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Headlines matching 'parents'
Fri February 10, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Yahoo) Sad Tennis pro Arantxa Sanchez Vicario says $60 million in career earnings are gone, alleges parents' racket took her net profit  (sports.yahoo.com) (12)
(YouTube) Hero Not news: Teenager trash-talks parents on Facebook. News: IT Dad finds said post while upgrading teenager's laptop. Fark: Lectures her and goes "Dirty Harry" on the offending computer  (youtube.com) (390)


Tue February 07, 2012
(WTOP) Dumbass Parent of the year can't figure out why failing to get his kids to school 150 times in the past two years is an issue  (wtop.com) (115)


Mon February 06, 2012
(NJ.com) Cool High school student tests her own genetic abnormality in order to reassure her parents. Turns out she's just a teenager  (nj.com) (30)
(Some CFC) Dumbass Student in trouble for using Old Spice deodorant spray flamethrower to set special ed student on fi...wait, they still have spray deodorant?  (wtsp.com) (118)


Sat February 04, 2012
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady)) Sick Parents and sons accused of stealing blind and deaf grandparents' credit card and ringing up $12,000 in purchases. W/ all in the family white trash mugshots  (dailygazette.com) (122)
(News.com.au) Scary Scientists want to engineer designer babies with three parents. MU-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA  (news.com.au) (63)


Wed February 01, 2012
(Some Guy) Scary A little kid kicks dirt on your car, do you A) tell him to get lost B) Threaten to tell his parents C) Pick him up and dangle him over an aggressive, chained pit bull?  (charlotteobserver.com) (94)


Sun January 29, 2012
(News.com.au) Obvious Teachers to parents: "We've had enough, it's time to raise your own kids"  (news.com.au) (209)
(Starpulse) Asinine Tuition paying parents of Rutgers students now thrilled to hear that their kids can earn three credits taking Beyonce 101  (starpulse.com) (52)


Sat January 28, 2012
(WINK) Florida Legislature considering bill to allow parents to fire teachers if they don't give their little snowflakes an A  (winknews.com) (84)


Thu January 26, 2012
(YouTube) Survey What terrible things that you swore you'd never never do have you learned from your parents? Have drugs/therapy helped?  (youtube.com) (260)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida After you've been busted for injecting Super Glue into women's butts, the next logical career move is to get attacked on-stage by the victims' parents during a taping of a trashy TV show  (sun-sentinel.com) (50)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Ever wonder why your grandparents are such staunch Republicans?  (dailymail.co.uk) (87)


Wed January 25, 2012
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Asinine Prized football recruit cannot sign with University of Georgia because (a) He didn't make good grades, (b) He started a fight at school, (c) his parents are undocumented Samoan immigrants  (ajc.com) (107)


Tue January 24, 2012
(Some researcher) Followup "Answer me: Who taught you how to share your account passwords?" "From you, all right? I learned it by watching you"  (zephoria.org) (74)


Fri January 20, 2012
(Daily Mail) Dumbass "Bride-to-be dumps her boyfriend to move in with his father" Wow, are your SO's parents attractive in THAT way?  (dailymail.co.uk) (250)
(Some Great Warrior) Hero In which I fix my girlfriend's grandparents' WiFi and am hailed as a conquering hero  (mcsweeneys.net) (99)


Thu January 19, 2012
(MLive.com) Fail Hiding under the bed didn't work when you tried it on your parents, let's see how it does against the cops  (mlive.com) (16)


Wed January 18, 2012
(Some Guy) Sad Sleep preserves and enhances the memory of the time you came home from college a day early and found your parents going at it with that gas-powered dildo from Naked Gun. Damn you sleep  (medicalxpress.com) (15)


Tue January 17, 2012
(Huffington Post) Hero Gay parents are not only better than their heterosexual counterparts, but they do so by adopting children who are typically "too old," outside of their race, or have special needs. Tag is for anyone, anywhere, who adopts a child  (huffingtonpost.com) (286)


Thu January 12, 2012
(Some Guy) Amusing If your kids don't know the "truffle shuffle," or why you don't feed Mogwai after midnight, you have failed as a parent  (thenoobnews.com) (224)


Wed January 11, 2012
(CNN) Sad Cash strapped parents ignore lump on kid's neck. "It was painless and didn't bother him". In other news, apparently lymphoma is painless  (cnn.com) (221)


Mon January 09, 2012
(The Daily Beast) Followup Flaunting their celebrity hubris, Beyoncé and Jay-Z not only rented out an entire hospital floor, but they banned other parents from seeing their own newborns  (thedailybeast.com) (96)


Sun January 08, 2012
(Detroit Free Press) Interesting Parents are breaking the age rule to sign their kids up to Facebook. What could possibly go wrong?  (freep.com) (171)
(NME) Dumbass Woman claims Marilyn Manson and Nine Inch Nails music told her her parents wanted to kill her and she needed to burn her parents' house down to survive. What, is this 1996 again?  (nme.com) (91)


Sat January 07, 2012
(wlbz.com) Obvious The Maine Attorney General's office wants you to know that Disney really doesn't want your precious snowflake for any of their television shows, no matter what you heard on the radio  (wlbz2.com) (18)


Fri January 06, 2012
(News.com.au) Amusing Government list of disallowed baby names shows that New Zealand parents still cannot get Anal*  (news.com.au) (46)
(Crooks & Liars) Ironic Stupid: New Hampshire GOP passes new bill allowing parents the choice to not educate their children. HILARIOUS: Request must be made in writing  (crooksandliars.com) (234)


Sun January 01, 2012
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Dumbass Fat parents don't want people telling their fat kids they're fat  (ajc.com) (190)


Fri December 30, 2011
(Daily Mail) Amusing 'I hate the Cubs!' Die-hard White Sox fan, six, goes wild when parents give her a Cubs gift as Christmas joke  (dailymail.co.uk) (55)
(Fox News) Sad Parents of the year duct tape infant and toddler, hang one upside down on exercise equipment and of course they captured the moment forever by posting pictures on facebook  (foxnews.com) (46)


Thu December 29, 2011
(Hollywood Tuna) Fail Someone needs to tell Maria Menounos that when you tweet hot tub bikini pictures, crop out your parents first  (hollywoodtuna.com) (36)
(Bitten and Bound) Cool A Kings of Leon rocker and his Victoria's Secret spouse are going to be first time parents. There's no obvious baby bump to showcase just yet but there are a couple of Angel poses worth viewing  (bittenandbound.com) (13)


Tue December 27, 2011
(LA Times) Interesting Good news: Kids not being exposed to undesired boobies as much. Take Away: Study makes parents feel better about the internet. Kids: Whatever you say mom, you never did learn how to use encryption  (latimes.com) (61)


Sun December 25, 2011
(AL.com) Amusing Newest dangerous teen trend that parents should be on the lookout for: snorting candy  (blog.al.com) (62)


Sat December 24, 2011
(New Zealand Herald) Interesting Study finds people would much rather travel alongside someone with bad body odour than parents with crying kids  (nzherald.co.nz) (63)


Fri December 23, 2011
(Some Guy) Asinine Grandparents kicked out of the mall for A.) Racing up the down escalator b.) Using the Macy's intercom to announce a 50% store wide discount for the next 30 minutes C.) Taking a picture of their 5 year old grandson  (wndu.com) (165)


Mon December 19, 2011
(PhysOrg.com) Amusing Great tits start at home  (physorg.com) (90)


Sun December 18, 2011
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Interesting Under a new ordinance, Atlanta parents can face a $1,000 fine and up to 60 days in jail when their precious little snowflakes skip school  (ajc.com) (156)


Thu December 15, 2011
(KAAL) Strange Team sports captains at high school pep rally told they are going to be kissed by member of the opposite sex, then are blindfolded and kissed by their parents. Awkward  (kaaltv.com) (88)


Wed December 14, 2011
(ksl.com) Interesting School district "outs" gay 14-year-old to his parents because they were worried he'd be bullied  (ksl.com) (164)
(Some Guy) Strange Florida's drunkest cities also tend to be their grayest, with nightmare-inducing photo of what drunken grandparents might look like  (blogs.miaminewtimes.com) (53)


Sat December 10, 2011
(Some Guy) Sad Not news: Parents suspect kid of smoking. News: They want the kid beaten up because of it. FARK: They farm out the job to a guy known as an child-discipline "enforcer"  (duluthnewstribune.com) (50)


Fri December 09, 2011
(WTSP) Florida Sure, ban alcohol sales to college kids at home football games, when the REAL problem is drunken parents, alumni in the skyboxes  (wtsp.com) (23)


Thu December 08, 2011
(Herald Tribune) Florida School police officer to parents: "Sexting is a new epidemic, and it could be on your child's cell phone." Then he proved it beyond a reasonable doubt with 14 year old. That's above and beyond the call  (heraldtribune.com) (84)
(The Local France) Strange Parents take teachers hostage in school during what must have been the worst parent-teacher-day ever  (thelocal.fr) (24)


Tue December 06, 2011
(Politico) Obvious Newt Gingrich does not want to send your children into the coal mines or other heavy industry, just wants them to compete with lower level service worker parents to further deflate their wages  (politico.com) (347)
(Daily Mail) Obvious The Faked Death of the Traditional Family: How 'experts' are trying to kill off the traditional family, claiming most of us live in alternative set-ups  (dailymail.co.uk) (139)


Sun December 04, 2011
(NYPost) Sad During a North Pole geography lesson, second-grade teacher informs the students that Santa doesn't exist. Why yes, some parents have a problem with this. "It's outrageous that a teacher would strip a child of their innocence"  (nypost.com) (198)


Mon November 28, 2011
(SeattlePI) Sad Ohio places 200 pound third-grader in foster care after luring him away from his parents with a trail of gravy  (seattlepi.com) (264)
(My Central Jersey) Sick As if responsible parents needed more worry, a number of states now have student vaccination opt-out rates of over 5% (and growing)  (mycentraljersey.com) (482)
(The New York Times) Obvious Surname hyphenation, TNG: Some parents are realizing that there may be down-sides to saddling their new tyke with a name like "Joey Wilde-Cunningham-Lindquist"   (nytimes.com) (295)
(The New York Times) Amusing Parents increasingly hit Google to help pick baby names, particularly to avoid stripper names for their daughters. "I didn't want there to be a Google identity for her to wrestle with"  (nytimes.com) (264)


Thu November 24, 2011
(Some Guy) Hero Happy sneakily update your parent's browser day  (winnipegfreepress.com) (103)


Wed November 23, 2011
(PennLive) Sick New York Times protects Sandusky victim by not printing his name. Instead, they print his parents' names, neighbors' names, address, school district, graduating year, hobbies, employer, and what types of socks he likes to wear  (pennlive.com) (68)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Daniel Radcliffe's parents initially rejected Harry Potter role, fearing filming would be "too disruptive" and that he'd end up naked on stage with an 'orse  (dailymail.co.uk) (114)


Tue November 22, 2011
(CBC) Asinine Just when you thought that having your house burn down was the worst thing that could happen, thieves rummage through the remains and steal your parents' ashes  (cbc.ca) (26)


Sun November 20, 2011
(The Eagle Tribune) Silly Feathers are "a good way to express your rebellious side without freaking out your parents"  (eagletribune.com) (60)


Fri November 18, 2011
(DFW Star-Telegram) Asinine Day care teacher pierces child's ears after obtaining permission from: a) the parents, b) the legal guardian, or c) the five-year-old  (star-telegram.com) (46)


Thu November 17, 2011
(Metro) Strange I love Skyrim as much as the next guy, but this is ridiculous  (metro.co.uk) (169)


Wed November 16, 2011
(Some Guy) Silly The six worst kinds of parents. Your mom curiously missing  (smosh.com) (62)
(WFTV) Florida Just another day in Florida features a knock down, drag out, school lunchroom fight between two 11-year-old girls ... and a parent  (wftv.com) (66)


Mon November 14, 2011
(Houston Press) Strange This one starts with some parents smoking weed with their kids, continues with an argument, a .22 pistol, a baseball bat and a machete. Then a Pakistani immigrant shows up and it gets weird  (houstonpress.com) (57)


Sun November 13, 2011
(Some Hockey Guy) Video Bruins surprise parents of National Guardsman on hand for ceremonial face-off by bringing son home from Afghanistan. Who left this bowl of dusty onions here?  (lastangryfan.com) (70)
(Calgary Herald) Spiffy Old and busted: Helicopter parents. New hotness: free-range kids  (calgaryherald.com) (71)


Sat November 12, 2011
(Yahoo) Interesting 'Fake Marijuana' may trigger heart trouble in teens, real marijuana use may cause decline in parents' stash  (news.yahoo.com) (124)
(Some Guy) Amusing A look back at the first days online in your parents basement  (guestofaguest.com) (30)


Fri November 11, 2011
(Some Guy) Sappy Parents of fallen Navy SEAL who gave up career as artist to join SEAL Team 6 discover hidden treasure trove of over 150 of his paintings in their barn loft  (wtkr.com) (76)


Wed November 09, 2011
(Houston Chronicle) Fail Your snowflake is being bullied by another student do you: A) talk to the parents, B) talk to the principal, or C) Help jump the other kid at the bus stop?  (chron.com) (185)


Tue November 08, 2011
(KOLD - Tucson) Sad Number of men living with their parents in the U.S. has jumped from "moderate" to "Italian"  (kold.com) (146)
(Some Teen) Florida Parents decide that letting teens have sex at home is much safer than pretending they don't have sex at all. What could possibly go wrong?  (wtsp.com) (99)


Mon November 07, 2011
(Gamma Squad) Sick Facebook group members mail chicken pox infected candy to parents who want to infect their kid with the disease instead of vaccinating. A plague on all their houses  (gammasquad.uproxx.com) (250)


Sat November 05, 2011
(Daily Mail) Sick Seven year old girl forced to work as nightclub dancer to support her disabled parents  (dailymail.co.uk) (169)


Thu November 03, 2011
(Some Guy) Amusing What happens when parents tell their kids that mommy and daddy ate all of their halloween candy? HILARITY, that's what (video goodness)   (ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com) (56)
(PCWorld) PSA AOL shuts down LISTSERV. If you don't understand this headline, ask your parents after they stop crying  (pcworld.com) (47)


Wed November 02, 2011
(Des Moines Register) Ironic Parents went to their child's school to discuss a fight, wind up getting into a fight (w/mugshot that will leave no doubts in your mind)  (blogs.desmoinesregister.com) (128)


Tue November 01, 2011
(Pravda) Interesting Two Russian girls switched at birth to live next door to each other without exchanging parents  (english.pravda.ru) (39)
(NPR) Florida Florida: "Due to your parents being illegal immigrants, we're going to have to charge you out-of-state tuition." Student: "But I was born in the US and I live in Florida." Florida: "So?"  (npr.org) (315)


Sun October 30, 2011
(Some Guy) Ironic The Onion prints article regarding study from California Parents Institute, which says: every style of parenting produces disturbed, miserable adults. Some disturbed, miserable adults at the CPI have a problem with this  (pressdemocrat.com) (76)


Thu October 27, 2011
(Washington Post) Obvious High school parents worry that teens are getting too frisky at homecoming dances. This is not a repeat from 1951, 1961, 1971, 1981, 1991 or 2001  (washingtonpost.com) (117)


Wed October 26, 2011
(Some Guy) Asinine Christian radio host warns parents that lesbian nurses will make their kids gay  (wisconsingazette.com) (198)


Sun October 23, 2011
(Daily Mail) Obvious Old people don't need large homes, so they should be moved somewhere more convenient. OCCUPY YOUR PARENTS HOUSE  (dailymail.co.uk) (100)


Thu October 20, 2011
(Some Guy) Fail Good: School calls parents to say the bus carrying their special-needs children home will be a little late. Fark: Does not tell them it's because the driver passed out, crossed oncoming traffic and crashed into a tree  (wtkr.com) (42)


Mon October 17, 2011
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Parents, teachers upset with students' attire. This is not a repeat of every year since before you were born  (sun-sentinel.com) (118)


Sat October 15, 2011
(Slate) PSA Do you have inquisitive children that are huge Star Wars fans but are flummoxed by the prequels? Here's a guide for parents to handle the strain of the prequels without having to watch them  (slate.com) (53)
(Some Guy) Asinine "Father' and 'mother' will be replaced with official terms Parent 1 and Parent 2 in Britain. Nanny State now officially "Primary Caregiver" state  (eutimes.net) (77)

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