of dying amidst a hunger and disease-strewn, overcrowded world  (montrealgazette.com)	(122)
		Government employees and former bankers (the only people with any money left) are buying vast quantities luxury goods and cognac. This is good news  (ft.com)	(46)
(Digitalspy)		Heather Mills wants to produce a TV show about people with disabilities. Guess she hasn't heard Jersey Shore's coming back for a second season    (digitalspy.co.uk)	(23)

(Some Guy)		Everyone should have a hobby. But that hobby should probably not involve running around a nightclub parking lot naked and high, starting fights with people  (citizensvoice.com)	(34)
		Church invites non-Christian people to anonymously attend services and afterwards complete a survey. "The service feels like a late night talk show gone bad."  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(182)
(Some Guy)		Dr. Phil goes Full Douchebag after hearing Brittany Murphy's widower had done interviews with people other than him. "I've never seen Dr. Phil so angry"  (peoplemagazinedaily.com)	(63)

The media's getting a bit testy that Obama insists on talking directly to people, rather than through them  (nytimes.com)

(44)

		Sheriff Joe Arpaio hands over documents that will prove or disprove he racially profiled people during his controversial crime sweeps. Just kidding. A deputy shredded them all  (azcentral.com)	(215)
		Teabaggers take note: "To describe our democracy as a totalitarian regime insults the lives and memories of people that live under this and other terrible conditions."  (dailykos.com)	(170)
		Bruce Springsteen's people sue bar after cover band played Springsteen songs back in 2008. Surely, the Boss will not stand for this and side with the little people. Nah, he just wants his name removed from lawsuit  (nydailynews.com)	(15)
		Statue of President Obama as a 10-year-old boy to be removed from public park in Jakarta after people complain that he wasn't even born there. LOL - what kind of backwards country throws such a fit about where Obama was born?    (nytimes.com)	(50)
		Avatar is Godless, left-wing, environazi tripe and it's only made a billion dollars because most people in our center-right nation are too stupid to realize that  (article.nationalreview.com)	(165)
		Tea Party convention opens in Nashville, draws a whopping crowd of... 600 people? Seriously?  (abcnews.go.com)	(191)
		Liberals wouldn't have to be so condescending if people weren't so damned stupid: "Their views are correct, self-evident, and based on fact and reason, while conservative positions are not just wrong but illegitimate"  (washingtonpost.com)	(378)

		Oil prices fall on news that more people are unemployed, don't need to drive to work anymore  (cnbc.com)	(19)
		That rumor about Haiti releasing the 10 church people that were transporting kids. Forget that, they've all been formally charged for kidnapping  (msnbc.msn.com)	(537)
		Jamie Foxx knows lots of famous people and you don't, so suck it  (tv.gawker.com)	(20)
		In a surprise to absolutely no one except US Senators and people who were taught 3rd grade civics but never thought about it critically, the filibuster has actually never been a good idea  (yglesias.thinkprogress.org)	(245)
		Arcade Fire licenses song to the Super Bowl to help numb people to the Haiti disaster  (pastemagazine.com)	(13)
		Two-thirds of British people believe that the leader of the BNP is a fat cartoon character of a man prone to making ridiculously stupid statements. The rest of them believe he's Peter Griffin  (telegraph.co.uk)	(18)
		Burgeoning love story interrupted as man shoots up bar with birds that fly out of a gun and carry off peoples' heads -- "I Say Fever" by Ramona Falls. Who says they don't make good music videos anymore?  (youtube.com)	(10)

		Child porn victim, raped at age 8, would like to be paid for all those pictures and videos people have downloaded of her  (boingboing.net)	(570)
		Man wins lengthy legal battle to save dogs from death after they attacked people. Dogs thank him by mauling him to death  (cnews.canoe.ca)	(263)
		Academy admits that they nominated higher than usual number of flicks for Best Picture in hopes of getting more people to watch the Oscars  (online.wsj.com)	(44)
(Bama Web Cam)		Today is National Signing Day when high school football players officially decide where to play in college. How big has it gotten? Alabama has a webcam set up on their fax machine so people can see when "letters of intent" come in  (all-access.cbssports.com)	(75)
		AOL reports a Q4 2009 profit on news that there are some really dumb people in this world  (hosted.ap.org)	(32)
		Just because you have a t-shirt that says "US Marshal" and a Fu Manchu mustache doesn't mean you can go around deporting people. Oh, and take off your fake badge and gun when you go to the police department for questioning  (pe.com)	(71)
		Rahm Emmanuel will host a group of special needs people at the White House. The hard part will be telling them apart from the Congressional delegations    (blogs.wsj.com)	(74)

		About seventy percent of people use the same password at their bank as they do everywhere else on the 'tubes. God, Sex, Money still top three most common passwords? You submitted this with a better Hackers reference  (redtape.msnbc.com)	(266)
(Some Upriser)		Muse says the only reason people in the US know of them is because of Twilight. It's going to be fun to see how the cool kids try and reconcile this one  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(133)
		As the recession takes its toll, more people stay home and drink cheaper booze  (cleveland.com)	(306)
		Exposure to luxury can make people more self-interested and less ethical, according to impoverished researchers  (calgaryherald.com)	(43)
		Is the use of Confederate Flags in the teabagger protests a vile appeal to a treasonous threat in defense of a horrible ideology, or merely a pawn used by people too stupid to know what it means?  (yglesias.thinkprogress.org)	(389)
(KTLA)		Mayor of Lancaster, CA tells townspeople to vote for daily prayers at city council meetings to "grow a Christian community." Hilarity ensues  (ktla.com)	(204)

		People in Colorado are starving because they can't get their food stamps on time. With picture of what a starving American looks like  (denverpost.com)	(474)
		Brain scans reveal how psychological disorder causes some to perceive themselves as ugly. People not you, obviously  (scientificamerican.com)	(85)
		At 10:23 on January 30th 2010 thousands of people took part in the largest mass suicide attempt in history  (youtube.com)	(34)
		Can something called the "world's hardest endurance test" really be taken seriously if dozens of people compete in it dressed as candy?  (dailymail.co.uk)	(53)
(Someone Who Overstimates her Worth)		Ke$ha claims she is nothing ike Lady Gaga or Katy Perry. Yeah, that's pretty much true; after all, people can stand to listen to Gaga and Perry  (digitalspy.com)	(99)
		"Many people ask me whether the Democrats are in as much trouble as they were in 1994. The numbers suggest they are in much deeper trouble"  (washingtonexaminer.com)	(435)
(Some Guy)		New musical about teenage sexuality, featuring nudity and simulated sex acts, opens in Fort Myers. Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this  (winknews.com)	(54)
(Some Guy)		Okay, reasonable people can disagree about POTUS bowing to an Emperor. But the mayor of Tampa?  (ace.mu.nu)	(251)

(Albany Times Union)

Good Samaritan stops to help injured people after taxi flips over. Just kidding, he robbed it while the people were trapped inside  (timesunion.com)

(29)

		'How Bad For The Environment Can Throwing Away One Plastic Bottle Be?' 30 Million People Wonder  (theonion.com)	(44)
		Throw out your Monopoly board, it's for squares and your old man. The NEW Monopoly is where it's at. It's CIRCULAR, people... CIRCULAR  (gizmodo.com)	(180)
		Ric Romero reports people use more coupons when they have less money. Next week plans to break news that some shoppers prefer sales to paying full price  (cnn.com)	(9)
		"Why do people often vote against their own interests?" Democrat African-Americans and gay Republicans unavailable for comment  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(118)
(Ynet)		Hot IDF chicks- breaking the silence of the systematic cruel violence, killing of innocent people and cover-ups in the Occupied territories. Farkers show up just to watch their butts jiggle when they write on the dry erase boards  (ynetnews.com)	(88)

		James O'Keefe finally breaks his silence: "On reflection, I could have used a different approach to this investigation, particularly given the sensitivities that people understandably have about security in a federal building."  (bighollywood.breitbart.com)	(250)
		Smart people support Obama  (news.yahoo.com)	(330)
		Get Rich Quick seminar is actually a scam to get other people rich on your money. Who knew?  (cbc.ca)	(57)
		1400 people airlifted from Machu Picchu after flooding cuts off all access. Tourists say flight over ruins was "more than we bargained for." Over Machu Picchu? "No...I don't think I'll ever get over Machu Picchu"  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(162)
		Good news for the lardasses -- if you make it to 70 without dying, you're better off than thin people  (labspaces.net)	(24)

(RWN)		While the left was quick to accuse Gov. McDonnell of selecting the people behind him during GOP response for their 'diversity,' it turns out they're his Cabinet  (rightwingnews.com)	(116)
		GM trying to lure Toyota customers who are worried about recall, figuring people prefer to buy a car that they KNOW is a piece of crap rather than finding out later  (money.cnn.com)	(117)
		Bollywood to get its first ever gay kiss. Unsurprisingly, some people are making a big song and dance about this    (entertainment.timesonline.co.uk)	(34)

(Some Snobby Guy)		Stupid people watch more TV  (collisiondetection.net)	(144)
		Press secretary Gibbs says "The president is going to explain why he thinks the American people are angry and frustrated," He will then point at 535 people seated in front of him, then at himself  (abcnews.go.com)	(283)
		News: Quebec MDs volunteer to go to Haiti to help people in the disaster stricken country. Fark: They still want to get paid  (cbc.ca)	(92)
		With people suffering in Haiti, people losing jobs, and health care in the toliet, there's always a glimmer of hope...if you're a spray-tanned Italian from Jersey  (gawker.com)	(78)
		NBC didn't think Conan O'Brien's feelings would be hurt from being fired from "The Tonight Show," proving yet again that NBC is run by Lizard People from the Planet Facepalm  (mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com)	(83)
		Director of Saw 6 on being forced to make Saw 7: "I just had the task of telling my mother that I'm not ... allowed to direct the movie we were all so excited about ... Yes, I'll be filming people getting tortured YET AGAIN"  (denofgeek.com)	(102)

(NY Observer)		Tired of people getting their news for free, Newsday puts its web site behind a pay wall for $5 a week. After three months, they have a grand total of 35 paying customers  (observer.com)	(195)
(Access Hollywood)		The Hope for Haiti celebrity PR fest was viewed by 83 million people who wanted to see how chubby Leonardo DiCaprio is getting  (accesshollywood.com)	(26)
		The weirdest things people try to smuggle past airport customs from the typical "cocaine in the bra" to the unconventional "two full-length uncooked cow legs"  (myfoxdc.com)	(79)
(TV Squad)		The president is black, the New Orleans Saints are in the Super Bowl, and the History Channel just gave Larry the Cable Guy a TV show. We are through the looking glass here, people  (tvsquad.com)	(90)

		Republican about RNC "census" mailer, "Of course, duping people is the point. That's one of the reasons why it works so well"  (politico.com)	(73)
		Self-help expert who killed three people in a sweat lodge evades answers and talks nonsense about "spiritual warriors," "body purges," and "the female orgasm"  (gawker.com)	(166)
(Dallas News)		Were you burned by the housing bust? Do you owe over $100,000? You can turn that debt into a lucrative income stream. This is not some get rich quick scam, real people have made real money by becoming "credit terrorists"  (dallasobserver.com)	(333)

		Radiohead to play for Haiti, which is great because after what happened, those people could really use a nice, long nap    (contactmusic.com)	(36)
		Harley-Davidson posts first quarterly loss since 1993 amid reports that people weathering a recession don't have spare cash to waste on poorly-built overpriced crap  (businessweek.com)	(118)
(Some Guy)		Brett Favre is a game away from leading the Vikings to a Super Bowl, Ted Kennedy's Senate seat now belongs to a Republican, and Jon Stewart just utterly thrashed Keith Olbermann. We are through the looking-glass here, people  (videos.mediaite.com)	(189)
		Want to scare the living crap out of people by appearing to cut yourself with a knife? It's easy with science  (liveleak.com)	(36)

		President Obama congratulates Brown on a fine campaign. Just kidding, he blames Bush for the voters not picking a Democrat. "People are angry and they are frustrated because of what's happened over the last eight years"  (abcnews.go.com)	(220)
		"Many people would be surprised to learn that the US already has a strong cricketing heritage."  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(61)
(Some Non-Hipster Musicians)		Vampire Weekend have the number one bestselling album in America, proving lots of people give a fark about an Oxford comma  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(48)

		Who DOESN'T like Avatar? Meet all 5 people  (abcnews.go.com)	(177)
		People who descrbe themselves as "spiritual but not religious" are just trying to get laid  (canada.com)	(335)
(The Pulse)		Hospital decides to lead by example by hiring only healthy people, will employ only vegetarians with low cholesterol, blood pressure and body fat index. Just kidding, they're singling out those evil smokers  (chattanoogapulse.com)	(331)
		Soul Asylum is selling all their gear on Craigslist. It's expected to sell quickly to people who want to prevent Soul Asylum from ever using it again    (minneapolis.craigslist.org)	(93)

		Tell me if you've heard this before: Mel Gibson's next movie will be a historical epic set in a bloody, violent culture and will be filmed in the native, extinct language of those people  (slashfilm.com)	(169)
		Citigroup loses $7.6B in 4Q so it can repay TARP and pay bonuses to people who make decisions like this  (abcnews.go.com)	(49)

(Some Guy)		We've secretly replaced these people's flu vaccine with insulin shots. Let's see if they notice  (www2.newsadvance.com)	(53)
		How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Enough to save six people for 50 hours  (cnn.com)	(42)

		If the GOP wins the Massachussetts Senate seat, it will not only be a vindication of the nihilistic and destructive strategy of obstructionism, but it will be final proof that the American people don't deserve to keep their republic  (andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com)	(533)
		Talentless bimbo from The Hills gets 10 plastic surgeries at once. For the 2 people who care, here come the Before and After photos  (huffingtonpost.com)	(95)

		What are the odds that two people going to the same high school would be driving white Volvos and would hide the keys in the same spot? Pretty good, actually  (seacoastonline.com)	(86)
		People really, really like covering that "Pants on the Ground" song  (youtube.com)	(22)

		Iran vows to stop mollycoddling protesters, will now kill them plus their families plus their friends PLUS their families AND 10 random people  (nytimes.com)	(127)
		Obama is disconnected from the concerns of the people, in much the same way Saturn's moons are disconnected from Madonna's nipples  (online.wsj.com)	(221)
		Heroic Democratic People's Republic of Korea generously offers to assist imperialist running dog lackey stooges of south Korea in disposing of their corrupt food surplus  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(101)
		Karl Rove: Americans learned last year that President Obama discards campaign promises like most people discard used Kleenex  (online.wsj.com)	(213)
		Kiefer Sutherland: "People that I'm actually flying with say, 'Oh, I feel safer on the plane with you.' I'm thinking, 'You must not watch the show because everybody around me gets killed' "  (contactmusic.com)	(58)

(Some Guy)		Full-frontal Gary Coleman nudity and Scottie Pippen getting beaten up by a clan of little people, all in one movie? Pffft, and you thought Christmas was over  (coedmagazine.com)	(27)
(Some Guy)		University researcher studies cat people versus dog people. Still no cure for science  (kvue.com)	(65)

		"While it goes without saying that the vast majority of people have the good sense not to take their vehicles on to frozen waterways..."  (dailymail.co.uk)	(47)
		3 out of 4 people doing Federal Government work are actually private contractors, who are on facebook, twitter, and Fark for 6 out of the 8 hours of their workday  (huffingtonpost.com)	(123)
		Beverly Hills is going to kick non-resident, or so-called "permit students" in kindergarden through 8th grade students out of their schools. Some people seem to have a problem with this  (news.yahoo.com)	(159)
		No Sh*t Sherlock Institute reports that most people are happiest on days without work  (usatoday.com)	(66)

		Pioneer's new Pandora-enabled car stereo may prove to be death blow to Sirius XM, as people become reluctant to pay for privilege of listening to satellite radio programmers' crappy taste in music  (thestreet.com)	(125)
		It appears that sometimes the right of the people to peaceably assemble is best conducted out of view  (startribune.com)	(70)
		Fed finalizes new rules to make it harder for people under 21 to rent cars, get hotel rooms, or sign up for TotalFark  (news.yahoo.com)	(75)
		Transformers 3 to start filming in May will "focus more on the characters, particularly the relationship between Sam and Bumblebee," instead of being a loud, dumb movie with robots fighting, even though that's all people want  (cinematical.com)	(95)
		TV weatherman attempting to scare people about the dangers of thin ice fails miserably  (break.com)	(25)
(Some Guy)		"(N)ot only unique but superior," that its citizens are "a chosen people, divinely ordained to lead the world to betterment... " Nazi Germany? Imperial Japan? No, try Texas  (texastribune.org)	(142)
(Sci-Fi Wire)		Country-by-country breakdown of Avatar's $1.3 billion gross. Apparently, the French and Russians really love giant blue cat people  (scifiwire.com)	(90)
		"Charging people $500.00 plus the costs of travel and lodging to go to a National Tea Party Convention run by a for profit group no one has ever heard of sounds as credible as an email from Nigeria," should be a resounding success  (talkingpointsmemo.com)	(185)

		James Taylor, Carole King announce 40th anniversary reunion tour. In other news, only people more than 55 years old know who Carole King or James Taylor is  (abcnews.go.com)	(76)
		The head White House economic adviser says despite disappointing jobs report last week, she expects better employment by spring, which is when new people will be hired to feed the unicorn herds and tend to the fairy gardens  (marketwatch.com)	(70)

(Some Uptight Guy)		"People are not facing the fact that porn is dangerous to the core. It sucks every bit of truth, contentment, honesty, character, loyalty, and reality out of the mind and soul of the one plugging into it"  (kpxq1360.com)	(600)
		Dr. Herbert Spiegel, credited with treating pain, anxiety and various addictions by placing people in trances may - or may not - be dead  (nytimes.com)	(30)
		Nanny State: At this rate the people of the UK won't be able to handle anything sharper than a marble and more pointed than a 2x4  (news.sky.com)	(302)

(Daily Telegraph)		Horrified reporters find some people drive as fast as 70 mph in a 55 zone on the freeway. It's like the country is full of criminals  (dailytelegraph.com.au)	(223)
		Europe's current cold snap is so severe, that even the Norwegians-the ancestors of the people that voluntarily migrated to Minnesota-are complaining  (news.yahoo.com)	(223)
		Good News: The unemployment rate hasn't gone up. Bad News: because so many people have just given up and quit looking  (businessweek.com)	(107)

		Robert Gibbs finally answers the most pressing question of the day: "I don't foresee a scenario in which millions people who hope to finally get some conclusion with 'Lost' are preempted by the president."  (huffingtonpost.com)	(60)
(Some Guy)		British club offers half price cover to the "first 50 sluts" at the door. Some people took issue with this, probably because they got there late  (morningadvertiser.co.uk)	(38)
		It would be a good thing if more people chose to voluntarily default on their mortgages  (nytimes.com)	(254)
		Crabby neighbors complain about Norah Jones' home-improvement plans, including windows and a swimming pool. In other news, some people have a problem with Norah Jones in a swimsuit  (nypost.com)	(32)
		When some people see men out on a frozen pond fishing from a stretch limo, they ask, "why?" Andy Giza asks, "why not?"  (telegram.com)	(49)
(Some Guy)		Real guy who plays a fake guy on an online game steals fake money that is worth a lot of real money and gives it away to a bunch of fake characters that are played by a bunch of real people. He could be in fake....real trouble  (gamenewshq.com)	(130)

		85 people get sick from salmonella linked to pet frogs. Fortunately none of them croaked  (sltrib.com)	(38)
		Married people have to pay more than single people under rules in health care bills. As if they weren't punished enough  (online.wsj.com)	(123)

		Doctor decides that Mona Lisa had high cholesterol. Because if there's one thing better for society than curing cancer, its diagnosing irrelevant medical problems in people who've been dead for 500 years  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(48)
(Greenwich Time)		Townspeople oppose erecting cell tower in Mianus  (greenwichtime.com)	(83)
		People who actually know something about the female vagina say British study dismissing g-spot is flawed  (abcnews.go.com)	(127)
		Attacker kills man after sharing beers with him. Of Coors, the thug wasn't the victim's Bud, so what Foster's this kind of brutality in people? Let's not beat around the Busch. He may have had a Pabst history of mental illness  (news.com.au)	(83)
(Geekology)		Yet another Avatar thread, but this time it's not about all the money it has made. No, it's a forum for people depressed that a fictional movie is fictional  (avatar-forums.com)	(172)

		KFC: Helping You Survive "Awkward" Black People Since 1952 (link fixed)  (news.com.au)	(335)
		ESPN plans to unveil "ESPN 3D" network in time for this summer's World Cup, allowing fans to see soccer players as the blue catpeople with bad hair they truly are  (usatoday.com)	(54)
		People with restless legs don't have it so hard, study says  (abcnews.go.com)	(178)
		In show business, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the execs who renewed "Law & Order" for a record-breaking 21st season and the viewers who say, "That show is still on?"  (aintitcool.com)	(183)
(Some Guy)		Look, folks, the Smiley emocon has been around since the 40s. Stop trying to act like you invented it and stop suing people for using it. Mmkay? :)  (thepittsburghchannel.com)	(136)

		"Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded." Good thing Fark only requires a one drink minimum  (news.sky.com)	(lots)
(Courthouse News)		Judge can't figure out why someone has a problem with his policy of randomly selecting people out of his courtroom and submitting them to an involuntary drug screening. "It's a routine policy of the court"  (courthousenews.com)	(202)
		Man robs shoe store with a large rock. This would never happen if more people were allowed to carry concealed paper    (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(74)
(NME)		Deluded Andrew WK thinks that people actually care whether or not he's a "genuine" musician or a byproduct of industry manipulation. It would help if anyone had ever actually heard of him  (nme.com)	(86)
		SLC Mayor: Let's put bars in neighborhoods that people can walk to. Mormons & MADD: Think of the children  (cnn.com)	(157)
		This guy REALLY wanted to be on peopleofwalmart.com  (news.cincinnati.com)	(110)
		People with names beginning with D live shorter lives, have life long poor self-esteem, and are born to poor parents. Drew Curtis says goddamnit so much  (dailymail.co.uk)	(165)

(NME)

Coldplay raises over $400,000 for charity with their eBay auction of rare band memorabilia. They can probably raise even more if they threaten to disclose the names of people who bought said merchandise  (nme.com)

(14)

		Death toll in attack on Pakistan volleyball game nears 100, which is incredible because that means 100 people were watching a volleyball game  (cbsnews.com)	(82)
(Some Guy)		Parents tattoo six of their kids at home, are surprised that some people had a problem with this. Bonus: "Oh should I not have done that?" vid  (wrcbtv.com)	(341)
		Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper's suspension of Parliament has apparently upset at least a few people. Canadian Farkers click to the right, the rest of you move along and stop coveting our Tim Hortons  (upi.com)	(100)

		U.S. taxpayers to lose up to $400 billion providing the "American Dream" to people living above their means. Or, 2/3 of the yearly Defense Budget  (businessweek.com)	(65)
		Home invaders take pants from 11 people, suspects described as appearing Haggard  (southtownstar.com)	(53)
		Here are your new cast members of The Real World: DC. Jesus, I hate these people already  (gawker.com)	(43)
(nymag.com)		In today's episode of People Reading Way Too Much Into Things, we learn that 30 Rock hates the Philippines  (nymag.com)	(30)
		The taboo question in Israel: "If anybody treated us like we're treating the people in Gaza, what would we do?"  (jpost.com)	(310)
		Bali's banging New Year's party to explode with fun and get people fired up  (abcnews.go.com)	(34)
		Women who play video games tend to game harder, and with more people  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(234)
(Some Guy)		Safeway grocery store leaves their doors unlocked on Christmas by accident. Police find people shopping and leaving cash on the counter. No shoplifting or looting occured  (weaselzippers.net)	(155)

		Mother sues jail for putting her precious snowflake near violent people who don't like sex offenders  (calgaryherald.com)	(243)
		British survey discovers what Americans already knew: people on conference calls are sitting around at home naked, waiting for someone with a sexy voice to talk for a while  (walesonline.co.uk)	(11)

		Teen nearly killed in mosh pit incident at a Thy Art is Murder concert. Since no one knows who the hell they are, it's not a big deal...but of course this leads to people wanting to ban mosh pits  (contactmusic.com)	(51)
		It holds 10 to 22 people, takes two-hour tours and contains 30 liters of beer: Welcome aboard the Amsterdam beer bike  (news.yahoo.com)	(68)
		Most exciting scientific discoveries of the decade according to, um, some really, really smart people  (telegraph.co.uk)	(42)
		Nelly offers a $10,000 reward for info leading to the arrest of whoever broke into his St. Louis home last month. The three people who were at home when it happened are ineligible, of course  (starpulse.com)	(16)

Quote of the Year: " Of course, TSA is not going to be feeling-up people's scrotums anytime soon"  (jeffreygoldberg.theatlantic.com)

(87)

		Police forced to drop 'Christmas' from poster advertising their increased public presence over holidays in case it upsets atheists or other militants who can't bear to hear that people believe in religions other than theirs  (dailymail.co.uk)	(232)
		Nanny State bans Bingo phrases like 'two fat ladies 88' and 'legs 11' due to fear of lawsuits. "What's the alternative, 'two generously proportioned people of either gender?' It's not very snappy."  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(61)

		You would think by now people would know better than to buy anything from Best Buy  (consumerist.com)	(93)
		Warren Buffett's Berkshire Hathaway Inc. eliminated 21,000 jobs this year; some people claim that there's a woman to blame but he knows it's his own damn fault  (businessweek.com)	(41)

(Some Guy)

You're drunk, you're hungry, and you think a dude stole your wallet at a diner. Do you: c) start stabbing people with your fork?  (kitsapsun.com)

(35)

(Some Guy)		Here is your Oregon tsunami evacuation map. Basically, residents should flee to anywhere that isn't Oregon, like the smart people did years ago  (geology.com)	(56)
		The 20 most powerful people in Science Fiction (one pic NSFW)  (io9.com)	(169)

		The top 13 people that politicians should not have had sex with in the 2000's. Todd Palin strangely absent  (gawker.com)	(26)
		New discoveries in biology show vegans are just as blood thirsty and amoral as people with taste buds  (nytimes.com)	(61)

		Freshman Dem congressman from VA: "My ultimate goal is not to get reelected. It's to know that I did the best damn job I could representing the people of the 5th District and making a difference."  (washingtonpost.com)	(107)
		Island of Vanatu was populated 3,000 years by people without heads, making them the root genetic ancestors of... members of Congress? Dancing with the Stars viewers? Sports fans in Philadelphia? So many jokes, so little headline  (sciencedaily.com)	(37)
		Like those weirdos who prefer scratched vinyl records to CDs and gas-guzzling Hummers to hybrids, some people prefer the old-style trip-the-fuse-every-10-minutes Christmas lights  (3news.co.nz)	(89)

		Nanny State bans town from bringing reindeer to a mall because it might snow and people looking at the reindeer could slip and fall. "With or without the reindeer the streets were still icy"  (dailymail.co.uk)	(80)
		Avatar follows in the footsteps of District 9 and countless other films, in that its a movie about white guilt, and the desire of white people to become parts of other races, but only if they can still control them  (io9.com)	(327)
		"Sewers are only meant to take away water, toilet tissue and poo. Turkey fat is a big 'no no' because it blocks drains and results in sewage flooding into people's homes which is just horrible" (w/ music video)  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(33)
(Some Guy)		British Crimestoppers hotline staff "gobsmacked" by flood of bizarre calls linked to recent cold weather, from people complaining about drunken mall Santas to an obscene snowman "which featured an extra carrot"  (24dash.com)	(42)
		The wHitE houSe ThoUght People hID communIcaTions BURied iN the newS  (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(119)

		Just in time for the holidays, an ad that is capable of making people think long and hard before driving impaired (Graphic Content)  (youtube.com)	(123)
		Sen. Ben Nelson bought off for number 60. Democrats are now free to subvert the will of the American people  (foxnews.com)	(lots)
(Some Guy)		Civic Christmas display takes people back 350 years when Christmas was illegal, featuring burned Christmas trees, impaled robins and severed heads choking on mince pies. Submitter wishes he lived in those times, but now he's off to the mall  (yorkpress.co.uk)	(123)

		A Real Guitar for People Raised on Guitar Hero. The Dumbing Down has Started  (wired.com)	(121)
		Bottled water industry shocked - shocked - that people in a down economy are less inclined to pay more per gallon for tapwater than gasoline  (msnbc.msn.com)	(77)
		Once again for the slow people who haven't quite grasped it: If you're distributing a magazine for 9-12 year olds, just take the time to double check there's no references to hardcore pornography in it  (thelocal.se)	(44)
		Neighboring bingo halls battle for customers. "It gives people something to do that's not the bar scene"  (nwfdailynews.com)	(27)
		As more and more people are using technology for their everyday social needs, the demand for professional hand jobs is skyrocketing  (gizmodo.com)	(62)

		Nova Scotia premier sends a Christmas card with a photo of him and his spouse. Some people have a problem with this for some reason  (cbc.ca)	(108)
		New radio ratings system discovers that people lie about what they listen to. Subby's looking at you, metalhead in the car next to me singing, "Yeah-ah-ah, it's a party in the U-S-A"  (nytimes.com)	(65)
(Some Guy)		America's Sheriff says "People everywhere deserve a little Christmas cheer. Especially those incarcerated during the holiday season." Not surprisingly some inmates have a problem with this  (wbaltv.com)	(156)
		The 10 most irritating, obnoxious, attention-whoring people of 2009  (theglobeandmail.com)	(300)
(One News Now)		Gay Republican group wants to sponsor popular conservative political conference. Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this  (onenewsnow.com)	(232)

(Some Guy)		People are already pointing out that Ben Bernake deserved to be named Time's Person of the Year about as much as Barack Obama deserved to win the Nobel Peace Prize  (prospectmagazine.co.uk)	(187)
		British banks about to phase out checks. For you youngsters, checks are pieces of paper that people used to use to buy LP records, camera film and leaded gasoline  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(68)
		Canadian healthcare still better than U.S., except for that little glitch where old people have to divorce in order to afford nursing homes  (cbc.ca)	(207)

		Paste picks their top 25 albums of 2009...and their number one choice comes out of nowhere. But we can still biatch that Animal Collective placed so high. Seriously, what the hell do people see in that album?  (pastemagazine.com)	(178)
		Not news: Man hit by train, killed. Fark: Train was a dinner theater murder mystery train full of shocked old people. With pic  (wtsp.com)	(102)
		Executive in charge of Accenture Match Play Championship reiterates tourney's no-Tiger-no-refund policy to ticketholders. "We are hoping people are buying a ticket to an event and not an individual"  (azstarnet.com)	(32)

		Some people think Steven Seagal is a douchebag. But here are seven things that make him an AWESOME douchebag  (spike.com)	(86)
		In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police who investigate crime and the batshiat insane district attorney that sees French Liberalism ruining Law & Order  (bighollywood.breitbart.com)	(51)
		"At this point, Lieberman seems primarily motivated by torturing liberals. That is to say, he seems willing to cause the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people in order to settle an old electoral score"  (voices.washingtonpost.com)	(366)
		1900: Electricity should go to people who had money, not hooked up willy-nilly to everyone. 2009: Broadband should go to people who have money, not hooked up willy-nilly to everyone  (hardware.slashdot.org)	(98)
(Some Guy)		Police hope new 'tattoo camera' will help them solve crimes committed by people with tattoos - or in other words, nearly all crimes  (belfasttelegraph.co.uk)	(35)

(Press Democrat)		City designates "bicycle boulevard", a unique type of road where bicycles are allowed and drivers are supposed to pass them only when safe. You bet people have a problem with this  (pressdemocrat.com)	(349)
(Some Guy)		New York State offers poor people all the cancer they can carry by reserving screening programs for people with money  (berkshireeagle.com)	(71)
		New study confirms that some people do exhibit 'werewolf' tendencies during a full moon. "Some of these patients attacked the staff like animals by biting, spitting and scratching."  (news.com.au)	(99)
		Miss World 2009 comes from a country that does not exist. Perhaps if more people had access to maps and like, such as, this wouldn't have happened  (news.yahoo.com)	(161)

Sure, infrared cameras help you see through people's clothes. But there are other heavenly bodies out there, y'know  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

(10)

		Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) on the Obama Administration: "these people are not connected to reality"  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(134)
		Allowing people age 55-64 to buy Medicare will be a disaster of adverse selection and doom the whole system: "If the Titanic is sinking, the last thing you want to do is to put Grandma and more of your family on the boat"  (nytimes.com)	(167)
		Nanny State admits that it has a policy of not encouraging bright students in school because it makes them think they're smarter than other people and that's "elitism"  (dailymail.co.uk)	(257)

		India to hold its own version of Grammys, with awards including 'Best sitar instrumental' and 'Best video starring a man and woman who appear to kiss but really don't"  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(13)
		Forty-four percent of Americans see China as the world's leading economic power. And they're dopes: "People who think this are crazy. Or, to be more gentle, they are really woefully misinformed about what the world is like"  (jamesfallows.theatlantic.com)	(191)
		R Kelly gives stripped-down show, dribbles something on the fly, leaves a few people pissed  (stltoday.com)	(20)
		Obama demands Republicans stop scaring people, saying that's Democrats' job. Besides, he has charts showing everything is improving. As every Farker knows, charts bring stupid arguments to a screeching halt  (thehill.com)	(105)

		What do you mean "you people?"  (politico.com)	(199)
(Flavorwire)		It's hard to admit, but what some people thought would be "The Jimmy Fallon Nervous Giggle and Awkward Audience Silence Hour" has actually turned out to be pretty cool  (flavorwire.com)	(92)
		Bruce Springsteen supports gay marrige, adds that people are born gay, to run  (starpulse.com)	(54)
		Wells Fargo forecloses on animal shelter, refuses to let the building's owner tend to the animals, and basically lets the animals fend for themselves. You bet some people have a problem with this  (consumerist.com)	(236)

		"Food swaps" catching on among groups whose members enjoy cooking large batches of food and swapping them with other people who have similarly laughable ideas of sanitation and food safety  (theglobeandmail.com)	(96)
		Squirrel knocks out power to 9,000 people in Ohio (w/ pic of what squirrels celebrating a major power outage in Ohio might look like)  (blog.cleveland.com)	(89)
(Houston Press)		Lawyer sues soup kitchen for serving homeless people too close to his office. Have yourself a NIMBY little Christmas  (blogs.houstonpress.com)	(411)
		The Obama administration's attitude is that the federal government can do good things, if only we put the best and brightest people--them--in charge of it  (online.wsj.com)	(160)
(Some Guy)		"Social networking is actually a way of keeping people at a distance - a way of having 'friends' but not having any of the commitments and duties of friendship"  (belfasttelegraph.co.uk)	(57)
		Carrier Prejean won't appear in show at midnight because it conflicts with her Christian image. Either that, or she doesn't want people to see the fangs and facial hair she develops  (nypost.com)	(77)

		And these are the people we trust to "reform" health care? Congress passes rules to stop lobbyist-paid junkets, then gets around them through loopholes  (nytimes.com)	(40)
		Jason Siegel spotted leaving Lindsay Lohan's Big hOuse On saTurdaY morning, so now people aCtuALLy think they're dating  (starpulse.com)	(52)
		Classic pictures of people drinking. This is what Fark parties looked like before the Interweb  (todayspictures.slate.com)	(102)

		Some people lift huge weights. Some people pull trains with their teeth. And then there's this guy (w/cringeworthy photo)  (metro.co.uk)	(86)
(azfamily.com)		Every summer, countless number of people from Arizona travel to San Diego. In return, every winter San Diego police direct countless number of homeless people to go to Arizona. "I hear Phoenix is nice this time of year."  (azfamily.com)	(82)
		Scientists and lawyers ponder whether people will become attached to the household robots that later slaughter them  (chron.com)	(57)
(Foster's Daily Democrat)		Thief forgets that most people who make their escape by bicycle 1) aren't drunk, and 2) aren't carrying a stolen christmas tree  (fosters.com)	(14)

		"Some Australians are up in arms over a new kangaroo and emu-flavored chip, horrified that people are encouraged to eat the nation's coat of arms which depicts the iconic Australian animals"  (uk.news.yahoo.com)	(60)
		What death metal sounds like to most people  (youtube.com)	(32)

		Portia De Rossi fears that being gay may have a less than fabulous effect, affect, eff, aff....ahhhh Portia De Rossi is worried people won't like her because she's gay  (starpulse.com)	(58)
		In honor Eric Woolfson's passing, here's Alan Parsons Project's "Games People Play"  (youtube.com)	(14)
		"People are still whining over the fact that a handful of mediocre actors and hack writers were blacklisted 60 years ago because they were, for the most part, unrepentant Communists whose allegiance was to the evil Soviet Union"  (bighollywood.breitbart.com)	(242)
		Glacier threatens capital city of Bolivia, sparking warnings that people may one day have to walk for their lives    (news.bbc.co.uk)	(17)
(Smilin' Sepp Blatter)		Today, millions of people will wait anxiously to see if they just got screwed by Charlize Theron. It's your 2010 World Cup final draw thread  (fifa.com)	(435)

		Alton Brown: "Celebrity chefs are the high priests of the food craze that is partly responsible for the fattening of America. We helped people get into this mess. I don't see why we shouldn't help get them out"  (time.com)	(123)
		Concerned citizens of San Francisco: People are having sex outside at the leather fair. Leather men: Then we'll put up "sex tents." City supervisor: Sounds good to me  (sfgate.com)	(264)
(Some Guy)		The worst sci-fi movies of the decade, including "Red Planet" and "Mission to Mars." "This is why we shouldn't go to Mars: It makes people stupid"  (blogs.amctv.com)	(218)
		Screw you, loafers, homeless people and wishing wells  (mainstreet.com)	(176)
		"In fact, our findings suggest that online social networking profiles convey rather accurate images of the profile owners, either because people aren't trying to look good or because they are trying and failing to pull it off."  (upi.com)	(61)
		Obama meeting with business leaders and economists today for a "jobs summit." At least there will be jobs created for the people who cook and distribute catered lunches  (money.cnn.com)	(87)
		Gold hits $1,225 per ounce on news that some people actually think fiat currency is a thing of the past  (marketwatch.com)	(221)
		Denver voters asked to approve a welcoming panel for extraterrestrials. Surprisingly some people are not amused by this  (latimes.com)	(41)
		Why buying Christmas presents for other people is stupid and a waste of money if you look at it from an economic point of view. And this economist has spent 15 years doing just that  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(42)

		GE decides to focus on making products people want, will spin off NBC    (msnbc.msn.com)	(40)
		Barbara Walters picks the 10 most annoying celebs that people just wish would go away and labels them "fascinating"  (starpulse.com)	(57)
(Some Guy)		The top Christmas gifts for people who own a Wii. Inexplicably, 'a better gaming system' not among them  (techradar.com)	(189)
		Jesus Christ, what some people will do to get out of jury duty  (content.usatoday.net)	(130)

(My Fox Maine)

Some people listed in Maine's sex-offender registry may be about to get off  (myfoxmaine.com)

(63)

		For the last time, people - if you're going to rob the Wendy's drive-thru, make sure your mom isn't working that night  (msnbc.msn.com)	(80)
		Archeologists find evidence of the first people to get the hell out of Detroit  (canada.com)	(13)
(Some Guy)		Not News: People steal video-game account information. News: It's a crime. Fark: The police arrest someone for it  (sophos.com)	(38)
(Some Guy)		Some guy sues because people have been photoshopping his mugshot  (phillyburbs.com)	(287)
		British Royal Society puts 60 of the most important research papers ever written online to remind people there was a time when scientists didn't just make stuff up and throw out their raw data  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(127)
		Church finds success using football to bring people to God, because football is real and can change people's lives  (nj.com)	(106)
		New Zealand church fined for using cell phone jammers so people's phones don't go off during services. Tag is for the church  (earthtimes.org)	(171)

		Tiger Woods lashes out at people speculating about the causes of his car crash, tells them to STFU & GBTW  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(106)
		People are tired of bailouts, big spending, unchecked corruption, and being told their values are politically incorrect. "Even with the best of intentions, government almost always does more harm than good."  (realclearpolitics.com)	(340)
		Dave Grohl: "Fark Twitter. That's the biggest waste of time. If people got their head out of their ass, they might farking get out and accomplish something." Um... that's more than 140 characters, Dave  (contactmusic.com)	(46)

		Australians gratefully accept gift of pair of giant pandas from China, saying they are thrilled to finally have an couple of animals in Australia that can't kill people with its venom  (iol.co.za)	(27)
(Some Guy)		Meet the multi-colored rainbow spider, which produces a spectacular array of colors to attract a mate. People who get the heebie-jeebies from spiders need to stay the hell out of this one (pic)  (mailonsunday.co.uk)	(49)
		Thievery, caged garden gnomes and people wearing watermelons on their heads - all signs that in Canada, this is Grey Cup weekend  (nationalpost.com)	(14)
		Academics hold conference to discuss social science underlying The Wire, proving once again that some people can't enjoy the simplest things without being thrown into frenzies of analysis  (guardian.co.uk)	(44)

(Some Gator)		Family's Thanksgiving dinner winds up with four people shot to death, lots of leftovers  (wcfcourier.com)	(65)
		Microsoft's top developers say they are still old-school coders and people who use anything with the word 'Visual' in it are probably Mac jerks: "I will fight you if you try to take away my text editor"  (networkworld.com)	(144)
		Small manufacturers claim tough new U.S. toy safety rules are putting them out of business, ask when people are going to stop thinking about the children  (abcnews.go.com)	(48)
		Inspectors make an unannounced visit to Basildon University Hospital and discover 70 dead people, blood-splattered curtains, unfed elderly patients, poorly-trained nurses, and a decaying partridge in a wilting pear tree  (dailymail.co.uk)	(247)

		Homeless people ask for leftovers after town's cook-off competition. Local kid realizes they might be hungry the rest of the year, decides to do something  (blog.al.com)	(88)
		Not News: Wishing someone a happy Eid al-Adha. News: In a Best Buy ad. Fark: After you stopped wishing people Merry Christmas in those same ads in favor of Happy Holidays  (myfoxdc.com)	(238)

		An online editor observes the power of Fark: "Fark and Drudge are national sites and they attract people looking for a particular type of entertainment. It's like fishing - you go where the fish are" (4th paragraph from the end)  (tcpalm.com)	(13)
(Some Guy)		Danish media claim that swine flu is just another plot created by multinational corporations to contol people's minds, like 9/11 or Kentucky Fried Chicken  (russiatoday.com)	(39)
		Police searching for the grinch or grinches who crushed a gingerbread town containing 650 gingerbread homes. "The people who did this must be full of gingerbread dust. They will smell a long way."  (news.com.au)	(33)

		There are only two people in the world who can do this stunt. And here's one of them  (youtube.com)	(55)
		As President, I believe that robotics can inspire young people to pursue science and engineering. And I also want to keep an eye on those robots in case they try anything  (gizmodo.com)	(106)
(Apple Insider)		50% of all mobile data traffic worldwide eaten up by people downloading fart apps and 911 dialers for $0.99  (appleinsider.com)	(23)
		Recession has caused many Americans to only buy things they can afford - and pay cash. Rather than praise this, the AP is calling these people "Scrooges"  (google.com)	(94)

We might have a Monday Night Football thread. We might also have a football game in Houston that people care about. Probably not though  (google.com)

(305)

		Lots and lots of people would rather die than continue working for France Telecom  (cbsnews.com)	(158)
		Have you ever wondered exactly what people mean when they say you can see the crazy in his eyes? I bring you The Prophet Norman  (liveleak.com)	(56)