Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Sheriff's helicopter launched to help in high-speed scooter pursuit  (tcpalm.com)	(23)

NYPD detectives getting hours of overtime to retrieve their unmarked cars from the impound lot after the NYPD tows them. Brilliant  (nydailynews.com)

(47)

Sisters' argument leads to hair pulling. It's not news, it's ... no really, it's not news  (nwfdailynews.com)

(34)

(OC Register)

When are you able to get three DUI's in one year and still get to keep your job? When you're a cop, that's when  (taxdollars.freedomblogging.com)

(86)

Who has the time to take the keys out and lock up the police cruiser anymore  (myfoxdc.com)

(44)

Man has spent 34 years proving to police he's not an escaped criminal. Oh, and it was the Denver police who gave the criminal the man's identity. Oh, and the best way for the man to prove he's not the criminal? Drop his pants  (denverpost.com)

(41)

Cccopppsss rrresppponddd to cccall fffrommm wwwommmannn rrregggardddinggg ssstttrrrange nnnoisssesss cccommminggg fffrrrommm innnsssiddde hhherrr hhhoussse  (news.yahoo.com)

(31)

When searching for a flat surface to snort your drugs, always try to avoid the unmarked police cars  (stuff.co.nz)

(38)

(Some Guy)

If you've been drinking and cops pull you over for speeding, you may still be able to get out of a DUI. Until you back into the squad car  (kitsapsun.com)

(33)

		Man calls 911 to report he's being kidnapped. Police respond in seconds, as his drunk ass was in the back seat of the cop car, getting a ride home  (nj.com)	(42)
(Some Guy)		Fort Worth cops believe that gays and Mexican-Americans are more likely to be intoxicated in bars than other people  (motherjones.com)	(166)

Police arrive to see woman crying and yelling profanities as chocolate milk spills out of her pants. Just another day in your local Publix  (nwfdailynews.com)

(71)

With medical marijuana taking all the fun out of pot, kids now chewing angel's trumpet. Not quite as bad as it sounds  (latimes.com)

(241)

(Pueblo Chieftan)

After string of accidents, Pueblo, Colorado police chief orders officers to take training in how to back up a car  (chieftain.com)

(32)

Over the highway and into the woods, it's grandmothers crack we smoke  (seacoastonline.com)

(26)

Ain't no party like a Facebook party 'cause a Facebook party don't stop until your $1.5 million home is destroyed  (metro.co.uk)

(155)

NYPD leaves his marked highway patrol vehicle with a loaded shotgun inside running while he runs into a diner. What could possibly go wrong?  (nypost.com)

(81)

Police officer witnesses man on fire, leaps into action by spraying him down liberally with an industrial-sized can of pepper spray  (oregonlive.com)

(138)

Burglar accidentally Tases, handcuffs himself  (orlandosentinel.com)

(44)

Not News: Police called after three men rob a CVS drugstore. News: After fleeing police, all three men killed in wrong-way crash on interstate. Fark: the men were in their 50s and stealing Axe grooming products  (freep.com)

(83)

Got concealed gun? Check. Got permit to carry said gun? Check. Got both taken away by cop after he saw your gun, pointed his weapon in your face, discounted your "facially valid" permit and left you alone in a high crime area? Check  (examiner.com)

(579)

(Some Leadfoot)

Conservative and liberal speeders agree, Barack Hussein Obama is the best president ever  (kitv.com)

(40)

Using a police car for your getaway vehicle, +200 bonus points  (nj.com)

(33)

Report: Motorcade (2 cop cars, 8 police motorcycles) arrive at Tiger Woods estate "to escort Elin out"  (sportsbybrooks.com)

(495)

There has been a Tiger Woods sighting near Houston. Wait what? Oh someone saw a tiger in the woods near Houston. Ohhhhh. Well, I'm sorry. Never mind  (chron.com)

(52)

		♫ Shovelin' some snow can give you a heart attack-ack-ack-ack, you oughta know by now ♫  (omaha.com)	(57)
		Appeals court smacks down police officer for testifying that his specially trained ears are accurate enough to pick a speeding car out of the flow of traffic  (thenewspaper.com)	(157)

If you don't want to walk home in the cold, you could take a bus, or a cab, or even hitchhike. But for Fark's sake, don't carjack an off-duty cop. We guarantee you'll be sorry  (cbs2chicago.com)

(38)

Not news: Getting fined for public intoxication. Fark: While quietly waiting for your designated ride  (torontosun.com)

(168)

		Some cars are literally invisible to red light cameras  (theledger.com)	(70)
(Missoulian)		Talking trash or having sex in your squad car? You might want to make sure that you haven't inadvertently activated your radio  (missoulian.com)	(24)

Tanker leaks 8,000 litres of lube onto German highway, narrowly beating your Mom's record  (thelocal.de)

(38)

(PhillyBurbs)

Unarmed, naked man stands in his yard, threatens to kill cops with his extreme naked-fu  (phillyburbs.com)

(24)

Suspect in killing of 4 Seattle police officers shot dead overnight after standoff  (komonews.com)

(488)

Indiana police called to two separate Toys 'R Us stores because customers were fighting over robotic hamsters. I had no idea Richard Gere spent his holidays in Indiana  (consumerist.com)

(130)

(TheSunNews.com)

Today's most incoherent actual headline: "Trooper fired after hat fib wants back in"  (thesunnews.com)

(118)

If police are kind enough to place your bank robbery note in front of you, you might as well eat it. Claim is was bad poetry later (with dashcam munching video)  (ohio.com)

(36)